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Putin's Draft Is Going As Badly As His War | NASA Knows How To Celebrate! 

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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28 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 3,2 тыс.   
@mostrecenthero
@mostrecenthero 2 года назад
I ❤️ and will always ❤️ these monologues. In 2 months, I hope things change for the better for 🌎 and for now I hope everyone in Florida is able to stay as safe as possible.
@TechReviewbyIrdi
@TechReviewbyIrdi 2 года назад
I live by where Fetterman and Braddock. He was a pillar in the community. Still resonates everywhere. He is a no nonsense guy that just wants better. He also worked really hard in the community. I would rather have someone that has been around the block, fixed the block, and made that block better than a hack Dr. that's not grounded by reality. How the hell can Dr. Oz even help Pa. if he never did anything here?
@patrickirishcharm6354
@patrickirishcharm6354 2 года назад
Fetterman ✔️
@zachnasr9911
@zachnasr9911 2 года назад
Dr. Oz also lives in New Jersey! He's just coasting on his sparse fame and Trump's coattails. His whole campaign is a joke with no punchline 😆
@ChristophBrinkmann
@ChristophBrinkmann 2 года назад
But but but but but Oz is Christian Republican!!! That's important, somehow! And you know why? REASONS!!!!!
@naturaliscontentus5914
@naturaliscontentus5914 2 года назад
@@zachnasr9911 Sorry, if you actually listen to Dr. OZ he makes a lot more sense and seems a lot less corrupt. Do your research. Fetterman is going to get trounced in debate. "Dr. Oz: Fetterman is dodging debates to hide his radical record"
@Dontleavemedimi
@Dontleavemedimi 2 года назад
Betterment for president
@itsalgud1459
@itsalgud1459 2 года назад
Stephen really nailed it tonight. He got everybody dead on and it was hilarious doing it. My hat is off to him.
@AkumakoCross
@AkumakoCross 2 года назад
In regards to the tampons for bullet wounds, that’s actually what they were originally for. They started being used as sanitary products when the war nurses in WWI or II (I forget which) had to deal with their periods with limited resources, and they went “hey, you know what’s kinda similar in shape to a bullet wound?” and that’s roughly how tampons became the bane of men.
@mariag.8242
@mariag.8242 2 года назад
Not so much shape as staunching a lot of blood.
@masterroshen841
@masterroshen841 Год назад
True about the tampons and as an infantry vet I can tell you that our medic did keep some on hand for if we got shot.
@eriksigalraven8340
@eriksigalraven8340 Год назад
How about using convicted pedophiles and cannibals as draftees? And giving them amnesty? Thats what russian government does - thats what westerners not mention
@0HARE
@0HARE 2 года назад
Comedy creativity and social commentary at it’s finest! Stephen, you rock!
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 2 года назад
he does rock. it's comedy at its finest.
@jamiecanney6973
@jamiecanney6973 2 года назад
loved em on the Colbert report on the daily show he was brill
@felinecontrolled
@felinecontrolled 2 года назад
Love how Oz was booed more than the guy threaten nuclear war.
@WaywardVet
@WaywardVet 2 года назад
Yeah, that tampon hack... That's a real thing. They didn't mention the important part. Get to a surgeon fast. It slows the bleeding but it's a time bomb for septis, so you traded hemhorragic shock for septic shock. You bought time, that's all. But the clock is ticking.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@WaywardVet
@WaywardVet 2 года назад
@@ElCapAddict It is dumb. Like I said, it's a hack that buys time. We're talking last resort.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
@@WaywardVet Sorry, not specifically directed at you then. I’ve been spamming my response to every half-wit post thinking this is legitimate, current, or even best medical practice (in the field or not).
@NuiYabuko
@NuiYabuko 2 года назад
@@ElCapAddict Spamming is the right word here.
@colleenclement474
@colleenclement474 2 года назад
Throw some lemon juice on it so it doesn't go brown. 😋
@angc214
@angc214 2 года назад
Maybe sacrificing a Florida governor to the hurricane gods will appease them and calm the storm. I'm an agnostic but it's worth a shot.
@steveaustin2686
@steveaustin2686 2 года назад
LOL
@kiriakiria9685
@kiriakiria9685 2 года назад
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
@lisalima7430
@lisalima7430 2 года назад
Busted out laughing at "Put rite hand on potatoe & repeat after me" thank you Stephen!
@ProctorsGamble
@ProctorsGamble 2 года назад
😮 You made a Dan Quayle potato mistake!
