Legit. Having a bad therapist is like having a 3rd neglectful/overbearing/disappointed parent. But the good one's... oh man. They can make up for what you lost out on and then some.
The amount of women going to bad therapists is astonishing. If you were going to a good therapist you would be self aware about your actions and you would have accountability for yourself
@@PapaThicccwtf?? this common doesn’t even make sense?? people are going to therapists to better themselves in the first place and therefore don’t necessarily have the tools that you listed. have some common sense.
I tried to go to Family Therapist and her response was "so what" to anything I brought up about my parents. I left when she admitted that she would never blame parents, no matter what they did. Once she said that, I told her I was done and never went back. Her scam is always take the parents side because they are the ones paying 95% of the time.
In all fairness, the thing about sitting there silently without talking is a thing that therapists sometimes have to do with clients who are unwilling to talk. Normally, if you insist and try to persuade these people to talk, they clam up even more, and by just staying there in silence, they get bored and uncomfortable enough that they start talking (I know it sounds stupid, but it's a real thing). However, from what she is saying, Q didn't seem unwilling to talk: she just didn't know what to talk about. And in those situations, the strategy is precisely the opposite: talk about anything, absolutely whatever, and something will eventually come up. We're obviously missing a lot of information here, but it seems to me that the therapist blundered.
They're not even particularly educated, let alone smart. I truly believe the best thing a therapist can be is likeable. 99% of people know what's wrong with them; they just need an outlet
There was a girl in high school who would talk shit about everyone and fake n I later learned she graduated on from being a therapist , idk why people think therapist are smart enough to solve your mental issues when they are normal humans too
@@Se7enRemainat this point I'm convinced that the good therapists are good despite their education, not because of it. Psychology as both a field and profession is so borked...
Yep. I know a guy who stalked me and he has a psychology degree. He hasn’t used it yet thank god but he has one and could become a therapist. And I know another person with a psych degree and they’re unhinged and do the weirdest stuff. So I’m good.
Damn that sucks, I get not having much to talk about with therapists and it feels like you’re wasting your time. I think a lot of therapists want the patient to guide the session whereas some patients don’t want that and instead want guidance from the therapist. The “should have been 2 miles” part is really uncalled for and totally inappropriate
I’m on my 3rd or 5th therapist (had a lot of 1-3 visits with therapists don’t know if that counts)… but I finally found an amazing EMDR trauma therapist in SoCal. I’ve been seeing her for 2 years now and so much has changed since then…. She can go real hard/expert mode sometimes but I find it extremely worth it. Things that where severely traumatized like life and death stuff are at like a 2-3 out of 10 of bothering me now 😳
Definitely if you can you should definitely go to therapy with a list of topics so it’s not just silent or rambling unless u are just doing talk therapy
I've dealt with the exact same thing. I'd go into therapy and clam up. They'd just basically do nothing but ask about how my week was and never delve any deeper than that. It's like I had to remind them that Im not here to catch up on my boring week, Im here to unpack stuff from years ago. After multiple therapist, I just accepted it really wasn't right for me
You should seek SPIRITUAL healing instead of these scams. A good psychic that is also a healer can help unpack and understand stuff . This therapist scammers will drain your bank only for YOU to tell them what’s wrong
I had that same issue with all my therapists, they only wanted to talk about the past week and not delve into any trauma work. And I’m an intuitive person, I wasn’t blind to where my trauma came from, I knew exactly WHY I was the way I was. I just didn’t know what to DO about it, and I needed some guidance, and no therapist could offer me “guidance” beyond pushing me to do EMDR when I knew that wasn’t right for me at the moment. But my newest therapist is a miracle. I’m finding that to get a good one, you have to stay away from talk therapists, and only go to therapists who specialize in complex trauma & offer a variety of treatments. They’ll tailor the sessions to you and what you’re comfortable with, but they’ll provide actual guidance and concrete skills to actually heal from your past. I’ve just gone to mine for a couple months now and I’ve already made more progress than I have in my 15+ years in therapy previously.
