PAEDIATRIC appointment for JOSEPH!! | First AUTISM assessment | The Sullivan Family 

My son attends the nursery at the same school as your children, I see you most mornings on the school run 😊. My son is currently being assessed for autism. I can't recommend that nursery enough!! They have pulled out every stop and given him every bit of support he has needed. We currently have a care plan for my son in place. I would definitely recommend perhaps getting him into nursery, maybe only a few days a week to help with your assessment process. Wish you all the best. Xxx

As an autistic person I love how caring and supportive and understanding you are about this entire process.

Why not try and get him to school, get him assessed, you can always take him back out of school at a later date xx your doing a fantastic job xxx

One of my wee nephews has just got this diagnosis of autism it has been such a battle for his mammy and daddy but they got there in the end. They sent him to school to help the process with getting the diagnosis with the intention of removing him when they got it but now of us can believe how much he has come on in the school and they are going to let him continue. Keep fighting Ben and Zoe ❤

Please don’t be quite so hard on yourselves…..you are, from what I can see, the best parents for your little boy……love is the best thing….you know in the main what he needs….unfortunately my lovely we all have to conform most of the time…even us oldies….much love….God bless you all…Joan..x

Bless you and your family. I love you for how you are Dealing with the situation with Joseph. He is blossoming . I have seen his change over the past few months Whatever you are doing is working and he is a very intelligent and unique individual . I am sorry that is so hard to get a program Or services for individuals. Who have special needs. You are a great mom and you and Ben are very special Parents with a great heart for all of your children. Thank you for all you and Ben and your family do for each other and how each of you support Joseph. Bless you all! . It's great to see the love you all Give Joseph.

It is abundantly clear you are thoughtful, caring, resourcEful parents who are using the system to access services and advice. I can image your roles on RU-vid , while a source of community, don't help with your second guessing because of the critical folk on here as well. Your arguments sound very well-considered and loving, a holistic view of Joseph, no matter the social and educational challenges ahead.

I love Joseph. I think he is a very bright, sensitive little boy. You are doing the very best you know how to and I’m quite sure he will continue to thrive at his own pace and be his own person. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Joseph will meet every milestone your doing a great job you will get the answers and help you need love your family are great keep up the good work xxx

Hi, my son is autistic and sounds very similar to Joseph. My son is 9 now so things have changed for us a lot but he was very similar to Joseph in his behaviours when he was that age. I have to say that having the diagnosis has been very important for him to be able to know and understand himself as he has got older. We’ve always been very open with him about it and tried to help him understand why things feel different for him sometimes. He is now in a specialist autism school and is happy, confident and rarely has a meltdown and he can regulate much better and knows what he needs to do when he can feel himself getting overwhelmed or upset. I understand your feelings towards the school system and it wasn’t easy or straight forward getting our son in to the right school but now we are there it is amazing and it’s changed our lives ❤️

My youngest had what they called many years ago emotional difficulties he couldn't cope with crowds or school he went to special needs school for a few years then his second year of high school he went into mainstream he had very bad asthma from 1 years old I believe the constant steroids didn't help you are doing a brilliant job all you can do is your best to support him 🤗💞🙏☀️🍀

God Bless, Joseph is such a sweet little boy. You and Ben are so on top of your children needs. ❤❤ I will tell you as a Mom of now grown children, the Mom instincts are stronger than anything else. No one knows your child better than you. We also have our issues here with mental health and education system. I believe the education system is set up for the majority and if you have special needs or learn differently you are lost.

My son has autism and it was a very hard journey to get him diagnosed. Worse because he is high functioning so because he was bright they disregarded everything else!! I really hope things go more smoothly for Joseph and yourselves. I did what you are doing, put things in place and supporting my son - even family were not helpful - it's a long hard road. The best thing for us what to ty and be always positive and offer positive rewards. Autistic children don't deal with negativity and the word NO very well. Use iPads, and whatever else he's interested in to keep him distracted. A lot of people will frown - but it's not their child and children with Autism have to be treated differently to other children, discipline needs to be totally different and almost no existent to be honest. Lots of Love ❤

My son was diagnosed with Autism at 3. I relied on professionals to guide and support my child, in and out of school. They continuously failed. I get exactly about you just need a diagnosis to understand him, that was why I wanted to know so that I could understand him and support him to the best I can. But, listening to you, you know your son better than anyone and you will continue that more than any professional. Just research as if he was in the spectrum, and how you can best support him. Listen to him, observe him, make him a safe space and lower your demands and expectations of him. Listen to your gut. Xxx

