ooh! I just remembered another quote I heard that really changed things for me - it went something like, "your direction is far more important than your speed" and its brought me so much comfort. as long as you're trying to improve, and you know loosely where you want to go (even if that means that you want to be happy, I don't necessarily mean career-related goals) then you are absolutely fine and on track
I also heard a quote the other day. "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, but they make the best of everything they have." I'm also reading this book called The Happiness Track. IF anyone is in their 20s or even younger, you should watch this TedTalk by Meg Jay called "Why 30 is not the new 20."
Realizing this in my life has really made me identify with the turtose in the fable of the turtose and the haire. I'm a slow mover, but I've learned that as long as I'm walking the road, I'll get to where I need to be eventually
My boyfriends old basketball coach would always say, “character over process, process over results” and this has done wonders for both him and I over the years 🖤
Advice from an older person: I rarely feel ''happy''. It's not the goal of life to attempt to chase such a fleeting and superficial feeling. But every day I do feel grateful to be alive. So grateful. I think that's plenty. It's also more sustainable.
This. The goal is to go to sleep everyday with the feeling of completion, satisfaction, the feeling you get when you know you did your best that day. Life gets predictable and repetitive at times, but that doesn't have to be bad. At least for me it's like that
Thank you for this, because I feel like for many people and maybe me too, happiness is not going to be there much, but it’s good to know that you could still live and be ok without it. I hope you have a good day!
I remember reading this exact comment the last time i started watching this video and this advice has stuck with me ever since and not to mention, it has really changed my mindset for good. So thank you! ♡
can you guys tell that I talk to myself constantly in my head so blabbing at the camera clearly wasn't difficult for me lol also - I'm reading your comments now & trying to reply to some but I just wanted to say that you guys are so fucking cool & you're making me so grateful I posted this - I'm so glad you guys found some comfort in it
Thank you Alice, I love this video and I learned a lot from you . I think many people struggle with the same issues and I am grateful that you share your experiences with is.
wait im like 4 mins in and FIANCÉ ?????!!! omg CONGRATS ALICE😭❤️ I’ve been following you for so long now, I feel like a friend just got engaged, wow. Seriously tho, congrats girly!
@@figs449 I saw a ring on her ring finger on one of her covers from a while ago + she’s been w/ the same person (check out Alex G on utube) for more than 9 years so I kinda put 2 n 2 together n assumed that she was engaged.
“I built my personality around the fact that I was praised a lot” IM GONNA CRY 😭 that was me, I’m still trying to move past that. It feels so so liberating to not be alone :,)
“my fiancé” omg you and Alex are engaged! Congrats!!! I remember when u two were 18 🥺 you seem to be genuinely in a better place that makes me so happy
As a fellow creative lady who struggled with finding my identity through my early to mid 20's, I just want to give you the biggest hug through the screen, Alice. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. As a now more experienced in life but definitely doesn't have everything figured out 29 year old, I'd like to share some nuggets of advice for anyone who might find these things helpful. 1.) Do not tie your own self worth with your physical appearance. You have so much more to offer people than how you look, your clothes, your body shape, the constantly changing trends you choose to follow or not, whether or not you wear makeup, etc. 2.) There with be multiple shifting moments throughout your 20's when you realize that you are SICK of your own bullshit/thought patterns, and you will decide that you are worthy/deserve better, and will make the leap to get out of that crappy job and try something different, leave a relationship that doesn't fulfill you or that's toxic, let go of toxic friendships, let go of the fear of the unknown and just TRUST yourself. Celebrate those realizations and those layers being shed, because you are ultimately becoming closer to the core of your most grounded, fulfilled version of yourself. 3.) If you have the means to do it or save up for it, I HIGHLY encourage you to travel abroad somewhere on your own. It is such an incredible, humbling way to get to know yourself better, become more independent, learn how to trust yourself, and go SO FAR outside of your comfort zone in the best possible, most rewarding way. 4.) Navigating your 20's is such a intense period of constant growth and change (literally like going through puberty again in some ways) So try to be gentle, and kind with yourself through this growth period, and try not to compare your journey with others around you. Things will fall into place in their own time, I promise. 5.) Untangle yourself from Diet Culture, diet trends, and just focus on feeding your body nourishing whole foods when you can, and don't make yourself feel guilty for enjoying more "indulgent" meals. Investing the time to learn how to cook yourself wholesome, nourishing, delicious meals is such a wonderful act of self care. 6.) If you haven't already, start learning about personal finances, budgeting, and how to set aside money for your retirement/down payment on a house or a car, etc. Also, take the time to learn about your own thought patterns around money, and invest the time into healing any trauma, inherited spending habits from your parents, and really work to get to a place of feeling comfortable and confident with how you handle your finances. 7.) If you are feeling self doubt about where you are heading in life, know that this is just a season, and that you have the power to change your reality. 8.) Don't focus your energy so much on "having it all figured out" and sticking to a strict, self inflicted timeline. There is such a huge, unnecessary societal pressure on young adults to know exactly what you want to be doing for the rest of your lives at such a young age. Think of your 20's as an exploratory, self discovering, exciting time of endless opportunities, and relish it. So much love to all of the early/mid 20 year olds who are are in the thick of self-love, self-discovering journeys. Hang in there.
