If you are unfamiliar with this show, the first 10 minutes of this video should be free of any spoilers on character relationships in case you want to watch it. Timestamps: 0:01: Schmidt eating birth control pills [s3e4] 0:21: I tore my anus [s7Ee8] 0:27: hands off my thigh dude! [s3e17] 0:33: did you kill Jess? [s3e2] 0:38: judaism son! [s1e9] 0:45: is this a bad time? [s1e17] 0:47: I'm from Chicago, thin crust pizza? no thank you. I'm from Chicago. [s2e14] 0:52: he's a jew in the desert, I don't want him to wander [s1e24] 0:59: get your own sock [s4e9] 1:08: Schmidt stop looking at me like I'm a fat kid riding a bike [s2e1] 1:13: so I decided to let him choose how he wants to die [s3e2] 1:19: we used to have a school goat named Melvin [s2e24] 1:26: Schmidt dancing [s5e10] 1:31: there may have been a possible mix-up with the cake [s3e13] 1:41: my name is Jessica Day and this is my meth [s4e6] 1:45: that is the cutest cat [s3e2] 1:57: you care about your burritos more than my children? / sex pickle [s2e9] 2:03: you're a gynecologist and a lesbian which makes you a vagenius [s2e9] 2:08: why are you watering a cactus [s1e14] 2:14: last on the list, toilet paper [s1e5] 2:19: they make shoes for your penis they're called pants! [s2e14] 2:23: where are you Schmidt? this place is fancy [s2e3] 2:27: Schmidt crumping [s4e15] 2:32: the girl I've been hanging out with is totally mature and interesting [s1e21] 2:37: you blindfold me spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm and I'll still find the g spot [s4e10] 2:42: you can go to my funeral but you can't talk, my funeral is my time to shine [s1e15] 2:47: I think someone had sex in my bed last night [s3e6] 2:51: I'm going to go through your personal drawers and see what needs changing [s3e5] 2:57: cover your ears and sing landslide [s4e6] 3:06: Winston and the ladels [s3e16] 3:13: give me the hotdogs! [s3e17] 3:18: Schmidt happens / you got some Schmidt on your face [s1e2] 3:28: we are reverse mormons [s1e1] 3:34: you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags of toilet paper that you don't even use [s1e5] 3:41: Winston and the toilet paper [s1e5] 3:44: Schmidt and the lionfish part 1 [s2e19] 3:56: Nick in the pool with Tran [s2e7] 4:01: you're walking like a disney witch [s1e15] 4:03: where is the money dude [s1e16] 4:12: Schmidt and Nick fighting [s2e4] 4:21: do not moonwalk away from me [s2e16] 4:26: Schmidt's parfait [s1e2] 4:32: a real treat / I think it's great that you dance naked to jamaican music [s1e4] 4:45: you kinda have a girl butt / you're gonna drop a badger on a priest? [s2e25] 4:55: *laughing* I have a bag of meth in my closet [s4e6] 4:59: we're going to keep it cute am I right Ferguson? [s3e21] 5:08: Jess driving [s5e15] 5:10: Nick stop singing [s4e6] 5:14: this is a real bummer [s3e4] 5:21: white guy power [s2e13] 5:26: cotton eyed joe / why did you need me for this? [s2e25] 5:34: I think I'm getting my period [s2e7] 5:36: Winston with a ski [s2e4] 5:38: outside dave doing his taxes [s3e16] 5:44: asian jess [s1e23] 5:49: shall I compare thee to a summer's day [s1e23] 5:56: but then I found this wheelchair in a ditch so I'm ready to work out [s3e8] 6:02: when you're buying christmas trees, you're really buying sex [s1e11] 6:07: Schmidt freaking out to old man passing out with gangsta's paradise playing [s1e11] 6:13: what I wonderful day, quick reminder we are dying [s6e15] 6:16: selling sponges [s4e3] 7:03: we all know that men are idiots [s4e3] 7:09: why would Bishop make a good police officer [s4e6] 7:27: Nick freaking out with a grape in his mouth [s2e12] 7:30: don't talk to me Schmidt [s1e2] 7:34: I can totally change my personality [s2e4] 7:39: it's on and poppin' [s1e5] 7:51: well no more! I'm taking my thumb out of them [s6e19] 7:55: christmas play chaos [s4e11] 7:57: everything alright schmidt? [s1e21] 8:07: I thought you were asian me, but now I realize I'm just caucasian you [s1e23] 8:12: ladies let's not