new update on 2nd story, things got even darker "please stop diagnosing him. As I said in my other posts, we have tried everything to get him healthy. I know this is because he has an illness. But I can't help. This man almost killed me. Please don't make me feel more alone than I already do by just carrying about him when he almost killed me. Last week, my husband showed up at our home completely out of control. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but he came without any warning, and right away, he started yelling. He was accusing me and our 15-year-old daughter of being against him, saying we were plotting to destroy him. He was furious. I tried to calm him down, but it just made him angrier. He started throwing things and shouting that we were ruining his life. Then, he turned on our daughter. He called her a "whore" and said she was supposed to be the "good one," but she had turned against him too. He was moving toward her like he was going to hit her, and I got between them to protect her. That’s when he shoved me so hard I hit the wall, and he slapped me across the face. I was stunned, but he didn’t stop. He grabbed my throat and started strangling me. I fought back, scratching and biting to get him off me. Meanwhile, my daughter managed to call the police while this was happening. She was terrified, but she stayed on the phone with them, begging for help. When the police arrived, they arrested him right away. He’s now facing charges for domestic violence, and the court has put a restraining order in place. I can’t even explain how scary that moment was, but I’m just glad my daughter was able to call for help. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise. The legal process is moving quickly now, especially after the violence. The court has ordered a psychiatric evaluation to see if he’s fit to even be around our daughters, let alone have visitation rights. At this point, I’m expecting full custody of my 15-year-old. She’s been through so much, and she doesn’t want to see her father anymore, even if it’s supervised. I think the court will honor that, especially given everything that has happened. On top of all of this, the videos my 19-year-old daughter posted online have continued to spread. A lot of people have reached out with their own stories about the things my husband told them-things I didn’t even know he had said. It’s hard to hear, but it’s also helping me understand just how bad it was. Some of the delusions he had included: He thought I was part of a secret group plotting to harm him. He believed our 19-year-old was spying on him for me. He thought our 15-year-old was trying to poison him by putting something in his food. He said his mother was having an affair with her best friend. He told his father that I hired a private investigator to follow him. He thought a family friend was trying to take over his business. He said one of my close friends was in love with me and trying to help me leave him. He told neighbors that I was going to sell our house and leave him with nothing. He believed my boss was helping me hide money in offshore accounts. He thought our daughters were hiding secret phones and communicating behind his back. He accused me of manipulating our children to turn them against him. He said his sister was trying to steal his inheritance. He believed I had hidden cameras in the house to watch him. He accused me of using witchcraft to control his mind. He thought I was planning to flee the country with our daughters. It’s been overwhelming to hear how far his paranoia went. Some friends have apologized and now understand what was really happening, but others still believe his stories, and that’s been hard. I’m not sure how to fix all the relationships that were damaged by this. I’ve also been getting a lot of questions about what has happened with my daughter’s therapy and the divorce process, so I’ll explain a bit. At first, we had to put my daughter into telehealth because we were waiting for an in-person spot with the therapist we were referred to by our doctor. It took some time to get that set up and approved, but now she’s seeing someone regularly, and it’s been helping. As for the divorce, it could have been simple, but my husband has turned it into a high-conflict situation. I’ve been so frustrated with how slow it’s been going, especially because it didn’t need to be like this. But because of everything he’s done, the courts have had to be more careful, and it’s taking longer than expected. I’m only communicating with him through lawyers now. Once everything is done, I plan to move with my 15-year-old to start over somewhere else, away from all of this. That’s where things stand now. It’s been a horrible, painful experience, but I’m doing my best to keep my daughters safe and make sure we can move forward. Thank you again to everyone who has supported us through this-it really means a lot. "
I'm confused why the 19 year old's move to show in public (via IG) was "never ok", when it was the only public way to exonerate her mother from the lies the dad had already spread? Like, why do you think normal rules apply to this situation?
