Michigan female here- I delivered my last child in a coma that was courtesy of my husband. Yes, I went home with him, played kissy kissy, went to dinner with him- that kind of thing. It looks 14 weeks for me to arrange my leaving. He went to work on day, I called to make sure he was there, grabbed the credit cards that I got in my name, the cash I had been hoarding, grabbed the diaper bag, my purse and baby and left. I took a greyhound. By the time he walked in after work, I was in St. Louis. Didn't know a soul there. But I was gone.
I can't imagine the story ended when you left. Did you have to stop contact with friends/family to stay safe and keep your location confidential? Did the dad try to find you or take steps to fight you in court to see the baby?
As a survivor myself, I was thinking that exact same thing. I'm really glad that Judge Boyd is still continuing to protect her and make him do classes. My ex had to do an entire year of batterers treatment, and that still didn't stop him from abusing me, even during those classes. I didn't know exactly what had happened because that was with his ex-wife. Now, his ex-wife and I talk regularly because we have children from him (I have one, and she has 2) and we want them to have the best relationship they can. It's crazy how manipulative an abuser can be. I ended up having a DVPO for just shy of 9 years (I didn't renew it in July 2023 because he had been acting very different for a while and was keeping his distance... now he's back to being a d*ck when it comes to co-parenting, but at least he stays away from me and hasn't been putting our daughter in the middle, so hopefully that will continue). I actually got my Concealed Carry in 2018 because of him and being a single mom and knowing how long it could take for 911 to arrive (from past experience). I know a piece of paper won't protect my life or my daughter's... I really hope this woman was being honest that he wasn't abusive previously, but having been through it and learned a lot working with other victims/survivors, I have a hard time believing that. 😢 Take care everyone! _(sorry for such a long comment)_
@goose7574 I would get pepper spray or a Bryna pepper ball gun. I would hate to see you end up having someone shot. He could overpower you, and you could end up killed. Get another protective order and stay away. People really only change for the moment and then go back to their true selves. God be with you and your family
@@arh1234 you can ABSOLUTELY tell he is not disabled to the point where he’s unable to work I’ve met countless people like him, if he is disabled to the point where he doesn’t understand right from wrong as he stated it’s a HEAD injury not a physical (motability ) impairment, then he LACKS CALACITY is a danger to others around HIM and needs 24/7 support in the community, he’s just a violent manipulator who’s manipulating SSR. He will have told SSR he suffers memory loss, brain fog, ect, it’s NOT PHYSICAL damage of a prefrontal cortex’s ect. They’d be X-rays/proof, yet in court he proved he is capable, he understands his sentence, can read directions coherently, he is NOT unable to work a mediocre job. WAY MORE DISABLED PEOPLE DO. So many men like him get SICK of work have a minor accident and make it more severe then it is. Disability pays better than their low entry position or gives them additional freedoms.
🤨🫵OK SO HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TREAT THE ONE PERSON WHO LOVE'S U LIKE CRAP..AND BEAT THREATEN AND STRANGER THEM.. PLUS U DONT HAVE ANY WHERE ELSE TO GO..AND YOUR DISABLED...THAT'S JUST RIDICULOUS TO ME.. HOPEFULLY THE VICTIM WAKES UP AND KNOWS HER WORTH BEFORE IT'S TO LATE👈🤦
Excellent advice! I suggest that they also contact someone to make sure they have a safe place to go right from the home - whether a relative or a shelter. And any support people out there... keep the victim busy & feeling strong! Understand that it's scary to leave & it's tempting for the victim to go back. Please try to talk her through it.
Suggesting it happened because of her own inattention is a way to take power back retroactively...and currently. If she allowed it to happen, then she can always pay closer attention and protect herself. I say this not to lay blame, or to "read minds", but because I lived it, decades ago.
Anyone else noticing the titles being a little clickbaity? There was no real "clashing." That lawyer didn't really fight with the judge. He just reiterated what he thought or hoped, what he was really pushing for his client. But there was no disrespect between the judge and the lawyer.
