The part of this scene I loved was when Joanne, being asked if she was a failure in the one most important relationship in her life, and Ted slightly shook his head saying "No." Despite being adversaries in obtaining sole custody of their son, that small gesture spoke volumes.
I feel like this is any parents worst nightmare. You have a child, but don’t want to stay married and now are fighting over sole custody. That’s why I really admire parents who can equally co-parent for the sake of the child even if they hate each other. I don’t have kids yet, hopefully one day, but I hope to never end up in a situation like this.
a fine film every one should Watch. Meryl streep is wonderful. This film crosses my mind whenever we have a fight at home. A brilliant film which I see often even after 30 years
I just wondered how Meryl is able to feel the life of every character, how she can imagine she lives it. That's incredible, she is so natural in every role, she gives soul to her characters. Like their lifes are her own life. I love her so much, in this scene she can make you cry (also in every sad movie, when she cryes you begin crying with her..) Makes it effortless, and I just can't imagine what genius you need to be to make it in such a flawless and perfect way!
Aleister Crowley answers that question perfectly and accurately about how "acting" by actors leaves audiences so completely enraptured, but you would consider it unwelcome.
When I watched this as a kid, I always thought Merryl is the villain but watching this now in my 30s, I can empathise with her more. This is a very good example that not all women are the same, some are content with being stay at home mothers and some are not, and that's okay. Also, just because the man provides for the family, doesn't mean that's all your partner is ever gonna need.
You are right the movie 🎥 does try to show what Joanna’s motives might have been keeping her from being the villain so much as a woman who is the victim of social expectations and her husband not understanding her or her needs until too late
Exactly my thoughts!! But she did work, she did not stay at home. If I remember well, they were both commercial designers. Wich means she worked twice harder than him: cooking (the kitchen scene shows he doesnt), house chores, feeding the family and keeping up with her career. He did not "provide", he just lived his own life with a caretaker at home.
everyone always says meryl streep is the greatest meryl streep is phenomenal but I've never believed it more than in this scene right here she's just so natural! so effortless! a hollywood gem
She set the bar so high. Other Actors have done well like Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, and Julianne Moore but she showed how important it was to prove you can do more than one character instead of being typecast. Remember she did The Hours with Nicole Kidman and Julianne Moore and they are all legends as well. She was ferocious in The Devil Wears Prada and Doubt.
It's funny. The kid who played Billy (Billy? Really?) was excellent and it's obvious why he won the role. That said, he had this pig nose goyishe face while his parents both had prominent, semitic features. In a million years that kid would not come from them.
I really hated Meryl Streep in this movie. Hated her yet loved her performance. She nailed it. But in reality speaking, just saying, no mother should ever leave her child. If the marriage was bad, you don’t abandon the child you just have to do joint custody and be in the vicinity of your child. You don’t leave for 18 months and demand full custody immediately. Still…what a great movie….just afraid to eat ice cream in front of my dad ever since this movie lol
I actually have a lot for sympathy for Meryl Streep’s character to be honest. I felt like Joanna was forced to take on the mother role despite her not being emotionally ready. At the beginning of the movie when she left, she told Ted that being a mother was so overwhelming to the point where she loses patience with him. She probably thought and physically striking her son at one point but didn’t because how guilty she would have felt without it. She became mentally depressed and she probably left her son because she knew eventually she might physically harm her son, she needed to get better for herself so she can be the mother that her son deserves. You can’t take care of some else if you can’t take care of yourself first and I think that was the reason why Joanna chose to leave. But despite all of that, it was wrong and very selfish for Joanna to assumed that her actions bare no consequences and that she can come back and take her son without even considering Ted’s feelings or even acknowledge Ted’s role in raising their son without her being there. I’m on Ted’s side on this. What makes this movie so great was because it wasn’t afraid to explore the complex grey areas when it came to divorce and child custody. I felt for both Joanna and Ted’s situation to be honest and both had the right to feel what they felt and said what they said throughout the movie.
@@lourdeslinares9191 Where does it say that Ted didn't allow her to have a job? And since when did Joanna have to be alone when she could've joined a mother's friendship group?
@@davy209If she was overwhelmed, she should've called someone (such as a friend or relative) or sought professional help much earlier. Also, she should've sat down with Ted and discussed how deeply unhappy she was feeling saddled with the role of a housewife. In short, it was Joanna's choice to have a child and she bears the responsibility of raising.
It's a big flaw in the film, the lack of any negotiations regarding custody. Also, the courtroom scene, like most courtroom scenes, lacked realism. As an attorney I sit there obiecting to almost every question.
