I love that we have such a big canning community!! Can someone teach me how to do it and not explode the glass?! Because I had some mean homemade strawberry rhubarb jam that went sour on me way too soon :(
I canned my own pickles for the first time last year, there's a lot of helpful instructions online if you just google it! I got the mason jars and other canning supplies I needed at Walmart, wasn't hard to find. I think the keys are making sure there's enough acidity in what you're canning for it to be shelf stable and checking that the top of the lids are flat and not bubbled up after you've boiled your filled jars.
We warm the jars up in the oven and once they are full and lidded we put them back in, with the oven turned off. They then sit there for several hours until they are cooled enough. Its important to create a vacuum inside the jar when canning jam, so make sure that when you put the jars away, the lid doesn't give way when you press on it. It should be slightly shrunken in. P.S I should add that the lid of the oven is sometimes slightly (maybe 1 cm measured from the top) propped open to speed the process up P.P.S Also make sure the jam you are putting in the jars is hot too! P.P.P.S You don't need a specific device to seal them properly. As the water inside the jars cools it contracts (before it starts freezing (then it becomes opposite)) which creates a vacuum without any fancy toys needed.
Story 2 - Canning isn't a cute little hobby, it's literally just preserving food. Everyone in Easten Europe does it. Making tomato sauce specifically is a huge thing in Italy. I haven't bought a jar of pickles in years. The veggies my mom preserved in the fall are still in my pantry, still good to eat. Canning is really labor intensive, and even if they bought other tomatoes, that's still a day of sweating in the kitchen OP isn't getting back. OP was calm. Any babushka with some self respect would have chased SIL around with a shovel.
@@mirunastroe8280 sadly a lot of Americans, as an American, we need to go out of our way to learn about where our food comes from and how to make it last.
@@mirunastroe8280I thought those words were used incorrectly in this situation as well. Food, food insecurity, food hobbies and so on are not eccentric or cute hobbies... Food all around is a huge thing in most people
Story 2: I’m sorry but seasoning someone else’s food without asking is psycho behavior to me. If you want to spontaneous clean something at my house, have at it! 😂 If you want to season my food, wait until I’ve served it to you or at least ask if you can help.
I'm so confused why Talia is confused about the idea of canning tomato sauce lol. It's a base you can use later instead of buying store bought. One might be spaghetti sauce, another marinara, another might go in chili, etc. So you don't season them until you use the sauce for something. Fresh sauce tastes way better than store bought and is also healthier.
it’s because for New York/LA people it’s more normalized to live in shoe boxes and go to target and spend 5+ dollars every single time they need an ingredient lol
Story 2: Canning is a MASSIVE labor of love. So much work and planning goes into how you're going to save, store your food, and how long your stock is going to last. The more spices you add, the longer those cans sit, the stronger those flavors will get and you RARLEY add dried herbs or whatever isn't freshest into your cans.
I was getting frustrated by how she was not understanding how intense canning is. Like little pots of sauce… girl, this is something our ancestors did to survive. This skill saves me money and makes my food healthier. And in a food scarcity, it can keep you from going hungry. Home food preservation is why most Americans are alive today.
YES!!!! My mama-in-law does this and it's something I want to do down the road. It's SO much work! Easily a full days worth! I would be soooo mad at the SIL!!!
@@alyssa2796This. My mom is a Appalachian coal miners daughter, so grew up poor and off the land. Though I grew up better off we had a huge garden and canning was a family event a lot of the time. So was preserving the hunt from my uncles and stuff. While the elders were always teaching us and stuff I couldn't imagine adding anything to anyone's stuff without being asked. Especially that much, 5 pots!
@@alyssa2796same I was getting really annoyed. It’s not weird, at all! I try to grow all my own vegetables to can. It’s a process and a half and something I cherish and do with my kids now.
Agreed! I thought by "colorful past" she meant stripper or hooker, which still isn't right. I told an ex about my "body count" and he used it against me years later. Never again will I discuss exes.
@@Jlee061994 girl same! Men like that are garbage. My boyfriend now refuses to even discuss. Whenever I show him videos about guys like that he tells me “none of that stuff should even matter. They’re with each other for a reason.” That’s some real man shit right there!
Y’all were way too forgiving about the sister in story #2. She came to pick up clothes, SHE WASNT EATING and she took it upon herself to add all that stuff in. Even in cultures where cooking is communal, who comes in and messes with food behind someone’s back when they won’t even be consuming said food? Weird.
from listening to it i personally took away that they more so think that she has apologized and gave money and that it’s time to start moving on. i think also the guest here doesn’t totally understand because she lives a different lifestyle than the people in this story lol.
Waayyy too forgiving, and honestly really condescending towards the OP as well. What’s “weird” about cooking? “I think it’s cute you’re passionate about your little sauce” gave me such an ick.
In my family its commonplace for us to add things to a pot even if we arent eating. BUT the difference is that we dont go to our inlaws pot and throw in things without already having that relationship.
