Parents Refused to Pay for My College, Saying I Should Be 'Independent', but Then Offered to Cover.. 

No one is acknowledging on how good OP's support group is. A loving sister who actually cares regardless of being the technically favourite child and grandparents who are willing to pay and help OP fully. While the parents may be a bit on the eviler side, at least something knocked sense in them and they actually acknowledge their stuff after some counseling and stuff. Not those intelligent narcissistic shitheads.

Parents who play favorites are the worst. I hope OP doesn't regret giving them a second chance.

Its not even the fact that they favor the sister more. It's the fact that they lied and manipulated OP, and sat back and watched OP struggle and suffer without even lifting a finger. The cruelty is why OP is pissed really

I don't like that it took the YOUNG ADULTS pointing out the issue for the parents to even REALISE there was an issue.

Reminds me of a story i rrad on Reddit. A man sits his son down and tells him now that he is 18 he needs to move out. According to the story parents in Canada recieve a stipend from the govt til the kid turns 18. He told his son that he was on his own since he's not getting the money anymore. Anyway he moves in with a friend, works his way through college and lands a good paying job and gets married and has kids. Now the father wonders why his only son won't have anything to do to with him.

The mother manipulated the whole family with BS and tears

dad needs to take accountability lol. he can’t blame his wife, he’s grown and can make his own decisions

What the parents did was profoundly stupid. When you are working, you have less time for study. The different between between a 3.5 and 3.0 GPA is huge! So many companies decide hiring on GPA alone. Refusing to invest in their son when they could have afforded it limited his career prospects and reduced his chances of graduation

Props to sis for telling him

Crazy that the only thing the parents did after was pay for a few months rent. They've gotten away with it there

I do love how parents use the “you need to grow up” line without realizing that being a “grown up” means that you can make your own decisions. Like the decision of who you do and do not associate with.

Op got emotionally blackmailed and didn't even realize it

So he had to work constantly, giving up his social life for 4 years. I mean yes I realize it's a privilege to be able to just study for 4 years while not worrying about money. But if my parents made me do that while allowing my younger sibling to take a free ride I just don't know I could forgive them.

OP's sister is a good egg. Way too often you'll see stories where other such siblings in those positions let that favoritism spoil them, so it's a relief that she's a source of his support and not a further source of his grief.

When the mom got in contact, OP should have told them "Sorry, I can't come home for the holidays, I just don't have the time, I have to make sure my work hours don't drop my grades while working enough to afford staying in school." and gone LC or even NC.

All that College money he paid, only to be given a few months of rent after graduation. Not enough to cover all of that.

Sister is the mvp in this story for me fs. Her loyalty to OP is very commendable. The grandparents are nice as well.

Op should of requested the full amount of money he had to pay for his schooling as a condition, then and only then would they know that their parents tears are not fake.

Looking forward to OP's update in 20 years: "My father died and my mom immediately disowned me"

smart sister actually expected to be treated the same way. I bet she was saving up money twice a much after seeing what happened to her brother.

"Hey, we know we screwed you up for a couple of years in your youth that you will never get back, but at least we covered your rents for a few months to make it up for it so it's alright, right?"

Wow what a conplete mess of a family The father is a complete spineless coward. Either he let his wife run him over to neglect one of their daughters or he was complicide from the start and is now throwing his wife under the bus The mother is the most calculating kind of narcistic and abusive, and I hope there is a special circle of hell reservated for her. The only reason she played emotional was because she saw that her attempt of manipulating OP where not working and making her break out of the cycle OP comes straight after her father and has exactly 0 agenda for herself. She was neglected and left behind and from minute one her only thought was "how can i make myself being okay with that kind of abuse" At the end the mother won. She had OP back under her thumb and even made her help to coax the sister to take the money. And the price was "only" OPs mental health over the years (not much worth to her) and a few hundred dollars in rent.

OP should have asked mom and dad why exactly he would come home for the holidays. They don’t value him, they’ve lied to him, and he doesn’t want to see them. What, exactly, is in it for him to go there? And the mom is absolutely only doing any repairs because she would need up divorced. He absolutely should have told his mom that he’d make sure his sister took the money because she shouldn’t put her through all the crap he went through because she and dad were awful.

Op played himself. He let himself be manipulated by his horrible parents.