Thank you so much for this, but I have such low self esteem that it's harder for me to trust myself with whatever I do. But I'm looking forward to believing in myself and making myself better
I used to never understand when people said they don't know themselves. now im 19 and realized i dont really know myself or what I want in my life at all, kind of a scary realization. its encouraging to hear what you said about it getting better later on, hope things keep getting better for u
its funny how it does take a little time to really know your true self, and even more time to trust that version of yourself.... but the good thing is, we literally have our whole lives to know - I'm still not all the way there - but connecting with that is so grounding - I hope you can find some peace!
I almost thought I wrote that myself, I never used to understand that until I was about 19 too. It's the same as "self-care" is trivialised to just be running a bath and having a glass of wine like Alice said. It's so much more than that and comes in a lot of choices you make in every aspect of your life, from the food you eat to learning to take a deep breath before you let an emotional response overtake your behaviour. There's so much to learn and stumble through in these years, it's a shame nobody warns you that everyone feels this way and it is totally okay to feel lost. I fully thought I'd feel it was all good when I finish college, but that is fast approaching and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet
We've been taught to idolize our 20s so much, but I'm sitting here at 35 and I realized that I have loved and enjoyed my 30s so much more than my 20s. That was such a turbulent and scary time in my life, and it amazes me how I even was able to get through it.
I am 22, and i feel completely lost. It is the worst era of my life so far. And hearing that you, as a person who i like and look up to, went through a similar thing gave me a bit ease, you know to be understood and not alone in feeling like this. Because i feel like everyone thinks that you should be grounded and sure of yourself after hitting 20. Thank you for sharing such an honest video. 🌤
Not me sobbing bc the way you're describing your early 20s is exactly how i feel rn. i just turned 21 and I've been waiting 21 fucking years to feel well.
thank you for this. I’m 21, going to be 22 next month (fellow pisces, girl I feel you with the shit we mentally go through lol) but it is so true! No one warned me that my early twenties, this first year at least, has actually been hell. Maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe not but my mental health just plummeted this year. And then there were days were I was completely fine and felt so good about myself. It kinda blindsided me and I had a little freak out thinking that my twenties were going to be so turbulent I won’t know how to make it through intact. But your words and advice in this helped so, so much. xx
I literally thought that I wouldn't feel the way I do now until much later - maybe 35-40.... and it might still take a little longer for you for things to settle down but I guess I've learned the best you can do is take care of yourself, nourish your mind/body, speak to yourself kindly & just ride it out. one way of thinking that's helped me is considering your inner/creative/softer self to actually be your own child - and that you have to care for that part of yourself in order for you to recover... I hope this makes sense
@@alicekristiansen8746 yes! It so does. I’ve been doing a lot of work on reversing my negative thought process. Being kinder to myself. Learning to say no. Stopping the self blame. It’s so much work, each and every day and it’s exhausting but I can’t tell you how much I related to the things you mentioned. I thought I was the only one dealing with this stuff! thank you again!
You sent me into a crying fest, but thank you- honestly, thank you so much for this. I just turned 21 in January, and never have I felt so alone in the way I’ve been feeling for years now. It’s funny, you never really believe that “you’re not alone” until you literally see your reflection in someone else’s words. You may never appreciate how impactful this video is, but this was a blessing to listen to at the exact time I needed to hear it. Again, thank you.
