Our Dating Life | Racial Struggles & How We Found Balance 

I’ve never witnessed an interracial couple get this deep!...their always like “no your family never had an issue with my skin color etc..” but this is level of conversation is so refreshing and needed ❤️

Thank you for talking about this in an honest way. My boyfriend is Norwegian, I am a Zambian living in the USA. My interracial issues have mostly been with some church Christian people, who have thought because they are nice to people of color at church, that means they do not have racial bias in their thought processes. They would quiz me about my africaness, and about my how I am enjoying my life here in the USA , but would never really take the true step to open themselves up genuinely to me to get into the inner circle of their lives, nor want to really come be a part of my life to really see the human beyond the skin. They would even point out any single person of color to me as a dating partner without really caring if I am compatible with each other, only people not looking beyond skin is asking for major problems.

My first impression of your channel: Authentic, Christ-centered, and realistic wrapped in love, truth, beauty, and blades. Speaking from experience, REAL interracial dating and marriage is not for the faint at heart, weak, fake, or immature folks. Ya'll all grown up and still growing. God bless you and your families and I look forward to viewing more of your content. I pray all your relatives, extended family, and friends on both sides (who still live in a bubble) will move forward and continue to grow with you both.

I'm a "farm boy" from Ohio. I rely on wife for her to explain to me the real meaning of everyday situations of what happens. I learn something everyday from her about the black view of things that are really going on. Been married 44 years now and wouldn't trade it for any other life style. Keep asking her questions. You'll be a better person for it.

This is definitely a conversation more interracial couples should have. Heck it is a conversation that people should be having in general. I think it was easier for you two to have it because of how you feel about one another. Had it been two co workers I am not sure it would end so well. But it is a conversation that we need to have with our friends, our families, our co workers, people at church etc... White Privilege is hard to explain to a White Person who chooses not to understand it. You should do a video on that and how you really came to realize and maybe coming from Someone White other White People may get it too. There has got to be a way to make others understand it without having to personalize it like you experienced the epiphany.

Bravo 👏🏽!!! It’s NOT easy to tackle this issue, especially in marriage! Keep the positivity coming!!

Y'all are so refreshing, and I must say that you two are mature beyond your years. I am so happy that your channel showed up on my screen.

Ur natural hair is goals honey !!!!!!!!

Just found you guys. Love the maturity in the conversation. Your love for God and each other shines through !!

Whewwww Chillleee 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽 you two have got me in my feelings with this vid (bringing back those memories). So I have my own Travon Martin “ahh moment”. To set the stage, at the time of the Travon Marin murder; I’d been married to my husband for 6 years, we have two children my daughter is 13 and my son is also 17, my children are bi-racial (and not my biological children, they are my step-kids) we live in the South in a very diverse City, but we happen to live in a less diverse neighborhood. So I’m very very upset about the Martin case and the more we learn about it the madder I get. Now, the media has begun to dig into this child’s (the victim) background and started the negative reporting. So I’m talking to my husband and getting ever more visibly and verbally upset....when my husband says to me “What? He was a bad kid...he got kicked outta school for marijuana...” Y’all... I almost went completely HAM on this man, clearly the look on my face told him he had said the wrong thing. In my anger all I could do is burst into tears, but through my tears I proceed to tell him in quick succession that anything Travon did before that moment didn’t matter, he was walking down the street minding his own business and that man picked a fight with him - a child...”AND PLUS IF YOUR SON SMOKED MARIJUANA, WOULD HE DESERVE TO DIE FOR IT?!!!!” That was a defining moment...for him. He was able to see Travon in his own son. When the story about Travon hit, I talked to my son about how society sees him (to White ppl he’s Black and for Black ppl he may never be Black enough). When (not if) he encounters a Police Officer (for any reason) he can’t be a smart ass teenager - that behavior may very well get him killed. He needed to be UBER respectful and quiet, tell the Officer that he’s a minor and that he would like his Father to be called / present. These are difficult conversations WE (as POC) have to have with our children about race, that frankly White people more than often can’t fully understand or appreciate these circumstances.