Reminds me of that story where OP is the youngest of 3 and the only boy (like me on my mother's side), who discovers at 18 that his parents used most of HIS portion of the inheritance from his grandparents to help out his 2 older sisters and their children behind his back. He went NC with the whole family, built a thriving small business, dated and married wonderful woman whose family practically adopted him, and as enjoying life to the fullest. Meanwhile, his father suffered a breakdown seeing and hearing about his only son happily sharing milestones with his father-in-law instead of him on social media and gossip. The real kicker was OP confirming that it was his MOTHER'S idea to steadily siphon away his inherited money for his sisters' sakes and she was continuing to do so even aafter being exposed - there was barely 3K left in there, the last time he checked.

"I'm sorry we made you struggle for years through college, here's a few months of rent so now we're even right ?" To me, it's not enough, it's not just about the money OP had to spend on hiw own through college (and I doubt a few months of rent are the same amount of money a full college course cost so it's not like they had reimbursed OP for what he spend) but it's also the time he spent working ! that time could have been used to study a bit to have better grade and most importantly, to have a life ! by having to pay for everything and work through college, he split his time between classes, study, work and sleep and there's no time to do anything else ! their lies have made him miss a lot of opportunities and they weren't even sorry before OP threaten to go NC ...

My parents played favorites like this, and by far dumped SO much more money on my siblings. But my story never had my terrible mom even attempt an apology. It took me far too long to realize mom loathes me, and dad lacks any sort of spine. OP shoud always remember this moment. He can forgive them, but always reseve your trust so you arent blindsided by them again.

Its not spoiled to want help from your parents. I know its so easy to feel bitter about the rich kids who have mum and dad pay for everything but its only cause we all wish we had someone with money who has our back.

A couple of months rent is not equivalent to three and a half years of tuition and living expenses. There's a huge gap in the effort to make OP whole for the sacrifices they pushed him to make, and they'd better acknowledge that going forward.

Parents crying is fake.he is a fool to give them a chance.

Parents are manipulative and that will not change. Mistakes like this don't happen by accident, so they just are manipulative.

Poor dormat OP. Already being manipulated to go back.

such a doormat ... so he forgive and forget all the BS, and THANKS them because they cover a couple of month of rent( with a roomate ?????) bro they fuck you 2 years of college fee + living expense and you fine with a couple of month of rent ??? sorry doormat but yes, apologies and therapy is good, but BEFORE that they need to pay back everythink before you can even talk lol

the part in the parkour video where blocks are going backwards was hilarious

Why not pay for OPs rent for 4 yrs? Its small compared with his tuition.

It's nice that the sister is telling OP what the parents are doing and that she's not really sure how to feel about it because I'm pretty sure the sister was expecting the same conversation.

I worry that forgiving them may be s mistake, but you live and you learn. I hope they actually work out

They should pay the rent for 4 years....

This story had me in tears. This is the best I've ever heard in my life. This is so amazing.

one question I always have about these situations is... if the other siblings is so smart, why aren't they applying for scholarships?

Gods op prove the parents right about her being the stupid child, cause how can she forgive them is absolutely stupid. They literally didn't give a fck about her future and only care to do the roght thing when they where in front of their consequence

OP is better than me, I don't think I could forgive this. And to think that them paying for some months of rents for an appartment with roommates equals 2 or more years of education ? Ludicrous

It is such a nice change of pace to have an actually loving caring sibling in one of these stories. All of them seem to have a sibling who is fine conniving and screwing over their OP sibling

Bro unintentionally dissed Wendy's 💀💀💀 Also, W sister. Glad she wasn't acting entitled

Covering rent for a few months? OP got played.

The OP is too kind..... The mom is luck to have a child like that despite the BS she pulled I wouldn't be half as kind as the op was to her

finally a set of parents who didnt double down on their favoritism and are trying to make up for it!

It's so refreshing to hear when a "golden child" is able to acknowledge the unfair treatment their parents are putting onto them/their siblings. That sister is a gem

OP is definitely leaving some important information out

The good thing about these parents is they acknowledged that they messed up, and they tried to fix their mistakes.

Honestly, it's nice to see a story where the ending isn't just a broken family, Reddit often jumps to "CUT CONTACT!!" which is good in a lot of cases, but trying out therapy, growing, and learning to be better is nice to see

The poor sister having to deal with their parents

This seems like a close knit family, not the usual reddit families that hate each other. The biggest mistake the parents made (after the obvious first mistake) was blaming each other and blaming him.

