My Wife Is MAD That I 'OUTED' Her Asexuality +UPDATES | Best of r/AITA Reddit Stories 

Those boyfriends/husbands that offered up a drink are real ones. Didn’t tell him he was trashy, didn’t insult him, didn’t even say something like “you shouldn’t have said that”. Instead to my offer to buy him a beer and apologize for not knowing? OP is not an asshole, he was just in a room full of them. Except for those boyfriends and husbands, they aren’t assholes either.

Your wife doesn't value you unless shes thrown under the bus with you. Her friends wont apologize, why are you still in the relationship bro? Personally what happens in my bedroom stays in my bedroom and i only talk about it with the person im with. NOBODY ELSE NEEDS TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON. Its weird and a boundary issue a lot of people have nowadays.

As an Ace woman myself who will never do this to anyone I find the wife disgusting. How she was treating op is unacceptable. I wonder if she even actually loves him? Because it *really* doesn’t sound like it. I hope that it gets better for op. Honestly just figure your sh¡t out *before* you get married so you don’t put that on anyone else. I refuse to be in relationships because there are times I can go 6 months without feeling any urges. That wouldn’t be fair to a romantic partner, unless they’re Ace too, and are genuinely not in that headspace too. So I just don’t date.

OP: “Our marriage is really great.” Then proceeds to spend the next ten minutes describing the complete opposite of that statement.

My wife was also asexual. She felt no sexual attraction to me or anyone nor did she have sexual urges. But she did want to be a mother and so a few years into our marriage we started trying to have kids. We'd had sex a few times before and we both climaxed but she didn't feel any desire to do it more often. But once we started trying to have kids she would get excited to go to the bedroom as soon as I got home from work. Soon she got pregnant and everything changed. She went from mostly disinterested to almost a sex fiend. It was likely hormones but she was way more into it and craved it. Eventually our first child was born and while I had originally been fine with no sex because I loved her, I admit I was worried we would go back to that. Those 9 months of pretty constant sex had brought us alot closes. I didn't want to lose that. We went to a therapist to figure out what would be healthy for us mentaly and our pastor for the spiritual side. My wife said that while her urges had subsided she still wanted to keep the intamacy. That was 10 years ago. We have 5 children now. If you have an asexual partner or if you are asexual the most important thing is for you both to be honest about what you want out of the marriage or relationship.

As an Asexual myself. I would never throw my partner under the bus. To me it's very wrong of the OP's wife to do that.

No, if YOU *can't* go, she SHOULDN'T go. You're her second half so, she should feel unwelcome as well.🤦🏾‍♀️

I would never allow my friends to trash talk my boyfriend, and if he ever became my husband you better believe I’ll throw hands I love my girls and I know they love their partners and I would never hurt their partners feelings unless they were crossing lines In no place am I to tell them off or shame them for their private business. Fucking disgusting The girl is the AH Why? Because none of this would have happened if she didn’t marriage trap him into her sexuality hanging the love they had as his only collar to keep him Lied to her friends over and over and over, talked about fake in bed experiences about him to said friends, let her friends humiliate him over and over, shame him, was given a chance to defend him or switch the story multiple times but chose to hurt him and look good over making him feel comfortable, girl does not deserve a healthy relationship all that bs and he was basically forced to tell them the truth to stop the onslaught against him

"This marriage is over, they just dont know it yet" ahh situation

His marriage is doomed for failure; his wife should’ve kept it real with her friends and stood up for her husband. But ultimately, this guy is deluding himself, he says he loves his wife (good for him) and he understands his wife’s asexuality - yet he opts out of sex because he wants his partner to desire him sexually. It’s a bad joke and there’s going to be so much resentment down the line. He can lie to himself now but it’s going to catch up to him later on. Wish them the best, though.

The husband apologizing for standing up to himself in a situation his wife put him into shows that’s there’s a much bigger problem here than the wife being Asexual. Where is his dignity? Where is his respect for himself? How could a woman respect a man when a man doesn’t even respect himself. I would go as far as to say that the husband is part of the problem. The husband clearly has no issues being the doormat of the relationship thus his wife sees no reason to respect him and put effort into the relationship. I wonder if his wife is truly asexual or rather just that she isn’t attracted to him. I wonder if his wife is ashamed of being asexual or rather she just ashamed of being married to him. The fact that she chose her friends over him and are just gonna exclude him in future events and gatherings leads me to believed the ladder. A relationship of convenience is all that is, nothing more nothing less.