You're both doing a great job with all of your children. Don't let things get ya down, Joseph will do great things with ya on his side and fighting for him. We live in the USA, and we have to go through the same steps as you to have the kids here get any kind of help for the mental illness. I was told my grandson needed to be in preschool to get help (We have custody of him and his older sister) ... And he was, but the place was not doing their job right for him and swept it under the rug. I talk to his doctor who started the ball in the right direction for him. Your son will do fine and love watching all of ya interact with each other, ya all very close to each other. Your wonderful parents. Sending prayers and lots of love your way. ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏

You have done so well with Jojo. He is a very sweet little boy. He needs a diagnosis so that he can get any help that he needs. He should have all of the help that he needs. They won't give it to him without the diagnosis. It is their way. May I suggest that when Joseph is hurt or having a melt down that you tell him that you are there when or if he wants to talk. Give him control. It is so hard for him to deal with things not being under control. Zoe you and Ben, your whole family really have done very well with Joseph. Keep doing what you are doing. Be patient with the system. I know that is so hard. My Granddaughters are 20 and 27. My oldest was not diagnosed until she was in high school. We had tried to get help and tried to discuss this with doctors and schools and heard the same thing that you are hearing. My youngest Granddaughter told us that she has just had too much people. I get it. I sometimes have had enough of people. I guess my point is that they are two different people and we treated them accordingly. You will get it figured out. Go with your gut. Don't let anyone push you into doing something that you feel is wrong. One of my Granddaughters thrived in school and one thrived in home school. Keep an eye out for bullying from other children and even teachers. We have had to deal with this also. Having said all of this I will tell you that my oldest, Merci has just graduated from college and is working on her masters. The youngest, Abby, is a sophomore in college. They both work part-time jobs and share an apartment beginning in August. I am very proud of them. All of the hard work and sleepless nights have been worth it. Big hugs and much love to your family.

I feel you Zoey, my boy has just started school and he is very full on. He gets singled out everyday. All children are special and so so different xx Chin up, your doing great!!

You have many well adjusted , loved, supported children and are not new to the game. Trust your gut! Sensory and ocd issues are not a joke no matter the age. Different countries assess at different ages so just stick with it and get all of the advice and intervention you can. You are amazing parents and will do everything you can with the access you have. One day at a time and don't let others convince you otherwise. Parents always know so just keep advocating for your child. Unfortunately it's a fight to convince teachers and doctors but keep doing what you are doing. You are amazing and trust yourself as the parents you are. Ocd, adhd and spectrum disorders are a huge struggle to advocate for when you see your child struggle everyday. Keep with it and it will all be worth it!

What wonderful parents you both are . I’m so glad I found your channel a couple of years ago…such a lovely family

What a little sweetheart Joseph is ❤ well done zoe and Ben you are such brilliant parents to all the children . always appreciate your honesty with the everyday ups and downs we all face ..Love to you all

Your Joseph sounds like my Caitlin. All the thoughts that you are so well articulating are the same ones that I had. My daughter attended kindergarten (5 years old) and that is when everything blew up. Teachers were great and we had a diagnosis for the following year as Caitlin having severe ADD (no hyperactivity). Much of the treatment, and ways to handle the situation is the same as it is for autism. At 14 she was then diagnosed as having high functioning autism (Asperger's syndrome). She missed out on the help that children receive today. She is 36 and a wonderful person. She does live at home because of other physical disabilities and the high cost of living. Hang in there and he will do well. You are doing things well and the self doubts are normal.

Zoey, I have been enjoying your videos for a long time! I really love seeing the dynamics of your large family and how you all love each other and manage your life. It appears to me that you and Ben have a lot of common sense and you exercise this and everything you do. It is obvious that you love your children more than life! I have two grown children, I always wanted a large family, but had fertility issues. My oldest son is clearly on the Asperger’s spectrum, and my youngest has ADHD. I did not ever have them diagnosed, and I did homeschool them. We observed our children, love them more than life AND exercises a of of common sense. It appears to me that you already know what Joseph needs. I was always skeptical about the “labels”….. labels will always have an effect on our children if we allow them to be labeled. My grown children turned out wonderful! They finish school with great grades and attended some college courses, and they both have wonderful jobs and earn a good living . When my oldest had issues with change, routine, time management, as well as my youngest with focus issues and time management, we use common sense to decide what worked for them, I have always been skeptical about other peoples opinions. So much of this is opinion …teachers are not qualified to diagnose children. I don’t even believe that social workers and psychiatrist are qualified either….all children are different even with similar challenges. We, the parents, know our children best. We will never be perfect and we are human and make mistakes… we are not always right. Children need to see this also! All of the things that you are skeptical and then doubt about, you should be. A huge example in my life is when someone asked me. How did I know that I could school my kids??? I told them that I was the mom and it was my job to teach them about life. There is no time in a child’s life where you become disqualified to carry them through. You are qualified Zoey, more than anyone. You and Ben have this!!❤

