Narcissistic Parents: Strange Behaviors They Mimic from Others

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In this video, I talk about the behaviors narcissistic parents mimic from others. Understanding this will help you recognize their manipulations, see them for who they really are, and stay true to yourself, even when they are being fake.
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** Overcome Toxic Guilt & Shame - ru-vid.com/group/PLoYQTW09i3W3uf_7bfMAT0WXigH1YIMDn&si=-Y0Xxp7QmkAzxc9P
** Going No/Low Contact with Narcissistic Family- ru-vid.com/group/PLoYQTW09i3W3NwueDfL2n7nDetlOQOSRP&si=whB2JLvwgR7N6IKV
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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.
****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

Опубликовано:

6 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 208

@jerrywise 8 дней назад

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

@siriasouza5264 День назад

Narcissistic parents are exhausting

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

REALLY

@joseenoel8093 День назад

It's a ploy, they can then curse you for looking drained and attribute it to your obvious loserness!😊 Enough is enough, as an ageing woman why the heck wasn't I permitted to look tired?

@BB-fo5mr День назад

Well Siria, that’s gently stated. But true, nonetheless.

@rahman.1339 День назад

Simply put 😂

@virginiayap726 День назад

Absolutely 😅

@SooperTrooper100 День назад

I have an alcoholic, narcissist parent. I would describe our relationship as confusing, disingenuous, and disappointing.

@SooperTrooper100 День назад

The detachment technique is key. It works. Just be mindful that you are not applying it to all relationships. The healthy ones will challenge you to find the balance. This man knows his stuff! Glad I found his channel.

@NightsideOfParadise День назад

Sounds about right but there is no reason why it should be disappointing. It's disappointing only if you expect good things.

@lindac6919 День назад

@@NightsideOfParadise That's not about right, nor is it correct. The premise is insufficient. Children don't have the perspective to "expect" a certain kind of childhood. It's disappointing in retrospect. You never get a second chance to have an adequate childhood.

@stephencodde4868 Час назад

I’m an alcoholic with a narcissist family, it’s different to say the least, I’m not violent or criminal in any way, my family is stooped in a religious belief and I’m not so I’m really bad .. apparently

@mercedessanchez6844 День назад

That’s the scariest thing. When they mimic good qualities! I don’t fall for them anymore

@joseenoel8093 День назад

It's like crashing down in a hot air balloon 🎈!

@ann-mariequigley2944 День назад

Grandstanding and Virtue Signalling is what they do.

@RatedArggg День назад

I remember when my brother earned a PhD. I told my parents we should do something nice for him, like get him a gift. They said "Oh....I hadn't thought of that."

@julianneh.1768 День назад

The mimicry of connection, intimacy, or recognition without any of the real intent... That is so baffling. I've asked my mom and dad before why they don't reach out to start a conversation or a family zoom call or initiate/plan a gathering (mom has a fit if we do something without her, they'll both talk about how as family we never get together or talk often because "We're just not like that" and it's so sad) and it's just like, "Well if people want to they'll start it." It's exhausting... Yet they want to go on with this story about how they are so proud of their kids, and feel great about how good their kids turned out even though they were so flawed as parents. Yet, all hell breaks loose to imply they were less than wonderful and I feel anything less than complete appreciation and gratitude and willingness to serve them in payment.

@caroleminke6116 День назад

I used to cross my arms & lean back to watch the show as my mother turned on her Doris Day look when other mothers talked about their children with genuine enthusiasm

@saraheck7898 18 часов назад

Yes! 💯

@SweepDailyWin День назад

Yes! My empathetic, genuine self didn't stand a chance! My new life has begun @ 60

@ann-mariequigley2944 День назад

My life too starting at 62

@Ladybug1222 День назад

Me too but 62

@sacredwaters9 День назад

🎉🎉🎉❤❤

@joseenoel8093 День назад

Yay here comes 64 and several yrs since I've seen/dealt with many of them!😊

@annchenweidemann5694 День назад

Mine too 🌱

@ryucayenneofffical День назад

My father goes in between full fighting rage with cursing and nonsense anger, to complete helplessness, using the age and all the sudden becomes a giant useless baby. All behavior is just an act, just manipulation, never once authentic conversation about anything. Everything is Machiavellian. I

@SallyAlmito День назад

Same but I can’t help but feel sorry for my parents. They are just so pathetic, they are acting like toddlers even though they are 60-something year olds. Any tips on dealing with that feeling of responsibility? I just hate seeing them that way.