@layhdejjj9707
@layhdejjj9707 2 года назад
Russian draftees: I don't need ammunition, I need a ride
@8arrows
@8arrows 2 года назад
Good one
@OneSkyWarrior
@OneSkyWarrior 2 года назад
Great one !!!
@batalorian7997
@batalorian7997 2 года назад
I think they need tampons
@groove-heroine
@groove-heroine 2 года назад
Full circle.
@johnsmithe4656
@johnsmithe4656 2 года назад
@@batalorian7997 Imagine how upset all the women will be when they realize there aren't any more tampons in the whole country.
@joshuaewing159
@joshuaewing159 2 года назад
So grateful to have made it this early to the monologue that makes the world go round. The proceedings can wait because the real hurricane comes for them after Wednesday
@shahnulislam9897
@shahnulislam9897 2 года назад
Lucky for you i saved it on youtube
@catladycabaret
@catladycabaret 2 года назад
GO FETTERMAN! I remember when he was doing boots-on-the-ground work in the Pgh suburbs. It is so awesome to see him pursue higher offices in the same spirit.
@vilstef6988
@vilstef6988 2 года назад
Without even trying, Fetterman is cooler than Dr Oz.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk 2 года назад
You mean Fetterwoman. How do you feel about the "working class candidate" living at home off his parent's money until he was 49?
@couragekarnga8735
@couragekarnga8735 2 года назад
All he has to do is not have the friggin last name Oz!
@morebirdsandroses
@morebirdsandroses 2 года назад
I call him Dr Ooze 😝
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 2 года назад
@@couragekarnga8735 he doesn't. English doesn't respect other languages enough and leaves out the Umlaut
@maryanneslater9675
@maryanneslater9675 2 года назад
And if he wears shorts and hoodies, it's probably also because those things come in his size. It's HARD finding good trousers or jeans in 36 inch or longer inseam. You can't buy suits off the rack, either. (Worst of all, casual suits these days are ugly spandex nonsense. Big guys look bad in them. Even Dwayne Johnson can't pull it off. When he was on the show, his suit looked like a python trying to digest a very large meal.)
@sailinbob11
@sailinbob11 2 года назад
I'm watching this on my sailboat in Tampa Bay day after the storm. I'm happy I'll be around to see the hearings. Capt.Bob, SV ( Sailing Vessel) 27th Chance, Tampa Fl, USA 🇺🇸
@xeruexe1624
@xeruexe1624 2 года назад
Is that why Marjorie Taylor Greene complains about tampons in the men's bathroom? Did she actually see it the russki malls?
@haruruben
@haruruben 2 года назад
4:31 is this real?!!!! Ok, it’s bad enough using tampons but then Putin won’t even buy the tampons for you
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 2 года назад
the us military does this. see above. it's also literally how tampons were invented, only in reverse. blood absorption material from medical kits became tampons.
@haruruben
@haruruben 2 года назад
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 the US military provided first aid supplies to its soldiers
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: ru-vid.comCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@lynetteray2146
@lynetteray2146 2 года назад
I escaped to Houston from Cape Coral on Sunday. RSW was packed and every single plane was 100% full! I really believe the vast majority of the population in Florida have done the right thing. Fingers crossed! Lynette
@s.anthonyulibarri2488
@s.anthonyulibarri2488 2 года назад
Told my friend she should evacuate. They decided to hunker down.
@markwilliams2620
@markwilliams2620 2 года назад
Nobody escapes from Cape Coma.
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
@Serena.Hope.Eternal 2 года назад
When I lived in Florida and a hurricane was coming I was terrified. I didn't have finances or any way to get to safety. Truly gut wrenching feeling to know there's no one there for you, nowhere to go and no way to get there. My thoughts and prayers are with the people facing the storm and those whom have already dealt with Hurricane Ian, the Puerto Ricans and other Islanders. 🧸🥺 💙 💛
@tthappyrock368
@tthappyrock368 2 года назад
Good that you left when you did. I've been watching the projected storm surge levels--unless the trajectory changes significantly, a lot of people aren't going to have much to return to. My heart goes out to everyone affected!
@skoshman1
@skoshman1 2 года назад
Fun fact about pads and tampons at war: They are dead serious and these should be in any serious first aid kit. Also, was a common part of a person first kit of American soliders during the Vietnam War. Wasn't suppied by the military - was supplied by writing home.
