The opposite thing happened with my cousin. She was adopted as a toddler by my father's cousin. She took a dna test and found out that her adopted parents were actually her biological parents. Her father was 16 and her mother was 14 when she was born. They gave her up for adoption during the great depression but then the orphanage had never placed her so two years later when her Dad was 18 and had a good job and her mother was 16 they got married and then found out their daughter was still in the orphanage and since it was during the depression there were a lot of unadopted children so they let almost any couple adopt so they ended up adopting their own child back out of the orphanage and no one was the wiser. The family didn't know because my father's cousin went away for six months to live with a distant relative who lived a few counties over. She learned all this because of the dna test and then as the family genealogist I tracked down the rest of the information from various records and we had contact with some distant cousins who filled in the blanks. Unfortunately her parents had passed away before she found out. She had always thought her biological parents rejected her so she died knowing that they wanted her so badly they went out of their way to retrieve her, lied to officials and put themselves at risk for doing so just to get her back then they raised her in the most loving home possible. We speculate they didn't tell her because in those days it was considered very shameful for children to be born out of wedlock.
anyway, it was almost an open secret because Loretta disappeared for a few months, she had to cancel on a movie because of an undisclosed illness. However, it was not confirmed until after her death when Judy told it.
At age 74 I learned I had a different father. All the parents were deceased, but with Ancestry I found I was not my Daddy's child. No one to ask questions, but finding 2 first cousins who were not related to my mother and daddy, proved the truth. I was luck that my search found a living brother and we have met and accepted each other. I am no longer an only child, and he has a sister he never had. We have nieces and nephews we didn't know about. I'm glad the truth didn't come out while the parents were living. It was easier to handle the truth.
My mom was 75 when we learned last year about her paternity. She was raised by a loving Dad and never suspected. Like you, all the parents were deceased. We were able to identify her biological father. He never married nor had any other children. The one thing we would like to have is a photo of this man. Unfortunately, after a year we still don't know what he looked like. We have seen photos of his siblings (also all deceased). but just don't see the resemblance to my mom. She doesn't look much like her mother either. I'm happy for you that were able to connect with a living brother. That's wonderful.
I found out I was adopted at age 60. Talk about shock. I tell everyone if you want to take a DNA test be prepared to have your life turned upside down. My ethnicity results told me that my parents could not be my biological parents because I had no DNA from where my grandparents were from. My Grandfather migrated to Cuba from Spain in the late 1800s. I have no Spanish DNA at all but I do have DNA from countries my family is not from. I would like to find out if I have siblings or other relatives but no mater what my adoptive family is my family.
Did you have Jewish or gypsy lineage or basque because that could explain not being very Iberian/Spanish also some people in Spain or France have Celtic lineage and show up Irish/GB genetically.
@@grahamparks1645 Exactly! It's also possible that Diana is actually biologically their child and that the info handed down is wrong-- this happens A LOT. There was a lot going on in the world 100+ years ago-- lying about backgrounds was common in order to avoid prejudicial treatment in society.
I do a lot of dna genealogy, what a story. I have tested quite a few family members, there are surprising things we learn. I always tell people that it is possible it could be surprising. One cousin found he was not the father of his first child! A shock. But like he says, She is still my baby. 😊
This is sadly so very common. So many women out there cheating and having children with someone else and keeping that secret to their deathbed. There are also some simply unfortunate mistakes as well, so we should withhold too much judgment of course. I just think it's really unfortunate to do such a thing to a man. We don't get to have certainty that our children are really ours like women do, but there are quite a few women that don't understand how that must feel, or just don't care. I hope that if anything comes of the surge in DNA testing, it's empathy from women for our plight of paternal uncertainty and men demanding DNA testing to determine if the child is theirs and nobody getting upset about that. I personally think it should be a required thing to claim someone as a father on a birth certificate if it's going to come with legal requirements. How does it makes sense not to? Anything else with legal ramifications has the requirement of proving the claim, but somehow fatherhood does not and child support can be collected? That's so immoral.
