MY STILLBIRTH STORY | the impossible choice 

You did what a mother does. You did what was best for your child. My heart aches for your pain.

So heartbreaking. Very sorry for your loss. As a heart mom to a toddler with a very complex CHD, I want to give hope to others. After a series of 4 open heart surgeries, my son is a vibrant, smart, loving, energetic 3 year old. He now has normal oxygen levels and normal circulation. He is expected to live a normal life now. It’s been tough for us as parents, but of course would do anything for him.

Please know, you are still a momma. Sweet Calvin is in heaven thanking you for ending his suffering.

My mom had a baby before me, so my brother but I never met him, who was born with major heart problems and some other problems I can't remember. This was before ultrasounds so they didn't even know anything was wrong until he was born. He had heart surgery at 3 days old and if he had survived it, he was going to have very difficult health problems the rest of his short lifetime. My mom didn't pray for him to survive. She prayed for him to not suffer, whatever outcome that meant. I cant say I know how you feel because I never will. But I will say, having plenty of conversations with her, I personally think you made the right decision. I'm sure it was the hardest one you've ever made and I'm so very sorry for that. I'm so sorry your loss, too. I hope you're doing better now ❤

As a bereavement nurse in Perinatal I believe that every decision is made for each family. Sending hugs to you and your family

You recount this absolutely devastating medical news with great bravery. I’m sorry this happened to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have helped so many loss momma's by sharing your story. In July 2020, my partner and I decided to interrupt a very much wanted pregnancy at 23+5 due to a severe brain defect. It was the most heartbreaking decision and we miss her so incredibly much. I think the role of parents is to make difficult decisions for child, even if that means a lifelong of heartache for them. Since going through this journey, I periodically watch videos like this to feel less alone. My FAVOURITE part is when loss parents talk about the first time they see their babies. I swear their faces light right up, just like yours did when you said how perfect Calvin was. He's incredibly lucky to have strong parents like you. Wishing you the very best, and baby dust xox

My ❤️Is with you! My daughter Lori passed away at age 2 of a brain tumor. It was before social media and there wasn’t much support out there. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s helped me and I’m sure it’s helped others. Hugs to you!❤️

I can't imagine having to go though all of that. You are so brave to share your story.

I pray you have had your rainbow baby since then. God bless you and your husband.

I’m so incredibly sorry 😢. You’re absolutely right that you did the right thing for your family .

I lost five pregnancies between my two children ranging from a 13week through a 5 month loss. You really hit what it is like. the isolation is awful. I wish you luck in the future. big hugs

Very sad story. My sister had a loss of a baby many years ago and I know she still thinks about that baby. You are very brave to tell your story. Take care and God Bless.

My granddaughter was born sleeping at 40 weeks. I know the pain. I admire your decision and think you made the right choice for him. I hope you are doing well.

Your honesty is so moving. I have no idea what I would do but I know moms always always do what is best for their baby. And that is different for everyone Thank you for sharing Calvin and your love for him.

Amy I want to hug you. I'm so very sorry sweetie. You are BRAVE for sharing your story. I am proud of you! There are good things that will happen in your near future. Much love sweetie to you and your family.

Thanks for sharing this! ❤️ You did what you felt was the right thing to do for your baby and I support you for that. ❤️

You are a warrior. You’re a mother who made the best decision for Calvin you could. You’re so brave. You and your husband.

I’m very sorry about what you went through. I know you loved and longed for this baby very much.💜

I'm so sorry I feel your pains, I've lost 8 pregnancies one much further along Pandora ❤️ I'm sending love and light, angel mamas are warriors I wouldn't have gotten by if it wasn't for an angel mom's group I joined, the support was beautiful, I hope life has brought blessings, this life is surely a journey filled with hurt but also blessings, love to you sister

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. You are courageous and I agree with you that the choice you made was the right one for you and your family. Stay strong, all the best to you.

I’m so sorry that happened to you. May God bless you and give you peace. You did the best you could. ♥️

I’m so sorry for your loss it’s so very sad xx be strong and remember that your not at fault be strong and remember to try again because you’re meant to be a mummy xxx lots of love and support for you and your family xxxxxxxxxxx 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌼🌼☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Even tho I didn’t lost my baby I understand your feeling. When they did my anatomical ultrasound the first doctor told me he found a mejor heart defect and that he cannot find the kidneys. They did a bunch of test including an amniocentesis and it came back normal, another suggestion was to terminate the pregnancy as well, I was heartbroken. For some reason I always had a feeling the diagnosis was wrong so I looked for a second opinion. I saw cardiologists and they did confirm a heart defect however it was minor and the most common and it was going to be fixed with surgery. The second doctor ordered an MRI to find the kidneys and thankfully he found them, they were at the right place and nothing wrong with them. My baby was born prematurely and spent some time at the niccu and then had heart surgery at 4 months. Now she is 2 and half years old and even tho we have to be followed very closely by doctors she is thriving. But I would never forget the pain, the trauma and the depression that first anatomical ultrasound caused.