I'm so glad everything turned out for you in the end and you were able to reconcile with your parents and you and your sister didn't have a big nasty falling out because of something that someone else did That's always the best thing I'm so glad you and your sister were able to remain closed through all of this and it seems like she really looks up to you and she wanted to always have your back

Make them pay back the money that you had to use to pay for college

OP should have asked mom if he and Sis had the same dad.

wtf? op is really easy to be manipulated

Good decision, do not listen to anyone who tell's you not to forgive or move on, parents are humans too and they make mistakes like anyone else, especially that they owned up to it and apologized and said they are willing to do anything for him to come back.

The whole "oh noes wife manipulated me" thing does float. Unless she is the only one making money in the family then both choose what to do with their own paycheque. if wifey is so set on paying for all of the daughters education to the exclusion of the son then let her foot that bill.

Wow what an emotional rollercoaster Proud of you for standing up for yourself and working through it all Glad things are better with your parents now Hang in there.

kinda cool how despite being the favorite, his sister is actually a good person.

Oh bull crap BOTH parents decided to do this to you don't buy the sh*t they are peddling you

It’s always the mom 🤦🏾‍♂️

you know I have a friend who went through the exact same situation as op. He was good at studying and he worked part-time jobs to pay for his college while living with his parents. When he found out that his parents are going to pay for his sister's college, he went through the same situation as op. The difference is that he never talked about this to his parents. He left the house and lived on rent for almost a year. His grades dropped as well cause he had to work extra hard on his job cause of extra expenses but when his parents finally found out where he lived they told him the truth about why they decided to pay for his sister's education and not his. Apparently, a couple days before they took this decision they got a piece of news about their family friend's daughter who unalived herself cause she was r@ped by her workplace employees. They got insanely scared that something like this might happen to their daughter so they decided to take a loan and borrow money from some of their relatives as well to pay for her college. After hearing the entire story he decided to go back home and apologized to everyone for worrying them and looking at only one side of the story.

I am glad they are getting therapy to work on their relationship. I do not understand not helping out your kids when they need you the most. While you are in college i know what he is feeling and going through when he said working a full time job and trying to go to school.

It's very nice that you're parents want to reconcile

If I recall well, the parents need to keep paying if you keep studying, then when you finish collage they don't need to pay anything anymore, atleast that's the law I have in my country 🤷‍♀️

Not gonna lie the way the story went it sounds like the Father may have been a little emotionally stunted and the Mother may have been manipulating him for way longer than he is aware of. Since they were highschool sweethearts that may have blinded him to any of the manipulation too and since OP says they were constantly fighting this may have gone way back and this is just the first time her manipulation attempts has had any big blow back. Shows a lot with how the mother was acting when she was trying to get OP to go back too that she had shown up to the place refusing to leave until he talked which is one of the main plays in their handbook since it causes you to have to get them removed forcefully or do it yourself and if done wrong opens you up for retaliation and further manipulation. When they get to Wendy's she buys him a lot of food even though he refuses to try to get him "indebted" to her so he can't just leave if he second guesses himself then after she gets denied the first time she goes for the emotional manipulation (and most likely reason shes there in the first place) by bringing up the sister and guilt tripping him by telling him she won't accept the money now either. She may not even be doing it consciencely either is the worst part and may have just done this for so long that its just become second nature to her. Hopefully things end up alright for OP and they all keep a look out for her future manipulation attempts and maybe have the therapist get them to steer away from it altogether. Well this is just the observations of someone who manipulates people for fun anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Forgive dad. Even he was a victim of mom's manipulation.

What OP needed to do was go into gruesome detail about all the stuff they had to go through because of the parents' lying.

They put money before their son, and then even played favorites. What did the two of them expect? Especially the manipulation of the mother at first speaks volumes about her

Making up with only couple of months rent? Are you kidding me? At least pay for couple of years if you want to make it up.

I mean, hear her out if you have to but then do as planned: stay with the grandparents for the holidays then try to graduate and start working ASAP. See how life feels with less baggage and only then think about reconnecting. This is the ONLY way OP will get RESPECT! Both parents NEED TO FEEL the consequences of their mistake before anything else can happen.

Making it up to OP would be to reimburse him for everything. It is not coming to him, because his sister was doing the right thing by him, and wanting his help to convince her to be better to herself than their parents were to him. It is not blaming him and calling him immature because her decisions put her into a situation where everyone hates her.

I really hope Op goes for LC and keeps going with his life.

