this weeks writing event had kicked off as well as the narrations of last weeks winnders , ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-KKC4sBZKlVU.html
>The war council accused the human subject of warcrime against a prisoner of war >The accused defended himself by stating that it wasn't a prisoner of war but it was his dinner
I mean not only did he not know they were sentient, but he also wasn't aware they were at war. Also it technically makes him a prisoner as he was taken and trapped on the planet against his will, seeing as they were there to hunt him for sport it's really hypocritical to accuse him of war crimes, especially considering he's a civillian
@@CadanL well you know ..classic imperial/super nation behavior ''kidnap civilians , plan to slaughter them like cattle ,or butcher wounded soldiers of the opposition defending ther homes etc... then squeal and cry croco tears when having ther soldiers not returned in gold laced honour caskets'' right ;)
It wasn't even a war - yet - I mean sure they kidnapped the human and apparently forgot to feed him too. Could argue that it was just ordinary crime of kidnapping with most vicious torture due not providing food - never mind informing the human about their race. It ain't possible to know if it is sentient, when the damned thing carries no objects or clothes and wears nothing but their own feathers - and thus looks pretty much like any small flock of large birds. And birds are food, period - especially if you are very hungry and surviving perhaps even starving. Play stupid games win stupid gruesome prices. Hell even I'd have tried to hunt those in that position and I am relatively sure, that most of us humans would have - as long as we didn't know those things are supposedly intelligent life. And in all honesty, the idea was kinda 'bird brained one' so go figure. Had they 'attacked' Earth in that same fashion - imagine it. Some damned ships land on the planet or some colony and then people just find these perhaps aggressive, but 'weaponless aka birds wearing nothing but their feathers' - the humans would perhaps have just herded their soldiers into some wild life preserve or zoo. So what if it came out of a space ship - those may obviously be transporting wild life - and given that ostriches are farmed - perhaps we would simply have figured 'hey these are probably some alien domesticated birdies for a farm'.
I'd like to see the story about how the military guys explain to this one random dude that he managed to make an entire species opinion about going to war with humanity be "Do Not For Any Reason Whatsoever."
Aliens:* being big birds starving an omnivore, then Sending fresh uncooked chicken nuggets, while showing the human no sings of sentience, but pack tactics at best * Human:yumi Aliens: *picachu face* No, realy what did they expect?
Really their own fault for going there completely unequipped and without manipulator appendages, without anything to signify their sentience. How was the dude supposed to know the ostriches were sentient and not dinner?
not the first HFY we ate the aliens, one of them they looked and tasted like some pig-things seeing as we have a term for the taste of human meat, long pig, eating sentient bacon(that story) or sentient drumsticks(this one) wouldn't make much difference to some of us
I can only surmise they sent in their version of marines on a 'survival mission' (no supplies or equipment, just the marine). Stoopid decision to send them in completely unarmed and unequipped when trying to discover a new aliens capabilities. Most humans would recognize clothing or equipment on a large bird and re-evaluate the situation. Though I do suspect the human will be a bit distressed about eating another sentient species when they finally rescue him. Also, a lesson to other aliens: If you do not want to be eaten for dinner, you better feed us first.
@@stevedixon921 naw. He will only he upset that he didn't have any sides to go with his meal. Maybe some mashed potatoes and gravy or a good cornbread dressing.
And this is one of the main reasons First Contact Rules were made, make sure that the other species is aware that you are sentient, specially if you look like a free chicken buffet.
21:07 bari: w-we were just curious and thought you to be great war practice for our troops. cleagne: and? bari: w-we surrender please don't muttilate our bodies like a wild animal. cleagne: who in anyone's right mind would do that to a sapient being like yourselves. bari: then please explain this. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- john: wait. THEY WERE SAPIENT ALIENS? especialy ELITE SOLDIER ALIENS? cleagne: yes, and you hunted them and ate them to survive. john:um did i ruin our galactic reputation? cleagne: no because we dealt with that problem when we arrived, but you did give those suckers PTSD of us john: i'm going vegan for now
Or it could have went this way... John: Um did I ruin our galactic reputation? Cleagne: No, but their entire species will be having nightmares about us for eternity. John: Say, do you have any bbq sauce? I'm getting hungry again. Cleagne: John... John: "...say, do you think there is a space bovine species? Or maybe a space pork species? Maybe even a space tuna species? I definitely could go for some sushi!" Cleagne: JOHN!!! John: What? A varied diet is essential." Meanwhile in the Galactic Senate...half the assembled delegates are vomiting all over themselves and the other half have feinted. CHAPTER TWO: The Food Wars!
