this, THIS here is why i’ve kept going. knowing there’s people who are willing to listen when we call out for help is the reason im still here. so I can listen too. thank you for this. -garrett
And really, who does? Showing support isn't all about knowing how things work or how to fix them, it's the means that matter and not necessarily the end.
‘How things work’ can be figured out… but only if they have the will to learn, and that doesn’t come without care. Learning how these things work can be part of the journey for anyone that loves someone that transitions, and it means that the transition will change them a little too. It means it’s a shared process, and that’s beautiful.
I love normalizing the uncertainty and the struggle. It’s tough as all get out to be trans, and it needs support! It’s *also* a tough transition for a parent who didn’t realize that this was how their child’s truth worked and is overwhelmed trying to figure out how to do the right thing. Both can be true, and it isn’t useful to try to play “who-has-it-worse-and-whose-feelings-are-somehow-invalid,” despite the latter being far too common in certain circles. People are gonna screw up; they’re human, and they don’t know what they don’t know. Having the grace to accept them for who they are and where they are and to try to help them to grow with you, as you take that journey together is beautiful, and it deserves to be encouraged.
Lost a kid at my school she was buried under her dead name. She jumped in front of a train. I didn't know her well but it still hurts all us queer kids at school.
As a trans teen (I turned 18 in June so I don't know if I count anymore), you all got this and we as a community will always support the REAL you, not some dumb legal bs.
I came out to my mother yesterday. Due to recent developments, I might be an uncle. She was just… relaxed. She told me to find someone clothes I wanted to wear, to try what I want, and let her know if I want to cut my hair. I’m safe. I’m happy. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Mum.
As a mum, I am so glad. I am so angry at people in my generation who should no better. Love your children, love then for them, not who you imagined then to be when they were born. Just love them.
@@DivineZoologist congratulations on coming out! I’m so glad you have a compassionate mom who loves you unconditionally! Many of my daughter’s friends are trans with conservative parents, and I try to be their surrogate supporter! There’s nothing more important than knowing you’re supported. 🫶🏼🏳️⚧️
i care!! i dont even know you personally, but i do know that you are deserving of love and care and you MATTER. please stay with us, you have so much time left to truly grow into who you are. we will all make it out of this mess eventually, we love you!!
I’m wishing you the best. Know that there are people who do love you for who you are. If there really aren’t people around you who cherish you, then you just haven’t met them yet, but they are out there and will be overjoyed when they finally get to meet you. You have a community that has your back, people fighting to give you a better future. I know it’s rough right now, and in all honesty it’ll probably be a while before it feels much better, but there’s a bright future ahead, just hold onto hope and you’ll make it there. I’m rooting for you.
I do, you are loved and worth it. You can do it, and you are strong and willed enough to face whatever challenge is bothering you and coming out even stronger than before❤
I work in the school corporation as a trans woman and I can't even call a student a different name without paperwork and permission. Even if it's a simple nickname. I really hope this reaches more people. We need it, desperately.
So weird to hear that from a German perspective. What would happen if you use nicknames and preferred names that aren't legal names? Also... school corporation??
@@inspace9609 I can not call a child named Christopher "Chris" without express permission. It's still called a corporation even if federally funded. I work in Public.
I know! I know it's a happy story but it broke me too because my Dad never knew that I was trans. I crave so deeply this moment, but I'll never get to have it. So it hits even harder. On top of being unsure if he would of been accepting of me. I hope everyone gets to experience what was in this video. I felt that hug in my soul.
My grandpa was born in rural Missouri around 1930; he talked country, he acted country, and when I was going through my transition and apologized to him for making things so confusing in regards to my identity, he looked at me with a big smile and without missing a beat, he said "Whoever you wanna be, whatever you wanna be, whoever you wanna love, whatever you wanna love like, you'll always be my grandkid, and I'll always love you no matter what" Everyone needs and DESERVES that kind of support. Parents and folks who say "Well I was raised differently" or "I'm old fashioned" or people who try to excuse family members' bigoted opinions with the same statements, I can speak from personal experience when I say that doesn't mean JACK. It doesn't matter how they were raised, what matters is how they raise and support YOU
when people say "it's how I was raised" or "they were born in a different time," I try to remind those people that plenty of other folks their age don't act bigoted, and they were raised in the same exact time period. Sending love to all my trans siblings 💕
My Grandma said almost the same thing, verbatim. I wasn’t yet fourteen (CAH). In the EIGHTIES. OP, I can’t thank you enough for this. Every note is pitch-perfect!
"I was raised differently" and "I'm old fashioned" is codeword for: "I don't want to adapt." Whether it's because they were already struggling early in life and are bitter about it, or they legit don't care, is all I can think of as to why they're being this stubborn to change.