She says she is a nurse and that he is showing symptoms of mental illness, but where then is the report that they got him treatement for that, there are meds to control it. Where is the report that they have gone to couples counselling all these months. That they are nurses is a red flag because they know exactly the treatments and supports out there but they did NOT persue it. Worrying.
As a victim of DV I understand how badly I was manipulated. When my colleagues in the ER called the police about my multiple injuries. I PLEADED with cops not to arrest him. He was a professor and was handcuffed in front of his class.
Angery people need to be sent for anger management at the least. My ex blacked both my eyes and broke my nose, while driving me to work. it came out of nowhere we had NO issues before it. My boss rang round the company we worked for and had me transfer to a new location the next day, it was a live in job and he went with me to collect my belongings I was so thankful for his actions and stayed friends until he passed
I really didn't appreciate the way the husband in the first one was hunching with his head down, looking up, trying to make himself look small and harmless. I'm happy that Judge Boyd didn't fall for it.
This lady needs to rethink her choice of spouses. Once violent always violent. My mother was murdered by her caregiver, and we were not informed of her crimes.
She’s been a HHP for 10 years but has also been a drug addict 🤔. Ooofff, she has no business! I love that this judge does not allow them to be home healthcare providers.
This Judge is absolutely GOLDEN!!! What gems 💎 of wisdom Judge Boyd gives!! This husband has a bit of evil showing, There's something with him that is just off with him. She made the best decision!!
Say nothing and make your plans, stash every dime you can. Leave no paper trail. As soon as the opportunity comes, GO & GO fast. Don’t look back. Don’t let the thoughts of “coulda, shoulda, woulda”. You are NOT to blame for someone else’s violent behavior. Leaving with 3 small children was the scariest, best decision I ever made.
I was married for 33 years. I told my then husband I wanted a divorce because I couldn't take his Mother anymore and him for not taking up for me. Also he was abusive during our marriage. Well telling him I wanted a divorce didn't turn out too well. He kidnapped me, used a stun gun on me, then put a gun to my head and I had to agree to everything he said so he wouldn't shoot me. When he went to sleep, I called the cops and when they knocked on the door, I opened it and there were 4 sheriffs on their knees with guns drawn. Needless to say, they went and got him out of bed. I now have PTSD from it and I despise him and his Mom.
Yikes! There's NO reason anyone should treat another person like this ass-wit (can I say that? It's loads tamer than what I want to call him). Focus on healing your wounds and moving forward with your new life (yeah, I know it's trite commentary from an interned stranger). I really do wish you nothing but the best going forward.
Choking is way of the rails. Just getting mad and slapping a person is bad, but to get that point where you are hands around throat, face to face and you are choking that person, whoa, that's pretty bad. 😮
Idle hands breed criminality a lot of the time. He may very well have a disability but he certainly seems like he should be able to do some sort of work to keep him occupied.
It's an easy way to get a stable income on top of whatever criminal activity they do. Working in a prison, you would see inmates doing pushups, pull-ups, playing handball, jogging around track and when they go up for their parole hearing a large number of them would claim physical disability or mental disability. Taxpayers get hosed .
I agree with the Judge on the notarized letters. To many elderly people are abused and even killed by people that can’t even keep from abusing themselves let alone those around them
"A person involved in a domestic violence attack of choking or strangulation is more than 750% more likely to be killed by their offender in the next year, according to Gail Starr, clinical coordinator for Albuquerque Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners." (copied from google). The wife needs counselling and so does he.
I guarantee her supervisor and the one(s) she's doing home health care for don't know her history. She'll probably have to find a different job to do. I sure wouldn't leave a vulnerable family member alone with her given her history with violence and substance abuse.
Yeah, no kidding. Just imagine yourself as a helpless elderly person being asked to sign a letter informing you the agency wants to send a violent offender with a history of drug abuse to change your diapers and cook your meals. No thanks!
The worst part about her probation won’t be the actual probation but having to go to her boss and patients with her criminal record and needing notarized letters. I don’t know about Texas but when I worked in healthcare as a medic and RT if we got arrested we had to report it to the employer and state board. Then you had to meet with the state to see if you get to keep your healthcare license or certification!