I sent this video to my hubby of 15 years!!We have 3 kids ,2 boys and 1 girl. I'm Liberian and hubby is Syrian,Sicilian&Scottish so this was an awesome video .

The reality is that there are many ignorant black people not just other races. Not all of our people are educated and aware how things can be offensive to this day. SO many example of things we support in this country today that are offensive or wrong to people of color. Congrats to this man for evolving. I had to evolve as Black woman and stop accepting offensive slurs and saying to people that hey that is not ok what you said or did. Taking a step back and reevaluating how we think, and do was a major stepping stone due to the history. Love this video.

I appreciate your transparency on this topic. Tough topic but it's something that needs to be addressed in many relationships. I got a lot of take aways from this video.

my heart skipped two beats when you told Brian what if it was your kid. that's when I knew he will get it

I am so glad you touched on this topic. I have never heard or seen an interracial couple speak on how they work toward an understanding, especially when it comes to race relations. Thank you for your openness and honesty.

They are so complete. When she talks the way he listens to hear and look at is mesmerizing and the same he talks . I really that they took time to listen to each other. I hope god bless you more . Love from a black girl from nowhere.😍😍😍

y’all understand each other so much, i want a relationship like this

Man I love “woke” White people. I’m proud of you for at least attempting to understand bc so many people like to be blissfully ignorant

When I was younger I use to be so obsessed with idea of being in an interethnic relationship because I thought that it would be all sunshine and rainbows, but now at 25 and also no longer having a weird fetish about white men and being open to marrying whoever God chooses to send me I know that this mindset is so far from true and watching your videos have truly opened my mind to that. Mixed marriages are hard if not harder than same race marriages.

The realest interracial (interethnic) couple I've seen on FB! Granted I've only watched just a few but y'all top my favorites!

It's wonderful that you can talk about racial issues and I'm sure other issues as well concerning dating someone of a different race. May God guide you two and no weapon will formed against. Stay with God always.

Your conversations captivate my attention. They are deep and light at the same time... Probably because they come from a real place. May the Lord keep you!

@4:42 I really thought he was gonna say.."I walked around for years... thinking that I was black.." 🤔🤷🏽‍♀️😂

Interracial couple since 1992! Wouldn't have it any other way. There's a beauty that happens when one chooses to look beyond themselves at the endless possibilities of who and what God has created. Getting to know other cultures and traditions can make for such a rich life!

I have been in a interracial marriage for over 31 years. I appreciate your relationship and willingness to want to understand each other. I couldn't help but feel a little envious watching you two interact. Unfortunately, my spouse has his mind set and refuses to try to understand systemic racism, white privilege, police brutality etc. I think he believes that he's ok since he's married to a black woman. We typically avoid the conversation because of his cognitive dissonance. There is no question in my mind that he loves me and our family but it breaks my heart and honestly, makes me angry, that he just throws a wet blanket on a fire because it makes him uncomfortable or because he feels somewhat guilty for the past. Keep the line of communication open.

Thanks for this REAL talk . God will use this .

You remind me of the Grimwades from the UK. They are an "interethnic" couple who have serious talks like these with their 5 children. They truly try to place God above all things. Excellent vlog re: racial dialogue. This is what is needed in America TODAY!! Consistent racial dialogue until we understand each other. It should be a daily task until we get it right .

I am going to keep you guys in my prayers because when you are as transparent as you two are the enemy will try to come and mess with. I thank you guys for being so open to discuss this topic. A lot of people won't talk about it .The kingdom of GOD has no color, be encouraged.

Amazing grace. This what America need to hear, see and acknowledge that racism is systematic, and real. Much appreciation to you both for taking the time in your personal relationship and Vlog to articulate the importance of walking a mile in the own persons shoe as part of the process for acceptance and understanding of racial/cultural divide that exist in America. Very empowering discussion.

What helps your relationship is that both of you articulate and express yourselves extremely well. Communication and looking within is half the battle and you're so committed to that.

