proving your relationship for views 

People will do literally anything except openly communicate with each other

The proper response to "can you peel an orange for me?" is, "that's a tangerine"

When my wife delivered our baby, I was really confused by the amount of praise that I received from the hospital staff. I don't think I did anything special, basically just took care of my child while my wife recovered. The bar should not be this low.

The ketchup one is insane. If my partner made a mess by accident, of course I'd help clean it up, they wouldn't have to ask. If I watched my partner take ketchup out of the fridge and look me in the eye as they purposefully squirt it on the counter, then demand that I "clean it up"... Obviously I'm not going to do that, at least not without an explanation as to why they've seemingly lost their mind all of a sudden. I would be alarmed and ask what's this all about? Then if I find out it's a test, I'd probably break up with them because I dont want to be in a relationship with someone who "tests" me by seeing how I react to them acting like an asshole... because acting like an asshole to test someone's loyalty makes you a worse kind of asshole.

If you need to film yourself testing your partner, you already know the answer.

I'm single and I won't peel an orange for myself

Surprised that you haven't gone over the "Don't pick your friend up at the airport" trend. It's not even a problem with romantic relationships anymore. Hustle culture has broken people.

I totally took the hobbies videos as "He doesn't have the time to cheat on me because his hobby takes all of it" and thought they were cute! I had never thought of it as "He's a loser and I'm a prize"

My husband has failed the orange peel test a hundred times by now. Instead of peeling an orange, he lets me peel it myself; but then he also washes the dishes every day, and helps me with laundry when I can't get to it, goes grocery shopping and has been such a good, tender dad to our baby. Yeah, he failed the orange peel test but I don't need it to know how he feels about me or how healthy our relationship is.

My grandmother told us that" You can't train thoughtful" which as I've grown I've learned to mean that you can't ask people to keep you in their thoughts, so be aware when people are expressing thoughtfulness and do the same in return. I'm going to add that you can't test thoughtfulness either. Be aware of red flags but don't test your partner because you're setting up your relationship into a pass/fail box.

You should look up the canned pumpkin guy. He was the source of the missing ingredients tests and it was RIDICULOUS. He went to the store to get stuff for thanksgiving or whatever and his wife forgot to put canned pumpkin on their grocery list when he knows she makes pumpkin bars every year, and instead of just grabbing it, he called his wife once, didn't get an answer, then bought everything else and just left the store. And when she called back and told him that, yeah, they do need canned pumpkin, he REFUSED to go back, saying that he was teaching her a lesson.

Watching all these commentary videos about TikTok drama really validate my decision to not be on social media besides YT

tiktok managed to come up with the pomegranate "theory" as well... they insist that, if your partner loves you, they'll take the time to gently get all the seeds out, rinse them, etc. (instead of whacking the pomegranate over a bowl, for example). i saw a video from this girl who, for whatever reason, asked her boyfriend to draw her a pomegranate instead... and apparently she was upset because he drew it with the skin still on. the drawing was genuinely lovely, and if my partner drew me something with that much care i would honestly just start crying.

One time my partner got too drunk, threw up all over the bathroom. I walked in to find him trying to clean it up with toilet paper and had to convince him to go lay down so I could clean up because he wanted to help and felt so bad about me cleaning it up myself. He just kept apologizing, during and after. Now it's just kind of a funny story. But instead of testing your partner, maybe just look to the past to situations and how they've handled them??

Ive heard of the "would you still love me if i was a worm" and the "i want a baby" tests because those were turned into memes that made their way to tumblr, but like i never thought people were taking them seriously and escalating it all to this degree. My dude, your relationship is not a hidden camera reality show.

i always tell my boyfriend "there's a new tiktok relationship test!" and he acts like it's a gameshow and he's like "DO IT TO ME!!" and then i ask him the question or whatever and he gives his answer, and then we talk about how silly and most of the time bare minimum it all is.

