Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video]

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Pre-order "Cacophony" out 30th August:
parispaloma.ffm.to/cacophony
Follow Paris Paloma:
Instagram: / parispaloma
TikTok: / parispalomaofficial
Lyrics (click/tap CC to see subtitles):
Why are you hanging on
So tight
To the rope that I’m hanging from
Off this island
This was an escape plan
Carefully timed it
So let me go
And dive into the waves below
Who tends the orchards?
Who fixes up the gables
Emotional torture
From the head of your high table
Who fetches the water
From the rocky mountain spring
And walk back down again
To feel your words and their sharp sting
And I’m getting fucking tired
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
And the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
Apologies from my tongue
Never yours
Busy lapping from flowing cup
And stabbing with your fork
I know you’re a smart man
And weaponise
The false incompetence
It’s dominance under guise
If we had a daughter
I’d watch and could not save her
The emotional torture
From the head of your high table
She’d do what you taught her
She’d meet the same cruel fate
So now I’ve gotta run
So I can undo this mistake
At least I’ve gotta try
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
And the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph then virgin, nurse then a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24/7 baby machine
So he can live out his picket fence dreams
It’s not an act of love if you make her
You make me do too much labour
Credits:
Director: Adam Othman
Producer: Giulia Lopes
Director of Photography: Theo Brinch
1st AC: Rafal Rakoczy
Gaffer: Will Jessel
BTS: Jamal Thomas
Art Director: Paris Paloma
Art Assistant: Morgan Bull
Actors
Paris Paloma
Henry Hayward
#parispaloma

Опубликовано:

22 мар 2023

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Комментарии : 12 тыс.

@fozzyspots Год назад

this truly is a love letter to all the hundreds of millions of women who have lived and died, nameless and faceless and unappreciated, terrified and violated and unfulfilled, lonely and clever and murdered. we see you. we're sorry.

@manifest2203 Год назад

Well said 👏👏

@CityKanin Год назад

Louder for the back row!

@rollins5865 Год назад

😢

@nekonions Год назад

This made me tear up

@Nandemonaiya00 Год назад

LOUDER for those in the back 🎉

@ahe1009 Год назад

this is absolutely a love letter to women throughout history. as historian rosalind miles points out: part of the reason men were at the forefront of so much innovation throughout history isn’t just because of lack of education for women, but because they were free to do more with their time as women were carrying most domestic and emotional labour in the home.

@aspannas Год назад

So true. Do not forget that men stole work from women constantly throughout time and wives to "great" men stood in their shadow, just look up Mileva Einstein-Maric who was married to Albert Einstein. Any woman who managed to make a name for themselves had to work 10 times as hard as any man.

@HelgaMoro Год назад

Women worked the fields too. And held other kinds of low paying jobs. In addition to all the domestic labor. And yes, no education and weren't allowed to be members of scientific clubs or political organizations. Were humiliated for even speaking up in the presence of men. And then men say "but we created everything". Bruh. If yall's egos weren't so fragile and you didn't hold women back, humanity would already be happily living all over the solar system.

@ashleyunderwood8558 Год назад

EXACTLY! THANK YOU!

@michelletierney3319 Год назад

Who cooked Adam smiths dinner 📖

@ailimarie Год назад

@@michelletierney3319 His mom. he wrote his book while living in his mom's house

@avadakedevra2895 4 месяца назад

In india, there is this tradition of the wife/mother in the family eating last, they are not allowed to sit with the family and eat together. Instead they are often left with the leftovers of their own cooking while the men and children are served first and take away most of the food without consideration for the mother. I am lucky to be born in a progressive family where this tradition has long since been abandoned. But it still persists in many many families, regardless of economic class.

@gisellmuniz7321 4 месяца назад

I am from the north of Mexico Chihuahua, The traditional woman need to be serving the family food into the men and the children finish there food. making hot tortillas in the process. when you are like 8 years old you start helping the mother too. it is so interest see how cultures can be similar in view and traditions, I love India food !!!

@avadakedevra2895 4 месяца назад

There are so many similarities in mexican and indian culture in general life as well! Its truly astounding. We dont have any common history, our countries located on two sides of the world, opposite to each other meridian wise, and yet!! Lots of love to mexico from india!! ❤@@gisellmuniz7321

@RachelDeRosier010894 4 месяца назад

If I'm the one cooking the food, no one should be allowed to eat until I sit at the other head of the table. Periodt.

@avadakedevra2895 4 месяца назад

@@RachelDeRosier010894 exactly how it should be.

@charlottaberg6934 3 месяца назад

😢❤

@dreaming_hearts 5 месяцев назад

The fact that the pomegranate is the symbol of Persephone is symbolic. The way she rips it apart. She was trapped in this marriage and now she's destroying it. Edit: 3.9k likes? Are you kidding me? Thanks!

@SnazzyArcade 5 месяцев назад

Pomegranates were also the "forbidden fruit" in the garden of eden, not apples.

@not-so-obvious_autism777 5 месяцев назад

@@SnazzyArcade Oh dang really?! Cool!

@SnazzyArcade 5 месяцев назад

@@not-so-obvious_autism777 Yeah pomegranates are indigenous to the middle east, while apples are from central/east asia.

@AmberSpellcraft 4 месяца назад

Hades also loves Pomegranate thats is go to fruit with him.

@AmberSpellcraft 4 месяца назад

@@SnazzyArcade No one really knows that cause that story isn't straight forward with that.

@jennifervan75 Год назад

"So he never lifts a finger" has 3 meanings. 1.That he never does any work. 2.That he won't abuse her. 3.That he won't acuse her. (Pointing)

@4leftclovers Год назад

This is my favourite line from the song actually.

@saoirsejb Год назад

Astute. Yes.

@rebekahrutledge1633 Год назад

That is an amazing insight! Love it❤

@whatever4350 Год назад

Abuse sounds more logical

@jennifervan75 Год назад

@@whatever4350 all 3 ways can be interpreted

@aubryellaotero1064 Год назад

The part about having a daughter and being afraid that she’ll meet the same fate is a true terror that keeps me up at night

@namtellectjoonal7230 Год назад

yup....one of the reasons I don't want children I don't wanna bring a child into this ugly world that will treat them unjustly and then turn around and blame them for not being able to keep up

@maca6630 Год назад

I understand you. I have three daughters and I raise them so that they know how to claim their place in the world, but I will always want to raise a boy in feminism. They need to know that they're born with a privilege we don't have.

@anonaweaver9741 Год назад

Couldn’t imagine because I was the oldest of 3 girls. Then had 2 boys. Stopped before we did have a girl

@desireeluciano Год назад

I totally understand

@aubryellaotero1064 Год назад

The sad part is I have a wonderfully fantastic and amazing man who takes care of me now but…. It took so long. Just to find someone who truly respects me. Been through so much abuse at the hands of men to get me to this point that I really don’t see any woman being able to completely escape the violence her whole life.

@vaevictis3905 6 месяцев назад

Maybe It's strange, but as a man I can relate with this song. Actualy its my favorite. Always reminds me to my mother, who raised me alone, and my father who left us for a new family. My mother is a fucking hero. Mom! This song for you. 🥰

@user-lz8gu1iw8b 5 месяцев назад

😊❤I also dedicated it to my mother

@solala1312 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad you are thankful for your mother's sacrifices and that she was a supportive parents to you. I met many men unfortunately who resented their single mothers because of the lack of male role model. not all parents are perfect but I think single mothers have it way harder than single fathers.

@SaritaSingh-dx8lv 4 месяца назад

❤ yes to loving and strong mothers

@todiewasanart9037 4 месяца назад

You are a wonderful person 💞💞

@hadsdupe 4 месяца назад

❤

@l33ki-atsuki83 6 месяцев назад

I like it when he laughs at first when she crams the pomegranate in her mouth, before losing his smile immediately when he realizes she's serious. 'Humor my silly wife, let her have fun, while she tries to make something of herself, but the second she actually starts to slips from my control...'

@tomydismay 6 месяцев назад

Yessss that's one of my favorite scenes. He captures so much verbal aggression there without saying a word, including an earlier scene where he's eating while staring her down as if to challenge her to say something, to "forget her place" so he can remind her of it... and then she tears into that pomegranate indicating "challenge accepted". It's both astonishing and alarming how well Henry Hayward captured this type of toxic behavior from his subtle expressions to his overt disdain towards her resentment and ultimate rejection of the roles she's been fulfilling for him. Enough is enough.

@DK-gc8od Год назад

Can we just talk about how clever the line, “Nymph then a virgin” is like it just ties in the impossible standards that men have for women so perfectly. They are expected to have the bedroom experience of a nymph and be sexually arousing or seductive without ever actually having had sex before so they can still fulfil their sick fantasies of an untried virgin. Like, its all just so frustrating and impossible

@antidote351 Год назад

Really on point. Nothing really has changed since medieval times, but now we got also entitled polygamists and pornculture and many pick me's enabling this depravity, saying it'd be empowering..

@LovesGaming37 Год назад

Males want virgins but then pressure women to ha e sex with them and when the woman does, she's called easy and a slut. We women can't ever win. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't

@bmoe4609 Год назад

Yup

@bmoe4609 Год назад

@@antidote351 nothing wrong with porn n im a woman. U gotta find the ones geared for us women on our pleasure

@empress.bijira Год назад

@Radfem Tahlia i certainly hope when you mean all misogyny you mean *all* misogyny, which includes the misogyny that targets our trans sisters

@sinbingaming4419 Год назад

I don't know if it was an intentional artistic choice or just how it sounded best to her, but the fact she doesn't necessarily get loud throughout the song is interesting to me. You can hear the anger in her voice, yeah, but she doesn't YELL like I've seen some people want her to. The background voices get louder/cry out at one point, but the singer herself keeps her voice relatively level. Makes me think about how women's anger is meant to be quiet. Palatable. If a woman acts out or yells in anger, she's seen as hysterical, crazy, and over-reactive. She's supposed to keep it to herself, or at least keep it quiet enough that people can ignore it or brush it off. Even when she's digging into the food with her hands, she's still covering her mouth at times before seemingly not caring anymore. Her anger is controlled. She gets FIRM, but not loud, and I find I actually like that better than the idea of her going on a yelling rampage.

@anneascott Год назад

wow, I didn't realize that. you are absolutely right, perfect explanation. thanks for this comment.

@LordOfTheUnderworld Год назад

Its like a post i read once going something like this: Its between a human and a werewolf Human: "How can you not be angry?" Werewolf: "I am angry," the werewolf said. "But unlike you, I dont have the luxury of showing it without being called a monster. Without someone taking it as a sign of proof that i needed to be put down like a rabid dog" H: "But everyone gets angry... Thats human." W: "Up until the point when you're not human" Its an amazing metaphor for anyone that is othered by society. When a woman is angry, shes called intolerant. When a dog bites, its called rabid. No one asks why the woman was angry, or why the dog bit. Even though they had all the right to be angry, no one cares.

@Coffee-ve8ub Год назад

I was thinking of that too how women are expected to stay quieter even when angry or were called sensitive or hysterical. It also made me think of how when people suffer from things like what she talks about in her song and many other things that can cause exhaustion and depression a person can feel something like anger but be too exhausted to really express it or not be able to show it, and to me it sort of sounded like that too with the one tone of voice she uses through the song never changing volume

@chesirecat1000 Год назад

She goes against what is a common portrayal of female rage: a quiet, seething rage that is even more frightening than the loud one. Because when a woman is quiet, you know that she doesn’t have any ounce of care in her body anymore. Quiet women are the scariest, imo.