@wrmlm37
@wrmlm37 2 года назад
"IS POTATO", is my new fave expression at home. Husband hates Stephen so he has no idea what I am talking about! I find it hysterical:))))
@smrenshaw
@smrenshaw 2 года назад
I was hoping that, "Here is your weapon: is sharpened potato 🥔 "
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 2 года назад
i bet that was a discussion in the writer's room - sharpened tampon doesn't quite seem to fit, but potato would have been kind of jammed into that monologue at that point...
@weirdthingstoeat7198
@weirdthingstoeat7198 Год назад
The TAMPON joke got me in Stitches!!!! LOL!!!
@BigSteve_Gaming187
@BigSteve_Gaming187 2 года назад
What is unfathomable to fully understand, majority of these people have had their families live there all their lives and never would imagine leaving their homes.
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 2 года назад
Like any war...
@libbyworkman3459
@libbyworkman3459 2 года назад
@S.O.S. There are three things that are very difficult to predict: the path of a hurricane, when a volcano will erupt, and earthquakes.
@Sundayjean
@Sundayjean 2 года назад
😂😂 ❤ the Venezuelan joke! I’m in FL., it’s kind of hard to get out of its path unless you fly far north and west.
@The_Infamous_Boogyman
@The_Infamous_Boogyman 2 года назад
Tampons have been used in the battlefield for quite some time, actually a really good idea
@johnsonhunglo1993
@johnsonhunglo1993 2 года назад
Isn't a 'tampon' just a re-purposed battlefield dressing?
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: ru-vid.comCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@johnsonhunglo1993
@johnsonhunglo1993 2 года назад
@@ElCapAddict: School-based information seems best!!
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
@@johnsonhunglo1993 Well, I’ve treated high-velocity rifle injuries - and tampons would be a laughable idea if it were not so serious. This is not the turn of the 20th century or WW1 medicine.
@deecee9561
@deecee9561 2 года назад
Military has been using tampons since or before Vietnam. My dad told me about it.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Army medics are already explaining why tampons are not sound interventions for GSWs: ru-vid.comCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@deecee9561
@deecee9561 2 года назад
@@ElCapAddict great statement but i think the comment of being stupid is a little rough the statement i made was my dad(Vietnam vet) said that is a real thing because he was told that in Vietnam and he was in a combat zone(how I know is because he was exposed to agent orange verified by vet affairs). In a chaotic situation(loud sounds, shock, blinding light, percussion waves, heat exhausted, frost bite, will to survive in deadly situation, ect,) it's better to do something than continue to bleed because it takes longer to do the proper dressing. Also, remeber the time frame, location, and supply. Now, there is better stuff for stuff like that today but even this time frame, location, and supply, something is better than nothing. Agree with what you said but like I said commenting that it is stupid is harsh.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
@@deecee9561 I’m sorry, it was not specifically directed at you - I was generally frustrated trying to dispute the overwhelming misinformation/obsolete practice by so many people. It’s more effective, versatile, and cheaper to just carry rolled gauze and know how to use it... I edited my post.
@deecee9561
@deecee9561 2 года назад
@@ElCapAddict oh no I didn't take it that way & I was talking mainly the word stupid so please don't take it as i was attacking you. Crazy is word I'd use because people may be doing it. Ovastand why they would if they were told to be the people in charge but i think "stupid" is a harsh word. Stupid is the opposite of ignorant so i believe that that using a tampon may have some extreme emergency right then & there application. Like i said it sounds crazy but, it could it might help? Had a buddy that went to Afghanistan and while visiting he shower me some of his stuff that they gave him and it was different than the stuff my dad got in Vietnam. He had a emergency medical bag thing that had for personal use and it looked kool. Did notice that the bag had an expiration date on it that had passed. Now obviously some of the content of the bag wouldn't expire but the medicine type stuff probably did. Maybe the tampon is for that situation? Anyway it's crazy and I personally don't know if i'd do it(depending on situation) because i can't even walk down those isle in the store nor, women undergarments either.
@s.d.c5513
@s.d.c5513 2 года назад
If you have to force your people to fight for you, ...They probably won't.
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 2 года назад
Where have you been in all the last wars? Ever hear of the draft? No, you Americans cripple the less fortunate in society so much that they go to the military in hopes of getting higher education. All those poor kids killed in Afghanistan...and the poor American grunts too
@fionaanderson5796
@fionaanderson5796 2 года назад
There will be many who can't find a way out of it, but they won't be effective.
