My Ex-Wife Is Ruining Our Lives 

This guy will get to the point sometime around 2040.

Ex-wife doesn’t want you but she doesn’t want ANYONE ELSE to have you! My husband went through the same thing and I never engaged and he didn’t either.

I think the guy still has feeling for his ex. There lies the problem.

I will never understand why people marry, have a miserable divorce, AND THEN SIGN UP FOR IT AGAIN!!

How did this story make it on here? Staff dropped the ball

They don’t get along because he’s a baby…she’s never going to change, they are never going to like each other. This is stupid, let it go.

There’s way more than the guy is saying. Doesn’t add up. He did something to tick off the ex.

The sad part about dealing with horrible exes is that is makes you long for the day your kid is grown so you don't have to deal with them (the ex) anymore instead of just enjoying their childhood

Nope.

The whole exes ought to get along with each other is assumed. It can happen with some effort; it rarely happens naturally. In my case, I'm a polyglot working as a linguist. The ex-married a woman with such a thick accent, most people can't understand her. I'm sure she's a lovely woman, I don't want to feel like I'm on the job, trying so hard to understand her. The ex-wanted me to become friends with her after they started shaking up. It would have been torture to try to understand whatever she had to say. So I told him: 1. If you want me to go out to lunch with her, you will have to pay my rates, it will feel like I'm at work. 2. You two are shacking up, not married. If I shack up with someone (not likely) would you want to go to a ball game with him? He never asked me again. Then, they got married. The new wife was jealous of mine & the ex's daughter. He had promised to help our daughter with college. He let the new wife talked him out of it. Our son lost his job in an economy downturn. The new wife talked the ex into NOT allowing our son to stay with them temporarily. I found out he was couch surfing from one friend apt to another. The second wife is very financially comfortable, she & the ex have a very large, beautiful home. I only had 2 bedrooms. One was my BR, the other was a sitting room. I turned it into a bedroom for my son to stay in until he got on his feet. The exes wife never wanted children, never had any. She seemed to be jealous that the man she married did have children. Me? I stayed as far out of it as I could while also helping my kiddos when they needed it. It's not always the first wife who is the bad person. According to what the ex & wife # 2 said about me, they said I was jealous of the 2nd wife, not true. They told a few of our mutual friends that I abandoned our children which what I did was the opposite. I helped our children when the ex-turned his back to them to please the second wife. Such a tangled web. Moving 600 miles away from that mess was the best thing. I'm still there for my children, just want to stay as far away from the ex & his garble speaking wife.

SET BOUNDARIES AND DON'T BE A NOODLE

It sounds like hes the one still upset.

This man should never write a book.... more frustrating to listen to than the actual problem

His new wife signed up for this. She new the first time they picked up the kids together and the ex tried to break them up. She has lost her right to complain. She new he had a crazy ex from the beginning.

I think callers need to be screened before they’re actually allowed on air. Some of them are so painful I can’t bare to listen. I’m clicking out.

I had to let go of an opportunity to be with beautiful hearted person... because his ex is certifiable, lives to create narcissistic , sociopathic suffering...and 2 of her young adult kids believe & act from her flavor of vindictive. The level of abuse had been phenomenal. There just was no way to have boundaries enough, for it not be living in a mine field.

The new wife sounds like she gets really riled up by all this and that’s not good.

No one has to like being targeted. Maybe it'd help , to have a stronger sense of his being the shield for the new home life . For him to be more Pro active and supportive . She's probably more upset because she may feel alone in her position.

I married an older guy with adult children and I've never even met his ex we have been together 6 years, we have a 3 yr old, his son doesnt talk to his mom cause she beats people with dinner plates and screams a lot idk 🤡

Why do you keep saying that's what the new wife signed up for? Who signs up for misery?

This guy needs to get into counseling so he can move on from the ex. But he won't. He can't and won't let go and neither will the ex. They are trauma bonded. The new woman should have run when the ex unloaded on her at the first meeting. She shouldn't have married someone with so much unfinished business with the ex. This second marriage will likely end up in divorce.

Stop reacting to her baiting. He says he is not, but he and new wife clearly are reacting in whatever way. There is a technique for dealing with narcissists (not saying the ex is one) called 'grey rock'. You do not react at all, no matter how many buttons they push. Eventually she will have to stop, because it gets her nothing, no reaction from him and new wife, and it begins to look really silly just doing the one sided thing. He and new wife have to change the situation, and grey rock is the way to go.

Answer to original question: Both read Wednesday Martin’s Stepmonster

Hard to feel bad for women who marry single dads. You automatically sign up for a competition you know you already lost with his ex and his kids. Maybe if he was a widower it could be considered.

