My Hospital Birth Story: 86 1/2 Hour Labor & Surprise Gender Birth Gone Wrong 

It’s a whole different game when they think the baby may have ingested meconium aspiration!! Medical staff must do what’s best for your child regardless of what your expectations were…

Just to be clear, so that other first timers don't get the wrong idea ... no one has an 80+ hour labour. Labour doesn't start until you're 4cm dilated. It's SO important to stress that, so energy isn't wasted freaking out about those early and relatively mild contractions.

It’s not the drugs in the epidural that cause you to go to sleep. It’s the total relaxation and lack of pain in your body.

Back labor is extremely painful. I had back labor for my first and I went through early labor for weeks. I remember I went into the hospital and they told me I was 4 cm but not contracting regularly enough I could stay at hospital or I could go home so I went home and I literally stayed pregnant and miserable for the next 10 days with back labor and contractions the whole way! Very frustrating and painful. Finally had her in a very fast natural birth 10 days after. That was 25 years ago when they didn't interfere with labor as much. Back labor is agonizing and confusing for the first pregnancy. I literally just felt like my back was breaking and I constantly had pressure like I had to go poop 😅 I spent a lot of time in the tub and in the shower trying to relieve the pain. Glad that you still kind of had a surprise with the gender and that he was healthy ❤️

Also, the reason you progressed so fast once you had the epidural, is because you were no longer over reacting to the discomfort of early labour. Your stress levels were so high that adrenaline blocked the prostaglandins necessary for progress. This happens when we have an extreme response to pain. Early labour is uncomfortable for everyone. It's not painful in the way labour is, but it's not painless either. It's our response which matters. The pain is basically the same for everyone, but we all respond to it differently.

I can sense the disappointment of things not going the way you'd hope in the end but you should be so so proud of yourself for this birth!! There were many times when you couldve given up (and many women do) much earlier in your labor and you didn't. It was smart to stay home as long as you could and I loved how you continued to advocate for yourself and your baby (turning down medications/interventions) whenever you could. You were a very informed first time mom and it shows! I had a shorter labor but a very similar first time birth so I can relate to the feelings of disappointment and frustration. You learn as much as you can going into it but there's nothing that can really prepare you mentally and spiritually for birth until you go through it! I just wanted to offer some encouragement and words of wisdom (that you don't have to listen to because I'm a stranger on the internet lol) BUT birth is more spiritual than anything else. A lot of what makes a "successful" unmedicated/"natural" birth experience is the understanding that you must surrender to it fully. And hold space for the instinctual mother to come out and do the work. Remaining in a dark, quiet space. Keeping the labor private (not telling a bunch of people or inviting a bunch of energies into your home). Not "thinking" so much about what you should be doing or the timing or really anything that requires actual thought at all. The more your conscious brain does, the less space there is for your subconscious, instinctual brain to continue pumping the right hormones and leading your body to move your baby out. All the vaginal checks often do nothing but disappoint. And honestly, they are accurate or reliable as the cervix is a sphincter, it can open and close... alot of people don't know that. Anywho, I hope that one day you feel comfortable enough to try again! Birth can still be magical and beautiful! Good luck to you!

I’m so sorry your experience was so much different than you desired for your birth but way to go for allowing it to move you forward rather than making you fearful for the future. My third birth was incredibly redeeming and I hope you will be able to have the same experience with your next baby!

my daughter is 38 wks along....she has a birth plan very much like yours. She is adamant that everything must go according to her plan. Natural, no drugs...She has hired a birth doula to be sure her wishes are respected. I'm so glad to have seen your video. and feel very much less stressed about what to possibly expect. I personally had three babies, all with epidural...and have a hard time thinking I will be seeing my daughter in such pain. Thanks for sharing your birth experience.

Thank you for sharing your story!!! And congratulations on your sweet baby. As a doula I'm sorry that some of your wishes weren't heard or respected (them changing the Pitocin without your consent, not delaying cord clamping longer, etc) but I pray that your next birth experience can be more positive in your eyes. Everyone's labor is so unique and there is so much to learn from the stories. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable enough to share yours :)

Labor starts when you are in active labor, not from your first contraction. From 4-5 cm on. You did so well but I’m sorry about the gender thing, but healthy baby and healthy mom is most important.