@@Echo81Rumple83 Yes it is. Because in My time. Women were treated so Bad they Made Joke Movies about it. If my Grandpa said that then My reply is OH when women couldn't vote Own anything and were still getting abused with Next to No Punishment. Hmmm. F off Grandpa
… this reminds me of my own story with my trans best friend, and soon to be my “mate of honor” in my wedding (to remove gender entirely, my wedding party are going to be called my “brides mates”) I have known my best friend since I was 18 mo. He had to be a few months younger as his birthday is after mind, but sufficed to say, we were both just around 1 year old when we both met in preschool. And we have remained friends ever since, even when I moved schools due to mental health issues I was dealing with in 4th grade, and when he moved from our home state in 5th grade. We’ve been thick as thieves ever since, and he has been my greatest friend- he was one of few people that remained my friend after my many extreme autistic outbursts in elementary school. I always knew he would be the head of my wedding party, and none of that changed when he came out to me and his family and my family after high school. I just quickly changed the gender of the wedding party, and since I struggle with having female friends anyway, this would give me an excuse to allow guys in my wedding party as well. Anyway, all that aside, it’s safe to say he’s my oldest and dearest friend. And when he came out to me and my family, I immediately went into trans ally mode and began using his proper pronouns (at the time he/him, now he/they). I struggled of course, I’d known him around 20 years by that point as a girl. But he was my friend, and in fact I had been recommended some trans related videos on RU-vid around the same time so I was well versed already on the importance of proper pronouns and how essential they are. With that in mind, in my rush to ensure he was gendered right, I ended up just switching everyone’s gender in my head. It wasn’t on purpose, it was just I wasn’t used to using he/him pronouns for him, so I just kind of… ended up using incorrect pronouns for everyone because his pronouns were the opposite of what I had previously used. Eventually this tapered off and I could use he/him without misgendering everyone else mentioned in a sentence. But at the time I had begun ensuring his pronouns were correct when I talked about him, his parents were saying that they were do used to seeing him as a girl, that they’d known him as a girl for so long, that it’d be hard for them to change their ways. This is where my friendship with this person comes into play. Remember, I’ve known him since we were both around a year old, meaning that I had only known him *1 year less* than his parents, and I *still* was properly gendering him. I had done amazingly according to him, and with that in mind, his parents didn’t really have an argument against that. Mind you, I have also known him long before my memories began to properly form, as a girl, so that makes it even harder for me to shift to viewing him as a guy, as it’s so ingrained into how I know him and what I’ve seen him as my whole life, even the life that is lost to time. And even if you take into account his parents knowing his sex before he was born, that’s still something that takes place pretty late into the pregnancy, meaning, at most, they’d known him as a girl maybe a little more than a year more than me, but surely not 2 years. So sufficed to say, we’ve all known him about the same amount of time, and I was still really good about his pronouns. And I think that’s really something I can be proud of. I was better about his pronouns, and quicker on the uptake of shifting them than his parents. He’s my best friend, so to know I was an example against his parents about changing genders when it came to him, really means a lot to me. I love him to the moon and back and look forward to having him in my wedding party early next year.
Absolutely. Self proclaimed “alphas” that talk about being number 1 and being the best and shit like that have no idea. No clue on what a real alpha is. A real alpha protects and cares about others and accepts people for who they are. They’re adaptable and can change when they need to so they can help others. They put others first. Real alphas are secure with themselves and don’t need others to tell them they’re less of a man because of this or that. They can indulge things that are considered feminine without worrying about it affecting their sexuality or gender. And they don’t care if another individual has a different sexuality to them or doesn’t identify with their birth sex. Insecure cowards need to constantly tell other people how much of a man they are and they do that by bringing others down and trying to force their own opinions on the rest of us and demand we all live like them.
Great to hear your grandma is so supportive. Idk how to phrase this as english isnt my first language but it’s refreshing to see that religious people can fit new views in their religion too! The people who claim gay=sin etc. just use their religion to justify their personal hatred and they’re always the loudest.
God sent him a daughter. She just got put in the wrong packaging is all. She’s still the same kid she always was. She’s still that same kid he promised to love and protect until his dying day.
@exilestudios9546 😂😂 Prices went up, sometimes packaging gets messed up, there's a lot of souls to ship out!!! I'm using this to explain it now- "It's like paying for prime shipping as a Christian but still getting the wrong package. Maybe God doesn't make mistakes but his workers can" lol
@rochellestarr9538 ??? The heart is...neither male nor female. It's an organ....you can take a heart from a man and if it matches it can be transplanted into a woman to save her. So...argument nullified lol
@@m.t.443 The heart is love,in a skirt or in a suit.The heart is not just an organ.It is what makes us human,or in some cases,the lack of makes us something else. As you attempt to lecture a woman who lost her grandpa to a hate crime Her 6 year old to cancer And her best friend to Aids About the HEART..... Really?
I'm a straight cis male too and I'm with you on this. There is nothing wrong with being who you are and expressing who you are unless you are being mean and rude about it. Just simply existing and matching your appearance with your identity is not doing that.
Right there with you guys. Except it wasn't just *a* tear. My father and I ended up distant for too long. Fortunately that was fixed before he passed. We should value, support, and love our children. Family should be a safe harbor in this tough world.
I can understand what parents mean when they say their kid transitioning feels like they lost their kid, but that feeling is nothing compared to the feeling of actually losing your kid. The kid that got 1st place with Dad is still there, she's just growing into her own.
My fear, too, was loosing that baby, toddler, sassy kid that I loved and had watched grow up. But when I really thought hard about it, I realised that the only thing that was changing from my perspective was the labels. And it wasn't the labels that I loved and cared for, it was the person behind those labels. And now that person is more comfortable in themselves, and that is really what I wanted for them anyways.
I’m trans male and my adopted dad is amazing to me. I’m scared that if I come out he’ll abandoned me. I have issues over that due to being adopted. He’s joked before about “replacing”. Me and I’m so scared it won’t be a joke anymore, he’s getting old and stuck in his ways and I’m scared one day it will be too late and he can no longer love me.
In the past, my paents were very transphobic. They wouldn't hear me whenever I said about liking 'girly' stuff. And so I stopped trying to tell them about this. I'm a teenager now, and after a long process of coming out, having tough conversations, family therapy, arguments, they support me. They let me wear the clothes I feel comfortable in. They call me their daughter now, they call me by my preferred name. I am so privileged to have parents who turned around and changed, and my heart goes out to all that don't have the same privilege I do. If they won't accept you, just know that at least I will :) You're valid and loved 🏳️⚧️🤍
This has been my experience as well. My parents (especially my dad who is very Conservative) were very Transphobic and were awful when I was first coming out (at 22 and again at 29) Now after some very rocky years I can confidently say at 34 that my parents support me and love me as their daughter which is crucial as I begin taking the more serious and concrete steps towards my transition. To all Trans people: You are loved and it DOES eventually get better. Please hold on. Your life matters. Trans Lives Matter. Trans Joy Matters. Keep living and keep shining.