As a therapist, something that comes up quite often with clients is, what do we talk about today? I always set goals with my clients at the start of treatment. But sometimes nothing went on in the week (for example if their goal is anxiety reduction, they had quite an anxiety free week), and there isn’t much to talk about. In that case, I leave the space open for clients and say “what would you like to use this space for?” Sometimes that’s talking about what went GOOD this week. Sometimes it’s talking about sports or working out or knitting or a tv show they really liked. Every session doesn’t need to be filled with crying and heavy work. Sometimes people need an hour to reflect on their progress, an hour to relax and have an enjoyable conversation. These moments are great for a client-therapist relationship/alliance. It sounds like this therapist feels compelled to have those heavy sessions every week. To always “get stuff done” And from what I know of QT, that would be overwhelming for her. Most clients, including QT, benefit from some easier/relaxed sessions mixed in with the hard sessions. Side note: I was talking to my therapist and I said “ugh I guess I can try to work out once this week.” She said “how bout we try 2?” I laughed and said okay fiiiine. And that’s what I did. She pushed me to do something I wanted to do. And because we have a good relationship/alliance, I did not take offense to that. In QT’s case, her therapist response to her walk should have been, “that’s really great! Good job! Do you feel like 1 mile feels right to you, or do you think you could do 2? Maybe build up to it?” But if u just say, “why not 2?” It discounts their achievement and progress!
I had a bad therapist as a kid and it scared me off from therapy for a long ass time when i finally got into it again i was no nonsense and i continue to be that way. Although ive been lucky enough to get therapy through my schools and the two most recent ones ive had have been amazing and super helpful
I mean, I don't know the context, but knowing the beliefs of the client does help a lot in figuring out the way to address issues. Very often, the reason people go to a therpaist is because they have a situation that they can do nothing about (a relative with a terminal illness, for instance) and they need strategies to cope with that helplessness. In a situation like this, whether the person is religious, or at least spiritual in some way, makes a HUGE difference. I don't know you context, so I'm not defending those therapists, mind you. I'm just trying to provide some reasoning that therapists follow.
@@xisco5525 that makes a lot of sense. I guess in my case both of my therapists in the past just tried to convert me to their religion instead of giving insight or advice. It makes sense why they would need to know going forward but unfortunately every appointment was about religion
@@hecticmojo4532😮😮😮 that's awful! When I went to therapy, I was paired with a therapist who was non religious and had experience in LGBTQ+ issues since that's what I chose on the initial assessment. I wasn't dealing with issues relating to my sexuality or anything to do with religion but knowing that your therapist is not judging you/trying to convert you is a part of being able to trust them and work with them. I also think it's incredibly unethical for therapists to not be upfront if all they're willing to provide is religious 'therapy' (i.e. seeking vulnerable people to try to indoctrinate them).
My wife went to one of those free Mormon therapists (we used to be Mormons). They told her nothing was wrong and she didn't seem depressed. They told me I was selfish for being depressed. One of the many factors that led to our leaving.
my most recent therapist asked me, after i was required to see her after i expressed suicidal tendencies to my doctor, why i haven’t done it. i told her all the reasons, but then she replies “if you were dead, you wouldn’t care about all that though since you would be dead.” i think about that all the time. this is the third therapist that has said some out of pocket shit and made me distrust the mental healthcare in my area.
I always wondered if some therapists would get an ego when dealing with celebrities or successful people. Maybe the idea of bossing around the life of them gives a euphoric feeling.
I’m sorry but I feel like we could see this coming the last time QT talked about this therapist and how much they cost vs how much progress she actually made…
I recently quit therapy, and honestly its ok under the right circumstances. Sometimes you're not in the place for therapy and just need a break to process things. It can get overwhelming when you're talking about heavy things all the time.
Went to therapists on & off for years. Never took to it. One day I got referred by a family friend to a neurologist. Instead of being placed under a microscope & psychoanalyzed so someone can tell me everything wrong with me, I completed an initial assessment, got a science based treatment plan, could freely talk about mental health during breaks in doing my tasks at each appointment, & ultimately saw massive improvements in my mental health exponentially greater than I got from any therapist. Everyone is different & if you like therapy & it helps you, awesome. If not, their are other options. I also made a few friends as well. Best of luck to yall.
I’ve been to many therapist and I’ve only found one that I feel like actually does a good job and helps me. Good luck Q, I’m rooting for you to find a good one.