Hi zoe and Ben I am glad Joseph is getting some help ,he is getting such a loving g boy ,you as parents know him better than anyone else you are one amazing family take care xx

Zoe don't ever think for a minute that you or ben have ever done anything wrong. You both have brought this wee superstar up brilliantly. My wee lad was like that. Everything had to be explained and kept to a routine. From breakfast and all through the day until bedtime. Well done zoe and ben for noticing these problems. Some wouldn't care but it shows the love and respect you both have for your incredible children. Thank you for sharing this. I know it probably wasn't easy for you to do this but i think you have helped a lot of families out there. Wish you all the love in the world. L❤

All I can say is that you are the most invested, involved, loving mother. You have all worked together over the past year to help Joseph, and look at how happy he is. What an amazing!!!!! family. Zoe and Ben - definitely a match made in heaven!!!

My kids are grown up now and are all high functioning I didn't didn't know with my 1st he's now 34 wasn't till my 4th child went to nursery they picked up and he was diagnosed I realised all 4 was ...I'm now being tested myself at 53 ..all the very best to you xx

Oh you sound like me 😅,my grandson is 7 and autistic and it was never about the diagnosis it was about making his world as easy as possible ❤

You are doing a fantastic job with Joseph and it shows people will frown whatever so if his iPad calms him then that's great and its nobody's business anyway . My granddaughter is the same shes 10 and has been told that she wong get seen for 4 years !! She finds school incredibly hard and the school has been good with her she goes in. At lunchtime and stays till 3 she seems to cope with that at the moment like you we think the systems rubbish Keep on doing what you feel is best for jojo you are doing just great lots of love to you all ♥️♥️

It's tough zoe,everything you are saying is spot on,the problem of schools being underfunded is world wide it would seem,and what you say about labelling vs just wanting your child to have thebest supports is so true,I wonder what you mean when you said that you don't fit societies norms either?I wish the best of luck now and in the future with josephs supports etc

The love u give all your kids is paramount your family is everything and they are lucky , all u can do is keep doing and loving the way you do x all kids are unique and have quirks but the struggles are real its finding your ways which you are so dont beat yourself up much love emma x

Zoe thankyou for being so honest about everything you've been through. You yes you zoe are a parent in a million ❤

Hope you feel better for talking things out Zoe. You are doing brilliantly, as is Ben, & the whole family too! It was so lovely to see Joseph wanting to join in the vlog ( a mini Agnes lol 😊) He has come on tremendously these last few weeks ! Perhaps he could go to a childminder for a short while before the big step to nursery, or a mums & toddlers group whit him & Florence, widen his horizons & give you a bit of a change too? Keep doing what you’re doing! Best wish es to you all, especially Joseph xx (I too have an ASD child, & grandchildren with special needs)

Hi zoe so can relate to you great video.we waiting austim assessment but there is 3.5 years in wales it is very frustrating waiting xxx

I pray that Joseph gets the help he may need to enjoy his life.

It took me 12 years to get an answer to wot we already know. Good look on this journey

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤You are an Amazing Mom. My daughter-In-law works with Autism Families. I’ll ask her some questions You stay Strong

You re absolutely right !! I can understand your taughts and questioning yourself !!! Pls don't blame yourself dear Zoe 😘 you re a super great mum ❤️ . During an assessment there must be an SLP an OT and a psychologist together . Don't he have a weekly therapy from SLP and OT half an hour each will help alot .My daughter is an SLP who works hand in hand with OT finds that weekly therapy helps alot

My heart goes out to you it really does. Every day is a challenge.....the same goes on in our family. Our strategy toolbox is always in use. Its mentally exhausting but these special kiddies are so worth it.

Aww bless jojo hope it all goes well 🙏

As a Mam of a 24 yr old son diagnosed when he was 19 you defo need an early diagnosis. He will need help as he grows with so many things. My son got no help at all as it wasn’t picked up by them even though I had voiced my concerns they took no notice. He ended up in a very noisy full hall trying to do his exams but was so anxious and traumatised he failed them even though he was promised a table away from everyone in the school library this didn’t happen. He went on to getting his qualifications at college after his diagnosis. I have no confidence in schools and I’m hoping they are alot more aware these days. He’s now out of work due to the place he was working running out of work and having to let people go. He is struggling so much finding a new job as it’s not easy for him to put himself forward for interviews. He’s so desperate to work and is spiralling into a bit depression as he’s just stuck at home most of the time apart from an early morning gym session with his brother at 4 in the morning because the gym is empty. There is no support.