Honestly I think the "does he buy pasta/does he call me" is silly. Unless we're having a specific meal that calls for a specific pasta, I just assume I have pasta at the house, because that is almost always true. I do that for myself. If someone sent me to the store with everything for pasta but no pasta on the list, I wouldn't buy it. I would assume you have some. If someone gives you a list of the things they need at the store, I don't think it's incompetent to take their word for it.

If someone took a topless photo of me and posted it to the group chat I would never talk to that person again. I understand the mentality of oh she's giving birth, but giving birth is a very vulnerable time and I would hope a person's partner would want to protect their partner's privacy.

I've not finished the video yet but I've always found that the health/happiness of a relationship is inversely proportional to how much of it you see on social media

Having to give a reason why you are single kind of implies that you have to do something to be single when that really isn't the case. You can have a reason but you don't need one. It's the default until you do something to start a relationship.

As a gay man, its always been genuinely disturbing to me how normalized toxic relationships between het couples are so agressively normalized in almost every fasset of life. The bickering couple trope on most TV, passive jokes about truly despising the one you're married to/dating, the idea that a man and woman hating each other inevitably leads to a relationship, and ofc every husband or boyfriend who expects to be coddled and praised as if the woman were his mother. I shouldn't feel like I dodged a bullet just by not being straight, standards for het relationships NEED to be higher than they are.

I ask my cat to peel me an orange. He obviously doesn’t love me 😒

When I started dating my husband I thought it was so weird that he wasn’t on any social media. Turns out he was ahead of the curve.

Every time I feel lonely being ace, I look at these 'relationship tests' tiktoks, and I feel lucky that I don't have a partner asking me to peel an orange under the veiled threat of tiktok-approved break-up.

The weirdest orange test I've seen is one where she says "I feel like an orange" - and he's just down for a deep discussion about what that feels like. Which was apparently the wrong answer?

I've been single for so long I forgot that people in relationships are not automatically happy. Thanks for the reminder.

The only thing that the ‘peel my orange’ content has done for me is make me crave citrus. I’ve gone through a whole bag of oranges

the grocery store list question thing stems from a husband who made a video on tiktok about how his wife was going to make a pumpkin pie or cake or something, and she sent him to the store with a list but pumpkin puree was not on the list and he had the thought that she would need it so he called her to ask, but she was busy and didn't answer so he didn't buy it and then she called back when he was out of the store and in the parking lot and he told her why he called and she was like oh yeah i do need it could you go back and he said no because she needed to be taught a lesson about putting things on lists and answering the phone when he calls and she had to go to the store to get it herself. the big thing was that he framed it like can you guys believe my idiot wife, and so women asked their partners if they got sent to the store with a list and something they thought she would need was not on it and she didn't answer a phone call, if they would buy it.

I literally don’t understand “testing” your partner. In my humble opinion that makes YOU the problem. Like communication is great and works. Everyday I’m so grateful for my dad, we lived a traditional family household. So my mum stayed at home and my dad worked. But if my mum was away, sick, or just over stressed my dad was right there to pick up the slack. He learned to do mine and my sisters hair, he made sure as soon as he got home from work the laundry would get done and meals got prepared. My dad worked at 9-5 Monday to Friday, but he made sure if my mum couldn’t perform her job for whatever reason he would be right there for her work double time. I remember one week in my childhood my mum was so sick she literally couldn’t leave bed, my dad would be up at 4am making sure us 4 kids had lunch for the day, got us dressed, drove us to school, went to work, skipped his lunch break so he could pick us up, went back to work, came home, made dinner, helped my younger brother and I have a bath, read to us, tucked us in bed. And right when he thought he could take a small break and yah know get some rest. I myself threw up and he was with me the whole night making sure I was okay. This was day 2 of my mum being sick. My dad isn’t perfect but I know without a shadow of a doubt he loves my mum. Because to him he does not remember this week, as he says “why would taking care of my wife and kids be a stand out week. I chose to marry your mum and I chose to have 4 kids, I chose to be the breadwinner along with being a husband and a father that is all my job”.

the orange peel test seemed weird to me because wouldn't you know if your partner would do it for you based on how they treat you regularly? like I know my partner would do it for me if I asked because of all the small things he does for me daily (getting me water without me asking, helping me do different things, offering to do things for me, etc.)

