Psychological Abuse Within Infidelity

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How would react if someone started assaulting your mate?
I know I am going to be very divisive this week, and make a lot of people uncomfortable. But abuse is an uncomfortable topic. However, by discussing abusive behaviors and giving people knowledge and the ability to bring these behaviors out into the light we can heal them, work through them, and overcome them on our recovery journey. While this week I am directing my message more towards the unfaithful, and I know not everyone is guilty of these but please know I am not trying to shame anyone (as I am also guilty of this).
I started this message with a question. I hope your answer is that you would go ballistic and defend your mate with utmost passion. But what about the abuse you have committed against your mate. Are you willing to defend them with the same vigor?
Lying, minimizing, threatening, intimidating, saying they over reacting, manipulating, controlling, and gaslighting are all types of psychological abuse.
This week I dive deep into this challenging and uncomfortable topic as well as provide insights on how to address it as its necessary for healing.
To healing,
Rick Reynolds
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Infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW, is one of America’s foremost authorities on helping individuals and couples struggling with affairs and compulsive sexual behaviors. He is Founder and President of AffairRecovery.com, the first company to offer anonymous worldwide online group support for those impacted by infidelity. Reynolds holds a Master's Degree in Social Work and is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In 1992, Reynolds developed and began leading “affair recovery groups.” He received his Master's of Social Work from the University of Denver and completed three years of post-graduate training at the Colorado Institute for Marriage and Family Therapy. He has also worked at the nationally-known Minirth-Meier Tunnel & Wilson Clinic before moving on to private practice: www.affairreco...

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26 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 40

@mscarol1901 6 месяцев назад

Finally, someone says that an affair is actually being abusive to the betrayed spouse. Thank you!

@tobeytristan9534 5 месяцев назад

Mocking, manipulating, Gaslighting, minimizing, dismissive, Stonewalling, cutoff to take away my ability to express myself , to avoid accountability

@cynthiadelgado1317 5 месяцев назад

That happened to me for a few months. It stopped when my husband started watching Dr. Weiss’ videos. We’re going to start a long term therapy program in May.

@kellytoney6625 6 месяцев назад

Finally someone is explaining what I have been living with for decades

@saundracohen4032 6 месяцев назад

And taking away your partner's ability to consent.....thank you for discussing this topic!

@monstermommy8100 5 месяцев назад

I absolutely am so grateful for this video. As a daughter, wife, mother, and grandmother I have a request. Can we please pay more attention and include the fact that as mothers and grandmothers we are trying to raise children and help raise grandchildren all while dealing with this abuse? How can we even raise normal children anymore? This exactly why everyone is talking about generational trauma. What does all of this do to our children who will become Mothers and Fathers one day? The damage has run so deep, it has become the normal. Our society is sick. It is damaged. And we talk about marriage and relationships and betrayal and infidelity and cheating and abuse and faith and faithlessness and forgiveness-and we talk about children-but we rarely talk about the two in one sentence, let alone one conversation. Yes. My husband damaged me. Yes my father damaged me. Yes. I am damaged, and I am one of millions. But what has this done to my children? What has the damage done to me as a woman trying to be a mother? What effect does that have on my children? I left my first husband after an affair. Raised my two girls alone. Met another man, the son of Christian missionaries, we married had two children together-two children that I preceded to raise alone. He is a drunk. He lies he cheats-pornography prostitutes you name it. Saves pictures of his friends wives and girlfriends on his phone. Pictures-sometimes naked-that they send him. Pornographic pictures of girls the same age as his own 25 yo child. My husband is a mess-but to the men this is all normal. The sad thing is that I dismissed it all until my son turned 10. I said I’m fine. I’m healing, I’m fixing. And I realize it’s unfixabke at this point. And I asked myself-how does a boy turn into a man? Who helps them? How do I help him? These problems are bigger than a RU-vid channel. Crazy. I know. To most people when I say these things they say I’m not normal, but I am. And I appreciate all that you offer.

@southernroots3896 6 месяцев назад

I appreciate this particular video more than you can imagine ❤ it’s my current experience and the pain of going through this is devastating, soul murder. Thank you for posting this, especially today when I needed it most

@scorpio_risingdclown5517 6 месяцев назад

This video came at the exact perfect moment! Thank you for the validation!