@hillmidget1326 Год назад

Beautiful take on it

@lemonlooop5262 4 месяца назад

After having our first child, always having to cook, clean, take care of the baby, expected to get up through every night and the morning, and not having time to properly take care of myself, I was hanging on by a thread thinking that I was supposed to do all of this.. all the while my husband sleeps in, goes golfing every Saturday (all day), barely helped after he got home from work and complained every time I asked for more help. THIS SONG got me angry in the best way. I put my foot down. This song is so powerful. Every time I listen to it I get chills

@schuylergeery-zink1923 3 месяца назад

My sister’s boyfriend leaves to go out of state for car racing and I ask her… do you ever have a few HOURS (not even days) to yourself without your toddler? No. I’m open to having kids, but I’m making it clear with my husband he must be 100% co-parenting. The golfing all day Saturday thing NO. I believe my husband will do well tho bc he took the lead on my cat’s hospice care at 20 years old. He took very good care of her even when it was challenging.

@J_Turi 2 месяца назад

Oh heck no, good on you for putting your foot down!!

@dubaiedge Месяц назад

Read the new book out & made the nyt bestseller list: "This American Ex-Wife." She had to divorce her husband to get him to take responsibility at last. Good luck to you. You DO deserve to live your best life on YOUR own terms for what you'll do with your life, time, energy 💓

@emilyb.8219 Месяц назад

@@dubaiedge yes I wanted to recommend that book too! lots of women in the comments might find it useful/relatable

@lulick9 Месяц назад

It’s been horrible for me after having my first child. what the society in general and my husband in particular had prepared for me I had no idea. For some reason I was responsible for EVERYTHING related to my child, the house, the family economy, and a long etc. I feel betrayed because I went into it thinking that it was going to be 50/50. What a lie! What a trap!

@a.s.h.a118 7 месяцев назад

I watched my mother lose decades of her life to this dynamic, after she got divorced she's like a completely different person for the better. I'll never fall into the same trap.

@a.s.h.a118 7 месяцев назад

@@CherishedFox-mc9hs I hope she makes the right choice for herself as well. my dad has a new wife and while I don't have contact with her anymore (she's a whole different issue) I watched her seriously decline in physical and mental health after just 2 years of being married to him. These toxic marriages are serious life shorteners

@ThePinkBarbieStore 2 месяца назад

For me, It is the opposite, The moment my Dad lifted his finger, She left and she never looked back. She defied societal standards and has been single my whole lifetime, I learnt from her true commitment lies not in conformity. I am so proud of her❤

@AClassyGuy 9 дней назад

I'm chuffed that she made it out. So many don't, but I am so glad she did. Happy Late Mother's Day to your mum!

@brandiswingley521 Год назад

I burst a capillary in my eye giving birth to my first daughter 12 years ago, and then pumped milk for her in a supply closet while she was under the lights for jaundice. It was so painful I bled, while her father told me my eye disgusted him and mooed at me for feeding her. When I made him food he didn't like, he'd spit it out into my hand. I'll probably never pay off the loans I took out to help support us both. It's been a decade, but the rage this song stirred in me is overwhelming.

@justasadgirl Год назад

I am so sorry you had go trough that

@brandiswingley521 Год назад

@@justasadgirl I'm okay! I made it through, and all that life gave me and took from him almost makes me believe in a benevolent god lol. Everything he was ever proud of is gone and he's alone. I married the love of my life and couldn't physically be happier. Women can survive and grow in the worst conditions. ♥️

@sthecoolbro4357 Год назад

you are so incredibly strong, your daughter will grow with an amazing roll model

@brandiswingley521 Год назад

@@sthecoolbro4357 thanks friend ♥️

@eltheducc5576 Год назад

this is a heartbreaking story, I’m so glad you made it out. Some women have never escaped this type of situation and it breaks my heart. I’m so glad you’re doing better ❤

@luxluther436 Год назад

“So he never lifts a finger” can have two meanings. One, he never does work. Two, so he doesn’t hit.

@glengamble526 Год назад

No, here it seems to have only one meaning, in context of the song-it’s called ‘labour’ and he ‘never lifts a finger’ to help. Period.

@glengamble526 Год назад

@@AutumnRose.. nope. Words have meaning. And context.

@yashny Год назад

The first one for sure

@queenofbooks9526 Год назад

or three, so he never points a finger and accuses, aka emotional labour

@namtellectjoonal7230 Год назад

I didn't make that connection before I read your comment, thank you for the insight

@honeychild8525 7 месяцев назад

The "For somebody I thought was my saviour" rings very true to me - a lot of troubled young women think they have found someone to save them but in fact its just another abuser.

@wompusslompus5424 5 месяцев назад

This is what I'm paranoid about. Who's to say the next partner isn't the same? Are we running from one prison into the cage of another? What if we don't really know who they are until it's too late?

@ravenvalentine9823 5 месяцев назад

@@wompusslompus5424I just left a physically abusive relationship and this exact thought crossed my mind. I guess the best choice is to never let anyone put us there in the first place. Never give someone an inch. It hurts, for ourselves and for the people we meet moving forward but walls are required for a stable building. Always have a go bag, never have a combined bank account, pick up a hobby around self defense or a weapon, (archery, HEMA, etc.) and live like minimalist. Makes packing much easier to leave.

@elysses 3 месяца назад

@@wompusslompus5424I was abused as age 15 by my adult neighbor who was 35, I escaped at 18 only to get wrapped up another abusive relationship when I was 19. I left him at age 21 and a year later I met my current boyfriend. I can just tell he wouldn’t lay a finger on me. You can tell by their actions, if they are rude or mean to other people, then they will be to you eventually. If they are aggressive towards others often, they will be aggressive to you. My current boyfriend insulted me once during a fight, he saw how much that hurt me and never did it again. A good person will know right from wrong and choose right, while someone with deep issues will choose the wrong choice often. I guess what I’m saying is, you get this gut feeling, especially if you’ve been in a bad relationship before. If you haven’t, still listen to your gut, if they make you feel bad, worthless or even not good enough, they will continue to do that because they are a broken person, you are not the issue, they are. If your boyfriend hurts your feelings or makes your uncomfortable, be VOCAL about how he made you feel, if he is a good healthy minded person he won’t do it again, if he fights or continues to do it, he will never change and it’ll only get worse

@Arun71150 3 месяца назад

‼️‼️

@prettytopia 2 дня назад

@@wompusslompus5424I've never even been in a relationship and I'm so scared cuz what if he's abusive 😭

@jodirook71 4 месяца назад

A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done.

@Bell_plejdo568p 2 месяца назад

How is it never done?

@wasifabul2545 2 месяца назад

@@Bell_plejdo568p basically they mean to say that motherhood and taking care of the house is work that is never truly complete

@prettytopia 2 дня назад

@@Bell_plejdo568phis work ends when he leaves the office. The woman comes back from the office and does chores, otherwise she's called a gold digger.

@lionkingflo6355 День назад

@prettytopia thats why both should do the work and help each other

@prettytopia День назад

@@lionkingflo6355 in most families the man doesn't help and the woman doesn't have it in her heart to let her kids suffer in muck, hence she does all the housework.

@karanhdream Год назад

The pomegranate symbolism is powerful. This fruit represent fertility, marriage and desire but it can also represent death and feminine independence.

@ashleyspeirs1100 Год назад

Yes! I see it as her eating her own six seeds. She’s committing to herself which is how she can disappear. She’s committed to her world. English teachers are gonna have a time with this! Haha

@Letstalkforever 11 месяцев назад

@@ashleyspeirs1100oh for sure. " what is the symbolism behind the fruit? How was used it and what can you tell the artist is trying to convey. Write your response in 700-1000 words paper. Must use citations, MLA or APA 7th only." 😂

@amvperson 10 месяцев назад

I think it’s also a representation of Persephone and Hades, the Greek story. Persephone was forced to go down to the underworld. She was kidnapped by Hades. She performed a hunger strike to protest the kidnapping, but she found some pomegranate seeds and she was so hungry she ate them - In the video, Paris is very hungry and eats them quickly. That’s how Persephone ate the pomegranate seeds - and she ate about 4 to 6 so I think it’s a representation of being unknowingly forced to be there. It’s like your stuck in “Hades” (The Greek name for Hell). I also love the line: “It’s not an act of love, if you make her.” I think people often overlook the fact that you can be raped by your partner (gender neutral on purpose). In the song “Leave Luanne”, Luanne - a married woman - gets raped by her husband. Being married doesn’t mean that all s3x with your partner is 100 percent consensual.

@izziemoss8262 10 месяцев назад

Also thought to actually be the forbidden fruit from 'the garden of eden' instead of the apple.

@phoney2627 10 месяцев назад

@@amvpersonThere's another version of the Persephone and Hades story where Hades literally forces the seeds down her throat which would fit the theme of this song better imo. Also you left out the part that in greek mythology if you eat anything in the underworld it means you have to stay there, so that was why she had to be there for the half of every year even after being saved.

@samevans1289 Год назад

"It's not an act of love if you make her." Sex, pregnancy, being a stay-at-home parent, housework, being submissive, and so much more that can apply for that lyric - things and acts that come naturally to many people and/or are done willingly by many and can result from love, that turn into a freaking nightmare when it's imposed on people.

@lesbihonestart9888 Год назад

"People". There's only one type of person this is imposed on. It's women.

@LilFrg Год назад

It can also apply to forcing a woman to have a career when she wants to be a stay at home mom. Forcing a woman to do anything, but don’t down play societies new hatred of stay at home mothers 🙄

@samevans1289 Год назад

@@LilFrg Don't turn my comment into a debate by making a skewed and straight-up intentionally wrong reading of the lyric. "It's not an act of love if you make her" - where is the act of love (and towards whom?) in a woman choosing her career as opposed to becoming a homemaker? That's the whole premise of my comment - that doing all those things can be acts of love IF they are not imposed to begin with. I think I was quite clear in my comment.

@lesbihonestart9888 Год назад

@@LilFrg domestic labour by women is supremely undervalued for sure. The desire to stay at home with little education and pop out kids doesn't exist in a vacuum tho. You gotta look at how many of these women are raised with strict, traditional misogynistic values that tie their worth to reproduction, how much their education has been limited, and also just the world around them that actually does value women staying in the home at large. Some feminists critiquing the pitfalls of being a stay at home mother - aka the lack of finacial independence should their husband leave/die/get sick/abuse them and also the detriment to little girls being raised with the same misogynistic expectations to follow their mother, as well as the damage to the environment of popping out a bunch of kids, doesn't mean stay at home mothers are societally hated. Look at home many countries in the world do not allow women comprehensive control of when/if they get pregnant. How many deny access to employment or full independence without marriage to a man. How many allow child bride marriage (this includes the USA btw). Society doesn't hate stay at home mums. It hates WOMEN. Whatever role we occupy is unequal and unfair because of this.

@iamsatan8961 Год назад

@@LilFrg did they say it couldn't? Oh wait.. They didn't you're just creating an argument because you're bored

@Kwa_OwenZ 7 месяцев назад

“So he never lifts a finger” as an African woman I need that line a bit louder sis

@everythingisvision 6 месяцев назад

I’m not a woman. But dear god, I have the utmost and unending respect for all the women that had to suffer through situations such as this. It’s insane what women have had to go through, and I’d be an idiot if I didn’t recognize that. Women deserve respect and you’re either willfully ignorant or immature if you disagree. I am so grateful for all of the women in my family, alive or not, for all of the work and effort they put into the family.

@pinklov4447 4 месяца назад

thank u

@nse712 4 месяца назад

You are a rarity. Please pass on your mindset to other men! And maybe mentor some boys too. Many of the men who are like the ones this song is talking about only listen to other men, so we women need men like you to help take a stand with us.

@Seraphina93 4 месяца назад

You can help them by not looking away from male friends and family who hurt and abuse us xxx

@amandahamilton1444 Месяц назад

Thank you ❤

@lolneo8766 Месяц назад

Bro you should be a philosopher! I agree though.

@soullessnstereo 11 месяцев назад

The fact the marriage candle beside him has NEVER been lit and her's has burnt down. Every little detail is feminine perfection.