My family is Italian and we make sauce in big batches, a yearly tradition that's been happening for generations. Adding random stuff to the sauce would ruin a year's worth of food for multiple households
I’m glad to see someone say exactly how much food was being tampered with! I am learning how to cook, and it sucks that if I mess up really badly, there goes dinner for a family of four (or insert another amount). I’m so sensitive, but I feel like crying when I do that 😂 I would be seething and need time to cool down. The SIL seemed to apologize as well as she could, so I’d want to forgive her, but I would need a little time to heal 😅
Can you make a bonus episode showing your guest what canning is. The most confusing part of the episode so far is that she thinks turning tomatoes into pasta sauce is a wild & whacky hobby. 😂
With the 4th story: I’m after hearing it on a few podcasts and always surprised no one mentions that the baby is going hours without eating and being changed.. I know babies have to be fed every couple hours. And diaper changes are also very important, I have a family member who was neglected so bad that his private part literally rotted off because of bacteria.
This is literally child abuse/neglect. This is not okay. This story outcome could have been waaaayyyyy worse and he's over here crying about his wife. I am surprised they did not arrest him or press charges against him.
That's awful what happened to that baby! I've always been so diligent with my daughters diapers. Her dad said "it's not that full, why change it?" One time and I told him it's not hygienic and would he want adult diapers to wear for hours and urinate in multiple times until it was "full enough" to be worth changing and getting a clean one? Anyway he has very sensitive skin as does she, and he understood what I was getting at pretty quickly.
i was thinking of that as i was feeding my own 4 month old while listening to that story ☹️ she has a lot of needs especially first thing in the morning. that story made my heart hurt for that poor baby.
I feel like everyone is downplaying the second story. It's not only about boundaries, sister-in-law could easily kill someone and no one would notice. SIL doesn't know who is is eating, their dietary restrictions, or ALLERGIES! And if she can easily do this, she could easily poison someone if she really wanted to. OP is mad, but I think a proper boundary being established needs to be communicated to SIL, regardless if it's an occasion or just a quick stop like in the story.
Yep, that's exactly what I thought, too. I have life-threatening food allergies. Add the wrong thing, and my throat closes. I don't understand why people do shit like this.
Ya I would be pissed, that is SO much work! I'd tell my brother to get his and his wife's butts over to help me process everything. Also it shows how much a city girl this guest is cause most everyone I know has a garden and cans... I grew up in rural Northern California and now Southern Idaho. Definitely not an "eccentric hobby" lol. It's the way we make our vegetables last and how we are able to feed our families healthy, fresh meals.
I came to comment this!!! My husband and I can tomatoes from yard that we make into marinara sauce, and certain spices as well will make it more acidic and it’s a different canning process. And oils will make good getting canned go bad faster! So if she was already almost done with the batch and getting ready to can, I’d be pissed! Especially 40lbs!!
I'm not sure about other countries but in my country if I add oil to the freshly canned stuff my babushka disownes me without any hesitation. You just don't mess with others canning.
Agreed. Its not a weird thing at all and it was condescending for her to say, “it’s so cute that you make your little sauces”. Hopefully, she reads the comments and understands that it’s just not common place for her but for many it is a invaluable tradition.
Dude I know I was actually getting pissed off. It also isn't "doomsday prepper" mentality either, more like healthy self sustaining resourceful and just bad ass in general. I'm 26 years old and can stuff. Do you know how much harmful unnecessary shit is in most foods?? It's gross, I mean I still eat a lot of shit I shouldn't because the taste and addiction I have to it, but slowly getting better. I'm glad I'm not alone lmao
Story 2: she explicitly has asked her NOT to do this in the past and then other times told her not to help, she does not need help, and let her know she is following a recipe.
Story 4: That is literal child abuse and leaving a child screaming for hours like that causes permanent brain damage. Don't just divorce, go scorched earth on his lazy ass.
ETA: the baby was napping because it was exhausted from crying it's heart out all day for someone, anyone, to come. 💔💔 His mom has to come comfort him, but he can't comfort his own baby.
The canning story made me so mad, I cann multiple things every year with my mom who grows her own produce. Canning takes hours, you have to get the ingredients, cut everything, cook it down, put it in jars and then either water bath or pressure cook it depending on what you are preserving, then you have to clean it all up. 5 batches of sauce must have taken so much effort just for it to be unusable because your sister in law has different preferences?? It wasn’t even meant for her! I’d have been so pissed at having to start the whole thing over again, that’s time and effort that can’t be given back. (Also oof I loved your cohost on everything but this story, she definitely doesn’t have a bunch of experience with the subject. Canning can mean a whole year or twos worth of produce, sauce, salsas etc saved so that you can have something exactly to your taste and you only have to go through the process of making it once) That being said, their apologies seemed genuine and heartfelt, I’d ask they not do anything in the kitchen again without asking first but let them back and accept the apology.
Some ppl need to realize body shaming goes both ways. Shaming someone for losing weight and being skinny bc that’s not how you look is also harmful. Just bc they may hit into societal standards doesn’t mean it’s not rude
My husband is a skinny guy and has literally had ppl be extrenely rude to him when he told his story of how hard it was for him to gain weight and tell him that "gaining weight isn't a problem" and "your so lucky to be skinny" when he was actually seriously underweight
I was just thinking this. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion but idk the way they just brushed off the sister for the way she treated her sister cause she was working out and fit. Kidnve upsetting. I got bullied growing up for being too small and skinny. It does go both ways. I don’t think the sister was wrong in what she said. She said ONE thing. In anger sure but hasn’t said anything else. While her sister berates her. I’m surprised they’re still in contact.