@Lisared023
@Lisared023 2 года назад
Priceless: tell DeSantis you're Venezuelan. Maybe he'll give you a free plane ride to Martha's Vineyard. 😂😂😂😂
@sevengates555
@sevengates555 2 года назад
With WW3 on the horizon, Colbert is keeping me sane.
@helenpatterson3858
@helenpatterson3858 2 года назад
Putin is telling the Russian people that WE are threatening Russia with nukes. He's acting like it's the Soviet Union again and that people have no access to the outside world. The guys trying to flee reminds me of the old days when people were shot trying to defect across the wall.
@razvanzamfir1545
@razvanzamfir1545 2 года назад
No Ww3 per se. Russia has almost no allies (North Korea or Syria? ), but Putin could fuck up the world with nukes. So no WW3 , just MAD
@bestieswithtesties
@bestieswithtesties 2 года назад
@Travis Glanton The Tower Enthusiast Lol. Why do you think Russia invaded Ukraine in the first place? The war between Western democracy/NATO and eastern fascists has been ramping up more and more for Years now. You think it's just going to stop?? That's cute. But I hate to inform you that's not how it works. Things will continue to escalate until the debate is settled and one side wins. Either western democracy or eastern fascism. The war has already been waging for years and Ukraine is just the first time it's spilled into physical combat. It will not be the last it's only going to escalate.
@michaelgreenwood3413
@michaelgreenwood3413 2 года назад
Not gonna happen. Russia would get flattened inside of a week if NATO *actually* got involved.
@valinorean4816
@valinorean4816 2 года назад
@Travis Glanton The Tower Enthusiast If Putin uses nukes, yes WW3...
@xanthespace5141
@xanthespace5141 2 года назад
As someone eligible for the draft, but with no funds to leave the country, the prospect is extremely terrifying. And then add on top of that seeing comments by Westerners (or governments of some neighboring countries) "just overthrow the government bro", more demoralizing than I thought. Just have to hope that it won't touch me and I don't get called up. I can't even be confident about hiding because there's nowhere to hide if you don't know people
@jakewarner1993
@jakewarner1993 2 года назад
My heart goes out to you man. May you stay safe in all this.
@patrickmalone4443
@patrickmalone4443 2 года назад
Good luck
@pacmanshooter247
@pacmanshooter247 2 года назад
Sorry to hear that. Shitty situation for so many russians. A lot of westerns know that it's not that easy. I have the deepest respect for any russian who actually protests these days. I don't know if I would be so brave. I hope you can avoid the draft.
@heavenhelpus479
@heavenhelpus479 2 года назад
This Westerner wishes you the best of luck!
@robertb6889
@robertb6889 2 года назад
We feel for you. Sorry your leaders are so absolutely horrible. Wish there were a better solution for it all for you.
@SillyTube9
@SillyTube9 2 года назад
I now want a “Fetterman: Kicking Authority In The Balls” bumper sticker.
@ravi4846
@ravi4846 2 года назад
Hoodie. You want that on a hoodie... :-)
@occam5052
@occam5052 2 года назад
Given the spastic in charge of the US, I don’t don’t think they’re in any position to criticise other leaders 😂😂😂
@TheAlchaemist
@TheAlchaemist 2 года назад
The original name of the DART mission was Far Asteroid Redirection Test, but they chickened...
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 2 года назад
who else is hoping that asteroid is now on a collision course with something interesting?
@steveaustin2686
@steveaustin2686 2 года назад
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 The asteroid that was hit was Dimorphos, which orbits around the asteroid Didymos. Both asteroids orbit the Sun and are more than 3,000,000 miles away when they are closest to Earth. The impact was when both asteroids were 7,000,000 miles from Earth. The Moon is 240,000 miles away for reference. The impactor from DART will slightly change the orbit of Dimorphos as it orbits Didymos. The predicted change is so small, 0.4 millimeters per second (roughly 1/63 an inch per second), that it will take weeks to determine how much it changed. Didymos orbit around the Sun won't really be affected at all. This was a small scale test to see if the simulations of an impact match the real world test.
@Starman_Dx
@Starman_Dx 2 года назад
As a Floridian in the path of the storm, happy they postponed it. Now make it primetime.
@littleredhen
@littleredhen 2 года назад
The line to get out of Russia can actually be seen from outer space , I wonder if Edward Snowden is in that line now?, LOL🤣🤣🤣👽✨💫🚗🚗🚗
@alex35agm
@alex35agm 2 года назад
Yes,prison in the United States might be looking pretty good to him now.
@IsoscelesKramer
@IsoscelesKramer 2 года назад
Perfect irony...
