As a left-wing feminist Christian minister who loves this channel I just want to add to the discussion: once at my church I had a young woman turn up who told me "I've given up on Christianity, I do not believe this stuff, I will not be singing the songs, I will be sitting up the back every week, but I am really alone right now and I need people to have a cup of tea with every week who will care about me and accept me right where I am. Can I come here?" Of course I said yes. Of course we all love her to bits. All that to say, if you ever need a place like that, there probably is a church like that. It might take a little bit of looking, but it probably does exist somewhere near anyone who needs it.
This is so great to hear! I've been looking for a great messy church. We're not at all religious but I want my daughter to have a sense of community and churches are really great at that. I also want to teach her about all the major religions as much as I'm able and it would be a nice way 😊 difficult to find people who are ok with the idea that I won't change my mind and I don't want her guided, I want her to be allowed to question and learn in order to make her own choices
@@SamWest96 if you’re considering different options, I’d recommend looking at a Unitarian Universalist church near you. My parents had similar beliefs and took me there for Sunday school throughout my childhood, and the church was very open, accepting, progressive/feminist, and talked more about doing good than specific Christian anecdotes.
My partner's grandma put her real christmas tree in the garden after using it and it's still here today about 20ft high! You can donate them to areas that use them to protect sand dunes too :)
one of my coworkers was telling me the other day that every year he and his daughter buy a different kind of potted tree, learn about the tree, decorate it and take care of it for christmas and then plant it in the backyard :,)
When I “came out” as atheist my family reacted like I had been making secret deals with a devil I don’t believe in. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s been years and I still get “I just know when you’re older you will come to it. Just spirituality! You will know.”…. I’m freaking 32 leave me alone! 😩
I'm catholic and told my sister that while I do believe in God, I simply cannot believe in the institution with all that's been going on since forever with the church. she literally took it as me saying I don't believe in God!!!
As someone I have huge respect for you showed me the possibility of life after Christianity as being positive. I left the church earlier this year along with my marriage and many friends. Thanks for making the journey that much easier and I'm so happy to be this side of it 😊
Ok the cup of tea at church thing kind of got me coz I really didn't get that when I used to go to church (at least in most places) but it would have been do nice and like, why can't we just do that? Like set up a place in each town where people can come and have a cup of tea and a chat, without religion needing to be involved at all.
Just wanted to add something about bringing a living tree inside every year, maybe it diffrent but in Germany that doesn’t work. I will try and explain pleas excuse my missing vocabulary. So basically at Christmas, your tree that lives outside all year long will have stoped growing, it roots got used to the „cold“. When you bring it in for Christmas it will „defrost“ and start its growing progress like it would wehen spring comes around. If you put it back outside again after Chrismas it will likely die- due to the temperature diffrent. Like freezing to death. Also the pot should be at least 50cm, and this will added on top of the length of the tree, so at some point you would need to have really higher Selings. (The height of the room ) I myself want to, buy a tree but keep it with the roots outside all year and just have my Christmas tree outside, with string lights. The Christmas ornaments I decorate other things inside the house. Just wanted to add that to the table- as a landscapearchitekt I get asked a lot from friends what I do. So maybe it helps
While this happens (trees waking from cold dormancy due to the heat of the indoors), there are ways to avoid it if you're dead set on keeping it alive and going back outside. These mostly say "don't heat it up too much" but theoretically it can work if you're willing to be a little chilly while it's inside
it’s strange how the countryside in different parts of the UK are so distinct - literally the second i saw the shrubbery in the intro I went “that’s near me! that’s east midlands’ dead plants!”
Just a thought for people who cant get a real tree as a Christmas tree but also don't want to add more plastic to the world. You could get a second hand plastic Christmas tree! Saves it being thrown away too :)
That's what I did. I bought someone's old plastic tree, they have me the old decorations too. (You know how people are? Need everything to be new and perfect.) When I stop renting I will sell it on for sure.
I found your answer to the church question really interesting, because I've never felt that sense of community in churches but I did gain that when I came out, because no matter where I am, an LGBT center/space is always going to feel "home" in the same way you described churches were for you
Feeling the ‘coming out’ as not being a christian thing. Left christianity about 4 years ago now. Took a while to find new common ground between me and some of my close christian friends. Has taken me a while, and still in the process of, reestablishing what my moral values are, as they are no longer based on Bible teaching. And even my general purpose and what I get out of life has shifted. I miss church too! I miss sharing a common purpose with a group of people and singing for worship rather than singing to sound good, because I really don’t sound good 😆
Yes! On not realizing you would die and that you will never meet the people who passed away again. I grew up with the idea that I would meet them if I went to heaven.
