This is definitely one of my biggest fears about giving birth xD I'm due in 6 weeks so definitely a video I appreciate and that comes just in time for me to be informed, make some decisions, and prep. Edit: I gave birth on the 16th, had minimal 1st degree tears :) still a bit sore but recovering easily
Congrats!!! Well, if this can bring a bit of peace of mind, we have so many blood vessels down there that the recovery is pretty fast. I had 2.nd degree tears and they were not overly painful, it was more like a pressure discomfort. Hoping everything goes great for you and baby ❤ God bless!
@@JoyfulinHope thank you! It does bring me comfort - before hearing all the good stories about healing somewhat easily and without too much pain, I only heard the nightmare ones about bad tears and weeks of agony so I seriously started to consider an elective c-section. By now I’m more afraid of major surgery than a little tearing xD
@@MeeshT oh absolutely! I'd say a C-section wouldn't be justified at least for me. I know we are all different. But in my case all I needed was time to do my sitz baths and actually trying to go to the bathroom. I did not use a numbing spray postpartum and don't feel like I needed it. As long as you have enough support pp and a freezer full of meals, all you'll want is to enjoy your bundle of joy all the time. You got thid mama!
I had a second degree tear and a urethral tear. I had an epidural so didnt feel it until it had already been stitched, but it really wasn't that bad. 6/10 on the pain scale when getting up, 4/10 on the pain scale when staying still or moving. by the time I was out of the hospital it was only a mild discomfort. ice packs and pain meds took care of the pain in those first few days. it took a few weeks to heal, but it all healed back together perfectly and sex felt completely normal by 6 weeks. the scar faded really quickly too and stayed completely flat and very thin.
I just want to say thank you guys so so very much for having this channel where you talk about real life situations that are completely normal in a "it's not a big deal" type of way because it really isn't! Currently 35 weeks with my first and have been watching your channel religiously throughout my pregnancy! Thank you for making this process easier to go through with your calming but reasurring ways♥️
You are so welcome Kari!! And congrats on being almost done with your pregnancy! The exciting stuff is just around the corner. Send you love and luck for a smooth labor and birth!!
I am from Bulgaria and I have recently read an article written by a bulgarian doctor who recomends the use of almond oil for both perineum massage and during the birth itself. According to him it lowers the risk of tearing up to 40% by making the tissues more flexible. I don't know if the info is credible but it doesn't hurt to try, I certainly will.
I had a baby a week before this videoncame out at exactly 39 weeks, (17 was my due date) and I had no perennial tears this delivery or my last! Thank goodness.
I met a young lady at work who gave me tips when I was about 2-3 months pregnant to start using olive oil in the perineal area, I did and am so thankful that I didn’t tear giving birth! I think between the oil, having an epidural (making it easier to push) and the way I pushed all helped. Thank you Lord!
At first I was like wait why not, seems like it could be a little fun time lol then I looked up a demo how to do it and yeah I guess it’s not really that sexy lol
Tomorrow I’ll be 35 weeks and I’m really worried about tearing 😩 I’m glad I found this video and I’m going to keep trying to find other methods to avoid them. This is going to be my first child 🥺
@@bergemarie3249 I did and I had a 2nd degree tear. I'm still doing sitz baths 1 month after having my baby. It probably could have been worse coz my baby was 4.2kg so I wouldn't discredit this
I had a 3rd degree tear, and I had no idea. It didn't hurt during delivery when it happened, and it didn't hurt in the hours after birth. No epidural, completely drug free birth. I was nervous to get stitches, but they numbed me up good and I only felt the first prick. The itching and pinching of the stitches afterwards was uncomfortable, I had to be careful how I sat and got up, but no painkillers were needed other than the initial stitching. So, it's great to prepare against tearing, but also try not to be terrified of it. Fear is worse than the thing itself imo.
Thank you so much for sharing Lacey! Sometimes not knowing what to expect can cause a lot of fear too, so we hope by educating and hearing experiences like yours women can feel empowered and prepared and fearless!!