I thoroughly enjoyed this vlog! It was so real and refreshing. Culturally diverse couples should be open to talking about topics relating to cultural differences and experiences. ESPECIALLY with the unfortunate climate we're living in today. My husband and I are also an interracial couple and there is NOTHING we leave off the table for discussion since day one. You have to be. I'm glad your channel popped up in my feed looking forward to more of your vlogs.

I am so grateful to the Lord for y’all. I’m in an interracial relationship and my boyfriend have been praying to find a couple here on RU-vid that is authentic and would refuse to be colorblind and we found y’all😭😭😭Thank you for normalizing this conversation as so many people have made it seem as though we were off base for having it. Thank you for reminding us that there’s beauty on both sides to be honored and celebrated. Thank you for being y’all! Two new subscribers on board💪🏻💪🏾

Bridging the gap...great work Brian and Lexi! 😍

Been dating for about half a year now & everything seems so right. Like you guys we’ve talked about Jesus, life , goals , everything but cultural differences is such a hard convo & we’ve kinda address it before but we have to embrace the weird feelings to fully understand each other. Thank you guys so much!! Been watching since the beginning and having this to come back to , when I never knew I would need it - is such a blessing.

Hello a new Subbie from Barbados.I have been fairly disappointed in the mindless,immature nonsense on these youtube channels.However I like your serious mature discussions and hope you continue on this trend and not resort to the normal youtube trend of mukbangs and husband doing my hair nonsense.Talk about your Christianity,talk about how you both came to accepting Jesus Christ as your Saviour,talk about struggles with some members of your family (extended family,friends etc) with race,what about kids,talk about the difference in how you were raised. It is so sad that not only Christians but people in general are given this wonderful platform (youtube) to make the world a better place and all they can think about is churning out mind numbing crappy videos , to get hits,increase the number of subscribers and earn some big bucks.Sigh

Loved this topic! Loved you guys even more for your commentary. Usually interracial couples get super defensive and keep pointing out whether their partner is racist or not. However you didn't do that. You taught through showing your mindset and growth. I wished more couples were like you

I'm part of a fb group that's waiting and seeing this video made me post a question about dating outside of your ethnicity. Some of them were like "i don't care God sees the heart not the skin" others were real about knowing there's differences in culture. Made me realize even more that this conversation needs to be taken more seriously

Thank y'all for being so transparent and courageous enough to talk about such an uncomfortable topic.. especially in this day and age! Truly enjoyed listening and was quite informative! God bless you and keep you both! 🙏💕Philippians 4:8

Interethnicity is like a beautiful sunrise you want to experience over and over. PRAYING AlmightyGOD's hedge of protection, and longevity for this marriage. Peace&Blessings in Jesus name⚓

I love y’all energy!!!! Beautiful couple.

This channel is such a blessing and truly thought-provoking! Really enjoyed this conversation and all the discussions you guys have had. So glad that your channel popped on my feed. You guys are out here talking about real issues that couples like you face and situations and circumstances that y’all go through. You guys are like a breath of fresh air in this very saturated niche. I’m excited for more content from you guys. Keep up the work and God bless!

I’m in an interracial marriage coming up on 25 years now, my daughters are aged 22 and 19 . I have great in-laws. You all are gonna be ok😘

Wow. I have mad respect for you guys. Brian I respect you for the boldness of coming to this place of understanding, teachable spirit and willingness or having to change what you felt or felt you knew e.t.c and condition of heart I perceive. Lexi acted out in such wisdom and love your example as a woman , wife , daughter of God e.t.c. you remind me of like strength and maturity of a " black woman" ... this video was so resourceful and educational. I love how you wanna work as a team to tackle this topic and more. Thats what i understand to be God's agenda. He wants Unity of His church. I appreciate how intelligent you both are emotionally especially. I feel I've gained much just through this video. Bless you guys and your union in Christ. Continue to seek His steering over your lives/ marriage.

This topic is still very relevant and you both did a great job at expressing how/where the journey took you both.. If you both could go to Congress and speak on a larger platform I'm there!!! ... We need this platform today right now ... Thank you for sharing this hard & difficult topic ❤❤❤❤

Wonderful conversation! You two touched on so many necessary topics especially raising children. I believe that people go into it thinking “we just want to have children who love others and themselves and we just want to raise great human being”. I think that’s great but for the parent who is not black, you need to prepare your children for life as black children. Period. They will be seen as black and they will come up against some things that could really shake them. You guys did a wonderfully job and I pray that God will continue to speak to and through you.