My first birth was very similar! 4 days (or nights I should say) of prodromal labor. I was SO EXHAUSTED. I didn’t get pitocin to induce but we did do the midwives brew of castor oil. Which messed with my baby’s heart rate. I still did have a natural birth like I wanted but I did end up in the hospital and was traumatized by the nurses there bullying us. I am now expecting my 4th baby. It gets easier(as in shorter). Every birth is different!

Similar to my birth story, in that I had very long labor as well- once contractions started, it was two nights of not sleeping but trying to sleep while slouched over on my birthing ball :( contractions were close at 3 am one night but then completely slowed...I dont remember now if I tried doing different positions or not before I headed out to see midwife but I was exhausted. FINALLY, 24 hours later, they were at the 3 minute interval again...then in active labor, the only thing I could do was pace until my midwife said it was ok to try for a water birth. the water was great, but after an hour or so of pushing in the tub, she said it wasn't doing anything and that I should try to push on my back. another hour of pushing in that position and it was all finally over. ugh!

Sounds simulator mine except I don’t remember losing my mucus plug. My water broke at 7pm and I had my daughter 21 hours later. I had planned a natural birth, but wasn’t progressing. I got stuck at 2cm and 19 hours in i decided to do Pitocin and an hour after starting that decided to go ahead and get an epidural in case i were to have to get a c-section I would already be numb. I had the same pain in my back. I never felt any contractions in my stomach, but felt immense discomfort in my back (possibly cause a had a posterior placenta) I think is what it was called. Anyway, glad you got a healthy baby boy.

I had back labor with both my kids ,it's a longer harder labor

You're a patient woman. My husband would not be getting sleep like that! They may not carry the baby...but they helped make them. I'm sorry but I'd have to say get your ass up 😂 you must have said 5 times this man was sleeping...like sleep away the hard part...until it's time for the baby....what?? With that said. I'm sorry you went through such a traumatic birth. Us women are superheroes for sure!!

Ive had six babies. The last one kinda went like this. I do want to tell anyone thats reading these comments that my painfull back labor and long labor ended up being because baby was posterior. awful back labor. I wasnt actually even dilating. only 1 cm when getting to the hospital (all of my other babies I was dilated to at least a 7 when i got in to the hospital). What I learned is how important it is to get baby into the optimal position way in advance! The contractions are happening because your body is trying to move the baby into the right position. Its so painful because baby is pushing on your back and thats also why theres no dilation. It sounds like this baby was a big boy so he couldnt make the turn which is why its so important to start getting the baby in the correct position earlier. So, in third trimester (or sooner) no reclining, Do hands and knees 15 min a day (it gets baby out of posterior position and teaches them how to enter the birth canal) I can actually feel baby moving down after ten min of hands and knees. If baby still isnt getting out of posterior position or any of the other weird positions that babies get into then spinning babies really helps tell you which exercises to do and in what order (order is very important!!). I think the reason babies get in these positions so frequently now is because we live such sedentary lives. Women used to do a lot more laborious tasks throughout the day. Anyway, exercise is SO good for positioning during pregnancy. Sitting a lot is bad. If you do sit, sit with your knees lower than your hips/pelvis. Hope this helps someone! Im pregnant with baby number seven and I pray this one goes smoothly!!

Did her water break 85 hours before birth or was she just having braxton hicks aka early labor for 3 days????

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Heart Association’s Neonatal Resuscitation program, if baby is vigorous and crying at birth, you do not investigate for meconium aspiration. If baby is limp, without spontaneous respirations, they do suction.

Gender page might have been YOUR GENDER…🤔😉

I had a very similar birth stpry with my first child. 54 hours total and epidural was unsuccessful. They tried 3 times and couldn't get it to work. 😫 The labor was awful and i tore so bad they had to call in a plastic surgeon to stitch me up because i was rold it looked like the exit wound of a gunshot. 😬 My recovery took 3 months until I didn't have pain anymore. I knew I wanted another baby and thankfully my labor and delivery were both amazing that time...as well as the 3rd time. So much easier!!!