@@tesshagensieker1700I’ve had the same. And a friend of mine growing up used to get upset when I’d talk about trying to gain weight and her trying to lose it. Now she understand me but in the beginning she didn’t
Completely disagree with Talia on story 3. She said to never mention to a friend that their bf gives off bad vibes “unless he’s beating them” when toxic relationships and abuse can take multiple forms. Not everyone appreciates honesty, but if you’re genuinely concerned for your friend, you should ALWAYS (gently and tactfully) say something. People might “live and learn” but will be left with so many emotional scars that almost never heal. People are more likely to leave a bad relationship if they know they have support network of people who love them. OP didn’t go about this the right way, but he absolutely should have told his sister. Her bf’s kink is damaging her health and negatively affecting her demeanor.
RIGHT THANK YOU LIKE? And then sat here and said is this feeder thing it damaging her in a way that she needs to be pulled out of it is it an abusive thing? If this MF just said his sister is literally about to be 500 like their parents in such a short time span at that when she was originally 300 bc this POS is shoveling unhealthy crap into her mouth on behalf of his fetish what do you think? 😐
Thank you! I think people don’t realize that there are different forms of intimate partner violence and physical abuse is just one of them. If you have cause for concern you should bring it up to a loved one from a place of love just to let them know they have someone in thier corner
The boyfriends kink could literally kill that woman when it’s not done safely and consensually. Like she could develop diabetes and if that goes untreated she would have maybe a couple years left, and those years would feel like hell.
It’s crazy because she seems to be able to understand a kink isn’t a kink when the person is doing something with malicious intentions and in result other person is not enjoying it or not able to consent to the kink. But not how there is a very a huge line between abuse and a mutual understanding/ consent of a kink. Also seems to understand how not to interfere in your friends relationship just because you don’t like someone and don’t know their relationship BUT even if it’s difficult when you see actual abuse happening you should definitely find a way to show your friends concern and solidarity. Like if you see someone being cheated on most people would want you to tell them. Of course they’ll be upset but it’s their health is in danger and contrary to popular that makes it abuse. Same with seeing your friend be physically abused standing by and thinking it’s not your place sounds ridiculous. In this storys case OPs sister was being abused. She had no knowledge she was participating in a “kink”. It’s not a kink if you get off on harming non consenting persons. Tha being said Op shouldn’t have lashed out because, be the bigger person. But who hasn’t lashed out when being constantly judged/hurt. Ops sister doesn’t get a pass to hurt her and try to crush her confidence just because she’s insecure herself. This story has multiple parts leading up to one instance. Taila’s take seems to be strictly on biased personal experience on separate not connected experiences. To me that doesn’t translate well to Ops story.
Thank you. I was sexually abused by an ex for 2+ years and finally opened up to my friend about how he treated me behind closed doors. I'll never forget how she just looked at me and said, "you know that's r*pe, right?" That moment was the beginning of me finally getting free of my abuser. As others said, there are so many more types of abuse than physical. But even then, you may not even know your friend is being physically abused until it gets to a breaking point. Keeping quiet about the red flags you do see is NOT the answer. The key is to lead with kindness and understanding towards the victim, and let them know that you're there for them no matter what they choose to do.
Worse than that guy from Story 1 is that Jessica and the fact that boys are fine with her behaviour. I met not one but THREE SUCH JESSICAS in different friend groups in the last 2 years and it's ALWAYS BOYS who defended them 🤮 literal bullies
It's toxic pick me before. Being a pick me isn't always a bad thing, but being a Jessica is toxic. I had a literal Jessica in my life named Jessica lolol
@@BBH414which kind of pick me isn't bad tho? pick me means shaming putting other women down to get male validation and stems from internalized misogyny, so i can't really think of a scenario where being a pick me isn't bad lol
What Talia said about being into BDSM as a trauma response is something I came to realize about myself about 2 years ago and it was earth shattering. I had to rewind and listen to what she was saying again bc I haven’t heard someone else say what I have said. Very validating.
She might already have a colorful past, just not with friends so "it's okay". A person with a "conservative" past usually don't just offer up their body for revenge, most people who haven't slept around don't usually want casual relationships. Plus, I think she's after the man 😂
This is the update to the 4th story. The baby and mom and both safe!!! Update --sorry I created this account just to post my story I'm not a big Reddit user. I missed so many wonderful messages from people. The last few days have been crazy. Once I finally told everyone what happened many took my side. My ex-husband and mother in law still think I'm a jerk. My friend allowed my daughter and I to move in with her. Which is nice, we were living in a bad area before so this can be a fresh start. My ex-husband has not asked to see my daughter for the past week. Online he's saying how I ruined his youth by trapping him with a baby. Idc anymore l'm in a nice routine with my daughter. I took her to the hospital and they found signs of neglect. I explained the situation. The doctor advised me to press charges against my ex husband. I think I will. But I'm safe My daughter is safe Tbh i probably won't come back on Reddit. But I wanted to thank everyone for everything
Calling the canning girl weird is insane….? lol she seems smart and level headed especially BECAUSE she’s canning. that is insane you think it’s okay to mess with someone’s food….?
Story 2: If Talia is wondering about why OP is doing so many tomatoes at one time, there could be multiple reasons. I come from an area where canning is very normal. Canning can be very handy depending on your climate, diet and processing preferences (avoiding additives if that’s something you’re worried about) versatility, cost, accessibility, etc.
