Pediatricians Debunk 16 Myths About Raising Kids 

Strict parents raise the sneakiest kids, some of y’all hate to hear it

Strict parents raise kids who are much happier when they, the parents are not in the house.

just an extra tip for parents out there: never tell your kid to stop crying. it doesn't work, the more they try to stop the harder the tears will pour and you're only teaching them to bottle up their emotions. just let them cry it out, it doesn't matter how stupid their reason for crying might seem to you. clearly it's not stupid to them and they need to be allowed to process their emotions at their own pace

I have been criticized for allowing my 8 year old nephew be at the bedside when his mother died. He and I both held her hand and said we love you, find peace, we love you. We never really talked about it until he was grown, but as an adult he did tell me that it was easier to let her go because he literally saw the life go out of her.

If I ever have children, and they do something wrong, big or small, I want them to think " i need to tell my dad " instead of " my dad is gonna kill me "

There are two types of people who are watching this video: The people who come here to improve their own parenting skins vs teenagers and adults who will watch this video to find out what their parents did wrong.

After having my first child, I noticed that he was a person from the very beginning. His personality, preferences. I can't understand why a lot of parents treat children like they don't matter until 18.

Was told I'm not allowed to question my parent's motives or reasons for anything. Whenever I've had performance issues at work I get told by managers "if you're not sure just ask" or "ask lots of questions so you can learn". I'm 40 and still working on this one.

Claim: "My father used to hit me all the time and I turned out just fine" Counter-argument: You're an adult hurting a child because you can't use dialogue. How is that fine?

"Because I said so" is the worst. If YOU're the only reason to not to stick the fork in the light socket, guess what the child will do when YOU leave the room

If you use violence and hostility when your child makes a mistake, they will not go to you in times of need and will try to resolve situations themselves, which may obviously make things worse.

honestly its amazing how many problems with kids get solved once you calm down and explain to them why the behavior they have is wrong as opposed to just immediately going for punishment

“because i said so” is one of the easiest ways to lose respect from your child

Strict parents raise children who know how to listen for the foot steps of someone coming towards you 4 rooms away and quietly but quickly hide their phone and pretend to be asleep Edit: time fr just flies away, this comment is exactly 1 year old and has 12,000+ likes, thx lol

About the strictness myth: my parents were never strict with my brother and I about the little things- bedtimes, clearing our plates at dinner; and when we got older, the clothes we could wear, whether we could dye our hair or wear makeup or get a nose ring or have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and we could have a beer or glass of wine with our family. The result is two kids with college degrees that we got by working multiple jobs, who have healthy relationships with food and alcohol, who were honest with our parents about sex, who didn’t pierce our belly buttons with a sewing needle at a sleepover or lie to our parents we were at sleepovers but instead at parties binge drinking, like a lot of our peers. Our parents went away for the weekend a couple times in high school and we never had one party. They’d come home on Sunday to the place clean and we’d maybe have a couple classmates over for a group project or watch movies with friends. My mom let me get a nose ring after a lot of research and having me think about it for over a month to ensure it wasn’t a rash decision, and we went to a reputable piercer. In contrast, I knew a lot of girls who were piercing their friend’s and their own noses, lips, and belly buttons at sleepovers and getting crazy infections. I never hid that I was having sex as a 17 year old with my 17 year old boyfriend because I didn’t need to. My mom taught me honestly and frankly about safe sex and healthy relationships. Meanwhile, I knew 15-16 year old girls who secretly dated 20 year olds for years in really controlling, unsafe relationships without telling their parents because they were forbidden from dating or having sex. If their parents fostered an environment of honesty, their daughters would tell them that they had boyfriends that age and the parents could talk about healthy relationships & explain why that kind of age gap with a kid is harmful, even if it doesn’t feel that way to the 15 year old. My brother and I never felt the need to rebel in dangerous ways because we were given trust and freedom. But a lot of our friends went wild when they got to college because things like parties, all-nighters, piercings, unhealthy food, beer, and boys were the forbidden fruit.

as someone who was spanked throughout my childhood and told stuff like "I'll give u a reason to cry" frequently, it did indeed make it worse lol

lesson: always learn to be decent adult first before being a parent.

pediatricians explaining common sense for 13 minutes straight

there's a psychologist near where I live and she said that when her son misbehaves or things like that, she throws anything at him that is near her, like books, tv remotes and even vases... I have absolutely no idea how she got her license or how she can treat her kid like this