Absolutely agree, and that part is where they're a little out of their depth. Sometimes they don't understand the entire gravity of situations and give very surface level opinions. It's not their fault, they don't seem to have personal experience with some matters and if they don't have friends or loved ones that have gone through similar experiences they're speaking on then they have nothing to base their opinions on other than their surface level knowledge. There is nothing regular about that story. Therefore, they were more than justified to post it. 😂 (obviously all my opinion)
@@Karamarika surface level knowledge=surface level opinion I also stated it's not their fault that their opinions are surface level, but that is absolutely due to not having experienced it themselves or having someone close to them that did. I didn't say someone couldn't have an opinion 😂
The story about ops husband thought they was cheating bc of a doc they found sounds like my step dad back in the day telling us my school essay was how my mom is cheating on him and I was helping her….. he was on m3th
Same. I mean, snooping is different but I enrole my partner's fingerprint in case he needs something or I forget my phone and need some document... or my hands get cut. I know his password too, sometimes I want to take pictures and my phone is far from me. I admit I had snooped when he's laughing too much. Something between curiosity and jealousy because I want to know who' or what is making him laugh but my ideology is mostly "if you search, you'll find". Some people will hold into the "tiniest evidence" to acuse of cheating. I rather not knowing because the brain is tricky. We have a saying "if eyes can't see it, the heart can't feel it"
@jennifercarlin-goldberg1125 I don't think of it as snooping. I wouldn't care if they went through my drawers. Look all you want at everything you want. I'm not hiding anything. Again, if it's a committed relationship. Trust is earned not given in my book. Been burned to many times giving significant others the benefit of the doubt. If you don't want me going through your phone, I won't but I won't be in a relationship with you either. No hard feelings... do what you do.... but I won't be the fool again
My heart broke for OP in story number 2. I was in a relationship for 4 years with someone who has schizophrenia and it sounds very similar to him (not to diagnose or anything but I felt like her story was my story). At one point we couldn't go 2 months without him accusing me of cheating (when he was inbetween meds or just stopped taking them whenever he would reconnect with one of his bad friends). He one time sent me "proof" in a form of a photo but that photo literally had nothing in it it was just black, I even had to send it to his mom because I was so confused and scared for him. Towards the end when his mental health got really bad he'd pick fights, make me cry, and then lick my tears up (he would then seemingly forget what happened). He would have nights where he'd tell me the voices in his head were telling him to hurt me. I honestly couldnt bring myself to leave because I was so scared for us both so I do commend OP for leaving with her kids to keep them safe. I do hope OP ex husband eventually learns what's going on and gets the help he needs and is willing to take it. It so terrifying to everyone involved and my heart goes out to that family
I listened to Armchair Expert and Dax said that arguing is a normal part of life and relationships, and to make sure you show your kids how you make up and how to work through arguments.
Story 1 - I think the OP is right about the fact that he's still in "I'm the adult" mode with her. Its interesting that she says its like a parent and a child, because I feel this is something that happens with a lot of parents with adult children... of course, they are aware that their kids are no longer kids, but it's hard for some of them to realize that while they are their children, they are no longer children, my mother still does this to me and I'm 40, and then she'll be like, don't know why I didn't listen to you, I tell her her its because she sometimes forgets I'm a grown-ass person and not a kid, or even an immature 20-something. Sounds like OP got through to her husband, and doesn't seem like he's a bad guy just needs a little encouragement to realize he can let go a bit and let them be partners 50/50.
The husband with delusions sounds like maybe sudden drug or alcohol abuse. But, there are several different forms of dementia other than Alzheimer’s disease. And each one has different signs and symptoms.
He sounds exactly like my friend's late mom, who developed schizophrenia from a brain tumor (also in Spain, actually). That said, I'm obviously not a medical professional and I am not qualified to diagnosed anyone, much less over a Reddit post.
When you are married to a person. The idea that it is invading your spouses privacy, by looking into their phone. I believe this is a generational notion. If you are married, and your marriage is intimate, you have children. And also have deeds, and other legal documents in each other's name. Short of physician issues of some kind. The idea of not being able look through your spouses phone is ridiculous. And that type of thinking fosters unchecked bad behaviors. Just my take.
If it’s an emergency or you need a specific piece of information for something, sure. Just going through ANYONES’S phone just because is an invasion of privacy. Everyone enjoys feeling like they can use their own device without someone scrutinizing every little thing.
If my fella ever said I couldn't look at his phone then I know something is wrong. He knows my password and I know his. The reason why people want so much privacy on their phone from their partner is because social media and digital it has made it so easy to cheat, whether emotional or physical. I also think the reason why checking phones is a thing, is because the majority of the time when someone snoops, they are found to be correct. So suspicion is verified and that trauma moves to next relationship.