I can relate, didn't even know I had a 3rd degree tear till they were talking about the damage after the birth and discussing how to repair and categorize the damage. The pressure of the baby being born masks it all, didn't feel a thing. I did have an epidural mind you, but still didn't feel anything, and they were about to do an episiotomy since our son was 3 hours in pushing labor and his head was too big and my contraction pattern wasn't helping with how I would get multiple in a row and a big long break which would undo a lot of my work. The worst part really is afterwards healing which is uncomfortable, with pulling, pinching, and itching as it heals, but I was able to live fine with pain meds and good hygiene down there.
I would love more specifics on the perineal massage! How often, where to massage, whether to use an oil/lotion, etc! Thanks for all the great info you guys provide!!
For anyone who's pregnant right now...the first 2 babies I tore but my 3rd I didn't! Here's what I did different: My first baby came out with her hand over her head. Couldn't really prevent that. But I was laying flat on my back and that didn't help. Tmi but tore internally. Second baby was on my hands and knees. That relieved a lot of pressure! Still tore some. I tried pushing too hard and didn't wait until a contraction to push. Third baby the midwife put a warm washcloth compress down there while pushing and that made a WORLD of difference. I didn't use pain meds but still didn't feel the "ring of fire" because the wash cloth was so relieving. I also pushed on my hands and knees, and waited for a contraction for the final push. She also came out with her hand over her head like her sister did, but still no tearing at all and I recovered very fast. Maybe this will help even just one mama. ❤️
I am due in a few weeks with my third! I tore with my first two as well. I honestly thought everyone tore when they gave birth 🤦 I'm hoping to try these tips and fingers crossed no tearing this time🤞
Yes, I second the warm cloth compress! I’m pregnant with baby #4 and have had 3 unmedicated labors, tore with 2, and I still get a little nervous about tearing.
I had a 3rd degree tear in my 1st pregnancy. They did episiotomy. I was in shock! And the recovery wasnt easy at all... hoping this time with my team of midwives, we can work together to prevent it! They told me about the warm cloth and perenium massage.
So nice of you to share such an intimate experience! I’m first time pregnant and been watching all your videos! Thank you so much for the excellent content!
Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to our channel! We are so glad you are here! The perineal massage is definitely a little awkward at the beginning but hopefully it helps and gives you confidence that you can absolutely be ready for labor!! You are so close!!
I really wish this video was out before I gave birth 😢 I got a 4th degree tear last year as a FTM. I was rush to the OR before serve swelling. I honestly never knew about the degrees of tearing. I am 7 month pp. doing well but weak pelvic, so I’m doing pelvic floor exercising. Thank you guys for this video !
When I saw the thumbnail for this in my feed, I saw "Prevent Tears During Birth" and my first reaction was, "Is this some new trend? Trying not to cry while giving birth?! Good Luck with that!" LOL! 😀
I got super lucky and only needed on stitch but my daughter is also only 5 lbs 13 oz. My doctor did massage me the whole time so I’m sure that helped. I’m 1 week postpartum and feel great.
i have seen evidence to suggest that a “hands off approach” (i.e., not touching or trying to support the perineum during birth) is actually less risky for tearing. a study from this year (2021) by Pierce-Williams et al. titled “Hands-on versus hands-off techniques for the prevention of perineal trauma during vaginal delivery: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials“ in the journal of maternal-fetal and neonatal medicine found this. unsure about the impact factor of the journal but it seems well done.
Yes I was confused when they suggested the p. massage bc I'd been told it can actually increase risk of issues. I had 2 kids and no perineum tears. I did however have a small vaginal tear each birth. So much conflicting information either way! The 1st time I pushed while laying down(as told) and needed stitches. With my 2nd I was squatting and did NOT push and had a very minor tear that didn't need stitches.
Study references only perineal pressure during active stage of labour. So I think perineal massage in the weeks prior to labour might still be helpful, haven't looked up those studies though.