Yeah, that was something I really struggled with when I left Christianity. I’m an agnostic now, so I guess the possibility of an afterlife is still open to me, but when I was first confronted with the idea that it was quite likely that I’ll never see those people again and after death I’m just gonna cease to exist in any form…oof. Tbh I was pretty depressed about that for a long time.
Are you me?! Literally, I haven't even watched the video yet but have been discovering your content recently and saw the title of this video. I'm on holiday with Christian family at the moment hence not watched the video yet so looked at the comments instead. You're even apparently desperate for a cat which is where I've been at for years 😂 wasn't expecting to ever see this kind of video on RU-vid because 'coming out' as a non Christian isn't something I can imagine making public, so thank you so much for this and I look forward to watching x
It's getting more common in Canada for cats to be allowed in apartments! I got one about 6 months ago and literally changed my life 😂. She's adorable and grumpy and her and my boyfriend are best friends haha
Fellow Canadian here. It's so interesting how many apartments won't allow cats yet I've heard of multiple humans causing more damage to the rental property than a pet possibly could.
Retired racing greyhounds are THE BEST 😍 Our family has had two, and though I am a cat person, greyhounds are just giant cats full of love. Our last greyhound passed away last spring, and my mom definitely knew she wanted another. Covid threw a wrench in the gears, because greyhound racing is banned in Canada and our previous dogs came from the US. The land border was open for non-essential travel for like five minutes, but there’s new travel restrictions thanks to omicron. Long story long, my mom found a Canadian greyhound show breeder and she got a puppy last month. It’s wild, because I had never even seen a greyhound puppy before, and neither have any of our vets or trainers. Somehow they go from a newborn potato to…THAT, and I can’t wait to see how it happens. I am very excited for your parents, and they will get so much joy from these wonderful dogs. 😊
I will be here, waiting for the day you get that cat and then I will be all over your comments every time it appears! I finally got my own cat last year and she is the best
If you're a Much Ado About Nothing fan, I wholeheartedly recommend Laura Wood's 'Under a Dancing Star'. It's a beautiful reimagining of Benedict & Beatrice's first encounter (alluded to in the play but never seen), set mostly in pre-war 1930s Italy. A light & cosy read perfect for beating the UK grey sky blues! Loving Miserymas Lena, thank you so much ❤
I was so intrigued to find out how a St Bernard dog was involved in you quitting religion - tricked by thumbnails again 🤣 (Complete unrelated, whilst looking for that laughing face emoji I saw THIS emoji that I genuinely thought was a person with breasts on their head)
Those were some great questions! I really relate to what you're saying about growing up in the Midlands, and then running off down to London as soon as I could because I felt like there was 'no culture'. I just really felt like I was missing out. But I have also just moved back to the Midlands (I'm 30 next year, yikes!), and I'm looking around and seeing a lot of people starting funky, niche little businesses. And of course it's been tough for small businesses and creatives with Covid, but there is a real spring of creativity here that I just didn't notice when I was a brat in my early twenties. I'm starting to think that maybe the best thing to do, rather than just sack a place off and go somewhere else that sounds more exciting, is to try to create the thing in the community that you want to see. I'm not sure how to accomplish that though, but it's a thought knocking around in my head 🤣
We have a fake tree that I inherited from my grandparents! They must have had it at least 20 years and now my family plan on using it until either it falls apart or we do 😂 So for us that was obviously the more eco friendly option but I know not everyone can wait to inherit a plastic tree! 🎄🎄🎄
The hubby and I did not want to deal with a Christmas tree either, so we decided to make our own compostable ornaments (mostly pinecones rolled in peanut butter and seeds) and we're going to hang them on our favorite tree on our favorite hike! :)
That's really nice! We're making paper chains for my house and I've painted a rainbow lorikeet on some cardboard and cut it out, and cut up a box to make baubles from two circles of cardboard that slot together (with the side effect that they'll be collapsible). Just some non-plastic, reusable decorations! I like the idea of making your decorations animal snacks though
Jane Austen's works were (and still are) indeed revolutionary from a feminist point of view, but I don't see her relevancy depending on it. She is not relevant because there is still a need for her to be. She is relevant because what and how she wrote about the human condition was timeless and universal, even depicting a very specific time and place. And that is what sets her appart. There are books that work as tools for a cause, and most of all do at some point and we need them too, but there are some that go beyond that and I think Jane's are definitely there.