The wife could've said that she simply doesn't like having someone go down on her and defend her husband or at the very least make sure he doesn't look bad around others. But she decided that the opinions of her "friends" and them "defending her" was more important than her husband and his feelings. Also there's just something wrong with people who just openly talk about their private intimate life. It's called private and intimate for a reason, it's supposed to be something exclusive to the wife and husband not the neighbors, that's what makes the experience unique and special.

Long story short, she should have just kept her mouth shut all together. But her throwing you under the bus like that for whatever reason and said the lies she said, if it were me, that would have been a divorce. Forget the sexual aspect, that was just totally disrespectful to lie and then let her friends chew you up even after telling the truth.

The OP is delusional if he thinks that this marriage will last a lifetime. Really really sad. They are fundamentally incompatible. Yes there is more to a relationship than sex, but if it’s important to one partner in a relationship and not the other, to the point where he knows they will never desire him, it won’t work long term. OP will want more, and he deserves that. OP’s wife is selfish to try and keep the relationship after changing a fundamental part of the foundation of the relationship. He will never be truely happy or fulfilled with her and she knows it. They should both seek partners they are compatible with on a fundamental level. They are in their 20’s. I hope they don’t waste too much time trying to make a relationship work that will only make both miserable in the end.

Huh. One of these stories where neither side sounds like a psychopath (unless you count the jackass friends as a side). OP and wife both did unconscionable things but then they apologized and moved past it like adults. Would it have been better if wife didn't lie in a way that hurt OP? Yeah. Is it ever "okay" to out someone without consent? No. But sometimes people make mistakes and move past it.

OP needs to leave. That relationship is not going to last

The fact that the guy won’t be invited to further functions and she will be puts the married at risk. How long before they talk about you behind your back and she will just let it happen or join. She has already proven to give in to peer .i would have long chat about removing those friends based on their actions as a couple. The correct response from your wife to those friends needs to be based on how you treated my husband last time we hang out and post hangout I feel that we no longer can be friends, when you treat him bad you Treat me bad. All the best in the future.

Gods sake just dump her. This is all BS

Most of the people in this comment section are really jumping the gun at best and aphobic at worst, so as someone in the asexual spectrum here is my breakdown of the story. -The title is misleading and I criticize the choice being made for sensationalism. Even if the husband truly believes he outed her as asexual, he really didn't. He never said she was asexual, just said that she didn't engage in certain sexual acts. This was fine. If he had genuinely outed her, that would absolutely be wrong as it could be very dangerous. Aphobia can be severe and ace people have been r*ped because of people thinking they need to be "fixed", along with often constant sexual harassment like "I could change your mind". To repeat, the husband did not out his wife, he just pointed out her lie. (Also, in general, coming out is a very private decision. Whether or not it is dangerous, you shouldn't out someone else ever. Again, he didn't out her. In this case, the wife successfully came out to the friend group and it was fine, so the situation wasn't dangerous. I'm speaking in general terms to emphasize to the comment section that coming out is a very serious matter.) -Again, this is all addressed to the comments: an eye for an eye mentality is a destroyer of relationships. Any hypothetical scenario where the husband outed her as revenge would not have been acceptable - two wrongs do not make a right. -The wife was clearly uncomfortable when she kept saying quietly "It's okay, really". She wanted them to stop but she was too afraid to stand up to them. She wanted to fit in and felt ashamed of being different from them. That self-doubt caused her to backpedal. It's good that she is now seeking therapy for this. -The wife is a victim of peer pressure and mob mentality. If you don't understand how these things can affect a person, please do some research of your own. She is in a toxic friend group, and needs to cut it off. She has begun to work on this already by the end, which is a good thing. -The husband was right to stand up for himself and I'm proud of him. I would like to see him encourage his wife to stand up against BS and toxicity as well. They are on the right track. -Despite what the husband has said about his boundary, it is an act of pure love and appreciation for an asexual person to be happy to have sex with you even if they have no libido. The wife phrased it in a way that made sense to her but was ultimately not the best choice of words, and his phrasing indicates he took it very personally regardless of anything else he's said. I think it would be good for them to discuss this further in counseling so that he can hopefully see it as the gift of love that it would be. -Their relationship is stable and they are already growing from this. The wife has already shown she is trying by distancing herself from a toxic group and by going to couples counseling with him. The husband has no issue with her being asexual, and he loves and accepts her. Her effort in strengthening their relationship and committing to her apology shows how much she loves him too. **TL;DR. This is fine. I wouldn't call either of them assholes, they both have conflicts they are dealing with. They love each other and they are doing their best to make it work. In every relationship there are mistakes and even fights. Persevering through those times and committing to strengthening your bond is what matters.** Also, since I see a lot of aphobia in the comments - as the husband said, asexuality is real and it is not the issue here. He stated that he is fine not receiving sexual favors despite the wife offering them. The issue was her lying, and that is all. Their relationship is fine. You can have a loving romantic relationship without sex. If sex is all you care about in a relationship, that doesn't seem very loving to me anyway. It's just something you do to have fun in a physically intimate way, and ultimately there are other ways to do this. Snuggling and watching movies together is one popular example that is still physically intimate without being sexual. **Find someone who loves you for who you are, sticks with you through difficult times, and wants to see you grow - and put in that effort to grow and, in doing so, show them your love. That you are willing to change for them. That is exactly what the wife did by distancing herself from her friends and the husband communicated with her and steered her away from them. THAT IS LOVE. I see a very happy ending and I wish them all the best.**