My therapist was incredibly racist towards my parents - and I was going to therapy for racial trauma 😭 Dumped her on the spot and never went to therapy again. Eventually I overcame a lot of my issues on my own but it took 5 very lonely years to get to that point and I'm never putting myself in that kind of situation again.
I had a therapist once who used his story of beating alcoholism and becoming a therapist, almost as a cudgel against his patients. If i tried to talk about something that bothers me, he ALWAYS looped to talking about HIS struggles overcoming alcoholism. I wasnt there for that. I dont have alcoholic tendencies, i was there to treat depression. Anyway he would interrupt me, not let me finish, would leap to conclusions, was just one of the worst therapists I've had.
During psych rotation a psychologist told me that many therapists are so scared of "dumping" patients that need therapy but are not fit for the therapist bc theyre scared of the patient feeling abandoned and quitting therapy altogether. The best thing for the patient is to tell them that you no longer can help them but refer them to someone and tell them that they do need (if they do ofc not if they dont( to continue, just with another person. Try to say it in a way that doesnt make the perosn feel guilty bc its no ones fault, therapy needs chemistry, if theres none anymore, therapy wont help
i have a hard time opening up to new people and talking about my feelings so when my therapist would say "what brings you in today" and id say something like "im not sure what to start with" he would say "then why did you come here" 💀😭🤣 stopped going to him pretty quick
I had a similar 'therapist' who I was seeing while recovering from a botched surgery (which nearly killed me) for depression and social anxiety. She told me "trying to talk to you is like pulling teeth" and I was like "yeah I thought that's why I was here...?" That was my last appointment lol. I really don't understand why people who don't have empathy or want to help people become therapists
My previous therapist was like that, and I hated it because it’s not easy being vulnerable with a stranger. I need help coaxing things out. I’m happy to say my new therapist has a better methodology! Don’t give up on finding someone who suits your needs 🖤
Had a therapist drop me for “not having anything to talk about” after she ended multiple sessions early after only 15 minutes. I was there for the most isolating form of depression I’d ever had, of course I wasn’t talking much 💀
Something really important to keep in mind- if you feel like you can't question your treatment plan or confront your therapist with doubts in their ability to help you, it's probably not a good fit. One of the best therapists I've ever had referred me out to a clinic that focuses specifically on processing trauma because he felt that he had done all that he was qualified to do. I made huge progress working with him over 2 years, but he was right.
that therapist is doing exactly as he should. we are taught to be a network for our clients. if we can no longer help them or think they would get better help from another therapist it’s our duty to connect them together.
As a new therapist this hurts to hear... Vote towards mental health professional regulation wherever you are! Professional therapists should have to be licensed, in some places we are but in many others we are not.
I had to fire a therapist after she told me “well I just don’t understand that” when I was explaining what was going on in my head with what I now know to be task paralysis. I was right out of high school and trying to understand what was going on in my head, but she just made me feel like a lazy teenager. She completely turned me away from therapy for a decade and last year I finally tried again and started going to a much better therapist.
My first therapist ever said I was faking it. I was 15 yo, still can't go to therapy because of that trauma. I went through so much, suicidal thoughts, depression, CRIPPLING social anxiety... I still can't bring myself to go to a therapist
I’ve given up on therapy. The breaking point for me was when I filled out a worksheet the therapist assigned and we went over it, she was completely stunned by what I wrote and then when I finished reading my answers she went “I think that’s enough therapy for today”
w h a t. Not even my Life Coach (she doesn't therapize she helps me work with my ADHD) is that bad when I bring up Therapy TopicsTM. I'm glad you're not with that therapist anymore TwT
I was like that for a couple of sessions when i went. And my therapist brought it up and said you dont have to come in with a game plan. I sometimes brought a journal to write helping tips and he said that i was trying to be top prepared. It kinda made sense because what i was seeing him for was made me understand that im sometimes to afraid to express my real self sometimes due to my premade perception(s) of what other people might think of me
my therapist was insistent on my mom being there for the first session, and then from there on out, told me “well as a mother-“ to any abuse i brought up, and then told me that the fact i don’t like my mom sometimes and sometimes i do, i probably have a personality disorder
I’m on my 5th or 6th therapist and sometimes it’s just not a good fit. It’s ok to “breakup” with your therapist and try someone else bc your paying them and you deserve a good fit that actually helps
I’ve had good and bad experiences with therapists. One, within one session, they were able to identify the root cause of my issue and what made me light up and feel happy. World changing. Another, it wasn’t always productive, but she was a very affirming and smart person and I learned a lot of insight from her. A third, they weren’t really helpful or practical. I felt like I had to re explain the same things over and over and they didn’t really have any advice about my main issue.