@bubbleslotp2561 9 месяцев назад

What's a marriage candle? I missed the symbolism on that one

@gessicakaylanedasilva6932 9 месяцев назад

@@bubbleslotp2561 i think it represents love, he never really loved her, and with time and abuse her love dies/fades.

@bubbleslotp2561 9 месяцев назад

@@gessicakaylanedasilva6932 ah, that makes sense

@Cryoniiic 9 месяцев назад

God I didn’t even notice that

@solar0wind 9 месяцев назад

Are marriage candles a part of a certain culture? I don't think we have/had them in German culture, but maybe I'm just too uneducated😅

@airheadmikito559 Год назад

What struck me about this song is that EVERY woman knows of another woman being treated like this or has gone through it herself. No sister is untouched. And there's a deep, deep fury about that. Even if not personally, throughout history, women know.

@ElizabethUkeh Год назад

Tbh, I don't know a woman who hasn't been through some kind of deep trauma with men. Hating men is pretty easy

@salaahkhayr2398 Год назад

Treated like what exactly? Doing housechores while the men provide and pay for you? Lol.

@user-ed7et3pb4o Год назад

@@salaahkhayr2398 the more of your comments I read, the more I believe that your IQ is double digits. I feel sorry for your poor mother.

@sloanethefullygrown5086 Год назад

@@salaahkhayr2398doing a majority of the housechores while also working a full time job and doing a majority of the childcare and emotional labor that comes with having children. Being exhausted from waking up in the middle of the night to feed a child two people created and being told they're being bitchy that following evening. Being expected to cook after coming home from a full shift of work and maid. And being told to be grateful because the man in the relationship brings home money.

@chloecampbell9821 Год назад

@@salaahkhayr2398 this me bad vibes 🙄 *edit* Your comment gave me bad vibes 🙄

@bridgetmadden5716 7 месяцев назад

"Someone who I thought was my saviour." So many young girls would marry to get away from their parents, only to realise it was out of the frying pan and into the fire...

@SlightlyDisturbed123 4 месяца назад

"It's not an act of love if you make her." Fucking hits home.

@tanyadarling6892 Год назад

I love that we don't see her face at the start, like how many women have lived and continue to live as faceless, nameless entities, whose work is never acknowledged as theirs - I love this song for so beautifully expressing both power and grief

@angytingz Год назад

i was thinking this too!!

@moonshine7374 Год назад

We don't see the guy's face either, are you psycho?

@silveralpha3630 Год назад

Idk why this reminded me of Rosalind Franklin...

@patternrecon5271 Год назад

Loxist subversion Kalergi plan Minimum replacement birth rate: 2.1 Israel birth rate: 3.00 EU birth rate: 1.53 Canada birth rate: 1.47 USA birth rate: 1.70 Australia birth rate: 1.66 Russia birth rate: 1.50 Ukraine birth rate: 1.23 Moldova: 1.28 Belarus: 1.38 Serbia: 1.48 Bulgaria: 1.56 Romania: 1.60 Albania: 1.58

@Eclipsiscv Год назад

It reminds me of a line from “Whatever you want” by Vienna Teng - “she’s just a dress wearing a face in the doorway.”

@nikolettperedi560 Год назад

The feeling I get from this song is so ancient and so deep, I feel like all the rage from thousands of years of oppression to the women of all history is united into this song and it's incredibly powerful

@jade3855 Год назад

This comment!! I don’t personally relate but I’m sitting here soaked in tears from just thousands of years of female rage. 💔❤️

@missnikkiparker3112 Год назад

@@jade3855 Truly same.

@julianamae7239 Год назад

exactly what I felt too, well put

@aleksandra... Год назад

Me too, I'm actually in opposite situation as my husband is doing most of the the labor (except emotional) as I'm chronically ill and unemployed. (and we had ~equal share before I started having health issues) But historical and contemporary examples are so heartbreaking, PLUS, all the future daughters (and sons) that are internalizing that as normal, I'm envisioning and this song is bringing all the emotions up... 😢

@husky7281 Год назад

@@spoonky7243 girls, this dum dumb dude is trying to make a scene in the comments, dont give him attention.

@rlorendean 5 месяцев назад

I am literally scared to go to your next song. 5 days, I heard you 5 days ago, I have engaged in 4 arguments with males in my family, warned my 3 unmarried young adult sons living with me that I am no longer silent. They are going to learn that patriarchal characteristics that are no longer allowed in this house and how their future spouses, male or female, will not be living with the weaponized incompetence I have been subjected to. My husband is now has been forced to listen to the song and hear the parallels of how it has trickled down to now. In my household, (at least) things are going to change or get nasty. I'm 61. Never to late to teach a lesson. Ms. Paloma, you have changed people. I just needed someone to shove it in my face. May I suggest updated lyrics more modern, hitting home to a new generation with the same hypnotic melody?. All I know is every time I see someone in the massage chair watching football while I clean, they should feel very, very uneasy. In your next song, I am wary. What ghosts are you going to resurrect that need to be addressed? I am almost giddy with the possible power.

@Userinterfaceexperience 5 месяцев назад

Exactly ❤

@jrmetmoi 5 месяцев назад

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@rubinfeuerherz3799 4 месяца назад

bless u❤

@pinklov4447 4 месяца назад

beautifully written. i am so sorry ur going through this.

@Promance2300 4 месяца назад

If you have three unmarried adult sons living with you who don't know how to do the basics to take care of themselves well... It was probably you who failed them right along with your husband - who you picked.

@lejlanuhanovic5700 6 месяцев назад

This song is the epitome of female rage. I had a marriage that was identical to this song. It feels amazing to be validated. I feel so related to so many women from all over the world just because of this song. Sending my love to all the girls and women in the comments. You are amazing and you deserve better! Don't let the men convince you otherwise!

@rosasuarez1 2 месяца назад

❤❤❤👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@ipsitaonearth5132 Месяц назад

Thank you. As a young girl, I always welcome advice from older women

@dubaiedge Месяц назад

💓

@AnantyaV 11 месяцев назад

My grandma gave birth to 17 children, 10 survived WWII, she did all the work, was a wonderful chef, seperated from her husband, an abusive alcoholic who was busy with a prostitute literally whilst she was in labour giving birth. She was shunned by her society, called a whore because she left her husband. This, grandma, is for you ❤

@slavicpower7709 11 месяцев назад

Props to your grandma. Praise her strength.

@PicassosCat 11 месяцев назад

It's crazy that you bear 17 children of a man and gets called a whore for leaving.. Times really changed huh? We may have our problems but I think we should give ourselves a little bit of credit for how far we've gone.

@davidmusic5883 10 месяцев назад

u didnt write this song

@fave525 10 месяцев назад

and yet the society acts like it's women chasing marriage and men running away from it as if it's not men who benefit from it the most

@user-lc2rn5wt4c 10 месяцев назад

@@davidmusic5883Duh

@shreyachoudhary3378 Год назад

In my culture, traditionally men are the ones who eat first even though the women in the family are the ones who slaved away at the kitchen to prepare the food for everyone. The way that she has to wait for the guy to eat first reminds me of that. It is also symbolic of how even though women are the ones working so hard, the fruits of labor like say, opportunities are grabbed by men first while women always have barriers stopping them. Women always get the left over. Such a powerful depiction.

@shreyachoudhary3378 Год назад

@@jooniesbonsai4064 i'm not from India but I understand what you mean

@sarcasticallyrearranged Год назад

Men haven’t been out hunting for a very long time and don’t need to be served first for any reason unless their arms are broken!

@axolotlisopod Год назад

Which country are you from?

@cloydxx Год назад

What culture is that

@liliesandroses6323 Год назад

In my country there is a saying that the cooker would eat the smoke( the one it's produced during the cooking process). Generally in the past that was the rule first person that was eating was a husband, then children and last things that were left were left for mother

@samaraschachter3612 6 месяцев назад

Here in Brazil, there is a general test, like an entrance exam, to enter any university. The writing is what weighs the most, and this year it was: 'the invisibility of the care work carried out by women', and I mentioned this song.

@xmanu_ 3 месяца назад

Wow 👏👏 I was glad when I heard this was theme, it’s a topic that needs to be discussed in our country.

@Forooook 3 месяца назад

For ENEM I mentioned the film "Que horas ela volta?" which tells the story of a mother who needs to work as a maid to give her daughter a dignified life. I recommend watching.

@Rye_Toast 2 месяца назад

I bet you nailed it, I hope you go on to great things and lead your life by your own terms.

@itsmejulia1 5 месяцев назад

Growing up I hated my mother, because she was always one small mistake away from a full-on rage she'd let out on me. Nowadays I start to understand why things were this way. She worked full-time, she took care of me, she cleaned the house every weekend and she cooked a warm meal for us every day. She was working 24/7 , of course she'd feel frustrated. And when my dad would come home from work, his work would be done for the day. I know my dad, and I know that if she'd asked for help he'd have refused. I understand her a bit better now, even though none of that excuses letting your frustration out on the child. My fiancé and I know better now not to let things get this way.

@emiliakaakyo 2 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing your experience for making the invisible toll on children visible and for looking back with empathy and compassion. Your mom was constantly in survive mode and when in survive mode you are always one wave short of a shipwreck.

@oliviasonell960 Год назад

I love how this isn't about a physically abusive relationship but about how the labour demanded of women by patriarchs kills us.

@hassanalkhalaf1115 Год назад

And men don't do labour at all? They're all day up to work and get you the money for your house. Both do equal work yet men don't complain about it. Unless there isn't a physical abusive relationship no need to cry

@hassanalkhalaf1115 Год назад

@@tiana3416 okay how about you calm down a little bit? I'm pro feminism, which is why I enjoyed this song and the message. It's just so lazy and privileged to cry about having to do housework regardless of gender. I call men out who expect their wife to do everything as well. It's just normal once you set up who's going to be the stay at home parent that it's expected from this person to do labour at home while their partner does labour outside. Also cut me that reversed "men don't cry" bullshit

@user-ed7et3pb4o Год назад

@@hassanalkhalaf1115 it’s not equal work. There are many, many studies on how it’s not equal work. If it was equal work, it wouldn’t be so common to have men sitting enjoying themselves at every family gathering while the women are slaving in the kitchen. If it was equal work, my mother wouldn’t have to spend her whole Ramadan cooking while fasting to serve the iftar that the men expect, while they waltz in at the last minute after a whole day of doing nothing just to devour the fruits of a whole day’s labour in mere minutes without so much as a thank you. When you say things like that, you are disrespecting your mother.

@teaganpoppy Год назад

@@hassanalkhalaf1115 Notice how no one agrees with you? Embarrassing.

@northernroyal814 Год назад

@@hassanalkhalaf1115 awww sounds like you’ve never experienced what a woman goes thru 😂

@yashny Год назад

Let's raise our children differently so our daughters don't have to go through this

@yl508 Год назад

Sons too, so that they don't feel entitled to such servitude and get used to being treated like little babies by their wives who are not their maids

@yashny Год назад

@@yl508 yes definitely.. I think if we raise children of both genders with domestic skills then neither will feel entitled to be taken care of especially boys

@yl508 Год назад

@@yashny as a mom of a baby boy, I couldn't agree more. I'll definitely show my son how to cook and do chores

@yashny Год назад

@@yl508 I'm so glad to hear that from a mother! Your son will grow up to be a wonderful man. I wish you well :)

@yl508 Год назад

@@yashny thank you, I wish you well too ✨️

@Plathologist 4 месяца назад

I think it is also significant how the term labour can also refer to how women have been looked at from a "child bearing machine" perspective. Specially the fact that the song not only talks about how there is a "silence in the bed chamber" but also how "its not an act of love of you make her" referring to sex without consent or warmth of emotional intimacy. Marital rape has always been trivialised and sadly it's no different even now.

