I would literally buy the ring and make him a stay at home dad. I would never allow this man to worry about money or anything other than his family ever again.
It's not just insecurity. It's ingrained secret women's business and men cannot know anything about a woman even if it's wife or daugher. Also to have restraint and say all of that in earshot of the sister is the worst part. How can OP be that is that old and have other female friends and still automatically think there was something untoward going on? In one breath it's he raised them and was effectively the parent and the next he’s just a brother and creppy. I know most offenses are likely to be commited by members She needs to go to therapy or he needs a restraining order. There is no world where you effectively call someone a sex offender because someone has a different response to a normal part of human existence and they take you back.
OP’s boyfriend in the period story is a good man, him knowing a lot about periods is not weird. Even my little brother knows about periods and what women go through because he was around me and my sister, he would bring us pads and tell us what foods to avoid. My sister and me wouldn’t hide the fact that we were on our periods from him so he ended up obtaining knowledge on periods. I don’t see why op would find her boyfriend weird.
She seems to miss the fact that man knows how periods work=man knows how his sister's periods work. She wants him ignorant on the reproductive system apparently. Just wait until his sister gets pregnant and he knows how the baby was made...
Division of labor is important. Part of that necessary labor is earning money for the family AND taking care of the kids/household. When my husband comes home from work, we work together to get to the “finish line” of bedtime so that we can both have relaxation time. That is how things look in our household while we have young kids to make us both feel supported in our roles.
Matthew 7:23 "And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." A literal quote of Jesus pretty much saying "You're dead to me." The context of this quote from the bible is Jesus talking about who and who won't be in heaven (In the previous verse, there's further elaboration he's talking about specific people that this applies to)
On the period story - I know that in Germany boys even carry pads for in case a girl they know need it. They are taught about periods - not scared and are very supportive.. The girl from the story, if she's real, needs help with her mental help
I definitely think America specifically needs to be better about normalizing periods and not have the attitude that it should be hush hush when it's a normal body function.
One of my best friends lives together with his boyfriend His boyfriend is a single child and his parents are very conservative and life in another country My friend has only brothers and his mom had a hysterectomy after the forth son. And those two guys have different pads and tampons if a guest needs them!!! Even e special bin… Like ?!?? As a gay couple they wouldn’t be expected to do that ever … but they still care this much for their female friends! Even for our German standards that’s pretty great
Being from Germany I never heard about boys carrying pads. It's true that we have a good education system covering those topics pretty early in life. However, if any girl was out of pads she'd probably be more successful asking the other girls if they had any rather than asking random boys. If one was very considerate he could maybe have some at home. Especially if he has female guests on a regular basis. But I've never heard about anyone having them at school or work. They would get pretty beat up long before you need them. I've not needed any in more than four decades.
@@brag0001 that's a good perspective and it makes sense. Me, as a female, i have a pad with me at all times - but i never use it and the packaging is pretty beat up as well. It would be strange for a boy to carry a pad and never in his life ever have to use it
@@bombdotcom2168 the worst insinuation, the sexualisation of their relationship when this was simple support in period care, a matter of healthcare for those who bleed
The Man that raised his siblings is better off without op for sure she’s dumb lol 😂 like he is their parent she even acknowledged that in the first part of her post… he was doing everything right to be a support to his kids yes they are biologically his siblings but, he’s raising them which makes him their parent… and his siblings are lucky to have him step up like that honestly so sweet and wholesome, hopefully he finds a partner that’s as mature as him someday!
I have older brothers and am the only girl. My brothers will buy my personal items till this day. If my middle brother is in a store and he is shopping for his wife and sees items on sale he would call me and ask me if I want any. When I was a teenager they both where very supportative when I was on period.
