There has been a lot of comments in regards to us settling to be with each other, being insecure, and not being equally yoked etc. Based on the commentary, it’s pretty obvious that only segments of the episode were watched. “Not Your Type” is so much more than physical attraction. Yet, that has been the only thing that majority has wanted to weigh in on. We are examples of individuals who submitted to God’s Will above our “initial” reactions. Thankfully, we have been blessed to experience growing in love through our love for Christ. We see each other in a way that only we will understand. While we don’t expect everyone’s story to mimic ours, we hope that through this episode you will see how removing “self” can result in the biggest blessing, IF & ONLY IF it’s in submission to God. Be Bless. OUR RESPONSE VIDEO: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bDgxbFKu_sc.htmlsi=GUr3g5H3Ox1F6e-l
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Several thoughts came to mind as I read a few of the comments 😆 But I'll say I thought you both seem to feel very at home with each other as I listened/watched. I like your honesty/maturity and believe your love and attraction for each other is genuine. Some people are projecting their own thoughts of you and how they feel about this type of conversation as if those are things you're thinking and experiencing with each other. Sometimes we can be too attached to certain fantasies/ideals/preferences about love, so we think love isn't present or something is wrong with a relationship if those things aren't a part of it.
We would love ❤️ to have you on our podcast ‘couple of forevers’ these are the types of conversations we need to be having more of. Not the typical Russell and Ciara goals
And this why a lot of women remain single because yall think real life works like Disney. It's not always love at first sight. Sometime love grows. That's real life, sis. God bless.
A lot of these comments are carnal. I totally understood where they were coming from. In a nutshell they had an ideal concept of who they wanted to marry but God gave them who they needed. They didn't settle. They actually compliment each other. Blessings to their marriage.
Yea I was thinking the same thing too, this is why people be single. They refuse to not be with someone they want. You can find a wife just to say you have a wife or husband but do you even like that person? How long until someone you actually like comes along and shakes the table?
Yeah, no. I want a man who’s my type, attracted to me, and that I’m attracted to him. Not just by appearance, by his actions, his demeanor and that he’s a follower of Christ. I want real love that I’ve never received before.
I feel like they both kind of give back handed compliments. Like it’s the way they say things and their facial expressions. I’ve noticed that they used dry humor but truly it can come off as mean. It’s a lot of tension while watching this.
They seemed extremely natural with each other. I think people are used to watching fake heavily edited TikTok videos and think that's what love and "healthy" looks like. These two were having serious conversations but still joking with each other. That IS way more real and comfortable than a fake/heavily edited video to make people think they have a fairytale relationship that probably won't last another 5 years.
Honestly men never marry their ideal type. They marry who elevated them and looks good for them. Many people are not with their type not everyone gets to be with their type because their type might not like them so there’s that loll
I wouldn’t say never, it depend if you rich and attractive enough. It depend What type of women you. But yes in general people don’t marry their first choice. But a small pourcentage of people can marry their type
I’ve seen people marry their type and the marriage is very toxic and dysfunctional…. But I’ve also seen people marry the person who wasn’t necessarily their type but were compatible in many other ways and now cannot keep their hands off of each other after many years.❤
This is a grown folk conversation. My now husband was not my “type” at first. Does not mean he’s not attractive and I wasn’t attracted to him. I am very attracted to him and the man of God he has become. Type can mean many different things. God had a plan for us to be together and do ministry together. People are too busy watching fake love stories on Instagram and on tv. God bless you guys and thank you for sharing.
Idk what she expected or what he expected but looks wise they fit each other. It’s important to be self aware. I’m only in the first 2 minutes and this is hard to watch but im going to finish watching it
Yeeea, it was really tense and I cld see that he’s really not over the type situation. I wld have love to see more of his appreciation of who she is as a person coming from his perspective and not her validating that point. It appears more like she’s into him more than he is
@@deborahappreciates8 i understand what you’re saying but this doesnt apply to men when looking for a wife. In our bible it states the men always valued the woman’s beauty & married solely for that. Men look at beauty from head to toe. Elkanah even treated his 2nd wife poorly because of it. Ruth was sough out because of it. As a woman you should seek out a provider and protector. The rules arent the same for us. I dont think its wise for a woman to marry or date a man that not satisfied with her appearance. The church has to be honest that men are men. Why is why they date outside the church first.Woman are you be beautiful and in shape( gluttony is running thru the church nonstop). These are just facts!