YES Also OP could be planning on selling the Sauce at the farmers market or be making it for a sick friend and adding something new could make canning impossible.
@@woman_of_mayhem yes! I didn’t even mention the hard work to blanche, core, and peel all 40 lbs. of those tomatoes. The work and time lost is equally as valuable as any other aspect, if not more.
Story 2: I think making the sauce might be a traditional thing for her, my Italian family gets together and makes a years worth from scratch for the whole family and it is a labor of love, anyone would be furious if they potentially ruined the years sauce
@@toto6175i think you understood the comment wrong, she was implying that she did nothing wrong, so it's sad that she felt the need to tell him as if this was something she had to "confess" and that someone maybe have slutshamed her for simply being sexually active or something similar that she felt like she did something wrong.
I was thinking the same thing! Even if they were close friends and she knew, it would be the second guy’s fault for breaking bro code. And the OP still would have done nothing wrong. She can date anyone who says yes (if she’s single or in something non exclusive). Very clearly NTA 😅
Story 4: Holy shit! Please leave him. He is a danger to your baby. My oldest could rolled over at 2 months. My youngest rolled over at 4 months old. Every baby is different.
That was so disturbing to me too that he knows what he is suuposed to be doing and only doing it when his wife will see. As sickening as the neglect is, the pretense was chilling! Loved Talia's reaction to the headphones and then that they replayed it! I've heard this one before but not the update until today -- So glad she is divorcing him! I also couldn't believe his Mom's reaction. No wonder he's such a horrible person.
HE IS CAUSING THAT BABY DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA. imagine if that went on for longer than it went on?? that baby would begin to shut down, it would begin to believe that 'MY PARENT DOESNT CARE FOR MY NEEDS. CRYING DOESNT WORK.' they would shut down, be called a good baby, "my baby never cries, theyre such a good baby" yeah because their nervous system has now been wired in a dangerous way holy fuck oh my god
Story 2: when someone says I don't need your help with cooking, or to leave and get out my kitchen, that's a sign to me that she doesn't need my unsolicited help. How clear did she need to be? "Stop f****ng with my food?!" OP is the one cooking, she didn't ask for help and the SIL is stepping over to add more spices. Why? Did OP ask her to? No, so why did she think this was ok in the first place? It's disrespectful to the cook. Would you go to a restaurant, go to the kitchen and add seasonings or fix the meals that the Chef has prepared? no, it's common sense.
Right they are way too forgiving on the SIL💀 there is no excuse for messing with somebody else's food when they asked you not to multiple times she did not need to sit here and make a PowerPoint to this b**** as to why she can't touch her food she already told her multiple times to stop tf?
story 3 - NTA i don’t think he should of told her in that way at that moment but u can’t continue to push ur insecurities on to others, constantly tear them down at every opportunity u get and expect them to take it, especially while simultaneously wanting them to let u cry on their shoulder & be happy for u. it can be so difficult to listen to other people talk negatively about their own bodies when you’ve gone through weight loss let alone them picking apart ur own body in a state where u finally feel happiest & most confident. he didn’t lie or make anything up, it was the truth and honestly he should of put an end to it a long time ago which i think could of avoided the outburst, but talking about someone’s weight or appearance in anyway can be so triggering.
Story one is crazy asf. The fact that all his friends “came to agreement” that she was gold digger. What the actual FUCK, she’s probably been around his friends soooo many times and she’s the butt of all their jokes. I’m so happy she left him
Seriously, they dug so deep and made up so many "facts" and opinions about her that I was dumbfounded how they even came to these insane conclusions. They obviously played of their own as well as dudes insecurities... The fact they even started her exes shows SO much
Story number 3 has me reeling. I don't remember them talking about this and I haven't seen any comments addressing it, but the sister was incredibly rude and disrespectful to OP. I have struggled with my weight and self esteem since I was a child and there is absolutely no reason to make those comments to OP. Now I agree that OP shouldn't have brought up about the boyfriend right then when his sister was charged up about the situation, but really it seems like the sister may need to talk to someone professionally about their own body image and how they reflect that on others.
Yeah, OP’s sister seemed to make so many comments about OP’s appearance and how she is “vain.” The sister crossed a line with those comments. But OP crossed the line with her comment about her sister’s boyfriend. They really need to work on healthy communication skills and learn to have compassion for each other.
I agree. I think the sister internalizes her sisters weight loss as a silent judgement of her own weight. She obviously does have some self-confidence issues and is deflecting those onto her sister.
I also think the sisters built up a certain amount of codependency based on this “us against the world” mentality. It seems like her sister is mad that she changed “the way they were” and is taking her losing weight personally “because if she wanted to lose weight what is she thinking about me?” I don’t have any empathy for the sister expressing her feelings in a mean way, but OP was wrong for telling her that in that moment. If he is a feeder, the way she shared isn’t meant to help the sister, but have a comeback against her negativity. I think they need to spend less time together. OP needs new friends.
How are all you people saying OP is wrong for calling g out the feeder boyfriend. He’s literally attacking her sister and helping her kill herself and all you women can seem to think about is the sisters feelings and relationship?!