God that puzzle one made my stomach drop. It was just so so mean

If you feel a need to test your partner in the first place, you probably know deep down something isn’t right… In a real loving relationship you make things EASIER for each other. You help each other, you clarify things. If something is wrong you talk it out, you don’t “test each other” for millions of people to see…

People using "will my bf peel my orange" as a test is so weird. Imagine being a couple's therapist and you ask them why they are there and they reply "he didnt peel my orange, can you believe that?!"

The true relationship test is when you dont instigate it but when it happens naturally.

I'm glad Amanda exists to tell me what's going on on TikTok so I never need to download TikTok

I deleted tiktok for so many reasons but easy peasy, the top reason was relationship tiktoks!!! Literally made me so anxious and paranoid about my relationship over shit that didn't even matter, the constant " signs hes cheating " , " he loves you if he.." , etc. is so toxic :/

No one should make you feel bad about being single! I turn 34 this year and I’m still single, for similar reasons. I’ve been busy with other things, and I don’t like anyone very often. It’s not a big deal 🤷‍♀️

It’s not just tiktok it’s everywhere. I got ate up when I told someone they can only adjust their own actions and if they don’t want to divorce they need to make changes to their own actions, words, or what they accept in their life. I think this trend stems from the cultural expectation and indoctrination of women to accept subpar love, attention, affection etc. there are many reasons why we make women feel this way and this is like (hopefully) a transition period where we stop allowing these things.

This entire video is an aromantic mood

Making a mess and then ordering someone to clean it up is infuriating.

All I keep thinking about is how my relationship with my partner improved by bounds after I started therapy. Not even just for trying to deal the mental illnesses and trauma, but with just learning how to talk about emotions. And our relationship beforehand wasn’t bad at all. This just. We communicate so clearly now, we thought we communicated before but this is wayyy better. I think a lot of people could benefit from therapy in this way.

19:11 Even if it's not FAKE per se, it's a well known thing that people will behave differently if they know they're being observed + by how many people. It's something you read about if you take a class on experiment design. The boyfriends are going to act weird because they may not know exactly what the intended result is, but they know they might end up on tiktok.

This kind of stuff makes me even more afraid of dating as an autistic person

One of my favorite things about the orange peel thing is all the autistic ppl on TikTok saying that they didn't know they're supposed to do it because their partner didn't ask them directly to do it lol.

swell, i just turned spinster age. we could be 18th century living partners who history will say were best friends.

Thank you for being on Tiktok so I don’t have to. I appreciate it

The puzzle one wasn't a joke as far as I remember, it was her ex and she'd already left him

it’s funny that you say “baking bread on a tuesday” and I’m kneading dough while watching on a tuesday

I’m SO glad there’s a name for what I experienced in terms of ‘weaponised incompetence’. It’s so frustrating, and I can’t even begin to explain how demeaning it is to wake up one day and realise ‘oh my god, I’m his mother now’.

The orange thing is so hilarious to me because my partner hates sticky things, so if they asked me for an orange I would of course peel it for them... but what's more likely is that I'd peel an orange for myself because I wanted one, and they'd open their mouth while sitting next to me for a slice to be deposited

amaanda explaining why she's single right now is honestly the most accurate bisexual dating experience right now

If my partner sent me to the store and didn't put something on the list, even if it went together with the rest of the list, I doubt I would buy it! I'd probably assume we already had enough. In fact, I've accidentally bought that type of ingredient before and found out we already had a bunch at home and it didn't get used in time and we had to throw it out. I don't feel like not automatically buying a "missing" ingredient is "failing to follow simple instructions." And I'm a woman, if that matters.

The puzzle video broke my heart. You can see the pain and disappointment in her eyes. Also, the "you're not that special" orange video. Also, Amanda, I would still watch if you were a worm.