I wish partners would be open about their relationship the way they are.Sometimes it's tmi to the world but you should be like that with your partner💓Much respect💚
You guys didn’t talk about drinking red raspberry leaf tea & using coconut oil for massaging. I would love more info, especially on the tea. Thanks, everyone.
Cajun Stork Midwife Kira has videos on Red Raspberry leaf tea. It’s recommended for 2nd trimester and third. In third, 4 cups are recommended to help prepare the uterus for labor. There’s also capsules if you don’t like the tea. The tea will tone the uterus like exercising other muscles to make it stronger and reduce postpartum bleeding. It may not help everyone, but it will not hurt you.
I had a third degree tear with my first born and 3 years later pregnant with my second one and considering c-section. 3rd degree was brutal and traumatizing.
My cousin had a 3rd degree tear with her first (a little 7lbs girl) then during her second pregnancy she got gestational diabetes and her son was over 10lbs (he came out looking like a chubby 3 month old) and not a single tear! She just took it slow and her body knew what to do and it stretched to accommodate. So tearing one time doesn’t mean that you’ll tear every time.
The most important step for no tearing...no interventions. Doctors need to stay out of the pushing stage. Coached pushing causes more tearing than anything.
This is crazy. Jenn Im (on youtube) didn't even KNOW she had a tear (1st time mom) she ended up in the ER a few days after birth due to the extreme pain!! There they found out she had a tear and she needed stiches!😱
I have been watching her videos for over 10 years...I didn't see her mention this story? Which video was it? I remember her mentioning which degree tear she had
I had 2nd degree tear with my baby. My stitches split and the doctors in my hospital do not go back in there to re-stitch because they said they could trap a possible infection so they let me go home with a gaping perinial wound while I was bleeding postpartum. I cried every day as walking and going to the toilet were painful for over a year. I kept going to the ER to have them check why I wasn't healing. They said I was healing and that I have granulation tissue. This tissue was red and raw. After dozens of visits to the ER and many courses of antibiotics to 'prevent' infection, I was reffered to a perinial specialist who did 6 treatments of silver nitrate to burn off the granulation tissue. So it took me a year and a half to be fully healed and recovered from that.
My boyfriend was rubbing my feet (37 and a half weeks pregnant) and when she was talking about how the vagina is made to stretch for baby he goes “so it’s like a snakes mouth”😂😂
It is SO normal to be nervous. I'm an OBGYN and have delivered HUNDREDS of babies and I was nervous!! Talk to your mom and sisters and friends who have had babies so you know what to expect--that always helps me. And know that you CAN DO IT. Your body is amazing. So trust your body and the team that is delivering you and you will have a great birth.
My mother had an episiotomy with my older brother and the doctor cut so far down that it actually cut her sphincter muscle. This was back when episiotomies were much more common. I'm terrified of that possibility.
First kid… I tore horribly! So painful, especially afterwards. But… with my second, I inserted primrose oil pills vaginally for about 2-3 weeks before due date… no tears. I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd kiddo, so I’m going to do the primrose oil again
@@XenyFairy so I did try it, actually ingested it. I dilated pretty fast etc. The hospital kept asking me if I took a laxative such as castor oil and I told them about the primrose oil, they told me that I shouldn’t have taken it blah blah. I would stick to inserting it vs ingesting but it did work. I took it along with the tea (forgot the name) unfortunately I ended up with an emergency c-section :/ because baby was in distress m. Overall I dilated 6cm in 12 hours before c-section
first time mom here, i’m 35 weeks and i’ve recently experienced my first yeast infection which i heard is super common during pregnancy. The symptoms have me traumatized!!! The swelling, the dryness, the pain everything just has me so nervous. My vaginal area hasn’t felt “back to normal” ever since and i’m so stressed. I hate the way my vaginal area feels 😢
Take some probiotics (the kind meant for feminine/vaginal health) and douche once with water mixed with a small amount of peroxide, immediately followed by a second douche of melted coconut oil. Your vagina will be good as new.