The people saying OPs boundary is harmful to asexual people are insane, and also likely to be some of the first ones crucifying guys that want/demand sex even if their partners don’t want it.

Yeah theres more to romance than sex...like defending your partner when people talk shit about them.

You don't have a wife. You have a roommate. If you are not welcome at her friends , then she should not go either. She totally disrespects you all the time.

This has to be bait. First he complains about not having s3x, but then turns into defending A-S3xuali1ty and lecturing Reddit users.

Either she was seriously abused or she doesn't find him attractive and thinks he is the best she can do. It's one of the other. He needs to divorce and move on. There is no reason to be married to an asexual person. You can be friends and not give up your sex life.

She just decided she was Asexual? No testing to make sure everything else is in working order? She shouldn't have thrown you under the bus like that you sound like a great supportive husband and she let them gang up on you to save face whats so bad about being Asexual if thats whats truly what she is thats just what it is right? 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think either of these two are assholes. They’re both clearly trying to deal with a difficult situation. I’d say the assholes are the wife’s friends. And given that the wife in this story was afraid for them to know that she is asexual, I feel like she knows on some level that they are assholes. But when you are attached to someone, even if they’re bad for you, it’s hard to let go. I have a feeling OP’s wife just didn’t want to jeopardise her friendships and hoped her husband would be able to help. That’s my personal defence for her.

Honestly she could've lied and said he was amazing instead of putting him down... Like wtf? It only became a problem because she showed him in a negative light. It's honestly weird how she handled it and that he didn't doubt it some more. If she was insecure because of her asexuality she could've not talked about their sex life and just said she'd like to keep it private or just put them both in a positive light. It's not like her and her friends talk exclusively about sex(if they do that'd be weird).

You do you bub. But if there's little to no sex in the relationship, you don't have a wife, you have a roommate. I agree there's more to a marriage than sex, however it's still a necessary part of the relationship.

What the hell is wrong with the comments? Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of sex being such make or break part of marriage? What is this obsession with sex in general. The OP clearly said it’s not an issue for him and they have even seen counseling over it just in case. That’s not the question he’s asking. The assumptions everyone is making about him and his wife aren’t just hoops. They’re a damn monkey gym.

As an asexual, yeah nah that's weird and it's sad that people are so weird about it. Like, I'm still one of the people that make A LOT of raunchy jokes and my nickname in my DnD group is the horny queen. But everyone understands that that's because it's in the game, it's not real and has nothing to do with how I feel about actual people. And I've also been very open about being asexual because I see no reason to hide it. I'm who I have always been, I just have a word for it now.

Clearly loves his wife and accepts she asexual. Im not sure i would have outed her, but i understand why he feel trapped. She should have said something to shut her friends up. The other thing i get really tired of is every woman seems to have these harpies around them which are the worst possible friends i can imagine. The fact that any of them said anything about trying to get his wife to leave him is the gross kind of crap that paints women as awful and petty human beings. I dont feel that a lot of women are, but ive certainly met plenty enough that could change my mind

As someone who's aromantic and more likely than not asexual, it's kinda shitty she lied. I understand being scared of how friends react, but blatantly lying and letting your friends berate your partner is just sucky. Glad they got through it though. Also, some people view sex as WAY more important in a romantic relationship than it should be. It's ridiculous how some people will leave a relationship when they don't have "enough" of it. If you can leave someone for that, did you ever really love them in the first place, or did you just love their body? But maybe that's just my opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HE NEEDS TO LEAVE THE WIFE AND FIND SOMEONE WHO SLEEPS WITH HIM

