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It’s funny the two oldest women on the panel gave the most insight - obviously what Whoopi said at the end, & even though it’s not for Joy, I like that she called out Alyssa’s point and said there’s more to a relationship than just sex.
Wish they would have done some decent research on this. Ethical non-monogamy means that all partners in the relationship are aware it’s non-monogamous. In other words: no cheating. And it doesn’t necessarily mean 2 people in a relationship that are sleeping around as well. It can take so many forms. You could be in a committed throuple/triad, you could have one main relationship with partners on the side, or if your partner is asexual, or ill, you could be having sex with other people to meet your needs, while still being in a committed relationship with your partner.
@@StedeBonnetsCravat every 2nd marriage gets divorced thats the problem. Wouldn't it be good to talk, communicate and find each others preferences in all place even before marriage?
I am a Polyamorous Wife and Mama. I'm also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This whole segment was dripping with judgment, but let me clarify some things. Polyamory does not center sex. Polyamory means many loves and centers intimate relationships whether they be romantic, emotional, platonic, and yes some/many are sexual. But there are also a lot of asexual and aromantic people within the polyamorous community. Sex centered forms of ethical nonmonogamy include open relationships, swinging, fwbs etc. There is also nothing wrong with consensual sex. Within the ENM community, transparent sexual health discussions are the norm with regular testing practices, barrier use, and disclosure. And yes it's ethical and consensual nonmonogamy. It's not cheating. It does not violate boundaries of relationships. And actually I was the one who brought up polyamory to my now husband. A lot of women have. And polyamory was founded in feminism/womanism. As far as the energy lol. We have a concept called polysaturation. Meaning the capacity we have for multiple relationships. Some people have higher capacities than others and then sometimes life zaps your capacity as it does within monogamy (going to school, grinding on your career). I am polysaturated after 2 romantic partners but I just had a baby so I was polysaturated with one partner. Also many view polyamory as an individual identity. So even if we aren't "practicing," we still consider ourselves polyamorous because we have the capacity and/or desire to romantically love more than one person at a time and pour into more than one relationship at a time. As far as jealousy, that is completely a normal and valid human emotion. And PLENTY of polyamorous people experience not only jealousy, but envy, FOMO, anxiety, and more. We are trying not to use "evolved" language, but we do have to grow considerably within our emotional intelligence and not everyone is committed to that growth work. Yes we are currently experiencing the normalization of ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory, but representation is how we educate, destigmatize, and normalize further. Monogamous people saying how they could never...ain't it.
We’re talking about people who are honest and everyone is aware they are in a polyamory or polygamous relationship. That’s why there are so few in these relationships, because these people know what they need and want and are honest about it. They aren’t any of the above.
People talking about ethical non-monogamy in heterosexual spaces while completely not acknowledging queer relationships that have thrived because we can balance both monogamy and ethical non-monogamy.
Bring some polyamorous guest willing to really answer probing questions on and let’s find out. The best groups would be the proud ones who think their way of living is better than all the others. 😃. I would love to know , my daughter claims to be she’s been with this couple since her college years, and they just all bought a house together last year. She gets immediately defensive and shuts down if we try to ask her things to see if she’s actually happy or just saying so. She moved an hour and a half a way and doesn’t really invite any of us up. I hope she has sense not to buy a house with them if she isn’t happy?
The thing they’re missing about polyamory is that it’s not just about sex, and not everyone is as tied to their ego and acceptance of jealousy as a reaction, instead of something to overcome. Some people are built different, and that includes the poly folk
As well, with age comes perspective about relationships. Sex can be like brushing your teeth, it's a basic human need. The fairy tale romance is really just fiction. Why do we teach children that crap?
Nah, someone's feelings are getting hurt in any polyamory relationships. Too many feelings going around for someone not to feel like they aren't getting the attention they crave.
Exactly. Plenty of stories of people assuming their partner was cheating, acting on that insecurity, finding out they were wrong, and damaging the trust their partner has for them and vice versa
You do not read or hear a lot of reports of polyamorous relationships that were successful despite having jealousy. If you are insinuating that jealousy can have the potential to impede relationships whether it’s a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship, you are better off just staying in a monogamous relationship. Dealing with jealousy from one partner is more likely to be better than dealing with jealousy from multiple partners.
Yeah but if they’re monogamous, they’re not openly sleeping with others. Jealousy is justified in this case. They are openly cheating on the person they claim to love. It’s abusive to women, and men can use “being evolved” as an excuse to use women without them objecting. Having no impulse control makes you no better than an animal. And you obviously have no idea what real intimacy is.
