I could cry. I'm way too old now, but I am still single. At one point when I was younger, I wanted to seek God and dedicate my life to praying for people. I had an interest in being a nun. I had a really bad experience after talking to one community and never tried to talk to one again... Please pray for me.
I pray that you do not indulge in too much regret over this. The truth that most people miss is that our most fundamental call is to holiness and to try to become saints, with God's grace of course. Becoming a nun does not guarantee that this will happen. Sadly for many it makes the opposite happen. They somehow think that their habit makes them holy and they don't have to put in the hard work and grind. It it never too late to try to become a saint, i.e., the christ like person that God wants you to be. Most saints are not consecrated religious and most consecrated religious, myself included, are definitely not saints. You are on the right track so run for the finish line! Pray that I will not be too far behind you!
Dear 'drakovis', I think I'm in a similar position as you. I too have felt a vocation to the monastic life since I was quite young. I'm 70 , never married, but it's too late now, alas. I also had a difficult experience at an Abbey where I tried for a short time; I never tried again, but I've never lost the 'need' to become a monk. Let's pray for one another... G
I am so very thankful I came across this video, especially during a period of aridity during religious life. It's a gentle reminder that I should be seeking God rather than gifts from God. Bless you, and thank you for your work
I'm glad I came across your video, Br. Your remarks about validation seem to fit my experience testing the monastic life 35 years ago. Those four years helped form and guide me in my life as an employee, husband and father. God bless you and your community.
When you asked me to pause the video at the beginning, I thought it was someone who develops their spiritual self better in community versus in marriage or single life. I believe each of us flourishes spiritually in different settings. Each setting of life can be the best choice depending on the person. Thank you for your thoughtful discussion of vocation.
Thank you father, I'm discerning my vocation with the Camaldolese Benedictines here in Italy. I once thought I could resist this call but I cannot anymore. It becomes very hurtful to reject a vocation because of earthly issues after much discerment and prayer.
God bless you. I wish you every grace on your journey of seeking the Lord in the Camaldolese vocation. When the cross manifests itself I pray you will be able to rely on the Lord's strength to carry it. Thanks for your generosity.
Very interesting the perspective of channeling one's merits in an ecclesial community, since God Himself instituted The Church, which means that it must be the most profitable shape one may assimilate, not full solitary life as an orthodox would claim.
Wonderful video again. I can indeed imagine that being a loner is really not the best mindset for living in a monastic community...! If there is any place where one must learn to live with others, it is a monastery. I wonder if there are people who genuinely seek God, but never realize that's Who they seek.
If the great mystics of our Christian Tradition are to be believed then we are all made with a capacity for seeking God and a huge hunger for Him. Unfortunately many of us fill that inner void with 'stuff' that is not God. God is good and helps us find him no matter how far we have fallen. So everyone has a capacity for God but not everyone seeks Him. But to answer your question more directly... I don't see how it is possible to genuinely seek God and not realize it. Since seeking God involves something very specific which involves leaving everything else behind. I don't know how one can do this without full conscious awareness... not least how difficult it is... impossible even.. without God's grace.
Brother Brian, thank you for this incredibly informative video. The Divine Office has (in the greatest way possible) utterly consumed my desires of daily life. Every moment of my day revolves around prioritizing the 8 hours of prayer. I went from praying morning prayer of the revised 'liturgy of the hours' to chanting all 8 hours of the 1962 Brevarium Romanum in Latin, using the traditional Gregorian psalm tones, in less than one year. To say I "desire" to participate in the singing of the divine office would be a drastic understatement of the overwhelming, "head over heels" love I feel for Christ to praise Him in song. The motto of St. Benedict speaks to me deeply and is the guding force of how I organize my daily life: "Nihil operi Dei preaponatur"..."prefer nothing to the work of God". I feel so strongly that God is calling me into monastic life for this reason...but I cant find the strength to take up the cross because it would require me breaking the heart of someone I care for deeply. I entered into a "civil" or "natural" marriage 3 years ago and got married outside of the Church without the proper dispensation from my bishop, which means my marriage is "lacking canonical form" and therefore not valid in the eyes of the Church...Since then I have had a major "re-version" to the Catholic faith I was raised in and we have since physically separated and vowed to abstain and work towards convalidating our marriage. But after much discernment I know in my heart marriage is not what God is calling me to, but I just cant find the strength to leave the woman I promised to spend the rest of my life with, even though I am canonically free to do so. I so desperately want to follow Christ into the life He is calling me to, but I'm stuck Please pray for me Br Brian! If you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
I am sorry for your painful situation. I am possibly the least qualified person to advise you because as a brother, not a priest, I have never studied pastoral theology. All my life has been dedicated to studying mystical theology, in pursuit of prayer and union with God. So I could advise you wrongly. But I will pray for you. You said that you have already discerned your situation but yet you are still in anguish which suggests to me that you are not finished discerning. I would suggest that you seek out someone with the spiritual competence who can help you discern more thoroughly so that you will be left with peace in regard to your final decision. Peace is always the end result when anyone has discerned through a difficult process and I am just not seeing that peace in your comment. And thank you for the comment by the way. I will most definitely pray for you, your situation and your wife/'wife'.
@@brianbr5388 Br. Brian, thank you so much for taking the time to respond and sharing your wisdom. I never considered the fact of how my anguish is a sign that I am not finished discerning, that makes total sense and is very encouraging and helpful. Thank you! Ill be sure to connect with a priest at my parish for some help. God bless, I will keep you in my prayers as I pray the office! Thank you for your commitment to seeking our Lord and truly preferring nothing to Christ as a monk.
@@user-xp2mt9lz8r Just one more thing. The Holy Spirit always brings us to a place of peace and freedom so as to help us make life-giving choices. This is true even if sin is involved or not. Anguish is nearly always a sign that our inner freedom is compromised in some way or other. A good spiritual director will help you discern if the pressure (that is compromising your inner freedom) is coming from an external source or an internal one. Wishing you every blessing and peace as you move forward. Prayers.
@@brianbr5388 Br Brian what you said really strikes a chord with me: "anguish is nearly always a sign that our inner freedom is compromised in some way or another". I am certainly feeling a sense of lack of inner freedom and pressured toward staying in the civil union I formed outside of the church, rather than pursue the desire I have of exploring the possibility of a monastic vocation. The motivation to stay in the union feels much more like an obligatory pressure than it does a free choice out of desire and love...I will be sure to explore this with my spiritual director and seek to understand where these pressures are coming from, and if they are to be trusted or not. Thank so you much again, I cant tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to respond, it has been so helpful speaking with you. Grace and peace! -John
I was in a similar situation to you, wandered away from the Church a decade ago, met a woman, started living together for 8 years and a year ago relationship fell apart, was disintegrating for several years. Been alone for the past year, lost a lot of material things. Now finding my way back, praying, back to Church attending a diocesan Latin Mass, feeling some strength returning spiritually. Many years ago I was a third order "oblate" in an Anglican community before I became Catholic. I was bound to the "Offices" and like you was chanting them as I'm somewhat musical and could accompany myself softly on keyboard. Might I ask what texts you are using? The psalm tones I assume are not printed in the breviary. I'm only familiar with the way Anglicans chant the offices, and I had several books on the go if I was chanting it.
I believe God calls everyone to discipleship. That will manifest itself in different states of life for different people. I know some single people who called to dedicate their single lives (time, energy, money) to helping the less well off. Whatever state we feel called to, if we live it to the full it always brings a sense of fulfillment, completion, and joy, not without suffering. Great question. Thanks
