The last time I saw Paul, we drank Old Monk rum, Pauls’ favorite, and read poetry. Paul had brought a poetry book by Mijak to read. We had started to have poetry meetings about 2 years back because I wanted to have something uplifting to discuss when we enjoyed a drink So we read and discussed poetry and also sections from his book of ghazals which he was now making good progress with. We finished our session and as we were leaving he asked me if I wanted an ice cream, he always loved ice cream, and I said, no thank you, but I would like to borrow one hundred rupees so that I could buy a beer to take home. He easily loaned me the 100 rupees.
However, my motorcycle would not start, so I needed to jump start it, so Paul gave me a running push on the motorcycle from behind, and it started and I had the urge to look back and say “Thank you, goodbye, Jai Baba”, and yet because there was traffic in front of me and because I did not want the motorbike to stall, I suppressed that urge to look back and say goodbye and I felt it acutely, surprising me in its unnaturalness and strangeness to not say goodbye, and yet perhaps it was because there are no goodbyes.
Paul was the one person who delivered the best critiques and comments on my films. He could appreciate details that others did not see. One day in early April 2020, during the worst part of the pandemic scare, when I was quarantined and did not see anyone for a month. Paul called me to tell me that I had made my best film to date. I had just released it on RU-vid, entitled The Final Embrace. Paul saw it and said it was my best film because I portrayed the core of all poetic expression which was the drama between lover and Beloved.
He was very intelligent, he could speak Hindi, and also knew computer programming, he played the guitar very well, yet few people knew that about him, and yet his character was so open and outgoing and friendly that this intelligence was not apparent. It was hidden behind his fun loving, clownish interactions with others. He will be remembered for his photography. But I will remember him as someone whom I could share my deepest thoughts with. And I will remember him the next time I have an Old Monk and look forward to seeing him again in some form or another when I can repay him the 100 rupees and thank him for the push - the support- from behind, to get me on the road again.
Paul passed away from us on February 19th 2021
12 окт 2024