Reddit comments: Try not to have the most black-and-white take on the story imaginable challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

Just her friends are grounds for divorce

I don't think he's wrong at all. I understand being in the closet, not everyone is ready to come out, and while normally I think you should figure your sexuality out before getting into a committed relationship with another person to avoid treating them like a dirty secret, she didn’t even know she was asexual until after they've already been together for quite some time. So she gets a pass. But the issue I have with her is the specific lies she told. She made him look bad when she didn't need to. She was already making up scandalous tales of their "thrilling xxx life!" So one more wouldn't have killed her, especially when telling the truth made him look like a bad person. She then immediately followed up the first lie with an even worse lie, claiming that they were having "marital problems" and thinking of leaving him to cover for herself when the reality of the situation was that they had a healthy and wonderful relationship with each other until she opened her mouth. It was wholly unnecessary, and the only way he was going to put the rumors she created to rest was if he told the truth.

OP is the author of his own demise.

Remember fellas: never marry. Stay single, stay wealthy, stay sane, stay strong. Never give up your wealth and freedom for a piece of occasional rent to own ass.

You are both the aholes period. And going through these comments I'm really glad non of them is my partner. A relationship means nothing when everything is always easy, the true value of a relationship or friendship comes to show when things go rough. But good to know you can't count on people

It seems, with the way she handled that situation, that she doesn't respect her Husband's sacrifice. He chose to stay with her even though she doesn't fulfill him. Not only does she not respect that, she literally lays the blame for the situation at his feet. The asexuality is besides the point. That lack of respect is the main issue.

Why would you ever apologize for outing her on this?

Not his fault she's insecure and didn't speak up, NTA.

NTAH she thew him under the bus and made him look like a crappy person to everyone she could. It's only fair that he exposes the truth

Jesus Christ, what a miserable relationship.

My god, marriage is just a god awful idea😂😂😂

Shes been cheating the entire time.

I can’t imagine a situation where I would discuss our partners with friends, much less sex. It's too personal. Wtf is wrong with OP

Personally I’m hung up on the wife throwing OP under the bus. So she was perfectly fine with lying, making OP out to be a selfish lover, and once given an opportunity to come clean, she doesn’t. What else did she expect OP to do? Frankly if SHE is comfortable enough talking about her make belief bedroom activities with 9 other people, then it’s fine for OP to talk about HIS side of the bedroom activities. Fair is fair. As he said, he endured it for a while which the wife should have shut down. If she won’t defend him, he has every right to defend himself.

His wife needs to work out her insecurities and not disrespect him like that. Also, some trifling friends she has.

So she basically said: "Grin and bear it because they're my friends." And I would've said: "Cool, grin and bear this divorce."

Lol, I love how the guys immediately man-up and apologize while the women double down with "HoW dArE yOu!!!" and let OP know they intentionally plan to ruin his relationship. Toxic AF

Being asexual and letting someone drag your husband are two separate things. Not cool. I would never! Why? Because I would love my partner! She's got more issues I think. Her therapist would rake her over the coals. Time to get back on the couch and make an apology to him.

as an asexual person... its really not hard or scary to tell your friends you don't have sex XD or maybe I just pick good people to be friends with.

Wife is toxic. She's ashamed of her sexuality so she lies and let's others berate her husband just so she can keep up appearances then tells him he should just tolerate it because they're her friends and not his. If you would never do that to your significant other then you shouldn't be with someone who would do that to you.

This guy seems like he is trying to convince himself that all this is ok.

Sorry, but this dude is a doormat. I know its very wrong to say that and i do feel very sorry for this couple. But this story made me despise her and disappointed of him. He doesnt stand up for himself at all. He apologized more than any body else. Eventhough he didnt out her. He never said shes asexual, so its not an outing. He just corrected her lie

This is just bizzare. From the way she discovered her lack of sexuality that late, to her allowing derogatory comments thrown at him, and not cutting of off those friends who refused to apologized? That is not normal

Shes the asshole.. He should dump her as she clearly cares more about her reputation than about her husband. Shes expecting him to respect her boundaries but has no problem lying about him and disrespecting him in a room full of people. This relationship will never work... not because of the lack of sex...but because of the lack of respect and honesty from the wife... she was quite happy to lie about her partner... totally disregard his feelings.. and pushed him under the bus... just so she could impress her friends.