This was deep. Thanks for sharing. Appreciate the honesty. We need more convos like this.

Thank you thank you thank you. Content that is thought provoking yet a positive side to it. It's great that you are both willing to understand and work together on theses and other issues. Blessing on you guys. From your new found friend in England. It also blesses my heart to hear young Christians folk talk this way. Only just found you. Look forward to other vlogs. God bless

Refreshing how u two have made learning every aspect of each others culture to better expand your love for each other

This is a beautiful transparency. Thanks for sharing your story. Your hair and skin is beautiful, flawless.

This is truly a power couple. Knowing where they came from, willing to grow and learn together, and prosper into the future. I will add as an aside, it always irks me to hear someone, tell another individual to not be emotional about, something thar does not personally effect them. So glad she pointed out to him, what if it were his kid one day. Knowing full well, all the emotions come out when it is your own cub on the line.

I love you guys. My life is pretty different racially because I was also adopted but me and my husband are interracial and we had no issues with our family "accepting" the relationship. It just is. We are very blessed but we know others aren't. We have definitely had these conversations but we know who we are and that love is love and it's a process for everyone.

"You know I figured I was aware too!" with ALL the black sass 😂😂😂 Love this video!

I think you all were smart in addressing this conversation with each other. You did an awesome job presenting it to us. It’s hard but couples need to know the truth about blacks before marriage. Thanks for sharing. The best conversations that’s been talked about among interracial couples. So thanks.

Stumbled on your family and I am so impressed, you leave all on the table with your heartfelt talks, thanks and may God continue to bless your family.

I appreciate you guys’ content because you don’t act “color blind”, fake, and unaware of what’s going on in society. There are some interracial couples who act like they live in la la land as if color isn’t a thing at all. How he didn’t get it at first even thinking “intellectually”....idk but I’m glad you guys can be transparent and get through things. Y’all are REAL.

This was such a beautiful conversation. Thank you for sharing guys ❤️

You all remind me of Gabe and Babe from Gabe Babe TV....i've only watched two of your videos so far because I just found you...but so far so great!😊

I can appreciate the candidness in this video. Its always interesting to hear both perspectives authentically. A lot of channels talk about cultural differences in a joking context, which i feel sometimes diminishes the actual complexities and sometimes struggle associated with being an interracial couple. I feel this topic is explored even less with BW and non BM. I'm a BW, i suppose on the lighter side, from the Midwest married to a pretty fair skinned / white passing Latino (Mexican and Cuban) from the West coast so logic would dictate we wouldnt have a lot in common. He was raised predominantly Catholic and I was raised predominantly JW (although we are now both agnotic). We're expecting our first child in March. My husband was raised in a predominantly Mexican environment where they make up like at least 80% of his hometown's population. I was raised in a predominantly white environment, but even then, at least a quarter of the population was black, so I had a more "balanced" experience. Latinos were definitely the minority in my upbringing. Because of my husband's upbringing, there was a lot of ignorance and straight up racist ideals towards blacks within his family and community. Furthermore, it was so casual and normalized that i dont even think they realized how intolerant they were. If im being honest, ive experienced more racism from that community than i have from white people, and i think that speaks to racism's tendency to brew in more homogenous communities. In fact, there was never a huge expectation for me to marry a black or white man, which i really appreciate. In fact i think the first school girl crush i had was on a brown arab boy. I cant recall the first "moment" where our differences became a point if conversation (my "trayvon martin" moment if you will). The earliest moment I remember was when my husband told me things his coworkers (surprisingly not the white ones, but the latino and black ones) said about either black people or black women. My husband never really felt a need to "correct" or challenge them, which bothered me, because i obviously wanted a man who would defend me, and his kin in those situations. Almost 10 years later, we are happily married and expecting a son. We've come together in the most beautiful way and we both celebrate each other's cultures. Honestly, it doesnt feel like we're in an "interracial relationship" because we bond so well.