Honestly I’ve been so lost. The pandemic has healed me in a lot of ways because being forced to detach myself from others also forced me to reflect deeply and work towards being my own person. Except now I’m almost 22, and I’m so alone. I just want to belong to a group of friends. I’ve worked so hard to come off of antidepressants after being on them for 5 years and now I’d really love to be able to start living my life and actually enjoying it. It sounds so pathetic but it’s incredibly difficult staying motivated when it feels like nobody cares for you. I can’t exactly manifest friends for myself lol. Sorry for the overshare but your video made cry, in a therapeutic way, so I’m just in emotional release mode right now. Thank you for sharing your feelings and experience, and I hope you find comfort knowing that your music has comforted me in some pretty rough times.
I want to thank you so much. Last night i had a rough time feeling exactly what you were descibing: not sure what value i bring to the people around me and the world, unsure of who i am, how to function properly. It help that youre said you felt this way, because I feel so alone in these thoughts and emotions, feels like everybody around me is having the time of their lives in their 20s, like they all had a guide and I'm standing still, lost and afraid that I will not succeed. Honestly, sometimes i wish i could take a crash course on how to live and be excited. There are so many things that are unstable rn for me and it sucks, but it also sucks that i feel like i dont deserve to feel this way because i have family, a place to live, I go to college, so many people are struggling and i feel like a brat. Thank you for talking about this. It feels so much better especially hearing from someone who you've been following for a long time and who makes me feel inspired.
it's really comforting hearing you talk about this. as a 27 year old who's literally just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in life, hearing someone else's journey makes me feel less alone. I'm sure many others feel the same, and I hope you feel better after sharing. yay self growth and the pains of adulthood!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I relate to a lot of the thought patterns you shared (beating yourself up thinking it's necessary to get work done but ending up not doing anything at all, being jealous as in i want what they have for myself and blaming myself for not doing what they do, being tied to my immediate lived experience...) I'm 25, turning 26 soon, and I've been struggling with my mental health since around 17-18 too. I also felt that being in my early 20s meant that I should be living my best life, which didn't help at all! As the years pass by, I often feel stuck in this cycle of thinking "this is it, I'm gonna get better from now" then falling back into feeling really low for a few weeks or months, and thinking it would never end. I realized recently that this was strongly tied to my "black or white" / "all or nothing" thinking, kind of tied to perfectionism. What helped me was realizing that 1) I didn't choose this way of thinking in the first place, 2) I don't necessarily need to know *why* I have these thought patterns to overcome them (although it might help), the most important thing is to identify *what* they are in order to recognize them and not lean into them (I was too focused on the “why” and not enough on the “what”) 3) it takes time but I will learn to consciously change my way of thinking. The second point really is a game changer for me. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why and how I came to experiencing anxiety and depression (and I still do it sometimes). But this time is mostly unproductive, because being in a state of anxiety/depression doesn’t allow me to think clearly, and most of the time I just end up blaming myself and calling myself a piece of sh*t. And this ultimately reinforces the pattern of beating myself up and talking negatively to myself. But step by step, I’m learning to change this! Thanks again for being open about all of this! Sending love from Belgium :)
i can relate to what you said in the beginning a lot even though i’m still in my teens. during quarantine i realized i literally had no idea who i actually was as a person and that i built my entire personality on what other people thought of me. i kinda realized that i was actually really nothing like what other people thought of me. i’m also definitely a people pleaser, it’s so easy for me to base my own happiness on whether others are happy with me, or if i think they are happy with me. and i still have a hard time with positivity, a lot of the time it totally feels so stupid. and it’s not even positivity in general, because i’m positive when it comes to assuring other people, but it’s really fucking hard for me to encourage myself and not beat myself up because i just feel so stupid trying to be good to myself. anyways, i liked this kind of video diary type of thing, thanks for sharing your thoughts and making me feel normal
I want to say that I think relying on others opinions is something that's so natural to do when you're young - everyone I've confided in who is older has expressed one way or another that they had major people-pleasing tendencies as a young person... I think its natural but! I wanted to make this because I am positive if you take the time to kind of almost "date" yourself, try different things, find what makes you happy & take care of yourself, you are almost guaranteed to eventually find peace also - its not so much about reaching the "end point" and knowing yourself 100% - but the act of even trying to know yourself is healing - I hope that makes sense
I first went to therapy at 24 and realized I had the same issue of valuing what everyone else thought of me. It also helps in communication so much, at least with anxiety, because when you feel those triggers you can actually take care of yourself. I literally tell my husband every time I’m feeling anxious or depressed and say “I need to do something that makes me happy right now” and sometimes that allows myself to rest, sometimes it’s crying, sometimes it’s talking-but having a partner or friend and especially a trained professional that can help you understand that is important. Also, when I went on medication, my psychiatrist explained it as “lifting the fog.” It allows you to see all the doors in front of you, but you still have to be the one to do the work to go up to one and knock. Thank you for talking about this. I’ve followed you for years now and I genuinely feel like we’re cut from the same cloth now.