Wow wow wow, im so sorry you had to go thru 86 hr.s of pain, but congrats. Next birth will be so diff. I had 3 premature babies, altho the first one a girl was the smallest and earliest at 6 wks early.

Sorry....but if you're having contractions every minute why are they starting to give you pitocin? That makes no sense to me 😮😮😮 Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳

I was thinking about the gender thing. I wonder if it was your identifying patient information which would state female.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am currently 33 weeks and i want to know about everything thst could happen so i can best advocate for myself and my baby from any unnecessary interventions, i want a natural birth the same way you did, and im so sorry that didnt happen for you, honestly i think you should be contacting the hospital management to complain that your wishes were not respected and its no wonder your labour lasted so long with so much negetivity surrounding you, fair play momma you did amazing ❤❤

I had pitocin with no epidural and it was in labor for 4 days before the hospital was able to do anything only reason they did was cause my water broke then 23 hours after my water broke i had my baby ! It is possible!

What kind of doctor would let you labor for that long? Thankful that your baby is alive😊

What was your husband thinking going to work while your wife is in labour… that would be instant divorce papers.

There was so much you could have done to move things alone faster. And you should have considered starting the pitocin sooner if your baby had had their first poop. Also an epidural works a whole lot better than flash cards!!

Damn my labor was 84 hours and I've been waiting to hear someone beat me :P

Really???

I think it’s important got women to find out about birth and know what’s all happening during labour before giving birth. You can feel so helpless. I read a lot of north stories and had a great midwife and had no fear giving birth. But if you don’t know what’s going to or might happen you can be freaked out. Congratulations.

This was certainly a long and annoying labor… but I’m sorry but this video didn’t need to be prefaced with a look away warning. Your birth sounded wonderful. Congratulations I had 5 minutes to come to terms with having to have a c-section and then my baby was taken from my belly. Which was traumatic and I still cry about it.

Sorry. You were not in active labour until your water broke. You had very powerful Braxton Hicks for days - as most Mums do. Fi a First Baby you had a normal timed labour, you didn't have forceps, it sounds like you did DN have an episiotomy, th unkindest cut. Birth plans are just that, a plan. But when it comes to the actual event your baby needs come first, these are people who do this stuff for a living. You wouldn't think if telling a mechanic, electrician or plumber how to do their job. In labour you hope for the best, but be prepared to have to change your plan for a healthy Baby and mother. Good luck with Baby number 2! X

I am surprised with your attitude towards this. Seems like you tortured yourself for 80 hours "birthing the RIGHT way", then you finally listened to those terrible doctors and you had the rest of the birth fast and easy. Don't you think that if you went with pytosin and epidural you would have a very different positive experience and by day 5 be already home with your baby boy?

Try homebirth next time…

Thanks for sharing! You’re right about Pitocin! Everyone I know that got PIT, got an epidural. I did 46ish hours of labor 13 in the hospital… I was doing great! But I was a VBAC so the clock was ticking as soon as I got to the hospital. Also I was 42 weeks on the dot 😭😭😭and had been at a 8cm for 10 hours…. So I eventually got Pitocin. Typically @ my hospital, they start at a (2). I guess the flow level? I refused and only let them go up 1 at a time. Within 5 minutes of getting pitocin, I was only at 1, and I was screaming for that epidural. I didn’t care about anything but stopping the pain. It felt so unnatural The fact that pitocin is labeled as oxytocin at the hospital BLOWS MY MIND. it’s essentially the same chemical compound, but it can’t cross your blood brain barrier like REAL NATURAL oxytocin. So therefore it doesn’t have the same affects. There’s a reason pregnant women release a crazy amount of oxytocin in labor. We need those happy hormones to mask the pain, along with adrenaline. Anywaysssss I enjoyed listening to your story 🩷