Please stay safe, James! I know how stressful this sort of thing can be, and I know there isn't really an easy way out. I really hope things get easier for you soon. Many hugs to you!
I hope you get better soon. Maybe just try and do a few things, reading, going outside etc. I have the feeling once you get yourself up to do something that it makes you feel better :)
I feel that everyones route to better mental health is different, everything I was advised never really helped me, I had to figure it out myself, I really hope you find your way and know that people will always be there to help if help is needed.
:( I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm thinking good thoughts for you! Also. I posted a video response a few weeks back to your "How to Survive" video on Talenhatter. Not sure if you ever watched it. I made it for you with love
That really sucks that you don't have insurance, one of the many things that sucks about this country is that people like you (and me) can't get the treatment they need because they simply can't afford it.