One more thing! This hits all my libra emotions of needing balance haha. Because I had always put my worth in others reactions, I would get so hard on myself and convince myself that I was this awful human being and then I read a quote and I cried for a good hour because I thought “what if I applied that to me. What I gave myself the care that I wish I got.” The quote was: I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. So I wrote that down and every so often I’ll look at it as a reminder to be there for myself and stick up for myself with strength and compassion that I have for my friends. I don’t know if that helps anyone else.
RU-vid just recommended this video… it’s really eye opening and so refreshing just listening you talking about your life. Just do whatever you have to , to protect your space and your life. If you don’t want to reply your instagrams DM’s don’t do. I totally understand. Depression is a state so many people don’t fully comprehend… Even though I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, I know I suffer from it, because of so many life/family/personal issues. Don’t think you’re not talented. You are… Us creative people have the need to always strive for perfection, and think we’re not there yet. That’s what keeps us going. BTW your music is great! Have a great weekend!
As someone who is turning 30 at the end of this year (frickin yikes) and has depression and anxiety I can say things will get better. Your 20’s are NOT what people think/say they will be, but they’ll be even BETTER in a different way. You struggle and fight but come through the other side learning so much about yourself and finding out who you are. I had my first panic attack at the other side of the world at 22 and it was the scariest thing and sent me into a depression I can only say now I’m almost out of. You’ve gained so much wisdom already at such an early stage of your 20’s. I wish I knew that much about my way of thinking. Wishing you a continued journey of peace, knowing yourself, and musical success. Thanks for sharing.
this felt like a catching up session with a close friend. thank you for making this video! i've always had that jealousy you were talking about, the kind where i keep blaming myself for not being what others are. for me, 2019 was the roughest year. but somehow, although the pandemic happened, 2020 was just a better year mental health wise. i've always refused to believe the pandemic got me taking a step back and making me better bcs heck i was struggling so bad with uni life and i feel like i'm wasting the best years of my life. but it's true that it has made me reflected on myself. and i've grown a lot, although i've just been sitting in my room most days. i'm so happy to know you're getting better alice! i hope we can all continue to grow as a person :-)
sometimes that's exactly what you need! I feel the same - I think the pandemic gave me the space to kickstart my journey to feeling grounded & I'm so grateful for it weirdly
I am so glad you started taking care of yourself in your twenties. Being depressed for years on end can take a toll on the body, heart and soul. My healing journey started at 27, ended at 32, which is when magic started, and life became manifested.
Your feelings feel very relatable to me at 38. I don't think it's just an early 20's thing... what I've realized is that this is just how life is. It's always up and down and no-one ever actually has it all figured out, at least not forever. But there's definitely comfort in knowing it's all temporary, whether it's the good things or the bad things. That's a hard lesson to learn (and remember).
I remember you coming to my school and performing right around this time last year. Getting to see you play and meet you afterwards is one of the last memories I have of my college experience prior to covid. Thank you for being so transparent about what it's actually like to be in your 20s. Love you so much!
I can't tell how many things you have said that i can relate to my self. Thank you for saying every thing that you have said. I'm doing my final paper on psychology and this video its so important to people with same struggles realise that they aren't alone. Realising whats means to question your life and what is yourself. I really hate positivity thought, but i also know how bad is not being positivity sometimes that you need to be kind to yourself. Its ok not feeling good every time. Dont feel guilt for not feeling good while your life is good.
wow I really needed to hear this... I just turned 21 and I never felt more alone in my live and I am really lost in life...nobody talks about this!! thank you.