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
Seriously, instead of speculating and joking about it and being cynical about what you think people are capable of, why does The View not have actual polyamorous people on who can speak about it and their communities. Jeez.
I love the women of The View, but this is one topic they all get SO wrong and then giggle like children. The ignorance! Why not actually get curious and one day bring on someone who is polyamorous /ENM and can speak to it with authority and shed light? And I don't mean the thing that whole 1 man 2 women the media is obsessed with. I would recommend an expert like Jessica Fern who wrote the book Polysecure.
It’s always interesting to me with these talk shows is they speak on topics they have no first or second hand experience in with so much certainty. How about you invite on at least one person who is within the demographic of what you’re speaking about so you don’t speak from ignorance possibly further perpetuate stereotypes and possibly do an injustice to the people you’re speaking about. Especially when they’re not going out of their way to understand how someone else may be able to do something they can’t, and reminding people there is nothing wrong with that
100% it’s almost seems this segment existed purely to perpetuate stereotypes and harm. If they had a poly person featured to speak, there’s no way half of the lazy, harmful rhetoric they were speaking would’ve come out straight to their face. All they wanted to do was speak down on people for their lifestyle and it clearly shows.
The thing is, non monogamy is not for everybody and that's ok. It takes a certain type of mentality to actually be ok with it. Not everybody sees life like that. Some people are just different and it works for them. So more power to them
Btw, polyamory is not the same as non-monogamy, which seem to be getting confused by the ladies and in the comments. I would love for The View to have guests in polyamorous relationships to help educate us, to learn from their experiences what works and what doesn’t work, and how they make it work.
@@dante6985 that is a finicky and debatable topic. Some people claim to be polyamorous because they fit a form of non-monogamy. Others are polyamorous by orientation. This is a very complex topic, but what I can say is that polyamorous people will always be most comfortable in non-monogamous relationships.
@@elisakrivas Appreciate the response. Here's my thinking: all ethical non-monogamy arrangements (not orientations) consist of agreements where all partners are aware of the terms of the relationship which exists outside of romantic / sexual monogamy. Ere go, an "open marriage" (where both partners agree to be sexually and / or romantically non-monogamous) is part of this, as is a 'polyamorous' grouping (where partners agree to have more than one mate, by definition), (as are swinging, "monogamish," and polyfidelity arrangements.) Just as long as both / all partners are aware and consent to romance / sex outside the bounds of monogamy, it's an ethical non-monogamy arrangement.
@@dante6985 the definition is about to change. Polyamorous people are fighting it. We've BEEN fighting it. Polyamory is an orientation, not relationship structure. You can ask polyamorous people themselves. Poly = many ≠ one Amory = love or ability to love So, polyamory = ability to love many people, but not only one person We're trying to revert the definition to the original roots. Again, I'm not the only polyamorous person saying this, you can ask any polyamorous oriented person and they'll tell you this. There are ambiamorous people, of course, who claim to be polyamorous because they don't know ambiamory exists, so I'd caution to ask SEVERAL people and you'll see this yourself.
@@elisakrivas Thanks for clarifying. Like many (I suspect) I've never been "in love" with more than one person before so some of this is hard to wrap my head around. If polyamory is an orientation, is a three person grouping a "throuple"? 4 a "quad"? Is it possible to be in a throuple without being polyamorous? Thanks!
You should always ask someone why they do things , before you speak about it , it will allow for fairness and a good judgment of character directly to be had. Instead of gossip that is usually he said , she said , truth mixed with not listening after a certain point , and so many things It also depends on if the person is male or female , doesn't it???? Is there going to be a explanation for the non sexual relationships and things that happen , that lead to certain circumstances and situations????
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
@@kenofken9458 fair. But this discussion isn’t going away. The ladies are going to learn very soon… For them I suspect it will be when they find out how much non-monogamous people love to talk. 😱🤣
You made the mistake of thinking in monogamous terms. Can a single parent raise a child? So what if three parents raise a child? You think that's going to be harder, or easier?
This is such a wasted opportunity to educate people on lifestyles that are different than their own. I’m disappointed that the panel didn’t have pro-polyamorous talking points. Hearing what these ladies had to say seemed really ignorant of the pro arguments. One of the big reasons why people seek pleasure outside of their marriage/ relationship is because their needs are not being be met. There plenty of married people who are OK with their spouse having a physical relationship with another person or two. It doesn’t mean that they have a horrible marriage or relationship. In some instances, this actually bring couples closer together because they can truly be honest with how they feel about their relationship. Being honest is way better than sneaking around and getting a divorce.