I get this a lot of the time with my therapist but i dont have any options I only vent, but i dont get stratedgies of how to fix anything, how to try and get my mental shit under control This lady knows how fucked up i am but wont tell me how to not be fucked up
@@natbug001 I can vouch for this. Books, medical journals, and the therapists handing out advice on the internet has been more helpful than the therapist I've had for years.
Most therapy is counter productive as it makes you ruminate more on your issues, instead of focusing on doing the activities that help fix your issues.
there's really no need to say therapy doesn't work, it does. it's an important thing for many people and an important field but clearly, some therapists suck at their jobs.
all my therapists (5 or so) except one were the same. I'm usually good at carrying conversations. Not with my therapists. We just sat there, I wanted to talk about issues and they wanted to talk about stuff I already got over.
I originally was majoring in psychology. the absolute narcissistic morons in those classes made me so very afraid of the harm theyll be doing as actual therapists...
I hope this finds someone who could use the info. I've heard that you can request transcripts from your previous therapist to be transferred to a new one! I haven't been in therapy for four years because it took me almost a whole year to open up to my therapist and a year after that, she left that office and i didnt want to start over. I learned that little "life hack" a few years after that and haven't used it because change is scary but i tell everyone that might find that info useful.
Mental Therapy is like very similar to Physical Therapy. You just keep going no matter what till you’re confident you’re like 85% there. You’ll never feel 90% let alone 100% all the time. If a health professional says otherwise they’re a quack.
I've had therapists like this before. It feels like it's on you if nothing is happening in and out of sessions. That's their job, good on QT for leaving them.
A good therapist will know when to look at weekly stressors especially if it’s impairing functioning and when it’s time to go beyond that and dive deeper into things like childhood trauma, an even better one will be able to note when therapy is no longer benefiting a person
Therapy is amazing but shouldn’t be a recurrent thing. I went to therapy for the first time at 27 and she really teaches me everything about coping, communicating, changing my mindset and also acceptance. That took me a whole year, after that, the worst thing I thought could happen in my life happened and instead of spiraling on depression or asking “why me?”, I just went straight to find solutions while dealing with my emotions. All of this is just to say that a good therapist gives you tools, not solutions and those tools are for you to use when bad shit happens again.
A) it's true that it can be very difficult to find a good therapist and you should have a certain affinity with them for things to work. B) if you say you don't feel like talking there's not much anyone can do to help, especially, someone's who's sole resource to be able to help is listening to what you have to say. C) a good therapist doesn't "tell you what to change" therapy is not a one quick trip. It can be excruciating and it's important that people are ready and willing to speak, discern, analyze to change whatever is needed for them. According to my current therapist, this is why sometimes people say that therapy doesn't help and it's because they're not ready. Adding a bad therapist on top of that is just the cherry on top of all that inner frustration.
I broke up with a therapist and a psychiatrist and it was incredibly empowering. Am with a much better therapist now and it’s incredible how accelerated the healing is now that I don’t expend energy gaslighting myself into believing that unhelpful help is helpful. If you’re feeling shitty and drained at the end of each session, DTMFA!
My therapist once told me that if I didn’t have anything to talk about, I could cancel my appointment and she wouldn’t charge me a dime as she can see other people then. I love her sm she helped me through a toxic af workplace
Lost a lot money, time and had bad experience's with therapy, so I just man up and started to confront my problems head first, it's still super uncomfortable and sometimes really draining, but I'm trying my best too just go and do it. I don't advise for everyone too do the same, every person is different, but I was already tired trying to find a good professional too help me, so I just resolved too bring shit into my own hands, mind you that it was 15 years in this bs, till I put my mind in resolve my own problems myself, without outside help.