All the negative idea's that happened to you are not the normal experience from taking a DNA test. With out a test you could have found your family. No all parents are going to behave the way your birth father did, that is his lose. You have not changed in any way, if they could not welcome you in to their family they are the one's who need to take a good look at themselves. It's not the person who is innocent that should be treated this way, as a child we don't pick our family's. Your real father raised you, he loved you and cared about you. Hope the pain from this heals in time.
Great advice about what can come out when you go this route. Make sure your eyes are wide open and that you have forewarned family members that you're going to do this. Be prepared for nothing unknown to lots of new information. Exciting and terrifying at the same time.
Excellent advice. I had the same experience/surprise 1 year ago. Thank you for sharing your story. I find the more I delve into genealogy that life is messy. Expect surprises. Well done video.
I appreciate your advice and your experience. My husband is currently going through something similar. He is adopted and found his first biological relative who happens to be his half brother. We are finally meeting this weekend. His half brother was adopted as well. I hope 🤞 it goes well for both these men.
I've gone with Ancestry, no regrets. Ancestry has the LARGEST database 21 million people. I've had an account since 2011, and my family tree now has almost 2,000 family members! I love finding out my DNA ethnicity mix, especially with the annual updates. It definitely was confirmed especially with the surnames in the tree. You can get all the specials, sales, and discounts for DNA kits usually around holidays.
Is got quite a few shocking bits of information when I did my DNA test in 2017 through Ancestry. Just last year a lady turned up on my DNA that was under my full sister’s name. I checked her family tree and she followed her father’s line. None of her names matched mine and yet the cm markers were so high. I called Ancestry and was told she is my half sister! I went back and checked her tree and her mom’s name rang a bell in my mind. She was engaged to my father before he married my mom. I tried connecting with her for over a year, in every way possible. Nothing. A year later I get an email from her saying her father is her father and she wants nothing to do with me so leave her alone. She would be three years older than me, and her mom died ten years ago. In checking family history, I find out my mom was pregnant when they got married and never said a word to anyone my whole life. My older sister and this half sister are five months apart in age. Now I understand why my grandmother disliked my father my whole life. My parents divorced when I was twelve. Both of my parents have been deceased for years. I also had a cousin email me through Ancestry asking for help finding his birth mother. I knew who it was right off. I have helped two ladies find their birth mothers-kind of by accident, but it has been amazing through it all. I had to write when you said be prepared for what you might find. SO TRUE. Some has been good, some sad. My aunt went to her grave with no one knowing about her little boy she gave up for adoption.. I can’t imagine how hard it was to keep that secret all her 74 years or to my parents who also went to their graves keeping their secret.
I think some companies allow you to choose not to share or connect you with matches. Also when you take the test, you may be ok with finding out information, but you have to also be responsible and care about other family members views and opinions. Just because you are ok with knowing or finding out things, does not mean that your brother or sister or parent is, and doing so you kind of invading their privacy and rights too since what you find out involves everyone. So whatever the case, be considerate in sharing or perhaps asking their views of the matter.
This. I do make an exception (in my personal viewpoint) when critical medical information is involved-- if you find out your aren't related to your "raised in" family, and you need medical information/background from your bio family due to health situations/concerns, I think that's a justifiable exception to reaching out where otherwise you might have been more reticent.
I think it is egotistical to turn that off. Everyone has a right to know who they are and I personally believe that is above any type of privacy concerns.
@@nillyk5671 I agree that a person has the right to know. What I was referring to more specifically is what you do with the information. Some people may share their results on social media for instance. While you are free to do so, you should also be sensitive to other family members.
I personally think everyone needs to know the truth. My mother was illegitimate, my daughter had a different father than my husband...so what! The truth is out there and it is high time we know it. I will never understand people who don't want to know...why??? What do they think will happen if they do find out the truth??? Family members may not embrace this information nor embrace you...so what! Isn't the truth the goal? If you can't handle this information, then perhaps you need to find out why and what is holding you back. Many mysteries have been solved due to DNA...not just in criminal cases but also to create a more accurate family history.