This shows how society brainwashes us into thinking monogamy is the best (even sometimes "the only good") way to be (happy) in romantic relationship, That jealousy is something to avoid or "listen to" instead of something to work through and free yourself from, And how they do not take the time to learn about the topics they are going to talk about prior to filming these shows (which is a real shame for the audience that end up being misinformed and reinforced in their limiting beliefs and conditionings).
It's so exhausting to be with multiple people because the intimacy levels are significantly reduced. Having worked with many people who tried these open relationship systems it created multiple problems for them. None were happy in the end. There is very little time to engage with one person in a deep and intimate way and then to do that with multiple people reduces the quality of intimacy that you can give to your main partner. It also creates an opening in a relationship where one person feels like they don't have to put in the work and solve problems when they arise because they distract themselves with other partners instead of facing.and resolving the issues that arise in the relationship.
Also: when two people have an emergency at the same time, the partner will not be able to be there for one person. I would not want that for myself; a man who has his attention elsewhere and doesn't show up, when I need him.
Interesting topic but I don’t get why they don’t have an expert in something like this come and talk on the panel about how it works and the reasoning behind it
That’s the inference, but the reality is that more women are starting to discuss this as a topic, hence why the ladies of the view picked up on it. This wasn’t discussed for the gays, although it might have been interesting to have one on the stage at that moment to get his perspective. Most of you might surprised, but this is even hard for most gay men to wrap their head around. But again…..most LGBTQ people take their cues on dating and relationships from…..wait for it…..straight people, since you’re all such experts and all, making all them babies and whatnot 😂 😅
I'm not as sure about polyamory and political affiliation, but I can tell you that between half and two thirds of swingers are politically conservative. HUGE numbers of them are Republicans and Trump fans.
@@kenofken9458 Monogamy is a conservative value. Polyamory is a liberal value. The political affiliation is there, and most Trump supporters are Christian, so they’d be against doing satanic acts.
Ethical non-monogamy includes open relationships as well as having several partners. Open relationships tend to be more common. Couples that have a threesome every now and then are considered to be in an open relationship. The way it’s supposed to work is you talk about boundaries and set rules of sleep overs, dates, alone vs together, emotions, transparency, off limit people, etc - ofc there are those who are toxic and abuse the situation.
@HH-gv8mx very true,,it usually goes in one of 4 directions. 1. the woman becomes the town bicycle while the man cries himself to sleep every night,,,2. the man agrees to it only so he can find a replacement for his current partner,,,3. As soon as the open relationship is proposed there's an immediate breakup,,and the 4th and most rare is it works out fine for both parties,,but even in those cases if there's children involved its not uncommon for the kids to grow to hate there parents,,,just remember the most fundamental rule of open relationships,,if it's not established in the very beginning and comes up out of nowhere down the line 95% of the time the one proposing it has already cheated or has someone lined up already
@@righteouslydefiant5362you forgot the fifth scenario and the more likely scenario. The woman sleeps with other people until she can replace the guy. Happened to a political RU-vidr named Destiny. Poor Tom…
Problem that y’all don’t wanna see….. Talk talk talk. You guys say “talk about boundaries” like it’s this magic wand that will fix everything. But there is the over world , what people can see and hear. And there is the underworld. The place of hidden meanings, reading between the lines, trauma and survival tactics. Women speak often in the under world, and are great guides into it. Traumatic ones too. You can talk about boundaries until you’re blue in the face, but what’s going on underneath? What happens when someone breaks a boundary and gets away with it?
they focused way too much on there sexual part of a relationship. I tried dating a few people who were in a poly relationship just because I wanted to see if it was something I could do and I knew it was not for me. To have a true and honest poly relationship is a hard thing and I think there are definitely a lot of people who say they are but just use it to sleep with whomever or so they dont have to commit as much. The true poly relationships take a lot of work but there are people out there who have the ability to love more than on person and they have the time to commit to it. I cannot .
That “ability” doesn’t exist in the way they say it does. When you’re in love w someone there is only one person, it’s a biological thing so that it keeps people together to procreate so it’s how the brain works for this reason. Sure I can love my parents, partner and children at the same time but it’s not romantic love.