Bless your family! Joseph is a beautiful young boy and you and Ben are great parents. Joseph deserves services no matter if he’s in school.

Hi Zoe I have an autistic boy who was diagnosed at 4 and a half. A special needs school teacher went into mainstream school in reception who suggested place cards. So you go through the morning; to lunch and so on. They really helped. Our son is 24 now and understands his needs now but going through A Maze but you will get there in the end. We were lucky to get him in Special schools. I love your understanding of Joseph. I have 3 other children and tried to parent our son the same as those but it didn’t work. Please don’t doubt yourself you are doing everything the right way. It is very upsetting for you. I believe people are very ignorant who has never had a child with special needs. It’s not a “ label “ it’s getting the best help for your child and getting the best help for him. Keep doing what your doing well.

We’ve been told today it’s likely our 1 year old has autism by a paediatrician, it helps to see other people going through the same process.

My son is 5 - I think I have spoken about him before on here. As a family both parents need to work, so we had no choice but to put our son into childcare from age 2 which was during covid and as critical workers, he was fortunate to be bubbled with his sister and only two other children, it was a challenge with only 4 children in his bubble and all hell broke loose when everything reopened and he had to adjust over night to big numbers. Our eldest is 6 and the difference between both is massive and I never judge them against each other but I cant ignore the obvious when it comes to how each child handles things. Whilst childcare for him was an awful journey for him and us, we were fortunate that the SEN workers were amazing and they helped us so much, and they opened the much needed doors at school for him too. He is now coming to the end of his first year at school and whilst it has been very turbulent, between SEN nursery workers doing everything they could and opening those doors with SEN workers at school he has had the best support manageable and as parents they have supported us so much too. I remember wondering "what if I have to home school him" and I can quite confidently say for now, that wont be necessary and we are taking it each term at a time. Is there any way you can get Joseph into nursery and starting school as a stepping stone? Open those doors you need, take it a step at a time and if you personally feel the support is not enough, or its not right for him, then look at home schooling? If anything, it will give you that extra team you need, but it may actually give more support as I know first hand how limited support is without a diagnosis. We are still waiting for assessment, and I have no doubt we will be waiting a long time, but for now, we do have those extra teams that you will be battling to find a way around...Please know what I have said here is nothing but support as I know how hard it is, and you will do what is right for your family. Its a journey I wish parents did not have to go on but I know as parents, you will 100% give it your all xxx

I pray you get the answers you need for your sweet boy. At the end of the day all you can do is your best.

I have a granddaughter and a nephew both with autism both are very bright and have their quirks but wonderful children xxx

Our son is 7 and got his formal autism diagnosis the day before his 4th birthday. We were advised to put him in nursery for the paperwork side of things as it wouldn't be possible without school or nursery. He didn't cope at all in nursery so once they completed the assessment papers for his ADAPT team to diagnose him we took him out of nursery and have home schooled him since. He just didn't and doesn't fit the mould of formal education and I know in my heart we are doing what's best for him. You will know deep down what Joseph can and can't cope with and please don't feel pressured to have him in nursery for a diagnosis as there must be another way. My little boy still talks about how he doesn't want to go to school ever again because he remembers nursery. You're doing your best for Joseph and the paediatric team and Dr Gray's are excellent but press for another way to have him diagnosed if you don't feel he can cope in the education system xx

I got a small photo album with pictures of all the places he has to go each day, school, friends and families houses, shops, etc, put the photos in order and tell him that he has no surprises and show him again, it makes him feel secure! He is 23 years old now and stills struggles, he went to an autistic unit in a high school, he hated it, his anxiety was huge, he would vomit, I stopped school and home schooled him, he is writing his first novel! He has been taking anti anxiety meds, anti depressants, pre Gablin and Melatonin, he has been taking it for years he won’t stop because he never want s to be that little boy again! He will never be able to perform social interactions smoothly but we do a lot of role playing. Take things slowly explain everything, home schooling is very expensive, and it’s ok to have a day in the garden making miniature gardens, playing with bubbles, painting these things are also very important learning all day is hard so prepare every lesson, every book , reading books whilst having a garden picnic! You will be great because you love and support each child, and Joseph will learn so much more from you! ❤️

My heart goes out to your family, & Joseph specifically. Placing him in Nursery long enough to get the documentation might be worth it if he can get the services he needs. Sometimes you have to do some unusual things to get to your goal.