Do not douche, first thing to take into account is how much bread and sugar you are consuming. If you can take a break up until your due date and drink a gallon of water and have at least one to two garlic cloves a day. Along with a prenatal probiotic it will help go away. A yeast infection is exactly what it sounds like, to much yeast in the body. So you become infected due to an overflow or imbalance of yeast in the body. Follow those tips.
Id love some information on risks for peri urethral tearing. Everything I read is on perineal tearing. The healing was so slow compared to what I hear about recovery from perineal tears. I’m nearing birth again and this is honestly my biggest dread for the whole birth experience.
I’m currently 37 weeks with my second. My first birth left me with a very small tear and only two or three stitches.. but he wasn’t a big baby by any means. So I’m nervous with baby number two cause she’s already bigger than her brother. But I’m hoping for the best.
This was so informative and great so I hope this isnt taken the wrong way. I laughed right out loud at Kurt a few times. Some of the times you're talking his face just looks so concerned LOL it was so funny. I think hes pretty happy to not be a woman after this one 😉😂
I noticed that too! But, good that his brow was furrowed in concern .. Because it is serious business, and tears and poor repairs can negatively impact a woman’s quality of life. Nice that Kurt is empathetic.
Hi there, thanks for all your videos! My husband and I find them SO useful! I had a question about pushing techniques with an epidural. Any recommendations or resources?
I'm one year post partum and just found out I'm pregnant again. I had a 2 degree tear which still hurts. Just thinking about pushing another baby makes me consider a C-Section but I'm going to apply these tips and talk with my obgyn about it!! I also heard filling condoms with water in the freezer help for postpartum
In some hospitals you just have no choice in the end. Things just happen. I just feel like women were designed to have babies. After thousands of years we are still having this as an issue. We are clearly doing something wrong. Animals seem to give birth without any issues. Maybe our birth processes are too artificial. I have heard that getting epidurals actually increase the chances of tearing because you are out of touch with your body. In the past women had alot more kids than we did one after the other. I feel like there is something we are doing wrong. Tearing should be preventable and no vagina should have to be cut open. The fact that doctors are starting to say this now means there are things we are doing wrong now that will also be abolished in the future.
It totally makes sense that the epidural increases the chances of tearing for the reason you say. Notice that these studies about massage and birthing positions were done mostly on women with epidural so they do not really tell much. OB/GYNs are not trained enough on natural birth so it makes sense that so much is missed around it. When an OB/GYN uses epidural and tears herself it makes it look like women are doomed to tear and to not be able to have a normal natural birth. Not to mention the effect which birth has on breastfeeding. This is not an attack on her, she seems very nice. I just wish there were more efficient ways promoted by specialists to minimize pain during childbirth and prevent tears.
Well tearing is probably a natural part of the process too. In many women it would have healed fine and others would have died of infections. Also humans have an issue with birthing efficiently because our babies' heads are enormous in proportion to our pelvis, because our brains are so large. But yes a good medium of natural process and medical support is essential.
Could it because in the past tearing was also common but without internet we don’t know about other people’s experiences as easily? Giving birth used to be very dangerous.
I feel that people are a little too afraid of tearing for what it actually is. I got 2nd degree tear on my perineum and it healed in like 3 days... it's a bit sensitive when you sit down but it really isn't that big of a deal. Unpleasant, sure, but not worth obsessing over it for months prior to birth.
Nice and very informative video, I just read one person is interested in finding out more about the massage technique, which I second. And does age make difference? I'm 36 and may have first child, my brother who is 25 (same for his wife) has already had their first child but I'm not sure if she suffered any lacerations. I don't think she did since the baby came out whilst she was still at home (I think, I'm about 90% sure this happened).