How big is the probability of things working out this way? I'm kind of in a similar situation right now: I showed my mom a non-binary person and said "I want to be like them", but she got upset and was sad and worried for me. So I just never brought it up again. She is the most important person for me, I don't want her to be sad, but if I tell her, she'll think something's wrong with me. She thinks this is an illness, either of mind or of body, but still this means something is wrong with me. And no one but me can try to convince her otherwise, because we live in a country where being trans is illegal, and basically no one knows what non-binary people even are. I can live like this. I can keep it a secret, and use my chosen name and they/them pronouns only on the internet. It is a bit tiring, getting deadnamed every day, but I'll be fine. I won't be fine if my existence makes her sad tho. So I want to ask, do you think it's worth it to try to explain things to her?
my friend took her life after her parents failed to support her. her name was Gwendolyn and she’s buried under the wrong name. i miss her and i loved her so much EDIT: holy crap, that's so many replies. Everyone is being so kind in the comments. Unfortunately her grave is very very far away from me now so I cannot do much. my girlfriend is trans and i'm doing everything in my power to keep her safe now. i know they're in danger.
I took in a kid who grew up in an abusive home. This kid started calling me Dad. Then this kid came to me and said, "My pronouns are she/her," and I just hugged her. I am the proud dad of a trans daughter. This video had me in tears because I know my daughter would never have gotten this kind of acceptance from her biological father, and I don't know why. It isn't hard to say, "You be the you that you were meant to be, and I love you just the same."
As a proud straight cis dad of an awesome adult trans and gay son, let me say to other parents: Just love your kids, dammit, without reservation. You mean so much to them, so return the favor.
That is me. When my kid was in HS, they were going through so much mental trauma. First it was a pronoun thing, but going away to college and meeting others they realized they weren't a woman. He is now transitioned and is so much happier and grounded. He knows and is who he is supposed to be. If he'd wanted to be green with a tail I'd be good with that, too, because he is happy and for me that is all that matters.
I fought with every fiber of my being to save my 6 year old.I lost him to something I could not fight against.I cant imagine losing a child over something you can.
More people need to hear this When I came out to my grandma, she didn't blame me, but still feared my safety and started going down the list of who in the family would be most and least supportive, who I was safe ro be me around At least on my dad's side (divorced parents) I feel loved and safe, not so much on my moms side, once I start my transition (which something keeps me from doing so, idk what mental block is in my brain, probably ADHD/Autism/depression) I fully expect to cut contact with that side of my family, it hurts, but being in the wrong body hurts more
@@AlaskanHuzky making bigotry illegal would not work. You can't just control hate. You have to learn to live with it while fighting against it. Hate will never go away, but we can always push it back and make being hateful harder, we need people to just be more empathetic and understanding. We need to have discussions, not silence people.
@@AlaskanHuzky being a bigot who is most likely just an uneducated person who needs the proper information to make better judgments, and being a murderer, are 2 completely different things that come with there own separate reasons for happening. You're delusional if you think they're remotely similar, I'm saying that, and I fully support the LGBTQ+ community. It's just facts, man. People understand murder is bad if you aren't actually insane or don't care about the consequences. People who are bigoted towards trans people often see no issues with their way of perceiving the trans community and their ideals. That's why we need to have a discussion instead of silencing others. If we can understand why they think that way, we can more easily find a way to convince them they're wrong. We do NOT need to just throw more people in jail. That's enough of a problem as is.
@@AlaskanHuzky but people still murder i agree their shouldn't be bigotry but if you start limiting speech there the that leaves a gap to more speech being banned and that could lead to lgbt speech being banned i hate to say it but this would back fire in the end the best thing we can realistically do is just grow tougher skin and brush off the hate the best we can
@@AlaskanHuzkyYou cant equate being a bigot to murder lol, what? Being a bigot by itself does not hurt anyone, murder by definition does. We can outlaw the hurtful actions those bigots take, like hate speech or discrimination, but outlawing bigotry itself? What are you, 5 years old?
One of the things that I learned after my child came out to me as trans a few years ago (following 2 suicide attempts) is that they don't need you to understand them. They just need you to respect that they identify the way that they do. It doesn't matter if their gender identity makes sense to you. Just love your child and use the right pronouns & name
@@GaryVR Your a disgusting POS, Human is too nice a word for something like you. What did this person or their child do to you in order to deserve such disgusting words. You are a low life wishing the death of ANY child or Adult simply because of your own ignorance and empathy.
I had a trans friend with an unsupportive father. When her father found out she disappeared off of discord and I haven’t heard from her in months. I hope she is okay, but I know she was already struggling with mental health. If anyone out there is struggling with mental health, please get help.
Years ago by now, around 2018/2019 to 2022 or so, I knew this person on discord. At first as male, then she transitioned to female/came out as trans. Which was fine Then we noticed her acting strangely, talking about weird concepts such as attempting to ascend and weird spiritual stuff. It turns out that her parents were not supportive and that caused a severe decline in her mental health. And at some point, she disappeared. For two years I thought she committed and was dead But finally we saw her this year in a server, for like 2 messages Turns out she was homeless That's an extremely tough situation to be in I hope her life turns around at some point
Depending on details, if anyone finds themselves in a situation where you are worried about someone, please look into whether it is possible to arrange a "wellness check" for the person. I only learned about wellness checks very recently, when someone I care about was having mental health problems. During a wellness check, a trained social worker finds and checks on the person who might be in distress. To figure out whether and how to arrange a wellness check, one possibility is to talk to your doctor (if you trust your doctor, and if you are in the same town as the other person), because they should know what the options are and whether it will likely be helpful or not.
@@theojf1985 Wellness checks often lead to us being gunned down as they bring police. Even if they call a crisis line often they send police. Please don't send police, they love to murder us. My trans friends and I consider wellness checks swatting lite and many of my friends have been swatted before by KF ( a hate group). We really take this seriously. I am FTM.
I just wanted to say that Im pro transition and Im from somalia and I grew up in the middle east. Never think that acceptance and open-mindedness wont reach anywhere. It is slowly spreading! ❤ despite my culture, my background, my childhood and my old religion, I would still support the trans community and if I ever had a trans child. It is not a big deal, we make it a big dela
Thanks for the support, I am also from an anti-LGBT country and I sincerely think that the bigots are losing ground. This banning spree and aggressive campaign is only a panic reaction from them as they are scared.
