Buck (Narrator): Are you ready for a side-splittin', finger-snappin' hoedown? Patrick: Yeah, pretty much. Why? Buck (Narrator): It's got good guys... Buck: (To a bandit) Your move. Buck (Narrator): ...bad guys... (Rico throws a tied-up bandit to the Sheriff's office) ...wide open spaces, and the greatest hero the West has ever known: (Music suddenly stops as the footage of Maggie, Mrs. Calloway and Grace slides down into place) The dairy cow. (Screen flips to Mrs. Calloway speaking to Maggie and Grace) Mrs. Calloway: Well, there it is, then. Three dairy cows who've never been off their farm out to scour the entire West for a wanted outlaw, bring him in and collect the $750 dollar reward all in less than three days. Ollie the Pig: What? Buck (Narrator): Let's not put the cart before the horse. (Horse neigh) Piggies (Raise their hooves in the air) Awesome! Buck (Narrator): Though I am fabulous, it all starts with three bodacious bovines who have a little Patch of Heaven all their own. K.D. Lang: (sings) I know a place, pretty as pie. Out where the riverbend hits up with the end of the heavens! Maggie: Here, have an apple. (Bounces the apple from her tail and passes it to her front hoof and shoves it into the first piggy's mouth) Don't go near any luaus, though. Sheriff Sam Brown: I'm tellin' ya, (Hands Pearl the eviction notice) they're gonna auction off Patch of Heaven. Jeb: I think we all know what happens now. Audrey: What? Jeb: Now we all get eaten. Audrey: But who would eat a chicken? (We cut to four chicks frowning at Mrs. Calloway. The second chick blinks his eyes and tilts his head two times) Maggie: C'mon, guys. Time for a little bovine intervention. Buck (Narrator): And get this; to save their farm, the cows turn into bounty hunters! Grace: (To a longhorn) We're looking for a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim. Alameda Slim: Hyah! (Wraps his arms around the longhorns) I think these cows got it in for me. Maggie: C'mon, girls! We've got a farm to save. (The song "Home on the Range" starts playing as we see shots of Mrs. Calloway, Maggie and Grace) Lucky Jack: Ha! Bovine bounty hunters. Now I've seen everything. Male Chorus: (sings) Out in the land where the weak are target practice. (Home, home, home on the range!) (Buck lets out karate yells while whipping his tail at a Willie Brother's face and we cut to Alameda getting frightened by the train coming towards them. We cut to Jack hitting a metal pie plate into Alameda's face, making him lose consciousness) Out in the land where they shoot the mild and meek. (Home, home, home on the range!) Buck: He must be taking foolish lessons from that buffalo. (Camera pans right, revealing Junior behind Buck. He snorts behind him and he becomes shocked) Uh-oh. (Mrs. Calloway and Grace ram their horns into Alameda Slim's butt and we cut to Grace kicking one Rico) Male Chorus: (singing) If you're the type with a hesitant bladder, yip! Yow! Your saddle's gonna reek! Buck: You cows are fierce! Male Chorus: (singing) 'Cause you ain't home....on...the range! Cowboy, you're really up a creek! Maggie: Last one to the barn sleeps standin' up!? (Home On The Range. April 2 2004)