I can relate to what you say about joseph, its like a mirror image with my grandaughter one example joseph hurting himself isla was exactly the same totally over the top with things took us a while to realise things were not right and waiting for the next explosion and melt down, i must say starting nursery and school with them knowing what she was like was good for her dont get me wrong it was hard some days getting her there was a nightmare struggle to get her in class but she was good eventually she got better she is 10 now and very socail with her peers. Dont get me wrong she still has melt downs and tells you she doesnt no how to control herself so you have to let her ride it out but we can read her most of the time and try and get around her before she explodes we were lucky with her head teacher who got her diagnosed quiet quick isla has a bunny and ipad which are her comforts which helps her. I think you are both doing a great job with joseph which shows on vloggs school might be good for him when he likes other children an hour or 2 to start would be no harm you wont no if you dont try it might be worth a go. Dont think he is labelled in a box he is JOSEPH every child autistic or not are special in there own way, nobody should say he doesnt look autistic WHAT does autistic look like visually it doesnt have A look. carry on fighting for him you as parents no him best, a stranger wont listen unless you keep fighting for the best help he deserves it by the way love his smile brightens up my day when i see it and find myself smiling back ❤❤

You’re doing a great job Mum and Dad it is very difficult. We have been down this road twice and you are right getting a diagnosis is paramount for future support. We were told the earlier the better especially during preschool. If you can get him into Pre school, even day care of some sort it will give you further evidence to support what you already know.

Do you think being with children the same age would be beneficial, he has lots of siblings, but all have different interests, he would see how others behave in the same situation as he is, same age group, he seems ok wherever you take him, always smiling and running around, if he starts school without knowing anything about how school works, and almost all of the other children do, he will be at a disadvantage.

My youngest nephew was diagnosed as highfunctioning Autism. My sister-in-law was his motivation to get all help he needed. He has graduated from university as a engineer (plant and crops genetics). He is married and has the job he always wanted. Hang in there. I know how frustrating it is. He acts like Matthew did. He would go on vacations with me if I explained to him where we were going. He routines were important. He now tells me I'm his favorite Aunt. God bless.

You are doing everything that you can, try not to worry xxx

I know the feeling the hole school system need to be re done from scratch back to the bone the government need to talk to the parents what need to be done to make it work. And trying to get them tested is so upsetting as my older 2 kids I been trying to get them tested. My son I been trying since he was 2 year old he now 12 years old and I was trying to get my 2rd daughter an ehcp since yr1 she now in Yr 6 and still trying. I ask the GP in the first lock down and she said go back to the school and get parenting advice which I was heartbroken hearing this. We now moved to be near my family to get support and the new schools are doing the best for them The school my youngist goes to are doing lots for her as my 3 daughter has autism and globe development delay slight speech delay as I work hard one on one with her. We need the government to listen to parents

You amazing parents to them all God bless

This last year my 30 yr old daughter her 3 children aged 10,8,6 have all been diagnosed with autism. You're right it's not about the label it's about being able to access the right support. The public wait list here in Australia to get an Autism diagnosis is years so it cost $4000 each to get them diagnosed privately. The children now have weekly visits from all the necessary therapists as does my daughter. It's frustrating going through all the red tape to get that diagnosis when as a parent/ grandparent you just know without a doubt they're autistic.

Zoe - Loved your vlog. So great to hear that the whole family is involved with Joseph. You have a very loving and kind family.

Just watching the vlog, with regards to needing to be in school/nursery for a diagnosis. If you’ve deferred school for a year, send him to nursery and get their contributions and then hopefully get a diagnosis ready for school next year.

Joseph is adorable love his darlin dimple's!! Greetings from Iowa USA😊

Sending you lots positive thoughts. Our youngest daughter was diagnosed with autism when she was 3 . Your story about Joseph could be Emelies story . They are so alike is so many ways . Dear Zoe and Ben you have a long road ahead, but keep going you are already on the right way with him . Emelie is now 16 it has been a bumpy road at times with lots of meltdowns and lots of love . Learned much about autism though the years but the most important thing we have learned is to look at and listening to our child. Lots of love to you all From David, Emelie and Jonna in Denmark

You’re doing your best and just remember that is enough. I know it’s a long road ahead but you will get through it. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Glad everyone’s tips are helping.