@@bujdosogyula3429that’s what I think too! It’s their last ditch efforts that they are putting their all into because they realized the younger generations don’t buy into their bigotry and excuses anymore. They are realizing we are waiting for them to loose power to make a positive change and are panicking
❤.. after 5 long years of no contact with my parents due to their inability to accept my transition, last Christmas (2023) my mother invited me for a chat. We sat down and had this exact conversation. 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you for sharing this. 🙏 At the end , our memories will be more valuable than the neighbors opinion. 💕
I haven't talked to my parents in nearly 2 years because, among other reasons, they're anti-trans and spew tons of hateful rhetoric. My dad still texts me every so often, but I've never replied. My mom has never reached out. I don't know what to do.
@@sparklelikeaghost what about teaching them about empathy?? Tell them about how you feel, firstly. Then provide them with scientific evidences that support transition. Inform them about the effects of gender dysphoria, and "just" ignoring it doesn't solve it. "just" accepting your biological sex and living in accordance to that just adds more coal to fire. If they are super religious and trust their god no matter what, this won't work. But if they arent, you can reach their heart and make them feel your suffering. At the end, ensure them that their "reputation" will still be clean. They can accept you without publicly announcing that and telling people they're are pro trans.
From a 15 year old trans girl scared out of her mind with all that's going on right now, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. Things like this are what give me a ray of hope in everything and keep me able to stay alive for another day. Please never stop fighting for our rights!! /lh
Always every day find one thing no matter how small to keep you fighting to stay alive! Even if it’s just promising yourself a slice of cake the following day! Because even in the dark of night a light can spark and brighten the world!
The number of transgender kids and adults in the country is less than 0.002% of the population, and my service to this nation included protecting the rights of that small percentage to be who they know they are. I'm a strait white 42yo male, and I've had to overcome my own biases that were cultivated in my younger years. It was only about 15 years ago that I finally saw the light of reason and realized my insecurities and saw my bigotry, and I've been fighting to make amends for the hate that once poisoned my heart. I can only hope that others find the will to overcome their bigotry, and to stop supporting the bigots who attack those who only want to live in peace and love in the body they know is who they are. Peace and long life. 🖖
I'm feeling hormonal (no pun intended, I'm just a 52 year old mama!) And this made me cry. For anyone who needs to hear it in these terms, it's far better to (take the opportunity to learn and grow as a person and) accept your trans kid/friend/sibling/whatever, than to have an extra grave to visit. It's birthday season for my family. My kids are turning 21, 24, and 27. Two of them are trans. I love and accept them all in equal measure. It's not hard to do. Blessed day/night to all. 🙏❤🏳⚧🏳🌈
@@missnaomi613 When people are being hateful, I like to ask them when it became ok to hate their children and what they’re gonna do when no one visits them anymore. I don’t expect it to change their mind right that minute, but I feel like those are questions that would haunt me at three in the morning and make me rethink some choices.
@@queenchoyo6016it might be comforting to know that trans support is growing more than it ever has. The hatred may be louder but that's the sound of a desperate hateful people realizing they are becoming irrelevant.
Ouch, this one hit home. As a 55 year old grandpa and recovering mormon republican, I absolutely treasure the fact that a personal relationship with someone I did not want lose, changed my mind and helped me think clearly for the first time. It's about the people and the love, that rules everything!!
If you want to try to understand it better, don't think 'what would it be like if I wanted to be a girl'. Think about how it'd feel if you saw yourself exactly as you are now, a man, a father, a son, maybe a brother and uncle. Now imagine that *everyone* else treated you like a woman. That you had to wear dresses and make up or society treated you like something was wrong with you. And there was a treatment that could help, but bigots want to make it illegal. I'm a trans woman. My gender identity has always been female. My teens were terrifying. I was forced to change in the boy's locker room, heard the way boys and men talked about the girls and women in their lives, and dealt with queerphobia growing up because I was so very feminine. Nobody understood. Even though I *KNEW* I was a girl, and had to constantly be reminded that I was "really a boy" it never stuck... I just stopped bothering with insisting because nobody LISTENED, or worse, they DID listen and they abused me for it. Thank you for loving your kid. It should be the minimum, but with the society we're in...
@@luciencreates3289 I'm sorry your father isn't as accepting as he should be. You deserve to be seen and loved for who you are, not what society insisted you were.
I wish more parents thought like this. Losing the support from your family hurts in more ways than one. Thank you for taking the time to produce this. ❤
I COMPLETELY agree with this. Parents should SUPPORT their children NO MATTER WHAT, as long as they're not endangering themselves or others. I am sending so much SUPPORT to transgender people.
@@mermershangout4808 I agree wholeheartdly. The only trouble lies with the second half of your statement. Unfortunately, there are too many parents that think they are allowing a kid to endanger themselves simply by letting them be who they are. They'll say it's because they don't want their kid to go to hell; they'll say it's because it's "God"'s plan for their kid to suffer, they'll say it's because thier kid is secretly being manipulated by some "secret, liberal, woke agenda being projected into their brains using Jewish space lasers controlled by Hillary or illegal immigrants or the reptilian, godless, Marxist elites" Whatever dogma they choose to call it, adults will always claim that what's best for the "health" and "safety" of their kid is to project their own bigoted neuroses or abusive tendencies onto the kid by trying to control their child's thoughts and feelings. It's a whole other level of fucked up but you would be surprised at how many "parents" try to gaslight their own children this way; by telling them that the truth inside them is not the "real" truth and that they are not what they know they are. Sadly, until it becomes easier to take kids out of homes like that, all we have is the support of people like yourself.... so Thank you. I mean that.
My mother rejected my 25 years old trans daughter and lost the rest of us in the process. I will not abandon my own child. Never. The sad part is my mother doesn't even acknowledge that she is the one to initiate the estrangement even after multiple letter explaining it to her. My heart goes out to anyone who is has been abandoned. You deserve better. You can achieve better. There are people who will love you, and you can learn to love your family of choice in ways you never were.
