Thank you for the video. I was already manic/anxious and somewhat depressed prior to my recent diagnose of SLE. I am still in process of dealing with this mix emotion. I hope recognising how I am feeling leads me to the betterment, or at least that's what I am hoping.
I guess this thing is something that I have been suffering with (along with anxiety which I must watch) and with the onslaught of diagnosis which when I look back on it seems to have been triggered by a PTSD episode at work with regards to a really difficult boss which even 7 years on still haunts me - a lot of things do I guess. It's been such a gradual thing really. First it was that I suddenly couldn't eat certain foods but those foods multiplied, my pain tolerance diminished substantially and I couldn't move as I used to. Each time I tried to recover, I'd be pushed back into an even worse state. Even if I'm sounding melodramatic, it feels as if I've been destroyed and it's had it's impact on me. I think the worst for me is that I can't cycle a bike anymore without feeling a twinge of pain. There's a level of acceptance but it still hurts to be seen as the same person I was 10 years ago when in reality I'm not. Certain traits have bled over but at times I feel incredibly alone and have a sleeping schedule that decides on its own terms. What I can say is that by deciding to plunge myself deep into reading French books give me a sense of accomplishment I would never thought possible (and definitely not something I feel I could easily do in my previous life as a minimum wage earner). I definitely can't say I enjoy sunlight as it often makes my condition worse but I have sunglasses that minimise certain aspects of it. However, I'm grateful this video is up because it's a calming presence so I would like to thank you for this. I always end up "writing essays" on here but it helps me cope.
![Psychology of Chronic Illness: Making it Normal [Part 3: Depression]](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