@selma7452 3 месяца назад

That’s a great interpretation, I didn’t think of that!

@MiseryLvst_08 6 месяцев назад

"24/7 Baby Machine" Hits hard for me. I have never really been fond of the idea of having children, due to mental disorders and health issues the thought of having kids is put to the bottom of my list. I understand that I am only 15 but since the age of 11 my mother has talked about my motherhood, and how I had "perfect baby carrying hips." She would always compare to it as well, "Just wait till you have kids and you have to cook every night" or "At least you aren't raisining six kids." I was 11 mom, I shouldn't know what that is like. I have been raising my siblings since i was 7. I have more mother instincts than she does. I'm so happy that my grandparents haven't put the same pressure everyone else has on me. Thank you, God, for my amazing grandparents!

@chanutamari2120 6 месяцев назад

I still can't believe in the 21st century, people still believe in this shit. Dw. U will get out of that toxic household and ur toxic mom.❤❤

@The_Great_Lionheart_2000 3 месяца назад

I'm 23 and don't want children. I also have 2 handicaps

@MiseryLvst_08 3 месяца назад

@@The_Great_Lionheart_2000 I’m so sorry that’s happened to you.

@simsgirlgem 2 месяца назад

I also have mental and physical health problems combined with trauma as a child I don’t want to subject a child to that hence why I’m fine being fun aunt

@ipsitaonearth5132 Месяц назад

❤️ even having a few people supporting you can make a difference. Them believing in you more than you believe in yourself, that's a blessing. Let's focus on the positive 🤍

@audreydahlman4473 Год назад

I absolutely love the symbolism in her choosing to eat a pomegranate. Pomegranates are used in so many ways in different religions and myths, but in every single one it is a symbol of womanhood, rebirth, or something of the sort. It’s such a powerful choice to use that as she eats in rebellion.

@PILOSOPAUL Год назад

The immediate thing that came to my mind was Persephone who was a captive of Hades, she is usually represented by pomegranates

@mariakara2419 Год назад

yaaa also fertility i think ive heard

@andyhu7205 Год назад

I like to think of it as her casting herself into hell to escape him! The pomegranate in Greek mythology is what kept Persephone from her mother in the underworld!

@cecilkeith1951 Год назад

Persephone and Hades vibes

@adiastar9815 Год назад

@@Ashni1 interesting. In many other languages, it is literally called a "grenade apple", plus "pomme" in french means just apple...

@Seafoamee Год назад

The symbolism of her lighting her candle and watching it burn down while his is unlit and barely touched is perfect

@Raelyn03 Год назад

I was just about to comment on that, its really such a cool detail!!

@fallen_star2319 Год назад

Add in that al the ones in his view are perfectly fine, while hers are starting to burn out? The one symbolizing her burns out entirely, the one representing him is never lit. But the surrounding candles, symbolizing work and effort? His are half tall, still easily burning. Hers are almost at their ends - she is completely burnt out in herself and from the excess work that she does for him, while he doesn't need to exert himself in nearly the same fashion. It's a smaller detail, but a really nice one.

@garimabajaj7443 Год назад

oh my god, wow. this made me think so much.

@paigelarrabee3143 Год назад

Her candle seems to symbolize patience. Her fuse must get lit every mealtime. Even if he isn't there and away at work. She toils over everything and so it has been eroded to the point of an escape plan.

@bleepbloop838 Год назад

Like she loved and unloved, but he never learnt to love. Idk.

@empuwm 5 месяцев назад

Left a toxic relationship with a 43 year old man who groomed me since i was 17 after i had just gotten out of a break up and he took advantage of my vulnerable state. I never knew i was being groomed. Still hurts. But im free

@highlandangel-885 5 месяцев назад

Good for you, Merry Christmas! ✨🎅🏻🎄☃️✨

@ekbutterflyink 4 месяца назад

Good for you! I’m sure it’s got to be incredibly hard to go through! ❤️

@Noukie032 13 дней назад

How are you doing now? I hope you feel extremely well❤

@sarascarpati887 7 дней назад

hope you are in a better relatioship

@briannahuddleston3686 4 дня назад

I’m happy for you. Tough times make you more grateful once you’re out 🙏🏻

@buggybug09 6 месяцев назад

Im an avid history enthusiast. This song perfectly encapsulates the horrors and cycles experienced by woman throught human history. The part where you can hear the children chant with her showcases rhe repeation of it all. Women STILL face just about the same issues like this even now! This song is literally representing every woman who has faced this kind of abuse. From year one, to now. Every woman in history, this is their anthem.

@matthewbates9629 5 месяцев назад

Just because that was your experience doesn’t mean it’s someone else’s not all men treat women like that

@buggybug09 5 месяцев назад

@matthewbates9629 NO where in my comment did I mention "all men" neither did I mention men at all. I was just merely talking about how this song not only applies to women of today, but women thought history.This song isn't about men. It's about empowering women. It's a song about the abuse suffered by women in abusive or toxic relationships. Again, not about men, but women.

@buggybug09 5 месяцев назад

@matthewbates9629 legit had a stroke reading this. Do you know what punctuation is? Anyway, all your points don't make sense- yes women and men have differences but what in the he'll does that have to do with this song or my comment?

@riley_heretic 5 месяцев назад

@@matthewbates9629found the “not all men” guy. 🙄😒

@noyoudidnot3513 5 месяцев назад

@@matthewbates9629 Why do you all have to be so defensive, lmao. You can't see anything without making it about you? Grow up.

@anaionescu8913 Год назад

The pomegranate is a symbol of renewal and rebirth in some cultures. The fact that that's the food she reaches for as she rebels against her 'master', and devours it hungrily, tells such a powerful story of aggressive protest against oppressors.

@marthadumptruck5102 Год назад

The pomegranate is also an established symbol of womanhood- to the Greeks, Gauls, Roma, and in Judaism. It’s been called “the fruit of the womb”. It’s not just renewal/rebirth- she’s claiming her womanhood fully, wholly for herself.

@All-ze9cl Год назад

Also, idk if this has any relevance to what she is saying, but in the greek myth, Persephone gets trapped in the underworld because she eats hades pomegranate. She has to stay with him during the winter which is why the trees lose their leaves. SO it could be her reclaiming her womanhood and eating the pomegranate in spite of the man.

@horselover40 Год назад

Its also a very difficult fruit to eat and stay relatively clean even when trying. If you just say screw it and go to town it could be seen as a symbol of everything "unladylike" messy, ungraceful, even savage if you go about it right, but true womanhood can easily include all of these things. Even though we often hide them

@rowanfrost8489 Год назад

Stephen King actually uses the pomegranate symbolism in his book Rose Madder.

@spiffyvanspot Год назад

Just adding that it's also theorized the fruit Eve eats in Eden is a pomegranate, not an apple. There's a lot of layers to that choice in the video.

@percivalchase780 Год назад

Watch how he looks amused as she starts eating before looking angry. He feels like she's a joke before she keeps going, she proves to him she's serious. gods i love this song

@momo-wp5mb Год назад

Righttt

@kittypanda10 Год назад

Yup I wonder if they will find us amusing when we all fight back 😡

@merelha5930 Год назад

I personally think he looks more uncomfortable? Like he doesn't understand what she is doing and why and actually physically doesn't look at her (looking down, hiding behind his hands). He looks up after a while and is also shocked she is gone.

@musicremixes847 Месяц назад

@@kittypanda10 try and "fight back"

@ForgottenMan2009 6 месяцев назад

On a lighter note, anybody who can get 'capillaries' into a song ought to get a special award! !

@TinyLittleRabbit 7 месяцев назад

This song hits me so hard. My ex was exactly like this. Expected me to wait on him hand and foot and said that we WERE going to have children and adoption and surrogacy were not options, despite knowing I never want children. I was just an incubator to him. Just one month after I left him, I had my tubes taken out so no man can EVER try to take that decision from me again. Best choice I've ever made.

@lachlainegordon806 Год назад

When she grabbed the pomegranate to signify her enjoying the fruits of her own labour was just YASSSSSSS and pomegranates have long been a symbol of womanhood bc they represent periods. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

@chembabe8264 Год назад

And blood... it signifies blood

@quizyjest1616 Год назад

Plus in Greek Mythology pomegranates are seen as a fruit of fertility, hence their signifying of blood but more specifically menstration. Additionally, in other faiths pomegrantes are seen as a fruit of gods, so her eating it is a symbol of defiance, not unlike Eve in Abrahamic faiths.

@iamV10010 Год назад

@@chembabe8264 can't tell if you're adding to the original comment by saying the pomegranate also signifies blood or if you're making fun of it in an"it ain't that deep" way. Please clarify so I may respond accordingly.

@ponypony2905 Год назад

AND it's also present as the fruit that sentenced Persephone for life with Hades in the underworld, despite her protests I MEAN ITS SO BADASS

@AgentLane13 Год назад

@@chembabe8264 boy have I got news for you about the connection between menstruation and blood

@hee-hoo5672 Год назад

“I know you’re a smart man, and weaponize false incompetence. It’s dominance under a guise” THAT FUCKING LINE AND THE SUBSEQUENT LINES HIT HARD. This whole song is so beautiful and heartbreaking yet at the end so strong

@RiverCrystal Год назад

This is the first time I've heard of weaponized incompetence in a song and I'm here for it.

@hee-hoo5672 Год назад

@@RiverCrystal same, the first time I heard it I felt my brain physically click. There’s finally a phrase for what I’ve been trying to articulate, AND it’s part of a beautiful song???

@harvardpsychic8396 Год назад

I think of myself as a well read, self aware feminist. And this song just made me realized how much I give to men and how I never even saw it! I never saw it because I was conditioned to give men so much of myself. I was groomed to it before I knew how to speak, and know I'm not the only one. It's so sad.

@kenny995 Год назад

It was a brilliant line. I've started calling out weaponized incompetence from people in my life. I ask them if they are genuinely dumb and can't do it, or if they are playing dumb to make you do it. They go silent real quick and that silence speaks volumes.

@golden0lady1 Год назад

What does it mean by it ? English is not my first language

@livfaferek6231 4 месяца назад

"Not all men, but somehow always a man"

@AbeeraUsmanKhawaja 2 месяца назад

Every single man ever & now too.

@NR-ou3hr 5 месяцев назад

This song makes me think of my grandmother in India who was a very strong woman with a high level career - the first woman in her area to ride a motorcycle as well. Through the curse that is arranged marriage she was married off to a man who was jealous of her career position and would do everything he could to put her down and save his fragile ego. She only experienced the full brunt of it after she retired and is now suffering from dementia and haunted by memories of the past, all because she would be shun by society and her own family if she divorced him. Her condition is pathetic and it hurts to see such a fall from a high level career woman to a poor old lady suffering from dementia and depression, still stuck with him until the day she dies. My sisters from all over the world, marriage is NOT the most important thing for a woman in her life. Focus on yourself, your passions, your career, and do NOT let society and family tell you what to do with YOUR life. If you do that, you will be the one suffering in the end. Edit: I freaking love how this comment section is like a big, free therapy session/support group for girls and women all over the world. It’s so wholesome and the definition of sisterhood! 👩 ❤️👩🏼‍🦳 ❤️🧕🏽 ❤️👩🏾 ❤️👵🏾

@Todaysreminder918 5 месяцев назад

❤❤❤

@clearly_a_human 5 месяцев назад

Another Indian here! My own grandmother was an award winning sanskrit lecturer. One the most educated women in the family and was about to achieve great heights in germany before they forced her into a marriage. I still remember she told me about her parents slapping her to tell her that she was getting too old and needed to marry for the honour of the family, and the smile on her face when she told that story. Me and my cousins and sisters will do anything to save each other from that fate now, and do our best to fly on our own wings. You have one life and it belongs to no one but you. Do not let anyone steal that from you.