Yes, your families should love you unconditionally. However, don’t forget that you also get to build your own family-of-choice; perhaps not related by blood but joined together by love.
my parents are far right conservatives and when i came out as a lesbian they were fine with it. i was so relived that they weren't mad at me it made me feel confident. so i told them i was non-binary. they were not happy. they got mad. they told me it was a phase and that it was disrespectful to them. i'm not allowed to go by my preferred name at school and if friends come over they have to use my dead name. i'm really happy for all the people who are safe and accepted. progress for one is progress for all.
I'm sorry. I hope you're able to get out from under their thumb and live your life the way YOU want, soon. You deserve to be happy and referred to by the name and pronouns you like.
This video shattered me. I cried for a good 10 minutes. I didn't come out as a teen but when I did at 29, my conservative evangelical father called me "filth" and "abomination", said I had allowed a demon/Satan to possess me, and told me that he wanted nothing to do with me. 10 years of silence between my parents & I. Even when I sustained a disabling spinal cord injury 2 years after transitioning I didn't feel safe reaching out to them, had to get through it practically alone. So I cried in lament because I wished that had been my experience, and I cried in joy because I know that more and more trans people, both kids and adults, _are_ having this experience when coming out to parents 🥰
you have a place in this community, in this world, lisa. family is who you love, not who made you. may your mind be at ease and your pain be quelled to silence.
This is my first video from this channel. Will all of them make me cry at nine in the morning because I am ok with that but a warning would be appreciated.
As a non binary person who has a homophobic and transphobic family this made my heart smile. We need more supportive family members and friends. Trans rights are human rights 💜🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I like how humble this is, how it says so much in just 2 minutes. It doesn't have to make a big song and dance to be heard. Its a simple interaction between father and child. Whether your child is trans or cis, straight or gay, or somewhere in between that spectrum, it doesnt matter. They are your child, your family, the same as they were before they discovered themselves and grew up. Losing a son for a daughter does not mean you've lost a child. Not accepting your daughter for who they are, does. "Your children are not your children They are the sons and daughter's of lifes longing for itself They come through you but not from you And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you You may give them your love but not your thoughts For they have their own thoughts You may house their bodies but not their souls For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday You are the bows from which your children are sent forth The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite And He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far Let your bending in the archers hand be for gladness For even as he loves the arrow that flies So he loves also the bow that is stable." That poem was written in 1923, and it still applies today.
I'm a trans man and we need more parents like this. It's genuinely hard to go through a world that's intentionally hurting people like us for no reason other than to promote violence and hate only to go home (or have no home to go to) because your parents feel the same as those abusers. I don't understand the hatred and lies being spread in politics about me and our people...but it is wrong. It confuses me that nobody is asking us how things work or what we do, but believe a crusty old cheeto who has no idea any of it.
I used to wonder about this so so much, and I feel like I finally reached an answer at some point (don’t remember exactly when) unlike being gay or lesbian, they actually have to make changes in their life by using preferred names and pronouns, because of dysphoria trans folk experience a very real pain when being misgendered whereas if I walked around with a girlfriend, no matter how much they hate it and what slurs they call me, it wouldn’t really have any effect on me, people who are LGBT don’t necessarily need to come out to avoid dysphoria, in summary it’s a power move- people don’t like being told what to do and when we actually ask them to go out of their way to use their pronouns and preferred names (the horror, I know) they put their foot down like petulant little children and make it out like being trans is especially heinous, even worse than being gay or any other sexuality when the reality is they never liked any of us from the very beginning ….I may not know you but if we ever met on the street I would use whatever pronouns you asked me to and whatever name you wanted me to call you, I hope you feel handsome when you look in the mirror and that the image in the mirror reflects the vision you have of yourself in your mind, we all deserve to feel beautiful
sorry for the absolute book of a comment I just wrote, just something that’s been on my mind for awhile and I took the chance to dump it on some unsuspecting guy 😅
It's pretty simple. They have a narrow, rigid understanding of the way the world works, and we falsify that understanding just by existing. So they want to pretend we don't exist, and do everything in their unfortunately considerable power to enforce that. But unlike with older types of segregation, this one is doomed at the ground level. Because no amount of shutting us out will prevent queer kids from being born to conservative parents. No matter how high they build their walls, no matter how harshly they punish our words or how promptly they banish our thoughts, we will always be in their communities. And so, some of them will always be forced to reckon with their hate. They can't win. It's just a question of how many of us are lost before they lose.
I absolutely agree with you. I'm a young person, as my grandpa would say. I'm trans male and have dealt with the dysphoria of that since I walked into Target for the first time. Go to the girls section "hey this skirt looks pretty! Oh this dress is on sale isn't it nice." And I didn't know what it was when I looked in that fitting room mirror and felt...off. As I matured and grew older, I realized that that "off" feeling was more of a "wrong" feeling. I didn't know what the word "transgender" meant. I just knew that the boy (now girl I'm just using that in a "younger me" sense) in my 1st grade class who wore dresses was super cool. I later knew her as the girl who wore dresses but would have an old name called whenever there was a substitute teacher in our class. And we would talk and she would say, "I'm just being me. I don't feel right in my body so I'm doing what I can to feel right" and I resonated with that so much. I knew exactly how she felt. I'll be in high school soon, and the school I plan on applying to is very LGBTQIA+ friendly. I got my name changed within the school district, so any medical or legal documents have my birth name on them, doctors offices have my name down as my legal name. But th3yve put in their system 'hey, this person is chase, not blah blah blah legal name' And I've been doing what I can to help others like me. Kentucky passed their anti-trans bill in March 2023, took effect that June (so damn ironic that it took effect the first day of pride month. I still plan on burning down our capital building 😊). So when T.R.A.S.H. people (transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic) make decisions like that to 'protect the children', when they remove the library books about organizations like The Trevor Project or other LGBT help lines and hot lines to 'protect the kids' well congrats, Mr senator, you've just driven up your state's suicide rate 25% aren't you proud??!! I don't understand why old white cis straight men get to make these decisions, ones that have piles of evidence upon evidence that doing this is harmful to trans kids and trying to get rid of a group of people isn't going to shelter your precious little angel from reality. Your kids shouldn't benefit from other kids KILLING THEMSELVES. Sorry for writing so much but I am just quite passionate about this considering I've been in and out of mental hospitals and psych wards for suicidality. So I 100% agree with you when you say that crusty old cheetos shouldn't have any say in who we get to be.
