I was in an eight year relationship where I couldn’t make my mind up if I wanted to marry my-then girlfriend. When that relationship ended, I met my wife who I wanted to marry without hesitation. In my experience, if there is a doubt about whether you want to be with someone then there is no doubt. You should just end the relationship altogether. Save yourself and that other person a ton of time and anguish.
You men always do that shiz. Waste a woman’s time and then the next woman you automatically marry. Doubtful it had to do about hesitation, more that you were already getting the cow for free. Bet you wanted to marry your then gf ar the beginning of the relationship too once. 🙄
@@BrooklynBaby100 I was getting “the cow” for free with my wife also. You are mistaken on all accounts. If the dude you’re with has a hesitation about marriage then move on. You’ll save yourself a lot of headache and him also.
Coward. Wasted years on someone when you knew it wasn’t right. But yet here you are, still thinking about the one that got away…sounds like you made the wrong choice buddy
@brooklyn3299 Women shouldn't allow that to happen to them. She was a willing participant in the relationship. Ladies if a guy isn't thinking about marriage within a year leave. Don't waste your time with someone who won't commit to you.
This is old but just wanted to say for some reason this seemed like the kindest comment to me. You didn’t attack her or her philosophy- but (correctly) understood what’s wrong with her. I hope she gets to a point where she loves herself more
there are subtle cuts in the edit during her answers, I've noticed a few uncomfortable moments that were cut off. the final result makes her sound more confident.
@@ethosterros9430 yeah, i think she is too. something is really off with her. almost like she has a drug or drinking problem or mental illness. I wouldn't trust her. she's childish
The definition is always changing. You just have your own narrow view of it. It wasn't that long ago that relationships and dating weren't even a thing. For most of human history, it was basically just a father waiting until his daughter came of age and then giving her away to the guy with the best family. Arranged marriages are still extremely common in certain parts of the world. I'm sure many of them would look at your definition of a "relationship" and scoff, the same way you're doing now
@@vikingsfan2218 I would argue that an arranged marriage is not a relationship if you are not the one choosing to be with someone. That is more just a custom or tradition than it is 2 people choosing to be together.
@@Notkdenben I get what you’re saying, but, strictly speaking, the definition of a relationship doesn’t mention anything about choice. You can have relationships with people who you didn’t choose. Like a college roommate or a family member. And I would argue that proponents of arranged marriage believe that the purpose of a marriage is to unify two families with a stable, permanent bond and create an environment that’s ideal for the rearing of children. None of that has anything to do with two people deciding to get married because they fancy one another. My entire argument is that the social standard for what is considered a “valid” romantic relationship between two people is always changing. Hell, it wasn’t that long ago that a majority of the population believed that a relationship between two, consenting adults of the same sex was “immoral and wrong” and should be banned just because they couldn’t understand it. That’s where close-mindedness always leads to. In this day and age, with the existence of things like modern birth control, online dating, and social media creating temptations everywhere, coupled with the fact that we live much longer than we used to, I think the expectation that people will get together early in life and be sexually monogamous to one another forever might be a thing of the past (in certain circles). Even if you don’t agree with me, I don’t think it’s right to completely invalidate a relationship that you’re not a part of just because they decided to structure it in a way that you wouldn’t do with your own personal relationships.
@@vikingsfan2218 you said the words yourself: “A romantic relationship”. That is something that two consenting adults agree to do. You can argue that 2 participating members are willing and consenting to an arranged marriage, but they did not make the choice for their partner for themselves. I’m not referring to their families or anything, that is a totally separate relationship in and of itself. And for 2 same sex consenting people; it’s the same. If people thought it to be “immoral” it’s because that’s based on religious beliefs. If two people choose to be exclusive, that’s that. What exactly is the point in entering a relationship with someone that you do not intend to be exclusive with? What exactly is special about that? How do go about life further down the line when children do enter the picture of the father or mother has several partners? Which person is the “mother figure” and the “father figure”? What’s the point in entertaining any relationship if the end goal is “she sleeps with whoever she wants and he does the same”. Human beings are territorial creatures and while our partners are not our literal “property”, jealousy is bound to occur to some degree. If your partner is willingly choosing to participate in other romantic/sexual relationships with others, why do you think that is? They are looking for something that you cannot fulfill emotionally, physically, or otherwise. That should tell you that you are not compatible.