The "I turned out fine" argument is always amusing, cause if you think violence is gonna solve your problem- you clearly have some issues you gotta deal with

Fun Fact: Being unreasonably strict to your kid will often* only make them sneaky and good at telling lies :)

“Don’t tell me how to raise my kids!!!” -A bad parent

I don’t understand how someone could defend beating a kid especially with a belt or spoon. If they’re really that bad teach what they’re doing wrong, figure out where they learned it from, and work with them on it. Beating your kids only teaches them it’s okay to beat others and to fear you. I hate when kids tell their parents the truth and the parent says “don’t talk back to me” or “you’re the kid I’m the adult” like me telling you that you’re being abusive to me isn’t talking back it’s spilling facts Also don’t tell your kids to not cry Idc if you think it’s not important it’s better to let your kids process their emotions then bottle them up because that creates unstable adults.

DUDE! MYTH 2 MESSED WITH ME SO BADLY! I was spanked when I was a child, and when she said that it builds fear and can cause the child to lie, I did that a lot, and sadly it’s something I still struggle with as an adult (not just with my parents, but with others). It’s been a contributing factor in how badly my relationships have failed, how many jobs I’ve lost, and more. And Myth 3 is just the cherry on top of that.

Strict parents raise good liars with anxiety

About 99% of the worlds parents don’t believe a word y’all saying, which is so sad.

My parents were the right kind of strict. We had some hard rules about our health (eg. No cheetos), some flexible rules for important thing (we had to study, but there was no penalty for bad grades) and nothing was enforced with violence.

I think it's important to remember that your child is not your subordinate who is carelessly misbehaving. A child is a real baby human with a raw an immature nervous system that needs to be supported and loved while they grow and encounter life's challenges

All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids.

*Actual people with experiences in the field giving advices on how to raise a good human being* Parents: "I pretend i do not see it"

The spanking thing makes me so angry at my parents. Everything set them off and it didn't help that I have ADHD. So not only was I getting picked on at school and people were taking advantage of the fact that my mom worked there and telling her false things so I'd get in trouble, I'd also get pushed around too. I got "punished" every day because of those kids and because of that my mom always thought I was lying, which eventually became something I actually did because I gave up on her believing me. I remember my dad blamed me for moving something personal to her and kept insisting that I moved them and I literally had to lie so I wouldn't get punished. My mom told him she was the one who moved it. I got punished anyway because I lied No apologies or anything

i realized just now being a child that endured mental torture from my parents: I'm not totally ready to physically, mentally, and emotionally commit myself to raise kids in case i get married. but it's great to know all these info and I'd love to know more.

Strict parents make their children’s lives joyless and left feeling empty.

Unsurprisingly, when you treat kids like human beings that can learn and reason they end up being better human beings. You can’t expect someone to respect you if you disrespect them, kids aren’t that stupid.

Mom: "I can tell something's wrong. Just say it, you can tell me anything." Me: "So yesterday I didn't like it when you-" Mom: "That wasn't a big deal, get over yourself."

Psychologists: *gives a detailed and well narrated explanation on why spanking children is bad* Parents: how about no

More traumatized children are watching this video than actual parents.

" a slap on the bottom nver hurt anyone" slapping is literally a form of hurting someone

As a woman in her mid 20s with anxiety, I really appreciate these videos. The thought of raising humans is scary even though it's something I want to do. The baby myth video and this one really just confirmed things I already suspected about childcare, and I appreciate the reassurance that I might have an inkling of an idea of what direction I should go in with my future children (and that it's okay that I haven't figure out the rest). Thank you.

I was on the receiving end of some brutal beatings as a kid. I was always up to no good if you know what I mean. Anyway , I would say in my experience from the age of 12-25 years old I lacked empathy for others & I was always ready to fight anyone at any moment. It took a while to get out of that mentality. I’m 36 years old now it doesn’t effect me these days but I wouldnt recommend beating your children , it doesn’t work.

This video is a personal attack on my mom and dad's parenting skills

Me: Doesn't plan to have any kids Also Me: Take note, take note

My two-year-old is absolutely bonkers, but she’s the sweetest kid I could’ve ever asked for. She’s almost always smiling and cheerful. Every time she smiles at me and my husband, I hope that I can be the parent she needs.