Second Story (Boyfriend who's been raising his siblings, OP thinks he's disgusting). I'd heard that one before, and knew she was misspelling "boyfriend" after the first part. (Missing the 'X')
I still remember the first one I ever had, looool.... Everybody talks about morning wood or nightly emissions... Nobody talks about orgasmreams girls can get from puberty onwards
40:08 this girlfriend is a red flag!! He’s clearly the only parent for his sister who else is supposed to teach her? I would have asked her ass to leave too!
The brother who raised the kids is THE fragrant fellow of all times. Saying she's dead to him is his way to not rant and really hurt her as much as she hurt him without cursing... Fragrant fragrant fellow
If she doesn't want him, I'll take him! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍kids! Edit: I got a mom who is eager for a promotion to grandma and 3 grandma's who would love to be great grandma's again! Extended family included!!! I'm serious. My own step dad wouldn't even go down the personal hygiene aisle. A real man respects a woman (or girl/young lady) enough to buy her the products she needs, and give comfort and support when necessary. He is even able to coach and support a little girl's transition into a young lady. Especially when the first time can be terrifying! This MAN makes me wanna swoon! 😍
100%!! The girl he was dating is twisted and not a lady supporting other ladies because that would be including men in the conversation. Girls have fathers too!
I heard a youtube short recently that was basically the opposite of this story. Op had a boyfriend and he was home with her daughter while she was at work. Her daughter got her first period so he walked her through cleaning up, told her to put TP in her underwear and took her to the store to by her supplies. He then gave her a talk about what was happening, reassured her she was ok and even bought her chocolate and ice cream. OP cried because she realized what a great guy he was. OP of this story really screwed up and lost her relationship forever.
Period story: she destroyed what the brother/ dad was trying to build. A safe environment for his sister to experience something natural without shame. She put shame into her and I wouldn’t be able to forgive someone for that.
You bring up a really good point. The girlfriend, someone who could have possibly become a mother figure to this girl, broke such a paramount level of trust and progress that the brother had built. I would be absolutely livid.
My husband explained about period to my daughter as I’m away for work. He has 6 sisters 😂 u bet I believe he did a good job explaining it while also stole some of my pads and saying I’ll buy u more ❤
The GF being disgusted by her BF for knowing what is going on in a woman's body is so sad. Everyone should know. It's affecting everyone because yes biological male born people don't get their period but guess who gets them. Their mothers, their sisters, their classmates, their partner and their friends. Knowing what is going on and to have an understanding, being able to help or get the right products/care is important. I have a friend who loses her coincidence and will just drop in the middle of the sidewalk when she starts her period. (Pain and other factors) Imagine our friend group didn't knew it had to do with her period. I'm so sad that this is such a tabu topic for so many people. It shouldn't be. It's something natural, and it isn't disgusting. The more we talk about it the better. With education about "tabu topics" we can stop things like NASA sending 100 tampons with a woman to space for 6 days because they didn't know how many she might need.
17:09 This is a main reason why I babysit. To let moms & dads get back out there without worrying about their kids as much as normal. It warms my hearts knowing my job plays a role in helping couples regain togetherness.
My husband grew up with 2 sisters. I was honestly shocked that periods didn't freak him out and that he even knows exactly what pads I use. He'll even pick them up for me. Growing up, I was taught that boys don't need to know anything or want to. But I'm honestly am so happy that he'll talk about it with no problems 😊
My dad had 5 sisters and so he knew all about that stuff growing up. I was too nervous to talk to him about it until literally last year because my mom had convinced me periods were inappropriate to talk about with literally anyone, man or woman. When I finally did talk to him about it he just made a joke and went to buy me some tampons so I didn't feel so awkward about it. That's how every man should be.
Period story: the "You're dead to me" was not a threat or bad wording. It was an emphatic statement. He will never talk to her again and absolutely shouldnt.
I'm a single parent, chores were a major sore spot for our relationship, chore chart saved me. After my divorce, depression got me, chore chart. My biggest thing was changing it up. We had fast food last night so no dishes so I'll sweep instead, ect. Biggest thing COMMUNICATION!!!