@larafranke1802 5 месяцев назад

@@clearly_a_human I am so sorry, your grandmother went through this 🫂 I don't know the options back than but as far as I know there are now adresses you can contact if you or any of your family members might be forced into a marriage in Germany. I hope your grandmother got lucky and had a good man, but it is so sad that being the most successful isn't bringing as much if any honor to a family as marrying someone 🤯🤬😭 Love greetings from a German ♥️

@NR-ou3hr 5 месяцев назад

@@clearly_a_human My mother has a friend who is a Chemist and was nominated for the Nobel Prize. It’s funny, she was also in Germany recently! People back home are still harassing her family on why she hasn’t married yet. Direct quote: “Ah what’s the point of her getting Nobel Prize nomination and all? She’s still not married yet.” 😒 Luckily she said that she’s married to the Chemistry lab and now that she’s in her thirties people have started to leave her alone. When will people learn that women are also humans with aspirations???

@clearly_a_human 5 месяцев назад

@@NR-ou3hr Nominated for The Noble prize! Such an amazing achievement, so much larger than the marriage that they put importance on! I wonder how many such amazing and talented people we have lost to the curse of family expectations for something as ruining as matrimony. Glad to hear that your mothers friend stayed loyal to her passion and i hope that one day they'll leave me and my sisters alone too lol

@kiararodriguez2118 Год назад

The background vocals being children at the end enrages me and breaks my heart. This is a masterpiece. Every little detail is perfect

@em01455 Год назад

I didn’t even realize that my god

@highdeadesigns6424 Год назад

That's my favorite part😭😭

@universal_stupidity Год назад

she has apparently said they aren't children, but it's still beautiful

@solus8685 Год назад

I think it's young women, not kids

@aeonia_anassa 2 месяца назад

What even made you think that's children singing, its extremely clear it's not but the fact you "heard" children's voices worries me. Whatever it is, I hope you're taking care of it.

@user-gb6dz6dh4l 9 месяцев назад

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” sends chills down my spine 😭

@van_ol1056 4 месяца назад

Literally, so many misogynistic men justify giving women all the domestic chores bc it's a "love language". And men's only love language is somehow always physical touch, never service

@Rebekah_withanH 3 месяца назад

@@van_ol1056 the love languages thing was invented by an Evangelical pastor

@SummerSun-sg3wf 3 месяца назад

And yet they never touch you to control you

@schuylergeery-zink1923 3 месяца назад

Touch is about platonic and no sexual affectionate touch. And usually you naturally DO the love language you prefer. So my husband appreciates acts of service (when I cook for us) and he cleans a lot, does his own laundry, does the dishes etc. He also is quick to give praise and is receptive to words of affirmation. I enjoy quality time and touch, so he knows I want conversation and like hugs and massages. We do all the love languages tho. It’s just we know what to ask for clearly of each other.

@rosasuarez1 2 месяца назад

@@SummerSun-sg3wf?

@bumbleB1 7 месяцев назад

This song always makes me think about my grandmother who gave up her dream of being an architect because that "wasn't a job women did".

@kmladwig2666 6 месяцев назад

The way that, in the chorus, you can hear children singing as well shows that these roles are esstablished at a young age.

@realvikingqueen7967 6 месяцев назад

Women choir, no children...✌

@kmladwig2666 6 месяцев назад

@@realvikingqueen7967 My bad. My statement still stands that it's taught from a young age.

@Bryna.. Год назад

the rage that builds up through the song is devastating but so beautiful. this song invokes so many emotions. the line about the daughter breaks my heart and Im not even a mom

@shellygirl999 Год назад

The message behind this song is exactly why I refuse to have kids. It doesn’t matter how well I teach my son not to be incompetent, or teach my daughter not to be meek and domestic, society expects them to be that way, and kids don’t deserve to suffer through that. I’m ending my generational trauma right here.

@fakename658 Год назад

I Only wish it was angrier

@gameguy3394 Год назад

@@shellygirl999 🤪💀😂

@thejadegecko Год назад

@@fakename658 It needs a rock / metal remix/cover of it. @SkyDxddy needs to do a cover. It would be perfect.

@charlomand3r Год назад

same and motivates me to break the cycle if i ever decide to have kids

@punpkinpi2015 Год назад

I just noticed a very incredible little detail in the candle she lights for herself in the beginning. Throughout the song you can see it burning lower and lower, and by the end when she's disappeared, its at the bottom and the wick is the only one blown out. Both her and the candle were burnt out, and so she left. I love the attention to little things like this in music videos, makes the story all that much stronger and shows how much love was put into making it. EDIT: I just noticed the man's candle is not only longer but is never lit. He's never having to burn himself out on any domestic labor whatsoever.

@alexwulf9150 Год назад

Also the pitch of her voice seems to follow this pattern as well, the high, timid childlike beginning slowly sliding into low, strong, mature end.

@irenequarena2064 Год назад

and can we also point out the fact that she ripped apart a pomegranate, and started eating exactly that fruit? the remind to Greek mythology and the myth of Persephone, trapped and tricked by Hades with 4 pomegranate seeds to stay with him in "Hell" for 4 months a year? what always represented oppression in symbolism now is the key to freedom and also the fact that all she eats reminds of a blood-ish color might also represent the fact that she got so tired of hanging on that she quite literally eat her heart out, such a beautiful song and meaning also through images

@Gabi24492 Год назад

@@irenequarena2064 curious enough, Hades was probably the best olympian husband by far

@ugetsuapologist5310 Год назад

@@Gabi24492 very low standards in greek mythologies but their relationship was the definition of grooming and should not be glorified.

@jhunt5578 Год назад

"On any labour whatsoever" Yes because men don't do any work do they. Smh

@TheMetalButcher 6 месяцев назад

I'm a single guy, so not your typical listener, but this song is a masterpiece on many levels.

@atomicpbj5649 6 месяцев назад

Same.

@chanutamari2120 6 месяцев назад

And I am glad that even guys feel that this song is a masterpiece! ❤❤

@skycub 6 месяцев назад

Real, got recommended this on Spotify. The world play is nuts

@famine3141 5 месяцев назад

same

@Userinterfaceexperience 5 месяцев назад

Thanks gents ❤

@atraxrobustus4452 4 месяца назад

i love the symbolism of the pomegranate, for those who don’t know, pomegranates are a symbol of the ancient greek deity persephone, she was tricked by hades using a pomegranate seed, forever tying her to him and the underworld. they were also adopted as a symbol of the virgin mary representing fertility and femininity. the ancient persians saw pomegranates as a symbol of love and sanctity. beautiful

@erinlayke5452 4 месяца назад

It was also the symbol that Katherine of Aragon used on her coat of arms

@atraxrobustus4452 3 месяца назад

@@erinlayke5452oh interesting! i wonder if it was a reference to the virgin mary? i love botanic symbolism, it’s fascinating, the things people think about when they see the world around them.

@taylorbalon6488 Год назад

This song unleashed something very scary and emotional inside me. It’s like suddenly I’m feeling all the grief, suffering and anger of every women since the dawn of time.

@miriamschmitz394 Год назад

Exactly and it connects you to your female ancestors

@jessicam.3438 Год назад

i love this comment paired with your icon

@taylorbalon6488 Год назад

@@jessicam.3438 LMAOOO thank u :))

@Farbklex94 Год назад

This is how I felt, but I couldn't put it into words.

@user-gv2mc3db8v Год назад

Literally, just wow.

@AppreciativeViewer Год назад

These lyrics dig to every woman's core. Therapist, mother, maid, nymph, virgin, nurse, servant, baby machine, an appendage or accessory to someone else's life and dreams. Women are expected to be selfless and do so much "labor" without it even being regarded as such. Why do you suppose self-indulgence and independence are so sought after? Why is it a high bar to want a partner, but not want to become their mother?

@jooniesbonsai4064 Год назад

And the worse thing is that they even get praised for being selfless when they should have never given up those things in the first place, which even encourages this kind of behaviour, idk if i should say this but it's better to be selfish in this case

@untitledgaming9081 Год назад

@@jooniesbonsai4064 to an extent because we don’t want people stealing from their lover just to buy stuff for themselves. So maybe a little selfish but not full on narcissistic

@sarcasticallyrearranged Год назад

untitled gaming What in the hell are you on about? Stay on topic because you’re babbling about someone stealing from their lover?

@Sadtoday Год назад

Correct

@Firsona Год назад

@@untitledgaming9081 I think you missed the point. It's not as much about materiel things, though that's a part of it. No one is saying you should use someone. What we're saying is culturally we were taught that we should not even want to have time or space or things for ourselves. We should be happy to support someone else our entire life.

@hooddaddy7124 2 месяца назад

The fear of having a daughter is so real for so many women. It’s one thing to teach a son to be a good person, it’s another thing to have to teach your daughter to defend herself incase the sons we raised fail to listen.

@Angel-od1bt 2 месяца назад

I think I’d fear a son more. You can do an amazing job raising him but society raises your children too, and misogyny is baked in deep. This is why I’m opting out or one of many reasons, I would fear FOR a daughter and fear a son.

@Jukajobs Месяц назад

@@Angel-od1bt yeah, honestly, imagine growing a whole other human inside of you, giving it your own body's resources, the nutrients you eat, your antibodies, the calcium from your bones, experiencing all the (often permanent) side-effects of pregnancy, then going through the difficult process of giving birth, and it's a boy, you raise him and care for him, but then many years later he's groping women, he rapes someone or becomes a domestic abuser or some violent mass-shooter incel writing manifestos about how women should be put in forced breeding camps? i already don't plan to have kids, but if i did that'd be a terrifying possibility.

@sharinganMRDBZ 25 дней назад

@@Angel-od1bt I'm highly confused. From 1 to 3 years old is the most influential on a child whether boy or girl. From the nomination of age 12 where the peak of parental influences occurs. Based on a few papers, early pregnancy, substance ab/use, violence occurs due to the lack of influence from a parental figure. Educational attainment, reproductive health, and social derailment/maintenance are also heavily influenced by parental engagement. Placing the failure of parenting removes accountability from the parents and places the majority of external aspects.

@everlastingpika1454 7 месяцев назад

I love how even after all that labor she cant even enjoy the fruits of her labor. And I like how she didn't just show a normal meal. She showed an excessive amount of food showing that it's not the normal amount of work that kills us, but the overwhelming burden of giving our husband's (whether or not we want them) our all and even more.

@lanternure6122 8 месяцев назад

I don't usually comment but no one is talking about the plates. The song is literally about her being trapped in a loveless marriage and forced to be nothing but a tool for him, all the while he's eating off of a Blue Willow. The pattern on that dish is supposed to tell the story of a true love that was denied by the bride's father and ended in the couple becoming birds so they could be together. Her plate is a Blue Onion, based on a Chinese design that featured an Aster and a pomegranate. Asters represent many things in different cultures, but most notably love, faith and purity. Pomegranates in China represent fertility and a blessed future among other things. They are literally eating off dishes that show what their marriage should have been. Love, devotion and happiness but that's not what it ended up being. It's such a subtle detail and I love it. (also, although the design didn't originally feature an onion, I think it should also be noted that the word onion comes from the Latin word unio which, if I remember correctly, means unity or to unite.

@barbaragordon_ 8 месяцев назад

Such a cool detail, thanks for explaining

@jnannadavid6114 7 месяцев назад

There's such a long long history of women's secret languages used to communicate when they were cut off, isolated, and abused by the patriarchal societies they had to survive under. Flowers and Fans in England were well known, but even using the plate settings in this music video is amazing. I would never have put it together without you pointing it out and I am so grateful that you did! Nushu is another women's language that comes to mind and has such a rich history. I feel like there is a huge movement growing within the universal sisterhood of women on this planet, where we are starting to give voice to the long legacy of warnings our mothers and grandmothers were forced to whisper or desperately symbolize without hope of escape. We live in a world where we can finally speak these things out loud, and join together in the fight to fix them.