They believe him because he pretends to be like them, despite him being a self centered rich asshole But that last word, asshole, they relate to greatly
My 17 year old came out to me as trans early this year. I told her I was proud of her courage telling me. I knew it was hard. That kid is everything to me. She hasn't changed. She's the person she always was, who I love and cherish with my whole heart. Because I'm her father.
@GaryVR What loss? My kiddo is around and kicking, just as smart and funny as she ever was. I still have a lot to share with her, and she's happy about that. She discovered who she was, is all. Better now than later. We're fine.
This was wonderful. I liked the snarky "It's a skirt, Dad!" That made it so realistic because the kid couldn't probably know what's about to happen next and is still dealing with anger because of being hurt prior but expressing it in this childlike way. While dealing with this immense burden of being transgender in this current world. Let's protect the children because it would be great to have them around as adults, too and all of us living in a more diverse, happy and healthy society.
@@AngryGayGrandpa How bad the hate is, starting with Liddy Bacroff, a trans woman, was killed in the Mauthausen concentration camp in 1943, 2023 - Brianna Ghey was murdered in a premeditated attack by Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe. After being lured into Culcheth Linear Park UK by Jenkinson, Ghey was stabbed 28 times. Jenkinson and Ratcliffe, both aged 15 at the time, https : // en . wikipedia . org/wiki/List_of_people_killed_for_being_transgender
@@AngryGayGrandpa Seriously laws need to be changed and be future proofed so they can not be removed from law.... because the killers are getting younger on that list the youngest is 12 years old.....
MAGA cultists need to understand that no one is forcing your girl to become a boy. This is about letting people express themselves. It’s freedom of speech. ❤
My parents were immediately supportive of me being a trans guy despite not knowing much about gender dysphoria and transitioning at first. I’m so so grateful and lucky to have understanding parents My parents are Christian, and one day in the car, my dad said “you know, if you were born a boy, I don’t think we would have had [name of my little brother]” (context; I’m the middle child. Siblings from oldest to youngest are: brother, sister, me, sister, brother). He explained that the reason they had my little brother was because they wanted to try to get another boy, and that if I was born a boy, they probably wouldn’t have had him. I’m not religious, but I genuinely wanted to cry (in a good way) when he found a way to relate his religion to my circumstance. “Maybe that’s why god sent you here as a girl at first instead of your actual gender” (something like that)
That is actually very heart warming. You had to come the way you were so that your other two siblings were born in the end. I think being able to contextualize trans people within people's already held views can make things a lot easier on people and I am glad he was able to make that connection.
Watching, I was hoping for that "... I love my daughter." moment. Hearing that "Holly", meant even more. I'm almost 62. My father is 95. I came out just a few years ago and he has loved and supported me as his daughter too...
It took me 2 years before I started calling my daughter by her new name. It was a long journey but I'm happy with where we are now. My biggest regret was that she was facing transphobia from the age of 13, and for years she was facing it alone and without my support.
I'm sure she appreciates your support that you give her now. You are not alone, my father needed time to accept me. Wish you and your daughter all the best!
I hope you know that it truly is better late than never. Most of us just want to have our family, even if they hurt us in the beginning, so long as they do better now that is all that matters. Just remember that, if you already haven't reached it, one day your years of support will vastly outnumber those you did not.
One of the most impactful things anyone has said to me came from my grandmother around nine years ago (she is now 88). She said, "I don't understand, but I love you unconditionally; help me understand." I strive to follow in her footsteps, but if I could live my life with half her love and grace, it would be an accomplishment worth my while.
2 minutes and I am totally in tears 😭 Both my parents died before I came out. Wish so much that my mom knew and that she would have accepted me. Thanks for a nice watch ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss. You can still write or talk to them; it may be helpful in processing your feelings and beliefs. Wishing you peace in your heart around this.
I have a little brother who just came out to our dad and it went "better than expected" according to my bro. This video made me shed a tear. Our dad may have made some mistakes raising us, and he is still a little confused, but I'll be damned if he doesn't love us all to death. He's trying his best, every day. Love you, dad, and love you, lil bro❤
Jim I was moved to tears watching this. You capture the love between this parent and child so exquisitely. Thank you for the care you are sending to all the transgender youth out there. Let's hope no more lives are lost!
The moment he sat down I cried because even though I know it’s a supportive video it triggered my fight or flight response, trans or not even when it comes to smaller matters parents don’t usually have this kind of positive outlook, let alone when it comes to bigger matters like coming out, parents would rather watch their kids die than “lose” this culture war, but this video showed such a bright future in it: the sky didn’t collapse, the daughter didn’t go on to sneak into bathrooms to “spy” on girls, she was just…..happy, relieved she doesn’t have to live in a world where she fights for the right to exist, one where she can feel happy and safe living under her parents’ roof
thank you for this, im a 14 year old trans girl and despite not living in america the election is scary, it just makes me glad to know that there ARE people that exist who care about us who dont want to lose us. thank you
All of these comments got me crying. As a trans woman who was disowned by her family it’s so nice seeing all these people being supportive in here. Also, this video touched my heart. Wish my dad did that. Partner called me pretty and he laughed.
This is Beautiful! Thank you so much for making this! From a Trans woman in a red state who initially struggled to get her parents' support but is now fully supported and on the road to happiness thriving congruency and fulfillment!
to any trans person who may see this: even if you don’t have this at home, please know your community loves you. know that you are valuable as your authentic self. you are loved and seen and heard, and so many of us will never stop fighting for you to exist in joy ❤ please never give up. please do not let the hate in this world outshine your beautiful light. love you lots, from a fellow queer.
