QotD: what's your first chapter like? What are you most struggling with? GET ON WRITING AND WORLDBUILDING VOL II (the book with ALL the discussions we've had + tons of extra depth and detail) I linktr.ee/timhickson ~ Tim
I'm actually rewriting my first chapter while I continue with Act 4, being over two years old now the current one is really showing its age and I feel it's time to really bring it up to speed with the current work. Now if only I had the stomach to do the same with the rest of Act 1. So far, the struggle I'm having is just all the in-between sections to get to the key points. While it's nice to finally go back and really get the proper characterisation that should be at the start anyway, it's also bringing up a lot of holes that need to be filled, I guess kinda like stretching a piece of punctured cloth to find out where the stitching has to go. Oh, and the new opening line I used is "The silence of space did not persist long.", since it leads right into a space battle, but there's also a recurring theme of being isolated and silent in the depths between stars that more often than not is interrupted in some way.
in my first chapter, we follow one of main characters, teenage boy Peter. He goes to school which main goal is to train soldiers for draagon killing army. He hates that and the whole concept of hating magic. On his way home, he meets a mysterious woman our second MC. She gets attacked by drunk man and kills him, then flee. Peter is too shocked to move, so when policy find the body, he gets arrested for murder he didn´t commit (punishment is execution)
Yup. Jim Butcher (the author of the Dresden Files) said that he loved the opening line of The Gunslinger so much, and hoped to someday write an opening line as efficient at setting the tone. Since the Dresden Files are first person from the perspective of a compulsive wise-ass, "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault" is probably the closest the series will get. It's a great opener, not just because it makes you want to fins out why there's a fire, but also because if you've read the prior books, having a fire *not* be Dresden's fault is hilarious.
I had an idea last night: Imagine a TV series where every season is the same scenario, but some seemingly minor detail in the first act is different each time around and the whole thing is about how that detail can change the entire plot.
N. Traveler just add “and then everything changed when the fire nation attacked” to improve sentence. I was eating pancakes and then everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
My favorite opening Lines: "Where's Pappa going with the ax?" Charlotte's Web. "This is the story of the day I died." Is also the opening line of Tangled. "There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." Voyage of the Dawntreader.
@@polyhymnia701 C.S. Lewis wrote some of the best one-phrases I ever read/heard of. "They fought and reconciliate with eachother so often, they decided to get married for it to be easier"
The opening line to the first story I'm gonna right is now going to be "mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell". No matter what that story is I'm gonna make it work
“Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, but this engine is going to be the powerhouse of the world!” probably would work something si-fi or steampunk but i wish you luck on your escapades
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of cell. But the other elements are always forgotten, like me. I'm the aminoacid codifier of the cell, ignored and overpowered by the mitochondrias in our lives.
*It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of no fortune, must be in want of a cat, for what else could possibly bring him happiness?*
It genuinely contextualizes the entire series as almost Percy's warning to younger demigods, as some kind of advice to people earlier on the path he's been forced to take
And 'Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day.' from the first book of the sequel series is really great, because the overwhelming intrigue that it immediately slams into the reader is quite extraordinary, and it seems to have gotten a relatively unanimous reaction from the fandom. First question everyone's thinking: Who is Jason? Where's Percy? Second: I'm sorry- *electrocuted?!* What? Third: Wait... Jason??? Greek mythology??? It sets up a parallel between Percy and Jason, as it's immediately noticeable that both get their names from mythology (remembering that Percy is short for Perseus) and so we can expect more similarities between the two. Reading on just a little further, we can see that there's a similar dynamic within the characters to the one The Lightning Thief: A trio featuring a male protagonist, his best friend and his love interest. We also get a man with the last name of Hedge, and if you can remember well enough (I couldn't the first time), a satyr called Gleeson Hedge is mentioned in The Last Olympian, which then gets the reader wondering 'Oh... Is this a Mr Brunner/ Chiron type situation?' After the minor confusion of, 'Who are these people? What on Earth is going on?' Annabeth is reintroduced, which brings it all back full circle and relates the reader to the happenings with mentions of CHB, Chiron and Percy. Idk... I just thing Rick Riordan does a great job of captivating readers with the first lines of his books.
"Somewhere along the treeline of a dying forest, near a half-dead village by a river, a young girl worked at destroying the world." - The Shadow, by Kevin R. Ranville
John Grisham, one of the most successful writers in America, always said he wrote the first chapter last, so that if he had to cram anything in, he could put it there instead of in the last chapter so that the reader would not feel overwhelmed.