@@Notkdenben People who think that homosexual relationships are "immoral" aren't always rationalizing that worldview with religion. Some people believe that because two people of the same sex cannot reproduce naturally, a sexual relationship between shouldn't be tolerated, as it goes against the laws of nature. Others are just weirded out by it, plain and simple. Sometimes it has nothing to do with religion. As for your question: "What exactly is the point in entering a relationship with someone that you do not intend to be exclusive with?" Bro idk what to tell you. The reality is that there are plenty of couples out there who are in healthy, non-monogamous relationships. You don't have to like it or believe it, but that doesn't change reality. Many religious doctrines allow for their men to have multiple wives if they can shoulder the responsibility. Plenty of non-religious people practice polygamy as well. Threesomes, swinger parties, open-relationships, multiple partners, side-chicks, etc. I, personally, couldn't handle the jealousy that's bound to arise in an open relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm going to invalidate the entire concept as a whole by saying things like "[people in open relationships] are looking for something that [they] cannot fulfill emotionally, physically, or otherwise" or "[they] are not compatible". Those are some pretty strong assumptions to be making of a relationship that you're not a part of
@@TenshinhanIsKing To me it doesn't have to be God. That works for some, but not for all. She does really need some more stability, though...regardless of the source.
You're making a lot of assumptions here lol. I know what I don't like about her. Same thing I don't like about all these comedians thinking they're super sage and introspective. 95% of them threw a hissy fit when COVID began because they couldn't go get their nightly ego boost at their stand-up gigs. They aren't harbingers of wisdom just because they're open with their thoughts. In reality, people like Nicki, like Marc Maron, like Doug Stanhope, just need to leave comedy for a year and take up gardening. Being obsessed with introspection does not mean they are actually taking any steps to combat the toxic traits that push people away.
@@thedominion6643 your last sentence hurt gave me so much to think about for the next couple of weeks. Wow, never thought of self awareness/reflection like that before.
what do you mean u dont agree lol its her opinion of herself and her relationship its literally just information about another person, u disagree with her existence?
@@jukaa1012 are you disagreeing with my opinion? You're contradicting yourself to the point I cannot take you seriously. Maybe answer your own question? Yes, people can disagree with other's view of life. You are doing it right now.
"Hookup culture" does not exist. Less people are having sex now than ever before (in terms of recorded history). You are simply being scared by the media into a moral panic so that you are easier to control.
I don’t think polyamory or open relationships ever work long term… I believe you should be free to do whatever the hell you want so long as it’s consensual (legally speaking)… But I’m not convinced they lead to long term fulfillment. And it’s sad that so many people have just given up on Love & Romance with the advent of social media & porn. Over sexualizing anything & everything.
@@Hehe-jo1zc I'll explain (no guarantee that I've understood it myself). She used to be on the fence about whether she wants a committed relationship, and had attributed her lack of commitment to guys. But then she fell head over heels for someone and realized she does want commitment to him but is afraid of being hurt if it fails. And on a sidenote, she has a (very, very common) fantasy/kink of letting her man have flings with other women, but she herself does not want to be with anyone else, and her bf has so far avoided doing other women, so they're practically monogamous.
I can only imagine that she will never be able to have a truly supportive, loving, and honest relationship. And she is so attractive, smart and funny. Truly a shame.
@@srbaruchi you are correct that is what she says… She has been socially programmed to say that for sympathetic reasons. Culture plays a big part and what we believe and how we want to be perceived.
I think if you're a guy that's into someone, hearing "you can sleep with other ppl" isn't the great thing she thinks it is to hear. Like if you're just fooling around that's different, but if its a relationship people want to feel wanted
Through this gesture she tells him "be a player dummy, it makes me wet. I want the fear of losing you all over my body and soul. I want the anxiety of thinking i am not hot enough for you make me do my best to please you every time we are in bed. I want to be far from the best you can do when it comes to women and i am allowing to sleep around since you are too stupid to show it to me any other way". Listen to what she said. She wants a guy who everyone else want but cannot have. She said if I have a show i want it to be in HBO Max. Meaning she doesn't want her show to be just any show, but a big deal. So goes for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend shows that he is a big deal by being capable of taking advantage of this opportunity. Him sleeping around signals to Nikki that her boyfriend is a guy who is craved by other attractive women but his attitude towards them is "the best i can do is just fuck you because my heart belongs to someone else". Now if he is not able to do anything with that permission it signals that he is a loser. He is allowed to sleep around but he is too lame to get sex from anyone else.
She has a serious, eating disorder, suffers from anxiety, anorexia, and malnutrition addicted to Adderall. She’s trying to reject him before he rejects her. That makes her feel safe. She’s a real hot mess.