A nation begins to fail when it denies fundamental rights to its citizens. No one should ever have their rights taken away-especially not transgender individuals, who deserve the same dignity, respect, and protection as everyone else.
Its really sad to me that some parents would rather have a dead kid than a trans kid. As an ally of the lgbt I'm wishing everyone in the group the absolute best life can offer because you deserve it and you are loved ! 🖤🏳️🌈🇺🇸
This is so beautiful and touching. I am from semi-rural Maine, and when I first came out about 7 years ago now, one of the first ever people to try and support me even though he didn't understand it at all was my 90 year old, conservative, WW2 vet grandfather. He started referring to me by an abbreviated combination of my deadname and my current name, which, while not my preference, was more than most other family members were really doing at the time. He didn't quite get it, but he chose to try anything instead of alienating himself. He passed before I could start HRT and change my name, but I still cherish the way he tried to take those first steps with me, however slightly he could. Thank you so much for making and sharing this little PSA. It is so important for scared trans kids-- and conflicted parents-- from these sorts of communities to know that there is hope for things to work out for everyone involved. We don't need to lose any more innocent children.
I am so sorry. I am the proud mom of a transgender man. As a mom, I can say it was hard at first, lots of emotions. Not because of my child, he was incredible. Patient and understanding, he educated me and helped me. His empathy for what I was experiencing was unbelievable. Maybe your parents will come around someday, and maybe they won't. That is their fault if they don't. They will miss seeing their child grow and blossom into the person they were always meant to be. I believe in you, you are worth it.
Today, my province announced more restrictions for trans youth on medical transitioning and pronoun use in classrooms. This puts students who are not out to their family at a very high risk for abuse. Along with those wanting to medically transition a much longer wait time than expected. Its scary. It almost feels like they want us eradicated completely. Even though im not from America, i fear for the trans community. We cant afford to lose any more lives. Im a 17yo ftm. When i was 15 i attempted to take my life, i thought maybe in the next life i would be a real man. My gender dysphoria was a large factor for my mental state. I do not want anyone else to have to come to that decision. A year later I came out, my mom was confused, and my dad refused to acknowledge it. He has only brought it up once though, telling me that i will always go back to being a girl no matter what happens. I wish my dad was more like the dad in the film, he saw his child struggling and supported her through it, even if it’s something he doesn’t understand both my parents know that i go by a different name and pronouns at school, but they refuse to use them at home- even with friends around. I live a double life right now, but it’s better than no life at all. Everyday im grateful my friends and teachers treat me like a normal guy at school, It really makes such a difference. It can really make my day when a teacher calls me by my name. However, you can only go so far without parental support. If i need a haircut or new clothes i need permission from my parents to do so. This can be bad for kids in unsupportive households because being perceived as something you aren’t takes a toll on your mental health. Especially when you KNOW who you are, and people won’t let you be yourself. .
From the way that man looks, I’m going to assume that he’s a conservative Christian. And that makes his love and support for his daughter all the more remarkable and precious. Nothing gets in the way of genuine love.
Just a like on this video can’t convey how much I love it. I’m not trans, but dang, the world needs more people like the dad in this video. Trans rights are human rights.
That was short, sweet, poignant and powerful. 50 year old trans woman, myself- started medically a bit over a year ago. I'll never regret the transition, but I will regret only a) not having done so sooner, and b) the time spent with mental breakdowns and passive suicidal ideation simply because I didn't know it was available to me. To all those trans sisters and brothers, to all those allies out there- you are loved not for what you are, or your labels, but who you are and what you mean to others. Wishing you strength to continue to be yourselves, and strength to uplift those around you.
congrats on beginning!! and thank you for commenting- it always brings a bit of hope to my heart knowing life won’t end… that one can grow older and be queer. thank you
You don't have to understand it, just be supportive, it's crucial to survival. With the political climate surrounding transgender folks, Thank you for posting this. We are not monsters.
Thank you. so much. Right now it feels like transphobia is just. everywhere. especially in my own family, and art like this is wonderful. A bit of warmth and kindness between all the gloom and terribleness that seems to show up every day. Support and acceptance like this genuinely means so so much. To me and every other trans person out there. Thank you - a random genderfluid teen
It's only loud because the hateful are desperate. They have realized that their hatred has only increased visibility and understanding for the trans community.
My dad does and says some pretty awful things to me. He’s told me to kill myself, he’s called me words I didn’t even know existed and are hearing of for the first time, he hits me, etc. But what hurts the most is hearing him say, “You’re name is Gwenyth. Not Daniel. You are a girl and will always be one no matter what you do or how hard you try. You’ll always be my little girl and you’ll always be Gwenyth to me. Nobody will ever like you. Especially not as a boy. Just some fucked up girl.” Thankfully he doesn’t try to send me anywhere to “fix” me or use religion as an excuse. (He grew up in a religious household but hated it, so he didn’t force anything on us religion-wise. Also he’s an atheist.) I know he cares about me but it’s very conflicted with the way he acts. - A scared thirteen year old trans boy.
You are not alone, Daniel. Things may not get better for some time, but they will eventually. I'm nonbinary, and I'm 28 now. My dad treated me in a similar way when I was your age. It took me a long time to find happiness, but I have been now for the last few years. I live with my partner and our two cats. I have friends and coworkers who don't just accept me for who I am, they are glad that I am in their life. Nobody decides who you are except you. It does get better. Just remember that. ❤ And also, there are places to reach out for support, like the Trevor Project and Trans Lifeline. You aren't alone, and you are accepted for who you are.
@@maxq96 Thank you, it almost seems unreal or dreamlike to ever get to that point. But I keep going every day just for the slight chance that the future will be like that. I used to be very optimistic and now I’m more of a pessimist, but I still hold on to that sliver of hope. ❤️
It's so tiresome seeing plenty of posts in fb about trans people and their parents, and the pages & comments just mock them and say the same iteration of "he lost his son", "the father looks dead inside". It's refreshing seeing something truly human for once.