@tairneanaich
@tairneanaich 2 года назад
Tampons were literally Invented to plug bullet wounds though, that’s not weird! Nurses in wartime figured out these handy things were useful for themselves, too!
@Kid_Ying
@Kid_Ying 2 года назад
9:07 You can make light of it all you want, but I'm gonna throw out a little bit of Wu Tang's Triumph and say "Ay yo that's amazing."
@BaronVonQuiply
@BaronVonQuiply 2 года назад
09:33 APL dresses like Best Buy, JPL dresses like Target.
@elmerfudd5193
@elmerfudd5193 2 года назад
Knowing NASA they probably hit the asteroid INTO an orbit that will hit Earth!
@johnsonhunglo1993
@johnsonhunglo1993 2 года назад
Holdover from the Trump Administration are still there!!! So, keep alert!!!
@SpaceForceCommander
@SpaceForceCommander 2 года назад
It would be tragic if an alien being was on that asteroid and the video showing it looking up and saying “What the…” before impact. 👽
@Blackwolfufk
@Blackwolfufk 2 года назад
Be a awful way to start an interstellar war. An "opps" moment of all time.
@leyrua
@leyrua 2 года назад
"Please, we didn't mean to shoot your citizen with a ballistic satellite. I mean, we meant to hit the *asteroid,* but we didn't know he was on it? It was pure coincidence that we just happened to be aiming exactly where he was standing. No, _really."_ 😅
@emotionalsupporthipster659
@emotionalsupporthipster659 2 года назад
I'm stuck in Orlando and was looking forward to the Jan 6th committee hearing taking up a majority of a stormy afternoon 😕
@uptick888
@uptick888 2 года назад
Be safe
@emotionalsupporthipster659
@emotionalsupporthipster659 2 года назад
Thank You
@lindablue7494
@lindablue7494 2 года назад
Looks like all those years playing Asteroid finally paid off. lol!
@Infinite_AM
@Infinite_AM 2 года назад
Dr Oz looks like Count Chocula
@pro-choicemom
@pro-choicemom 2 года назад
Call your representatives & senators regardless of party every week to demand their continued support for Ukraine. This is VERY IMPORTANT in order to stop the influence of right wing Russian propaganda that is prevalent among Republicans.
@dredgerivers7730
@dredgerivers7730 2 года назад
10:25 Line: "...we have laughed off..."
@KimberlyBishh
@KimberlyBishh 2 года назад
Stephen is the everything I always wanted
@BILL_BO_jangles
@BILL_BO_jangles 2 года назад
"Look at those happy nerds" lmao.
@kenchristie9214
@kenchristie9214 2 года назад
If worse comes to worse I'm sure Diaper Donnie will be there to throw paper towels to the victims.
@gamepapa1211
@gamepapa1211 2 года назад
Dr. Oz sounded like that kid on the playground who sucked at yo mama insults so bad they accidentally praised her instead. "Yeah, Jimmy?! Yeah!? Well, well yo mama's so famous, uh, guys line up to get her autograph! Yeah! Take THAT, Jimmy!!"
@jwilk5606
@jwilk5606 2 года назад
Ron D: Hello Biden. Yea, about the whole migrant relocation, it was a joke. Seriously help us!!! Will be the most awkward phone call ever
@moongyrl
@moongyrl 2 года назад
I don't think I realized that Stephen's show was written by the break room at a local Best Buy.
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 2 года назад
You mean the Geek Squad?
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
@Serena.Hope.Eternal 2 года назад
That room needs serious help! Those guys trying to be funny in a barren, yuck room. 🤮 Stephen has money to hire someone with taste to decorate that room.
@flodareltih9825
@flodareltih9825 2 года назад
Me: Why did you dodge the draft? IQ45: Bone spurs Me: How did you dodge the draft from Russia? IQ45: No McDonalds
@Jmaul85
@Jmaul85 2 года назад
Fun fact: that is the original purpose of the tampon. 19th century field dressing. Has to hurt like an SOB
@nannakurzhaar
@nannakurzhaar 2 года назад
well no worries about the asteroid - when one is coming in our direction we know dozens of years before, enough time to have several attempts 🙂 and I'm sure we will get better at this ✌
@steveaustin2686
@steveaustin2686 2 года назад
It was a small scale test to lower the orbit of a small asteroid that orbits a large one. There are no known asteroids that will hit within 100 years, but better to start testing early.