I’ve always considered the film to more of a critique on patriarchy and less about feminism. Both Joana and Ted were victims of patriarchy because their lives were devalued by the system once they’d chosen to step out of their societal gender roles. Joanna automatically gets demonized as a bad mother for leaving her son, while not acknowledging her own struggles with mental health and depression, and her desperation to seek out immediate help being the main reason why she left Ted on their son abruptly. The system had failed Joanna for pressuring her to conform to societal gender roles, despite not being mentally ready. Despite all of that, the system still considers Joanna to be a more fitting parent than Ted, because she’s the mother, and somehow biologically a better parent because of her sex. The system failed Ted when it failed to acknowledged Ted’s role as the father, or all of his hard work to raise their son by himself for almost 2 years. No woman should be socially pressured to abandoned their ambitions to wives and mothers if they’re not ready to be it don’t want to be and every father out there who are doing their best to raise their kids deserves to be acknowledged and as equals in parenting.
Not getting custody doesn’t mean you aren’t wanted or needed. The husband kept a stable home whether or not it was “motherly” is obsolete … he was fatherly continuously and that’s what mattered
I watched that movie or some of it with my dad so long ago. Darcia Narvaez’s says the best parenting environment for children is like the hunter gatherers where the whole tribe takes care of the baby and it’s never set down.
Meryl Streeps real life husband,Mike Casalle had just died when she was cast for this role because she was so fragile,and she won best supporting for this
Hoffman also kept tormenting her with that fact (he seemed to think it would get a better performance out of her). He also slapped her in the face off script in the scene where she leaves him. I never liked him after learning that. He was also her fiancé, not husband.
4:06 this is an overlooked scene. He was spot on because in the end she didn't take Billy back. But the biased court system gave her the victory. Very typical and very real.
It's so obvious that the kid should stay with the dad; The constant. You can't walk out on your kid for a year and half and then expect to rip him out of his home. Nope.
I wonder if her testimony would play out today with today's mental health crisis ? In other words would she end up with custody . Sorry if I messed up ending .
as a father, You definitely side with Mr Kramer in this situation. Streeps character feels horrible imo. Sad that she's sad in her marriage, but if she wanted her child so badly, she would of brought him along to California. No, instead, she decided to be her own woman, become a lesbian, then have a Therapist say that she should be a Mom again just like that. She has no mental Stability that would help that Child grow into a functional adult.
She had no money. Would it have been reasonable to take her child into that? So what should she have done, stayed in a miserable marriage? I knew of many women in the 70s who stayed-it made them bitter and angry. That doesn't make you a great mother either.
My father left his first wife with two young sons. Changed his SSN and left the state. He never paid her a penny of child support. She ended up getting a default judgement of divorce from him. Don't be so smug.
I think that if couples divorce and both are fit parents, they should be required to have their separate homes in the town or city most familiar and beneficial to the child/ children. The child/children shouldn’t be required to switch homes in joint parenting situations; the adults should. And none of mommy’s or daddy’s girlfriends and boyfriends allowed in that stable house. I know that sometimes marriages fail, and I don’t blame people for that, but I loathe the way the kids are forced to bear the brunt of all the instability that follows. The adults want to zoom on into new territory in geography and relationships, no matter what the kids need.
Because the divorce probably cost him a fortune as he would have paid both his and his wife's legal fees. Then he lost his job and his new job paid significantly less.
Point taken Both Joanna and Ted are selfish at the beginning. I think her putting Billy’s need for stability first and Ted sending her upstairs shows how far they have come. I also agree a lot of me me me
I love when the lawyer asks “How many boyfriends have you had? More than 3? Less than 33?”. Remember, they portray a couple that is probably in there early to mid 30s (even though in reality Meryl Streep was younger than that and Dustin Hoffman was older than that). This also was 1979, and this really shows how society has taken such a huge step downward. The lawyer is clearly implying that 3 or less would make her a respectable woman and 33 or more would make her an absolute whore. If you look at today’s dating market, a number of 33 for a woman in her 30s would only be a little over average. Just pathetic.
So, she didn't have to work and only had one child yet was fed up? I can see the pain and loneliness of being in an unfulfilling marriage with someone who is gone all the time. But she could have gotten a part time career, gone to school, pursued creative things, made friendships and built a life while still taking care of her son, who is in school half the day. Then she could find a way to leave her negligent husband in order to have a relationship. She was asking a lot.