@@la4894 the why his body would switch at her words. How he became agitated at every word she said, then he would dismissed her praise and nitpicked at her. Purposely embarrassed her. I’m praying for this woman & i hope the christian women are taking notes
@@chloecreate looks are important to men. It always will be and thats okay. Something the church has to acknowledge & prepare women for. We have diff rules & thats okay!
She came up with the title and wanted to talk about the subject. Just because they both are beautiful people doesn’t mean they will initially be attracted to each other. People really need to listen without reflecting their own insecurities on the topic so they can actually learn and understand what God actually what them to share.
That's because you assumed "my type" only referred to physical attraction. There is WAY more to being each others type than that...that's the point of the whole video and people are missing it. They are having BIG conversations people aren't used to hearing and people tuned out because they expected the two of them to just smile at each other and talk about how cute each other was....they are more mature than that. These are not teenagers. They were have a grown folks conversation and sadly too many people aren't picking it up.
Having a “type” means that there are particular physical or character attributes that you are most commonly attracted to. She even mentioned that she was normally attracted to the ‘Morris Chestnut’ type and he’s more so ‘Shemar Moore’ but was still cute. That’s ok y’all, they didn’t settle because they valued each other’s character. And obviously they’re attracted to each other - y’all don’t see that baby on her lap? 👀 Don’t let your “type” keep you from your husband/wife out here…
I remember thinking"Lord Shes not even my type," But then I SAID TO MYSELF, How many failed relationships have you been involved in? I answered all of them. Then I asked myself, How many were your type? I answered all of them...I began laughing and thinking, Wow! at the same time.
From my spiritual understanding & what the ADONAI has revealed unto me is that the worldly concept & the idea of one having a " type" is nothing more than a "familiar spirit" sent by the enemy to sabotage your life. Mainly because "if" you aren't led by the spirit of THE LIVING GOD in all things its easy for HaSatan to manipulate our lives because he studies us all from birth & he knows our likes & dislikes & will attack accordingly. PRAISEVYEVYAH for HIS SPIRIT OF WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING BLESS THE NAME OF THE ADONAI. SHALOM🙏💜🕊
My sister in Christ, you are so beautiful!! I pray you know that. Your skin is flawless, your hair is gorgeous, and you appear so loving and nurturing! 🤗
So this sounds like an arranged marriage; arranged by two logical people with like morals. Interesting 🤔 We (the collective) should have a conversation about bringing back or normalizing courting.
To be honest, this is what dating intentionally and with purpose looks like. The title was off putting, but I think it was intentional as well. It got me to click which is what they wanted. Friends, lovers, partners. We should all be so lucky. ♥️
She looks like his trophy wife to me in terms of his looks and her looks. This makes me want to reflect on how do we determine what is our ideal type or trophy wife. On another note his wife really must love him. He seems really tough. Praise the Lord she can handle it well.
This is the type of marriage that last a lifetime❤. I see them growing old together. They are already an "old soul" marriage. Beautiful ❤️ We know what we want God knows what we need. God be like 'no this is your type trust me'.
A lot of men are not married to their "Dream Girl". A popular dating coach on TikTok spoke about that (Anwar White)... and they usually pick the girl that they were pressured to marry or someone who can elevate them in some way.
So I think the video is good! Buttttt I think he should if he hasn’t yet learn to love you in your love language if you like compliments and lovey dubby stuff he should love you in that way. I don’t like men or women that say I’m not doing this or that but it’s the this or that their spouse needs. Blessings to you guys. Beautiful family
I like how raw y’all communicate with each other and no one is taking things personally. I love the maturity. Y’all already remind me of an elderly couple in the way y’all communicate. 😅 No red flags sounding off for me.