What you guys are doing is crucial to you family dynamic!!! Good for you guys!!! 🤗🤗

i love the way she pays attention and the looks ,all eyes on him whenever he's talking. i like you two!

Love y’all channel! So real and fun to watch!

I totally understand you. I’ve had such talks with my husband and it’s been extremely difficult. Race is such a deep topic for interracial relationships especially black and white because of the past.

So I want to write to a book but I won't. Guys! I loved this video so much. I just watched your how we met video and thought "ok one more". What you covered about race was so meaningful and so important. And you talked about God? Yes! My favorite part was 16:28 because you're absolutely right. The onus can't be on black people to educate white people. I got so happy hearing that part, I almost threw my phone. 😁 Seriously, God bless you both. You got a new subscriber! Sorry for the mini book 😬🙃

Your hair is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're a beautiful couple and I'm so proud of the conversations you're having and . . . I can't stop looking at your beautiful natural hair. Thank you for being so generous with yourselves and sharing how you relate to life and to each other.

I love the honesty on both you guys part. Anything that’s personal and applies to your situation will take on a different meaning. Your love and respect for each other will keep you together. Beautiful couple

Marie I agree with you. Thank Coles. You both appear to be a loving Christian couple. God be with you both! Thanks

I lovvvvvve this! Soooooo I watched you an Nae’s video Lexi, and decided to check you guys out. 😩😩😩😩 I’m so happy I did. Sooooo! glad you guys have this channel. The love between you guys is REAL. I love it 😩😩. 🗣Lexi you beautiful girl! God bless y’all ❤️❤️❤️❤️

This is exactly why I have a issue with Tamera and so many others who don't enlighten their better half on the cultural divide that still is alive and poisoning us as human beings. I love that he was open in regards to his ignorance. We have to be willing to step into the others person shoes and see through others eyes to full grasp the depth of a lot of situations. I'm happy you guys are a team and are now able to help others around you see differently.

I agree! Dating someone of another race has its struggles. My Ecuadorian-American boyfriend and I (Caribbean/Afro-American), have discussions on race, all the time. We are in our early 40's, both previously married to people of different ethnicities. We both have biracial children, from those previous marriages, and still think so differently in racial topics. Thanks for sharing! You guys are beautiful!

I really appreciate the way you both were willing to approach the topic of racial relations from a place of wanting to learn and grow. That is clearly reflected in your personal relationship in how you approached getting to know one another. Talking about how you process situations in life on your worst and best days. What does that entail and why? Continued success, love and happiness in your marriage and as individuals being open to dialogue with others on this particular topic even when it's a difficult conversation to have.

You guys have real conversations and I like that you both are listening to each other.

Thank you so much for being transparent and sharing your story. Your story represents how God loves the world - every creed and every culture. Continue sharing because you are truly making an impact. God bless

YAll are amazing ! Support the movement we are a blended family as well!

You guys are great! My favorite quote referencing what Brian said about, what each person bring to a relationship/family is: “Respect is grounded in the recognition of the God-given value each person brings to the family. It is expressed through patience, intentional communication, attentive listening, a commitment to solutions, and an understanding of each other's uniqueness, boundaries and limits. It is also displayed through words of encouragement, loving correction, and responding instead of reacting.”

Wow. This discussion is deep. Wow. I found this channel from the recent shorts. The shorts. This is some great content.

I love you guys channel. And this is nice to talk about as a interracial couple. I am not in a interracial relationship. But you guys can teach and love one another. And what problems may arise. That way you know what's coming. Bless the both of you! And you guys put God first!

This video made me cry, so heartfelt the mere fact the you all openly discuss race and hear each is the beginning I thank you for this conversation God Bless

Thank you. I really needed that healing. If we all stay open hearted, if we do the soul work, if we continue to love & have patience, then maybe there's still hope for our nation to be united once more. Best Wishes everyone. P.S. Your videos are relevant, deep & important work. May you be blessed

Thank you for going there, I relate to Brian for sure, I appreciate you reaching out and helping us understand more and know how to approach things as well! Amen

It was great to see such an in depth conversation about racial issues within a multicultural relationship. Thank you for an intelligent & understanding discussion especially for sharing it!!!

