@@ACrownofFlowers thats okay, I will pray for it anyway because thats what i know how to do... i know that could be a touchy question though so thanks for replying 🥰
You are right. The pain is extremely painfull. And heavy. I it hits you to the core of your being. Its like a pit of dispare. You are absolutely right actions speak louder than words. I'm 43 and no girl has ever wanted to be my friend my entire life. I am poor and do not have a lot of money. Do girls ignore me. And by their actions of ignoring me it is comunicateing to me that women are not interested. And I am not worthy. I am not good enough. I do not deserve their attention love friendship or affection. It is painfull. There is a lot of research on how loneliness and stress and depression. Is bad for your health amd well being. There is a lot of research on the health benefits of physical touch. Hugs love and affection. I am ignored by women. I suffer from all the negative health problems of years of loneliness stress depression. Skin hunger Feelings of worthlessness. No one admires you. No one wants you. No girl is happy or excited to see you. They ignore you. It is bad for your health. Solitary confinement is a form of torture and punishment. Being ignored is painfull. And it feels like you are being punished. When people pay attention to you. When girls pay attention to you It feels good. Like you are being rewarded. You are good. you ate worthy. You are admired. You are someone special to some one and that makes you feel good. Being ignored is like a form of torture and punishment it really really hurts.
Stay strong brother. I haven't had a friend group in 11 years. As I said it's not an exclusively gendered thing at all-guys don't want to be my friend either-I mean if they are they don't want to do things with me. But the lack of romantic companionship is big you're right. I haven't given up though, I'm still going to try my best to find community.
@@ACrownofFlowers yeah things were different when I was younger I had friends to hang out with. Now they all have girlfriends and wives and children. And lives of their own so slowly over time stoped having friends to spend time with and hang out. I thought it was funny in one of your last videos something about your grandma thinking the ninja turtles were something bad. That was funny. I grew up as a kid loving the ninja turtles. Went to the movie when it first came out. The arcade game was Awsome there were 4 controller pads so that 4 people could all play together at the same time. Together fighting through the game as the different characters. I think you got a good thing going. Talking and starting conversation. Speaking on behalf of disabled. I appreciate you and make sure to watch your videos in respect that I notice you read all your comments and respond back to your audience. You put in the effort to agnawledge others and want to make a connection to others to show that you care and understand what people are going through. The pain of loneliness ? I guess the only light I can bring to this is that. Through this experience of pain you gain experiential knowledge and wisdom. You have been down that path and faced the obstacles. Now you can help others who tread along the same path and help them Through the obstacles. By passing down and sharing your experiential knowledge and wisdom. Being able to say. I've been there and done that. Thanks man take care
@@aaronbrooks3540 oh man I wish I could have played that when it came out. The old Konami beat-em-ups are the best. And you do the same thing is happening to me with all of the people that I know, they're slowly falling away. And it's no problem at all dude.
You've touched upon a very important topic, brother. We've all encountered such freaks in our lives. These individuals never hesitate to break other people's hearts just to satisfy their own egos. Sometimes, I honestly feel sorry for these people because they attribute satisfying their egos in this way to themselves.
I’m so sorry if you’ve ever felt dehumanized due to being ignored! I’ve been there. As a teenager, even though I look back on photos and see nothing wrong with me, somehow people did - being disabled and autistic definitely made them very consciously do so as well. They’d not listen to me, complain about my special interests… to this day, sometimes, I feel like many people belittle my capabilities. Intellectual ignorance towards myself is what hurts the most…
I agree. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know no one owes me anything, but definitely one of the most hurtful things is to see people that you've reached out to out and about with others even though they either ignored you or they told you that they were busy.
@@ACrownofFlowers for sure. And it’s painful to you J suppose because I think you like theses friends but it’s very hard to keep things unilateral, isn’t it? This is why I do agree when you say sometimes we have to build strong disabled communities as well, so we can maybe make better friends and have better relationships
@@alicexmelo yeah, especially mean that for countries outside of the US, because we've had that type of community before in the US but we don't have it anymore. Other countries need it more though. Instead, we're chasing the acceptance of able-bodied people, which I'm not sure is so healthy.