@NTLN-N 7 месяцев назад

Learned something new. Though, this isn't the case just for loveless marriages, even men who genuinely love their wives too often sit back and expect to be served. I'm so tired of everything.

@aiden3627 7 месяцев назад

This is amazing I couldn’t even see the design, good catch. And thanks for explaining!

@cazgreen_ 7 месяцев назад

@@NTLN-NThat's not really love if he's sitting back and expecting her to serve him.

@lucreziabenelli4521 Год назад

This song is like 1000 times better than I could’ve ever imagined. It really captures the feeling of being a woman during all History. It has such feminine rage that we can all feel it through the screen

@ilsedevries2529 Год назад

Have you heard her song 'fruits' ? It is also a lot of femine rage combined with witch vibes

@lucreziabenelli4521 Год назад

@@ilsedevries2529 I actually did. Thanks to TikTok I did a tour of all her music, and I’m utterly in love with “fruits”. But thank you anyway for the suggestion ☺️

@aceonmaces_dolphins Год назад

I totally agree and I also want to point out to support your statement that when she's eating the pomegranate, it splatters and it stains her fingers and chin. It resembles blood and the eaten pomegranate bears a scary resemblance to organs. I think that part really exemplifies the female rage that the video is projecting where she's so angry from the mistreatment that her husband shows her and that's a murder stare if I've ever seen one.

@lucreziabenelli4521 Год назад

@@aceonmaces_dolphins Yes, I totally see what you’re saying. I also loved that she seemed to enjoy eating the pomegranate, and with that regain the power she lost while with him, and “freaking him out”

@damepasty9203 Год назад

@@lucreziabenelli4521 I have heard that the fruit that Eve actually ate that got her and Adam kicked out of the garden of Eden was mistranslated as an apple. They say it was more likely a pomegranate.

@BeccaFaye1314 5 месяцев назад

This was my most listened to song on Spotify of 2023.

@zebraskin 7 месяцев назад

This song makes me cry, mainly at the "if we had a daughter" part as I feel I failed my daughter (a tween). Her father projected himself to be the type of man I would want, after I gave birth that changed. I worked till the day I gave birth, saved every penny to try to start my own (home) business after my daughter was born. He never helped at all. I asked him to watch her for 1 hour after work a day, so I could work on my business and it was too much for him, even after I went back to work. I can't even tell you how many charts I made of my time vs his time. Then he put his hands around my neck for the first and only time and I left that night. I left the house I bought before I ever met him, and moved back with my dad. I let him live there rent free for months. I'm still battiling him to this day. He treats my daughter like shit calling her a "stupid girl" (from a self proclamied feminist) and shoves her against walls threating to hit her. I can't do anything legally till he does something to her. The courts even recently gave him 50/50 custody, something he didn't try for until he got married, to pass off to his new wife as he works from the time she gets off of school till after her bed time. Almost everytime I pick her up from his house she is crying. My partner now is amazing, he's a great step dad, what I wish had been her father. He has been my partner for 10+ years and she loves him to death. I just wish I hadn't failed her, but they often trick you. He is emotionally torturing her as he does me now, and she is learning thats normal from him.

@hungry_girl211 7 месяцев назад

Don't know who you are but I'm Hella proud. My mother has a similar story and it was hell to go through. I'm glad you were brave and I admire your strength. Best of luck for the rest of your future ❤

@pamelacrosby281 4 месяца назад

Maybe your daughter could record him calling her names?

@yashny 2 месяца назад

Please try to get some kind of evidence. Maybe text messages or a small camera on herself or her bag so it records abusive events. I also suggest to please send her to therapy or counselling. There could be free ones in learning centres. Women tend to choose people like their fathers later on after child abuse because it feels familiar and they don't even realize it at first. I hope your daughter doesn't go through that 😢

@zebraskin Месяц назад

I feel like I should update. I have documented all of things mentioned in this post and more via email or written correspondence. Unfortunately, in my state, unless he is leaving marks, he's in the ok.... but things changed in that matter a couple of months ago. I have talked to my cousin who worked for CPS and have taken the best routes for our situation. Things are looking much better, and in a year will hopefully bet better. Sorry for being so vague, but I don't want to mess with anything right now. I appreciate all the replies made to me.

@zebraskin Месяц назад

@yashny Thank you for your reply. I have had her in therapy for years and will continue to do so. I hope my husband helps with her influence on how men should treat women, though so far she has mainly had girlfriends. While I haven't told her the exact reasons why me and her father split I have always told her "I believe what you tell me cause he did similar to me" and try to give her advice. We had a grown up family meeting recently, between my partner, ex and his wife, feel it's important his wife is from an evangelical religion (as is my mother), virgin until they married (which was something he told me back when we dated he wanted, which I'm far from) with little dating experience. I brought up his multiple times threatening her physically before he did, and she tried to act snotty towards me (they like to use my nuerodivergence against me, which also will help me in court as our kid is ND) and I was able to throw his own words to it.

@Strawberrygremlins Год назад

My dad is a good father, we did everything. He taught me to build stuff out of wood, didn't care about my appearance. We played basketball together, we joked together. To him, I was just me, not just a girl or woman. But to him, my mother is crazy and exhausting. Joking about her and her mannerisms. I hear him ridicule her. And my mother plays along, goes along with every patriarchal rule. Forces me to shave and cried when I cut my long hair off. My mother is an oppressed woman yet enforces opression herself. She is trapped inside that worldview and can't see past it's horizon. My mother is a toxic woman, yet I wonder what could've been if society didn't make her the way she is today. I am scared to end up like my mom. Thankful for my dad, yet scared to end up with someone like him. "Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate." -Bonnie Burstow

@Iamhere829 Год назад

Exactly....up until i was old enough to understand....i thought my mother was hysterical..i always sided with my father or my brother until i understood it because of my maternal grandfather who took away opportunities from my mother and forced a stupid marriage on her and it was my father who coerced her... My brother's a good man but he could too be sometimes irresponsible....i loved her more than ever when she said that no matter how old i (me) get .. She will let me marry to the man of my choice... Who will treat me right.. however all the Years of torture and being raised in a narrow minded circumstance ..still set her back and she sometimes does ends up being misogynistic despite me doing all the things to help her out and differentiating her treatment between me and my brother (maybe I'm wrong)... I love her soo much but unfortunately i will move out once I'm independent...and Yet...I'll always be grateful to have a wonderful mother...

@Hello-hello-hello456 Год назад

When you grow up you do truly realise how casually sexist so many people in your life are.

@ooblebip Год назад

every woman should read Burstow. she was so acute, so sharp. and the other comment is right, as you grow up you realise just how many of the men in your life you thought were good are "benevolently" or "casually" sexist. it almost feels like a betrayal, in a weird way

@moshpot2 Год назад

Wow.. that hit. My Dad was the friend while my Mom was the rage-a-holic..

@diti636 Год назад

I can relate to every word you said... I'm tearing up.. don't worry you're not alone in this🫶🏼

@egghead_felix Год назад

This song is the most perfect representation of female rage I've ever seen. I have chills.

@lovemycats2009 Год назад

agreed! especially when the little girls are screaming along to the song in the background. gives literal chills

@MushroomCloudOfDoom Год назад

Ditto. Had this on repeat for two days now and I’m ready to start a riot. Feminine rage is such a powerful thing

@salaahkhayr2398 Год назад

Imagine men make one because of military, blue collar jobs, war!!! But hey, men have it so easy damn lol.

@l.r.4006 Год назад

@salaah khayr those are seperate issues. this song is specifically about abusive relationships that women get trapped in. How about instead of complaining here, you make your own music?

@salaahkhayr2398 Год назад

@@l.r.4006 I’m pretty sure it’s more about things women are socially associated with more than abuse. Tc

@julialucas3738 4 месяца назад

No one is talking about how the whole song it’s like he is deaf to her singing because he’s too wrapped up in himself. And when she acts like he does is the only time he pays attention, and doesn’t take her serious, but laughs.

@natyss 2 месяца назад

Мне показалось, что он смеется, потому что ему неловко, но затем он начинает показывать свое неодобрение(

@813greeneyedgirl 5 месяцев назад

As a woman married to a supportive and respectful partner, I still feel this in my bones for my ancestors, my mother, my sisters. So powerful!

@OKHolly Год назад

I can't get over the line "You weaponize incompetence...it's dominance under guise." I never thought of it that way before, but men feigning incompetence truly is just another way to control women. It's so insidious and blows my mind.

@tima7814 Год назад

it's very calculated but at the same time it's so obvious, it makes you think of something a toddler would come up with. speaks to the amount of emotional maturity men are accepted to have vs. what women are beholden too.

@paigelarrabee3143 Год назад

It can also be interpreted as him weaponizing her perceived incompetence to do things so only he can do it and so she has to rely on him.

@Irisicaaa Год назад

I've seen it in my father a million times

@amandavlam9656 Год назад

I think it's important to note it's "you weaponize false incompetence" too because everyone involved knows it's an act and is just supposed to go along with it

@salaahkhayr2398 Год назад

Military, blue collar jobs are saying hello. Oh damn women have it so sooo bad lol.

@amber61pop Год назад

"Apologies from my tongue, and never yours." "If our love died would that be the worst thing? For somebody that I thought was my saviour, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour." I cried, these lyrics hurt so much. Thank you.

@harvardpsychic8396 Год назад

That line made me realize so much. I've had relationships with men of influence. I was drawn in under some idea that they would make my life easier and love me. But they almost always drain more from me then they give, and I do mean DRAIN. Looking back, if I had just given them the finger and invested that energy in myself then I would have been better off. Damn, the patriarchial PR system is so huge and insiidious.

@user-ki6dt9bf1s Год назад

😊😊

@aPeachWhoLovesYeshua Год назад

@@harvardpsychic8396 Patriarchy isn’t the problem, selfish and inconsiderate men are the problem. I’m currently learning to love myself and God because I put too much energy into selfish men in the past💯

@charliemackin9620 Год назад

It's all propaganda and ponting out the worst of possibilities to destroy the west and its traditionally rich culture. Now we see no culture and broken families due to propaganda like this filth. Could have make a better song for the human soul. Life requires work to survive 💪

@AbeeraUsmanKhawaja 2 месяца назад

@@aPeachWhoLovesYeshuaPatriarchy & men both are problem.

@rlorendean 5 месяцев назад

Entire women's history in a song. Thank you.

@akaashisemomode7203 7 месяцев назад

I have a history teacher who loves teaching us about womans rolls during historical process like the mexican independence and so, and it's surprising how much womans efforts to help were just... cut off history books... He also asks us abour our experiences with misoginy and i've heard so many storys of my classmates that are just... shocking... but what I love of those classes is that some of our male clasmates sometimes just look at us like: "wow, we had no idea", and I appreciate the fact that they are actually growing conscious about how the world is still towards woman.

@eleni00 Год назад

LYRICS: Why are you hanging on So tight To the rope that I’m hanging from Off this island This was an escape plan Carefully timed it So let me go And dive into the waves below Who tends the orchards? Who fixes up the gables Emotional torture From the head of your high table Who fetches the water From the rocky mountain spring And walk back down again To feel you words and their sharp sting And I’m getting fucking tired The capillaries in my eyes are bursting If our love died, would that be the worst thing? For somebody I thought was my saviour You sure make me do a whole lot of labour The calloused skin on my hands is cracking If our love ended, would that be a bad thing? As the silence haunts our bed chamber You make me do too much labour Apologies from my tongue Never yours Busy lapping from flowing cup And stabbing with your fork I know you’re a smart man And weaponise The false incompetence It’s dominance under guise If we had a daughter I’d watch and could not save her The emotional torture From the head of your high table She’d do what you taught her She’d meet the same cruel fate So now I’ve gotta run So I can undo this mistake At least I’ve gotta try The capillaries in my eyes are bursting If our love died, would that be the worst thing? For somebody I thought was my saviour You sure make me do a whole lot of labour The calloused skin on my hands is cracking If our love ended, would that be a bad thing? As the silence haunts our bed chamber You make me do too much labour All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24/7 baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It’s not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour

@VickiLovesDoctorWho Год назад

It sounds like "to the rope that I'm hanging from" to me

@marionapina Год назад

Thanks homie

@call_me_ace_ Год назад

Thanks bro

@i_draw_whatever1677 Год назад

Thanks so much

@jennivamp5 Год назад

Thank you thank you 😁❤️

@GemBob123 Год назад

This song just epitomises how women's roles are consistently delegitimised. Even the stereotypical housewife is not seen as real 'labour'. Cooking, cleaning, managing the home, taking care of the children is a job. Just because it's not paid, it's seen as somehow 'worth less'. Stunning.