@@JustMyOpinion40 if my husband ever went through my phone without asking, I’d be bothered. I understand that maybe YOU think it’s fine, but just because you’re married doesn’t mean that all privacy is gone. This take makes it out that you just be hiding something if you don’t want your phone gone through, and that’s incorrect. A normal person enjoys privacy. Every single I do is not for just anyone to see. And let’s say you go through it and find nothing, then what? You have just proven that you don’t trust your partner. That’s toxic, and I’m glad more people are calling it out. So feel free to go through phones, but accept you are taking the first step in potentially ending a relationship.
@@Gayonetta5000 Let me ask you something. When there was only land lines. Where was a spouses privacy infringed? How, was a spouses privacy infringed? When was it infringed. Why are you assuming the only reason to pick up your spouses phone is to look for something incriminating? Why can't you just use the phone because it's there. And yours is charging, upstairs, or on the fritz. If your spouse is on social media. And there is questionable sites they look up. How is that the other spouses problem for being out-of-pocket and going to those sites. I will say it again. Short of a physician issue. Your spouse, should have no issues with you using their phone. For any darn reason.
@@themom2250 using someone’s phone and snooping through someone’s phone are two different things. Of course you can use your spouses phone, that’s not what we’re talking about.
We use both "weed eating" and "weed whacking" in Indiana. 😂 whacking makes more sense to me personally since it literally whacks em and doesn't eat em. But they are interchangeable here 😂 and I use both terms.
I believe it’s John and Anthony’s baby lol. I remember from a different episode. Exactly what that means and how it started I do not know. Lol. I missed it.
Rylie - I'm from New Zealand and my family call it a weed eater too haha. I live in Australia now and I've been corrected that it's called a "whipper snipper" haha.
Last story: "You will have to tell our Child why he has no father"....do you really think that child will see a lot of him? It will be like no farher but another child! Dump that Dude, sometimes it is better alone! Move to your parents and save some money so you can get your own place. Better than that! And try to save evidence of his behavior towards you as you were pregnant, so he does not get custody.
Drugs (meth?), mold, head injury, or yes, mental illness are other options for what is happening with the husband. Dr. Phil has so many shows where it turned out to be one of those, if the person didn't previously act like that.
I’ll check my husband’s phone and he’ll check mine whenever, wherever without asking. I told him that’s the way it’ll be since he’s cheated on me in the past & he agreed. “He needs his privacy”, I AM HIS PRIVACY! Lol
Not sure if you know this or not, but there are things that can be done to hide everything in their phone without you being able to find it by simple search thru phone. It's ridiculous tgd crap that been invented just for that purpose
Story 1 - I’m a Radiation therapist (in Australia) which is closely aligned training to a Rad tech or diagnostic radiographer just more skewed towards cancer eitiology and treatment, it sounds like she will enjoy her career. If her husband can start to engage in conversation and give her back the autonomy over her life that it sounds like she is now in a headspace to take back then they will be ok - if not, she will do fine by herself. Story 2 - good on OP for realising that she cannot protect her children and herself whilst helping him and prioritising her life accordingly. Story 3 - what a waste of space, just loose the husband and yes, age appropriately you can tell your son why his father is not around, don’t block him from access but as he grows he will learn who is there for him and who lets him down time and time again and will form his own opinions and relationship (or lack thereof) with his father.