Good afternoon kiddo ! I haven’t been on RU-vid lately. Hope you don’t think I am ignoring you. Life happens. Praying for you to find the love of your life! ❤
This was hard to watch, but thank you, needs said. I've seen you at the transit center, motoring at 6mph in your chair, but I always just look away. No More! I'll probably get mace'd, but I'm starting a conversation with you next time I see you.
I haven't been to the transit center in years lol. Last time I was there was probably in 2021 or 2019. But I didn't know you lived so close. You should email me at askgabequestions@gmail.com And we can meet up sometime bro.
@@ACrownofFlowers Gabe, If you live in Washington state then absolutely, let's grab drinks! (please don't dox me!) But, I must now confess that I know it is unlikely it was actually you that I saw. It is about the right time frame, and it was a white guy in a powered wheelchair (you all look the same, lol) so it's possible. I mean, I hope it IS you, that you do live nearby, but what I really meant by my comment was owning up to ignoring dudes in powered wheelchairs in the past, and a public (sorta) commitment to actually talk to the next such individual when I'm out walking (I don't own a car, and walk / bus around). And, to further over-explain, my (mostly) joke about getting mace'd is because I really didn't know what to say ... after hello, but, you have helped me realize that I can use any appropriate small / medium talk. Hope to see you around, Gabe! -chris
@@godgetti Oh no, It's just that I didn't realize that other places in the US have a public transportation system called Transit. It must be run by the same company because my area also has services by that name. I don't live in Washington state, but now I get what you were trying to say. But yeah man please talk to us. Most of us would really like the interaction.
@@ACrownofFlowers your sense of humor has made me hopeful I'll be forgiven for missteps, that makes it less scary, thanks, and your insight and frankness has me hopeful it will be worth it, Cheers!
I had to look it up-but in what sense do you mean that? I've known about the halo effect, horn effect, and the stuff surrounding self-determination for a long time. I didn't just recently learn about them or anything. Just because I made videos about it in the last month or so doesn't mean that it was because I had just come upon the phenomenon. Also, just to reiterate, I've been very open on here about my own mistakes when it comes to social interaction as well, but compared to where I was five or six years ago I'm nowhere near as bad. I just hate that we live in a world that's so busy and so caught up in Mammonism that we either have no time or we just don't care about others. I haven't had a friend group IRL for around 11 years, and for the first five or six of those years it was almost entirely my fault, for the latter half of those it really wasn't (with a few minor exceptions). I take responsibility for what's my fault, but I also don't want to deny the reality of what isn't my fault. I'm never anyone's first choice and it just makes me feel bad sometimes.
@ACrownofFlowers All I'm saying is that perception is reality, but it may not be accurate. People's reactions towards you may or may not be due to your disability. However... if that's the only lens you see it in, you will undoubtedly experience it more frequently.
@@TheUnlikelyToad it's not the only one, but I do think it's the biggest one (I mentioned several others in the video). I think that it does color how much people are willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, that combined with gender bias. So like if I'm awkward with a guy (not disability-related) he most likely will take that to mean that I'm generally unattractive simply because I have anxiety, but because I'm a guy and have been socialized alongside others to be confident by default with people (also not disability related), this means that he won't give me the benefit of the doubt when he otherwise would have- because men are expected to be the confident ones. The disability part comes in when people aren't willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, the horn effect amplifies that. It could be amplified by the effects of infantilization in the other direction as well, but for the most part I've seen that happen only in statements rather than actions. It is definitely more complex than just the disability, but I do see that as the thing that tips the scales in most cases.
the average person doesnt pay attention to conversation based on an intellectual reason but because they want something from someone and one of those reasons ,like as you said, is based around attractiveness. wanting to solely gather intelligence from someone through conversation seems slightly negative as well now that I think about it....like what can I sap from this person then never interact with them again so you cant think like that either
I don't think like that though. For me it's never one and done. I try to hit people up and they don't want to cooperate with me. I'm not saying I've never been the one to give up communication, but I'm not trying to be transactional about it either. If I want to hang out with a person it's because I want us to do stuff together and talk. What about doesn't necessarily matter, I like video games too. It's not all intellectual, for example.