Just a PSA guys, the whole sex life dies after a while is bullshit. Ive been with my wife well over a decade, we have 3 kids and I work a lot. We still have a good sex life, these women are bored of their partners, it doesnt have to happen to you!

The friends are a reason why men dont open up to women

Okay the girls were mean yes but the boys were real homies

Why is a group of people talking and sharing their personal s*x experiences and stories? That's weird af and not normal in my opinion. Yes, you can share a few things with your closest friebds, but a room full of both genders? Also one can generally talk about what they like and don't like. You don't have to give out the most intimate details of your life. Also the fact that women between each other talk so openly about their intimate life and we are here blaming men and being mad at them when they do that.

The outing is entirely on her. She hid it by lying about it, making OP the villain, and not stepping up to correct and stop it. You lose any moral high ground at that point

The asexuality is obviously a problem, but beside the point here. When it came down to choosing defending you or siding with her friends attacking you, she chose her friends. She has no compulsion to defend her husband. _That's_ the problem.

It amazes me the wife's first response is to try manipulate him into thinking she has it worse, she is the asexual one, not him. She should be honest about it because general people don't actually care, they'd be more curious more than anything. He should leave her if she continues down this path of lies and manipulation.

I understand the wife just newly discovered she is asexual but thats no excuse to make someone who cares deeply about you out to be a inconsiderate and selfish person. Especially if they have been very supportive. Honestly how is this gonna work. Obviously physical intimacy with the person he loves is important to him and he doesn't wish to be treated like a chore so over time they will drift apart. She should go and find an asexual partner and set him free. Or well he should leave her.

"My marriage is not over." It is, the poor bastard just doesn't know it yet.

I like how all the men involved are so chill, and the OP is a great dude ngl. All the wives involved are the problem here, it's funny at this point lol

Wild how the husbands And the poly couple understood how shit that was completely but the quilt club could not.

You need to divorce the wife and dump all of those friends. This whole situation is depressing, gross and wrong.

I would say op not the AH but but the friends seem pretty toxic... I mean I understand where they're coming from but it just seems weird how angry they got and never apologized for it...I mean op should have said it in a different way like.."oh we don't really do oral s** as much..." Or "we do do it sometimes it's just that we don't like to do it alot..." And not just straight-up admitted that the wife is asexual if she's very uncomfortable by telling people...

I would be really concerned about who her friends are

I'm ace and being ace doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. She was clearly in the wrong, she's letting her friends drag him down over something he didn't have control over. If those friends were true friends she should've just put up boundaries on their conversation to not make the other partner feel uncomfortable. I don't even think she should've even joined this conversation if she didn't have anything to say. But to all the commenters invalidating her sexuality, I think that's immature and going against the message op was trying to spread. That this problem was by her own actions not by her sexuality

When no one else is being honest, it's time to show them how it's done, especially when it's all at your expense. No one deserves to be humiliated simply to save someone elses face when they're too afraid to take the mask off. Her friends are out to lunch, which is typical and they should be ignored and avoided at all costs. Personally, I would be filing for divorce.

I feel that is their personal life. Why on Earth would you share ANYTHING with mere strangers (whom those friends actually are).

I was never sexual like my friends growing up. Even when I had girlfriends and eventually a wife, I just considered it low libido. After my inevitable divorce, I finally feel free of the pressure of having sex. None of my friends or co-workers understand me. They consider having sex as important as breathing, I don't, and I've never been happier.

“Wife didn’t bait and switch me for a ring”, -op Ya she did

The fact that the friends are like I will get her to break up with them The boyfriends OMG I didn’t know let me get you a beer

Imagine thinking it's fine for the husband to know that the people your wife hang out with actually hates you, and worse, hate you for things you didn't do.

Asexuality aside. You don’t humiliate your partner like that, no matter the topic, no matter the people. No backbone that lady.

It’s incredibly shitty to sit there and let your friends talk trash about your wife or husband like that. He wouldn’t have felt backed into a corner like he needed to explain himself if she’d stepped in and said that things weren’t like that. I feel for the wife in that it sucks to get outed like that, it sucks a lot, but it could have been avoided by sticking up for her partner against her group of incredibly nasty and invasive friends.

He’s a fool for apologizing and he needs to divorce her

There’s nothing wrong with being asexual but you cannot force your partner to be a celibate. You cannot tie him down in a relationship not satisfying his needs especially if you decided to become asexual after marriage. If you are going to become asexual than either be single or be asexual towards another asexual. Don’t trick a man into marrying you and than decide to be asexual.