God is in control.you got to be in love with each other . very proud of you Brian. you all are very wise .

I appreciate y’all. This video is great. Transparency and growth!

I love how u guys get deep into every topic, I appreciate every topic that u speak on.

I have so much respect for you guys! You are so REAL and down to earth . I’m christian too and it’s refreshing to see you guys talking about these difficult or taboo subjects !God bless you 👍🏾❤️

I’m so glad I found you guys! Can I say binge watching!

I'm new to your channel and I'm glad to be here. God led me here by sheer RU-vid suggestion. Looking forward to this journey. Thank you for sharing! God Bless!!!

Good stuff guys!! I love your channel! You guys are a beautiful couple! ❤️💕

You two are absolutely adorable and a true testament of what God’s love can do when we get out of His way. This is needed. We need to talk about it in our homes, jobs and churches. Keep doing what you’re doing. I hope that your marriage is continuously filled with love, peace, joy and God’s favor. May you both continue to speak truth with boldness and courage, and may God enlarge your territory. What God has bought together may no one tear apart. Congratulations on your new addition to the family. May you have a healthy and happy pregnancy and delivery.

I find you guys to be intelligent and you have opened my mind to a few interesting facts about the cultural differences between blacks and whites. It is so important that you two have these kinds of conversations, cause it's not a one time thing. These discussions are an ongoing part of life. I've enjoyed your video tremendously and am looking forward to seeing the family.❤❤👵

I just found you guys and I love the love you have for each other and your relationship together in God. True relationship goals. You both are beautiful souls. Many blessings to you and yours.

You two are an amazing couple. Glad I came across your video. I also grew up around mixed community. My family was racist in certain ways. Never a word of it when I was around. I just don't like it and I let my feelings be known. Sorry family but ignorance is not the way.Now I never used any racial words or tried acting "Black'. But I also never dug into finding the struggles of those in my community. I have best friends that are of all different races. I see color and the differences we all have. To me it's what truly makes the world beautiful and worth learning about. If we were all the same, how boring would that be. GOD made us perfect just that way we are.

It's good to hear this convo. I like how honest you are and how he admits his growth journey. We never have it all together and when we learn how to do things differently its okay to acknowledge that we've grown and think differently.

You two remind me of gabe and babe t.v channel thankyou for this video

I live in the UK and have just found your channel. What a beautiful couple and a beautiful conversation, so refreshing to see this. I am now a newbie suscriber! 😊 Xx

Love your channel. Can listen to you guys talk all day! Such a mature couple with the revelation of the Lord. Love you guys! Looking forward to more content & discussions. Especially love that you guys let each other talk and finish your sentences, etc (not talking over each other in a bad way). You guys just know how to communicate clearly with great knowledge & understanding one another. Can feel the love between y’all’s relationship. So good! God bless you both.

I am a new subscriber just familiarizing myself with your journey. I think you are making excellent points that so many people will benefit from. I am an AA senior in a multi-ethnic family with a daughter married to a white man, a granddaughter in a very serious relationship with a white man and another granddaughter in a serious relationship with a Latino young man. I love them all and look at the opportunities the circumstances allow for all of us to grow! The truth is that most human beings at the core, have more in common than they usually take time to discover.

Y’all just gained a new sub! & y’all are Christians🤩 love to see it!❤️ God bless your family

I appreciate you going deep into these issues, I almost feel like I have had the same conversation with my husband about how our kids will be perceived regardless of our difference in race. It's really deep and I appreciate you sharing.

It's so hard to find an interracial couple who is so open/vulnerable and also who struggles with this. Thank you!! You've helped me more than u know. Can you guys make a video on the type of questions you should ask one another in an interracial relationship while dating/first getting to know one another (to understand each others perspectives and cultural values)?

Hey, just found you guys today! The hair video captured me, then found out God is in The center of your lives! ❤ Thank you for your encouraging videos. You all are so cute, and full of wisdom! God bless! 👋