I’m dating a married but separated (not legally) woman for 8 months. We started talking just after she left him by chance. Her dad was my neighbor and passed away and she split from her husband and moved into her dad’s house next to me. We hit it off really good. Her husband blew a gasket when the realities of being separated kicked in. Her being with me, me being around their son, etc. Btw she conveyed to him for years that he needed to change and didn’t and then she finally left. He’s harassed and ridiculed her since separating for 8 months now. He’s been hostile towards me. The problem is that she is so passive and too nice when it comes to all of this. When I tell her you need to put him in his place, tell him how it is. Which btw she would hide so many things from him about us and how serious we are and how much I’m around their son etc. and when I try to tell her that’s not the way to go about it she says things like well I don’t want to deal with the drama and I don’t want to push him away because he’s still there for me and I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to be on bad terms etc. It’s a very difficult situation. If I press too hard about it she says well I didn’t intend to be in something serious again it just happened and I’m not ready to do what you’re asking. You signed up for being with someone that is newly separated etc. He’s gotten a lot better than before but we are still very dysfunctional because of his behavior and we still just aren’t free to be a normal couple if that makes sense and it’s very annoying. I have a lot of anger and frustration towards the situation.

Maybe he was the one who cheated

This dudes story telling is unbearable

Some men will never learn. They just keep going on blissfully ignorant of what awaits them. Or they know and try to convince themselves this time will be different.

Get to it ... damn. Some ppl should tell stories

She ain’t the first wife…duh! The new wife is making this very bad…not the other way around.

The new wife needs to mind her own business and stay out of it. This is their daughter getting married lady, not yours. Be a quiet guest at the wedding and as soon as over go home to avoid any drama. Let your husband stay and help with anything after the wedding. I can’t stand when I see new wife trying to be the mother of kids that have a mother already.

He called on the behalf of his wife and her feelings about his ex-wife, but he should have been calling for himself. His new wife will not be happy to hear him say that he still wonders about what could have been with his ex. And poor Dr. John - he just wanted this guy to get on with the story!

Idk I think we could have used more backstory

This guy has the storytelling skills of an 8-year-old…and apparently the maturity of one as well.

This is why I am scared of dating again because of crazy exes. I don't speak to my exes -- period. Once, I dated a man who still had some sort of an entanglement with an ex and it turned me off. Bye bye!

This story is boring me to tears.

and the new wife probably can’t stand the old wife because she knows HE’S NOT OVER THE FIRST WIFE! It would surely bother me too, but I’m smart enough not to make that mistake!

Hes not really over his ex, he was cheated on and still wants to know why. He needs to understand that there isn't always going to be closure. And sometimes people do cruel things because they can. He needs to stop looking for an answer from his ex. His current wife is going to get tired of being his afterthought

Underlying issue is that he is a weak man, got cheated on, and still can’t stand up for himself. It’s ruining his life and every life connected to his life. His ex wife continues to disrespect him EVEN THOUGH SHE CHEATED ON HIM.

She cheated and she's still making him unhappy afterwards! This woman is a witch! (B)

Example of why I would never have dated a single father.

Ee I can't I'm moving on havnt got th patience for this 1 lol

The thumbnail and the title don't correlate...

Scott is too nice. There are times in life when you need to draw a line in the sand and set boundaries and stick to them. Chances are his wife is never going to change. Don't put up with her bad behavior and drama anymore.

This is why EVERY divorce should wait 5 years (or more) to remarry or date. It takes time to heal and untangle and get therapy and analyze the breakdown/your own issues. Also, if there is children, they will also benefit from the time to heal and just "be" prior to merging with a new step parent/family. (I say this as someone who is year 7 from a divorce and has yet to date because my kids are my first priority).

OMG, this is painful to listen to. I haven’t a clue where I am in this story, I give up 2:21 into this 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Great advice from John. Stop letting it be a problem by completely dismissing everything she attempts.

Never get involved with someone with an ex like this. Please run

Something don't add up. If she cheated, she wouldn't be upset. I don't think the whole story is being told. Show up at the wedding and events without your current wife. It is for your kids not for your wife or ex. You will be hurting the kids.

learn from this, women. before you date someone ask yourself if he has emotional luggage. has he dealt with it? is he still angry about how his life went down etc.. if not, you will pay the price and it will cost you your peace - happiness - wealth, beauty, and more.

No one needs to hear all that! Get to the point Sherlock. The now wife, should have known better than marrying a man with baby mama drama. With that said, he enjoys the chaos. Some people enjoy having others fighting for their attention, and this is one of those cases.

The current wife has anger towards the for former wife? He’s triangulating…and he’s in a sh$&y marriage and now blaming the former wife…yet again!🎉

Spit it out already!

This is why I NEVER dated guys with kids. Too much drama and baggage. Specially when I never wanted kids myself. And even if the ex is super cool, it’s still lots of chaos and you’ll never be a priority as a spouse cuz the kids will come first as they should.

It shocks me he brought someone around his kids after 3 months they didn't date long enough for this to fully sink in for his new woman and I can almost guarantee if she could she wouldn't have married him , I'd love to hear her side cause I bet she's mad at him and the whole situation

You cannot control what your ex does and how she acts! You on the other hand can control what you do! Don’t expect your children to pick and choose! She is her mother and you are her dad! You are putting your children in the middle and in the hot seat! Your children love you both! Just love them back!