Oh, on the Christmas tree, make sure it's one that will be okay to leave outside for most of the year Idk about the UK, but in Canada the most common ones can't handle cold temperatures.
Ahw greyhounds and whippets are the best. They are very lazy at home sleeping all day on the sofa, yet zoom around like crazy people on walkies. So affectionate too.
Watching this a few months later and I've been struggling with the idea of Christianity that I've been brought up with. This was a really comforting video to watch and felt like chatting with a big sister xx
There's an RSC production of Much Ado About Nothing in Stratford-upon-Avon early next year - I just bought tickets to go with my mum as her Christmas present 😆 it looks like it has an afro-futuristic setting which is very cool. Also, we live in the CV postcode area and we got a pot-grown Christmas tree from Cole's Christmas trees this year, which we're really pleased with! Just a recommendation in case you're still in the area next year 😀
So excited your folks are getting a greyhound! My husband and I adopted a galgo (Spanish greyhound) and she's just the absolute best thing ever. I hope to see your new family member in many videos to come.
You look absolutely, gorgeously, beautifully charming. LOVE the beret especially. Thank you for the video. Also, I want your soft grey skies. Mayhap you could swap for our blindingly burny sky? 😁
First of all, you look so gorgeous and happy and confident etc etc etc ♥️ and we also decided not to have a tree this year; we are using a 2ft decor one that I bought last year and my kids decorated it with ornaments we crafted out of pipe cleaners 😄 I love your idea about planting one, that’s so sweet! Thanks for being you! 🤟🏼
I left a similar version of Christianity to you. I live with my fiancé though we aren’t married. (SIN!! Lol). I still miss the music and the community. I like going to church at Christmas Eve for the peace and time to think and the music and that’s ok. I identify as a humanist but with a deep appreciation for faith and especially connection with nature. Don’t know what that makes me apart from a person walking through life and figuring it out. Also rescue greyhounds are the BEST
i dont know how it is in the UK but, in the US, ive found it to be a real point of comfort to get my cat registered as an ESA (emotional support animal) which means landlords cant (1) deny me housing because i have a cat and (2) cant charge me for having one. i think it goes up to two pets or three pets i can register at one time under being an ESA. i havent heard of the same applying in the UK (mainly because the UK youtubers i watch say very little about mental health except for maybe therapy), but i hope the same applies and can help you and your partner out with any furry friends in the future! it was definitely something i wasnt aware was an option in the US until a friend told me about it 4 years ago as something she was pursuing getting her cat certified for (aka i didnt learn it existed until my 20s), so i thought i would mention it in case the UK had something similar that you two could use to your advantage for any future pets! cant wait to see your upcoming videos, much love!!
Wait, I'm here in the US, in my 30s, and I didn't know this. I'm going to have to look into how that works with dogs, because I definitely have mental health issues, and I'd definitely want more than 1 or 2 dogs, and I want to rent my own place before I get a house anywhere. Thank you for posting that.
@@Diva380 no problem! idk how it is in your state, but in mine, it's just "tell a doctor to write you a note saying you need an ESA" (my friend had her therapist write it, and i had my general practioner write mine but i also have a history of mental illness she could easily find). then you keep that piece of paper forever where you know you can find it (maybe even back it up and uploaded on your google drive or something), and give your landlords copies of it. my landlord specifically was really chill about it because she has three dog ESAs herself (all of hers are tiny white dogs, she showed me a picture ♡ but ESAs can be any breed) dogs can be a bit harder to get registered than cats, some states demand that dogs actually do a service (similar to legit Service dogs) or have some kind of training. other states are just "emotional support animals make you happy by just being there, so that's all it takes to get any animal registered". it's registration with the landlord btw, like the landlord has to know what you have (which means getting your pet registered with the Humane Society (what i use) so you can have documents of legal pet ownership to give the landlord. or maybe doing something similar depending on your state? im unsure how many documents you may need, but i needed those and proof i regularly got my pet vaccinated (which means regularly updating my landlord when i got my cat vaccinated again) in addition to my doctor's hand-written note about me qualifying for an ESA). it also is very important to know that ESAs do NOT have a right to go with you to classes or resteraunts or planes like legit Service animals (like Seeing-Eye dogs or PTSD Service dogs or Allergen Detection Service dogs, for example). ESAs just get you protection for housing and dorms. some people try to pretend their ESAs are legit Service animals (even getting fake vests for them) and that is illegal. if your mental health is severe enough that you think you might need a Service animal (like an Anxiety Service dog or a PTSD Service dog), that's very different from an ESA (tho they can obviously give emotional support too, they just also have a proper job as a Service animal) and you can take THESE kinds of Service animals around with you as you need them in classes, resteraunts, planes, etc that's all the info i can offer as a non-expert about the US. hope that helps! good luck!!