Right, for the longest time i felt like any girl i got with I'd be elated at the idea of her being into threesomes, not only was that dumb and juvenile, but when I finally got into a real and committed relationship i honestly couldn't be less interested in it
I did it and it was a huge mistake ..what one ex said she wouldnt mind if i slept with someone for one night ..Yer that was the end of our relationship ..She sure did care .. and she was never going to not use it against me ... Talks cheap .And Niki will say anything to get a response .. Shes running out of stuff and getting 'long in the tooth ' The porn star hype train doesnt work in your late thirties sweetheart , someone needs to tell her .. All good things must come to an end ..But I love watching her old stuff still . Pity she doesnt get paid royalties for that .. Oh well .. :)
Wow she really has low self esteem when it comes to being accepting to love. She hates her self so much that she’s trained herself to be attracted to sharing the man she loves with other women. She said she’s not into sleeping with other guys while she’s in her current relationship but it’s ok and encouraged if he does. Just overall low self esteem.
She is a voyeur. That turns her on. I suspect she is into cuckolding and is not able to find a guy that is into that. Her life, her choices. But, it won't be easy for her to really find someone to share that experience with. She is into really kinky sex
@@kerryfoerster1767 and what if I saw myself in her? What if my observation of Nikki is what I see in myself? Is that being judgmental and superior or critical thinking of two kindred spirits? I think you must think before you write.
@@soulsurfer639 I've got a new Passport in the mail. Should be here within days. I've got a new full time job I start Monday. And I'm planning my finances. Been researching all of Southeast Asia every night. I'm currently in Toronto Canada. But planning my freedom
So let me get this straight: A relationship is like a sweater, “don’t stretch it out but give it back to me”? So it’s a useable goods and when you’re done with it you donate it to a thrift shop? Sounds like a relationship in this case is not regarded as sacred or valuable when comparing it to clothes shopping and trying things on. In other words, you’re replaceable as easy as buying a sweater. This is the new modern value system esteemed by celebrities who don’t esteem true value of a relationship.
I think you're romanticizing relationship too much. There will always be something selfish about it. She might have put it in a rude way, comparing partners to sweaters, but don't we all want to have a nice, comfy, warm sweater? And if the sweater becomes worn-out, small, or old-fashioned, what do we do with the sweater like that? We get rid of it. It sounds awful, but don't we all do that?
If you're avoidant, you most likely have said to family members who had a major role in your childhood: "You only accepted me or liked me when I was happy/obedient/emotionless." This one simple statement fits with ALL the core symptoms of avoidant attachment: 1. Being overly self-reliant (and in doing so, you hide your needs, emotions, problems, and acute illnesses) 2. Pushing down anger until it explodes and manufactures the boundaries you crave but can't always ask for 3. Not wanting to burden others with your problems 4. Wanting to fix your own issues to avoid looking incompetent or even getting bullied and teased 5. Numbing out emotions with self-soothing behaviors that are either totally unhealthy or pseudo-healthy (like getting addicted to working out and healthy eating) Remember ALWAYS this process is all about YOU!!! Not him. He is just a catalyst. Consider, he may be your twin flame. Look into that. After he initiated your trauma, you're now left to heal all that comes up. Major advice!!! Listen closely!!! NEVER ever CHASE HIM. He will run further and you will lose yourself more. You are the feminine. You are the divine goddess. You just, be and approve who comes along. It's a yes: you meet my requirements, or: a no, you do not. Be clear on whom you're accepting as a partner and DO NOT settle for less (or you just delay what's meant for you). Accept your struggle, anxiety, fear, sadness. Whatever comes up. It's all human, and in need of your attention. If you push it away, block it, or run from it... You will just have to deal with it later... 1) Put yourself first and foremost! 2) Fall in love with yourself. Be your own dream girl. Glow up and level up. Be the best version of yourself. 3) Rejection is redirection. Embrace the energies of miraculous possibilities. And, Any time you have a painful thought/memory/flashback/worry/belief: 1. Find the belief... 2. Write 11 DISADVANTAGES to having the belief 3. Write 11 ADVANTAGES to having belief If you can NOT find advantages then that’s EXACTLY why you're stuck!! When you finally see both sides... Your mind will STOP thinking about it 'cause it’ll be rewired. So you gotta keep at it, until you find the positive to the negative... And therefore, ultimately rewire your brain!
the most pure definition of stringing someone along. He's on the hook just like in HIMYM. "hey come and be with me. we cant be together...... right now"
there is no "the one".. there is only what you put effort into (as long as the attraction is there). she's a bit damaged, self defeating. needs some internal healing so she can present for the relationship happily and calmly.