This isn't new - I saw it yesterday. They guy is very whiny.

Not gonna lie, the more of these bitter divorce/child involvement situations I hear, the pickier I get with any woman I even think about dating. Divorce with kids and a bitter ex-wife sounds like a life sentence.

It just sounds to me like this guy needs to grow a pair. If he was this wishy-washy in the first marriage, I can see why he is divorced.

Discovery ID episode in the making.

My daughter married a guy whose ex was a constant problem. She even moved about 1/4 mile from them and stopped by often to visit her son. It destroyed the marriage.

I don't have any crazy exes thankfully. But I'm scared of getting one if I start dating again.

I wish I could get help with something. My ex's mother, who I love dearly, is 80 years old. My ex died a few years ago, and she misses him terribly. She talks about him a lot, and she's sad that no one ever brings him up. She's afraid that people forgot all about him. I don't want to tell her how abusive (sexually, physically and emotionally) he was, to me and many others, because that will hurt her more. He was absolutely evil!! My problem is that I love her so much, and I talk to her regularly, but hearing about my ex just triggers my pain all over again. I don't know what to do.

Why dies rhe cureent wife have to settle the ex? Its his problem. He should handle this😡

I’m on the ex wife’s side, this guy is the absolute worst

I'm sorry dude Spit it Out!! I shut it off getting lost, staying engaged.

It’s best to refer to the X as the X, not my X. Using the phrase the X makes it once emotionally removed. It’s much better that way.

I wanted to hear more of the drama that led to the restraining order

I completely agree with JD. If you don’t have a legal agreement expect chaos. Her turning around claiming the other kid isn’t illegal and it seems like that’s what he’s bitter about. Blame yourself and move on.

But wouldn't you be far more worried if your wife and ex-wife were besties?

Good advice Dr.

It's like Super Chicken always said 'You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred'.

Dude. Introducing your kids to a woman you only known for a few months? Wtf

Take a shot everytime he detours from the main story

I would love to watch more of those stories, but I never realized how hard it is apparently (and under stress) to tell a story.

My god..... Just say what!!!!

this is probably a dumb question but i can't figure it out! how and where do you watch his show live?

Could of made that story so much simpler lol by the time he got on to the second sentence I forgot th first lol took too long to get it out sorry

Me: "What time is it?" Caller: "Why don't I first explain how to build an analog clock . . . ."

Misery loves company! Choose not to be her company! You cannot fix or change another person! Live your life and be happy! Let your ex be her miserable self! Be an overcomer!

1:14 in and stopped... figure everyone in this story is suffering... sorry to hear..

I think it’s important for you guys in the comments to approach this with compassion. He struggles with storytelling here but he made the effort to call to try and fix things. He messed up in thinking this leans more on his current wife and ex wife. And also, he’s not fighting the advice John is giving him. Both can be true

Dating men with children is not the most ideal and it comes with baby mama drama. Unfortunately the women who choose these men (myself included) have to be prepared for the shenanigans of the previous woman is not bitter and immature.

16:50-I definitely wouldn’t miss my own daughter’s wedding because her mother might cause a scene. Absolutely not. Be there for your daughter and new son in law and ignore the ex. Do not engage whatsoever. Sure it sucks but missing your daughter’s wedding would be a huge regret.

this sounds familiar. as the mad ex. my ex was a dead beat dad. yah. i wanted him to be accountable. pay support. visit. also claimed kids for tax credit. infuriating! nope. he started a new family. left us in the dust.

This guy is still very much in love with the ex-wife, but doesn't want to admit it. He hasn't gotten over his heartbreak. Sad that he got married before he went through a self healing journey. Jumping from one relationship to another with love from the previous one never ends well. The new woman knows it deep down in her heart and that's what got her hating his ex, whom he is much more deeper in love with.

I think his ex wife has made him into a stuttering mess!! And she cheated, have her keep her distance, before you know it the kids will be old enough to visit when they want , in peace.🤗🙏✌️

I get the feeling he is trying to let it go to the point he is not allowing his current wife to vent her feelings. At least let her know you understand how awful your ex is.

Sounds like he wants back with his ex and is trying to find a reason to be upset with his current wife.

She sounds like a very disturbed person. She needs help.

Great video! Remind people life can be that simple

Is this guy ever capable of getting to the point...?! Danggg

I feel sorry for the current wife

Why does he care if she hates her?

Love your show, actually just picked up building a non anxious life and I’m already halfway through in a day 😂 amazing read

I’m a stepmom of three children (24, 20, 18) and one biological child (21). My husband’s ex-wife and I are decent to one another because of the kids. I have my opinion about her and things can get challenging. I’m so thankful we can get along.

Ladies stay away from single dads!!🚩

#2 for a women is a shi$&y spot to life in, no???

I always find it funny just because someone has a DR. in front of their name people believe anything out of their mouth. A good friend can give you better advice a lot of the times than these guys.

This is the longest drawn out ramble ramble I've ever heard. 🤦‍♀️