My Lessons from Starting Residency | ND M.D. 

Hey Andy, it’s Kevin from summer retreat 2016. I don’t know if you still remember me, but I wanted to say you are doing amazing and it’s so awesome to see how god is working in your life man and how far you came along since we first met in NC! You are gonna do amazing and you are enough!

Crying is normal in residency. My first time I cried was when I had an attending apologize for rushing through a presentation I gave on a patient that ended up dying. I felt guilty feeling that it was my fault. It was at the end of intern year that I learned that it wasn't. The hard part was remembering what that patient looked like and feeling alone with them while everyone else seemed to blow them off. The second time I cried was during my second ICU rotation. The sickest patients I ever saw, first time I saw a surgical error kill a patient, and witnessing several incidents of what I would call unprofessional behavior from surgical staff. It was the constant feeling that everyone was trying to die on me and all I could do was hold them on for a bit longer. I am still recoverying from intern year. The best advice I can give is be kind to yourself and your patients. Your attendings will truly never understand what you've been through. But in many cases, your patients become a source of comfort and strength knowing the journey you both traveled on. The common theme of residency is loving yourself and others. Too many attendings from medicine to be an efficient machine. The truth is that it will never be. What you can do is care, love, and do your best. From there, the patient will find the right people to help them. But caring is what people will most remember.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on yourself and being a better version of yourself each and every day of residency. With that in mind, you’ll flourish no matter what rotation you are on!

Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone experiences this when beginning something GREAT. Cheering you on!

Trauma surgeon/ED doc from Germany here. This is one of the most truthful and honest videos about starting residency I have ever seen. The good thing is: it really does get better, and yes, it's the people that will get you through it, from housekeeping/maintenance to the head of department. Some parts will replay (when changing hospitals, they will have different docu/order systems), but that feeling of inadequacy will go and stay away. I used to be EXACTLY like you - I always wanted to do more to lighten the workload for others, but here's the secret: the good ones, they like helping you, they feel happy when they can lessen your struggles - and these are the keepers. Shout out to all the nurses and PAs who did that for me. Keep your head up, Andy. This time next year, you will be able to make the new interns feel better, through your guidance based on what you went through. I believe in you. Love from Munich, Anke

As a patient inpatient day 10 right now, it is VERY comforting to see your care! Breathe and give yourself some GRACE!!!! We’re patients and most of us don’t know even if you ‘mess up’

As a recent surgical patient (hepatectomy & cholecystectomy) there is something comforting in knowing that residency can be a very vulnerable time for doctors and that you are learning from that experience. My surgery was by far the most physically and emotionally vulnerable time of my life. My journey is not over and yours isn’t either. Take care of yourself. I will do the same.

Dude I cant tell you how much I appreciate the transparency on this topic. Even though its so hard for mistakes to slip through in the first period, that massive responsibility is so crushing.

Intern year is an emotional rollercoaster! In a 30 minute span you can experience ultimate joy and then extreme grief. It is so hard to understand until you are in it. You got this! One day at a time, one patient at a time.

Stay strong Andy. Intern year is like a furnace, gonna shape you into a much better build for the following years. ❤from Ghana 🇬🇭

"That growing pain is universal", well said. In these times we take comfort that all of us share some sort of discomfort in life, but it is that human determination that will make you a legend.

You got this!!! One day at a time….love watching you on this journey…

I am so glad I found your channel. I really appreciate your introspective thoughts on this process we all go through as doctors. I know you will be a great anesthesiologist one day. Thank you for being honest and making content, from a med student.

Take a deep breath and remember three things; 1) someone else has made a much worse mistake than you. 2). No one died from your mistake (providing that is the case of course). 3) If someone does die from your mistake, cry about it, be sad for a few days, but have the ability to do some self reflection, learn from it and move on!

No Rain, No Flowers. Sounds cliché but it’s the truth. Let yourself feel all the emotions and know that they are valid! You are doing something that others cannot. That’s huge

Praying for you ❤️ You are doing so much and putting so much effort. We are all really proud of you.

I don’t know your background and I don’t want to act like I know how you’re feeling in this position, but I do have some experience as an intern and resident who completed training at a top 10 institution. Being an intern is incredibly easy. I know, shocker for me to say, right? Not at all. My background is a little different than most people, so it’s probably not fair to compare directly across the field. However, being an intern is probably the easiest year in residency. Are you going to work more hours? Absolutely, why wouldn’t you? The people above you have earned their position and now it’s your turn to take the pager and write the notes. It sucks, no one says it’s going to be glorious and fun every single day. However, to beat yourself up over these things is going to prove pointless as you grow in your career. The expectations the attendings and residents have for incoming interns is incredibly low. They expect you to show up early, do what is asked of you, complete tasks on time, and follow through with your duties that have been assigned, as well as your studying upkeep. The rest of the experience is basically navigating a new environment, possibly a new EMR, new hospital, new people, new area, etc, all of which could be fun if you reframe it to be such. All I am trying to say is that I have watched intern after intern come into our program and try to destroy themselves emotionally and physically by trying to be perfect. Please, don’t be that person. Not only does it cause you anxiety and stress, but it is obvious to the other physicians what is going on and it doesn’t look great. What I’ve witnessed while watching successful interns navigate residency is this - they have a great attitude, always willing to learn and be a part of the discussion, ask to help out, perform their duties without trying to take shortcuts, and be dependable. While I agree that there is a time and place where crying is okay, I don’t think it should be occurring often. This should be a happy time in your career and life. Lastly, no matter what institution you train at, everyone knows that if you’re an “outsider” rotating through surgery, then you can expect to get 💩 on. Surgery residents are trying for EVERY opportunity to get into the OR, especially at top institutions where top physicians are operating and there are fellows and upper level residents continuously taking the cases. Therefore, any time they can pawn off busy work on the outsider/intern, you’re guaranteed for it to happen. No other specialty is like this, but you just have to get used to it. Best of luck to you, my friend.