Jessie Ward that's cool I kind of have the same idea. Everytime I think I've covered everything and try to write my first chapter I end up expanding on something which delays the project
Jessie Ward I can relate. Sometimes instead of torturing myself about how to start a section (therefore getting zero writing done), it can be easier to start somewhere in the middle on a part that I’ve mostly got worked out or that might be more exciting to write.
Friendship is easy. Do they have a common interest? Do they like each others presence? Do they frequently interact with each other? If yes to all 3 of those, then they are friends. If yes to 2 of those, they are acquaintances bordering friendship. If yes to 1 of those, they are acquaintances. If yes to 0 of those, they are strangers. How do you make the friendship convincing? By putting emphasis on those 3 factors
@@BanditLeader That seems logical, but I have had, what I consider my best friend, for 8 years now; since high school. Ever since we went off into our respective professions, we've always maintained some degree of contact. At some points we may lose touch for some time, though, but when we do get back together to catch up, it's as if no time has passed and our friendship remains the same. I feel like if a relationship is strong enough, frequent interaction is sometimes not the most important thing to determine friendship.
A good book for that is Lord of the Rings...the fellowship is formed with them as stranger and by the third book ur weaping for them...they have nothing in common, yet the bond of fellowship (a.k.a friendship) they form is so strong. I really admire how tolkien made that..nowadays and even in the wheel of time, the trope is always "blabalabl they r childhood friends"this is so cheap.
With the setting of it being all the clocks without military indication, it shows a difference from what you'd expect. It's still a bit of a paraprosdokian.
So I was reading the list at 12:07 and expecting it to be serious, and then the second point says: Stabbing yourself in the eyes for how many times you have rewritten the same sentence. I was dying 😂😂😂. I love how he throws that kind of stuff in between 😆.
I am going to have to restructure large portions of my book after seeing this video haha. Thank you for the good work as always. Even if i am mad at you for now, haha.
YESS I wanted to start with a some kind of fight which turns out to be a training and now I need to review everything I decided for the first chapter. God bless Hello Future Me
Erm... "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen"... that's just a regular April day in Sweden... (note that we are almost up by polar circle so its always kinda cool, and that we use the 24h clock, so the "clocks strike thirteen" every day)
Haha! Yeah, it can be a little odd when we come from other countries. April for me is the middle of the windy Autumn. The story was definitely set in London, Oceania (one of the three major powers). Orwell's audience was intended to be the UK, and while it is true that having a cold day with grey weather isn't uncommon, there is still a reason he chose (a) the height of spring (the season we most associate with life and birth) and (b) a contradictory description. That said, I've read other interpretations of the line that are also perfectly valid, and we may never know just what his intention with his opening line was. ~ Tim
Traditionally in English folklore a] 13 is unlucky. b] there is something of a tradition of clocks striking 13 being unnatural/magical. If I recall correctly in " Tom's Midnight Garden" Tom can only access the garden when the clock strikes 13. There is also a vague association with "witching hour"-the hour when ghosts come forth and evil rules. Though that is usually speaking of 01:00 am. And April is generally when Spring really kicks off in the UK. We associate bright & cold with roughly November to March. But not April. So to an English/ UK audience that opening line is intriguing and foreboding. :)
Do they, actually? By clocks striking, it seems implied there are bell towers involved, and I've not heard of one ever striking thirteen times to let you know it's one past midday. Sure, it's 13:00, but you can separate a single bell strike at night from one during the day.
"In those days, there was a saying about where I was born: "There are two sorts of people who live in Thanesgrave, those who are lost, and those who don't want to be found."" The opening line if my fantasy novella
"And do you know where stories come from?" My brain: long histories of oral traditions that were passed down through generations, slowly and subtly being manipulated to fit the current age until eventually written down and made a concrete work. "Books!" Me: oh... Yeah. That too.
When you were talking about opening lines and transitioning into establishing tone that doesn't contrast with the rest of the story, I actually started thinking about a specific opening line that actually might be my favorite, and it's in a kid's movie: Tangled. -"This is the story of how I died. Oh, don't worry, it's actually a very fun story, and in fact, it isn't even mine." This line starts off mellow-dramatic, but more in a mocking way, with a serious, "This is the story of how I died." But then it immediately transitions to the playfulness of the movie, where nothing (even talking of one's own death) is actually taken very seriously, "Oh, don't worry, it's actually a very fun story." But what really ties it all together with itself and the rest of the film is the ending of this statement, "and in fact, it isn't even mine." In addition to reemphasizing the lively side of the story, this line makes the audience question his death, as if it's the "story of how he died," but it's not really his story, then is it really him that dies? The story was in fact, not about Fin, but about Rapunzel, nevertheless, it was in deed the story about how he died. But as the middle part of the line suggest, it doesn't end sad and gloomy with his death, but up beat and lively. The line sets the mood, creates interest, humors the audience, and even predicts the ending of the movie, but in a subtle way that you forget all about it by the end when the payoff finally comes.