I feel like if my boyfriend asked me to get him an orange I wouldn’t think to peel it. If he squirted ketchup and asked me to clean it up I would be horrified. If he filmed me and posted it publicly without my knowledge so I can be scrutinized by strangers online, I would break up with him. I also get that there is an assumption of labor imbalances within male/female relationships because of how people assume women have been socializing to take the brunt of chores but that’s just not always true. I am a total trash goblin in comparison to my boyfriend. I am caring and loving but I just don’t take note of certain domestic acts the same way he does. And I’m not a worse partner or worse girlfriend, or even more, a worse WOMAN, because of it. Lots of people will fail tests like these and it’s not a sign of how much someone cares.

I had a baby about a month ago. It's been an interesting experience. I was in the hospital for 3 days before inducing labor. Those days, husband was going home to sleep, care for the cats, and bring in rushed baby purchases, instead of sleeping on the "dad couch" the night before I had the worst possible heartburn possibly other symptoms but I was scared because it was something I never felt before. He comforted me to sleep, and we agreed that it was time for him to move into the room with me. His parents agreed to take care of our pets while we were away. Baby arrived and would spend a few weeks in NICU. I was more incapacitated because I had to be on drugs that made me dizzy. I had an IV in my hand because I ran out of places to be poked, and couldn't use my dominant hand. He would literally hold one of the breast pumps for me. He's done more of the child care because I temporarily can't. A NICU nurse thought I had postpartum depression because I'm introverted, and wasn't doing as much of the cares for our baby. No, I just don't want to end up on the floor and readmitted to the hospital for fainting.

There’s an NPR episode (can’t remember the show) that covers women going on strike because they feel undervalued. It really emphasized on how household things tends to fall upon women of the household.

The ketchup thing was sad in the video I saw, she just said hey I spilled some can you wipe it away I am busy, and the spread it all over the counter while 'cleaning' and then said well why do you ask me to do that and then complain when its not the way you want it, while he literally could clean it up like any functional adult andade it in a way that the whole counter had to be cleaned insted of that little drop

Hearing about this orange peel test makes me sad 😭😭😭 my fiancé and I’s thing has been him always peeling oranges for me since we started dating three years ago. We both love oranges and he started it naturally. Our wedding vows are going to include us sharing an orange and peeling it together In return I make him tea and fill his water bottle. Oranges are just big symbols to us!

The thing that got me about the orange peeling, I saw one video of a girl asking her boyfriend, he said no and she replied "but I hate the feeling", and all I could think is 'what if he also hates the feeling? are guy not allowed to have sensory issues too?' If someone asked me to peel an orange, I would assume they have some reason as to not be able to (like having just gotten their nails done or just struggling with it) and I would do it even though it also gives me sensory issues and I don't like doing it. So if afterwards, I found out they were capable but just filming a tiktok to 'test me', I would absolutely feel betrayed and it would make me hesitant to do other things they asked because what if they're just testing me. And yes, I figure in a relationship you do just do silly little tasks for each other because you want to and I may also be single, but I do this stuff with friends, and I would still feel betrayed to know it's a setup. It also makes me feel like they'd be laughing behind my back or talking my back and I HATE that.

Just sat down for lunch, ty swell

I've been in the same relationship for 10 years, basically since highschool. We both think we would die in the dating game if we were single at this point in time. I just would simply not participate. I feel so SO bad for every genuine person out there trying to find a partner in this hellscape.

The puzzle one makes me so sad because I love puzzles and I would literally cry if someone did that, specially my boyfriend. I'd never be able to look at him the same way.

omg when that third tiktoker chimed in to explain the hetero couple's story i wanted to go to space. why am i existence????

I'm glad you called out those "Tell me your man won't cheat on you" videos cause I personally hate them so much. Each time the guy looks so genuinely happy their lady asks them about their hobbies that it's just sad af that they're low key being made fun of.

thank you so much for making this video. I've cut most of social media out of my life, sans for what I have to use it for for work stuff. besides that, I now completely avoid relationship videos because it was such a trigger point for me while I was working through a hard period of time in my own relationship. we're in such a good place now, not just because of the work we've done but because I'm no longer looking for videos of ppl being like "here's what MY partner does every day to make me feel loved" when my partner doesn’t do that, but does other things to make me feel loved.