Typically the folks who "don't want to know" are one of two types-- either they truly don't care ("my parents are the people who raised me, full stop"), or they are the type of person who would judge someone else based on whether or not they were "legitimate," so they naturally can't deal with possibly finding out that sort of thing is common vs only happening to "other people."
If you haven’t logged in lately, it will identify Parent 1 and Parent 2. If you identify these, then all your shared matches will matches to Paternal or Maternal. This will help you figure out who you are matching with on your paternal line. If your father is still alive he should also take a test to verify that it is your paternity in question and not his. You might not have German if his paternity is in question. Until you get him to take the test you can’t be sure. If he isn’t alive, then get a sibling to take a test to see if you are 1/2 or full siblings.
Just keep in mind the ethnicity results from these websites like Ancestry are not always accurate. The results can change depending on the number of people who sign up for their database. If you send into 25 different companies for ancestry analysis, you will have 25 different outcome. This is proven. Never buy into the claims from these companies are 99% accurate. They are just trying to sell their product.
It’s not even that today’s national borders don’t tell the whole history of human migration and it only gets some general information right and genealogy fills in the gaps as does a good knowledge of world history
Note, I was 74, all parents involved were deceased. I don't know if my daddy knew the truth when he married her, but I suspect he did, he was such a good man. Always treated me like his daughter, but the wife of my bio father is still living, she said if he had known he had a daughter, he would have been in my life.
To me family is family. You sister is your sis even if you don't know it. But on the flip side you dad/father who raised you is dad. The bio is an sd. Just because you found your bio does not take away from the fact the man who raised you is still dad/father.
nice video,i have a hunch im in the same situation,found 2 nd cousin matches,ive been dissed by one,and the other has gave me a bit of good help in identifying my possible fathers name and was able to look at a womans tree on ancestry and still can figure out,i take it that my father and her parent are 1st cousins,i asked her for some help but i feel she never wanted any more to do with me when i think she realized i was searching for a possible parent. I find a surprising amount of cousins want nothing to do with you on ancestry even though they are on it for family research and have open contact settings,seems bizarre to me and unfriendly and i get the feeling they may want to put the dreaded "stalker" label on u after the 3rd question. So as you say dont expect these people to embrace you. As their only interested in their own life i feel and dont have any capacity or desire i feel to want to help you
Most people DO want to know more family, but sometimes there are people you would not be close to even if you were in the family. Never forget that some people have different personality disorders. They are not well emotionally. This is no reflection on you, it’s JUST THEM. The other commenter said they might not want to share an inheritance...something like that might be possible. Then there is another scenario: I saw the case of a beautiful young lady who could never get the name of her father from her mother. There was something wrong with him mentally/emotionally & he drank & took drugs. The mom didn’t want her daughter to feel bad about herself, because of what kind of person her father was. She had a very good education, job, life, etc. She did eventually find & meet her father & also other family members, who totally accepted her, in spite of her fathers condition...but the father was limited in his abilities, maybe after so many years of abusing his body? So her story was happy & sad, but she found where she came from. You cannot say that the family are one thing or another. That they are doing it for this reason or another until you know. If you keep trying, you will eventually either find someone who will help you, or tell you, or you can go to a library and get assistance from history & ancestry research persons there, (or by phone, due to COVID). Most counties have libraries, history research libraries, or some type of historic repository. People who work in those places usually know how to get info & do research. Ask questions of them & now you can call all over, just the same as next door, so call different libraries & ask questions. So, don’t give up, it’s your father, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW....but you don’t know what he might be like until you meet him. Also, YOU CAN CALL the company who did your test. Additionally, getting a test through another company will give you possibly more info, more connections as not everyone uses the same company. Then there is GEDmatch where you can upload your dna & get matches. This also helps law enforcement to find criminals through family dna matches, & as long as you are not being sought for crimes, you have everything to gain & nothing to lose. More & more people are adding to that data base all the time. So, as you search, just don’t put yourself out there too much, just in case he is one of the types you wouldn’t want to know where you live. Some mothers don’t tell kids because father was a criminal, & some others, who have been incarcerated... be cautious.