@oropeza899 День назад

@@SallyAlmitoself diferetiantion and detachment. Good luck

@Shortstacksandticktacks День назад

@@SallyAlmitoI started having compassion for myself instead. I have compassion for literal toddlers. The feeling sorry for them was something you were brainwashed to feel.

@MS-yc2tb 19 часов назад

Lol you just described my father. They're all the same

@AnnAndNala День назад

Wow, this is so spot on. This explains so much. I could always feel that sense of strange fakeness when my narc "mother" and golden child sister would sometimes act kind or "knowledgable" or supportive. My sister would fake cry, never any actual tears were shed from her, she would just mimic and act out the antics of crying.

@sacredwaters9 День назад

My mother can do this, cry with no tears! It's disturbing and a reminder of how manipulative t h ey are.

@fifilafleur5555 День назад

Yes!!!!

@MD-vb1hq День назад

I had to leave from visiting because I had to give my cat insulin. My mother's face turned into a caricature of sympathy as she turned on the "oh, no! Your cat's diabetic?!" trying to make me stay longer to talk about it. It literally turned my stomach remembering that my father told me the weekend before that my mother was telling everyone at garage sales how terrible it was that her daughter had a diabetic cat.

@tonyschwartz6712 День назад

They love drama and anything to draw attention to themselves. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. The truth has helped to set me free from my narcissistic parents, but it's a difficult journey because they are soul murderers. Faith in Jesus and the Holy Spirit gives us the knowledge & direction we need to get set free. God bless you and help you to forgive them and find the peace God wants you to have and may your experience help to validate what so many others are going through. It's the key to getting free - understanding we're not the crazy ones.

@lillabotlik1975 День назад

Oh, bless you and your cat. Staying away from toxic people is the best option to heal and live your life not theirs.

@djer05010401 18 часов назад

Yes! "Caricature of sympathy" is the perfect description.

@OnceLostForeverFound День назад

So true! My mother is a covert/vulnerable communal narc. She does all of these things, especially the martyrdom and the helplessness/strength yoyo cycle. She purposely hurts herself sometimes (physically/fiscally/just about anyway you can think of) and will agonize about it for DAYS. She will act like she treats all of her children with fairness but behind closed doors she continues to put me behind my sister, she acts like everything she has to do with me is just the worst thing on Earth but will jump when my sister, another covert, says jump. But she will turn on the helplessness act when she wants me to do something. It's crazy making. But I will definitely start taking notes to stop absorbing.

@SkinnyEatWorld95 День назад

Sounds exactly like both of my parents, my father especially. I'm sorry for everything you have been through. Things didn't start to change for me until after my father passed away, but now things are good. I hope things are good for you or start becoming good soon. Thanks for sharing this!

@onazna7123 День назад

I see you, i hear you.That is my mother 100%. I was secondguessing myself and felt crazy for actually seeing all those dynamics since early age...it is such a relief being validated with what the community is sharing including Jerry

@erockfreedom6399 День назад

Spot on. My father in particular knows how to pour it on thick. It always felt yucky and disingenuous.

@BB-fo5mr День назад

A means to an end. As with most of their behavior. Hallmark of all cluster B traits and disorders

@FreedomAboveAll4 13 часов назад

6:42 "while privately downplaying and sabotaging successes out of envy..." Hits hard.