@@r0der1ck_0nl1ne That's not an "all you woman" thing? Multiple women have called out the feeder for slowly killing the sister by involving her in kink without her concent. Just not these comments.
As someone who is actively a part of the kink/bdsm community, consent is always the key. We have 2 sayings... SSC (safe, sane, and consensual) and RACK (Risk aware consensual kink). My husband and I participate rarely in r*pe play, or as we in the community call it (consensual non-consent). He doesn't ask for it, i am always the one who asks for it. It's cathartic for me as a person who has survived a violent sexual assault. The issue with Fetlife is that there are creeps on there. As a community we try our best to vet trustworthy people but the deviant abusive psychos sometimes slip through because they're tricky. The only thing we can do after is rally around anyone they hurt, provide comfort and support and resources to seek help. At the end of the day, if whatever it is affects the person being subjected or both persons in said scene... then it needs to be discussed and renegotiated. Mainstream media doesnt understand kink like those in the community do, and things like mentioned (50 shades of gray) give a bad and really uninformed take on what kink and bdsm is supposed to be and sadly thats the only exposure most people get before they dive into the deep end....
Yupp so glad to see this comment here,,,kink is something u truly need to be educated on to participate and consent is always the key, informed consent in fact 🤷🏻♀️ the feeder thing was not okay for multiple reasons, but one being that the girl didn't know she was being fetishized, she could not give consent and it was damaging her health
I did NOT aapreciate Talia's take on it. Totally get it's not her thing, but she does NOT need to be making blanket statements about men liking to hurt women 😒
@@chelseatappa284but it’s true. A lot of women gaslight themselves into thinking they like and want certain violent kinks to appease their boyfriend, sounds like SHE had experienced that herself. There are so many stories of women dating men who clearly spend a lot of time watching porn, and they end up beating and choking their girlfriends in the name of kinks.😊
Story 4: “Extreme” is neglecting your new baby on purpose and then putting on a mask of empathy when your partner is around to hide that neglect. That’s not depression - it’s cold, premeditated and yes psychotic. This dad doesn’t love his child and will never learn from any punishment, especially not with his enabler mother always there for him and somehow not her grandchild. Agree that OP should kidnap her kid again, never look back and even go to the police and explain what’s happened for the second time, let's see if they're as hand-holding as mommy
story 4 made my stomach drop bc that is how babies die!!! 4 months old and he puts on noise cancelling headphones it is a miracle the baby SURVIVED being left alone for hours
For story 2, I feel like even if the boundary was never set when cooking in communal settings, ex) at grandmas on thanksgiving. It should be an unspoken boundary that you don’t walk into someone’s house uninvited & start tampering with their food. That’s tactless.
Story 3: I know what it's like to be with an abusive "feeder", I called it being a food pusher. I gained 80+ lbs. In a very toxic relationship and he has said these exact things to me when I'd eat.... Omg. I didn't know it was a fetish, I just thought it was chubby chasing or like a way to make you unattractive so you'd stay. He did used to "jokingly" tell me he's get me so big I couldn't run away... Lol The story morgan told about the wife leaving baby in her car: what he did was best same as what the wife did to the husband in this story #4 dis what it is best. The feeling you get from thinking your child has been kidnapped or is missing or gaia knows what!!! It is the worst most dreadful feeling ever and 99% of the time, you will obsess about never doing this again.
story 2: as a southerner, canning is so common. if someone came in and messed with my canning tomatoes i might have a worse reaction. why are we touching things that aren’t ours??
Story 4 is so scary. And resonates on a personal level. I had to pick my kids up from school three blocks away from my house. I left our two year old son with his dad. I left, locked the door. When I came home, my house was unlocked and my son was GONE… GONE. His dad fell asleep. Didn’t even watch him. I screamed for my son outside. Approached strangers about a two year old wandering around in 115 weather. The office in my apartment complex had him. Police and CPS were called. All over me leaving our son with his OWN FATHER. I should have been able to trust him. Fucking ridiculous.
I went to the story about the baby and there is small update. The mom took the baby to the doctor and they found signs of neglect, the doctor suggests pressing charges.
Story 2- why are we acting like canning is weird?? And calling OP 'eccentric ' for canning. Just bc you may not be into something, it doesn't make it weird that other people do it...🙄
When I first got with my boyfriend, I was irritated that he wasn’t into BDSM and fake grape. It took me almost a year before I realized that it was just my trauma response and now I’m so thankful he stuck to never wanting to hurt me or hit me in any way. I was begging him to hurt me because i felt like love needed to hurt. I thought that sex needed to hurt. He taught me differently and I love him so much more for it than if he’d of indulged my unhealthy sexual tendencies.
Ive been extremely skinny and petite my entire life and have been repeatedly accused of being anorexic. I have been with TWO men that loved to watch me eat, would buy me food constantly and literally make sure i was eating it, they would literally drool as i put food in my mouth, but they both started complaining once they realized how crazy my metabolism is and that i do not gain weight. I cried for months thinking there was something wrong with me because i couldn't gain the weight they wanted. It took a long time for me to realize that i have been absolutely blessed with my thin body and can eat whatever i want for days and stay the same. I never knew why the hell they did that to me, but it all makes sense now. One of them even said to me "i hope you learn to love food" when he left me for being so skinny. That fucked me up so bad, ive healed since and i love myself but i just dont understand picking another human to feed a greedy desire you have.