@hassanalkhalaf1115 Год назад

But who does stigmatise it? It's not men, it's feminists. They shit on women who are haply to be housewives because how dare they to live happily under a man?! During that conservative men don't expect their wives to work a job and at home because everyone has their assigned roles. Want to quit that? That's cool but many are happy with that as long as they got the choice

@lw9515 Год назад

@@hassanalkhalaf1115 "Under a man" is a telling choice of words and sounds miserable by any metric. The women I know were/are housewives and mothers see it as more of a partnership if he's earning.

@hassanalkhalaf1115 Год назад

@@lw9515 these aren't my words. It's used by (extreme) feminists to shit on housewives and mothers

@lw9515 Год назад

@@hassanalkhalaf1115 I think most people argue that because its a risk. If I had a daughter, I would want her to ensure she still had work history, experience and references to fall back on if her marriage didn't work out. And that she wasn't financially dependent etc.

@hassanalkhalaf1115 Год назад

@@lw9515 that's a valid point.

@KlairIconic 5 месяцев назад

One detail that lives rent free in my head is at 2:35. He taps his knife against his cup and she stands up grabbing her plate before pausing. He doesn't say anything, just gives a signal that she's now allowed to get some food. Like when you call your pet to come get their food. It's infuriating because my great-grandfather used to do the exact same thing to my great-grandmother. The first time I saw him do that I was maybe 5 or 6 and I didn't understand at the time. The only time I had ever seen something like that was in movies when someone taps their glass to get a rooms attention for a speech or something. I sat waiting for him to say something, because why else would he do that? I only vaguely noticed my great-grandma now putting food on her plate which had been empty for the last twenty or so minutes since we all sat down. My mom saw me watching and distracted me and after we got home explained what it was and I remember asking her "Like we do when it's time to feed Scar?" (our dog at the time) and when she told me yes I felt sick to my stomach hearing it.

@qwertyasf 4 месяца назад

I thought it was to signal he is ready for dessert since she picks up a dessert plate then devours it herself. Also horrified to hear about your grandmother 😢 I'm sorry she wasn't better treated

@KlairIconic 4 месяца назад

@@qwertyasf It did take a couple watches to really notice it, but if you look at 3:25 when she looks up after getting food all over her face, he has this amused kind of smirk-smile that immediately turns into an annoyed frown. He's not happy because this is not how she's "allowed" to act. And my great-grandparents didn't really know anything different. They were born in the mid 1920's and got married when he was I think 19 or 20 and she was 18, they just copied the same relationship their parents had. Both were children of immigrants (his from Russia, hers from Romania) and thought it was something normal. She is doing much better now, she lives with one of my aunts since great-grandpa passed away 20 years ago and will be celebrated her 95th birthday this year.

@ashleycatron3330 3 месяца назад

Ultimately, women need to learn to save themselves. This song is epic. Every lyric hits

@annabelle6770 Год назад

1:55 "if we had a daughter i'd watch and could not save her" this part brings tears to my eyes every time i listen

@cutiepienico5600 Год назад

Same cried when first heared that line hit me hard😢

@wordwoman9900 Год назад

I am that daughter. I saved myself. But my mom still cried when I pointed it out in adulthood and she realized what growing up under my father's thumb was actually like.

@alexwhyley2786 Год назад

@@wordwoman9900Sammmmmme. That part made me sob instantly soon as I heard it. So sad and cruel that it’s such a universal experience so many wives and daughters can relate to.

@kanaksikarwar223 Год назад

Actually they can save bit they choose not to! That's how times are changing. The more you support your daughter the more you are saving her from all of this.

@PerfectlyDeranged Год назад

This hit me hard too. I left. I wasn’t going to watch my daughter grow up thinking how I was being treated was anywhere near okay. That the example for her would to be bullied, beaten down, insulted, gaslit, manipulated, tricked and deceived while I worked my ass off to look after a man child. It wasn’t happening. I cut my losses for her sake and I thank god every day that I did.

@awk-wordwriter7179 Год назад

The ending of this gives me chills. I remember my mother and her bf locking up the pantry and being the only sibling who had a key. My mother was never home or when she was she'd lock herself in her room. Her bf was no help. So I had to cook for a household of five. Always serving myself last. My brothers yelling at me and throwing tantrums because they wanted snack food as opposed to the meal I had just slaved over. I remember having it drilled into me that it was my job to watch my younger brothers. That girls mature slower. That men have needs, so I shouldn't be so harsh. I remember staying home from events to make sure my brothers ate. Being told it was my fault if the family was ripped apart. My mother to this day will claim that I was never a problem child, but when I tell her I was suffering silently she plays the victim. I remember my church wanting me at their private school, but not my brothers. Because I was a meek obedient young "woman" and they were "rowdy boys" When this character served herself, not caring for manners, just for her hunger, I felt that. She saw the fruits of her labour as her own and decided to reap the benefits, to take care of herself first. Before fleeing this one sided, one way, relationship that did nothing but take and take. This song captures the pain of being viewed as nothing more than someone's mother, wife, daughter etc... As well as the release you feel when you realize you are so much more than that.

@Tiana.1.12 Год назад

I am so sorry you had to go through that. You're so unbelieveable strong and brave I really hope you're doing okay and got the help you needed! Please take care of yourself and stay safe!

@deanndrakidd Год назад

Girls mature faster than boys (biologically and mentally- science backs this up)...... oof I'm so sorry that you grew up dealing with that load of rot

@christyanarose Год назад

I am sorry u had to go through that... Wow... Love to you. ❤❤❤ ❤️❤️❤️ and I think the artist has succeeded ...

@YourMindinBloom Год назад

hugs for you

@-N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y- Год назад

Hugs!

@MelancholyStarfire 7 месяцев назад

I'm in a healthy relationship but this song is a banger.

@Rye_Toast 2 месяца назад

I'm in a healthy relationship now, but oh my I certainly came close to being forever tied to men just like this. And so many of my friends are currently in relationships like this.

@someoneawesome8717 4 месяца назад

I love the venomous intensity of her resentment in this, I haven't felt something quite like it in a long time

@chloee4729 Год назад

My mother blasts this in the car when my father is also in the car. The look on his face is always priceless. Still waiting for them to get the divorce papers over with.

@kobainpeep7114 Год назад

Sounds totally healthy 😅 great 👍

@Nick-ss7jb Год назад

Yeah thats stupid

@RunAround7510 Год назад

you are sick

@aloevera5600 Год назад

Good on your mom, I hope this isn't too hard on you

@anxietygirl_BIonroblox Год назад

@@Nick-ss7jb no it’s not

@berriexcream Год назад

My mom was a housewife didn’t want to be but my disgusting father coerced her into it, had her believing she couldn’t do it on her own. Up until their divorce I watched her lay out his clothes, make dinner, make his bed, make his plate, she’d be up at 2am with a hot breakfast and his lunch packed for him. The house would be spotless by the time we got home at 4pm-for years I watched this and that man never gave her a single thank you-not one. I have completely gone no contact with my father after everything, he truly is the reason I have trust issues.

@ujiiiiosjwwj4jr Год назад

I'm so sorry no woman deserves this :(((

@foggylegg6362 Год назад

To all people, you don't reap if you don't sow. If you don't put the work in, you will have no one who cares.

@berriexcream Год назад

@@foggylegg6362 excuse me? Are you implying that the abuse my mother and I went through isn’t valid?

@mariadrinkstea2297 Год назад

💔 no words

@mssuqiyomi Год назад

I’m glad you went no contact with him. Hopefully he pays for what he’s done when his time comes

@dogteetharts971 2 месяца назад

This song can apply to both romantic relationships and parent child relationships. For me I connected it to my father. Not the lines about giving him babies, but the line about being a therapist, mother, maid. And of course the chorus, “you make me do too much labour”.

@luvie2098 4 месяца назад

This is for my my mother, who came to America, at 17, got married at 18, and worked hard day and night to get her education. She and my father supported my family. This song is for my grandmother, who gave birth to 6 children, 4 of whom survived, who got married as a child and was forced to leave school. My grandmother still has a sharp mind. We are from Bangladesh, and she taught herself how to read Arabic, by herself. She taught me how to read Arabic. She and my mother are strong women who rise up above their circumstances. This song is for every woman in the world, from the beginning of time. Not a single sister is excluded, because not a single sister was spared from this abuse.

@bchooper5603 4 месяца назад

This song is also about hating men

@luvie2098 4 месяца назад

@@bchooper5603 it is not. it is about the struggles that women have faced at the hands of men. before you say "not all men" yes, I agree. its not all men, but unfortunately all women suffer. please do not make this about you. women should have their safe spaces to talk about their problems.

@Remyatta 4 месяца назад

@@bchooper5603It’s not🧍‍♀️

@liliesandroses6323 4 месяца назад

@@bchooper5603it's about toxic relationship you can have with anyone parent/family member/spouse, so you basically indicate that men are the toxic one? Quiet misogynistic statement my dude

@bchooper5603 4 месяца назад

@@liliesandroses6323It takes a real misandrist to read something that isn't there.

@TheCrimsonPope Год назад

The line "For somebody I thought was my saviour / You sure make me do a whole lot of labour" sits with me the most, because as women (mostly before Gen Z) we are sold this myth, this "promise" that marriage is the best dream ever, to meet "a prince" plan a wedding, and when you "catch" a husband this is the ultimate win for a woman... but then the reality is a wall of weaponised incompetence and the "dream" is serving and just being a second mother and servant for the man who does not understand any of that OR us as women and they mostly don't even care to try.

@aspannas Год назад

I realized this very early on as a child seeing how my dad treated my mom like a slave. Most men truly don't view women as people and as their equal which is why they're so fine with letting a woman alone take care of the emotional and domestic load, we're below them according to them.

@za685 Год назад

So well put! Women were seriously tricked into thinking that marriage was going to be their biggest accomplishment, they just got trapped honestly

@EmilyTotallynotbees Год назад

When I realized I was a lesbian at around 12 I thought that I would never be happy because I would never have a husband, which is so extremely fucked up looking back.

@saturnreturn272 Год назад

Men think we were born this way and it comes easier to us to cook, clean, and be the primary/sole parent and organiser of all aspects of domestic life. That’s why they have no guilt leaving all these tasks to us. And once we do have children with them they think we will never leave them because single mothers are valued so low by most men. So men and husbands eventually become lazy and women are forced to pick up the extra work at home whilst often working outside the home too. This song is amazing at calling that out.