"Don't tell no lies bout me, and I won't tell no truths bout you" type energy

i wouldve told my friends. and since i am asexual, i have, and i understand how horrid it is to be outed when you arent ready but legit none of this wouldve happened if she had shut it down before he was verbally assaulted by her so-called friends. furtheron, i will explain. libido is desire for sex. sexuality is who you are sexually attracted to. romantic attraction is who you are romantically attracted to. people who experience sexual and/or romantic attraction use who they are attracted to and seek out romantic and/or sexual relations with them.

For your benefit maybe have an open marriage on your side like a friends with benefit because you know with your wife is doing its kind of f***** up

I’m also ace and single I doubt I’ll have a relationship I could also be aromatic to but idk yet I have autism so that could be why I find relationships hard same with friendships

Asexual people saying that not making asexual people have sex is harmful. WHAT?!?!

This guy is a doormat and very clearly not ok with the current state of the relationship. You can love someone and still not be a good fit due to stuff like this.

I tend to believe if someone doesn’t take the heat with you they don’t really care about you. If she won’t even defend you from being berated by friends what WILL she defend you from?

Yeah its not selfish, its time to probably find someone who wants you.

It sounds like her friends are perfectly accepting of it, and she’s the only one who’s embarrassed about it.

Leave her. This is a crazy red flag and he's making all justifications in the world for it. It's not about the sex, it's about how she would drink him through the mud like that and allow her friends to say those things to him. No no no no no

So I hope people realize it's not normal to talk about your sex life in a room of people especially of the opposite gender lol. I've had coworkers ask me and I shut that down so fast, don't ask people about their sex life, it's weird and the last thing you should be curious about.

Like it’s one thing to like make up stories but throwing your partner under the bus is not ok

I am asexual and while I didn’t know that term I was honest to my husband from the start. I told him as we dated for longer and got more serious before we married or even lived together, “I might never want sex are you ok with that?” And I’m always a straight shooter and had so many tell me sex is required and resigned myself to rejection but wanted to be honest. He still wished to be with me despite that. And honestly while the wife likely just didn’t know herself yet her husband was accepting she sure as hell shouldn’t have let him suffer like that. Her husband still adjusting and calling it maintenance is just cold and worse letting her friends drag her husband! Like that is the man you claim to love! If you’re ashamed to tell your friends you’re asexual to your friends you should ask yourself why. Also you LIVE with your husband, what about his feelings? I'm glad they are going to couple counseling they definitely need to sort things out.

Asking your husband to back you up when you're lying to your friends is one thing - I'm sure most of us could relate to that. Throwing him under the bus because you don't know how to have a conversation with the people you're supposed to be able to trust is just... pathetic. Yes, eye for an eye is petty but in the words of Agent Jay; Don't start nothing, it won't be nothing.

This hits close to me cause I remember coming out as asexual to my ex, and the first thing he asked was “ will we still have sex?” Right then I realized he wasn’t the one and shortly after he became distant with me I still feel bad for breaking up with him but I realized that I was never going to be enough for him

I am aroace. I have never in my life experienced romantic or sexual attraction. Nor do i believe i ever will. Frankly, I don't need it. The wife is the AH here. I understand where she's coming from. I do. In middle school I often felt like i was broken because I did not experience or partake in sexual activity like my friends. This woman is alone. She does not have good friends and is feeling pressured by them to not be asexual. I know the types. They're extremely judgemental and reccomend all sorts of drugs and therapies rather than accepting that asexuality is not a disease to be cured. The husband needs to understand that he will never have what he wants. I gave up on relationships long ago for that very reason. I do not want intimacy. Ever. No amount of persistence or perfection will change that fact. I was born this way. It is incredibly difficult for an allosexual(someone not asexual) person to be with an asexual. Someone has to compromise their comfort zone. It sounds like the wife is uninterested, but not averse. However, he needs to get over his fantasies. He will grow to hate his wife for the things she doesnt want to do. It would be within his rights to leave over this. I understand sex is imporant for these people. The wife is trying to make herself into someone she is not. And she needs to understand that this is who she is. She is not going to change magically. She needs to wake up. It is incredibly unfair for her to do this to her husband. And it is unfair of the husband to not address these issues with his wife. I would not be surprised if they split up. This is some highschool level bull imo.

I don't understand how people are so open with other people about their sex lives.