@beatricet5682
@beatricet5682 2 года назад
"Planetary defence". Humans may be able to "defend" the planet from an asteroid, but we are thus far, incapable of defending the earth from ourselves.
@MB5rider81
@MB5rider81 2 года назад
Flooding in Florida? Lock him down 👇⛓️🪨🔒🌊🌊☠️
@NiennaFan1
@NiennaFan1 2 года назад
I love how NASA practicing saving humanity is ten times more subdued than Undertale fans getting Sans in Smash
@-8_8-
@-8_8- 2 года назад
Between now and the 100 years before we think we'll need the dart, I think we will have more SpaceCams and more sensors. So tight now when it doesn't matter it takes 2 months. Also, I'd bet they already know if the orbit changed, but need 2 months to see exactly what change took place.
@mirandahuron2500
@mirandahuron2500 2 года назад
I was on a bike trip once where one of my fellow riders fell in a pothole and broke their arm - the bone was poking out. One of my fellow riders stopped the bleeding with a tampon until help arrived. They're super-effective.
@danvernier198
@danvernier198 2 года назад
That's literally what tampons were invented for. The common use is the alternative one.
@jamesmaddison4546
@jamesmaddison4546 2 года назад
Believe it or not, but tampons for wounds & bleeding control is pretty standard. I carried them and still do in my civilian life working as a paramedic with careflite. Theyre incredibly useful for that and other things such as dry kindling to start a fire
@rayb4faybrown975
@rayb4faybrown975 2 года назад
Dr. Oz supplements was a mail order automatic charge after a “free trail” it reminded me of the magazine schemes. Very slimy
@saysomething2995
@saysomething2995 2 года назад
Go NASA!
@haroldbrooks4235
@haroldbrooks4235 2 года назад
I saw that Ron DeSatan joke coming a mile away as soon as he mentioned the storm😂
@Blasted2Oblivion
@Blasted2Oblivion 2 года назад
Yep. Saw it coming a mile away and it was still hilarious.
@jwoolman5
@jwoolman5 2 года назад
If all humans and other animals were safely evacuated first, can't say that I would be unhappy to hear that the storm took out just the buildings at Mar-a-Lago and the Governor's residence and offices.
@danishaffer934
@danishaffer934 2 года назад
Except the governor if you can push him into the storm serge do it. Maybe trip the Florida governor into deep flood water, that would make you an American hero.
@JohnFleshman
@JohnFleshman 2 года назад
Fetterman doesnt need Ozs help to seem cool. but never turn down free advertising. LOL!
@ncd1967
@ncd1967 2 года назад
That’s how tampons were invented!
@GalactusOG
@GalactusOG 2 года назад
*"All i know, Is Smoke weed every day" -Socrates* *(🐲🐉🐸💨💨💨)*
@reynoldsmathey
@reynoldsmathey 2 года назад
Surprise, Yellowstone NOT on Paramount+, but for some strange reason is on Peacock, even though its a Paramount production.
@veeedgee
@veeedgee 2 года назад
Dr. Mimic Oz 😭😂👌🏾
@beatricet5682
@beatricet5682 2 года назад
Q: What's a comedy dozen? A: Eleven writers and one 🥔.
@THarSul
@THarSul 2 года назад
With regard to the russian soldiers being told to procure tampons, believe it or not, staunching gunshot wounds is actually the original designed purpose of the tampon, it was only later that someone thought to put them into a different bloodied hole.
@-8_8-
@-8_8- 2 года назад
When NASA has a success, it never feels like a success for America. It's far bigger than that. This was a success for mankind. And that SpaceX general that looks a bit like Carrell.
@Shvedkova
@Shvedkova 2 года назад
Thank you for the support 🇺🇦🫶
@AnyoneCanSee
@AnyoneCanSee 2 года назад
I know this is a comedy channel but I feel incredibly sorry for those forced into this war. In that video they are told there are no medical kits or even sleeping bags and they must bring their own. The soldiers complain that medical kits are completely sold out everywhere and so she recommends asking their girlfriends and mothers for tampons. They are told they are given a uniform and a gun and nothing else. They are bein taken from the poorest least populated regions and when they die there will be no one to cause a fuss about it.
@Spazzmatazzz
@Spazzmatazzz 2 года назад
Colbert should have a contest where bthe winner gets to sit in on the writer's session! I bet it's hilarious in there! lol
@daynalein6865
@daynalein6865 2 года назад
That's what tampons were originally designed for.....