Honestly, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm turning 19 soon with few friends who i have just seemed to grow apart from, no job or career path and turning 20 is just around the corner. My teenage years were pretty shitty it all seems like a blur, for most of it i was so insecure in myself that i was never myself. Since leaving school then dropping out of college my self esteem has only got worse, i moved house then the pandemic started so i couldn't make any friends or try and get my life back on track. Since leaving school at 16 i have done nothing, and i really mean this. I didn't get out of bed which has now led me to some health problems and the anxiety has made me physically ill. When i was young i played classical guitar and piano, won awards for acting, got good grades and my social and family life was near perfect. As i've got older, i don't have any hobbies or get joy from things, multiple family members have passed away (both my nans passed in their early sixties and they were both my best friends) and the rest of my family grew apart. I know i love music, but i felt so out of my depth when doing it in college and it makes me sad because i know everything i've stopped or quit is because i've been too insecure to even function. I daydream about different lives and careers but have no idea where to start, if i wanted to go to university i would have to do a levels again and i'd be 23 by the time i would finish, alo uni life in the uk is too party culture for me, i love going out but not every night. `I count my blessings everyday but i cannot change my mindset, i don't see the point in most things. There's this sinking feeling everyday, i constantly worry i'll be stuck in a 9 to 5 job with a family that i feel trapped in before i've lived my life. People say travel, i want to but how? i have no friends to go with :(. There was some hope, i found something i loved, cooking and the dream school i could study at in london. I then got severe stomach issues and now have to be on a restrictive diet which means a career in food would be near impossible. I can't get myself out of this hole. I've wasted four years of my life and i'm wasting more everyday. I want a life filled with passion and love, i want a career that is my passion and a large family since mine was so small. I want to enjoy life again, i want to wake up with purpose, i want to go to bed knowing i have something worth waking up for. I feel pathetic as well, people have it harder i am lucky i am able to study and have access too things. People struggle everyday but still have jobs, families so why can't i sort myself out. I feel stupid, lazy and just like a coward whos too scared to try anything incase in goes wrong so i just hide away.
You don't know how much I needed this right now. I'm currently depressed and struggling with anxiety and an eating disorder, and I can relate so much to everything you just said. Wish we all start talking more about this...
Dear Alice, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! You have no idea how much this video means to me. I'm crying rn! Every word you spoke resonated with my heart inside out! And also, whenever someone asks me about my depression in the future, I am gonna fucking send them this video and tell, "THIS IS HOW I FEEL!". I'm that bad at expressing myself! :) Take care, Alice! Thank you once again!
I’m almost 25 and I NEEDED this! Thank you for this! I’ve been feeling stuck and not knowing what I want to do with my life. I thought by the time you are 25 you are I’ll know your self and who you are supposed to be
Oh, Alice, this video is so powerful and important. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Also, I’m so happy you’re doing better and engaged (!!!!). Congrats, girl! I already admired you for the music, but now I admire you even more
Hey Alice, thank you so much for being brave enough to be this honest on the internet and sharing this with us. I am 24 and I can honestly say that I have been experiencing my 20s in a very similar way. I am starting therapy soon (I tried before, but told myself that I should be able to deal with life by myself....). Your music has always inspired me to sing more and try and record myself and I am very thankful that you have been out here on the internet. anyway best wishes and lots of love !! Thankyou
I never expected this kind of video from you but I’m so glad you did it. I think a lot of people (including myself) needed this 💕 thank you for sharing and being vulnerable
To the right of my screen, I see suggested videos of you singing. One has 4 million views, another 941K, another 246K. I am a weird guy as I rarely listen to music now outside of my own meditation music and Gurus chanting. But I listen to yours for years now. You are an exception because there is something really special about your singing and obviously, millions of others feel this as well. So please let me say: I think you are doing pretty amazing! May I suggest: When you wake up in the morning, take 5 minutes to consider 3 things you are grateful for and how that makes you feel. Then think of 3 things you feel proud you have done and how that makes you feel. You might find this to be really helpful. Thank you for your honesty and for your beautiful songs.