If the sister had been closer to the gf maybe she would have gone to her but obviously they're not that close to her. It's awesome, that as their parent, that he knows this stuff. He's amazing. Whoever he does end up with is really lucky.
That period story is so wild! I know some men that refuse to even touch a box of tampons, as in they won’t buy them at the store for their girl. Boys should be educated and that’s man is primed to be an amazing girl dad because he understands it’s a natural body function that is different for every woman. It makes him a good partner too. All periods are not created equal. My bf grew up with his mom having very light, hardly ever painful cycles. His little sister reaps the same benefit of having light, hardly noticeable periods. He had an ex girlfriend that had some cramping but relatively easy as well. I, on the other hand, tend to feel like death the entire time. Nothing helps except keeping a hot heating pad on my stomach 24/7. Sometimes I can’t even fully stand upright or I’ll be walking and have this crazy stabbing pain that I double over and have to stop whatever I’m doing. At first, he thought I was being dramatic since his experience has never been what he sees with me, but every month for the past 1.5 years, it’s been the exact same thing and now he gets it and is undeniably sweet and loving toward me when I’m dealing.
Period facts: when our son was born my wife wasn’t convinced she was in labor. When we got to the hospital and were told she was 7 cm dilated, she said her monthly cramps were way worse.
I felt similar. BUT .. well my periods were as painful but not as constant they would go in waves a birth was just continually uphill. I only got an epidural because of the marathon of it. I was getting tired quickly. But I'm really glad I did because the part when the bolling ball scrapes against the pelvis yikes!
Omg I shared the period story in the okop reddit thread a couple days ago! I didn't expect them to actually see it. Why am I so excited right now? 🤣 That story is wild.
Telling someone you're dead to me is not an insult. Its infoming them of the standing of the relationship. It is completely different from wishing death on a person. You could say we're over. But that implies we could still b friends. Can't be friends, cordial neighbors. Dead to me is even if I pass you in the street I will not acknowledge your existence. If anything he did her a favor by telling her to her face.
I don't think there's anything wrong with telling someone they are dead to you. For all intents and purposes, it means the person is not truly dead, but from the perspective of the speaker, the person is gone. Unreachable. No contact can be had. They are no longer in your life. The fact that they are no longer in your life will hurt you for a while, because you loved them when they were alive. But now you have to move forward. Saying someone is dead to you is the same as saying "there's no coming back from this." In my opinion.
Period story: Honestly, the bro knowing so much about periods is a freaking blessing! Hell, If I was OP and wasn't disgusted at it, marry them on the spot! Men normally get hissed at for not knowing how a women's body works. but OP...you fk'd up. Honestly, 16 yr old slapping OP, well done. I ain't mad at that at all. The fact the 12 yr old was doubting, broke my fking heart though. Glad the 16 yr old was able to calm her down and clear things up. Yeah bro had every right to tell OP that she is dead to him. Throw OP in the trash. Brothers knowing about their sister's periods isn't weird at all, just means they have understanding for the future.
So many men don't undertand periods ... so the boyfirned helping his sister is amazing. I remember my dad calling me a "pig girl" becuase I got blood on my clothes and I was scared... mum signed me up for a class at the doctor's office rather than talk to me herself... it was a weird and uncomfortable time in my life.
OP in the second story is definitely not a person to trust and it's for the best that the boyfriend tells the gf what happened because OP still texting the bestfriends bf after that is a big red flag and she needs to take the hint. If she persists on this then the bestfriend and bf need to drop her.
I agree. He needs to inform his gf about her kissing him “before” it gets tossed out in some kind of argument in the future between his gf and this girl! Then his gf is going to turn on him for keeping that secret and her thinking he was into the girl and it ruins their relationship.