Wow. Only matured persons and believers will understand this. This is so beautiful to watch. You both have grown in love so much. It brought tears to my eyes. This is why our parents stayed married for decades, this right here. Love is a decision. God bless your marriage, it will stand any challenge. Loved this conversation. ❤❤❤
I love the realness in this conversation. You can tell it wasn’t rehearsed to fit a certain aesthetic but it was a genuine convo to have between the two of you. You didn’t have to share this moment with us but I’m so glad yal did! We need more of this. Yal are who yal are to each other and that needs no explanation. May God continue to bless your union.❤
About 65% of the people don't marry their type. Everyone isn't going to have all of the qualities you want, and sometimes your type isn't really your type. Sometimes, people have to grow on you. It's not always a bad thing. It's more so because we are use to a certain type or way. We tend to overlook people, places, and things in life. It doesn't change until we take those blinders off and give things a chance. Then you will only realize what you thought was for you, really isn't for you.
I can definitely appreciate this type of conversation. Marriage is not a fairytale, especially not a long lasting marriage. Marriage is for grown folks who can be open and honest. When we want what God wants for us rather than our flesh, this is what it looks like. Overtime the relationship is built. Also, God does not call us to idolize our mate. After all, He gives us a help-mate not a fan. For those who get it, they understand this dynamic. Takes a level of maturity to do so. God bless this union.
The negative comments is why a lot of women remain single because y'all think real life works like Disney. It's not always love at first sight. Sometime love grows. That's real life. God bless y'all.
This is the type of marriage that will last. Very similar to my story I didn’t see my wife as someone I would marry when I first met her and I’m sure she thought the same. We both fell in love and didn’t settle. We just realized after overcoming a lot we were meant to be
Only matured ppl will understand this!! Nobody in the comments can tell us if their great grandparents married their “type” in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter especially 50 to 90 years from now!!
Yeah I think that he chose her because he is thinking 20-30 years down the road. There’s no telling what will happen but he probably was seeking the personal growth. That’s rare for a man this generation. I appreciate this video for that reason.
I feel this comment section is so judgy makes me uncomfortable 🥴 No one would say this to y’all’s face… very un Godly.. but God bless y’all’s union! I’m glad y’all are talking about this!! I’m here to understand, not to push my own opinions ❤
Some of y’all clearly didn’t watch the whole video. He knows his wife is beautiful and is attracted to her. He’s just saying that she’s not his “type” due to how different they are. I was a bit thrown off at the beginning as well but got a better understanding as to what he was really implying. I enjoyed this video and hope nothing but the best for this couple ❤
I think this is the actual real way of God putting two people together ❤️ he is a matchmaker, not just physically he knows what the two people need from one another. I love this. It prepares my mind and heart to know this is also a way of God's work.
I agree with this podcast. You need someone who sees past the outer beauty. What if your spouse lost a limb🤔 You need that kind of unconditional Godly love. For better or worse. God looks at the heart not the outer beauty like man does.
At first I was side eyeing the title & the first few minutes of the video but then the more I just sat and listen to actually hear instead of judge, this made absolutely so much sense and was an amazing video to watch! I appreciate the full transparency y’all had because in reality it’s not to say the things we think we want or are attracted to are bad and won’t work out but if we are talking about the long haul and a healthy growing long haul that may not be what you think you want because you don’t know what all comes with that and may not be healthy towards growing for either person. Plus again if we are talking about HEALTHY partnership looking at only the now and surface level now it’s not going to be what helps to build let alone grow a good foundation for longevity. Big props to you all and speak continued blessings for you all.
This is basically what the creators of married at first sight talk about. The moment a cast member says they are not physically attracted to their spouse, they are very quick to mention that relationships/marriages are more than that. I guess it makes sense for tv, but reading these comments people don’t agree with that in real life? In my opinion it doesn’t seem like they settled for one another.
21:09 I genuinely feel like there’s chemistry, you guys are complimentary and a lot of your humor and mannerisms feel very much like ‘inside-jokes/things’. I’m not opposed to growing in love instead of falling, which is what seemingly happened here. I think it’s a beautiful thing. Love is such a dynamic thing, there’s no one way of it happening.