Canning tomatoes is generally used as a base. You can make so many thing from canned tomatoes. That’s why you DO NOT season it. You don’t know what you’re going to use it for. She seriously crossed a line.
Wait how is making your own sauce eccentric ? 😂😂 are we so reliant on grocery stores that making your own food is weird? I really don’t get it lol. Canning is great!
Yeah it kinda pissed me off the co host said it was “weird” or “eccentric” to make your own food/ sauce and can it?.. it was giving very entitled and privileged. It SUPER common, still, to can food to last a long time especially in the Midwest/ the north with heavy winters.
@@Allystargirl yea I agree. it’s also so much better imo bc you can choose what goes into your food and you know where it’s coming from! If you have the time and energy to do things like that, it’s great!
@@Allystargirlalso it's so much better for you since you know what you're eating and you controll what is being put in your tomato sauce. And it also tastes better
@Stellarstellegirl "It's giving entitled and privileged" no you're giving rude and judgemental. Someone not knowing about something doesn't make them entitled or privileged. Get over yourself
Story 3: the sibling where one have lost weight and are a PT and the overweight sister. The person who lost weight is a man. Had to go back and check because they refered to him as her all the time.
@@crissawilliams8429 lol i answered this after being up for like 36 hours and my brain was dead. They are brother and sister 48:10 25 female and 22 male
The same men who go “I should be allowed to like a half naked woman’s pictures” will turn around and say “my girlfriend isn’t allowed to post pictures of herself online” they’re the same guys saying both.
As a girl who does sincerely enjoy some rough bedroom fun, giving and receiving, I agree with the if you could get arrested for it it’s not a kink. I do not think I would have certain kinks if I wasn’t abused or have cptsd. Part of arousal is adrenaline, it’s all connected. With that said, I think this is why we need to teach consent so much more thoroughly to kids and teens. Nothing happens in my bed without genuine consent.
As a kinksters I have one thing to say about story 3 that vanilla people don't understand. Kink is about trust and consent. Mutual consent from all parties participating. Even for something like CNC, consent is so important for the safety and trust of all people involved in a scene. If one person is unknowingly participating in someone's kink, that's abuse. It's not kink shaming, this person is a predator taking advantage of a venerable person.
THANK YOU!!!! Not to mention that type of sudden weight gain and change in eating patterns can really really ruin your body. Like irreparable-damage-and-potentially-kill-you-type ruin your body.
@@witchassbitch3 Honestly, I get the feeling that is this dudes intention. Hes getting off on controlling her and watching her slowly kill herself for him. Its really fucked up, and its people like this who give the rest of us a bad rep. This is why vetting is so important! Stay safe out there 🖤
AGREED. I trust my partner and therefore I found more kinks. This led to liking pain . I think pple shouldnt speak on something they doesn’t understand.
My dad makes his own salsa and omg the amount of WORK that goes into it. I’d cry for him if someone messed it up! It’s wasteful, it’s her home, and it’s a ton of wasted time and energy! It’s not fair I understand her frustration
I was doing my best not to tell my bsf “I told you so” and instead said “I like when you say my thoughts out loud” after she’d come to the realization on her own. It was hard not to smile so big when she finally made that step for herself. Big proud.
Story 4. That is neglect and abuse. If cps would have been called the child could have been taken away from op too. I have seen it happen in my line of work. Neglecting a baby and not meeting their basic needs can cause long-term psychological damage.
1:22:36 100% agree! I don’t even like kids and never want any, but if I agreed to watch over an infant you’d better believe I’m not leaving that little blob alone for one second. It’s so horrendous that the father cares so little about that baby and then CRIES TO HIS MOMMY 😫
Story 3: HE’S SUCH A FEEDER and being realllll obvious about it too. As a fat woman I’ve dealt with them and it’s all good until you realize they don’t actually care about your comfort. Like it’s one thing to encourage someone to eat what they want, or get seconds but it’s a WHOLE other thing to be a feeder. To push someone to eat and eat and eat, with no regard for their well being
Story 2: OP could be canning the sauce to give away/donate. She could have been leaving them plain because people have food allergies. Seasoning allergies are a thing, heck my mom's eyes start to swell if the simple smell of garlic is too strong.
(Edit: those arent red flags, they are non signs and fireworks! )That 4th story made me so physically ill. That baby was starving and alone for hours. Wet poopy and scared. Could potentially smother itself. Isn't getting any activity or movement. Not to mention that babies that age can dehydrate if they aren't being fed every 2-3 hours. So awful.
How many recipes has SIL ruined? How much time has OP wasted. Did it take OP dropping the hammer to finally get an apology? How much money and time has she cost OP and not care.
Story 1: Perfect examples of someone projecting their insecurities out on others. Story 4: The 'kid hurting animals and other kids' thing is not the only indicator of psychopathy. While its a warning sign of something going on, it can be learned behaviour and not a sign of being disturbed.
Love ya Morgan and this is my favorite podcast..but canning is not some "weird" or quirky little hobby!! We take time to grow our gardens, and then preserve our food for our family to consume over the next year! It is soooo much time, money, sweat & tears that goes into it. You had a great explanation Morgan. It is not about "dooms day" for most of us. It is about being self sufficient and knowing what goes into our food! And this is even ties into a topic you guys get into later in the episode. Being super health conscious, low tox, holistic, self sufficient etc..erks a lot of my family for whatever reason and the snarky comments putting me down for this lifestyle are out of hand!!