@SuperbFairy Год назад

@@saturnreturn272 it's important to bear in mind that as much as you dislike people making assumptions about women as a whole, it looks hypocritical when you generalise an entire gender in response, the opposite of what you were praising

@jessiemayfield6749 Год назад

I love the line ‘it’s not an act of love if you make her’ referring to marital/relationship sexual assault blending perfectly into her complaint of being forced to do and be too many things. It’s subtle but important

@kadenceblack8927 11 месяцев назад

It’s truly horrifying that so many people believe rape can’t happen in a marriage. That is a disgusting view to have and is entirely untrue. Consent is always needed, regardless of relationship

@kaosooll 10 месяцев назад

I hope and pray that all of us women never experience this kind of pain. ❤️‍🩹

@BadActingWYIM 10 месяцев назад

@@kadenceblack8927 its disgusting how brain washed we all are. i remember onw time I was sexually assaulted by my boss and girls were telling me not to tell his wife or blaming me. Saying the wife wont believe me anyway or ill just cause the child to grow up with a single parent. wtf? he gave me a raise suddenly the next day but i left. gross

@matthewbates9629 9 месяцев назад

I mean it sucks that happened but what do you expect and if you told the higher ups they would make you sign an affidavit legally binding you to not say anything leaving was the best choice you made in my opinion

@Brokegirlhomestead 9 месяцев назад

And now that you wrote this it makes sense even more 😢

@loisaf0112 3 месяца назад

"so that he never lifts a finger" the double meaning in this is just so incredible

@Doyoujustlovethepain 2 месяца назад

Explain to me plz

@liliesandroses6323 2 месяца назад

@@Doyoujustlovethepain working and pchisical violence

@Bananamations 4 месяца назад

An ANTHEM if there ever was one.

@Lestheangel Год назад

As a latina, its rlly deep in my families roots to serve their husband basically. Husband cheats? Ok its fine. He needs everything at his feet? Ok. Hurt her emotionally everyday? Ok. They stay, its a sad reality that woman are literally trapped in this system and its awful. Im glad people now are realizing this and speaking loudly about how unfair it is. This song helps me cope bc I always clean, cook, take care of the baby etc bc my brother wont help my mom 🧍‍♂️ yup. Im only 14 too

@firstclasswaffles Год назад

First, you should not be putting your age out there (no matter how old you are). Second, it's not ok if someone cheats they can give you STDs and I wouldn't wish gonorrhea on my worst enemy you can actually be sent to jail for transmitting it knowingly to someone else. While there are medications out there to hide or reduce suffering it usually leads up to an early death due to increasing complications to the body. There are some diseases that men carry that they are not screened for because it doesn't impact their health as much but it can kill women and pass on diseases to the child.

@kay-wj3jx Год назад

i’m an indian dating a latino, from colombia and i agree how deeply being housewife is rooted in his family. literally had a fight over how i’m lazy because he thinks i wouldn’t make a good “housewife” because i’m lazy, because i don’t like cooking. i’m 18 and i live with him, i do dishes, i do a lot of work around the house while he does the bare minimum and yet i’m the lazy one-

@firstclasswaffles Год назад

@@kay-wj3jx I'm seeing red flags and it sounds like you need to set some boundaries ASAP. You both do not have enough life experience (hopefully he's not an older guy because usually they know how to live and they're just pretending not to know to see if you're naive enough to fall for their lies) so it's not a good idea to live with someone else until you get a taste of working full time and then coming home to chores. It's exhausting. Working, setting doctor's appointments, researching things, running errands, laundry, fixing things that break, exercising, planning meals, cooking meals, etc. - you should both learn to take care of your own body and personal property first before trying to take care of the other person. Once you see how difficult it is just to maintain yourself for a year, it takes maybe 3 years to get used to living life confidently as an independent adult. You will realize you're not lazy at all and it's very tiring because domestic labor is just as taxing as work but worse because there is hardly any break. Hopefully he will realize it too so he will truly appreciate you. Also after those first few years working, you should have some emergency money saved up just for yourself in your own account just in case he breaks up with you or you need to leave him. You're not married to this man and at the end of the day his money does not belong to you so make sure to make your own money. Also consider couples counseling especially if you are from two very different cultures.

@AlekL3 Год назад

@@kay-wj3jxI really hope you leave that guy

@kay-wj3jx Год назад

@@firstclasswaffles no he’s not old infact he’s two months younger than me, he’s still 17 and i recently turned 18 but he thinks his mind works like a 40 year old and has many life experiences. He’s been through a lot of things in his life with emotionally abusive father and absent mother. He’s had a rough childhood and so do i, we both come from broken families so i do my best to support him mentally and physically. he’s definitely the traditional kind of guy where he thinks he’s the man of the house but the house we’re living im the one paying the rent, i get all the stuff for the house, we just moved in and i spend most of my money on the furniture, i went to ikea alone and got heavy ass furniture by myself so it’s a little disappointing that he doesn’t appreciate all that i do and i have done for him. I love him and i’m giving him some time to realize how good of a girlfriend i am because i’m confident enough to say this because of everything i do. I wouldn’t be moving in with him at this point but due to unfortunate circumstances i have to. I was assaulted and i had no where else to go so he took me into his house and his family is really nice too. He’s never been in a relationship, he’s hooked up with many girls and broken many girls hearts but he gave me a chance and that’s why i like to think this relationship is special in its own way. I just hope as we grow and mature and we graduate highschool this year, we become stronger and he realizes his flaws and become a better man! I also got pregnant by him and had to get an abortion because we’re not ready to become parents. The worst part is when i tell someone all this, they except that we must’ve been together for 2-3 years but that’s not the case we’ve been together for 6 months and everything happened too fast, i don’t regret it but i hope he can change his mindset when it comes to women because he thinks less of us

@gaillinruiters Год назад

I'm not even a wife yet, not even a girlfriend, but this song took a chainsaw to my soul. Sitting here silently while my rage is simmering for every women going through this.

@Michael-st9ky Год назад

No one dares mention what the men go through

@cabitsuchild9700 Год назад

@@Michael-st9ky women aren’t in positions of power to change things for men. But everyone women I know agree things are bad for men too hence this song about Labour I for one would be more than happy to split chores and work full time the main problem being have the choice to do this I’ve met many men who have these picket fence dreams who don’t want their women to have equality- feminism helps men and women

@cutmehtwice Год назад

@@Michael-st9ky Bro, why should women sing a song for us lmfao 💀. It’s our own fault anyways, since we were the one who created the goofy ahh standards anyway. Stop crying and go make a song if you’re so mad.

@drea7421 Год назад

@@Michael-st9ky bet u never actually mention mens issues unless its to undermine womens😂

@strawberrysangria1474 Год назад

@@Michael-st9ky So, when's your song coming out, or did you want Paris Paloma to do that for you? You make her do too much labour!

@gabrielaorozco5479 3 месяца назад

As women WE KNOW exactly what she is singing about. So much truth in a single song. Thank you for expressing what so many of us have felt throughout our lives.

@user-iv9cq3en4c 6 месяцев назад

I have been reading through this comment section crying for the last 1 hour. I have read stories of women overcoming these hardships that should never exist. I read stories of their family member's trials and tribulations. These break my heart on their heart. However, what hurts more than all these is all the overprivileged men in the comments. I'm not saying all men are bad. But just because one women hurt doesn't mean the entire gender is bad. Its the same thing for men. Hats of to all the kind and respectful men out there, who change our lives daily for the better. Girls, don't ever let any man make you feel like your lesser than men. And never, ever bring another person down for the wrong reasons. Standing up for yourself is NOT the same as bringing someone down. Stick together girls, and together we make sure our future generations don't have to go through this shit. Share the message!

@xPrincessGarnetXVI Год назад

I love how the song is introduced with this eloquent and poetic tongue and then right before the chorus she breaks out of it and goes "and I'm getting fucking tired." The shift is so perfect, so spicy and beautiful. It's just another aspect placed on women she is breaking away from - that swearing and speaking aggressively or speaking out in general is not seen as "lady-like." This woman is an absolute genius.

@sophialakota Год назад

🙌

@Anastasi.R 11 месяцев назад

Wow, such a nice observation ❤

@FishieFishFosh 10 месяцев назад

English teachers having a feast on this song oml

@xPrincessGarnetXVI 10 месяцев назад

@@FishieFishFosh my thoughts exactly lol

@briar2603 10 месяцев назад

also at the end she breaks out of it too!! honestly it was kinda funny to hear at first because of all this amazing poetry and metaphors and stuff and then suddenly "24/7 baby machine" but it really makes sense if you analyze it. she seems so done at the end.

@ladyofrillwater Год назад

Some things I noticed about this video: She's well-groomed, well dressed, her hair is done and her makeup beautiful. By contrast, he's dressed down and comparatively slovenly. He eats in a messy, brutish way in front of her, tearing at things with his hands despite the beautifully made table setting. Yet when she does the same, he's at first awkward and then irritated. He notices she's upset, but doesn't care. It's not until she snaps and is open and blunt and abrasive about it that he responds, and even then he only squirms and refuses to meet her eyes.

@untitledgaming9081 Год назад

Here’s another thing to notice. When the camera shows her from the front, she has candles all around her and he has very few candles around him when the camera shows him from the front showing how much she has to do vs how much he has to do

@starsilent9961 Год назад

That last line of the paragraph. When I finally get angry and confront my abuser with the truths and proof of his abhorrent behavior he can never meet my gaze. Like he's ashamed. Good he should be.

@Firsona Год назад

I've lived this. Supposed to do it all and be perfect through it. Validate, support, comfort, fix. And in the end, he refused to change anything. He doesn't want it different. It's comfortable and pleasant for him. Just enough to quiet you for now..until it can't be quieted any more.

@rebecca4096 Год назад

He poisoned her, his ring is a ring that holds poison. When he is turning it, it shows he is wearing one. He is posieneing the food by reaching across the table. She is conditioned by him and automatically messes with her ring nervously and then he hits the glass and she goes to attended to the table, like she is conditioned to do but instead sits down and eats the food. As soon as she starts eating he stops and hangs his head because he knows what he has done. The camera pans back to her at the end and she is gone because she fell to the floor, poisoned. My husband pointed this out to me because he said he use to have a ring just like it.

@sharonagresta-siekerman8601 Год назад

@@rebecca4096 how could she be poisoned if she ate the pomegranate??

@fragolaimmatura 2 месяца назад

I’m crying, this represents what my mom, me and my sister are living through. I love this song but it breaks me

@danitasandoval6 4 месяца назад

This song feels like listening to my mother's story as well as my grandma's story because they share eerily similar stories

@lindaramirez1234 Месяц назад

Agree 💯 I saw my grandmother and her daughter and sister go through this and vow to never get married. Next time someone says why I don't get married I'll show them this video

@MollyKewl 8 месяцев назад

Me: unmarried, child free and financially stable. Relating so hard to this song for some reason and glad to my fore-mothers for giving me a chance to escape the drudgery.

@moneypowerglory. 8 месяцев назад

we broke the wheel, our mothers and us.

@aubreyaubrey5193 7 месяцев назад

Happiness in slavery then?

@lexa2310 6 месяцев назад

Yeah. If the sufragettes hadnt been so loud and extreme for their time we probably wouldnt have halve the freedom we have now.

@lexa2310 6 месяцев назад

@@aubreyaubrey5193No. Thats why womens-liberation was such an Important thing.

@Abby-gx4qi 6 месяцев назад

@@aubreyaubrey5193 what feels like slavery for you may not feel that way for someone else. I'm a housewife and I love it but I totally understand why people wouldn't choose it. Everyone should have a right to choose how they spend their life.

@lectia4091 8 месяцев назад

“For someone who I thought was my savior, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour.” Hits hard when your with somebody who promised to take you out of your misery but ends up traumatizing you just as the same or even worse.

@mary5177 7 месяцев назад

much love and healing!!!

@hazelhope5646 7 месяцев назад

its just trading one jail for another.

@DarthFurie 6 месяцев назад

I know exactly what you mean. Wishing you freedom, I'll have mine soon❤

@lectia4091 5 месяцев назад

@@DarthFurie thanks and Dw you will just hold on ❤️❤️

@flawedsanity 5 месяцев назад

It hits home very hard for me too. All my life I've just traded one horrific situation for another, it seems. Wishing freedom and peace to everyone in the comments - I hope I will get mine soon.