Good call on the husband. The very fact that she took all the blame for the fight “I had been inattentive” is indicative how abusive he is. “I choked you because you’re not taking care of my manhood”
Leave him!! My daughter is a victim of domestic violence! He started yelling, then choking- then putting a gun in her mouth in front of her three year old child! Thank God she left him! I’m sure this guy here has abused this woman in the past. Unfortunately, the abuser always twist the situation to put the blame on the victim!! She needs some serious counseling! My daughter went through counseling and has never wanted to go back to her abuser!!
@@810austin yes it is!!! My daughter was very young when she hooked up with her abuser! He was seven years older than she was. We would hear that because she was so young , it’s twice as difficult for her to leave. It wasn’t until he started to abuse her in front of her daughter, and her daughter started screaming and was so traumatized- that she said enough! It wasn’t easy but she pushed through!
I cannot for the life of me understand what that lawyer thinks he is wearing. It is just incredible, does he not have anyone to talk to him about how that looks?
Ty ty Ty Judge❤ As a nurse who sees neglect too much ty for mandating that the defendant put in writing what she has done, and have the family/patient sign it! You are so right people hire sometimes just anyone instead of going through an agency be cause it's so expensive. I know there are caregivers that work free lance and are awesome! But there has to be some form of boundaries. To the defendant, we all screw up, keep her head up, and doing the right thing.❤️🙏
I lived this woman’s life. She was definitely Threatened to let the Charges Be Dropped…. I was there. He laid hands on me (also choke hold)… I threw him in jail after the Police took pictures of my bruises and fled for my life 😢… He was fighting cancer. I came back/after 3 months to look after him. He died in November 2023. Still looking over my shoulders 7 months later. He also was a Mommy’s Boy 🤡👺👿 Ladies… Get Out!!!
Domestic violence doesn’t have to be daily, if they do it once it will happen again.. years apart. My mom was pregnant with my older brother her ex husband, punched her in the stomach, Kicking her down the stairs. it didn’t cause any harm to the pregnancy luckily, she’s lost her front teeth well most of her teeth. He never hit her again, until the first birthday. if you look at the pictures my mum with her son her first child on his first birthday she has black eyes. She left when she met my dad they’ve been married 39 years now’s. Zero DV
@@gracejohnson789what is a discarded carpeting? I am Norwegian so I can use google to translate but so many times. The translate is so wrong it’s crazy. When our children went to school the teachers told them they can’t use google because of the translate problem. It’s so bad so many time. If I could have moved me head I had done it so many times. I will wish you a lovely day from me in Norway😀
@@hildeknarvik2440 Carpet is a large floor covering; like a rug but it covers entire floors in every room a person wishes to put it in their home, so they don't walk on the bare floor. Some people prefer to have carpet in every room of their homes here in America. When it gets old or the person gets tired of having it in their home, they remove it and throw it out which is to discard. It's usually old carpet......In America, majority of people have carpet in their homes. Most rental apartments also have carpet in all rooms. The ones who have carpet have to make sure to keep it clean by using a carpet shampooing machine or else it will get very dirty and smell..... I hope I explained myself well. It's so good chatting with you even for just a tiny bit. You are far away but we are able to communicate thanks to the internet. I hope you are having a great day and hello to you all the way from America; actually I'm visiting Mexico right now for a bit. Hello from Mexico also..... I'm from Texas though, Abilene Texas. Nice chatting with you on here😀🙂
@@gracejohnson789 hello again thank you so much for you answer. I know what a carpet is. I can’t have them they make so much dust I get so sick from it. Me husband and I was in Hawaii in 2000. The trawell took in total 24 ours. But we are talking about to trawell back next year. But maybe we will trawell to another place. Because I heard from a friend in Norway that when she was there. Everything was for people from Japan. When we was there last time. There was holiday in Japan it felt that everyone of them was at Waikiki beach. I have been to so many places but I want to go back to a place like that. But I know that so much are burned down. One of me friends want me to trawell with her to Africa. It cost a lot to go there so I am not sure that I can do it. I have been to Afrika to times before different places with me friend. It’s so beautifull there. Me friend taikes a lot of stuff with her and gives to the poor. She works at her hair salon with the worst MS you can ever have. She is so strong everytime she faal and she need to go to the hospital or not. She makes fun from it. I will wish you a lovely day. You can send me e-mail if you want.😊
You know so something i find really odd? The criminal is given counselling but the victim? Nada. I just watched a parole review for a man who sexually abused his own daughter for years and she was never offered counselling. I get that part of the prison process is rehabilitation, but it seems like they are protected in so many ways while the victim is left to get on with it. Very sad.