@Grateful4life4time День назад

This blew my mind because of how true this is 🤯

@uk7769 День назад

I'm trapped in the insanity. Im sick homebound with nowhere else to go except the streets and I can't survive that. I've collapsed into my own last freewill. "The last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning Thanks for these videos. Keeps me hanging on.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you for sharing and sending you best wishes. I feel and I'm living what you say. I fall prey in times of serious need like housing and jobs. This video gives me hope that as long as we can continue to see the difference and emphasize what is true we go forward. so difficult when the change we need doesn't seem to happen "soon" enough. For me it has taken 5 years and I begin a new job tomorrow. That is if I can still function from what I know to be normal!! My strength and open doors have definitely come from "above". Keep going forward to your freedom! And take good care along the way ie meals, sleep. access to healthy people. You are worth it and needed!💝

@globalenergyfrequencycoach День назад

I feel both of you, keep choosing your state of being over circumstances, walk a lot, carve out as much time on your own as you can - and you’ll vibe out of their lives eventually. Wishing you happiness!

@uk7769 День назад

@@Butterfly-if1qs Oh wow congrats on the new job. I've grown a lot the 4 last years. I have a high enough vantage point in mental fitness thanks to people like Jerry Wise who share powerful knowledge. Knowing better, we can be better. Learning never ends. Know we can navigate thru the difficult people, and be bold, but "wise" ;) in that new job. Cheers. Be well.

@Shortstacksandticktacks День назад

I need to read that book.

@uk7769 День назад

@@Shortstacksandticktacks just know, the first chapter is difficult. I had to pause and reflect several times in tears. It describes the best and worst of human nature. It gets ugly. But the message is worth the effort. Put things in perspective for me. That's for sure.

@tallgrrl1 День назад

This is all pretty applicable to other narcissistic entanglements, like friendships. This is great information.

@cassien7585 День назад

My inlaws love to offer help in bad faith. They'll " do you need help' to death and then when you actually tell them what you need They'll stare at you. They just wanted to appear helpful. Conditional help. It's maddening. Either that or suddenly they don't know what I'm asking. Weaponized incompetence.

@ccalexander1924 День назад

My mom offers help but she always says “ I can help but someone will have to pick me up and drive me home. She knows it’s such a hassle to drive all the way to her house and pick her up then drive her all the way home.

@cassien7585 День назад

@ccalexander1924 she knows you aren't gonna wanna do this and she gets to look like the good guy cause she " offered" to help"

@ccalexander1924 День назад

@@cassien7585exactly lol

@ryucayenneofffical День назад

Jesus. I'm a Phi Sigma Alpha graduate in Political Science with an emphasis in Constitutional Law. You would think my mother read every book and knew more then me about every subject I took years mastering and learning, if I'm in the same room and the news is on. I will say something of insight that pretty much only a Lawyer or Political science need would know and she'll litterly rephrase the excat thing I just said and pretend it's her own thought and when I press on a finer detail of what she's saying, the narcissistic rage comes out because she can only parrot and has no understanding of what she's saying. Its always been the weirdest thing to me, and yet here is another video of explaining exactly what's happening. 🙃

@TheBlondiekitten День назад

Oh my word, yes they’re mimics. They can’t be real. My mother is all of these. The gaslighting and the undermining of really loving relationships is the biggest damage. I am now minimal contact and am getting much better at staying calm and just not reacting. The narcissist really isn’t worth the pain. They won’t change. It’s how they get through life. Just smile and wave then leave. Blessing to everyone who has had to go through one of these relationships. Xxx

@blackhikikomari День назад

my family's fake and manipulative behavior has cause me trauma and health issues, and emotional pain. Their public facade hides their true nature , and i struggle to overcome the harm inflicted upon me. it's also isolating because ppl idolize the family and ppl close to the family turn against me, portraying me as the villain.

@fifilafleur5555 День назад

I sooooo relate. Same boat. 😢

@FreedomAboveAll4 12 часов назад

Same here.

@Veganthick День назад

The more I learn the more my narc mom disgusts me

@andreacravinhos9603 День назад

That's EXACTLY how I feel and where I am in finally learning to see my narc mom for what she is.