The brother raising his siblings, where he at?! There are 4 spots available at my family dinner table! I got mom who eagerly wants a promotion to Grandma and several Grandma's who would enjoy adding more Great Grandchildren!!! My own stepfather wouldn't even walk down the personal hygiene aisle 😂
35:07 the state provides monthly stipends, food stamps, childcare, and sometimes housing vouchers for foster/adopted children and he has 3. The money isn’t enough to get rich by any means but it definitely helps. My grandma and some aunts were foster parents and I have several adopted cousins.
That guy is amazing with how he treats his sister. My mum had many medical issues that caused her periods to be super super heavy (would fill a super pad in a few hours). When mum found out she may have overflowed, my brother was close by. He was in his early teens at the time. He went to check my mum's bed and came back and reassured her.
The brother turned Dad story warmed my heart so much that any man let alone a young father figure would be such a man! The world needs more men like this! I pray him and the kiddos are out there flourishing❤
As someone who was bullied by their brother over my period if it ever came up that brother is a saint and is SO much better than OP and deserves a literal queen
Why does is make sooooo much sense that Sam, and Sophia's father started the talk out saying, "when two spiritual beings..."?? ETA: yes we have orgasm dreams. This is the best John, Sam, and Riley ep we have had in a while. I REALLY needed to laugh, too.
The mom story... My husband works tons and helps tons. In aware of this. He works away but when hes home he does laundry, cooks, cleans, mows. I admit i have always been bad w house chores. Hes complained but even though he doesnt work at home he does things like throws laundry in front of the hamper, puts bathroom garbage on top of the can instead of in it, etc. I had a talk with how i hate to clean and those little things being fixed can help me. I also try to make the most of my two daycare days and im trying to do drop off, lunch or a movie for myself, then go home to do work. Im still behind but..schedule. my husband also expects a dif level of clean than me but isnt clean himself lol i understand this couple but we dont fight about it really
The first story is simple. They need to have a conversation about what is expected of each other. They both seem to be overwhelmed in general. I’m glad they sat down and had the talk to resolve their issues. Good for them.
That first story reminds me of my childhood. Growing up, my dad worked all day and came home just for my mom do dump all of the work she didn't do throughout the day onto him. As I got older, that responsibility was dumped onto me and that ranged from cleaning to childcare. It especially made me upset hearing the part where OP said that his wife isn't even home most of the time he's working because it was so similar to my own situation. OP said he felt she wasn't holding up her end of the bargain by not watching the kids while he worked, and although sure it would make sense to clarify that, I feel like it should be pretty obvious you should be at the very least taking care of the kids when the other parent isn't able to pay attention to them. Childcare isn't the only part of parenting though, and the fact that the wife doesn't even bother to clean at least a little and leaves it up to OP only isn't fair. They should both contribute, but she isn't contributing at all. Her saying "I'm your wife not your mother" every time he asks her to do more than the bare minimum is such a ridiculous cop out. Like, yes, she isn't OP's mother, but she is still the mother to what sounds like multiple children who she does need to take care of and clean up after. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but OP needs to have a conversation with his wife and set clear expectations for them both when it comes to the household and their parenting because if neither of them are watching the kids and neither of them are cleaning things clearly aren't going well. Also 51:19 in the comment from John asking if Riley just wants to hear Jesus say "You're dead to me" in this context (Story about the OP's boyfriend rightfully teaching a teenage girl in his care about periods) "And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." Matthew 7:23. That's the closest I could find at least to that but I'd say that fits here.
"Turn the other cheek" is actually an incredibly clever passive aggressive action during that time period, because under Roman law a master could slap a slave once on the cheek as a way to reprimand, but to do so twice would grant the slave freedom. ie it would be a big social "F You" to turn the other cheek
I feel bad for OP and the kids because it doesn't sound like the mom likes to spend time with them. Childcare is hard, but she seems to view any time with the kids as a chore.