My first therapist didn’t help me, I think she had recently gotten her degree and just didn’t have experience. I have really bad insomnia and the two months I had her revolved around a sleep diary and sleep exercises despite nothing changing and overlooking my horrible relationship with myself fostered by my parents expectations…blah blah. She must have been let go cause I was reassigned to another one who just knew how to talk to me and when to push me. Unfortunately she moved states after two years and I’ve never been to therapy since though I can recognize I need it still after 10 years. But it’s a commitment to let someone into your life and share your vulnerabilities, insecurities, etc.
The "moving the goal post" is actually so real. My first and only therapist was for a DA program, but what I needed at the time was just a general therapist/psychiatrist. She was really nice, but I never made any progress throughout the 6 month period of working with her. Like I would accomplish one thing that took me a long time, like making new friends or reaching out and connecting with old ones, and she'd be like "ok now let's look into finding more" and I was like "wait huh I'm very happy with the few I have??" And she said "yes well that isn't enough. The more the merrier!" 🗿 Like I get what she meant, but as someone who had expressed feeling like anything I do never felt like enough, she'd say something nice about how I'm a kid and I am enough, THEN TELL ME I DONT HAVE ENOUGH FRIENDS??? On top of that she would misgender me after I would tell her how deeply hurt I was by the lack of support I had from my family with my trans identity lol 💀
Usually if you're having a hard time talking they talk to you instead about other mundane things ask simple everyday questions until something comes up.
Terrible. I remember telling mine that I just get super anxious with people (including her) she said "oh don't worry, you don't ever have to talk if you don't want I'll just kinda keep talking then". She was lovely... I moved .
Lmao my therapist would talk about random things, often her own life. Last time i went, i had things i wanted to talk about, started, and then she started talking about everything that had been happening in her own life. This was after she turned up 15 min late and ended the session early, so i paid for 50 min but didnt even get 30, and didn't even get to talk about anything important. May as well have caught up with a friend. And the time before that, she didnt even show up. I messaged her and she said like "oh I have a lot going on atm." Then proceeded to bulk bill me for the session (which she never does normally) Some therapists suck
A therapist isnt supposed to tell you what to change. Bad therapists are the ones that give advice because that runs the risk of fostering dependence to them on the part of the client
I had a similar situation with mine. I was like, why am I spending money for me to tell you about what's happening in my life or things I want to change and to get the most basic self-help stuff back 😅 I'm here to improve, not to just tell you what I already know to be helpful.
Sometimes i dont really have a big story or stress, then they just always guide the convo do i can talk about something or i just chill and she talks about how i can handle stress when something comes up.but you can and should feel you can everything go to therapy with an agenda so it's crazy to say you whouldn't come here with agenda. Hope she found the right therapist bc a bad/unfit can mess you up more than no therapist bc unfit ones will feed you with thoughts you didn't have or more anxiety etc. Remember anyone reading this, if you even feel like you should have another therapist you can and should always request a new one. Their profession is to help you so you need to be self centered and not think their feelings. If they're in the right profession and are good help they are totally fine with you changing help personnel.
THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD she would just sit there and fucking stare at me. girl i'm here because my parents freaked out abt me writing anime fanfiction there isn't much to talk about
I am so curious which anime fan fiction made your parents freak out. Like was it even bad or was it just basic anime stuff sending em over the edge lol
Therapists are still people. And a good therapist will tell you that not every therapist is good for everyone. Even a great one will be ill suited for some patients. It comes down to preferences, styles, etc. At the end of the day, it is YOUR life, so do not feel bad for chaging medical professionals of any kind. It is hard (I know it myself), but there is nothing bad with it, and they will tell you the same.
I had a therapist that would ask how I reacted to certain situations, and I would tell him I had no reaction, I was severely depressed and just NUMB to everything. His response would be to say “No you can’t just not react. What did you do, what did you say, what did you feel?!” I had to just start lying and eventually realized I was just wasting my time and my money 😂
sometimes finding a therapist who does their job feels like looking for a needle in a haystack. for a lot of people it will take time to find a therapist they feel works for them (and that’s certainly not bc they all suck, some people just don’t gel together and some therapy is more suited to certain people), but it’s so expensive that a lot of them time you feel like you have to just deal with it bc you simply can’t afford to look else where
A lot of people who go into medicine don't do it out of care and empathy for people. At least that's in my country. They go because it's prestige, it's status, it's family pressure, it's money, it's a secure job, it's "you got good marks, do it.