She’s all over the place and definitely doesn’t know what to do with someone she supposedly loves. Never tell a man to be with another woman. He just might find someone who is better than you.
@@mdp4022 very true very true no one said that but sometimes love can make you fight for something where you may not necessarily have to. I don’t know their relationship so you’re right , he can gladly leave.
Sounds like maybe she'd like to sample what's on the other side. She gets a thrill from him sleeping with other women because maybe that's what she secretly is craving.
Grew up with him and he's absolutely my favorite person I've ever met. Chris is incredible. Known him since I was 5 yrs old. He is an inspiration. I struggle with alcohol and addiction and this dude would stay up til 4am with me sober for yrs "partying" with me. If his friends wanna party, he joins. If his friends wanna get sober, he goes to AA meetings with them as someone who's never tasted alcohol. He supports his friends 🤘
She's way too old to still be acting like this. This is like a college girl figuring out her love life. But in reality it's a grown woman in her late 30s
You guys with the negative comments don’t get it. Shess hilariously honest and having a string of conscious coming out of her mouth and yet she knows what she’s saying . We need nikki. I don’t take her words as advice but just a very interesting perspective .
a lot of these women are sharing men anyway; at lease she is dealing with the reality of relationships instead of the ideal....most of the cases of people harming others in relationships are over unmet expectations of ideals and not reality
Dude she's got serious self esteem issues. Don't cheer this on and normalize this relationship dynamic. She deserves better and it always leads to suffering. It's not healthy.
She seems happy with her relationship dynamic and shes able to openly share how she feels about it without contempt..to say she has self esteem issues is ignorant and self revealing tbh
As much as I want to agree the thing I learn as I age is that there really is no rulebook in relationships. There will never be 1 rulebook that both women & men can follow that will lead to a perfect relationship. Like they say…peoples changes… either be ready for the change or don’t imo
@@erichunter8230she suffered from severe depression, she’s done multiple interviews on the subject. I also suffer from depression and I am constantly told by PROFESSIONALS that I will have “bright ideas”, ideas that I believe will make me feel better, but they’re not. I don’t have anything against open relationships but I feel you should be in the right place for them… she says it wouldn’t hurt her but I would bet MONEY that she takes an L.
Just going through a divorce. Listening to this. Nikki is one of my favorite comedians. Hand down. Reflecting on my personal situation I would challenge if what a person proclaims I actually how they feel. I was made to be the badguy in our situation. Turns out nothing I could have ever done would have changed it. Maybe people should honestly look at themselves in the mirror and go to town on some questions.
I don't understand this kind of relationship, why be in a commited relationship, while dating, and sleeping with, or sexual relationships with others. What is the point, why not remain single.
She may be of adult age, but she is not at the emotional maturity level to be in a committed adult relationship. She is in no way ready for marriage. Definitely not emotionally equipped to have children.
Sounds like she has Persistent Demand Avoidance. My wife and I have this. We always gave each other permission to leave each day. It worked. We have been together for 25 years. No cheating, no open marriage.
I don't know why everyone hates this so much. Committed, monogamous relationships aren't the only relationship style that makes people happy.. just because its not for you doesn't mean its not ok
on and off = scared to break up and move on. I myself was in that situation few times in my early days. Scared you're going to be single again and will never find love. My parents always said just break up if i feel like shit. They were always right and i was too stubborn to listen. The more you try and band aid shit and try to move on, the more it went south.
It just shows you how closed minded & judgmental the general population is. Everyone is a "perfect sheep" and follow all the rules that were given to them. At least Nikki is brave enough to be honest & question boring tired traditions.
The thumbnail picture of this is hilarious because you read the title of why I let my boyfriend sleep with other women and then you look up and the dude is grinning all wide eyed and shit like a champ
She’s damaged. It’s too bad cause it seems like she likes him but a boring simple life is not for her which does happen with women especially in the entertainment business.
Also, I don’t believe she is the one with commitment issues. It’s a callous she’s formed to keep herself from getting hurt. She doesn’t believe a man will ever choose her. This is low self esteem. This isn’t fear of commitment.
All these closed minded & judgmental comments. Everyone is a "perfect sheep" and follow all the rules that were given to them. At least Nikki is brave enough to be honest & question boring tired traditions.