They might have been sentient but with no tell tale signs of intelligence and with nothing else to go on, accountant John was hungry and naked and in a state of survival. He saw them as food, what with being giant birds.
Survival drop. Survive with just your skills whilst having to watch out for potential hostile or target while you scrounge and survive on the land. Doesn't seem that far out to me beside them not using trained professionals that knows the situation as the target/hostile.
@@Elmithianyeah, but if you're going up against an unknown sapient who doesn't know what you are and has no way of telling you from a non-sapient, you're a moron if you don't at least wear some sort of clothing to set you apart from the food animals. Big birds are apparently complete idiots.
first they lost their soldiers, then their lunches, and with it their will to fight, but in the end the thing that hurt them the most was when they lost their dignity, as the entire war council shat themselves live in front of General Clegane.
It absolutely is. A lone human in a survival situation, hunting wildlife for sustenance. Since the Bari squad gave no indications of sentience that could be immediately recognised by a human, said human identified them as wildlife.
You know, when you look like a big fowl.... maybe stranding an obvious predator species on a planet, alone, with no food, other than your own troops.... kind of a bad idea...
@@noppornwongrassamee8941 Do you know of any herbivore species which have both forward facing eyes and a combination of incisors + cuspids in the mouth? Also - Please don't try to give me the old line about hippos - those will not only eat meat but they've been filmed stealing kills from other predators and consuming the carcasses ( Dudley 2015). If you don't believe the researchers of that study: Roaring Earth has a recording of a hippo consuming of a fresh kill side by side with a pack of lionesses which is up right now and available to be watched online so you can see it with your own eyes.
@@ObservingLibertarian To be fair, you'd have to get pretty close to examine a humans teeth to determine we are omnivorous (we have at least three types of teeth for cutting, tearing and chewing), though they would have had opportunity to do so during transit. But yeah, the forward facing eyes is a predator feature, for measuring distances to prey (herbivores like rabbits have side facing eyes for comparison, to watch for predators). The rest of a human is kind of squishy though, so a bit deceiving perhaps. There is a reason we use tools.
And not identifying your troops as sapient and military in anyway a civilian would understand The other hand a random accountant with handmade tools killed two highly trained elite soldiers hand to hand
everybody's freaking out about eating a sapiant creature and im over here like dude we used to eat eachother untill people started getting prion's and put 2 and 2 together...
Mate, that started likely before the homo sapiens species. When our ancestors ate their own. And let's be fair, most other mammals (if memory serves) can experience the same kind of prion "disease" as we do. Atl I know for sure that "zombie" deers are getting more common in North America due to this.
@@Elmithian I'm pretty sure the deer aren't eating other deer, there must be an intermediate species that is spreading the disease. Ticks? Fleas? Mosquito? Horsefly? Maybe something else, hookworms or something?
@@Terran.Marine.2 You are aware that even "herbivores" go "meat is meat" and will eat meat if it is available? But in this case, it isn't even because they are eating one another. They only need to eat the grass where other deer have died in since prions are obnoxiously slow to break down and lose cohesion. ...and they actually bind with the grass, so the darn prions are in the damn grass they eat now. And the more deer die from the prion disease, the more corpses, the more you have grass with the prions in it, and the more it escalates.
WE’RE ALL MILITARY CLASS. It was Germany’s and Japan’s biggest mistake to think America was “just” a nation of shop keepers. But Yamamoto knew, and was ignored.
There's probably a huge back story here that also explains just how an army general was given command of a navel vessel, was denied the privalage of calling themselves "captain" (as per maritine tradition) and simaltaniously came to be tasked with the authority to conduct first contact diplomatic negotiations AND conduct investigations into acts of piracy against a merchant shipping.
Sorry, but they had that coming. Xeno attacked a merchant ship, stripped 1 of the survivors naked, planted him in our elite training grounds with no supplies, and sent an entire platoon down to hunt the survivor. Survivor then proceeded to hunt the platoon and turn parts of the platoon into rations. I feel less sorry for them when you remember that they fully planned on killing the human as an experiment.
should have scared the big chickens more by having sound and make primitive grunting and moaning noices when eating! like an un-ending appetite for chicken!