My Moms Fiancé somehow never realized his parents fought behind closed doors when he was a kid. My mother had to get them to tell him they did for him to believe her. It was a huge problem for them because he thought fighting meant the relationship was failing because he hadn’t seen it before

The myth about "you end up parenting like your parents" is one I hope I never fall into. Yes, there's good and bad but I definitely don't want to copy the bad

"Parenting comes naturally" ..yup, just like driving cars and open heart surgery.

Alot of these can really be applied to teenagers as well. Sometimes when people thing Pediatrician or child development, they tend to think pre-teens and toddlers and completely forgetting and not try to understand teenagers too. Its the awkward middle ground from adult to child

"Sitting close to the TV does not damage vision" Ophtalmologist here: Yes it kind of does, there's a reason why Pseudo-Myopia cases are rising, convergence issues are also likely, not only that, but constant exposure to light, specially blue light that screens give off may disrupt the child's circadian rhythm. It may not be permanent damage (yet), but it is damage. Don't let your kid (or anyone really) sit closer than 60cm (2 feet) from the screen. And as the lady said, if you notice your kid constantly getting close to the TV schedule an appointment with the OD or opthalmology as they might need glasses

the worst one is "you're too young to understand" and then they have the audacity to say "why don't you get it?"

Me a 19 year old with no plans of having children any time soon: “Perfect just the video I need” Edit: uh holy crap I didn’t think this would get so many peoples attention lmao! I just turned 21 on Monday and in a few weeks I’m getting hysterectomy (tmi but for uterine tumors) by my own choice and I’m really excited. I still have no desire for children (obviously) so that’s where I’m at if anyone cares haha.

Myth 15 is something that hits home. Grew up with tiger parents. The last thing I want for my kids, if I do have any, is to make them feel oppressed and stuck like I did. Actually scared of having kids because I fear I'll end up like my parents and raise my kids all authoritarian and strict af, making them feel that same depressing feeling of oppression I felt.

"I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine." Is something i've heard, almost exclusively, from people who I would not describe as 'fine'.

What strict parents teach us: 1. Who's foot steps are who's 2. How to manipulate an angry parent into calming down 3. where to hide 4. How to make something seem a lot more educational than it is (think telling parents that a friend hang-out is for studying) 5. (From -Mary-) how to come up with a full cover story in 3 seconds flat

It’s like how the old Chinese philosophy asks: Does respect come better when you are feared or loved ?

The kids need protection 24/7 myth is really hard for parents to understand because they have the instinct to protect their children. When I was little I had a hard time stopping before I crossed the road so my mom and I made up a song that was longer than "stop look and listen before you cross the street " and I would sing the crossing the street song every time I was going to cross the street and I stopped stepping into traffic. Most things can be fixed without suffocating your kids if you are creative enough

Myth 13: my parents only praised my achievements, never my efforts. And I suffered greatly once my grades started to drop, as it was a bad cycle where i never felt good enough, lost even more motivation and got even worse grades. I have been trying to do the oposite with my sister(11years younger), praising her efforts. I've tried to tell her "wow, i see you worked hard on this" when she does well, and when she fails i still praise her attempts. She entered a competition and didn't win. I praised her for how she did, but also the fact that she even joined the competition. I want her to never give up like I did. I have so many regrets, and I know it sounds petty but it is true when I say it's due to how my parents raised me. They made it clear then, and even now, that I'm only as good as my achievements. I can't change them or my past, but I can protect my sister by showing her she always have someone on her side regardless of her achievements.

whoa it's almost like children are people or something.

The sad thing is more kids are probably watching this tryna see if they’re raised good when the parents should be watching it..

My mum was and still is an amazing mother. She did all of these things and so much more for me. She’s my best friend, and a piece of me. I’m watching this hoping that one day I’ll be a mum too, and hopefully make her proud of the skills I got from her.

I was afraid of my parents. I didnt care about the teachers, principal, or even the police, I was more concerned about what my parents would say and do if I got in trouble. It's not like they hit me or mistreated me, it was just the way they would freak out and they had so much power over me (as all parents do), that's what really terrified me. I turned out very horribly in the end.