Totally agree, I would do it if I could, it's so much healthier and cost effective. Most people did it in the past if they had the means, and it is an idyllic part of life to aspire to tbh. Very healthy past time 😊
Our country is literally poisoning us with our food. We know that just by looking at how European countries regulate their food versus ours. Plastic and carcinogens in all our products that are banned elsewhere. It's not a conspiracy theory. If I had the time to farm/garden or can I would totally do it.
I don't care why Op in story 2 was making the tomato sauce for, I don't blame them for being that pissed at SIL. Don't touch or mess with someone's work unless they say you can!
I love you Morgan! Especially for admitting you don't want to embarrass your guests -- but you're doing sooo much better at speaking your mind. We love you for it! Great episode ❤
I completely agree with Talia. I get people who don't want to kink shame, but some kinks should be shamed, more specifically kinks that harm other people. Example: Feeders, people who get off on committing SA or actually hurting others. There are kinks, and there are problems that people need to get some therapy for.
I think it's funny that in the first story they blew up OP's phone. I bet if she hadn't taken the PS5 no one would've cared. If she just left they all would have moved on and forgotten the situation, but because she took back the gift she was harassed. That shows how little her boyfriend cared about her specifically.
Love how OP from story 1 is a THOT for sleeping with two different men over two different time periods.. yet Jessica will volunteer to sleep with OPs boyfriend "if you need to get back at her".
story 4: neglect is such an awful thing to do to a child. i was emotionally neglected as a child and i live with the long term consequences every single day (im in therapy), but to be physically neglected like this? i feel so sorry for the baby, even if the physical danger wasnt a problem, this child will have serious trust and attachment issues. horrifying behavior, good on OP for divorcing his worthless ass
Yes exactly what I said except just switch the parent who “kidnapped” the baby. The one story the baby could have died because of the dad ignoring the baby the other story the baby could have died by someone taking the baby and killing it. Both bad
That girl telling the other girl to cover up is the equivalent of mom's telling their daughter's to change because the creepy uncle or boyfriend is coming over. Do NOT tell me to cover up, GET RID OF THE CREEPS THEN.
On story 3, I think OP should have told her sister out of concern, then def NTA but she was so mean about it that it makes it seem like she could be making it up to hurt her sister. Both her and her sister seem so mean to each other they need to leave each other alone.
OP kept her mouth shut until she reached a boiling point. OP was being bullied by her own sister being called Vain and saying that no one would love her because she lost weight. Op's sister sucks Op deserves better her sister doesn't get a pass because she is overweight no one does. I don't blame her for saying what she said she was hurt so many times and lost her composer.
As someone with a lot of food allergies both myself and in my family, the thought of someone sneaking into the kitchen and adding things into food without any knowledge is terrifying. Absolutely OP is NTA, if she does this a lot she’s going to fucking kill somebody. For instance I’m allergic to bananas, so if I was making smoothies or fruit salad or something and someone walked in and added them, I’d be livid. Also making/canning your own sauce can save you a fuck ton of money and it’s a great skill to learn. Edit for Story 3, a lot of media portrayals of BDSM leave out the most important part, AFTER. CARE. Snuggles, love, a hot bath, showering your sub with love and praise so that they know it isn’t real. I’m so tired of people judging BDSM based on what they’ve seen in the media because it’s all wrong. Christian Grey wasn’t a dom, he was an abuser.
Story 2: the fact that her sil does that so often that she cant be left alone in her house is wild. Its unhinged behavior and i dont think she should be allowed in ops house. Idc about the apology, its weird and she shouldn’t have been doing that in the first place
Story 2: what if OP hadnt noticed and was allergic to turmeric or had a guest over who was... who in their right mind goes and alters someones food?? Canning can take DAYS, of planning, prep, execution, labeling, properly storing. SIL is a JERK.
The final story is just the PINNACLE of girls being raised to think guys are just expected to cheat. A glance shouldn't be a problem, but don't hunt down other women because your boyfriend's behaviour makes you feel insecure.
Hot take but, I'm gonna be honest, I'm not crazy about this guest. I'm not judging her based on her content as I'm unfamiliar with it, but the way she treated the second OP in her response was a little...ignorant? Like, do younger people not understand the concept of canning/preserving? I'm not a boomer but I thought her take was a little...condescending and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Edit: the ensuing conversation says...a lot.
If you've watched enough Nonna's on TikTok to know they don't measure when they cook, you would also know that NO ONE would fuck with Nonna's cooking in the first place.
Story 1: did she say they were together for 4 years before this happened?! I wanna know more about what the relationship was like before this point because if he thought of her like that before this it had to come out in other ways
Just finished the 1st story Is this really how people in their 20s behave? 2 guys makes a woman a hoe??? Erm no sir. And the best girlfriend? She wants the guy, she knew exactly what she was doing when she made that comment. NTA!! I've finally finished the whole thing (kids are brilliant distractions) I have no comments really except for the "kidnapping" one. I personally do wear 1 earbud most of the time in the day, I like to listen to podcasts, videos that don't necessarily need watching, audio books etc HOWEVER! I wouldn't allow that to compromise my ability to care for my 3 kids. The "dad" (I use this term VERY loosely) Is an absolute douche canoe. He not only put his helpless child in serious danger but then covered his negligence with deception/acting the part when mum comes home. Vile. His mother is also a douche canoe. I'd have smacked my son round the head and reported him to the police for child endangerment myself. This also speaks volumes about how is mother parented and how he was raised. I'm so glad she has chosen divorce.