The part where you spoke about thinking that you don’t have issues with self esteem? Girl. I felt that so much. I never thought I was insecure or had low self esteem, because since about 18 I’ve been happy with my appearance, and to me, that meant that I had good self esteem. But it’s so much more than that and I’m only just beginning to peel those layers back and understand how I really feel about myself, inside. It’s so easy to put yourself down because you’re not doing as well as another person, but really, we don’t actually know how that person is doing. Thank you for telling us how you are doing and striking a chord with so many people. It hits different when you see your struggle as not just your own. I respect you so much for sharing this and I’m so grateful that you did. Much love ❤️
Every second of this was pure gold. I’m a an inner babble person as well. You put into words so many formless soundless thoughts I think I’ve had in my early 20s.
ive been watching you since i was in like 6th grade and now im in college and im so proud of you and everything that you've accomplished. im younger than you and in no position to give anyone advice but one of the things I've learned is that the hardest part about getting better is recognizing that you need to get better. you've done that. its only uphill from here. we all struggle dude. this is life. we'll get through this its cool.
im 23, my mom just died after a long battle with cancer and I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. this hit hoooome omg I have no idea what I want and I thought I would have my shit together by now. just the validation that its normal to not be having a great time and enjoying my 20's because everyone says they're the best years. i just started a higher dose of my ssri and am going to therapy weekly, I am so happy you feel more secure and happy with life now! thank u for the validation
I really felt that point where you said that for some time you thought it was so weird for someone to wake up in the morning feeling excited. I’m 18 and I feel like I haven’t felt that in years and I don’t know if I’ll be able to feel it again. Things got so empty these past few years. Not that it was that much better before, but back then I feel like I had more strength and positivity within me and also I hadn’t dealt with grief. It was really nice watching this video and understanding that we all have our waves of emotions and mindsets in life and that some day things could get better. I wish you the best and I hope you can get to that point where you view yourself as the most valuable and lovely person!
Some of my favorite quotes - The only time you’re going to really hold onto the past is when you haven’t fully learned from it. worrying is like praying for something you don't want you are not what you do // your job is not your identity Peace is not the opposite of worry, prayer is the opposite of worry you are not your sensations // you are not your thoughts // you are your awareness instead of "is there enough for me?" // try "if you don't have enough, i'll share some of mine with you"
As someone who has been following you for so many years, this not only really comforted me but also made me feel so less alone knowing you as well have struggled. I grew up with a really rough childhood and as someone who is 22 and currently going through the motions of figuring everything out, I really needed to hear these things. Thank you for being vulnerable and open with us 💕
the way you describe this is literally how i describe it in my mind, i feel SO SEEN AND I AM SO HAPPY i get to see you at this time in your life 😭 also wow so true about how beating yourself up never leads to wanting to do things
I hope you continue posting videos like this. I’ve been following you for years and years now and have always been so inspired by you as a musician, it’s amazing to also get to know you as a person. Much love ❤️
I've dealt with anxiety and depression in the past, I recently turned 31 and I really do think things get better. When you're talking however, I'm reminded of something I also still do sometimes "I guess, Don't know, obviously" With these words it seems like you're talking yourself down, as if what you have to say doesn't matter, but of course it does! But I'm glad to hear you're working on it, and no need to strive for perfection either... ;) But anyways, for me personally yoga helped a lot with dealing with anxiety, I try to do yoga for 30 minutes every evening nowadays. And also, watching comedy helps a lot, and this is actually scientifically proven: just watch a comedy series for 30 minutes can help you feel more positive and relaxed (brooklyn 99, new girl, would I lie to you? (=british game show) are my favs!). There's already so much to stress about in this world, some comedy and watching these people deal with things in a funny, relaxed and confident way is quite educational :)
i needed to hear this. i just turned 19 and feel very lost in life right now. i’ve been praying for answers to all of the questions and concerns and fears i have lately and you covered absolutely everything. thank you for this🤍✨
I love rambled stuff thanks for posting that vidéo ! I related on some things like anxiety/depression/being hard on yourself and thanks to you I want to go see a therapist more than before which helps a lot
i needed this so much, im turning 23 in a couple months and i could relate to most things you said, which made me feel a little more normal and less alone. Thanks for posting this and i hope you keep getting better ❤
I can relate to this so much, im 19 going to 20 in a couple of weeks and I've been feeling so unmotivated to do stuff and like i have a fear of growing up and be all by myself, I can't imagine how people my age or younger can do grown up things so easily, I can't see myself in that position and it really bothers me, my mom has always said to me that when she was my age she did a lot of things by herself and im like yup im useless and a burden to my family, it really hurts and I can't seem to do anything about it
I am beyond grateful that you chose to share this video with us. I've have balling my eyes out for past half and hour because I've never connected with something more. You're words were truly comforting and your ability to be transparent is incomparable. It's beautiful. The fact that you wanted to share this for the purpose of giving others comfort, while also not feeling at your best, speaks VOLUMES about the true pureness of your heart. You deserve to get to know yourself because you are warm and beautiful. You DESERVE to feel the beauty of your own heart, everyday.