Me, who's still technically a child watching this: I have decided I will raise myself

Four phrases I hate from my parents “I didn’t take your electronic privileges, you lost them” “I don’t owe you an answer” “If you don’t put in work for school you will apply that laziness to other jobs and end up homeless” “The keyword there is feelings. Your feelings lie to you” That last one mostly hurts cuz I know my feelings are irrational sometimes, I don’t need you to tell me that, I need you to help me understand and get through it.

growing up, i used to have a step dad who would beat me for almost anything. One day, after i'd moved in with my biological father instead, we were frustrated with each other and so i threw something across the room. my dad stormed up to me, cornered me, raised his hand to strike me, and froze. he sighed, looked down at himself, and immediately apologized. "I will NOT hit you." he said, still obviously furious at me. he never raised his hand like that again. he never hit me. i think maybe him being within a second of striking me and then stopping himself is what showed me that he wasn't scary. he would protect me from everything, even his own anger.

Fighting in front of children really depends. It's going to happen, but how you handle arguments makes the difference. It's either going to model healthy conflict management or unhealthy patterns. It's worth learning more about how to communicate effectively with your partner so you can demonstrate that to your child even in moments of anger.

biggest myths in parenting: - mother knows best - “i wont get mad if you tell me the truth”

Strict parents raise well-behaved kids. False. Strict parents raise sneaky kids.

People always think I’m lying when I say me and my children don’t get into that many arguments even when they make absolute horrible choices😅 Truth is I had to go through physical and emotional trauma as a child and teen and I always told my parents I’d be different and I kept my word.

Spanking has caused some Anxiety and depression and even bottled up emotions for me. My mom probably thinks it works but I'm usually in my room afraid to be myself around her so I don't get yelled at or hit. It makes children more afraid of you then feel safe around you. Kids are scared to talk to parents about personal issues because the parent may hit them so they keep experiencing these issues which may lead up to anxiety or depression. Stop treating the young generation as if their not humans, as they don't deserve it. Also I was also raised as a people pleaser. I'm afraid of saying no.

*“Strict parents raise well-behaved kids.”* If that isn’t the funniest joke I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is!

Parents: “They dont give you a manual to raising children” Literal Parenting Genres: *Am I a joke to you?*

"My parents hit me and I turned out fine." Really? You think using violence and causing pain is 'fine'?

"A slap on the bottom never hurt anyone" is 100% true for my life. My parents gave up on it after they realized it wasn't working and my behavior was getting worse. (It didn't help matters that I took it much harder when they did the same to my sister, which was rare.) Shortly after they stopped, I actually started behaving better! Until they threatened to destroy *my sister's* toys if I didn't behave. I went full ODD after that because WTF EDIT: For clearer understanding, I had ADHD and my parents believed I could get over it if I just "tried hard enough". No, actually, I never did.

bruh getting hit as a child has never taught me anything it just made me fearful of my parents...

Kids deserve respect too. If you constantly belittle them or their ideas or ignore them, they will let anyone not respect them too, and they won’t know their worth!

My parents weren’t smart enough to break the cycle of generational trauma so I will. I will love my kids one day a million times better than I had. I will do all the healing.

My parents strategy was definitely corporal punishment for most of mine and my siblings young lives, and yeah we became excellent at hiding things and lying. My brother, at like 12yrs old, ate something my mom was saving as a gift for someone and straight up knew to frame me so he wouldn't get the heat--he friggin "hid" the packaging in my room.

easiest solution to every child related problem: don't have kids at all

Sugar doesn't make kids high. Elmers glue makes kids high.

So glad to see the "shield your children from loss they'll find out about anyway" debunked here. You're not protecting them, you're giving them false hope and delaying their healing process, making them suffer even more for no reason. Also, yes, authoritative rules are a great way to get kids to not respect you (speaking as someone who couldn't respect those adults who didn't feel the need to respect me, and started openly "talking back"/rebelling against them), but everyone here is already talking about that, and strict/abusive parents in general lol

Oh wait, really! Treating kids like real people helps them grow into stong, independent adults?! No one ever told me that?!

Parents : why you don’t talk to us do you hate us? Also them : *critique everything I do and everything I like*

I gaurentee you most people watching this are not parents...