@FranciscoJAguilera-p5u 21 час назад

Same here.

@madeleinegrayson8372 19 часов назад

I feel that but eventually got to a place of feeling sorry for her. She will never feel things and experience joy the way healthy people can. I still keep my distance but they're just basically stuck in a selfish adolescence forever. Imagine that level of shallow insecurity forever. No thanks.

@andreacravinhos9603 День назад

2:52 Yep, my mom does ALL this. She's crazy & demonic, & I am done!!!!!! I already told her that when our lease is up, she has got to go. Of course now, she's trying to pretend that her leaving is her idea. I don't care - I am DONE. My husband and I are prepared to move again, to ensure she gets out and so we can move on with our lives. We're even considering moving out of state.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Oh the discrepancy between public and private.... What a key! Those who mimic rationality but can't sustain it as observed in their behaviors or private life. Thank you so much Jerry.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you Jerry for validating this new key: "Observe and Not Absorb". Thank you Jerry for caring about us and validating what is true.... to observe and not absorb. Which becomes much more difficult in times of personal need or lack.

@marinamayo7994 День назад

I am starting to see someone i placed a tremendous amount of trust in, in a completely different light. Thanks for all the help.

@elizabethgerron6366 День назад

Thank you Jerry! This clears up a lifetime of confusion and icky feelings around their behavior. Practicing being an observer instead of absorbing has helped though it still hurts. It's all a process on the road to recovery

@rwdchannel2901 День назад

My parents did all the things described in this video. I was one of the 3 black sheep children and the youngest child. I didn't get treated as bad as my black sheep sister because she called the cops on my parents for hitting her with a belt. I got some golden child treatment then shoved back down to black sheep after I showed a little independence.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Truly!!! it is more difficult not to fall for the positive positive mimicking behaviors

@caroleminke6116 День назад

I agree! It takes time to catch out fakes since we assume genuine emotion until it becomes clear that they’re not real

@julianneh.1768 День назад

True, it is what has drawn me back in from a place of neutrality or distance, hoping they had some change. Woof. Yo-yo no mo'.

@robylintjables День назад

You kick ass, Jerry

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

I'm so thankful for all you what SAID...... I've long been suspicious of those who speak up too much about themselves. But as dangerous, those who remain silent! those who speak up with justification of traits without living them. The disparity between behaviors and other people's experiences with them.... compared to what they tell themselves. Scary when they do it with humor!

@akr01364 День назад

My stepfather when I was growing up used to allow us to only watch the Disney Channel. Thirty years ago it used to broadcast it's corniest nonsense from the 50s and 60s from when he grew up. In doing so he was using these flaky movies to reinforce an unrealistic and paternalistic world view where he was the center of the universe and only the false reality these films depicted was true. To this day he tries to front himself as being either a Ward Cleaver or the grandfather from The Waltons in a bid to seem something other than the bitter and vengeful man he really is behind closed doors. He still will scream at me over the phone about things that I did when I was five. Whether they happened or not.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

RIGHT ON JERRY🎉Now the Big Catch..... to keep from unconsciously being attracted to these types of people in the rest of life. But worse, them targeting you with their "music"......ie mental illness.

@johnm3544 День назад

My narc mother, "I'm the most empathetic person I know". She really did say that. 😂

@jelkel25 День назад

I really disliked it when the words empathetic, empathic ect came into common pop psychology usage as it's the exact sort of semi vague, hot air, nothing words narcissists and those with a narcissistic interaction style love to throw around. It's reached the point where I'm automatically wary if I hear someone describe themselves in this way.

@summerbreeze3414 День назад

@@jelkel25 go check out these empath groups, they are full of narcs!

@siennaprice1351 День назад

My stepmom was wonderful at mimicking behaviors. I, on the other hand, know what it’s like to have true confidence. To have true empathy. To have true happiness. And other true behaviors, especially true independence. And BOY DO THESE TRUE FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF! It does feel good to have true expertise in things. But one thing I do know, unlike narcissists, is this. I’m not always right. It’s ok to be wrong sometimes, because it can help you to learn. I don’t know everything, and to be honest, I don’t want to know everything. That would be overwhelming, and it’s too much on the brain.

