It’s been 8 years since I was diagnosed, since then I have been on 3 different meds and each time being in them they made me feel out of sorts, disconnected mentally and emotionally and a lot of times even spiritually, I felt numb. I have gone without the meds 1 year at a time between medications and found that time I was myself, free, happy and lively, when the last set of meds weren’t working, I ultimately decided to stop taking meds altogether, I am noticing HAND taking its effects on me, but I’d much rather face this head-on and accept my fate then spend 60+ years taking meds that dilute my personality, block my full potential and make me feel as though I am robotic and not in tune with my soul. Sometimes you must take time to think about what matters more, quality or quantity? Sure my quality of life is certain to decline over time, but I’d rather leave this world as I know myself to be in my heart, rather than spend many long years under a suppression of sorts, being very spiritual and connected to my faith the decision comes easy, but everyone is different, some can make sacrifices that others can’t and vice-versa, it’s all about how you feel and understand it in correlation with your own experience living with this disease, but something that must be truly and thoroughly thought through, it’s been 8 years but I have made peace with my decision, I know what I feel is right and have no regrets or second thoughts about the entirety of this situation and ultimate decision. The doctors are caring and loving however biased in their approach, like I say, it is truly a deep consideration with one’s self and understanding which sacrifices you can/cannot make, quality over quantity, personal morals and ethics, your faith and spiritual beliefs… the list goes on, in the end you must do what’s right for you to continue living authentically, happily and abundantly - regardless of ensured health decline, this disease is just the same as Cancer, it is unforgiving, brutal and savage, until a cure becomes available I will live out my days appreciating and having deep gratitude for each and everyday that passes, cherished moments with the ones I love, performing the hobbies and leisurely activities I thoroughly enjoy while I can and quite simply making every moment memorable and beautiful.
I have had it for 11 years and I am starting to feel like I am loosing mind some.. I’ve gotten in a dark place and I’m not sure how to get out anymore. I don’t feel like myself and I feel so tired all the time. Sometimes I wonder if the medicine makes me as sick as the disease.