I was speculating based on what we do have, but not for what would necessarily hold up in a court of law. Not every speculation must meet the standards of a trial in a court of law. We have her statements attempting to defend him and trying to take the blame. This typically does not occur if this was the first time. It points to an ongoing situation.
Hey Wife. Wake up. You are being abused. Choking is not acceptable -EVER. None of this was in any way or part your fault. You did NOT cause him to choke you. It was his choice. Physical violence will escalate. Please take the judge’s recommendation for you to get some counseling. Please save yourself.
@@Cuileanne I wish it were that simple for everyone. Sometimes there are children to consider. Sometimes the abuse victim starts to think they "deserve it" (FYI, NOBODY deserves it). People can live with the most abusive partner for many reasons. Some never get out. Some can't get out until the abuser dies. Some can't get out because they don't have a job or saving, or they've got no family to go to. Sorry, I didn't mean to dog-pile you, but this kind of situation is very triggering for me. I'm one of those with complicated reasons for staying-no money or job, didn't think my family would help. even believed that I deserved it. I'm one of the people that didn't / couldn't get out until my wife died in a PT rehab center. She fell out of bed and hit her head - never woke up. Now that I've seriously overshared, I'll close this response.
he is a NURSE??? well, with a conviction that license gets suspended or revoked...the determination depends upon whether it has a DV charge added...if so, license revoked...then no job at a hospital, nursing home, doctors office etc.
@@dpofahl 🎯 it happens all the time women go back for 1 million different reasons. Things are different in the beginning and then trouble starts in little ways. Then it starts to escalate getting worse over time. Until one of them explodes and someone gets hurt the police may or may not be called. The cycle starts over again. He probably had nowhere to go, and she felt sorry for him. It’s hard for a person with anger issues to keep it under control for a whole year. I suspect he had already started going back to his old habits being abusive and she saw her out. This is pure speculation, and guessing on my part. I also don’t want to get her hurt if he happens to find this video and these comments. She might’ve been genuinely trying to get him legally allowed to live with her since he had gone an entire year without hurting her or breaking any of his legal responsibilities on probation because of spot checks and having to list his address they would have been found out that they were living together. We will never know, but I hope she makes the best of it, and puts him out of her life and goes on to make better decisions and lead a happy safe life.
He woke up and picked that hair piece for court today and said to himself, "Hell yeah, fa-bu-lous!! No one will ever know it's not my hair. We are winners today."
The first thing I purchased when I found out was a book on what to expect newborn through 13. We referred to it constantly and it was spot on. I just wished it went to 18 😆. Teen year’s were tough. Tough love is just that except it was harder. Straight A student got embarrassed because the teacher would call on her when no one else in the class answered. Other classmates started teasing her about being a nerd. So she stop doing homework until we got a call from a friend (teacher) who let us know. Yeah it’s called tough for a reason. I want to brag a little. The summer of her 7 grade she read a book over 1k pages…that was in French😮 looking up every word until she no longer needed to. We had her reading early and she loved it. Always going back to the library. It was much easier than waiting until bedtime for us to read together.😊 She will be 54 this year. Still reading. 😊
This woman OBVIOUSLY has not told her employer or her clients about this case, based on the faces she was making. Little tip - “home health care provider” , I.e. a kid who shows up to your older relative’s home or assisted living facility and babysits them has no special training whatsoever. How do I know this? Because my exercise “trainer” has a son who had a court case (dismissed), and she has had a “friend” managing a small assisted living facility hire her son as a “health aide” at that assisted living. He will be charged with giving them medication and cooking food for them, etc. In addition, my exercise “trainer” also has many other duties at this small assisted living facility, including managing their “nutrition” - I.e. creating the menus and cooking for them (she is NOT a nutritionist or a chef or a dietitian.) In addition, individual clients in the facility have hired her to “exercise” their family members, but while she is supposed to be working for individual clients, she is also getting paid by the facility. Okay, my point is this - check out everyone who interacts with your mom, grandad, grandmother or father at an assisted living facility, particularly in TEXAS - the requirements for caregivers are ridiculously lax. In addition, we just found out that assisted living facilities do not have to have a generator or anything else in case of a natural emergency. If you take anything from this, please just spend the money to keep your relatives in their or your home. The dangers out there, even in “quality facilities” is ridiculous.