Love how he is correcting her for saying "...heard me sang" when he said "You sung" instead of "You sang." It's interesting how long it took them to recall the first time they met/first impressions. This is a different experience than I've seen people share on RU-vid, so I appreciate the vulnerability. Adorable baby!
Hi, I LOVE this conversation. From reading the comments, some people haven’t experienced what you’re talking about and can’t relate. I married my preference but it ended being the worst experience I’ve been through. I’m now in a relationship with someone that I would never imagine being with and it’s the best decision I’ve made. A suitmate is better than a preference. Looks don’t pay the bills, it doesn’t shelter your from heartbreak. I understand everything you’ve expressed because I went through it. All of us are not always fortunate to meet our suitmate as well as our preference. Thanks for being brave and opening up!
In my little world it means way more than physical attraction 🫣 for instance a man who's not kind, financially stable and doesn't have a relationship with Christ is not my type 🫣
@@deborahappreciates8 only reason I’m asking because I don’t think I could date someone who’s not good looking to my eyes. Whether he’s my type or not. Like dirty fingernails for an example. Multiple kids/baby mamas/drinks or smokes.
I think your love story is beautiful, intentional and God centered. Thank you for your transparency. Some of us get caught in the love bombing fairytale narrative of relationship. The hard days will come and the “fairytale” love will fade quick leading to chaos. And only the love of Christ will help through those trials and sustain a healthy marriage.
They are very honest with each other and know how to communicate I see that is TRIGGERING y’all. And as you can see the is literally holding a baby, this is still probably a very new stage in their relationship. Give people grace before trying to disgrace them.
I understood totally what they’re explaining… it’s the classic case of YOU CAN’T help who your heart falls for … as young adults we’re not accustomed to stretching ourselves beyond LUST .. lust is typically the driving force of who’s considered ATTRACTIVE when we’re young.. as we mature who crave SUBSTANCE more than MATERIAL things. Men usually want a Wife & she’s most likely completely different physically and mentally than all the women he’s had failed relationships with.. women usually no longer crave the bad boy & desire to be with someone they can trust and make them feel loved, appreciated & respected .. So as we round into form … we can end up with a person typically we would’ve never looked twice at in that way because now our scope of life and what’s needed has changed 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ i enjoyed the transparency because many can RELATE
I think this is true you don’t marry type because that doesn’t last . You marry reliability, honesty, loyalty, friendship, love, understanding , non judgement . That is what is most important . I’m 35 I found it in a 25 year old man never met someone so mature and serious and yes it was unexpected so I understand what you are saying ! You must both be ready also. The rest is god . Love your channel important topic .
Honestly, it sounds like you had a similar experience to arranged marriages with the bonus of building a friendship. As you said, yall grew together and that seems very similar to how arranged marriages can grow to be love as well. Everything doesnt have to be a love story from a book. Its y'all love story and thats beautiful ❤️
Being an attractive woman of God myself and one who is also wise.Because the heart of a person is as of importance than physical beauty. And the Lord said in His word in this scripture 1st Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel :Do not look at his appearance (King Saul) or physical stature. Because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees. For man (humans) looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.
My takeaway was that you guys didn't start off with a steamy romance but instead it was practical. You both were fulfilling some roles that a wife/husband would serve without thinking about it. This is the same story with my husband and I. People don't understand this because, myself included (had), has been heavily influenced by the media and books that depict a "whirlwind romance" or "FALLING in love". In hindsight, I think this is better because I've seen so many people get married and THEN notice or experience the lack of fulfillment from their spouse that they had overlooked in the infatuation stage. Personally, I had been so jaded by guys that I was so into that I thank God didn't result in marriage. I'm sure like, with my husband, once he realized that she was his wife (which happens before marriage), he was a lot more forthcoming. This discussion is bold but so necessary in a time when single people, even Christians, are so bogged down by their desires and lists without being open to what God has for them that may not exactly fit YOUR vision for what you need. Marriage is a covenant and an important commitment but unfortunately so many are giving up so easily because they're getting into it for the wrong reasons. Love this discussion❤ Subscribed!