All that test content on tiktok sent me into a spiral with my partner. We've been together for 4.5 years and I've never had a complaint! All those stupid trends is what made me stop using tiktok. I was questioning everything he was or wasn't doing and when, what I was doing and when. It made me feel like I was in a contest! I've since apologized to him but I've never been so influenced by anything in my life before!! I can't even believe I was acting like that. I appreciate all the grace he gave me during that time

I agree with the video thing to a point...I have horrible mental health and physical health issues and my husband has, for the past decade, been my absolute rock. He takes such good care of me, and I try to do the same for him. We dated for five years before we got married, and our marriage day was a comedy of errors. I was so beyond stressed by the time we got to the vows, and he saw it and wanted to try to do his best to make me feel better. In his autistic brain, what made the most sense in that moment was to make me laugh. So he started ad libbing a little bit to the vows. "For better... and most definitely for worse." "In sickness and in health... but we all know it will mostly be sickness." The preacher told him to stick to the script, and it got a few chuckles from everybody present, including me. If anyone had a short clip of that moment, I could see how people who didn't know him or me or our relationship would think he was being a jerk, when he was just trying to make me laugh and de-stress. Sometimes clips don't really tell the whole story of a relationship or a situation.

There is a qoute I like to keep in mind which is "the kind of confidence that comes from competence, not arrogance" Which basically means you should not be confident just to feel confident you should have a reason to be confident and that reason should be your competence. Seeing these examples of 'relationships' has given me a new one "the kind of confidence that comes from other's incompetence" hoh oh boy. I got issues but I am a catch if these people are anything to go by. Lets go!

Swell Shenanigans lore drop! I never even thought about your orientation lol

I think part of the orange peel test thing is that a lot of women like to one-up eachother by doing these tests to prove that their SO is better than other people's SO's and then they sit on their couch giving themselves a pat on the back because it reaffirms their own sense of self 🤷‍♀ We've had this kind of comparing since the beginning of time with the comparison of how much partners make, what they do, how accomplished they are, etc.

Single. Don't have to ask permission. Don't have to ask what they want to eat. Can ignore the holiday of expensive meals.

Barefoot, pregnant, bacon bread on a Tuesday lol

Swell getting very subtly frustrated in this way is inexplicably hilarious

That puzzle tiktok made me instantly furious.

baffled by the shopping list test. why would he think to get something on the list that wasn't there. idk if my partner gave me a list i would assume that they had competently listed all of the things that we need to get at the store instead of second guessing them and if my boyfriend came back from the store without the thing i didn't put on the list i wouldn't blame him for thinking i'd checked and deliberately excluded it

22:04 I wonder if this test is in response to the comedian who bragged about how he refused to get pumpkin because his wife did not explicitly tell him that she needs PUMPKIN in order to make PUMPKIN bars. She was busy, so couldn't drop everything when he called. He refused to text her, even though he KNEW she would see it, and he refused to buy a can of pumpkin (which is dirt cheap and lasts forever) unless his wife dropped everything, called him, and explicitly told him that PUMPKIN BARS contain pumpkin.

Some of these just feel like a power trip man, and also some of these feel like they could veer into ableist territory (ie, the 'grocery list' test, where someone purposely leaves out an ingredient that's needed to see if their partner will just KNOW its needed. As someone with adhd i can forget things and sometimes i straight up dont realize "oh i need x thing" unless its written down)

My daughter's dad and i aren't in a relationship but we're best friends and cohabitate to raise her together. I stay home to see to get education and take care of the house but occasionally go and work side jobs on the weekends. I like having the opportunity to make a little extra money to add to our house budget order to save up for something that I just want to get myself without having to dip into the house budget. HOWEVER part of me dreads it because i know, without fail, every time i come home from working, I'm going to have to clean because inevitably the house will be dirty. I'm really not 100% sure he knows how to clean at this point. We just had a big coming to Jesus moment because he made a little joke at my expense about how I keep the house and it wasn't the first time he had. I told him if he didn't feel like I was doing a good job then I would just stop taking care of things and he could do his own dishes and his own laundry and pick up the house on his own after he got off of work which we both know he won't do and after a week we would see how he felt about my housekeeping abilities. He has not made another joke about it since. ✌️🖕