@marion5198 День назад

I do agree. The brain is not able to cope with it.

@siennaprice1351 День назад

@@marion5198 exactly. I don’t know how narcissists can have this confidence that they’re always perfect, and that they know everything. No one is perfect. And you’re damn sure not perfect either. If you say you’re always perfect, you’re disrespecting everyone around you, and you’re disrespecting yourself. I may be a perfectionist, but underneath that perfectionism and trying to mask and fit in, I’M NOT FREAKING PERFECT! NO ONE IS!

@marion5198 День назад

@@siennaprice1351 Yeah that's true. I think they are so full of themselves and no self - reflection. And the desire to hurt others is so strong , they don't even think about failing or making mistakes.

@siennaprice1351 День назад

@@marion5198 I will admit, I do beat myself up when I fail, because I was never allowed to fail, unless I wanted to be shamed and punished. Failing gets such a bad rap. I’ve had people tell me that there’s nothing wrong with failing, because it teaches you a valluable lesson. Failing doesn’t change your worth. Dang, I REALLY need to be telling myself this more instead of doing what my stepmom did to me. Forgive myself for mistakes. Love myself even though I failed instead of bullying myself for it.

@marion5198 День назад

@@siennaprice1351 👍🏻 Who likes somebody that appears perfect ?? That is intimidating and unreal. And not possible either as you said. Failing is part of our life and makes us human. Shaming a child is absolutely cruel. How can such people even look into the mirrow.

@gigicolada День назад

Oof the loyalty thing. My mom is obsessed with loyalty. Well, her definition of it at least.

@caroleminke6116 День назад

Fealty

@carolnahigian9518 День назад

mom would be goong crazy APE- then if the PHONE RANG: she was A-okay, graceful to WHOM EVER Called her number!!!! Amazing

@KChelseaVenus День назад

I've seen this happen right in front of my face, not my narc mom but a narc ex-friend of mine who would literally be screaming crying for her to get her way with me, having a full on tantrum, trying to manipulate with rageful tears one minute and then switch immediately to be perfectly fine the next as soon as her phone rang, she picked up like nothing was wrong answering with a smile and sounding normal. I saw her face change and her fake tears suddenly not there. It was the most insane surreal thing I have ever witnessed. Like an actor on a stage changing emotions from one scene to another. Absolutely insane! Almost psychopathic in how they mimic emotions.

@danielkaiser8971 День назад

Same. When I was a kid (1970s) my mother would be yelling and screaming at me in private. Then the phone in the hallway would ring, and she would sit down and answer it with the sweetest voice. And then when she finished the call, one time I asked her why she could switch so fast between angry and nice. "Because I'm not mad at them." Then she slapped me for talking back and continued yelling. But looking back the real answer was that she was putting on a show just because she could. Then dad would arrive home from work and she would tell me to wash my face and go to my bedroom while she went into the kitchen (pretending) to work.

@davashorb6116 День назад

You nailed it again, Jerry.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you Jerry for being an anchor for us. All blessings for your peace health and safety

@jeankipper6954 День назад

Once when I was about 16, I told mom that I always told the truth because it's easier that way. Don't have to keep track of who gets told what. She said, Huh. Never thought of that.

@julianneh.1768 День назад

That's truly nuts... My mom yelled at me for coming to her with concerns about her and my dad. 18 years later (last year) she brought it up again saying I was so ignorant and didn't know anything about her and my dad and they were TOTALLY FINE at the time and still are, and why would I even say something so hurtful to her and harmful about them? I said, because I was a kid looking for help with my feelings from my mother. What I was feeling was beyond what I knew how to deal with or understand as a child so I went to my mom for help. Her face as she looked like she had never considered that a child might need help from an adult with their feelings, and not that she should demand to be catered to was an absolute 🤯🤯🤯 for me. That was the first time in my life I decided truly to give myself distance from her, realizing the depth of the situation. It just truly, truly is nuts the things that have never settled into these brains...