I also had a kid with someone who ended up being a deadbeat, abusive, and infantile. I've been raising my son alone for almost 15 years now (he's almost 17), no child support and he's seen his dad about once a year since. I'm not complaining or anything like that; i just want the girlies to know you're not alone and you're strong af ❤
First story...i get it but its hard to let a partner take control when they have a history that gives you anxiety. She was irresponsible and bad with money. One of his complaints was schooling cost, which she solved after he said ok to going. Remember that people know their partners best and it takes a long time to rebuild trust whether its cheating, financial, showing up on time, etc. women do it to men all the time 😅
Im married for 11 years, and i never even had the urge to look through his phone. I may unlocked it a couple of times throughout the years just to call someone else that he wanted me to call while he was driving
The story with the wife getting verbally abused. Where tf are her parents?!! Why are they not stepping in? He would be 100% kicked right out of my house
The paranoid husband thing makes me think he either 1. Has a cancer affecting his blood (my grabdpa started acting like this when he got blood cancer) or 2. He has early stage dementia - people think dementia only makes you forget, but it can aslo create fake memories, hostility and paranoia. My grandma scribbles down paranoid notes about events that never happened, insists we told her things we didnt, one of the first things that tipped us off she had dementia was she started going on about her husband cheating on her which was a misunderstanding cleared up years aho
First story: I think there's a possibility she's the AH or no one's at fault. Ok Op has spoken for him being AH, I'll try an alternate perspective I am speaking as an older sibling who's parentified... younger siblings will always speak about them being responsible and handling things then they f up and expect you to finish it. Because of that I have to give them detailed instructions on everything and follow up with them to get tasks done. The more they can get done, the more I trust them to do. If some of my younger siblings blew up on me like this, I'd be offended because partly they are equal contributors. In this OPs example, she admits to having parentified this guy to the point that that's their relationship dynamic... but it feels like she feels she's betterr of now and the dunamic should change... absolutely not... it's not an on and off switch... it's a discussion. But then again does she even love him? Or does she now pity/despise him because she sounds like "I've grown and you've just stayed the same". Anyhoo, details are too few and who are we to judge.
That guy in the first story is INSUFFERABLE. That poor Saint of a woman, patience of an angel because how are you still with him? He is so insecure, the need to feel right or smarter than the other person. Eeeewwwwww...
When it comes to finances in relationships do either drag them into a healthy situation and relationship with money kicking and screaming or they drag you down I'm pretty sure I know which one I would pick
I think once your married you every right to go through your partner's phone. To all the people saying that that's not having trust in your partner but the fact you have an issues with sharing everything with your partner kinda shows y'all don't trust each other enough. Like what are you hiding? Why don't you trust your partner to see it ?
When things go as far as they did with the dad seemingly being schizo, you have to sometimes show your hand to the public because some people are REALLY good at manipulating the situation and at the end of the day the TRUTH needs to be revealed and posting something online may make it more admissable for discovery while some places may not allow private info to be shared if it was acquired without the other parties knowledge. At least thats what i think. And while my situation hasnt gone this far i can relate to a degree with having a spouse that makes things up and seems to beljeve them whole heartedly. Its sad, and you never want to be the bad guy, but sometimes it takes showing people their true colors for you to get a handle on the important things. It's different when kids are involved. It's not just a relationship that you can leave. it's an issue that you need to make SURE you protect your kids from. It's not always black and white fellas, sometimes you've gotta dig a little deeper.
I think the 19-year-old posted all of that to try to tell people the truth to try to fix her mom's reputation. people need to low-key know how dangerous he could be. I don't think what she did was wrong or right it seems a lot more complicated
I can sort of understand where the daughter is coming from postings the videos of her dad, I grew up in a very similar situation and I thought about doing stuff like that all the time, as a child it can be really easy to feel like you have no power in these situations and posting about it, to make other people or even family members that may be able to step in aware. That being said though her mum was working on it the best way she knew how and she really should have just let her mum handle it
Don’t blame not know what weed eating is on being a California boy! I’ve used a weed eater since I was a teen and I’ve lived in California all my life. Maybe blame it on them being city boys. 😂
For the one about the mentally ill husband it's bad to tell that he's having mental health issues but it's worse that he's telling all of their friends that she is a cheating w word wouldn't it be a crazy plot twist though If she's like a sociopath and is actually doing everything he accused of she's just really good at gas lighting I think it's like a 1% chance at least
Story of husband thinking cheating wife I am thinking Paranoid Schitzo or something But the wife needs to leave with daughters as she is right. Its up to him to make the decision for help or even if you do get help finally, it will just lead to further risk if husband refuses and leaves treatment. Paranoia is targetting his family and this is how people become family deleters.
Praise the Lords ❤🎉😂 just said outloud "RU-vid sh!t now" ,refreshed and *BOOM* there you guys are. Here to once again save me from my chamber of doom known as bordem 😂❤😭👌💖💖💖
There should be a members only stream, but as my profile can't have memberships, I'm not sure. If so, it's always sometime after 3pm PT. So just put into google your time zone converted to Pacific time.