@@amamuffinI have a friend who is in a poly relationship for years. It totally works well for her, shes happy and healthy in them and they are all great at communicating and being on the same page. different people work for different things. just because you dont think it could work doesnt make that a fact lol
2:36 Alyssa is correct, I've been in relationships, the person who claims they want polyamory the most usually is the most jealous when they see a hint of connection between the other individuals
Whatever works as long as both people in the nucleus of the relationship agree to it. I will say it’s not easy to navigate but I’ve seen it work plenty of times when one’s own insecurities does not come into play.
I experimented with ENM nearly ten years ago and decided I’m more into monogamy. However, I definitely understand why people do it. The fact that the ladies interchange ENM and polyamory, display that they have no idea what ENM actually is, and still judge it is so cringey.
My best friend is non Monogamous and it was the best decision she’s ever made. She lives with her boyfriend and they date other people. It works for them.
As woman in a polyamorous marriage that she initiated from the start of the relationship, it’s actually wonderful. Polyamory is not about having sex with different ppl. It’s about understanding that you’re realistically not gonna be everything for your partner and being genuinely sincere about them being able to get their needs/wants met. My partner is not my property. If he needs/wants something I cant provide, I encourage him to find it elsewhere and vice versa.
You are full of BULL !!!!, join a commune then. It's generally understood, married couples are not each other's property, (at least it should be anyway), but 2 individuals as equal partners in a union/ relationship building a home, family, and a life, and hopefully a happy life, behind closed doors. Their own. Respect, unconditional love, understanding being just a few of other the key ingredients to a happy homelife with all its and life's overall challenges, trials and tribulations that may arise during one's lifetime. A close partnership!!! No woman should or need to degrade herself sharing a man with multiple other women, (the biblical times LONG gone), to feed one man's ego. Besides, I do not know of any woman married to 10 men. Do you? And it mot being about sex,....try again, my dear. Sex is a big part of it, though he may want you to believe it's all about the differences of his women natures, intellect, and whatnot he so desires all about the sexual aspect, ...yeah right, I have a bridge in London I could sell to you!!! 4:29
So what happens when you are relegated to third or fourth favorite in terms of what you provide your partner? What if he wants to get divorced from you and married to his new favorite who meets his “needs” better? You okay with being a side piece to that new marriage?
Pretty ignorant and lack of awareness of that ignorance from some of the cohosts. They said it themselves, theyre insecure/jealous. The fact they think they ppl would be spending YEARS to pretend like they weren't jealous in their poly-relationships is anything short of prejudice.
Actually, a lot of “cavewoman” cultures were very egalitarian, and even matriarchal. It wasn’t till the rise of agriculture that you saw ideas of possession and stuff like patriarchal religions start to come up, and the idea of monogamy being enforced. (But usually only for women, men could still do what they wanted, without fear of repercussion.)
My god... This show is supposed to be about healthy discussions and everyone is allowed their opinion, but seriously ridiculing and laughing like this? Sunny was right polyamorous people are indeed more evolved, this isn't about getting laid as much as possible this is about consenting adults who have enough love to go around. To share your innermost self with more than just one person and emotionally evolve themselves away from egocentrism, selfishness and jealousy. They do NOT deserve to be laughed at and especially not by these women who are usually a lot more openminded than this, maybe they should check themselves a little better in their monogamous righteousness. I'm disappointed in you guys...
Polyamorous relationships aren't necessarily sexual in nature. I essentially share my best friends' husband with her. I don't sleep with her husband. I don't need him for sex. But I do enjoy hanging out with him- going to concerts and to movies. She is a bit agoraphobic and doesn't like leaving the home. For years, my mother shared her old man with another woman because the other woman satisfied his libido, while she made sure he had a safe place to come home to. There were rules and the three of them followed them until the other woman didn't and she was dumped. A few months later, her old man brought home another woman, who agreed to the arrangement, and they were together for several years. It worked.
Sounds like there is always a +1 in this situation and they are sidepieces with extra responsibilities. In both your scenarios there is a "main couple".
Monogamy is highlighted because it is good for taking care of kids and prolonging the species. For those who don't want kids, no need to be monogamous.
Huh? Marriage is a legal construct for tax purposes, certain government entitlements and property rights. It has nothing to do with pregnancy or children. All legal benefits exist for children whether the parents are married or not.@@rahelkamber4839
Wow this panel is pretty out of touch and clearly has done little to no reading/research on the toping of poly or ENM.. kinda sad that this is broadcast to such a wide audience who trusts their opinions.
Because some people don't know how to be loyal .. in my experience. It call I don't know how to keep my pants or panties on ..just one more bs in new clothes...lol😅
Some of these comments from the ladies are coming across very condescending and close minded. Being a gay man, open relationships and polyamory are quite common in our community and it works for a lot of people!