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you for validating what I see. I will now be more strongly aware of the "telegraphing" phenomenon from others.! It doesn't lead to Peace Health or Ssafety.... even if we subject ourselves to it in times of need. Reminds me of the saying 'the more the words the less the truth'

@onazna7123 День назад

Thank you Jerry, truely appreciated. God...i was not crazy all those decades dor seeing the duplicity. Unconsistency and allother crazy making bs

@irshikha День назад

💜 I haven't even started watching the video and I already _liked_ it. I always first pause and *like* every video, so I don't forget _thanking_ you for the work you're doing for us. 🙏🏼 I hope every person, who comes to your channel, gets their best life that's awaiting, once they begin their healing journey with you. 🐛 🔜 🦋 You are a GEM! 🤗 KEEP SHINING BRIGHTER BY THE DAY... ☄️💥🌞

@nicolehayes6020 23 часа назад

One word-NIGHTMARE!!! I learned thru coaches like Jerry here, they don’t change. They are incapable of changing. I stopped trying and accepted it for what it is. I’ll be 50 in April and refuse to live the second half of my life the same as the first half. Stay strong everyone and ty Jerry ❤✌️🙏💯

@MrMasterDebate День назад

My family is run by two narcissists

@Chestnut22322 День назад

Especially good one today. Thank you!

@ogforever1 10 часов назад

I learned at a young age to never tell my parents how I felt because it always came back to haunt me.

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you for validating what I see. I will now be more strongly aware of the "telegraphing" phenomenon from others.! It doesn't lead to Peace Health or Ssafety.... even if we subject ourselves to it in times of need. Remind me of the saying 'the more the words the less the truth'

@annchenweidemann5694 День назад

This is exactly how it is. Thank you for this informative video

@jerrywise День назад

Thanks for watching!

@adrienne3575 День назад

This is facts

@pringlessourcream9527 День назад

Described my mom to a tee. My mom will smile and give encouragements of positivity in my presence then the minute my back was turned, she would give snarling remarks loud enough to hear. She loved to give advices, thinking it was wisdom that I often felt it was absurd. I felt she was a whirlpool of negatively pulling me into it. Her objective was to be like her, a total wreck of a person I became an angry adult, most of the time, when she died, I didn't mourn for her, I thought,"Thank God" I felt being exorcised finally.

@GPDuchess 3 часа назад

I confronted my mother when I was about 20+, I told her' mom you only live your life to please people'; to which she answered ' yeah, because we live among people'; so she shut me up; 30 years later I would've told her' yeah, but not for them'; at the time I didn't know

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Jerry this showing up has truly been prophetic. I will sign up and I look forward to going through the program with you as soon as I get settled in my new job and move.

@summerbreeze3414 День назад

My narc father was in his 40s and said I was a terrible daughter for going away on a well deserved holiday and not going over to his house everyday instead and cleaning it as that is what any decent daughter would do for their poor "old" father 🙄

@ChuangSarah День назад

OH WOW! You just described my parents 100%. It’s crazy-making how insidious their mimic behaviors are. Like you said, it makes me so confused sometimes 😩😩😩

@eq2092 14 часов назад

#2: I was constantly called out for being a "know it all" but it's a behavior I learned from my parents. My mother loves to Pontificate about stuff she had never done. My father claims expertise he doesn't have. He once told me that he was a "savant" in mathematics but then in the same conversation says he flunked out of Calculus 1. Both my wife and I are Engineers we don't call ourselves experts in math and we both got A's in all four of our Calculus classes.

@Coreg1 День назад

Cool shirt. Thank you

@jerrywise День назад

Thank you too!

@theveganmenu8571 День назад

This family that i came from both mother and father I think they had suicidal tendencies too. Be careful that they don't take you with them if they ever decide to you know. Keep an eye out for that.