I hate how some parents think they can do whatever they want, yes they kinda can but they need to know that there is a limit. I’ve been neglected by my parents for a long time and it sucks being the only child neglected by them. When I expressed my feelings to them they said “you will grow up and live in a small box inside a mental hospital”. That broke me, never say shit like that to your own child. No matter the reason that is absolutely wrong. I can’t help the way I am so I just hid my feelings and never told them anything, and then they ask why I don’t trust them, yeah I wonder why? They were never there for me when I was younger, it was always my Tito and my grandma taking care of me. My dad was always away on business trips and when he comes back he makes me happy then he violates my privacy👏Great job, My mom left me when I was born so I’m living with my (2nd) stepmom. They can be fun sometimes but then they ruin the moment. But I try and make myself and my siblings happy and now I have so much support from my friends (who now want to stalk my parents😬) I’m not good at explaining so if some things sound off that’s probably why

My wife and I discussed it and decided that we would spank. I consulted my parents and some older parents that also spanked to try to formulate a technique. Ultimately, my wife and eye decided that spanking would be reserved for instances in which our kids might be in physical danger, i.e. running into the street, playing with anything sharp, etc. With our oldest son we had to expand that to deal with patterns of misbehavior. That said, we always explained why they got a spanking and how important it was they learned the lesson we underlined with the spanking. Spanking in general stopped with all out kids by age 5. We never really used it much and every kid is different. We found other ways to discipline the kids that were far more effective.

"I wAs SpAnKeD aNd I tUrNeD oUt FiNe" Every time i hear a parent say this it lets me know that they have absolutely no patience, they have no desire to connect to their children in a healthy and emotional way and that they plainly abuse a child and justify it.

all the people disliking this are Karen's that hate people telling her that she's raising her baby wrong

"Strict parents raise good liars" This sentence stuck to me cause it's so goddamn true

Yes! Praise your kids for working hard, challenging themselves, persevering, and asking for help when they need it instead of praising them for how well they did.

im not even a parent and i kinda wanna teach my parents how to parent

Huh you mean that abusing children isn't the best way to raise them? Who'd have thunk it

My parents and teachers always were angry at me because my notes weren't good but never asked me if I was ok, I almost committed a suicide, school just ruined me.

That sheltering children from loss got me. I was sheltered from the losses of my grandparents, but I think I knew what was actually going on. My grandmother died at the kitchen table, and we were still there throughout the process of bringing her back, so sheltering us from the burial process was just a choice. I think it would depend on the child. If they understand what is going on, let them in on the processes, if they are not sure, maybe explain in a matter of fact way what happens.

Me a 16 year old, childless at 2am: Perfect

I was raised being told that I was a really good student and that I was so smart because I was praised for the outcome. Now I'm an adult and have no work ethic because I never learned the value of putting in effort.

Starts with school, education at a young age should be focused on soft skills, learning to understand one's feeling to control those emotions, and critical thinking skills. Learning these tools at a young age can help in breaking/avoiding the family pathology because the child is more aware on there actions and the action of others.

"I was spanked as a kid and I turned out okay!" No you didn't. You turned out thinking hitting someone you love to solve your anger problems is okay. You're absolutely not fine.

Some boomer somewhere: THE OLD WAY WAS BETTER BECAUSE THEN YOU COULD BEAT RESPECT INTO THEM! I TURNED OUT FINE! GIVE ME RESPECT OR I'LL BEAT YOU

Weird that they never discussed the fact that spanking has negative effects on the *child* as well as the parent. It’s classifiable as physical abuse, and I don’t say that lightly-it’s a serious thing. There are real consequences for the child’s development. Also, I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think any parent who becomes so emotionally rattled by their child’s behavior that they can’t help getting physical shouldn’t be a parent.

My mom is strict. I have no freedom, and the rule that I hate the most is not being allowed to have social media. I’m in my late teens, above 13, and I’m still not allowed to. Even if I’m safe about it. The people I care about the most are on it. The ones who care about me, who I can’t lose. I was caught with Instagram in 2020 and was grounded. I slept the entire time, and for the short times I was awake, I cried. I never got my phone back, or a new one, so I use an iPod. With my severe anxiety, it’s stuck with me. Ranging from panicking when anyone mentions anything technical about me (idk how to explain it, but if it has to do anything with my iPod), to having frequent nightmares about it. But my mom is just possessive. I constantly have to lie to her. My anxiety has gotten much worse, and I’ve become manipulative. Also can’t forget how emotionally exhausted I always am because of her. She thinks she raised me right, but she actually ruined me. Thanks, mom

Tip: if you say no, give an explanation! Don’t just say “because I said so”. I feel like kids are more likely to go behind your back if you don’t give them a reason for your rejection because they don’t understand WHY you’re saying no. If you tell them the reason why, they might even agree with you as it will make more sense to them since you explained it