I just want you to know, I pause the video to read all of your text, and I love all the hilarious asides you add. I'm also in the midst of re-writing my first chapter so this video is a Godsend. Thank you.
Of course. ^.^ My novel, "Ballad of the Apocalypse" is about the struggles of two girls, Natalie and Alyssa, as they attempt to survive the destruction of the Earth and find out the truth of why the armies of demons are invading.
YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON AND CONTENT CREATOR We love you! I don't normally comment, nor do I expect you to read this but still. YOU'RE AWESOME (Sorry for the caps)
"My name is Magnus Chase. I'm sixteen years old. This is the story of how my life went downhill after i got myself killed." - Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard book 1. While not exactely an opening line, this is one of my favourite lines ever simply because of how bizzare it is. P.S.: Love the new avatar, but try not to put white text in front of it in the future. In fact, i would recoment giving the text a small black outline just so it's easier to read when white background pops up.
radu nicolae It is a great opening line imo. It introduces the main character, hints at how the story will go on and catches the readers attention hard with "after I died". Since for most people dying is the end of the story it being the beginning is a great twist that makes sure that the reader will keep reading at least for a while.
I just read the series recently and I gotta say that line threw me for a loop. I've read the other three (not counting Trials of Apollo) and I thought nothing Riordan could write would surprise me. I'm so glad I was proven wrong. I only wish I was half as creative as that man XD
I recommend it. Riordan is often labeled a children's writer, because of his target audience, but he has a lot of nuance and actual history mixed within his works. MC in particular adds a new perspective to his Greek heroes novels.
I'm surprised you didn't use the opening line from The Way of Kings. (Not the prologue to the entire Stormlight Archive, just for the book itself) "Szeth would wear white on the day he was to kill a king." That is one heck of an opening line.
Two things on Cornelia Funke: 1. She is female. 2. The surname is pronounced entirely different. But it is hard to explain a German word with English examples. The "u" is more like the "oo" in "book" or "look". Also, the "e" at the end is not silent and goes in the direction of the "e" from "bed". By the way, Funke literally means spark in German.
Hey, Hello Future Me, I want to thank you for putting this video out. I had given up on a book I was writing, but resumed it after watching your plot twist video. Then I ran into a pretty big road block early in chapter one that I can sum up by saying, "What now?" All I need now is that video on Prologues (no rush, put it out whenever) so I can see if I did that right 😂.
5 лет назад
One of my Favorite opening lines is "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." form Neuromancer by William Gibson
Hey Tim, I need to be nitpicky here: Inkheart was one of my favourite books as a kid and Cornelia Funke is a woman, so it should be "she" at 7:37. Otherwise it was a great video
So glad you can't go a single video without avatar! My heart jumps happily every single time I see our favorite series mentioned. Very much enjoying your writing videos. As an aspiring writer myself who also hasn't delved into as much literature as you have, I learn a lot.
My opening line for my book is “I live in a giant corgi head.” Actually, my opening line is a guide on the Planet your about to see, but the line that kicks off the story is “I live in a giant corgi head.”
I'm always struggling with writing because of the opening and first chapter. I get great ideas for stories but I always freeze up when it comes down to actually writing the first chapter because I never know how to actually start it and make it alluring and captivating for any other reader. I always just wrote the cliché " my name is such and such. My life was normal, until it wasnt." I was always stuck because I didn't know how to do it better. This is most certainly helpful. I have a lot to think and re-think about when writing. Thank you very much. Even though I'm Three years late to the upload. I hope everyone has a Great Day/Night! Keep writing!
11:24 I see you and raise you. For me, the hook was even earlier in that opening; when an obscure figure raises a stream of water and shoots it at bullet speed while performing Tai Chi Chuan forms (that I had coincidentally been practicing some months prior) with Mae Whitman's wonderful narration of the first ever word of the entire show: "Water".
Yes the water earth fire air segment is also a hook because it poses interesting visuals and an interesting separation of elements The second hook is that There are nations based on those elements that used to live in harmony but are now at war The third hook is the avatar and his disappearance The fourth hook is the introduction of the characters and their interactions
"the reader becomes curious because none of this makes sense" If I ever write a novel I'm opening the story with "And then the aunty of Moist Curtle's teacher shat on his chest"
Can I please just thank you for all the "On Writing" Vids you make? As an aspiring writer, these really help me understand storytelling and also motivate me to actually write, so thank you so much, and keep up the amazing work.