@southernroots3896 6 месяцев назад

Ditto ❤

@danijohnston5430 6 месяцев назад

This is SO validating. Thank you.

@lucaslouzada44 6 месяцев назад

Great speech. It’s a very spot on starting point.

@victoriagrow30 6 месяцев назад

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! THANK YOU FOR SAYING THISSS

@elle7813 6 месяцев назад

Great video. So true!

@LittleEvil-13 6 месяцев назад

I’m sending this to my husband right now 😢

@sarahschmidt3297 6 месяцев назад

I'm beyond grateful for the wisdom I obtain from all of you 🙏 You have undoubtedly helped me through some of the darkest days I've ever known.

@ITSRAYANNNN Месяц назад

Unfortunately, some people are so stubborn and stuck in their ways that they'll never watch this because they think that you're harassing them or attacking their character or they have no intention or want to change it all. instead they manipulate you and say it's your fault for feeling the way you do

@gcobisaduna_siziba 6 месяцев назад

One day when I am out of his life, my husband will one day understand the abuse I endure with him..

@4give7 6 месяцев назад

This video is much appreciated Rick!

@paulagabauer322 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for stepping out!

@don66hotrod94 6 месяцев назад

It's been forty years and I still have not gotten past the betrayal. Still don't completely trust her. Still get triggered.

@cynthiadelgado1317 6 месяцев назад

Trust is broken!! You die in the inside!!!

@KennethJames-c4p 6 месяцев назад

Im struggling with her anger telling me what she believes i did . When i know it was not . Yes the shame if overwhelming..yes i shut up and back away .not talking now is a lie .not remembering the order is lieing .. i want to be transparent.. i want to stop her pain ..and my shame ..

@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 Месяц назад

This is going to be hard to hear but please hear me. Her anger is a sign that you have more work to do, it is a sign your perspective still has holes in it. She is accusing you of stuff because there is still not enough trust in the relationship for her to believe you. You fix the trust, that behavior of hers will go away. What have you done to be transparent with her? What have you done in your recovery process? Do you ask her everyday if there is anything about your porn use and/ or affair that she wants to talk about?

@Firefly-LitWithin 10 дней назад

@@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 Are you assuming this man is guilty of porn use or an affair? Maybe I missed something?

@polarosoman 6 месяцев назад

SO MUCH WISDOM. GREAT VIDEO RICK. ONE OF THE BEST.

@mylifefornom.4588 6 месяцев назад

Are you going to make a video like this for the men who are being abused as well?

@richardwhittaker6216 6 месяцев назад

Absolutely needed

@4give7 6 месяцев назад

Apply the exact same information to women. This behavior is abusive coming from a male or female - coming from any person! He's a male talking about accountability for himself and other males. This obviously applies to whomever the cheater is!

@kerrymillar1267 5 месяцев назад

The same applies both ways, sorry if you’ve been through this.

@andrewbender9399 20 дней назад

@4give7 you are right. We just hold out for some validation that comes from someone we can more appropriately identify regarding the gender and grievances held.

@cewilliamsable 2 месяца назад

I absolutely hate that its assumed its the man being unfaithful. 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️ Especially when women are cheating at an alarming rate these days with the help of the internet. The fact that he keeps saying "her" as if shes the betrayed is extremely triggering to male betrayeds. I cant listen to this...

@danapet1 2 месяца назад

Because it's predominantly women who come to this site for help. Not men. So they are speaking to their primary audience.

@david1hill Месяц назад

I completely understand. I was betrayed by my wife and I found the placement of her and him in this video very very jarring and difficult to listen to. I had to keep stopping the video. I can tell you that the courses offered at Affair Recovery don't make this mistake. There are courses and material for the betrayed men and women and for unfaithful women and men. Check them out - not just the videos, but the courses too. It really helped me

@maxgoodwin4438 5 месяцев назад

I'm dealing with the end of an almost 39-year marriage because he had a sexual relationship with a gay man. I don't know how to deal with this emotionally on a daily basis. I feel like a bi-polar person must feel. Even after I spoke to the man and he told me the truth, my husband still lied. I even have 6 hears worth of text messages between them and my husband taking negatively about me to others, calls me crazy a lot.