Hi Leena - just to let you know - we've found it really difficult to find places to rent with our cat. It's made the inevitable times we've had to move (landlords always want to sell the houses we live in?) really extra stressful as we're always worried we'll have to re-home her if we can't find anywhere we can live together (and believe me, this is the last thing we would ever want to do). I live on the south coast and perhaps things are more flexible further north but just something to think about if you're continuing to rent.
Asking the countryside to amp up the saturation had me creased. I went out for a wonderful British grey walk recently, it was painfully accurate to my thoughts
Very excited to hear about your parents adopting a greyhound! They’re the loveliest, goofiest dogs. Also, we always joke that ours is basically a cat in his personality & behaviours, so maybe a greyhound is the best of both! Please give us doggo updates! X
I like to think as someone who grew up on the Internet I am immune to parasocial relationships. But yet when you mentioned wanting a cat my brain immediately went ! On no I'm allergic to cats !! As if I could not watch your videos without sneezing if u got one lmao
I lost a lot of friends when I left the community and I also moved away physically at the same time. I wish I had an “ex Christian” friend who understood this. Some atheists don’t get the pain and confliction of being ex-c and have a default of “it’s stupid” and it’s hard to relate to non religious folk who haven’t made the conscious decision to break away in adulthood
i find you talking about leaving religion really interesting since i'm the opposite - i grew up non-religious but found faith in christianity in my late teens through some beautiful left wing communities online. i relate massively to the idea of 'coming out' to friends and family about your beliefs. if you felt comfortable, i'd love a whole video of you talking about religion since i find it fascinating! (or if you've made one and i've missed it, for someone to link it below!)
That idea of losing stability really resonated with me, I find it hard to separate myself from my previous Christian identity since my Dad is head of a church and am always wrestling with myself.
I've heard Holly bushes work! Not sure if that's true or their region though (no idea what they look like). They keep their roots in the pot and you can repot them in warmer weather.
I've had a potted one two years running now. You just have to acclimatise it before and after bringing it in like leaving it in the shed or cold conservatory for a week or so. And try and limit the length of time you have the tree inside, plus don't put it next to the heater!
You would be a great Beatrice! I really loved the BBC Shakespeare retold version and i feel like that version of Beatrice had very Leena-adjacent energy
Getting out of christianity has been tricky. I never really got closure I just don't go anymore. The thing is I'm not straight or monogamous so I had a lot of explaining to do.
The community thing - I run a local Greenpeace group. It's not really the same but if i was in a new city, I would go and find the local Greenpeace group. I guess you'll be asked to join as greenspeaker at an event in January we're all doing. There's a Cov one and a Birmingham one too. They are my favourite people.
10/10, can recommend rescuing a greyhound. Now that I've got one I can't imagine ever buying a puppy again. So many of them need homes and they're the best pets!
Another christmas tree idea... you could try and buy a fake one second hand on facebook marketplace or something. A plastic one or even a beautiful wooden one if you have that type of luck
Speaking of Culture, have you done any of the Coventry City of Culture stuff while you’ve been back around here? I’ve seen some excellent stuff and there’s just been so much of it! It’s a shame I can’t do it all!
Interesting, I grew up a Christian and never had much of a feeling of community or support associated with the church. Might be one of the reasons I drifted away and found something more fulfilling. Also, just a heads up on the Xmas tree in a pot, those things get really heavy really quickly so make sure you get a small one to start with.
I've recently arrived at the "I'm 21 and suddenly don't believe and feel like am imposter in church" point in my life, which I truly never thought would come. Its really hard to express just *how* secure it feels to grow up Christian in a loving church community, unless you've also been there. Whatever I decide to do about it in the future, I'm glad you have found happiness and purpose without Christianity, and even though this period might be hard, I have some hope for the future.
I love my cat with my heart and soul but she has increased my carbon footprint a lot more than I expected. I assume it would be more for a dog. Something to consider when getting a pet! X
Have you considered dog fostering? You could do emergency, while recovering from surgery, mother and puppies, etc. So you wouldn't have the dog for years and you can work it more around your lifestyle. Dogs trust also have a scheme where you can foster dogs for people who are escaping domestic violence while they get safe and stable so they can have their dog back. I think the commitment is 6 months.