@gregcarlson8660
@gregcarlson8660 2 года назад
Could Fetterman moonlight as Raphael Warnock's campaign manager?
@Pattyobrien3
@Pattyobrien3 2 года назад
Oh, I had forgotten about Edward Snowden. I feel sorry for him.
@pshaw8406
@pshaw8406 Год назад
And the cheapest tampons at that!
@zwickd13
@zwickd13 2 года назад
the tampon bullet wound is no joke real life saver
@nexxasa1962
@nexxasa1962 2 года назад
Comedy Mission Control room. That’s funny
@terrasilvershade5678
@terrasilvershade5678 2 года назад
The hurricane is coming down very hard here in central Florida
@garypatton3715
@garypatton3715 2 года назад
I think old Dr. OZ was one to get a wedgy in high school every day
@TraderRobin
@TraderRobin 2 года назад
Always awesome!!
@jthutcherson2031
@jthutcherson2031 2 года назад
What happens when they hit a solid nickel/iron asteroid? You know, that isn’t a loosely held together bunch of solar dirt?
@qualicumwilson5168
@qualicumwilson5168 2 года назад
"tovarisch": - I love that you use the correct term and correctly. Tavarisch is not Potatoe, comrade.
@JasonGastrich
@JasonGastrich 2 года назад
This is a weird format. This is a helluva beast dude. Reading stuff to people with an applause sign. Wow. Look what you’ve done.
@enriqueali
@enriqueali 2 года назад
Edward Snowden remains one of the most problematic figures for many to come to terms with, along with Julian Assange. I wonder how posterity will regard their actions and how it fundamentally changed the way we view data collection, the right to privacy and the lack of transparency re: clandestine government surveillance of its own citizens as well as foreign nationals
@jacquejac1840
@jacquejac1840 2 года назад
Why are ppl at NASA dressed in the blue polo & khaki uniform combo common of retail workers?
@user-io3th6lo9t
@user-io3th6lo9t 2 года назад
I really miss guys like Letterman Carson and Leno they didn't use the show they hosted as a forum for their personal politics they devoted themselves to entertaining everyone to help them take their mind off the very things that Colbert's engaging in now.
@tomnalley3644
@tomnalley3644 Год назад
Colbert,s a communist.
@likajamburia6176
@likajamburia6176 2 года назад
Imagine invading the country, then running there for shelter during another war you thought you could ignore, then complaining about being reminded about the war and threatening with another war, without realizing that's what brought you here in the first place. It's like asking for shelter from someone you made homeless. Being russian's neighbour is exhausting not just dangerous🙄
@toadjiang7626
@toadjiang7626 2 года назад
"War is rich old men trying to get richer by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die."
@neonfroot
@neonfroot 2 года назад
That's why I have no respect for older men whom are upper class, married, conservative and religious. They're the biggest hedonists, fucking and patronizing young people and ethnic minorities.
@atlasfeynman1039
@atlasfeynman1039 2 года назад
Actually, commie, the saying is: "War is old men talking and young men dying."
@neonfroot
@neonfroot 2 года назад
@@atlasfeynman1039 Gist is more or less that same. Also, criticism of upper class is also a liberal thing. And I mean liberal as in the default classical definition of the word, not the Cold War propaganda meaning.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk 2 года назад
And the president who didn't start any new wars, but started withdrawing our troops from other countries was? Gasp....Trump!
@neonfroot
@neonfroot 2 года назад
@@demoskunk Trump didn't withdraw troops. Biden withdrew troops. Granted Trump didn't start new wars, but he did bomb Syria.
@2332Stephen
@2332Stephen 2 года назад
For roughly 10 minutes every day this guy takes away my anxiety and depression
@norwaydude4798
@norwaydude4798 2 года назад
You need serious help then
@2332Stephen
@2332Stephen 2 года назад
@@norwaydude4798 yeah probably, not alone
@leoniemoats7467
@leoniemoats7467 2 года назад
Same. Its the only way to stay informed without going absolutely crazy
@Tyanus2
@Tyanus2 2 года назад
@@leoniemoats7467 You get info from comedians who use cheap lines for laughs 😃
@Jb22372
@Jb22372 2 года назад
@@leoniemoats7467 he isn’t informing you on shit, he’s told what to say. We are so gullible. Study the history behind this conflicts
@patrickmalone4443
@patrickmalone4443 2 года назад
Former army combat medic here.. ALL our aid bags were packed w tampons for the EXACT SAME reason
@darrengeorge8990
@darrengeorge8990 2 года назад
I'm pretty sure that's what they ere originally invented for.