It may be that your father is married and they don’t want to be the one who can be held responsible for destroying a marriage. There is someone sho is looking for her father who is a dna match to me. My cousins are probably married and I don’t know where some of them are located. I know their names. She hired a genealogist who wrote to me. I gave names of all of them including my brother’s. There is also another person who is a closer cousin, but he never answered my email. None of us know who he is. After so many dna matches showing up, and so many people receiving surprises, I wouldn’t be shocked if one of my uncles had a kid we’re not aware of. One dna match said that she was not aware that she had Spanish in her. She is clearly 1/2 Puerto Rican. It’s not like she had a mixed grandparent. Her father or mother is Puerto Rican. I didn’t want to ask if she was adopted because 1) it would be rude and 2) she will need to come to terms with the fact that one of her parents isn’t her parent or that she is adopted. On the upside, I have a new cousin and when the pandemic is over, we plan to meet in person. I gave her access to my tree and sent her pictures of my grandmother and great grandmother. We’re on Facebook and she at least knows some of her people for now.
My father had about 60 cousins whom he must have known as he grew up, in a small town and they all lived within twenty miles of one another. He died when I was young and I only met a couple of them when I was growing up. Now that I have worked on my tree,, I have contacted about half of them (who are still alive). Most of them are uninterested and a few are downright hostile, but some of them were quite pleasant and helpful. I am nor searching out friendships but I am glad I made the contact.
what a mess people leave behind when they lie about who they are and where they come from and who they come from. i had my baby at 18yrs old i was unmarried with a catholic mother i never hid anything from my daughter and i am so pleased i did not. being pregnant unmarried in 1983 in England held a lot of shame my parents put me in a catholic mother and baby home. I think all you people in this documentary are beautiful wherever you come from. 🤗🤗💜💜
Ancestry probably has the biggest number of people who have been tested. You can take your Ancestry results and enter them into other databases. Good luck with your search!
I got my result Xmas day. My supposed dad died 12 days before I was born. Now I find even he was not my dad. I was in total shock. How could my mother lie to me for 60 yrs. She should have have said in her final 10. Forgot sake. She expected me to keep leaving my job and running off for Dr appointments this that and the other. While. I love my mum I think she was having a laugh at me . Smug is not the word. I was caught hook line and sinker in her control. Sneaky is not the word. Doublecrossin
I would love to do a DNA test theres a very big possibility i have a sister or brother out there but in the country i live i did not find a DNA test to do we live in Belgium
I have to disagree when it comes to ethnicity through different DNA test. Ancestry was very spot on when it came to my family history because my family tree has been traced back for many generations and it matches very well however, my heritage said I was 22% Italian and there’s absolutely zero Italian in my family tree. So I personally choose ancestry for that reason
@@jappyhoy it could be true. I took the 23andMe test and it showed some Congolese, that surprised me, along with some Native American, which also surprised me. There is a section of the report, at least for 23andMe that tells you when that DNA was introduced into your DNA. For me it was somewhere in the 1700’s to the early 1800’s, which I haven’t researched that far back yet.
My DNA started out to help my daughter, and to maybe answer questions of why my parents treated me the way they did. Sounds strange but I was hoping I was adopted because of the way I was being treated and that would have explained a lot. Well my DNA helped my daughter, and I found out I was not adopted, 🤔 since then I have no clue as to why my parents treated me the way they did, other than there was no love in their hearts.
Mental illness or childhood trauma. Maybe they were treated that way and they were repeating the cycle with you but you broke that cycle. That's not easy. Be very proud of yourself.
