I enjoyed this. You're quite right that dueling was very rarely something that was at all to the benefit of the women concerned. It's also the case that quite a high proportion of the non-military male population was against dueling as well - it's an interesting point that the civilian Mr Bennet (and Mr Gardiner and Mr Darcy) do not consider a duel necessary; Colonel Brandon does. I've seen this explored in the slightly pre-Regency naval drama Hornblower as well. Duels were seen as a sort of necessary evil to be kept quiet from 'civilisation' and your fellow officers would first try to talk you out of it and then look the other way. Captain Pelhew sums it up nicely: 'Mr Hornblower? You have fought your duel; that is well. Never fight another! - that is better.'
I am so glad you enjoyed it! And Wickham, despite being in the militia, has too much self-preservation and too little honor, and so he would likely have tried to avoid a duel at all costs. I read the first book in the Hornblower serries for a class once! I distinctly remember not being able to put the book down around the duel. Thank you for bringing up that memory!