do this, at least not with our shirts on [s1e19] 8:16: you might find a girl who will motorboat you right back [s1e1] 8:21: I'm not going to parade her around like some trophy, you know me. I'm not that kind of guy [s1e14] 8:32: I think I understand hunting [s1e17] 8:39: my first sushi! baby wants a tempura california roll [s1e20] 8:44: a writing class is for somebody who doesn't think lyrically in terms of like poetic words that are strung- [s2e14] 8:56: HUBABA MAH ZING ~ JUST LIKE REAL CHILI ON THEM BEANS. BEANS ARE NOTHING BUT SOGGY NUTS... [s2e3 and s5e17] 9:07: if you were a woman or even dressed as a woman, man we'd be unstoppable [s1e21] 9:12: sup! let's talk puss. [s5e16] 9:17: schmidt you have a spider on your face [s4e17] 9:24: schmidt's encounter with a singing stranger in the bathroom [s5e4] 9:34: I want to get some pudding! [s1e10] 9:37: I'm going to get hard and fix myself [s4e22] 9:42: I'M GONNA EAT SUSHI OFF MY OWN ASS [s5e4] 9:50: surfboard! surfboard! 9:57: that's a handsome sweater - that's right I love you - NO [s3e15] 10:03: goodnight winston [s1e24] 10:15: next time that happens to you, just come to me, and I'll help you keep your pants on [s2e10] 10:18: men don't talk to people they've dated unless they want sex or they're winston [s3e15] 10:24: TREACHERY! [s3e18] 10:33: I have a travel size [s1e4] 10:46: you're fist pumping right now [s2e25] 10:50: banana in the dark... [s3e22] 11:01: a white man broke in today [s7e5] 11:10: it's over. santa is dead. I killed him. AHHHHHH [s1e9] 11:14: twenty nine! [s1e10] 11:25: I need you to pee on my face - I cannot pee on your face, I'm all out - but will #2 help? [s2e19] 11:52: you'll get a bunch of horse semen! [s2e13] 11:58: I just wanted to listen to taylor swift alone [s2e16] 12:09: youths! [s1e13] 12:14: it's a japanese garden! [s3e1] 12:22: damn it! I'm the dumbest boy in school [s2e17] 12:29: you're tiny. I like it [s4e21] 12:37: man, terrorism. - *moonwalks away* [s2e16] 12:43: nothing irks me like underage drinking. It's stupid, its dangerous, it's irresponsible- [s3e19] 12:53: I kind of want to get a gun - I'm definitely sexually attracted to ladybugs [s3e3] 12:57: want to party with havarti? [s1e14] 12:58: why do you start talking like a native american when you get angry? [s1e19] 13:02: watch out because you're about to get laid [s1e13] 13:07: where are your nipples man? [s2e17] 13:09: how am I gonna study if I can't turn the pages [s4e10] 13:12: slow chicken dance [s1e3] 13:22: I could really go for some crack [s2e12] 13:28: you cut me! - well, happy anniversary [s2e18] 13:35: I'm gonna split you like a log [s1e8] 13:38: schmidt's impression of winston's car [s1e15] 13:32: I LOVE YOU [s3e14] 13:49: stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm going to fall in love with you [s5e1] 13:59: you're really sexy for a jew [s4e9] 14:06: do you think a good subject line is, "the inside of you"? [s4e17] 14:08: that's crazy, that ain't real. that's dumb, that's straight dumb, you're dumb. [s3e8] 14:15: I have the fastest butt in the land! [s1e22] 14:18: I got big thighs, I got a fat ass [s1e24] 14:27: you left us too soon, you beautiful black butterfly - YOU GHOUL [s2e20] 14:43: jess gets knocked out by a piece of wood [s2e19] 14:46: sticks and stones may break your bones but not if you're a fat kid with calcium deficiency - diabetic amy ain't gonna get no cookies on my watch! [s3e22] 15:02: gave me cookie got you cookie [s2e5] 15:26: you can eliminate their you know whats [s4e14] 15:37: FREEZE FRAME [s1e22] 15:38: walk with dignity you giant toddler [s3e19] 15:43: stop fighting! you're upsetting winston [s4e14] 15:50: I'm a squirrel, you're my nut. winter's coming, and I'm going to store you in my cheek girl [s2e16] 15:56: -also got to die - OW [s3e22] 16:00: I take dumps standing up! I'm a man! [s3e23] 16:05: everything seems to turn you on - oh look cece, a bird [s1e23] 16:12: I'm not going to lie, it was very good, but