@marshallptrs
@marshallptrs 2 года назад
Navy Corpsman co-signs this comment.
@baume184
@baume184 2 года назад
Creative problem solving 👍
@crovax1375
@crovax1375 2 года назад
I think that the point is that the Russian soldiers are being told to bring their own for field dressing
@richard1472
@richard1472 2 года назад
And don't forget the super glue.
@elphieofkiamoko
@elphieofkiamoko 2 года назад
I know someone who fled Russia to Georgia in February, when the invasion began. It was an act of protest against the war starting, but now I feel like he dodged a bullet.....literally.
@firequeen2194
@firequeen2194 2 года назад
Best wishes to your friend
@MyroslavaRm
@MyroslavaRm 2 года назад
guess what, an act of protest against the war is...protest. not leaving the country and ignoring what's happening
@libbyworkman3459
@libbyworkman3459 2 года назад
@@MyroslavaRm Vladimir Putin is a dictator with Secret Service agents killing dissenters against his regime. To protest publicly is to put a target on your back in a country like that.
@TentinQuarantino_
@TentinQuarantino_ 2 года назад
@@MyroslavaRm does it make you feel like a big man to troll everyone in the RU-vid comments section?
@kuronekochan3
@kuronekochan3 2 года назад
@@TentinQuarantino_ I'm from Georgia and nobody wants russians coming here. They had 20+ years to do something about putin, as he devastated Chechnya, Ukraine and Georgia in wars, but they lived comfortably under his rule, until sanctions hit. They're not refugees, they just want to live a comfy life, while the guy they voted in kills innocent people.
@Tonyhouse1168
@Tonyhouse1168 2 года назад
Hunkering down on a little island in Florida now. Gonna be an interesting few days. But hey, if things go terribly wrong, maybe that last *president* aka Chester Cheater, will come throw some paper towels at us
@maiben210
@maiben210 2 года назад
wishing you and yours saftey light and love💛
@sshaw4429
@sshaw4429 2 года назад
Chester cheater…..lolololo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@geekdivaherself
@geekdivaherself 2 года назад
I wish you and yours well!
@connorgunning6228
@connorgunning6228 2 года назад
I audibly snorted air out of my nose laughing at that.. im so sorry and I will be thinking about everyone down there to be ok and come out of it safely.
@anthonytrevino3191
@anthonytrevino3191 2 года назад
Cheeseburger paradise
@nehukybis
@nehukybis 2 года назад
I used to be an EMT in the US. We totally carried tampons. They're like the duct tape of emergency medicine. (Also, duct tape).
@OneSkyWarrior
@OneSkyWarrior 2 года назад
Lol. Great analogy.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 2 года назад
Or potato.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
@@shirleyrombough8173 🤣 Maybe Tide Pods are plentiful from all their washing machine thefts - they could stuff their GSWs with those.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict 2 года назад
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are a not sound interventions for GSWs: ru-vid.comCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@evillyn7895
@evillyn7895 2 года назад
" Put your hand on Potato " I had to pause the video and LMAO.
@threetreasures7698
@threetreasures7698 2 года назад
Me too! 😂
@Beginstheman
@Beginstheman 2 года назад
Of course! It's because whatever they swear on in Russia... is 🥔.😂😂
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 2 года назад
I knew tbers was a potato joke in there somewhere. Thanks for writing about it.
@zesty9815
@zesty9815 2 года назад
5:16 _"Put right hand on potato and repeat after me..."_ OK, or left hand.
@edmundooliver7584
@edmundooliver7584 2 года назад
@peter g no, russians get drunk on vodka, irish eat potatoes and eat lucky charms
@kathleenvaughan3709
@kathleenvaughan3709 2 года назад
I cannot imagine the horror those Ukrainian people are going through.
@Kal-EL_Volta
@Kal-EL_Volta 2 года назад
Not as bad as the russian people.
@OneSkyWarrior
@OneSkyWarrior 2 года назад
Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦💙💛💜
@Shervin86
@Shervin86 2 года назад
Nor the Iranian people which seems to get minimal coverage if any... #Mahsaamini
@peachesandpoets
@peachesandpoets 2 года назад
@@Kal-EL_Volta um probably more? The Ukrainians are victims...
@chriscruse8131
@chriscruse8131 2 года назад
Who cares when we have places like Flint, Mi that's been needing water a lot longer than Ukraine has been at war. Russia could blow Ukraine off the map for all I care.
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