Not just that, are there any kids at home? Didn’t sound like it. Sounds like they are all in school. So she doesn’t « take care » of the kids all day. She’s gone all day doing whatever it is she does then refuses to do anything when he’s off work? Sounds weird to me
In regards to the story about the brother raising his younger siblings…my parents sat me down in front of a PBS special explaining where babies come from…at 7 years old 😂
As soon as I hear a parent say they are “helping” with the kids and housework I cringe. It insinuates it all her responsibility and he’s being so gracious to pitch in.
@@kellharris2491clearly that’s not true. Coming from a mom of 3 who works a (physical labor) full time job, I completely understand why he was feeling the way he was and he was seeking advice. Fortunately, they have a healthy relationship and were both able to communicate their feelings and come up with a plan.
8:59 what does his wife do? He’s working all day, but he gets them up in the morning makes breakfast takes them to school most days of the week. And then when he comes home, he takes over full parenting duty of the kids. The house isn’t clean when the kids are not home and she would have time to rest and also clean the house. The kids are out of the house three days a week I think they said. It would take less than one of those days to clean up the house if you maintain it. I understand getting tired, but this just sounds like she is checked out of being a mother and a wife.
I grew up in an environment where my mom had entirely checked out of a parental role by the time I turned 7. I had to step in while my dad was at work because she wouldn't even take care of my brother. Yes, childcare is tiring and keeping up a household is hard but she signed up for that kind of work when she became a parent. It's possible to teach the kids to clean up after themselves, or give them chores to lighten the load, but when people become parents ultimately they're the adults and they're in charge of keeping that space clean.
*Women don't have a higher pain threshold.* They have a higher tolerance of distension of the cervix which is essential to prevent passing out in the first stage of labour. The 2nd stage of labour pain is pelvis, tissue and perineum damage. That is on the same scale as a heart attack. If women had a higher tolerance level then we wouldn't feel the impact of stubbing our toe, bumping our shin or stepping on lego. It still hurts. This misconception that women have a higher pain threshold is what leads to women not being taken seriously with medical issues and not being given equal pain relief to men. It's a serious problem.
The story with the A1 of an amazing bro (2nd to last story), OP said “it’s just a speed bump.” And I immediately thought “yeah. That’s what they said in the movie Bird Box too.” 😂😂
A husband/father isn’t supposed to “help with the kids” A husband/father has kids And when you are home you are equally responsible for interacting with them Parents who spout sentences as” i am babysitting MY children today/tonight whatever” Or “i have to help with the kids” When you are a parent You have kids You don’t help with or babysit You have them But that aside , i think there needs to be a good talk about the whole thing What do they actually expect of each other , what do they see as a fair division and what are the exact issues they both encounter Edit : and yeah, the stay af home person usually also picks up the family issues (parents and such) End of story, they seem to be doing very well on the communicating and problemsolving , parttime job also sounds great with getting her into some adult interaction (communication wise etc )
I didn't even realize that she literally IS. A. MOM. Good catch, she's even dumber now imo. So glad they were able to work it out though, they seem like a great couple beyond needing to work on communication but no one is perfect
Yeah…and she’s probably available 24/7. He certainly didn’t comment about being available all throughout the damn night. Mothers are the ones that take on the most with the most misplaced, undue shame and expectant free labor. She took care of the kids, not herself, her sister and her mother and HIM YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. She’s working all day long and ONLY leaving when other family members needed her. That’s a 24/7 freaking job. Father’s complain, essentially, that after they get home from work (or in his instance, walks out of the spare room into the rest of the home) that there’s ACTUAL CHILDREN THERE! 😱 And as though it’s unfair that what? They have to be a parent?!?! WTAF is the difference if she leaves him to go do more familial work, with his own kids, when she’s been taking care of them and him all day and he has been taking care of paid work? It’s a swap. She’s not going to the salon every third day…it’s TRULY okay and NECESSARY that she do the small things she does do without the kids. If a mother’s cup isn’t full, what the hell does she have to pour from?