I thought that the "show me why your boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you without telling me why your boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you" was more about the hobbies being more interesting to the guys than other girls. I assumed it was pro lovable nerd not anti, maybe I'm wrong.

weaponized incontinence > weaponized incompetence

If Amanda chooses to have a parter in the near future, I would absolutely love Spider-Man suit style anonymity if their arm appears in the video or something incidentally lmao. Especially if it’s badly CGI’d on top? 10/10

If canned pumpkin wasn't on the list I would assume we already had it. One thanksgiving everyone assumed they were ones who were supposed to by the canned pumpkin and we ended up with five cans.

Honestly being a spinster is very iconic. You only have to worry and care about yourself and get to do whatever you want on your schedule. And I think that's something to brag about.

Okay the "test" that involves the grocery stores makes *no* sense to me. Am I insane for thinking that if it ain't on the list we have it at home? Or just like, ask at home when you are given the list if there's something that seems off? Is it because I'm neurodivergent that I think like this? I'm asking this as someone who's AFAB. The rest of the "tests" I can at least figure out why people would get upset over x result.

My jaw’s been agape when I saw videos of girls coaching their boyfriends if another girl even came up to greet them and basically expecting to stonewall the person. When I mentioned how expecting that showed either you have trust issues, have a reason not to trust your partner, or don’t trust your social spaces to respect the boundaries of your relationship, I got a lot of people just reenforcing how it was normal to expect your boyfriend to cut off female friendships. Sometimes it really feels like a whole different concept in queer spaces (the cliche that we’re never fully monogamous) but I was dumbfounded when for me even in my first relationship, my boyfriend and I easily trusted very affectionate platonic relationships. It’s not trying to say it’s all perfect but there’s always a point when I hop out of that bubble and interact with heteronormative culture to see these really horrible dynamics; both men who don’t respect their partners or even just women in their lives and women who hype up their underperforming guys but also have it ingrained in them how to only really expect worse of them and even treating cheating just an inevitability if you’re not guarding them. When I saw the orange peel trend, at points I was sympathetic because it’s this want for a small act of love, in some sense bringing it up makes them consider down the road how it’s something you like, and literally I do have people in my life who peel an orange and give me part of it and it’s heartwarming when it happens. Songs like “We’ll never have sex” are popular for the same reasons because of how receiving acts of love in bad relationships are just transactions for what the other person wants later. But ironically they’re equally making it transactional by bringing in the third party of social media, so many of the videos had them smugly acting coy and glancing at the camera alerting to how something was off and you hear how uncomfortable their partners are from it. The validation isn’t for their partner, it’s for social media. Whatever the outcome it will result in some gratification from the viewers for his relationship performance. I think the internet has reached a point where it really needs to be something people have a conversation on in their relationships. As an artist, it is basically required I be some sort of online personality and around other artists it’s basically a given that all of you might show of your personal life very candidly with there being a whole yearly tradition to autobio your day the first day of February(what timing). The moment I was looking at a potential relationship outside the space of a media maker, it was hard to grasp that they didn’t want their life put out there. It made me have to sit a moment needing partners who could understand that I would be willing to not put them on blast without their permission but would need to understand in return that I would be near constantly online and that content making could bleed into everyday life. And that’s as someone whose brand isn’t tied to their real face like it is with the average TikTok star. I’m always worried these days if people truly understand if they want to be social media personalities and how to not curate their lives so visibly online.

Not a test, at least not purposefully, my husband always sasses me when I aggressively open things. I am a nail girly and have had my nails done religiously for years now and will sometimes break a nail 😞 So he always volunteers to open/peel/unbox anything I might struggle with. 😊

I know that this is selfish of me ok, but I am 100% GRATEFUL about what she said at the end lol. A few of my favorite RU-vidrs have permanently incorporated their partners into their videos, and I'm very happy for them, but I tend to only watch content of ONE person talking because it's easiest to follow along as BG noise. I have to look at the screen more with two people so my watch time accidentally drops on collaboration vids 😓

I took the act of peeling an orange for someone as doing small things for you to make you smile, like ten equivalent of when you ask for water and they add ice as well, or cutting the crust off of sandwiches.

