Something similar happened to me as Neville said happened to him with W. Blake. Once I had a thought before falling asleep that I would like to meet Neville. I didn't think about it just fell asleep. And that night I met him. But he did not come in flesh. He was me. I felt it to the deepest level that he's I'M in oneness with me. And then "we" were consciously changing different bodies like clothes. Even what we would call extraterrestrial bodies. The last one was satan/demon and I knew it's all me. There is nothing but one consciousness playing a multiplayer game of life in the whole universe. And each player has a different level of amnesia - that's the only difference between us.
Oh Lord what do you do to me! Why you don't know me!!!!! I need to expose you for your cruelty!!!!!!! I'm a sentient being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't change and you know that!!!!! I would need to play the change!!!!!!!!! Oh I don't have any tears left, but the senseless suffering!!!!!!!!!! You never gave me bridges to walk on, or if you showed me, you crippled my legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of a being are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can I sing your praises and come near to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you see by now I'm really not like the others??????? What kind of a configuration you gave to me????????????????? Don't you see how you cripple me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to talk directly to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Embrace me finally, be there for me, lift me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even want to have to talk to you like that, I mean what is wrong with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking do something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What seems to be, is, to those to whom it seems to be, and is productive of the most dreadful consequences to those to whom it seems to be, even of torments, despair, eternal death." -William Blake
I know that you are in pain I'm too, often wondering the reasons for his actions and unfortunately we don't get to find out not on this earth anyway but we must keep going no matter what not telling you what to do but why not pray for whatever you desire however big, believe the dream and your tide will change for the better don't lose yourself in this battle because you are only screaming at yourself I have done exactly the same thing X hope this helps somewhat