You and Ben are great parents. I am sure you will pick the right road for Joseph. Perhaps nursery school would be a big step for Joseph. But unless you try, you will not know. He might be great on a small schedule, say 1 day a week to start and then increase it. If you can, speak with the teacher and explain his issues. Keep well.❤🙏

All the credit to you for your compassion and understanding of how Joseph feels and thinks and copes. All of this sounds so familiar, and so very much like what we went through with our middle son, who was dx with Asperger's (which is no longer a diagnosis). Keep pushing and advocating for him so that you can get any services available to him. I am in the US so I know it doesn't work the same way. Please do not second guess yourself; in your heart you know your son. You may not care if he actually has the label of autism but it will get him the services he's entitled to, which will help him in the long run (my own son is now 28 years old, employed, living on his own)

Zoe I so glad you have app..when my son had his app.i was relieved to understand why he screamed didn't like noise. Love you guys good luck. All you want is to help your son.

Do you know what, if he hadn't responded it would also go towards a diagnosis You are absolutely going down the right track for support and a diagnosis , EHCP would hopefully be able to be started on for school which will totally benefit him. My son has sensory processing disorder along with Autism and PDDA and needs lots of warnings before going out, we often go out with no shoes or coat in the snow Ear defenders are good, you soon realise what works You got this xx

Hi Zoe. I can completely relate to how you are feeling. Both my boys have been diagnosed as having autism as well as other co-morbidities. I knew all along that they had autism and had so many people (family included) tell me that there was nothing wrong with them and I was looking for things that weren't there. I felt wretched and was doubting myself which made me feel quite sh!tty. My eldest had to go under mental health all because of one minor incident in school regarding his SATs that could have been easily dealt with. This affected him for three years until lockdown which I feel saved his life as he didn't have so much pressure on him. He's now absolutely fine and quite relaxed about his gcse's that he's doing now. He used to have meltdowns where he couldn't speak and would curl up and be unable to walk, then when he was somewhere safe (either at home or in the car) he would scream, thrash and hit himself. So heartbreaking to watch. He's never been particularly affectionate so cuddling was out of the question. I couldn't talk to him either as it would add to the things his brain was having to deal with. I would suggest enrolling Joseph in nursery/school and mention your thoughts. The structure and routine could be good for him and it would help you and Joseph on the path to a diagnosis. It's such a long process depending on where you are. It took over six years for my eldest and over five for my youngest. Fingers crossed you don't have such a long wait. ❤

my special needs daughter we always tell her 15mins until bedtime my daughter does not have autism we thought she did when she was little she was diagnosed global developmental delay also had genetic testing which gave us insight she has duplication 17p and a deletion 17q chromosome . She's now 8 goes to special school near by she's come a long way we go to all therapy speech OT and physio. The pandemic we did no school at home was too much for her. I found the sensory overload too with showering brushing hair even brushing teeth its gotten better still get some melt downs ❤❤

Hi beautiful family my grandson has the some thing he is 4 years old the doctor in Australia 🇦🇺 are the some it's so sad 😭 we have to see the kids go through this love ❤️ from Australia 🇦🇺

Hope everything goes OK

High schools are like that in the US also. My daughter is a high school teacher and they are always pushed to teach for the test. My children are adults now, but the second, Stuart has autism. It took years to diagnose him. He didn't have any special education or occupational therapy. I'm glad you are getting some help with Joseph.He sounds a lot like Stuart was as a child. Don't worry about you knowing your child better than the doctors. You do. God bless and I'm praying for you all.. Elaine from Minnesota

My son is 12 and we knew when he was a baby something wasnt right, and seeing the dr and getting a diagnosis (took 3 years) has help us in many ways, you just want to make your child's life easier and knowing what it is wrong opens the doors so you know where to go, hes been lucky with school they have been fantastic hes always been in a LRC since the age of 4, at 3 in nursery they knew he wouldn't cope with mainstream school , i found a local group NAS they are fantastic nice to chat with other parents who understand and can give good advice, wish i had RU-vid years ago to help me i felt very alone as noone in my family understood x

Aww amazing news Zoe! Glad hes doing really well. Onwards and upwards. ❤ Thats strange they wont see him again. They usually go in to nursery or school is to observe him amongst peers and to see how he reacts with them. (They are doing this with my daughter when i dont know shes on a waiting list) As you know my son has Autism, however the school are now querying my older daughter now too. I cant see the testing to be different from where i stay to up your end. Usually Zoe, the school if they suspect they have autism they should put certain things in place for him again they have done this with my daughter a few months ago. Id call them and ask. So happy your getting the help. Ps yes im back haha and eventually caught up on the videos I missed haha. So defo missed you guys ❤