You need to report that facility. They are breaking the law. I am a home health aide with lots of specialized training and certifications. My company does a DEEP background check on you. They find things most employers dont have access to fi d in your criminal record. Eventhough I'm certified to give medication, to take blood, give shots, wirh this company we are not allowed to. No company following the law will allow an untrained, uncertified person to hand out medication. There is something very wrong with that facility if they're doing all those things you said. They must be falsifying documents to show those employees being certified or even licensed. They have to be. You NEED to report them before a resident is hurt or killed.
@kimstelly9480 even in Texas, in order to administer medication you either have to be a registered nurse, have certification or permit to administer medication, or be the delegated person that the rn delegates to administer it under the RNs license and it has to be consistent with the Texas Board of Nursing rules. There's so many rules and laws that have to be followed at these types of places. My sister worked in administration at a nursing home here in MA and the state was CONSTANTLY being called because they were skirting rules. They were sanctioned so many times, idk how they haven't been shut down. They've changed owners several times though. My sister left because it was so bad and she didn't even work the medical side of it.
Yes!!! And Oh I know they have NO special training everyone I know who is a home health care worker never went to college, barely graduated HS… they have zero training to do it NONE unless the place they go to trains them which is hardly the case. I’d never do that to my family ever.
@@CherrrrBear Of course, everyone thinks they would never do that to a relative. The problem here is that the facility I’m talking is very inexpensive - I.e. $7,500 - $8,000 dollars a month. If you want specialized home care or a facility with nurses (RN), doctors, and qualified personnel on staff, you are looking at between $15,000 and $20,000 dollars a month, at least down here. You always think you can take care of a loved one at their home until you realize that it takes psych training to get an Alzheimer’s patient to eat and drink. It takes kinesiology or physical therapy training to help move a patient to change their diapers, get them in a wheelchair chair for the day, then get them back in bed and changed for the night. I agree, I would never expose my parents to something like this. But I also know that, even with insurance, you won’t be able to take care of someone properly with social security. This takes hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings, lots of research, help, and perseverance. No one wants this for their parents. The simple fact is, most normal people are too poor, ill-equipped, exhausted and scared to do anything except something like this. I hope you never have to.
2:04 this text you have added should state "85% of KNOWN DV victims are women." It's believed that the real numbers could be 65/35. Women on men is not nearly as often prosecuted as DV and may also go reported the wrong way round.
Judge Boyd is covering all the bases leaving nothing to chase with this mother of five or her social worker giving her opinion. Everybody is put on notice, she is not joking, half stepping or lolly gagging about any case. She does everybody the same, different circumstances different charges and people. SAME JUDGE BOYD. PURE EXCELLENCE... 💯💯💯
My sister stayed with her husband and he was 100 percent abusive, my family tried everything to get get to leave and she was the bread winner he didn't work he was a massive alcoholic, even the state stepped in and tried to help her she still didn't want help, he had a massive grandfather stroke before he turned 50,i was never so revealed, at his wake i had to leave early cause i couldn't listen to any more of the bs his family said about him being a nice person, his own kids who where older teenagers adults didn't cry at his wake, some times you can't help people at all if they don't want it, and I'm betting dollar to donuts he's done this before he's abused her before he just finally got caught
That last one.... Oof, the restrictions on employment sound harsh. Until I remember that she has a history of drug use and she assaulted someone with a deadly weapon. Losing her job is a small price to pay for a chance to stay out of prison. The finding of family violence could be problematic for her if any of her exes decide they want custody, right?