I wish my family could've been so nice about me not being Christian. I thought I was an Atheist at the time and a lot of my more religious family members called me a Satanist. Suffice to say, I haven't spoken to my relatives since I moved out of my dads house. Now a proud Pagan.
I left Catholicism in my late teens as I was coming out as gay, and now in my late twenties I have joined Unitarian Universalist communities. Much of what I lost from leaving Catholicism is exactly what you described -- the sense of community and "weak ties" of people looking out for you. I also really missed the ritual of setting aside time to be reflective and sing together in one place (and one thing I'm really looking forward to returning to after the pandemic). Happy No-more-misery-mas one and all!
I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school but after my parents and I moved we didn't seek out another school or church to attend. I did attend a youth group like once maybe but never went to mass or followed the usual practices. I kind of miss the family like atmosphere I grew up in a as young child and I know a lot of my morals come from growing up Catholic but I was lucky enough not to be taught to hate others. Idk religion is weird but also I guess I don't need a physical structure to like pray and stuff.
I did the opposite and leaned further into Catholicism when I left home, because I was bad at making friends and that sense of community was really appealing at the time. But then it kinda backfired because the community I joined had a lot of underlying toxicity and judgyness, so I ended up leaving the church altogether. Honestly, I wish there were more secular spaces able to provide that community though, because I do miss it.
The majority of organized religion is the opposite of finding divinity. Against all odds this rock of ours has met the criteria for allowing life, against all odds we exist and have evolved alongside a planet who converts minerals into edible food for us. We have a lovely shield that burns up any small debris flying in from space... Its an odd place but we are here. Yet reviewing it seems the majority of terriblenes of human history was brought to us by dogmatic organize religion. The best adventure we ever took was leaving our box of beliefs, and aventuring around the world (from my living room) to discover "what do other humans believe what they believe and why?" I wish you all the best on your adventures and may you find much happiness.
Atheist churches need to be a thing! I know some churches which are non denominational often go more about virtues than bible-y (or so I've heard). Re. Christmas trees, apparently plastic ones takes 5-10 years of ownership to be worthwhile environmentally compared to a real tree. That being said, real trees are sometimes picked up by local organizations or groups, so if the potted tree doesn't work out something like that may be a good alternative. I have a mini tree and string lights. My cat is very destructive (at 3) so nothing ground level haha
An atheist church sounds like a terrible deal. One of the reason I like not being spiritual/religious is that I don’t have to worry about the social activities and time that needs to be dedicated it to it haha but all of us are different. Maybe if you miss that sense of community. Personally, I don’t have the time.
Omg I immediately went to Sweeney Todd, and wanted to be Sweeney Todd. I’m afab… I don’t know if could be Sweeney Todd. I don’t know. Can I just have shaving implements as friends?
Conifers grow quickly so there's only so many years you'll be able to bring the tree in (although maybe keeping the roots in a small pot might hinder the growth)
Cats and dogs are different species and definitely have different care needs. There's heaps of research in the public domain about it if you were interested 😊
The community aspect of religion is really one of the biggest things that would draw me to one. I know there are some ideas floating around that seem interesting (see 'atheism 2.0') and also some organisations like the Humanist Society who provide non-religious pastoral support, but I feel it's still not pervasive enough that you could go anywhere and you'd have that support. For the Xmas tree, we managed to find a small plastic tree in a charity shop and we've been using that for at least 4 years now, but I do know friends who have potted pine trees that have survived(apparent they need LOADS of water and fairly cool environments)
Really relate to that sudden realisation of death when you leave Christianity. Doesn't really help with my anxiety and the pressure to have a happy life but I can't go back now
The story of how you met Craig isn't in either of those videos but it is at the end of this one: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-_H6vpArLEz0.html (Promise I'm not creepy, just had a listen while sewing)
Was coming back here to comment this exact thing. I am very nosy and love hearing about how people met (any type of relationship). This video was hilarious!
I don't know of the research about this, and not saying Christian people don't suffer from depression, but I wonder if atheists become easily more depressed because of that lack of community. I'm agnostic, and I realized I was a lot more depressed being an atheist. My ex also became a lot more depressed and felt misunderstood when he became atheist.
Don't get a cat. The amount of suffering and death we see at our cattery from people experimenting with their cats natural diet is heartbreaking. They cannot process even synthetic meats. Just no. Adopt a guinea pig instead 😊