Diagnosis is important as its simply a gate way for further help in our terrible education services. High functioning Autism is no longer a thing. It used to be known as Aspergers syndrome. My son, now 27, was diagnosed with it when he was 11. Nowadays its all called Autism. You dont have to wait for a formal diagnosis to apply for Disability Allowence/PIP for him. Because as you will know these kids cost more to raise then neuro typical kids. Also i have learned through my long often hard years that these kids have a high pain threshold including water being to hot/cold etc. They also typically have lack of empathy/sympathy, in fact any understanding of others at all. But as much as they all have similar traits, they also have their particular ways and likes etc. Like you say "Joseph is Joseph" and with your love id guess he has the best chance xx

This is scarily like my inner mind conversation that I have been through with all my children who have ASD and one also has ADHD.... I am also going through assessments for both at the moment .. and its like you say .. I dont fit in societies norms, i dont fit the box ... neither do my kids ... i absolutely understand why you are wanting a diagnosis, and I went through every single thing you have... why are you doing this? Are they just a naughty kid, am i a bad parent ... but you know yourself when you think about it in a lucid moment... he will need the diagnosis to get the support ... and that is why you are doing this ... not for any other reason ... because you love him ... if one of the others broke their leg, you would want to do what you can to make it better for them ... its the same with a diagnosis for Joe Joe ... oh and the ipad ...... its a God send ... the only way an asd kid can lose themselves ... ignore the nay sayers ... they dont matter like you said ... what works for Joe Joe is what matters xxxxx

I pulled both my children from mainstream, my eldest struggled right from reception- school wouldn’t acknowledge his struggle - he has since been diagnosed with asd, adhd, odd. My daughter is following the same path, the wait for paediatrician was over 2 years- my son was diagnosed privately, we used his play therapist as “ another account of behaviours etc” instead of school. We will likely be doing this for my daughter, we home educate them both, for us we do t need the extra support at school so a diagnosis isn’t needed from that point of view, however it’s helped us research and identify triggers how to parent certain things, and also to come to terms with being a parent to a special needs child, as you get guilt, grief, anger, frustration then the clouds lift and you see life through their unique lense xx I do understand how you feel about the labelling it’s just to pinpoint where support maybe needed; and trust your mum intuition 100% xx

You guys do a wonderful job with all of your children. The kids are very blessed to have such wonderful parents as you both. Joseph is gorgeous and going to nursery is something that will help him to get the extra help he needs. Getting a diagnosis is the gateway to lots of support for Joseph and I’m sure it will help him to develop so many skills. My daughter is called Zoey just spelt differently. You are amazing parents and Joseph is a lucky boy to have such kind and loving parents and siblings. Such an awesome family. Much love from the land down under . ❤❤❤❤

Our son is also on the spectrum. He’s been declined to be seen my by paediatricians, CAMS, sleep clinic. It’s been a nightmare and it’s all to do with the fact he’s 6 😑 We are looking to go private as daily life is unmanageable with no support. I’m so glad Joseph is getting seen and you are getting the support ❤ It’s helpful and reassuring to see your journey. Thank you for sharing. X x x

Zoe, your words are so familiar to my family My grandson has Autism he was for years treated for ADHD which was the wrong diagnosis ( which was later admitted by the psychiatrist ) My daughter has a tattoo which says ' I wouldn't change my son for the world. but I wish I could change the world for him' The system failed him as a child and not interested in him now as an adult!!! The system is a failure.........you are doing good for your boy!!!!! xxx love from Kernow