Set your ego aside, and you'll see things from a different perspective. This approach has personally worked for me. It's not about feeling superior; ego manifests differently in each person. No matter how much experience you have, view it as an ongoing journey of learning. This mindset reframes failure into an opportunity for growth.

Give yourself grace! It will get better. Intern year is hard. Prioritize your wellness! Wishing you nothing but the best!

Hang in there Andy it will pass. I remember those days long ago feeling so lost. I will never forget my PGY2 supervising resident tell me after my first day; “congratulations, at least you didn’t kill anyone!!

You're human. Tears can heal. Great video.

This makes me realize that me facing failure as a premed might not be a bad thing. I've had to learn to be ok with not being perfect, which is hard when you're surrounded by people who take 18 credits and have a 4.1 GPA. Learning not to compare myself and know that I'm trying, and also learning to ask for help, has been key for me. I would even say that just like what you said about frustration, that asking for help when you need it shows that you care about doing well. Also, the PAs/NPs/Nurses are a great resource. My mom is a CNM that worked at a high level teaching hospital and she was very supportive of residents and helping them out when they needed it. Shoutout to the PAs that are doing that for you :)

It is hard to go from book learning to real life learning but you are going to get there!! We already know this and one day you will believe us and finally believe into yourself too!!

Andy you got this in spades.. just be kind to yourself and embrace the experience and those around you!

You obviously care deeply about this line of work. You want to be the best you can be. That's going to make you a great doctor. I'm sorry the first steps are so rough. But whatever you do, please don't give up! Hope you are able to get some peace of mind...and rest!

This video made me feel so much better about feeling incompetent knowing that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I know when I start intern year its going to be rough but looking back on this video and reminding myself of the list you made will definitely give me a more positive outlook for the future. Thank you for your transparency.

I left medical school last year during my second year. Wish you all the best.

First year radiology resident here- really feeling the intro! Rooting for you!

So glad you posted this now. I am finishing my first rotation of third year, and I know it's not on the same level but I have been struggling with everything that was on your list this month. (Except the first three, cause my hours were pretty chill, that God). It's good to know that I'm not alone. And that while it certainly isn't going to get any easier, maybe I'll be a little bit more prepared for it the next time around. Off to make my own list now.

As a cancer patient with multiple surgeries this is concerning. I'd want you all fed and rested. I hope it gets better for you.

Exactly, you cannot be the best on day 1! Good luck on your next rotations:)

So interesting to compare your surgery rotation to Shaun’s.

I remember my new grad RN program back in the day. The first few weeks were additional didactic, certifications, etc, the easy stuff. Everyone would come in smiling, happy, preppy, wearing all those girly stuff. Then, when we actually started on the floor, it went 180. As great as nursing was/is promoted, you really don't know how hard it is until you try. Residency is x100000 harder than nursing for sure and a in a different way, but I feel for ya brother. You'll get through it. Love these sit downs, hope to see more and maybe vlogs or day in a life stuff!

I’m glad you are doing better and are forcing yourself to take time out even if it’s only for a hour or so. Great vlog.

Andy…I keep thinking that, were I someday to be your patient, I'd be trusting you completely. Chill! You are learning so much and all of your future patients will be the beneficiaries.

Im an intern too and this video was everything. 💜 this too shall pass

100%. It's a constant pain of knowing what the standard is and what you feel like you know what should be known/done. Yet there is still a knowledge and logical gap that you can't figure out how to overcome. It makes things incredibly frustrating especially for overacheivers. There's also a ton of decision fatigue because everything is so new that even starting fluids causes a moment of fear.

How did the categorical surgical intern know all this stuff? It’s not like he had any different training than you prior to intern year.

If you didn’t start studying medicine (your specialty specifically) before you were 18 for fun, and then continue that on until actually practicing it, 10 or 12 or however many years later, it probably won’t be easy. It probably won’t be just a quick review for you. If you haven’t already shadowed for thousands of hours. If you haven’t already taken the board exams for fun. Definitely gonna be hard.

Andy, I have been watching your videos for quite a while and have really enjoyed them. My daughter starts med school tomorrow and your videos have help me understand what she will be facing. Thank you. Also, I have to ask, what does the ND mean?

keep going!

Hi Andy love your residency vlogs. How fortunate some people never get through med school let alone residency. I guess you already ordered your Tesla? lol. I’m Robert in Florida!

My first time being this early to a post.

hell ya bro you got this!!!

Focus on your own progress and on your goals, remember you want to be a pediatric anesthesiologist not a surgical oncologist. Anesthesiologist don’t have to write a discharge summary, hence don’t over stress about not being able to finish it properly!

you're gonna do great!

Proud of you bro💪

What a Wonderfull video.

There are seasoned doctors still figuring it out. And, there are patients who are misdiagnosed as a result. So, you should really give yourself grace.

Realist thing ever

They weren't kidding when they say nothing prepares you for residency. New ortho PGY-1 and my weight is flying off lmao

NGL. We didn't treat off service interns the same as the surgical interns

new bag/locker tour soon?

Even the hardest days only last 24 hours.

Hello. Don't they give you food in ur first year of residency as part of the incentive?

What are your thoughts on medical cannabis?

Do you mind making a day in the life of a anesthesiology intern

why were you on the other side of the drape?

You're right lol you're not doing anything right... Here is some advice. I was in the Military. Went through Boot Camp and Infantry School. When I got to my unit, I was humbled REALLY QUICK! I thought I learned a lot but I didn't learn SHIT! I was the new guy. First 2 years, I just kept my mouth shut and just listened and did what I was told. Take that as advice! lol