OK my hubby and I have come to a agreement I can do what I want with who I want and so can he. This came about for a lot of reasons don't judge what you don't understand...
Been there. Done that. At the end of the day… I’m over it. But I believe in the freedom. But it never ends well. It’s really weird and difficult thing to balance. Not worth the headache
How many times has this panel recycled the polyamory topic? It’s always the same conversation. Except at least this time Whoopi said something to close out the segment, instead of silently side eyeing the rest of the table.
Honestly I was with a married lady, who had an executive job and kids and she had a husband, a boyfriend and a side piece (I was the side piece lol) it didn't bother me at all, but for me it was more about the sex, and I wasn't jealous etc. I had dinner and hung out with both the husband and boyfriend and it was all good. But I'll be lying if I said, I was in love with her or something like that.
Given the number of paternity tests that prove the man is NOT the father - they might want to re-think the idea a MAN invented this non-monogamy schtick.
Sunny said it best when she said some are just more evolved or progressive (even though it feels America is more conservative). You have to be a secure person and realistic to human nature and the needs of others to be in an open relationship. Every couple is different and there is no right or wrong. It’s what works for them even if it wouldn’t work for you. Also I’m with Cameron Diaz in wanting separate bedrooms 🙌
Not evolved. Perverted and have no impulse control. None of those people would ever experience true intimacy. Also, it’s abusive to women but favors sleazy men.
As someone who is dating again after eight years and a divorce, it’s so common to come across people who are ENM on dating apps. Some even post photos on their profiles with their spouse/partner. It makes me feel like retiring from dating. It’s just about sex.
Theres a difference between swinger couples aka open relationships and poly relationships. Alot of those ads on dating sites are the first one. Poly relationships are very different. And its not all about sex, i have a great friend who has had that situation for years and its a happy healthy situation for her.
well that was a load of nothing. i understand its not for everyone but ive been around a polyamorous trio and it is not just about sex. but societies views on relationship has been so distorted nowadays that id say its a concept that works better with an old fashioned emotional connection which is why Joy and Whoopi were able to look at it more openly. you need to look beyond sex and understand you are a PARTNER to the people in this relationship. not to dismiss the traditional relationship but i think it does take a more developed connection to make a poly relationship work whereas with the trad relationship (as you can see from sunny, Alyssa and Saras response) we become quite possessive of our partners out of fear that the connection isnt strong enough.
wow, what if some couples want to explore with other couples? Is that called Poly? Is that called cheating? does it make it a lifestyle? Does it make you a swinger? or someone exploring together?
Wow. This isnt a discussion, this is just people disagreeing with it. Jealousy can happen in any type of relationship, poly people have to look at themselves on a deeper level and overcome our base feelings when they don’t serve us. There is more than one way to love and these ladies rolled their eyes at something they clearly didn't take the time to understand.
It is difficult to watch this usually educated and open-minded panel pull faces and generally dismiss this conversation while clearly not being educated about it. As the panel wouldn't pull faces when discussing the queer community, the same respect should be afforded to people choosing to build their lives, relationships and families within a poly framework. Polyamory is so often conflated with swinging, promiscuity and one-night stands, when in fact, there are as many versions of polyamory as there are monogamous relationships, ethical and otherwise. Many people have committed to long-term, thoughtful and ethical poly relationships.This clip underlines a clear need for more respectful conversations, discussions, education and representation on the panel, the same as is afforded to LGBTQ+ conversations. Remember, it is possible to accept the way other people love and live, without feeling you are obliged to follow suit, we don't have to take other people's choices as an affront to our own. And that is all I have to say about that. x
I like how candid the hosts are about their inner emotions, they are all articulate, no matter who critisizes or mocks the show or attacks the hosts. 😅you contribute to humans being more in touch to their mental health by talking and saying things out loud that gets people thinking about stuff for themselves, it is like an open group therapy session. Keep it up maybe have a guy guest host like you do every once in awhile. Thanks for being the voice and the view for awhile now😂🎉you make people engage their minds about diverse topics. Thank you all for the context.
Every once in a while, I have the misfortune of seeing a clip from The View. I always assume their commentary and analysis couldn't possibly be worse than the last clip I saw, and I inevitably seem to be wrong. I worry about people who watch this sort of garbage and think they're learning things.
Most tribal cultures were polyamourous...with the women working together to deal with one man. First Nations in "so called Australia" were a few functioning Matriarchy before the colonisers arrived and it was more like...no sis you deal with him tonight 😅🖤