Zoe thank you for sharing what you are going through with Joseph, trying to get a diagnosis and like you said it is not just because you want a label I fought and fought for years for help with my eldest daughter the school picked up when she was 8 that she was really struggling with school and work and her writing was like spiders all over her work they told me she would benefit using a laptop and to mention at secondary school after some testing at a mental health place I was told she was borderline with her IQ and told she lacked hand and eye coordination she couldn’t tie her shoes until 10 or ride a bike at 10 either she was sent to a group called step (Swindon to Eighteen Project) we live in Swindon, one time when she missed behaved I stopped her from going and she had a complete breakdown and the next time she went they told me not to use as a punishment because it’s to help her when secondary school began things just went from bad to worse nobody would listen to me I was told when she was about 15 she has a mental age of a 12 year old eventually she left school and went to college and she thrived there. She left home at 16 because she didn’t want to live at home and follow the rules because the teachers told her she could do what she liked and didn’t have to listen to me even the social services were useless I asked them for help and they just said change her routine, when my youngest daughter who is 13 years younger than my eldest I noticed similar things that my eldest displayed but also different things when she was upset she was ask for different people and when I wanted her to stop crying she would say let me stop crying and I would say that’s what I want you to do she would also have very bad panic attacks and really struggled with them at school she was struggling with her learning the school was going to do an educational assessment but it never happened, when she started secondary school she was struggling more and had a special needs teacher but she just bullied her I was told this by another special needs teacher who came to my house to tell me by the Easter I deregistered her from school and homeschooled her for 2 years, she eventually we back to a new school with only 1 year of school children she didn’t do well in her exams even though she was given a reader to help her she also did a program called toe-to-toe. She did a course at college called Xeceller8 which was taster courses and did her maths and English and passed but then didn’t want to do anything else again not getting the help I begged my doctor to have her assessed because I was told by the school she had learning disabilities, eventually had an assessment I was told she didn’t have a learning disability but learning difficulties but they said she should several autistic traits but it was up to me to either leave it or have an autism assessment which happened when she was 20 and diagnosed with autism after a four assessment and all the meltdowns when she was little made sense and some other the other things and a year after that my eldest had an autism assessment and was diagnosed with autism too after over 30 years I finally had an answer my nephew was diagnosed with Asperger’s at 19 one of my granddaughters has just been diagnosed with ADHD and is now on medication which has just been increased and also one of my grandson’s who is 3 and non verbal since a baby who rocks flaps doesn’t give much eye contact or cuddles has been diagnosed with autism, most people said it was to do with lockdown but as I was registered childminder I knew he was but it is a relief to have the diagnosis because he is at nursery and getting the support he needs he starts school next year but we all love him just the same but because he is non verbal it’s hard to know what he wants but he will pull you over to what he wants just waiting on the speech therapist appointment, sorry for the long comment Zoe but I do understand how frustrating it is waiting to get the right help and support for Joseph and not just a label because you don’t want him to struggle when he goes to school and can’t cope I hope you get answers soon x

You are doing a fab job . I used to have to tell my son how much time he had left when he was playing out xxxxx

You are doing all the right things for Joseph. You need to have that diagnosis to help him grow into his teens and adult years. Without help now and in the future, he will be a lost person. Bless you!

Hi zoe and Ben my grandsons was 4 before them before we got told you are doing best way to help Joseph lovely little boy yes he different on Austin xx

Don't doubt yourself yes it is a long process and you know your child xx it took me 18 months to get my son diagnosed and I have it to diagnosed 5 years later x

Ps I pads are a Godsend for children like Joseph, go with it! xx

What a cute little boy he is bless him, my son got diagnosed with autism when he was 4 , he's 13 now , we got lots of support from nursery etc , he isn't that bad but he goes to a secondary school with a sen department and is doing so well, he's very controlling x

people are such freaks for putting their innocent children's personal business (especially mental health related) on youtube lol what a disturbing world we live in.

My mom showed me a movie yrs ago on hbo called autism the musical its so cool

Hope they can give you some answers. 😊

I wish you luck and I pray for you I have been going through this for years when he was in school.

No its daft but do you keep bag with fidgets / tablet and bits that you can keep in car when hes having meltdown so that carry on wot you were doing

Best of luck stay strong and it's a long process but stick with it

I am a high functioning autistic myself, but I do have an aid who sees me twice a week.

Bless Joseph. He defo sounds like my son was and he was diagnosed at 6 autistic and adhd..the adhd is not easy to handle as there brain's are on overdrive all the time.

U doing well with Joseph he’s so cute ❤

Hi Zoe thank you for sharing your story Joseph is a lovely little boy. For me as a mum it was many years of knowing my daughter was autistic and no one listing teachers didn’t want to know when I asked them could they assess Izzy they just put her down to a difficult child who cried all the time so like you lost my faith in teachers as she was having melt downs due to noise and to many people. She was home schooled after two years of comp and my daughter just having complete melt down every day and like you said not fitting in the box and being bullied for being different at 18 she finally had a diagnosis and for the first time she understood why she was the way she is . Xx

Also no high functioning autism diagnosis any more it's just all classed as Autism spectrum disorder now. Xx

Even if you choose to homeschool, having that official diagnosis in your back pocket could help if he needed particular therapy or services in future. At least, that’s how it works in the US. It’s good to have a clear picture of his needs so you can help fill his toolbox with what he needs. Joseph is going to be a success no matter what because of your love and dedication. ❤

In American we l find we label our kids so fast and doctors and public schools push drugs. I know they try this with my grandson and I will as Mom three and 2 were boys He just acting like a little boy. So they fought the school with no durgs and today he smart young man with a good future yes it took him a few years to to not throw these melt downs too. So you know you child and do what you think is best for him.

Zoe try not to over think it, it will all come good, he's a gorgeous little boy, I'd go for the nursery, it's nothing your doing or have done wrong, his little brain is just wired slightly differently xx he's perfect what ever like you say he's just Joseph xxx