OMG 23.30 when you said you didn't want to meet him, an orb flew past you. He is there with you. So sorry for you loss XX

I am so sorry for your loss - sending love and comfort and if this is any consolation I would have made the same decision.

Oh my heart...sending you and your husband hugs and prayers. We had losses years back, as well. At the time, I couldn’t find much online. Your story is helping so many families. Unless you go through it, the heartache is unimaginable. I subscribed and am now following your story. I’ll be so happy to see you and your husband holding your baby! Thank you for sharing! xx

While I would have done things a little different myself you did what you thought was best for your sweet little one and I admire your honesty and courage to talk about such a sensitive topic to people I’m truly sorry for your loss I can’t imagine what that must feel like I’m sure your little one felt nothing but love from his mother you are so very brave to talk about this with people my condolences 💐 prayers 🙏 and blessings to your family sweetheart much love and virtual hugs coming your way

It says so much about the compassionate person you are, that you considered how the doctor was feeling telling you bad news . You are the first woman I've heard say this. My daughter is a nurse, doing a masters in pallative care, which is why we're watching a variety of videos here on RU-vid . Thank you for sharing your devastating experience, i am so sorry for your loss 💔 wishing you and your husband Cory all the very best for the future. 💓 xx

I cannot imagine your pain and the strength it took you to get through this. I am sorry you felt you had to justify your very personal decision to others. I am so sorry for your loss.

I knw how u feeling.Losing a baby Is not easy.I lost my baby at 03/01/2020.gave birth and her heartbeat stopped.leaving the hospital without a baby itz the worst thing ever.May God be with u our babies are in a better place and yes God is gona bless us with children in due time keep the faith Dear 🙏

There's a channel called 'Still a part of us' all about experiences similar to yours.

You are so very brave.

my daughter friend has half a heart she was 6 month in the hospital but she survive she's 30 years old now she's married and have a baby she has to take like 9 pills a day for her heart

I am really sorry it is very hard because doctors told me my son would not breath or survive he came out breathing i was 24 weeks and he is now 13 sometimes doctors are not right. God bless

So sorry for you loss.

Brave lady 😢

Hi Amy I came across Your story and I am aware that this video is 4 years old . First of all I am very sorry for the loss of Your son and hope You are better now. But, let's be more clear on the terminology and I will explain why. The title of Your video should have been " My 22 week ABORTION story". My reasons for saying this are the following: 1 It sounds that You are a pro choicer and also given that You gave an informed consent to the delivery You should clearly know that it's categorized as an abortion. If that's are Your views than You should be loud and very clear about what exactly You stand for. 2 Not stating clearly what You had in the title can be triggering for people. For example I would not watch Your video since I'm 100 percent pro lifer ( not for religious reasons ) and it can also be a trigger for parents whose children died a natural and unexpected death in utero .And yes. I am aware that Your son would not survive in the outside world , is that it's just the fact that he was able to live inside and he should have had the right to live out his natural life as he would have in case he was considered compatible with life and things would go wrong during or after delivery for instance. In that case he would be protected by law and his life could not have been shortened depending on anyone's wishes. I am glad though that You very clearly respect choices of people who continued their pregnancies and don't devalue them or their children as do many who claim they are P,' but actually only support abortions in part to not feel alone in their decisions. I wish You and Your family the best of luck

I am so sorry I am sure it was hard for you

she had like 3 open heart surgery

At 23:32 an orb goes across your face. 😇 Our son passed at 23 weeks. I see orbs all the time. May God give you the strength to get through this.

The doctors told me that my son will be born with disabilitys but I trusted God and my son was born very normal .The doctors don’t always know .We have to trust God and Virgin Marry.

The right thing to do, is always let God decide. I'm very sorry for your loss.

You give your baby every minute and every hour. It’s not up to you to cause your baby’s death. It’s murder.

Yet JUST ANOTHER ONE OF ‘those’ STORIES, DONT BOTHER ANYONE!