I never received any advice and I too had a second degree tear. I don’t have leaking, though when I have to pee I sometimes have trouble holding it till I sit down, but I had that prior and I know a large part of it is a mental thing. The part that still bothers me is that my postpartum care was not adequate. I really felt dismissed and my ob was no longer there by time my appt came around. I’m pretty sure I didn’t heal well- I I think there’s some sort of vaginal prolapse occurring. My son is 5 now, I’ve only had one child. Intercourse can still sting (and even cause some tiny bleeding at times) and I think it’s from micro-tears along the scar. I’m definitely self conscious about it. I loved being pregnant, but the nightmare that was giving birth and post-partum misery has put me off of ever having another baby.
What does he mean he “wasn’t excited about it” and “wasn’t a big fan” of the perineal massages? What’s hard or so unenjoyable about them? Her organs are rearranging themselves, her skin is stretching, her back is supporting more weight, her hormones are causing physical and mental changes, she’s likely experiencing nausea, pain, fatigue, for almost a full year and at the end of it all, she’s having something rip through her body leaving and internal wound and possible an external one as well leaving her in pain and discomfort for several weeks to months and having to wear a diaper and use a squirt bottle every time she pees all while taking care of and nursing a needy newborn that has to eat every 2-4 hours.. and he’s “stepping up” by inserting his fingers into her and helping the muscles stretch for like 4/5 minutes? What?
I hope this helps second time around. First time around I can't remember the term they used, but I didn't have one tear from the vagina I had multiple small tears everywhere.
Who's gonna aply the warm compress in the final stage of birth? I'm sure the doctor won't be happy if my husband covers everything with a worm cloth...I really wonder how to do it?
There are also so many cases 9f doctors like you interfering and cutting to "prevent" tearing when really you should just leave things to the midwives...
Thank you for this video!! What do you think about evening primrose oil in capsules that you break and insert in the vagina? I see a lot of RU-vid moms saying they do that and I wonder if it has any science behind or if it’s safe? Thank you very much!!!
Midwives have videos about this saying that it’s pretty safe. Personally I used it starting at around 37 weeks I believe & it helped my cervix ripen so fast & so easy! My labor was relatively quick & it helped moisten my inside walls & prepare me for pushing! I only pushed for around 10 minutes(: but to each their own, always consult your doctors before doing anything 😇
My OB GYN (who is also a pelvic floor surgeon) says that perineal massage actually increases the risk for tearing by creating inflammation in the tissues leading up to birth 🤷🏼♀️
Control at the end is SO VERY IMPORTANT!! We’d be curious to see if she has any data or research to back up her thoughts on perineal massage. It’s an interesting line of thought.
Unfortunately I'm seeing this video too late. Note: I'm writing this reply without having watched the entire video. Anyway, I gave birth two weeks ago (foreceps), and my second degree tears are still as painful as they were right after birth. Oftentimes I just start crying because I'm so limited in what I can accomplish each day because of the pain....I sometimes wonder if they're really second degree, or worse. I have stopped taking Tylenol days ago to help with the pain because I hate the idea of passing along any medications to my baby in my breast milk. I honestly am desperate for healing and relief. I spray water to cleanse after using the bathroom, pat gently dry, and then use Dermaplast spray to help with pain and itching. What else can I realistically do to heal faster and get back to normal?? 😥🙏
I gave birth one and a half years ago. I really did those perineum massages as early as recommended. Guess what broke during birth? everything else but the perineum, i.e. my labia and my vagina tore. great.... next time I'm going to massage those areas as well. 😅
I did perineal massages & my midwife placed a warm washcloth on me too while I pushed, I had a very minor tear that didn’t require stitches & didn’t even know of until she told me. Totally recommend it!
Avoiding pushing too hard & too long. I eventually got an epidural with my daughter so I couldn’t feel the contractions coming and the nurses coached me when to stop to breathe and I didn’t listen. I just kept on pushing hard for a very long time. I tore a lot down there but recovering wasn’t so bad but just giving you a ladies a heads up on what not to do lol.