Note to self when hungry enough a human will have have the strength comparable to a Krogan and the appetite of a Vorcha. Garruss Sar'thurian, Student of Citadle Galactic University, reaction uppon watching the most unfortunate war crime commited to and by a human in recent history.
Ouch sounds like someone's goose has been cooked! Low and slow over a camp fire and those aliens toss their cooks over what human see as a source of protein.
@@jamesappling1212 only in extreme survival scenarios usually resulting in immense feelings of guilt and PTSD. Some serial killers being notable outliers.
@@futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 I would say that is a current preconception. Everybody contains porons from ancestral cannibalism. We are a species of survivors. As modern archaeologists, I'm sure You are well aware of Meso- American practices. Tribal practices continue to this day on an island off the Indian subcontinent. And shall We discuss what happened to the family heir to one of America's richest families in I think it was Boerno in the early 60s. Have a nice Day, See You at the Barbecue ( Caribbean natives as recently as the 18th century)😉
I would say (at the end of the story) that the Bari collectively shat themselves...but I suspect they were too paralyzed for even that. TBF, I'm guessing that John would be horrified at knowing he had eaten a sapient, to his credit.
As talks progressed General Clegane realized the Bari had made terrible assumptions about humans. All of this had been a mistake, certainly, but never let a tactical strategic opportunity go to waste. Preliminary talks were scheduled for the next day with representatives from the Bari and General Clegane negotiating on behalf of the Terrans. In his cabin that evening, the General spent several hours searching the Old Earth Internet Database for particular video footage. After several hours he found the perfect video for his presentation to the Bari. He downloaded the video entitled "Tyson Poultry Processing Plant No. 12: Procedures for Processing Poultry Product from Farm to Supermarket."
NGL I was laughing constantly from the mid point :) silly prey-animals turning up to a fight without gear/weapons should know better than to attack a post-hangover hungry castaway human.
Hahahaha... gives the quote "Tastes like chicken" a new meaning "D why wouldnt they be wearing armor/clothes.. and why no weapons ? All those aliens are dumb in those stories.. Still its hilarious and fun :D
It was a training planet, the space chicken had natural weapons, didn't need clothes and they wanted to test the human without technological advantages.
@@bearstarpresents2264 Frieza was basically invulnerable and 99% of other species are not. Clothes are made to prevent dmg and what not. Besides even Friezer was wearing armor with his distintions, not to mention the scouter.
I enjoy this story. It shows how instinctive humans still are in worst case scenarios. Human instinct is based around survival. Food is key to said survival. Now, bring on the all you can eat Space Ostrich.
Bari: Sorry, sorry, a million apologies for kidnapping one of your elite warriors! Please! We meant no harm. Cpt Glegane : Elite warrior? That guy was an accountant.......euh, anyway, no harm no foul, sorry about your 2 errrm.... 'soldiers'. Back to business, High command has sent word that they would like me to take a delegation of you back to Earth, we have a Colonel in Kentucky that has a business proposition for you.
Anyone who knew how to hunt, and how to gut the big birds, would also know to gut them where he killed them, and not have those guts laying around anywhere near his camp.
That's probably due to a lack of hunting knowledge on the author's part. Most people don't hunt anymore, a lot of details like that have been forgotten by the general population.
According to the story, all his survival knowledge is just what he remembered from watching reality survival shows. He might not have seen that episode. :)
imagine the aftermath of them learning the one they kidnapped wasn't even an expert on survival or war. just a number pusher, not even a genius by any means. an accountant. and he was going off memory and raw instinct the moment he was set inside a natural environment with nothing, not even clothes.
Your entire delivery and opening everything with "ladies and Mentle-Gents" is so douche-chill inducing I thought that there had been sudden universe-wide Fermionic strong-force modulation failure.
I've been looking for this story for a couple months to enjoy it again, couldn't find it by searching for it even though I tried stuff like "Tastes Like Chicken". Which turned out to be an actual story title, just not this one. I had to stumble upon it at the whim of the algorithm. Now that I've watched the video again, 2 things strike me: 1) His hands hurt from breaking rocks all day...was that a reference to the song lyrics, or just a happy accident? 2) Who skewers dinner from the anus first? Gross, that would contaminate all the meat.