The more I hear stories like this, the more I want to work as much as possible when both my kids are in school so that I can pay for their futures, I don't want them to suffer if I can help it. I mean obviously I want them to be hard workers on their own, but I understand that they'll need help along the way too and so I want to help them with that.

Safer to bet on!? What are they, horses?

at no point did they ever seem to think "Oh, we messed up, lets pay for whatever time he has left and reimburse him for some of the expenses he already handled!"

My takeaway here is that OP became independent a lot earlier then he would have had they paid his way. He has early experience at what it is to be a man. He is no longer attached to his parents and has a wider support system now and knows he can trust his sister. Sounds like a BOSS origin story....

Good to hear the original story without thinking if it's ai or not

It feels like? OP Gaslighted herself into forgiving her parents too damn quick.

Parents should be happy op forgiving anyone else wouldn't be the same dad new he f.. up but blamed mom for his choice ps parents had a deal of lifetime forgiveness was couple months rent compared to college tuition 😂

Simps raise simps. Break the cycle and grow a pair.

It’s really rare nowadays for parents to admit their own mistakes in front of their own children knowingly that most parents won’t do it because of their own pride, OP is lucky that he has parents that truly admit their own mistakes and try to talk it out where they can find common ground, not many parents are willing to do it out of selfish pride.

when i heard "i really love her" (his sister) the song Sweet Home Alabama starts in my head i know he loves her as a family i know

Bros clueless, a couple months? Compared to years worth of tuition 😂😂😂 that's not even close to making it up to you

honestly i am soo addicted to these type of stories and i've been watching them for about 2 months now. Listening to the story of redemption feels great when you yourself have suffered a lot. As a psychology student i must say these types of channels are unknowingly very toxic that really affect your perspective or should i say the way you handle your own situation the best way without getting influenced by revengeful idea you might get... i'm cutting down watching these videos and hope you dont end up with your whole YT homepage with reddit narrator post.

Love it how the Mother says that Op is being Heartless because he refuses to help her and the Father out with the mess SHE made, and yet she cannot see the irony in what she just said, especially since SHE wanted to chose one Child other the Other. Op really should have just said "Well Mother, I think it is time for you to be INDEPENDENT and solve the problem yourself, as this was YOUR Mistake to begin with". Also, Being Rich and Being Independent are no different. There is a Good, and a Bad side to them. For being Independent, Yes you're earning YOUR Money, but you have to work hard and sometimes struggle to earn it. for the Rich, yes that have tons of money. But that is because of their Parents, and if that person so much as makes the family look bad even once, they can be financially cut off or god forbid, get disowned. Like a Coin, there two sides. One person only sees the good while the other sees only the bad. you have to look at it from BOTH sides.

So instead of repaying him all his college tuitions, they will just pay for a couple of months' rent. What a bargain.

OP is way too forgiving.

Not gonna lie op definitely sounds like someone who has been independent and struggling. Mans is for sure more mature than most college students I’ve met.

Mom didn't apologize because she saw the error of her ways. It's likely that dad is still threatening to leave her if she doesn't make amends so now, she's trying to force it. She doesn't feel sorry for it one bit

If iam able to produce enough money to pay for college at 18 im not going go to college dawg im gonna continue that hustle💀

I’m feed up with these kind of parents!!!!! There are a lot of stories where the parents are narcissistic, preferring a child over another or abuse psychologically and physically one of the children, just for the f… of it!

As someone who got university paid for by my parents, I feel very fortunate. But what I will say, is while working your way through isn’t better than getting covered, it does beat taking on student loans like OP said “maybe I’d have done that”. That would have made life so much worse over the long run for OP

I honestly wouldn't pay everything. I would definitely how ever help them against rising expenses... It is a bit of a satisfying feeling to manage it by yourself!

Good on OP for forgiving their dad but i feel like they will soon come to regret forgiving their mom, she really manipulated all of them and only "felt bad" when the father threstened divorce

you need to stop posting stories with this kind of ending. so he worked for 2 years thru college, and they made it up to him with a few months rent, after hes found a job. what a sad dude.

She is there after father asked for divorce still not giving financial support. She did not come and apologize when op was having hard time making money and studies.

To all the parental excuse and finance debate. I’d say maybe financially they got away with it, but I doubt he’ll ever see them as the same. Watch him get married without them being there or not trusting them with his kids. They’ll question why but he’ll never forget how their actions said that they didn’t value him. That leaves a permanent mark. I know I wouldn’t trust them with my children if I was in OP’s shoes.