I was side lying and didn’t tear. My epidural was so strong and couldn’t feel anything and so my body pushed the baby on its own and crowning naturally. So by the time i pushed once my perineum stretched and baby was out in one push.
So 5 weeks postpartum with baby number 2. Was induced again this time 36 weeks last time 37 weeks. I pushed on my back and did not tear. Labor was 2 hours from start of pitocin and water breaking to baby. First time it was 4 hours. Made sure to control my breathing and pushing during crowning and had a mirror.
This was a fantastic video! I suffered a 4th degree tear 18 months ago with my first child and I wish I would have been able to see this video prior. Currently 20 weeks pregnant with #2 and going to try perineal massages in 3rd tri but I suffer a little ptsd from my tear and recovery and the thought of a perineal massage makes me a little sick to my stomach. Could you cover that a little in your next video? For any pregnant women who are scared of severe tearing, this is just my experience but I healed quicker than I would have though and made a full recovery after a few months. With nothing to compare it to, my experience wasn’t really that awful. I did see a pelvic floor physical therapist and I believe that aided in my recovery immensely and would highly recommend.
Just popping in to say that I’m 5’2, 130 pre-pregnancy and have birthed 7-8lb babies. I haven’t torn at all, and I’ve been using red raspberry leaf tea from Pink Stork and taking evening primrose oil vaginally and orally. I told my sister about it and she started it at 28 weeks- just had an 8lb baby with the biggest head I’ve ever seen on a baby and she didn’t tear either!
I had just turned 16 when I had my Daughter. She's almost 9. When I was in labor just before starting pushing, maybe around 7-8 centimeters dilated, my mom was talking to the mid-wife and was like "pleas cut her, don't let her tear". That mid-wife said "oh don't worry none of that will happen". She came back with a GALLON of Bertolli olive oil! She started pouring it all over my lady bits and went to town. My mom said it looked like she was kneading bread 😂 but guess what? I didn't tear and she didn't cut me. I didn't tear during my 2nd birth either.
I’ve had 4 babies... never did any “prep”. I only ever had 1 tiny tear with the second, and i believe that was because I went crazy with the pushing and I was on my hands and knees. The other 3 I had more controlled pushing and was on my back. I believe it’s more to do with allowing the baby’s head to slowly stretch things out as they are being birthed. But that’s just my belief based off my own 4 birth experiences.
That’s what I keep seeing people say, that they tear mostly when they rush pushing. I didn’t tear at all with my first but I pushed for 1 1/2 hours and my doctor was very patient with me while baby’s head was crowning
Awww thank you so much!! And hope your pregnancy went well and motherhood is being good to you! It's a wild/exhausting job but it's pretty darn great. :)
I’m glad you mentioned the fact that the stitching/repair should not be painful. In too many cases the doctor doesn’t numb adequately or even at all! It’s unconscionable. Please remind women and emphasize this whenever you can during your videos.
I'm 6weeks postpartum and I had 2nd degree tear. They numbed me but when he got to stitching my perineal skin, I felt everything. It hurts so bad. And my healing has been rough from feeling pain on the area to getting an infection and needing antibiotics.
@@cornishtea32 That’s really awful. So sorry you are going through this; hope you’re healed and feeling good soon. It stinks dr couldn’t stop and inject more local anesthetic. I do not understand why they keep going when their patient is in agony.
Can you please make a video going more into detail about perineal massage? How often, what products to use, how to do it? My boyfriend and I would love more info so we can do it properly when it’s time!
Hi Myrka. Here is a link to a guide on how to do perineal massage--there are pictures! Everything you want to know is at the bottom of page 2 into page 3!! www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/media/d0mimkeu/preventing-perineal-tears_sept21.pdf
I think it helps a lot to do the massage. I did it with both my pregnancies and had no tears. I did it once a day with coconut oil in the shower. I also brought my own water to the hospital (I do not like chlorine) and went through quiet a bit. It is annoying to have to pee so much but in my opinion keeping hydrated keeps your skin supply and more elastic.