Chill. Not everyone knows everything that goes into canning, nor how adding oils and herbs can spoil the canned product. She just sounds like she wasn't fully aware.
@@aduckofsomesorttowards the ends they retracts their earlier statement and says they dont care and just didnt fully understand what canning is. listen to the whole thing .
Noise cancelling headphones are also worn 24/7 by many people with sensory issues and it's still healthy. You can change the settings when someone is talking to you, and you can often still hear people. It just filters out the background sound. Also, while the guy in the story was emotionally abusing that baby, noise cancelling headphones on their own aren't the reason. It's the neglect. The headphones would keep a good parent sane when a baby cries. It prevents depression or frustration toward the baby or anxiety while parenting. Edit: It's a very common tool for people with autism, so you don't want to stigmatize it as being associated with bad people.
Yep!! I have a German that cries at everything! Some days are better than others but I have to put my headphones on when he is having those days of crying. It makes me feel less frustrated and annoyed. But that doesn't mean I neglected his wants and needs.
@@stephanief9240 I agree. I think that it actually makes you more capable of helping them. You can handle a colicky baby, or any baby longer that way. I can handle my kids extremely loud autistic meltdowns without losing it if I have headphones on.
I think there's a difference between noise cancelling and noise filtering. But yes as someone with sensory issues, I agree we shouldn't blanket statement that.
@@ellenstewart2269 Noise cancelling just filters. There's still some noise, and you can sometimes hear what people are saying when it's on. I've never heard of noise filtering headphones. I think that's just noise cancelling.
@@Trish620 There are both. A good example of different degrees of noise cancellation would be checking out "loop earplugs". They have a few different degrees of noise cancellation/filtering! You can definitely have different options. My headphones that I use also have options to filter out background noise, or to completely filter/cancel noise.
So interesting hearing you and Talia talk about her behaviors and how her brain might be a little different! People with under active amygdala’s and/or prefrontal cortex’s are more likely to engage in classically “risky behaviors”. This is also why teens and younger adults that don’t have a fully developed prefrontal cortex often have the “immortality fallacy” where they can recognize that drunk driving, unprotected sex, vaping, walking at night, etc may be very dangerous but don’t believe that the well known dangers of these activities will happen to them.
Story 3: The only issue I have with her telling her is that she waited and told her out of anger instead of concern. Once i found out from the friend that was his kink, I would've talked to her about it and provided the proof. I understand that ultimately, it's her choice to ignore or decide to end our relationship over it, but I couldn't know she was being preyed on and not tell her. If this was a situation where both parties were fully aware and consented, yeah, not my business. That was not the case here.
The feeder story; I just want to add that sometimes our intuition tells us useful stuff, so sure maybe you got bad vibes from your friends boyfriend because he’s just not your kind of person in which case that’s fine because you’re not the one dating him LOL, but sometimes there ARE other things we are picking up on. Our spidey senses can pick up on narcissism and manipulation pretty well actually we just often ignore it! I was stuck in a psychologically abusive relationship for 10 years and when I finally got out of it the amount of people saying they never liked the guy and never felt like the relationship was good for me, but didn’t think it was their place to say anything… it’s absolutely not their fault I was stuck in this relationship but people HAVE asked me if they should have said anything. Things like “you’re values were so different and then you seemed to change your core values to suit him”, “you seemed to be doing a lot for him and I know he was spending most of his time out with friends” “you withdrew a lot more than I expected at the start, more than a normal wanting to spend time with your new guy kind of thing” etc, I’ve come to a place where my advice is this; there is a kind and constructive way to share these feelings with people. For example, if someone had sat me down and said “look, I support you no matter what and accept you’re going to make whatever decision you make and it’s not any of my business, but I’ve just noticed some things as an outsider and I would feel bad if I didn’t say anything” Then keep it short and sweet and summarise it. I would also add to the end “and look, I may be wrong but I would feel funny keeping that from you so I just wanted to say it and then leave it be unless you ever want to talk it through more, please know I’m not judging you, just trying to be the best friend I can and it’s not always easy to know what to do.” I think also just sharing known red flags is a good idea, like “look I don’t expect you to change your feelings because I pick up bad vibes, but as long as you know to look out for XYZ red flags, and know you can always come to me judgement free, I’m absolutely going to be supportive of you and this relationship”. I had a few people tell me I shouldn’t get married/wait to get married because I was too young. This is not a helpful way to express this stuff haha, my brain was like “age has nothing to do with whether a relationship works out” and it didn’t give me any seeds of doubt, it just put more pressure on later as I felt I had to prove myself. If your friend or family member is truly in a good relationship and you guys have a good relationship then this kind of conversation is fine when done the right way. Just my two cents!!! Stay safe all!!
Talia seems pretty ignorant towards relatively common practices in story 2. It seemed like she was lowkey mocking OP. Morgan’s commentary was great though.