I like that advise about not taking the counsel of friends when you are in the decision making stage. That is WISE, and I think that applies to all relationships.
That is so profound. There are some who are of age but still not mature. This is a good example of how God can use young people to minister to those who should be at this level of maturity. 😊
No! Every man in the Bible married the woman he was attracted to. Looks are important. They bible clear speaks of the importance of beauty to a man. We have to be careful with sending this suffer through it narrative to women its not true!
@@DeettamoniqueI disagree sis, a lot of times we come w/ our own preferences, when God knows just what we need. With time u fall in love with who the person is inside. Looks fade. Inner beauty is lasting. Boaz was an elderly man, Ruth was very young, he even honored her for not choosing the younger men surrounding her when she could have. When its God’s will he will allow the attraction to take place even when not initially.
@@Ash2beauty im sorry but the rules God gave man dont apply for a woman and vic versa. In the bible these women were picked based on their beauty. Their husbands honored them by protecting & providing. We see were Hannah was favored more because of her appearance too. As a woman your goal is to marry a Godly man that will protect and provide. The appearance of the woman will always be the mans motivation to do so.Its hard to hear but men are men and as a woman your appearance will give you favor which the bible shows. Boaz legacy kept Ruth even after he died, Ruth chose wisely!
@@Ash2beautyWow this is so true. I have read everything you saying in God’s word. God looks at the heart not the outer appearance like man does. His ways & thoughts are higher than ours.
I wish more people had this conversation because most people I know didn't marry their initial "type" and many of them are still married after 10 and 20+ years. Just saying. The thing is many people "think" they know their type but really don't. They end up learning more about themselves when they end up with the person they thought wasn't their type. Sometimes that's the fear and why they don't pursue someone else...because they ARE afraid of growth.
Wow I actually love you alls story because it’s realistic, you all actually did things the correct way. You all were friends first and got to know each other( courts-man-ship). Then asked God for permission. You all weren’t caught up in looks which is amazing because beauty fades. Y’all connection is much deeper. Life is not always a Cinderella story and thats just the reality of it all.This is amazing. Way to go guys I’m so happy you all decided to share your story with the world.❤
I’m trusting God for all my heart desires in my husband that align with his, including physical attraction on top of chemistry & spiritual attraction being the main objective because I know that beauty fades. We see each other hearts. Which lies the real connection. I’m in this thing for the long haul. For Better Or Worse Til Death Do Us Part. FOREVER❗️Purpose, Calling, & Destiny Aligned. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 God, my husband, & I.
Appreciate the authenticity! They appear to have a solid friendship which is key, and I think they clearly communicated that they came to see each other's beauty and how they compliment each other. I think if more of us submitted our "types" to God to hear what he has to say, we'd realize that what he has in mind is better than what we thought our type was. (For those who are believers)
Funny- people thought my wife and i were odd together- but i think it was our distinct complextions. Funny - their story sounds eerily familiar to me and my wife's, but im 3 years younger. She invited me to church- she was 33 and i was 30. i ran a fixed income and derivatives trading desk at an investment bank at the time (she had no clue what that was😅). She was a virgin before we married (we found out what vaginismus was on our wedding night 😂😂) and i couldn't understand why, that was until i started studying the Bible - we couldn't have been more different - but we were and still are the best of friends. This type stuff is crazy
Well first I want to say thank you guys for being honest and open and sharing your story! Next it’s so many people who feel offended or off put by this topic and truth is this is sooo many peoples marriages and relationships right now. Most people are not with their ‘ideal’ partner…heck a lot of people are in even worse positions they’re the stepping stone relationship or they’re the cover up. Honestly a huge majority of relationships are not the ideal I think that’s why it offends so many people because they want to be the exception to the rule. Once you step outside of ego and actually operate above it actually can open your eyes to the whole situation. Anywho much love. ❤
Title caught my attention so I read the comments as a preview to make sure this wasn't going to be some messed up video where one of them are bashing the other and to my surprise the comments seem to have missed the intro where this husband and wife state who created the idea (his wife) who agreed to film it (her husband) and that they were both okay with making this a topic of conversation because they are okay now and happy with their decision. I'm only at the beginning but I thought I'd mention that for viewers that read the comments don't let them deter you or encourage you to skip around the video or you might me subject to missing key parts. And before I continue on with the video please remember yall physical attraction is not everything many people that get together based on that grow apart and end up divorced because as we age we will begin to look different and through different stages of life your husband/wife may see you at your worse and if they are only there because you are pretty/handsome that is a recipe for disaster.