Mothering doesn't always come naturally. I have always envied women who speak of a deep naturally bond. I loved my children, but it wasn't some kind of magical bond. When my husband and I divorced I agreed they were better off with him. Maybe it was the fact that I was always more employable than he was. I was college educated and he was a truckdriver. I also returned to work 2 days after I had each of my children because I was the bread winner. I can truly understand the feeling of I just want time off without a human hanging on me.
She had to take care of the kid mostly the first 5 years so she left the kid with him and wanted to find herself. What was wrong with leaving the kid with his dad. She thought the son was better without her. Best interest of the child. Your post was kinda sexist
I can understand Joanna’s reason for leaving her son because she needed to care for herself first before she was mentally ready to take care of her son but it was selfish of her to file for full custody of her son without even considering Ted’s feelings or even acknowledging Ted’s role in raising their son while she was away. I don’t consider Joanna as a terrible human being or even a bad mother to be honest, but she was selfish for what she put Ted through.
@@SMoneyT Y a los hombres no se casen si no están dispuestos a valorar las metas de su esposa tanto como las propias. Él no le permitió trabajar y le decía que nunca iba ganar lo suficiente para pagar una niñera. Nunca la valoró y solo queria que sea ella quien se encargue del niño. No la justifico porque también ella se dejó someter y eso afectó su autoestima ocasionado que se marche porque no era feliz con su vida y pensaba que era dañina para su hijo. No la justifico pero la comprendo.
Dear Ms. Meryle Streepe, love your acting in all movies and your handsome counterparts. Wish I could do the same. I also care to say of my private life that I would face no frightening hells below. Long way back to the Highland. love jo£.
I know this is just a movie. But christ, I have seen some real sick monsters in film and Meryll Streep's character in this movie is truly an evil bitch. She leaves her husband and child. And then while she "discovers" herself and finds a career she leaves EVERYTHING to the dad. And now that she has found herself again, she wants to take the child for herself.
The act/situation is despicable, Not the character. I don’t like.. I *think* her name is Johanna…? Either. She left her child because of her own selfish wants, But also take into account that the husband had to change because of a situation thrown at him, and wouldn’t have had it any other way had she stayed to do the heavy lifting for him. Neither of them are perfect, This is the dilemma of real relationships, ESPECIALLY when something as vulnerable as a child is involved. I’m not saying this is apparent in the movie, but so many failed relationships, most unintentionally, fall into the burden of the child. Children lack the capability and proper skills to fathom the emotional weight of a conflicted relationship. A mother and father’s relationship falls apart, and so does that child’s world. I remember when I was told by my brother my parents were splitting up. I was… 9 or 10 I think? Now every child reacts differently, I was manic. I fell apart and bawled uncontrollably. I felt I didn’t have a family anymore. Things changed permanently But I still have a family, no matter how difficult current situations are. These 2 share somewhat of a respect for each other. You wanna talk about despicable? Take that lawyer who grilled into Meryl Streep, he was doing his job, and as much as I disagree with the wife’s viewpoint and upbringing, he was a total ass wipe Nobody wins in these situations unless the child is given the absolute best life that can be provided, and sometimes that isn’t enough. Raising a child is serious SERIOUS shit. And should never be taken lightly. Didn’t mean to nag you on a comment you made 9 years ago, lol, my bad
I can understand Joanna’s reason for leaving her son because she needed to care for herself first before she was mentally ready to take care of her son but it was selfish of her to file for full custody of her son without even considering Ted’s feelings or even acknowledging Ted’s role in raising their son while she was away. I don’t consider Joanna as a terrible human being or even a bad mother to be honest, but she was selfish for what she put Ted through.
She represents the modern Americanized Westernized feminist strong independent woman who don't need no man. 80% of divorces are initiated by women, 90% if they're college educated. Men will sacrifice their happiness for a family. Women will sacrifice their family for happiness, in general. If men were the problem, then remove men and we'd see a precipitous drop in divorces, i.e. lesbians. They have an 80% divorce rate and domestic violence is 8x higher than the national average. Remove women (gay marriage) and the divorce rate drops to 25-30%. The UK legalized same sex marriage in 2014, the US in 2015, so we have many years and thousands of cases to prove these to be true.
Shows 70s 80s 90s endless Mysogony. Where men dominate women in marriage. Woman should be given custody. How many boyfriends have you had? Wtf? Good - Counsel objects to harrassment of the witness. So the marriage went sour. After 8 years. Good on her. I comsider it less my success than his. How dare he shame her for not being under control of an unsupportive husband.
She was "unhappy" after 3 years of marriage. That's when the "oh sh*t, you mean I need to be accountable for my actions, attitude, and behavior" starts. Accountability is a woman's Kryptonite. You're either a lib, a female, or a simp.