I'm glad you could find your father through your DNA test but just an FYI: Women do not carry their paternal DNA information. The paternal info is on the Y chromosome but as women we only have 2 X chromosome. This is to say a man is an XY and a woman is an XX. So to get my father's information I had my full brother take the DNA test. You could get your father's brother or a grandfather to take the test, too. It's amazing that you could find anything regarding your father the way you did. You may find more relatives if you could get a male relative of your father's to take the test.
I had the same thing happen. I had no matches with my last name but knew my father was my father so that wasn’t my first thought. My parents grew up next door to each other and married at 18 and had me at 24 and are still together so it was unlikely my mom cheated on my dad. It took me years to figure out what the reason was by recently I figured out pretty much the whole crazy story by piecing together slightly inaccurate family stories with my dna results. Basically my great grandfather was adopted by his grandma and her husband. DNA matches led me to what my last name should have been!
I watch the programs “Long Lost Families” There are programs from the US and UK. The professional people on the show recommend having DNA tests from more than one DNA company (at least 3)so that you can use all their databases. This is a fascinating show and the process is fascinating. This suggestion is for people who are trying to figure out about unknown relatives ( like the biological parents of an adopted person) or if you have a family mystery ( my mom doesn’t know who her father is- it was a big family secret and they wouldn’t tell her anything). I plan to do DNA testing in the future while my mom is still alive.
So no if the half sister was your full sister then I don't think it would say full sibling. If you test on 23andme it tells you more specifically what the relationship is.
Mid January 2022 I found out that I have a child who was born in 1980. He was born in another country after I was last stationed overseas. Fortunately he was adopted by another American service member. I've often wondered if I had left anyone behind when I left and didn't know it. He knew that he was adopted and last year found out that he was predisposed with an affliction that I have and was wondering if it hereditary and did he pass it on to his child. His DNA searching led him to a second cousin on my mom's side of the family and my half-brother. We've been in touch and he lives 4 states away. I'm a medically retired over-the-road driver and used to run through is area and may have seen him and didn't realize he was my child. He has birth mother's nose, eyes, hair and my head shape, ears, smile and I've noticed a few of my personality traits. His writing style is similar to mine and he has answered some questions the exact same way I would have. I'm saddened about never knowing about him and raising him myself but at the same time I'm ecstatic to have found out.
I took the DNA test through 23&Me, not Ancestry. The test I took only shows your x chromosome which is ONLY your mother's side and mother's ancestry. NONE of your father's ancestry would be showing in the test. To see the German in your line from you father you would need your father or brother to take a separate test becuase they carry the Y chromosome that will show that side of your family.
The person my father and his brother thought was their brother turned out to not be their father. They were both the product of an affair. So our last name is completely incorrect. I think it's really really interesting. I think everyone should know the true story of their familes warts and all.
That suck you didn't get to grow up with your sister. I'm sure many people would love to have a sibling that's the same age as them. Could have graduated high school together. I did find out that my great grandfather real dad was most likely not his biological father.
Do not let this lady's story scare you off. Not everyone's experience is the same. And if you find family members who would want nothing to do with you, that's not your problem. That's in their head. I am so glad that I took a DNA test. I've actually taken tests from 3 different companies specifically to find relatives and family history. I have found an aunt and two sisters who I never knew existed and they didn't know about me, and it's been the coolest thing ever! Thank goodness for DNA tests!
My story; my father was born/raised in Hungary, a cousin of his side and I share a LOT of DNA, which confirms my paternity. Now things get weird; my own DNA came back as English, German, Irish, Eastern Euro/Russian, Norwegian, Scottish then Balkans; in that order. Note I'm extremely Nordic in appearance, tall, pale skin, strawberry blond hair as well as blue eyes; I don't look stereotypically 'Hungarian' at all.