I think my favorite opening line is the one from Goodfellas, its not actually the first line spoken but everyone who watches the movie will agree on what the opening line is: "As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster."
Thank you so much for this. I needed it literally _right now._ I'm a fanfic write mostly, but I still take my craft extremely seriously as I've been writing for over fifteen years now. I've been wanting to start a new one and I wrote a version of the first chapter I'm not happy with _at all._ It doesn't introduce nearly what I want/need it to in order to get readers invested and this, along with the AO3 group I'm a part of on FB, have made me entirely rethink on how to approach the story as a whole.
If your going to keep with the snapshot footnotes, you still have to give us more time. We can't stop what we're doing and pause that fast and we always have to go jumping back and then waiting for it to pop up again. Sometimes we even miss *that*.
This video helped me figure out the structure of my first chapter, THANK YOU. I had already re-structured it multiple times and even got started on it but it just wasn't feeling right and it was making me hit a huge writer's block after having so much inspiration. THANK YOU. It's like everything just clicked into place and now I'm so excited.
'Naturalistic Storytelling' was covered extremly-well by Hbomberguy in his Video 'RWBY is Dissapointing' starting at Minute 35, proving that Krimson Rogue Fans, Hello Future Me-Fans and Telltale Foundry-Fans should not just obviously check-out each-other (cause the named channel are very similar and all 'smart Fun') but should check out Hbomberguys channel. And heres the craziest thing: i will comment this often under each of these Channels in a vague Hope to spread Fun and share Knowledge, OBVIOUSLY risking to be mistaken for a B0T. Thats how much i love the IDEA that maybe someone gets in love to Literature thx to Me.
i think my favorite opening to a story (videogame) ever is... and i quote... "I remember the night of my 21st birthday. It was the first time i died." this gem of a line was spoken by protagonist Jackie Estacado at the beginning of "The Darkness" (game)
This is such great advice, and great job with the comparison of first chapters to exams for writers. That's really original! Thanks for the video. I always appreciate your content.
I know you made this video quite a while ago, but I am currently trying to finish a script for the first episode of an animated mini-series I have been working on for some time, and this is one of the videos I keep coming back to over and over again, because it really gets the gears turning in my head. My brother was a big fan of your channel before he introduced it to me, and now I am too!
Your channel is a blessing! I've been scrambling all over the internet trying to find an easy to follow (and entertaining) info dump about story elements.
Thumbs up for that Ellen Brock shoutout! (When I was first learning how to write stories, she was all I watched for weeks! 😁) I love getting new videos from your channel! Keep up the great work!
Thinking about this...I think the opening chapter in the story I've been writing is a sort of a mashup of a prologue and some of the things mentioned in this video. It starts with a scene to establish what the main character's regular life is like before abruptly throwing her into a strange new world, where she wanders around, tries to understand what's going on, picks up that she's in a generic fantasy world, and immediately goes off to try and find the Chosen One. Of course, it probably could have been stronger if I was _trying_ to follow the guidelines instead of just sort of stumbling into them, since as-is there's not a well-established problem to solve. (Though the way she solves it _does_ indicate how she'll tend to solve problems, so there's that.) And I might have had a halfway-decent first sentence.
Good on you for writing! I think the best thing to remember is that, while I wish I would've known all this for my first chapter, too, as opposed to 'stumbling across it', I wouldn't have learnt half as much as I had without just doing it, even if it wasn't technically 'perfect'. Yes, its easy to think that we could have done it better had we known techniques like this first, but I believe its more important to do something, put effort, heart and care into it, learn from it, and then make it better from there, rather than knowing the craft first and then hap-hazardly throwing it together. Tl'DR; Having an idea, being passionate and writing about it is far more powerful and an important first step we shouldn't look down on! Then, we take it from there and making it better through skill learning. Keep writing, keep at it! :D
Hey there, I just wanted to put out there that the most important thing is to write, as theentertainerist said in his/her comment. And as John Greene, a rather famous and very successful writer puts it (in his RU-vid video here ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-PCTO91aBFXk.html ) it's pretty much impossible to write a good novel in one draft. It normally takes years and often most of what you originally write you end up not using (he says he doesn't even use 90% of his first draft) So while everything Tim says is awesome, fantastic, and of great help. Don't worry too much about your opening chapter in your first couple of drafts.