New subscriber off this alone. Love the authenticity, transparency.. this is raw and real. People let “social media couples” misconstrue the reality of relationships. You guys are great together. I can see the connection and how y’all connect - it’s more mental. You both are definitely compatible in energy.
Both of you are very Mature and way above your years...Stay focused on your Vision for your family. And what it is you both want to accomplish together . ❤❤❤
This was a blessing, this is proof of God is in it then you can’t lose. This a great testimony because so many of us fold because we aren’t granted our ideal person!!
Watching how this woman is sitting there nurturing their child all while holding a meaningful conversation with her husband. Is so beautiful y'all definitely made the right choice.And idc what y'all say hanging out so much and talking everyday there was attraction there it just sounded like y'all were not ready for it to be because of the reservations you had about age or other characters in yall lives at the time. Y'all friends knew but yall were a little delusional thinking it was just normal for a man and women to come running to each others rescue as yall did 🍜 but I'mma shut up 😂 I heavily recommend y'all watch the whole video
This was very real. And I appreciate the authentic interactions of a real married couple instead of those that are curated for social media. My husband and I are nearly 7 years apart so I get what you're saying.
The title makes you sideeye 👀 & is very catchy! Wife knew what she was doing there lol! But overall, I don’t see anything wrong w/ their experience. I think it’s typical human attraction. You see somebody they may be a 6 or ok looking to you. But if you’re not shallow & get to know that person’s heart & spirit, they immediately go from a 6 to a 10!! It’s not just about the looks, it’s about how that person treats you & make you feel! You guys are a beautiful couple & looks compatible❤ Praying more life, love, blessings🙏🏾🙏🏾 #LoveNotLust #MakingLove2TheMind
This is most marriages in real life. People dont typically marry their dream person. I wouldnt prefer it, or marriage at all but as long as their values align, i hope they treat eachother well.
See this is true. Although it may make people feel a type of way this is possible. My man isn’t my go to type but he’s not ugly and I am attracted to him. Same for him with me. This could only be an issue if the person you’re with is still missing “their type”.
i kind of feel like feels like hes settling due to her being dark skin and thats alarming had she been an average looking light skin woman this video wouldnt even exist. that is all but great video...i guess
No, I don't see that at all. They're equal in attractiveness. He's not physically attracted to her. He didn't say a single physical attribute about her that he liked.
@@Sirchingsince he didn't have to its pretty obvious why she isn't his type. She is pretty in my opinion and alot of men would see her as their type. He doesn't
Appreciate you watching. You’re right, there would be no need for a “not my type” video if we originally were each other’s type. As far as settling, I’m mature enough to not ask any female for her hand in marriage if I’m “just settling”. Settling and uncertainty are different. Again, Preciate you watching and we hope you continue to check us out. - Raf (The husband)
Hey! I have a question for the husband who replied to the comment. I just find it strange that you didn’t defend your wife’s skin tone. Can you comment on that?
@@UsandOurs fair response. life is short date who you is your type. I rather a man not talk to me knowing he prefers lighter than me rather than investing and committing to me knowing if he found a woman who was type and would date him he'd be conflicted.
I’m in this predicament as well and it’s made me look outside of my flesh but the fruits of the spirit. Such a powerful position to be in because God shows you it’s so much more than someone’s splendorous nature and helps you too look at people the way Jesus did.
This proves that God will do his will in everything. He will do the unexpected ❤️. But I learnt a lot from all of you. May the good Lord bless your union, because what God has joined no man can separate 🙏