Yeah that's true what you're saying when you go into doing this DNA test you don't know what the outcome might be might not just be you have some black relatives from a long time ago in your family might be something as simple as your dad isn't your dad or your mom's not your mom or you have half-siblings or you are adopted and nobody told you it could be anything and you just find out you know you're the mailman's daughter and you always wonder why everybody else was blond the feeling that you're the only Burnett explains why so yes it couldn't pull a lot of trusock so you have to prepare yourself cuz you never know people Kept Secrets years ago and well not like today they will blast it all over Facebook and Instagram and whatever but back in the day they knew how to be tight-lipped but they never thought so many years later that the truth would come out.
Pretty much the same story with a few exceptions. The father that raised me, abused me severely in every way possible. My biological father had rented a room from that father and my mother and had an affair with her, and I was the product of that affair. At the time I found all of these facts, both my biological father and biological mother were deceased. I tried contacting my newly found half-brother and sister, and my biological father's widow, and none of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and wish I never existed. I also found out that my mother was also a bastard child, just as she had made me. Generations of lies and sins, all came to life, and as it turned out, none of my family members that I grew up with or my biological family want anything to do with me because they don't want to know the truth and prefer to live in denial. I did make contact with a couple new cousins on my biological father's side, which is the positive side of my discovery. Also, I am glad to find out that the monster that raised me was never really my father as I had prayed for my entire life.
Have your own family and love them to the best of your abilities, give them what wasn't given to you. It's inside you! I'm sorry for the way your life has been until now, you deserve better, each one of us deserves better. Those half siblings were raised with hatred in their hearts, you don't need that in your life. Create your own loving family, learn how to handle your childhood trauma, learn how to be a good parent and start your journey. You can heal yourself, it's damn hard but you can do it!
No, I'm not, unfortunately. My husband has a very Irish last name. Spent his entire life thinking himself Irish. Gave him an Ancestry dna test as a gift. Again, sad news. He's not Irish AT ALL. In addition to this, he has no idea who his grandfather is
I have a cousin that took a DNA test period is show that she doesn't have any in in her blood. It is amazing to me that DNA ancestry try to take Indian out of black people blood and at one time why people did not want to have Indian a blood or one Indian around them. Yes I and my cousin are black people
What are you saying? That you're Native and black but the DNA test said you're not native? If so, I have an easy answer why, but if not then I guess I got confused about your comment.
You're not very educated about DNA. No one ever goes into taking a DNA test thinking that their father isn't really their father! Some people do if they've had something in their life question it and DNA can lead to all kinds of questions and possibly a shock like you've had. When you took your DNA test, you took it for the fun of it not knowing he wasn't your father: it was a discovery that you never imagined possible and it is devastating. You never once mentioned questioning mom and dad, so I'm assuming they're deceased? If they're not, I'd imagine it was quite emotional and devastating to them also. But then you tell your audience here that you'd advise taking a DNA test for ethnicity, which btw, is probably the least accurate part of the test because it is a guesstimation based on markers in your DNA compared to sample testing from areas tested. My DNA ethnicity estimate has changed 4 times so far, and drastically since 2016. The absolutely accurate part of the DNA is your matches, those cousins, possible siblings, aunts and uncles because DNA does not lie! And you're telling people they don't have to look at that 'free' part, the matches part? If you're doing a DNA test for the fun of it, no, don't waste your money because ethnicity changes over time. If you're doing a DNA test for genetic genealogy, then its invaluable to the researcher! I'm 20 years into my research and I manage 18 DNA kits, each person tested is different and adds valuable information to fill in my research.
This is her experience and her opinion about what happened with her dna experience so dont be so judgmental and rude to her. I really enjoyed her story.
Some people DO take tests because they think their father isn’t their biological father. Her story also doesn’t reflect how well someone understands DNA testing. He story has nothing to do with understanding. For that matter, your comments come across a bit bizarre to me. Of course, DNA ethnicity changes over time. Most of us understand that at face value. She is telling her story. Your comment is odd.
Except for African Americans where finding genetic ties to Ghana or Nigeria or Senegal is the only way other than tracing white plantation owners and slave auction records and ship manifest records to try and find the ship and country of origin. For African Americans the genetic discovery will yield the only lead they might find.