I agree with you 100% on Sally Sparrow. I'm hoping she'll show up one day as a companion again, if a bit older (heck, Catherine Tate leans on the older side, even during Season 4).
"filling that void inside with chocolate" Really though, I stumbled upon your channel while researching better ways to write my comic script and bless ya, I already know your channel's gonna help me a ton. Cheers yo
'Naturalistic Storytelling' was covered extremly-well by Hbomberguy in his Video 'RWBY is Dissapointing' starting at Minute 35, proving that Krimson Rogue Fans, Hello Future Me-Fans and Telltale Foundry-Fans should not just obviously check-out each-other (cause the named channel are very similar and all 'smart Fun') but should check out Hbomberguys channel. And heres the craziest thing: i will comment this often under each of these Channels in a vague Hope to spread Fun and share Knowledge, OBVIOUSLY risking to be mistaken for a B0T. Thats how much i love the IDEA that maybe someone gets in love to Literature thx to Me.
Artemis Fowl was the only rival Harry Potter had as my favorite book when I was 12. Never would have thought that they hear it mentioned ever again. By the way: Artemis Fowl the movie is coming in 2019. Two books in one movie and only 15 years to late, what could possibliy go wrong.
I pray it sticks to the story and when something is added it makes the adaptation better. If they need to age up artemis a bit to get a good actor, I need the characters to look similar as possible. Let eoin colfer assist as director too add his input
I have recently found your RU-vid channel and can honestly say it is some of the most well thought out and intelligently presented work on this platform. I'm enjoying every video and have to stop myself from binging them. Your work is brilliant and truly appreciated!
@10:53 I was getting g VERY *worried* that *A:TLA* wasn't going to get even a single mention. It would be a staggering crime to exclude a mention of the GOAT series.
You're the best! This is one of the most helping writing essays I've ever tripped across. If I wasn't already subscribed to you, I would have by the five minute of this episode. I have been trying to write the first paragraph of my book for YEARS and I've finally done it while listening to you. You're the best.
I found you the other day and have FINALLY watched every single video! Your mind is so addicting, i love your insight into my favorite stories! Thankyou for all you do!!!!!
People dislike everything. Even last Friday, Philip DeFranco did a video on a man who saved 2.5 million babies with his miracle blood, and got dislikes lmao
I think RU-vid should make it so people who dislike a video have to post a comment stating why they dislike it. I get that, unfortunately, it would open them up for attacks, and I'm definitely not for that. However, if they have a genuine reason for disliking it I'd be curious as to why. Perhaps they have a valid reason that both viewers and content creators could learn from.
Thanks to this video I could restructure the start of my Avatar/Korra story, not just the first chapter, but the first three as a cohesive mini-arc. And I found out how I could fix it by adding things. Thanks Tim, you're awesome.
This is just What i needed to see. I've been recently working on a book where the gods of various myths and cultures flee to a plane outside of the universe, since they will die if they stay in the universe.
"SHE DIED!" the forlorn man screamed, tears streaming down his face. "Yes. She did." came the dispassionate reply from the imposing demon seated behind the mahogany desk, barely even acknowledging the mortals presence as he played with a slip of thin parchment, folding it carefully, creasing it with the back of a claw. "But our deal still stands" "You were supposed to save her. Heal her. Something! Your little errand for your precious flower just wasted our time! She still died. In my arms." "The deal wasn't to heal her. The deal was to help her." The demon looked up from his idle task "She spent her last week hiking through some of the most beautiful landscapes, found one of the worlds most exquisite scents, and died without pain, in the arms of someone she loved." The mortal stood in silence, his wailing stopped for the first time since the hellish minions had dragged him before their lord. "She found peace. You're just upset that I helped her, when what you really wanted was that I help you." A growl echoed through the chamber, deep, and resonant, and seeming to vibrate through the man's body. "Your soul is mine." The beast picked up the parchment, once a recognisable contract, now a skillfully folded origami lion. The mans vision spinning and darkening as the small figurine glowed, his body falling to the floor in a lifeless heap. "And you'll stay here until I've decided what I'm going to do with it" he continued, speaking more to himself than to the folded lion, that skittered around the mahogany plain, mutely trying to shriek it's terror.
Me: *Writes a 10,000+ word first chapter, realizes that I need to restructure it a little bit, maybe add a bit of something here or there and split it in two or three chapters.* Me: *Decides to ask RU-vid for help.* Hello Future Me: Here's what a first chapter needs to do. Me:ミ●﹏☉ミ Me: I have to restructure the entire thing.
![On Writing: the first chapter [ Logan l Avatar l Fault in our Stars l 1984 ]](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
