my psychosis story: CPTSD, shadow people & spirit realm/psychic dimension (including artwork) 

00:25 - Hallucinations & delusions (childhood) 04:47 - Coping with psychosis through artwork & creativity 05:23 - Artwork depicting my psychosis 06:22 - Delusions: Mistrust of others & the world 07:18 - Comforting hallucinations & delusions to help cope 08:34 - Hallucinations & delusions (adolescence) 09:48 - Cognitive issues, & Attempts at psychiatric treatment to no avail 10:30 - Experiences of psychosis to help cope with trauma such as grief 11:58 - Hallucinations & delusions (early-adulthood) 16:23 - Therapy for psychosis: Learning to understand, cope with, & lessen hallucinations & delusions

Everything you described, I have also experienced. My early artwork was exactly like yours. It was deeply moving, and I know you were experiencing what I experienced. I see that accepting the diagnosis of psychosis has helped you to achieve some equilibrium, and I don't want to rob you of that by introducing an alternate viewpoint. We all have our own way to process our traumatic mysteries. I have also believed, more than once, that I was insane. However, I realized that there was really only one positive lesson that my trauma could convey, and that was this: fear is the enemy/obstacle people like ourselves must overcome. If fear is surmounted, and equanimity achieved despite all, then nothing can hold sway over the mind. Don't be afraid of your mind, because you are not your thoughts. Don't fear your beliefs, as they are merely aspects of this machine called the mind. You are something larger than this one identity, this one life. Consciousness is a boundless and timeless energy, focused through the lens of a mortal body, but not mortal itself. Know that nothing can be taken from your consciousness, but the receiver, the mind, can be manipulated, undermined, and can be terribly scarred.... I guess I went ahead and offered an alternate viewpoint, didn't I? I couldn't help myself. I know what you are going through. It took me 33 years to realize that I had the solution to my problem with shadow people and hallucinations all along. Stop feeding the beast. It hungers for your fear. Remove the food source, and you will be free.

I just realized last night that this is what I’ve been experiencing and going through since childhood. I have more profound experiences lately and I find it’s worse with high levels of stress and emotions. But just brainstorming and going through memories from when I was alone as a child. I recall always having bizarre experiences and talking with or seeing strange things I couldn’t put into words. I shut down and question of this out of rationalizing it and saying everybody also must secretly behave or go through such things as a child too. Although the other part of me somewhat just didn’t want to believe that was a part of my reality and just acted like none of it was happening. The second somebody else is around it used to be easy to snap back into (their reality) but really it just feels like extremely high masking (as young as 5(but already dealing with trauma), when I was finally placed into a foster home) living with this in private the entire time only to go through more trauma in that household for 13 years. Now as an adult at 20. On the outside I’m a hard worker, highly empathetic just want to do good and be a soft individual, yet in MY real reality I’m paranoid. Hearing people speak with me “telepathically” seeing odd visions of memories that happened when I was tiny yet it doesn’t quite make sense for a while till I show curiosity or engage with whatever my brains trying to teach or show me. Again just realized I’ve been going through psychosis for a very long time. My diagnosis by psychiatrist is CPTSD/ quiet bpd, general anxiety, dissociative disorder. Panic attacks. But yes if anybody sees this and has any tips or suggestions pls let me know.

Awwww your extremely smart smarter than the majority of our psychologists in this country..I understand..never be ashamed..it's not your fault

Thanks for your testimony.

Very interesting experiences... You did a good job presenting the material. Thanks for sharing. Also, I was impressed by your artwork!

Thanks for for video. I don't have psychosis but a few years ago I was laying in bed and after hearing my alarm clock. I remember feeling super tired and forced myself to open my eyes and I saw a white alien creature with huge black eyes standing on the floor staring at me. After fully awaking up from sleep it disappeared and I never had an hallucinations since then

I just want to thank you so much for this video my soon to be wife suffers from psychosis from time to time and ed since we have met she has gotten so much better with both but recently she suffered some non-epilepsy seizures at work and was taken to the ER in an ambulance and one small one that I witnessed previously I knew it was a seizure but she had never had one before so it was surprising and scary this was very educational for me

I feel the anxious energy projecting from her! Does anyone else?

So in the beginning of the year I got diagnosed with unspecified psychosis. I am not. I’m a recovering meth/heroin/fentanyl addict and I was withdrawing without symptoms. But a demon must have posessed me because I was out of my mind and I looked different and felt different. About 5 months later -up until recently I started seeing the face of a devil with eyes and a scrunchy face and horns. I also saw multiple black shadows , sometimes it had a hat on. I have prayed and it won’t go away. I also hear voices and they don’t tell me what to do but more so make a commentary on my life and everything I do. I told the voices to call me private if they were real and gave them my number but they won’t call instead they are childish and annoying and continue to shush one another and watch and listen in on my life. I believe the government pays certain people to stalk people on drugs or with mental disorders to keep them unstable and seeing things. Try to ignore it, pray about it or physically fight the shadows and demons and talk back to them. So far I still hear them.. will update if they go away !!!