I can't date my dad [s2e24] 16:18: I do it for kenya! [s2e15] 16:25: sex is a sprint not a marathon [s1e23] 16:27: my tires were stolen by street youths [s1e13] 16:34: she's got a great ass! *throws laundry* [s5e4] 16:38: gather ye round for I have a new friend I've met in the forest- [s1e6] 16:47: oh my god it's the old man from the stairs [s2e4] 16:57: jess is delirious, I think she thinks she's a rabbit [s3e10] 17:01: nick singing landslide to the cop [s4e6] 17:12: schmidt dipping his head into a coffin [s2e20] 17:21: most people see a wall and they just see a wall, but when I look at a wall, I see like.. a goat in a backpack [s4e4] 17:30: how are you still shaving? [s5e8] 17:35: why does your bottom need to breathe? [s3e18] 17:47: nick moonwalks out of a weird situation [s4e6] 18:05: ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT [s2e8 and s2e17] 18:16: shut your mouth because what you're saying is beautiful - we're all covered in micropenises [s3e19 and s4e4] 18:25: I found garbage and it has chocolate on it [s2e17] 18:32: I felt like it was christmas morning and I was ten- [s6e10] 18:40: dude there's a sponge in your hand [s4e3] 18:48: did you register me as a sex offender? [s5e1] 18:53: nick's important meeting [s3e19] 19:11: what do you say you dirty slut? [s6e9] 19:21: oh my god a secret world! [s6e15] 19:26: if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old chinese girl [s4e2] 19:34: that's poop for sure, I was right! in your face nick! - in my face? [s3e10] 20:06: you just said you were fine - let me die [s3e9] 20:17: meep meep [s1e24] 20:27: nick dancing at the russian horse parking lot deal [s2e13] 20:35: how dare you! I'm a goofball [s3e16] 20:45: I don't know what mazel tov means but it doesn't sound good [s2e17] 20:49: party time [s2e18] 20:50: she took a 15 on my face... [s5e4] 21:02: jess dressed as donald trump [s6e2] 21:05: carving station, plates are warm, sneeze guard, kids eat for free- [s1e5] 21:13: what's the difference between me and bill cosby? [s1e23] 21:16: I think it's about time you take advantage of me [s3e19]
21:21: keep them, they're yours [s3e5] 21:27: water, the source of life [s1e22] 21:33: I can't get it in - we've all been here am I right? - I'm not going to lie this is turning me on [s1e6] 21:44: it's not just a choker, it's a story- [s3e18] 21:51: how are you going to fix a dead schmidt? [s1e7] 21:56: I can't close my ass [s4e1] 22:05: physical. education. activity. NUTS. [s3e8] 22:17: hey do you have any snacks? [s4e9] 22:20: yes! my penis is working! [s2e1] 22:23: let me get a hit of that squishy whip - I am thor and this is my hammer [s4e3] 22:38: I am the jester [s4e20] 22:48: let's take the lord of the rings references, let's put them in a deep dark cave [s1e1] 22:58: do you think that she saw me?? [s2e13] 23:12: you're my boo [s2e10] 23:27: there's nothing like the feel of a fire, fresh-baked cookie, and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs [s2e12] 23:37: ma called! the bees are back! [s4e2] 23:47: what were you doing that your naked penis was exposed to bumblebees? [s5e5] 24:00: did you just fredo kiss me? [s1e15] 24:10: nick talking about monkeys [s3e21] 24:23: do you know where I can get a pretty candle?? [s3e9] 24:25: last night when ferguson and I where in the shower - meet some women.. human women [s3e9] 24:35: what that thing do? [s2e15] 24:43: schmidt in the car with fawn [s4e12] 24:49: fawn and schmidt: faw-mit [s4e21] 24:53: this is america! wear pants! [s4e12] 24:56: code jewish code jewish [s4e12] 25:00: what is OSI? [s1e11] 25:11: winston is about to some puzzlin' [s3e1] 25:20: hey what happened to your phone? - jesus took it. [s1e19] 25:23: nick and the clown [s2e6] 25:27: prince between the king and queen of loft 4d [s3e14] 25:31: human cockfight [s1e13] 25:39: you jewish? [s4e22] 25:46: YOLO YOLO [s3e5] 25:52: I'm wearing a kimono [s4e6] 25:58: I'm on drugs [s4e6] 26:02: nick, jess and remy [s1e12] 26:09: what's the worst thing that you've ever experienced on a date? [s2e21] 26:27: sad sparrow [s1e14] 26:30: I love sunsets [s1e14] 26:33: you've got a heart of gold [s5e17] 26:43: best move push it all the way in and get it from the other side [s4e18] 26:52: he's paddling to heaven because he's already dead [s3e23] 26:58: 5-1-6 up in your lounge sucka [s4e11] 27:03: winston! [s6e13] 27:05: you can eat salad in my backseat anytime [s2e12] 27:11: coach at the playground trying to pick up a kid [s4e6] 27:15: I'd be in trouble if you were black - thank you? [s4e3] 27:19: weekly selfie with my cat - put that heat away bishop! [s4e22 and s3e22] 27:28: I wouldn't even know how to begin to steal a swag [s3e2] 27:34: why are you smiling about that? [s3e10] 27:44: it's called foreplay you tween [s5e7] 27:56: I want to be a girl's godfather [s7e5] 28:04: I'm a very good secretary [s4e5] 28:11: why aren't we having sex?- [s2e6] 28:18: taint that the truth [s4e20] 28:23: sometimes it was a little hard to chew- [s3e9] 28:33: winston has no game - she loved it then she abruptly moved away [s4e20] 28:42: what are you? a sorcercer? [s3e10] 28:55: happy newish jew year - is that a hate crime? [s4e6] 29:00: compose yourself and you make a miracle or I will squeeze one out of you like a bottle of mustard [s5e5]
I like how Schmidt called Nick to make CC jealous asking about his tushy and Nick just answers him with the utmost sincerity and concern for his well-being
At the start of the show, you think Schmitt is the best character. Half-way through, you’ll realise it’s Nick. When you’re finished, you realise that it was Winston all along.
No. Schmidt is the best character. Plus Schmidt's first is name is also Winston so in a weird way it was always Schmidt all along. _"Goosepimples!_ _Look_ _each one..._ _a memory."_ _- Winston Saint-Marie Schmidt_
“i’m worried about schmidt. he’s a jew in the desert, i don’t want him to wander.” is the best line of dialogue ever written and i will die on that hill
The dedication in tying together related scenes across episodes and seasons (ex: Nick struggling to explain to Schmidt about overly creamy feet, cutting to Schmidt lotioning his legs 😙👌)
I’ve always thought it was such a hilarious Nick thing that he’s from Chicago but when he acts as Julius Pepperwood who is also from Chicago he puts on a really thick accent for no reason
Can I just say the first time I heard Winston say "I'm not afraid of the dark Schmidt is a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander" I laughed so hard I had to stop the show
my favorite underrated winston moment is during his courtroom brown era (also he becomes a police after doing this i-) and the lady reads back the situation and in-between the nick and schmidt banter winston is read saying “the children are our future” and he mouths it 😂
There’s so much wisdom here and if you don’t think so, it’s because you’re not listening. 😊 For example, “will number 2 help?”, “if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old Chinese girl.”
6:50 this whole scene is perfect when coach says “cake” and they all look so shocked and amazed someone said something that wasn’t sponge only for him to say sponge cake🤣
This show is my favourite thing 😭 the definition of chaotic neutral 💀 I started watching it last week and I’m in love hehehe new comfort show, I’m so glad I saw someone post the ‘give me cookie got you cookie’ scene online so I found this show 🫶🏻🫶🏻
@@loraliefaucher5241I’m so glad I found it lol, Jess and Nick are both super similar to me in different ways so it’s super fun seeing my sense of humour represented in a sitcom! :]]
"Woho! It's not what it looks like my man. We' just trayna squeeze something outta my buddy, we'll be done when it comes out" 🤣 Oh yeah, that made it look better LMAO
One of the rare moments Winston was stunned by someone else’s words: “you know if you were a woman or even dressed as a woman, we would be unstoppable.” 😂