so glad you ending up deciding to posted this, thank you. being vulnerable and sharing experiences helps so many people on so many levels, from knowing that someone is out there that can relate, to picking up some tips, or in my case, giving me the courage to take more steps to be a better version of me and kinder to myself. a lot of what you said really resonates with me especially the part about changing the way you talk about yourself and changing the way you talk to yourself, and i would even add changing the way you talk to yourself about yourself. im still on this journey with a lot of people, and not sure where or what the destination is, but putting one foot in front of the other brings us one step closer to it.
oh my god when you said i thought i was grieving my childhood but i was really just depressed. It’s not normal to feel like every passing year gets darker and darker???
its not normal - things can feel like that for a little for sure but there's so much beauty in life that happens in your adult years - you just have to know where to look for it & be ready to receive it, if that makes sense but if nothing else comforts you right now if that is how its feeling - know that it will end. what your feeling is not adulthood, its just a reaction to your surroundings and maybe a lack of perspective since you're so young (because that's exactly how I was) and maybe you're unsettled because everything in the world is so crazy rn!
I don't usually comment but I just want to say that your song Marilyn got me through some really tough times, I played it over and over and sang to it in the past three months. I love it. Thank you so much for being who you are, even though you feel like you don't have your stuff figured out. I hope it'll get better for you over time, as it usually does. I love your music and wish you the best and will always support you although you're a complete stranger haha
I really relate to this so much.. I’m turning 22 this summer and I can’t even remember when I last felt happy or confident or comfortable with myself or my life, I’m also a major people pleaser and find all my self-worth in my grades, what people think of me etc. Sometimes I get moments or days when I feel more confident in myself/feel like I know myself, and honestly it’s like coming up for air.. the problem is finding that feeling long-term. Honestly it’s been so helpful to hear that it gets better, these often aren’t ”the best years” of our lives. Helps me feel less like I’m just caged within myself and there’s no escape from all this
How am I just now coming across this video?? Me and you are the same age and even have the same birthday, and everything you said rang true. 18-25 sucks, but listening to you explain the same feelings that I've been having make me feel like I'm not alone. Thanks for being my friend I've never met ✌
It is so comforting to know you experience so many of the same things I do. It is just so crazy because I’m also a singer and I finally just started to make my own music and post RU-vid covers. I came across your page a couple weeks back and I thought to myself she must be so proud with the amount of RU-vid following she has.... her life must be perfect blah blah blah all my thoughts rambling and self doubt... I was comparing myself to you for a couple of days thinking wow I don’t know if I’ll ever even get to that level on RU-vid. It’s crazy because as artists, we are always dreaming so big and putting ourselves down comparing ourselves to other artists, people, etc. (atleast I do) and you opening your heart gives me comfort in the fact we are all experiencing similar emotions about not feeling good enough. Just remember you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Thank you for sharing your message it gave me a lot of comfort and keep shining 🌟🌟🌟❤️❤️❤️
I cannot tell you how much this speaks to me, thank you so much for posting this, I hope you get to continue to realise how wonderful of a person you are, the world needs more people like you ❤️ much much love and thank you!
Thank you for posting this video, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who is feeling this way. During my teenage years I struggled with eating disorders and I thought it would be the worst period of my life, but during my early twenties I felt completely lost. I started suffering from anxiety, I questioned my life choices and I lost a lot of people who were important to me. Now I'm 23 and I'm starting to figure out who and where I wanna be. Sending you a lots of love.
I remember watching this video when it came out and there’s so much of what you said, that i still carry with myself and it’s already 2 years ago! Time moves fast
i come back to this a lot. thank you for talking about these things, it’s so comforting to see someone struggle like me and find ways to flourish despite.
the fact that this was recommended to me makes me think that youtube is inside my brain. I'm in my early 20's and everything you said really hit home, thank you.