Thank you for sharing please stay strong!

I have a tremendous amount of experience and knowledge In these subjects , I’m so glad I’ve found this channel! I would love to talk to you or maybe at least I’ll add some input or some of my experiences in the comments here

What an an amazing story, well done for holding it together!!, you are very brave indeed, perhaps these voice are real and you are seeing into a different realm, the demons/jinn mentioned in 'mythology' feeding off your fear, so dont give them fear, your soul is eternal, there is NOTHING to fear!. Hope you continue feeling better and try speaking out Pslam 23, some like yourself, say it wards them off. "Journeys of a Psychotic Mind" by Jerry Minisky (Dr)

Hey. I am a type 2 narcoleptic and part of my disorder involves chronic sleep paralysis. I have seen hundreds of 'demons' and thousands of sleep paralysis hallucinations in SP episodes. I have no psychosis. I have an other- part and no memory of the 'demons' and 'monsters' in any tangible way - and they were tangible and horrifying beyond my own comprehension. I just wanted you to know you are not alone, I've felt alone my entire life.

❤ YES

I feel I am so delusional that the shadow ppl are ghosts and I can't accept it is a hallucination

Amazing video thanks for sharing...bit of a random question and i understand if you dont answer...did you ever see a shadow being with what looked like a kind of top hat?

Thank you for sharing

what the helll i clicked on this video and at around 5 seconds an earthquake just happened here , wow

i have heard whispering type screams yesterday and im already diagnosed with psychosis

Some of your "delusions" sound like reality to me, and that is scaring me

Nice lamp

There's something talking in sync with you when you talk. Whispering at the exact time you're talking. I can hear it in my headphones. Does anyone else hear this???

I have many friends that admitted they experience hearing and seeing a lot

If that's psychosis, then what's normal? Most people believe in religion but don't read the actual words. The spirit realm may exist, and that thought can be terrifying. You may have been blessed with the ability to see beyond the vail. Many brilliant people say that time is an illusion. I've never had waking hallucinations, but I've had dreams much like what you were saying that were so vivid and real. I had a dream when I was like 8 years old that this door appeared in my room and this white light being walked through it and approached me. I woke up screaming. I can never forget that dream. There are accounts of shadow beings and light beings which radiate this bright white light and look like the silhouette of a person, like the opposite of shadow people who are void of all light. I also had a dream that I witnessed the apocalypse and that dream scared me into going to college. It was terrifying. I still sort of see people as a memory like they may not be here if that actually happens. In the dream I was stuck in deadlocked traffic, cars everywhere, we weren't moving. Then, I saw fire coming up from the ground from far away and heading towards me. My car had a built in flying device for emergencies and I was able to get away before the fire reached me, but I watched as the entire continent burned and black smoke filled the air and blocked out the sun. To this day, I'm checking to see if that flying emergency getaway feature will ever be added to any cars at maybe a high price that only a few can afford. I still think that might actually happen, it was too vivid. More vivid than any other dream. Who knows... I also had a dream that I was sitting outside smoking weed like I used to do, and suddenly my chair lifted up towards the sky at night. I started moving very fast like on a rollercoaster towards this swirling blue and white vortex of light that was a portal, then I was instantly seated in front of this man dressed in an all white glowing robe. His face was blurred but I felt him inspecting me like he could read my mind telepathically, but I couldn't read his. Then I woke up and ran to tell my Dad what happened who was outside at night, and I pointed to where the portal was in the dream, and this bright white flash happened right in that spot like a star lighting up then disappearing. We looked at each other like what the heck. But the fact that I wasn't alone in seeing that tells me that that might have been more than just a dream. I think there's like a portal that can open up in the sky from another dimension, but I understand that sounds crazy so I keep it to myself. I sometimes mention these things on random RU-vid videos but that's about it. I don't want to be seen as crazy. But then again, religion is kinda crazy and lots of people act like they believe even though they never had these sort of spiritual visions.

All in the head trust me when i wanna see them i take a dose of speed and stay up a week

Can I please talk to you please some of us have experience the same things but we know the truth I really need someone to talk to you please I don't have anyone to speak to about this asap please

"Its not there... This isn't happening"

When you see a ladder do you ever try to climb up it? In the meantime I would like to wrap you up in a lovely soft blanket and hug you, and give you stability.

Oh wow...

Same

Google targeted individuals and gangstalking. Also your are awoken to the spiritual realm. There a book call active imagination. .

Evil spirits are real but For this purpose the Son of God (Jesus )was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Read in Luke 8:26-39. Jesus Heals the Gerasene Demoniac. 35 Then people came out to see what had happened, and when they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.

I don't believe that they are hillicinations, I believe that you are really seeing into the spirit realm. Jesus will help

Do u believe in god jesus devil angels etc?

And what ever you do dont talk to them 😂😂