Awesome video! It’s sad that in many countries episiotomy is still a daily practice, regardless of what the data says, done most of the time without the patient’s consent or knowledge just to reduce expulsion time and to make the doctor’s work more easy after birth as it is easier to repair a surgical cut than a “natural tear”. Massage on! 😊
Thanks for this video! My baby is 11 weeks old. I tried perineal massage toward the end of pregnancy but was not at all consistent about it. I ended up with a pretty standard second degree tear. I believe the nurse was massaging my perineum during pushing. Recovery has not been too bad; I don’t think I’ll have any long-term issues with urine leakage. However, it still hurts to insert things into my vagina (sex, tampons). Could you please address painful sex after giving birth and how to correct it, either in your postpartum perineal care video or in its own video? My doc suggested dilators to help loosen up the scar tissue, but I’m hesitant to try! I’d appreciate any resources you could share.
Yes to pelvic floor physical therapist. They are amazing and I agree I wish everyone could see one postpartum. Ask your OB for a referral!! And thank you for the video suggestion--postpartum sex would be a great topic as nobody talks about it!!
Thank you both for your content!! I'm 13 weeks with baby #3 but it's always good to watch new info and review and I have been loving your channel this time around. Sidenote, you look so pretty, Sarah!
To any mother out there, or person present with a delivering mother, this one is for you. After 3 (soon to be 4) homebirths, here are a few methods I believe helped me have zero tearing or bruising for my 2nd and 3rd birth. Fist let me say, i had tearing my first birth, however I feel like the degree could have been smaller if I did not listen to my midwife and push as hard as I could at the end. I went down onto one knee and kind of canon balled her out instead of allowing the gravity and my body to open. That being said, birth 2 and 3 were unassisted, just me and husband at home and this quiet space was so beautiful and intuitive. Most of the time was spent on the bathroom floor, hands and knees, towel underneith my knees, and a large stuffed animal/pillow or cushioned stool to lean into when contractions were hard. This provided a sense of "control" being on Top of the wave vs drowning sensation. It also helped me progress rather quickly into full dilation. I'm talking 3 hours vs 20 hours. Towards the end into transition I felt this extatic sensation to push and that's when my water broke. Then the babies came down through the cannal and both times there was no forced pushing, but instead a desire to almost slow down the baby. Still on my hands and knees, my tail bone naturally tucking and upper body slightly raised up as I provided counter pressure and aloud my labia to stretch and open, like a snake eating, however opposite. And finally a small push for the shoulders, but nothing too harsh. I swear the forced pushing is one of the most flawed recommendations. First this frustrates and exhausts a woman more then necessary. Second, there is a clear sign internally in the body that only the woman can detect. I hope this message can help even one person, especially someone in the medical field providing support for numerous woman.
Very helpful, thank you! I’m glad my doctor didn’t rush me to push even though they did have me on my back and kinda forcing the 10 second push thing to the point I needed oxygen because I couldn’t breathe. I pushed for a long time and they were patient with me, and I didn’t tear at all just a little graze near the lip
Have had 2 babies with no tearing. I was walking around throughout labour but delivered semi-reclined. First was 7lb 7, second was 8lb 9. I think a good midwife, guiding your pushes well, makes a big difference. (Not in the US) current midwife thinks anecdotally that personal skin type/elasticity is a big factor.
I had absolutely no tears with my first son. Is that normal to not tear at all? I'm currently pregnant with my second child. I'm hoping for no tears again.
To convince my husband to work with me on this with zero resistance, I plan to just drop some pictures of tears and episiotomies on him. 😉 (He's a great husband and has been super supportive, but I just wanna impress how important this is to me by scarring him lol. If I had to see it..... so does he.)
Hahahaha. I really love this approach (and am chuckling while reading your comment). Remind him he is also probably very invested in your vagina healing and recovering well ;)