Period Story: I will say, some women are so brainwashed by purity culture that i can understand the discomfort with a man communicating about periods... but even so her calling him a disgusting pig for stepping up and being both mother and father to all those kids is absolutely insane. I am so glad he made her leave and i am so glad i never let purity culture ruin my mind the way this girl's mind is.
I think the brother is amazing for taking care of his siblings and I think understanding human anatomy should be normalized way more. My older brother told me when I was little when I got my period I might bleed to death to try and scare me so this brother is an angel in comparison but my brother and I were always fighting as kids. We get along as adults but surprised we didn’t kill each other as kids.😅
I love the first story. Most of these Reddit stories is one person is always a bit unhinged or in complete denial about their behavior, an abuser even, so it was nice to see a normal couple going through normal issues and work together to do better for themselves, their partner, and their kids. A wholesome story we needed.
Oh Sam....not the same. As someone who just had a hysterectomy last week to stop my uterus from repeatedly trying to kill me for the past decade (endometriosis, adenomyosis, pelvic adhesive disease, huge fibroids, severe anemia)...yeah, just not the same. Boy issues sound WAY more fun. And like they destroy less furniture/clothing/mattresses/carpets. But now that it's done...way more fun in my future 🎉❤
S2: OP is not only TA, but a delusional one too. There’s no saving this! She was so disgusting and nearly damaged their sibling relationship. Another one who needs to leave them tf alone.
I must say, in the period story I absolutely love how the women in reddit are like "if you cant appriciate him, I can, give me his contact info" 😂 love that for them
39:01 super surprised and happy three men can have knowledgeable conversations about periods, and reproductive systems. This brother is the literal GOAT 🎉
In regards to the man raising his siblings. A. All cis men should know how periods should work, it instills compassion and understanding and makes better men in the long run. B. He is raising these children it's his responsibility to not only know about these things but be able to convey the information in a kind and understanding way. C. What the fuck is her problem he's being a good man. He is a walking green flag she is a walking red flag.
The period girlfriend isn’t mature enough for him. She liked the idea of him as a stand-up guy, taking care of his siblings. When it finally hit how much of a father role he has to take on, she projected her discomfort onto him, due to emotional immaturity.
The 'friend' who kissed her friend's bf - I don't get, how dense some people can be. She acts like since he accepted the apology he should act like she didn't try to homewreck. Still expecting to hang out when it just happened, then later reaching out when there's no reason to, you can talk to your friend's bf's but not the ones you want to date because the attempts are as see-through as glASS.
33:24 yes. The only time it happened to me was on a trip with my friend and his mom. My friend got his own room but I shared a room with his very Christian mom. Woke up and saw her blushing trying to ignore me while reading her devotional.
As a woman, I think it's so nice and sweet that her brother (father) knew about periods and could explain how they work, and make her feel comfortable.
I remember hearing the period story one elsewhere & I just LOATHE that woman. Giving the excuse that her DAD was the issue... no. Don't justify your father's lack of understanding with the situation at hand. It's the 21st century, get over yourself. "You guys aren't gonna steal him from me" GIRL!! He's no longer yours!!! And the "speed bump" comment... 😤🤬 That wasn't a speed bump. That was hitting a semi head on, flipping over several times & rolling off a cliff!!
I got my first period and the only one home was my step dad so I had to ask him where my mom kept pads. He went white as a ghost and went into high gear and just said "You know how to use it right?"
My mom is also stay at home mom, and my dad is working but, when he gets back home he still helps out, becasue he has to. She also work hard, working at home is very hard. In the evning everyone have a free relaxing time, and on weekends we all relax. I think that this is how it should be
Riley was killing it!!! He was spot on. The bf had every right to tell op she’s dead to him. Sticks and stones!! When it comes to the “WWJD” reference, uhhh flipping tables? Lol people who have probably never read the Bible, seem to think Jesus was a “hipster hippie”. Nahhh JC was a badass. Read it if you don’t believe me.