Once again you are my link to TikTok and finding out wtf is going on over there. As you were describing a lot of these "tests" I found myself getting a bit stressed because I'm terrible with unspoken rules and knowing what people want from me if they don't say it. Even just the orange test seems like something I'd "fail" because I don't like other people touching my food so I wouldn't want to do it to someone else. Hopefully very few people take these things seriously and strange "tests" alone aren't commonly used to figure out if someone cares about you.

I honestly don't understand relationship tests, there are enough stressors and difficulties built into life that will show your partner's character without you manufacturing them (and looking like a psycho while you're at it). Also, stop putting relationships on blast online (and in public). If you feel you need to humiliate your partner to get them to behave the way you want, you should break up instead.

I'm single because as Whoopi Goldberg once said "I don't want somebody in my house"

As soon as you need to "test" your partner, there's something wrong. I wouldn't care if my wife asked for an orange, or even wanted me to peel it, but if she were to ask it as a "test" we've already failed. I don't care if it's recorded or not, there's something wrong and we obviously missed some discussion along the way.

I’ve never been more happy to be the Tumblr kind of terminally online instead of the TikTok kind because the concept of “I’m having some deep relationship issues that should be resolved by communication, counseling, breakups, or police, but instead I’ll just post to TikTok” is blowing my mind

hello fellow spinster! I have chosen the single with cats life because i haven't seen a marriage that seems happy and healthy. Could it be confirmation bias? Maybe. Could it be my problematic commitment issues that i haven't dealt with? that probably doesn't help. But i don't want a man-child as a partner. So i shall stay single surrounded by my mountain of cats

17:49 The context and introduction you gave was truly inspiring, I found it convincing and academic! Earlier generations had things like “The Door Test” from A Bronx Tale, and nowadays the meathead, dudebro stuff I get from the algorithm instructs me “just tell her yes, if you were a worm I’d put you in my pocket and take you where you wanna go” with ZERO context.

I think videos like this are entirely why I wouldn't want to be in a relationship, why would I want to be with someone who thinks broadcasting everything is the solution instead of a mediator or therapist

Literally any of these situations would result in my boyfriend just looking at me and going 'are you ok? do we need to talk about something?' because they all just show that you're insecure about something.

I think a lot of people assume weaponized competence for people they see online instead of just straight up, not knowing how to do something properly. My mom was very thorough with teaching us how to clean and holding us to a high standard. My husband's mom did all of the chores, except for laundry which my husband can do on his own perfectly well. A lot of people will not learn how to do something unless they are forced to do it. That's the reason why a lot of people dont know how to cook, because they didn't or dont have to. I think we could all do with throwing the benefit of the doubt to people online since we dont know them

I would never be in a relationship with someone who is addicted to social media. It's one thing to scroll for a bit and check and respond and make content, but it's another thing when that's your entire personality. Not everything needs to be a test or be a post. We're on this floating rock for a miniscule amount of time, and I'd rather spend that with the person I love than burying our heads in our phones. Maybe that's too "old fashion" at this point.

A lot of people do exaggerate when they are making content about their partners and their "weaponised incompetence", but weaponised incompetence does exist and it is a huge red flag that can lead to other things that can end a relationship. I know someone that years ago she was recently married and pregnant and she worked in a place where she had to commute almost 2 hours to get to work (2 hours each way) and every day she would come home to the house being a mess and no food whatsoever in the fridge. Then she would ask him if he could make at least something simple like some rice or pasta so she could eat something when she arrived (again, she was pregnant and with a 2 hour commute) and he would say he didn't know how to make anything. And when she tried teaching him how to cook something basic he would do stuff like burning the food or salting it too much just to say "I'm not good at it, you should do it". That was just the beginning of the red flags on their marriage and she divorced him a few years later.