I had an overwhelming sensation that made me shed a few tears to see the look on your face when you expressed how excited you are for US to share the same “magical experience of watching your brain not go to the worst possible place” someday. Thank you so much Alice. I’ve been following you online for so long and i’m just really glad to hear it’s possible to have struggled or be struggling and make it out of a train of thought that feels like one is bound to keep plunging deeper into just “getting older”. Im also so happy for all your growth. Ah! thank you, this is so important.
I'm the opposite, I have healed myself from depression and I have gotten to know myself more on a spiritual level for many years now. But on the other hand I never had any type of stability as in I never really been able to keep a job or make my own money for very long. Or been able to do anything for too long until I would get bored of it and quit. I'm working on overcoming that from a different perspective now!
Just turned 23 and feel the same way. It sucks. On antidepressants and trapped in an abusive home until I save enough to leave. Feels like I’m listening to a friend tho ty for the reassurance things get lots better!
Alice, thank you so much for sharing you thoughs. I'm 22 (almost 23) and I relate 100% with the things you said. I couldn't understand when people said that they don't know themselves, but now I do. It's scary & lonely & confusing, but this self journey has taugh me the difference between how other people see me and who I actually am. Your honesty and vulnerability was pure encouragement
This needs to be talked about so much more!! I am in the exact same position mentally and I started therapy a few months ago and I am not going to lie, it is so hard sometimes but I keep going because I can feel the changes it brings me. I think school especially doesn't prepare you for whats to come. My valdiation, like yours, always came from others and because I thrived in school and musically as well therefore I got loads of it. But now it's gone and I am struggeling to find self worth and to recognize my strenghts and talents. Adding the pressure of what people expect you to be like and achieve in your twenties, changing family situations, the belief in our society that your worth comes from what you achieve academically and so much more things you have to deal with just add up to a burden you can only carry on your own for a short time
Thank you so much for sharing this Alice. Sharing vulnerability makes human connection very deep because we get to all learn from each others true selves. It takes such courage to share these. Thank you! I have the same struggles as well, meditation has helped me so much too. I am serving in the military and still I feel vulnerable. Thank you for everything. I really love your inner self. Its very beautiful. I see the light within you. Keep it up. You are very loved.
When I started listening to your songs some years ago I always got the good vibe that you're a deep person with a lot of thoughts. When you mentioned you didn't understand how people are able to get out of bed and be excited, I was trying very hard not to cry because it's how I've been feeling for a while, and a lot more recently. All I could think of is yet another day of having to go through these awful feelings again. It's exhausting, and worse like you said, when you think it's going to last forever. I end up just keeping myself busy as to avoid acknowledging how I was feeling because I wanted to plough on and do things. Nowadays, I try (and fail a lot) to appreciate the little things in life, because there was a point where I accepted that happiness isn't permanent, and fluctuates. For example I used to think if I achieve x y z, then I'll be happy. But then after that, it could dim again. It's still hard though, even knowing that, but I hope one day I can still feel a bit more content than the present. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, it was unexpectedly raw and with social media being mostly about showing the best things, this felt very real. Congrats on your engagement, I wish you on a music success and that things go well for you 💕 (To end, I would like to share this clip that was recommended to me a while ago, I hope it comforts anyone who listens. It's called "an old man's advice" on yt)
Thank you so much for posting this I’m 20, in college, and feel a lot how you described your past self. I always feel like something is wrong with me or something and keep canceling my first therapist appointment, but this encouraged me to actually go and start.
Alice, this was so touching to hear your words and your story. Knowing that you are working on yourself and not tying your self worth to how much you accomplish is so important. For years, I’ve struggled with being forced not steer away from music and most of it was my inner voice telling me that I couldn’t do it and that everyone around me would be disappointed. I even feel the pressures of a day going by and not writing anything or coming up with an idea for a song and it’s so easy to get terrified that I am not doing enough. But that is never the case. Even though you are working on not basing your worth on what others think, I am so proud of you for the progress you’ve made. Much love to you.
i found you a few years ago & i remember never having heard a voice so close to an angel’s. i never kept up with your videos consistently but i’ve always felt this odd familiar fondness towards you even tho we’re complete strangers. you are so lovely, adored & worthy. thank you for being vulnerable w us 🤍