@a.b.2850 День назад

Thank you Jerry 🫶🏻

@tiffanyandtheshihtsu День назад

Thank you so much Jerry! The tips at the end were so appreciated 😊

@TheStarrySky-sb9df День назад

Wonderful insight as always!

@LisaSmith-yb2uz День назад

So much wisdom and insight here, Jerry! (as usual;) Yes! Absolutely, I like to consistently remind myself that Altruism is not a performance for anyone else to watch, and true authenticity can never be faked 😊❣️

@cygnusrays День назад

That was really helpful, thank you. The more clearly I hear this explained, the easier it becomes to be kind to myself now. The aftermath is real!

@naturelover1284 День назад

Okay this explains why when I was 15 we didn't have any more Christmas Even though my mother waited 7 years for my dad to leave was because she couldn't show off in front of him or slide him while we had Christmas

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Thank you for bringing this out jerry. Your insights are so helpful and life-changing.

@ashanein День назад

This is so helpful, Jerry, thank you 🥺. I've been struggling immensely with shame and guilt/ systems feelings because I keep thinking "but there were some good things!" It's hard to know what was real and what was mimicry. It's helpful to be reminded that mimicry is a common tactic.

@TR-lk4ik 12 часов назад

My goodness…this explains so much of my family…

@raindancer68 14 часов назад

one of their major tricks is to have in one sentence two opinions completely the opposite, so they can always change side if needed, and to seem an understanding person

@leanita7549 День назад

100% right ❤

@gretchenisasquirrel 19 часов назад

The best examples and guidance I've ever heard.

@annapintor2648 День назад

Omg that’s exactly my mom 😱 all of it!

@bridgetteeva 20 часов назад

I am in no contact with my dad. He is really good at doing the mimicking behaviors. It took me a long time to accept that he was narcissistic and he would never love me. Also, he would never change. 😢

@kareemmohammed5270 16 часов назад

painful, resonates, much appreciated Jerry for your insights as always.

@julia1j1j1 23 часа назад

They even mimic a whole personality which they don't have. My parents used to mimic other peoples' ways of talking and their mannerisms right after visiting them. They mimic someone elses interests, preferences or taste which is why I hid mine carefully as a teen so they would not adopt my taste in music etc. I never understood how someone cannot have any taste, interests or character of their own like this and was quite ashamed back then that my parents weren't actually autonomous adults. Also, all of what's mentioned in the video. It's as if they had no soul...

@Anna-rt3id День назад

Most or all are familiar.

@tims9434 День назад

Very true 2:30

@daniellfourie 19 часов назад

This is EXCELLENT!!! Jerry, this is so true!

@lindac6919 День назад

Thank again, Jerry. Nice shirt! Dynamic, but subtle. Looks good.

@marekm9647 День назад

Dziękujemy.

@blacklightiteh5052 4 часа назад

There is a help, a saying used in some national traditions which can help with this once you understand. It goes "outside hui, inside pfui", It's an easy definition of a narcisstic mimicry.

@KelliSikma 19 часов назад

4:13 in my experience, my parents would use this whole "do you see me being kind... To everyone else?" If that makes sense. they made a big show of being kind to everyone but me. But then they say "nice things" about me so that people will tell me how nice they "actually are."

@darinsmith2458 15 часов назад

A couple things that are coming to mind.. I do like the term Narcissistic Supply.. It is very similar to the supply that alcoholics/addicts get.. Another thing is the bread crumbs that they give me and I mistake that for being nice when they actually owe me a whole lot more..

@VividPagan День назад

My mother once stood and stared at me in shock and said, "Wow. You're really a good person. You do what I can't, and you do it soeasily." She was talking about my ability to be empathetic.

@madeleinegrayson8372 19 часов назад

That must feel amazing. My narc mother flies into a rage when she witnesses genuine empathy or compassion from me. Or she mocks it.

@forest1butterfly День назад

Morning 🎉

@christopherrichardbass-bar5727 8 часов назад

Very helpful insights - thanks, Jerry!