Transmasc here. Im coming out to my mom today, im really hoping everything goes well. Your videos have given me lots of courage, and I hope she will support me.
I came out when I was 12yo in 2014. It was a time when trans people hadn't quite become common knowledge yet. It was hard for my parents as they lacked resources and the first two years of being out were incredibly difficult. I got to go on HRT when I was 14 and it genuinely saved my life. I would not have survived high school and made it to adulthood. Watching something that made the person I am now able to exist ripped away from the youth in an even more vulnerable position than I was do to the political shitstorm, it is devastating. The day my state banned gender affirming care for trans youth, I stared at the wall and cried. I couldn't begin to fathom how terrible it was going to be but I knew it was going to be horrible. Even as a trans adult I have found myself suffering from more depression than I did prior to anti-trans laws being passed. I go to a blue state to get my care and protect my medical records and I am so disheartened but being reminded that no matter what, people are fighting for us who could pretend it was never happening and live their lives unaffected, that gives me hope.
I'm non-binary and got told by my grandmother that I'm being misogynistic for choosing not to identify as a woman. My mom refuses to argue or correct her or any of my other family members when they misgender me and has even expressed discomfort at the idea of me getting top surgery. My Dad on the other hand? He supports me 100%, isn't afraid to correct anyone. I'm so thankful to have him in my life. I can see him in this video. Thank you so much for making this.
If you can help it before getting top surgery consider doing a lot of chest exercises as that usually will shrink down the chest size of anyone. Top surgery will remove all the feeling unless you can afford a really good dr/ surgeon. But who knows maybe in the future all we will have to do is step into a machine
@@drunkenhobo5039 my only concern is them going to get it done from someone that more cares about the money then the actual recovery of the patients in their care.
@@unsoundfoxly If they cared about anything other than money, they wouldn't be cosmetic surgeons. I really don't like how normalised it's become. Wrapping it in the rainbow flag was their greatest marketing stunt.
@@drunkenhobo5039 my grandfather and Cousin were/are plastic surgeon not for the money but because they both served in some of the wars we had and they were dedicated to helping people disfigured by war look some semblance of themselves again. I would say it’s not always about the money if it’s a family owned but if it’s a corporate owned then yeah it’s pretty bad.
Thank you so much for this video! My child sent this to me this morning and while it wasn't needed for me (they sent it to me as a feel good video for us), it really resonated with me towards my "I'm old school excuse" dad. So I forwarded him the video with a long, heartfelt message about the affect he is having on the trans people in my life. I am very pleased to say that I think it got through to him. It was prefectly presented from a masculine father figure perspective and that must have clicked with him. Thank you for this! My children now have a chance at a loving, accepting relationship with their grandfather! Sending all the love from down under xx Stay strong America! Our youth deserve so much better!
This popped up randomly for me during my lunch break and now I'm blaming my tears on spicy food I was a trans kid once and repressed it for years because I knew my parents - conservative Pentecostal ministers - and community wouldn't support me. Now I'm 31 and my parents are in their 60s, and I'm finally transitioning -- and miraculously, they are coming around. They're going to be there for me after surgery, even though they struggle with the (unfounded in their own scripture) belief that I'm going to hell for being trans. I'm going to hold on to my faith just like I've given them grace and time to be with me on this journey, and one day, I hope to see them in heaven. But for now, just being known and loved as their daughter is my heaven.
First thing in the morning and I'm crying. I love my trans grandson so much. He's so lucky to have a supportive family and friends. But I know there are a lot of trans kids who don't have that support. So for you folks, YOU ARE LOVED.
Anyone else like the video, then want to unlike it just so they can hit that like button again? I'm a cis bi woman but remember not being welcome at home for 2 weeks after coming out to my mom. This dad admitting to being wrong, apologized, and wants to figure out how to best support Holly going forward!? That is something countless parents need to learn to do.
I'm a member of a group of masculine, adventure seeking automotive enthusiast tough guys. The secret is that our real mission is to spread joy, acceptance, and social and environmental responsibility everywhere we go. This weekend we supported a pride parade in Ashland, Oregon, and cleaned up hundreds of pounds of trash from public land in southern Oregon and northern California. We believe it's important for everyone, especially the social majority (mostly straight cis white males in our case) to actively stand up for queer rights, women's rights, and minority rights, as well as environmental responsibility. The only way to move forward is for those who are least marginalized to stand up for those who are most maginalized. Remember that we love you and countless people are fighting every day to make the world a better place for you.
Cishet guy here, this made me emotional. I don’t have any children yet, but if/when I do, I’m going to try my damndest to let them know that I will love and support them with my whole heart, no matter what name, pronouns, or parts they have, the way they look, the gender/s they love, etc. because they will always be my child/children, and also I try to be as supportive as I can of the LGBTIQA+ community. Transgender rights are human rights. Protect not only transgender kids, but all transgender people.
I'm in tears. My mother married a douche who broke a $2000+ smart TV because he tried signing up for Hulu and nonbinary was one of the gender options. My mother and brother have accepted me, but we can't use my real name. They don't want to risk it and have to fill a grave because he overheard. The Holly at the end... What I would do to have one of them hug me and call me by my chosen name. Just once before I move out next Spring. Thank you for this video, it feels like a little bit of support in a household where I can't get any.
Jesus, I really hope your family can get away from that guy. Stay safe, I'm sorry that your situation is so dark right now. I'm glad you have your brother and mother, though.
46yo trans woman. Ok I watched the video. I didn't react to it right away. I reflected on it for a minute or two. Then I started crying. I watched it 3 times and couldn't stop crying. Then I started to read the comments and have been crying for a solid 10 minutes. I had to stop reading, it was just too much. The show of support from everyone is just amazing. The first thing I did when I came out as trans last fall was attend a counter protest against the 1 Million March For Children. They were targeting trans youth in particular, trying to push for bathroom laws, book bans and gender affirming care bans. I have to stand up for these kids. I had no one when I needed it as a kid. This girl has her fully supportive dad. That makes such a profound difference to her life. Love your kids no matter how they identify or who they love. Support Trans Kids!