@MrTexas442 19 часов назад

Jerry said, "Normal people, whoever those are, normal people don't go, do you see I'm being empathetic." I have a few comments as it relates to this quote, this may be a good subject for another of Jerry's videos... 1st, there is an acknowledgment that there are no "normal" people... 2nd, most of us (if not all) who have narcissistic parents and who have been trained and raised under that system, now possess and have many of these flawed behaviors & flawed ideas... Being raised in a narcissistic family, highly narcissistic family I should say, in many ways have been damaged psychologically and emotionally... It is on-the-job training for life for many of us... It is a survival strategy at its core... It's easy to become highly narcissistic if you don't have your basic essential needs met... In my home it was every man for himself... The people in charge show me how the game was played... And at least in the corporate world or any highly organized group of people, school systems, govt systems... You see a lot of those people climbing their way over others to get to the top, not always, bad enough that a case could be made... So my last point really deals with the idea of that since, there is no quote normal, and the fact that we come from such a dysfunctional training system... There's always a line it seems by where we operate in the world as genuinely and authentically as we possibly can while at the same time still mimicking at times positive behaviors that can be seen as such and such... I don't always feel like doing many of the things that I do. I often do things out of a sense of duty especially when I do things for my kids... I don't feel like I'm doing it to bind them to me but at the same time I recognize anything done can be construed as a debt... These issues of narcissism often lead me to the same rabbit hole... I have to at some level except my own level of narcissism as I operate in authentically in the world... I have great empathy and I can say that I'm wrong... Thats how I know for sure

@sukoon1155 День назад

Everything is so true.

@raindancer68 14 часов назад

i think narcs are always quite tactical...not emotional, not rational...but very tactical ..it is like they embodied tactics

@colincalmstorm День назад

Brilliant! 💛

@nanny8675309 15 часов назад

My brother mimix expertise and when he speaks so confidently about something you will believe it and go with it until you do research and you realize everything was a load of crap.

@summerbreeze3414 День назад

As a child a local family had a tragedy and my mother wanted me to go and take old blankets over to them. I was horrified, why would she want me to do that? Of course I was never allowed to say no and thank God the neighbour stepped in and told her not to do that as the family were very proud and didn't want pity but I still to this day wonder why bring them old blankets?🤔

@fireupyourheartfortruth День назад

Thank Jerry this is a great lesson😊❤🎉

@jerrywise День назад

Glad you enjoyed it

@raindancer68 14 часов назад

also they first talk bad about things you possess, or your look, furniture whatever, because they envy you and then one week later they buy it themselves....(usually the more expensive version), and what they cannot buy they says sentences like: yes in your youth you have been pretty

@lindac6919 День назад

#5 That was my Mother, big time. Dad wasn't as bad...but only because he wasn't as present. #12 and #13...to be honest; sometimes I still don't really know what is actually fair. For myself, and others.

@marshallrobinson1019 День назад

Jerry, if you haven't already then please consider doing a video about the ways in which a narcissistic parent will use religion to justify behavior.

@jerrywise День назад

I have a few on this topic, here is my latest ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bLQ_IFoLNJQ.htmlsi=E8xCJ6rSrcSjr-LY

@harmonicresonanceproject День назад

4:00 could be called 'performative empathy' :/

@Butterfly-if1qs День назад

Are you going to have a class on this topic Jerry?

@SkinnyEatWorld95 День назад

I showed some of your videos to my mother and she immediately thought of my father...then as she saw more, she started to see herself in the descriptions you give. I don't know if this will go well later on though😐

@julianneh.1768 День назад

Oh man...I tried a little of that with my mom before I understood/could fully see that she had many of the traits. She would just be like oh, yea, that's interesting and move on with whatever (mimicry of interest on her part). Now whenever I've brought to her attention I thought she was like that or we had issues in our family like that...oh, all the rage came out. She brings up how horrible of a mother I think she is, how hurtful I am, and how I'm trying to make her look bad.

@Shortstacksandticktacks День назад

12:16 Don't fall for the positive mimicking behavior. I'm not obligated to be nice or fall for their fake niceness.