Ok, I've read Pride and Prejudice at least 10 times, so I'm aware I have a different understanding of Mr Bennet than people who have only seen the movie (which I've also seen too many times to count). That said, I really disagree that he is parenting goals. He's indolent and prioritizes his own calm over everything else (there's a seen in the movie where Elizabeth tries to explain that Lydia shouldn't go to Bath that makes it pretty apparent, and she calls him out on it). I understand that he can come across as parenting goals, because he seems so open to listen, but that is true kind of for just Lizzie, because he finds her intelligent. He borders on apathetic with all of the others, which also kinda justifies his wife overbearing behaviour
There is also a P&P series of the Hot and Bothered podcast that came to the same conclusion reading through the book. Highly recommend it if you like the book. Don't know how the partens are portrayed in the movie though.
I think it's also a matter of perspective. for example with sending Lydia to Brighton to me it was him trying to let her have a taste of what he thought she wanted so she could come back and realize in a more mature way what a serious marriage was. that obviously was misguided but his conversation with Lizzie about it shows that it's not him being lazy and apathetic. it's a difference of opinion.
If people have only seen the 2005 movie instead of the more accurate 1995 BBC miniseries, they would be forgiven for thinking that, since the 2005 movie changed a lot of the characters personalities which changed their character arcs and motivations .
@@TheDisell It is lazy and apathetic though. He literally says he'd rather have a quiet house without Lydia then teach her how to behave. He let his wife do all the teaching, even though he knew that she wasn't capable. He didn't hire a governess for his kids. He didn't take on at least part of the parenting once he realised his wife wasn't doing it. He didn't set aside money for his daughter to make sure they wouldn't be homeless after his death (which is mentioned several times even in the 2005 movie, they'll be homeless and penniless when he dies). He disparages his wife and daughters in private and in public.
I actually have to disagree that Mr Bennett is a good father. Although he is a good friend to Lizzie, he looks down on his three youngest daughters and just labels them 'lost causes' at ages of 15/16. It's not a coincidence that Lydia gets caught up in a scandal and that it's Mr Darcy who arranges Lydia's marriage, Mr. Bennett just doesn't care what his daughter will do if she gets shipped off to another city. He does advise her well in the matter of marrying Mr Collins, but I think the same criticism as Easy A goes here: he's more of a friend than a parent, just reading in the corner and sneering at his wife. This may be interpreted as him being a man of a different time, but that lands him at 'doing your best', not parenting goals.
Another thing he should have done was set aside money for his daughters. The Bennetts are by no means poor measured by their yearly income, but the daughters will only inherit their share of Mrs. Bennett’s dowry of 5000 pounds (so a thousand a daughter) once Mr. Bennett dies, which wasn’t enough to live on without marrying well. He says on the book that they always planned on having a son who would inherit the estate and take care of his sisters but since that didn’t happen the daughters are in a though situation and I can understand Mrs. Bennett’s desire to marry them off.
I totally agree although I think that comes across much more in the book than in the movie, it’s a lot easier to see him as a good father in the movie I think
Yes! To be fair, the 2006 movie didn't do a great job overall at getting a lot of the book across (as just a movie I think it is wonderful). But it shows the Bennets as poo enough to have a pig in the house when in reality they were still upper class and well-off. The trouble is that Mr. Bennett hadn't done anything to set his kids up financially. The movie glazes over everything he should have/could have done. It also kind of ignores the other sisters and what they have going on. Lizzie is obviously Mr. B's favorite - he shouldn't be judged only on how he treats her. He really isn't shown to care much about the other girls or his wife.
I may be influenced by having read the book multiple times, but I actually think Mr. Bennett is Bare minimum - he has five daughters but really only cares what happens to one of them. Mrs. Bennett may be A Lot as a person but she is doing the most because she cares SO much, although funnily enough, she cares the least about the one child Mr. Bennett does care about. (Oh, and the reason she is desperate to marry off these daughters is because Mr. Bennett (and she herself to a certain extent) has been so poor at managing their money that even though the estate is pretty lucrative they don't have money to give their kids when they die, which I would say is definitely Bare minimum-tier parenting!)
Oh for sure! Mr. Bennet is a terrible parent to all but Lizzie and Jane. He is a terrible husband to Mrs. Bennet, who is 100% annoying, but once you understand her motivations (trying to make sure her 5 daughters would be married and would not be impoverished) you feel a lot of sympathy for her.
When I reread the novel as an adult a lot more sympathy for Mrs Bennett - she is the only one with an awareness of the very real risk of a life of genteel poverty for her daughters if they did not marry well and although her methods might make us cringe her heart is actually in the right place. Where as when i was a teenager i thought Mr Bennett a great father, where as now i can see he was at best apathetic about his daughters upbringing and futures and worst just sneeringly cruelly dismissive of everyone except Lizzie and (mostly) Jane. Even poor Mary who as a book nerd like him is lumped in with Kitty and Lydia as 'silly girls' and pretty much ignored.
@@sianthesheep Yeah, honestly, once he realised that his wife wasn't smart and wasn't really able to do all the things she should be doing, he should have at least hired someone to instruct his kids. A good governess who has his support could have done a lot to teach all the girls so much. But he didn't even care enough to make sure his favourite child wouldn't be homeless after his death.
While I can understand your point, I always felt that Mrs. Bennett, while caring for her daughters being impoverished, was also more worried about herself. Admittedly, I can see it both ways and I am only a recent entry to Jane Austen fandom and still haven’t finished the actual book, but I swear in the books it was more about how her trying to ensure her comfort when Mr. Bennett dies. But maybe I am misunderstanding/misremembering things
@darkserpentcat3309 Yes and no. When she married Mr. Bennet, her future seemed secured. Now she has to face the reality that she and her children will be homeless when Mr. Bennet dies. He barely seems interested in his daughters futures. The more daughters she can marry off, the more housing options she has for herself and her unmarried daughters.
One comment I read said the rest of the family may have thought he committed suicide. Which apparently in Latin America is such a great sin they don't get talked about at all. That's why everyone is so happy to see him again at the end of the movie. Except Dolores, who knew the whole time.
I love this video! So fun!!! My "parenting goals" parents are Morticia and Gomez. They encourage their children's interests, give them both space and support, and model a healthy romantic partnership. Love to see it 🫶💯🥰
If you're putting Olive's parents in "You're Doing Great" for their benevolent neglect, Mr. Bennet should go there as well, because he's neglecting his daughters' future health & happiness by *not* trying to get them good marriages and making his wife do all the work (and stressing her out as a result). Because if Bingley & Darcy were out of the picture and Mr. Bennett died, they would all be basically cast out onto the streets. The ladies own nothing but their dowries, and it's established that they're not all that sizable. We read/watch P&P and think "aww, he's so cool," but after reading up on the history of the time for women, he honestly becomes the bad guy of the story. XD By today's standards, sure, it's nice that he's nice - but he's neglecting his Regency role as sole provider in a way that's going to seriously and negatively impact his family when he's gone.
Even in the text of the book Mr Bennet is called out for not providing for his daughters, or teaching them when their mother clearly wasn't capable. And that in a time where children of the gentry would be raised by nursery maids and governesses, and wouldn't see their parents more than a few times a day, he is still called out for not taking an interest. Darcy tells Lizzie about her father's behaviour, and initially she dismisses it, but then she thinks about it and realises that yes, her father ought to have been teaching all his daughters, but he hasn't, her father even disparages and mocks his own wife and daughters in private (bad enough) and in public, where Darcy heard. Lizzie even tries to make her father change, and make him teach Lydia, but instead Mr Bennet is content to send Lydia out and let her make mistakes with dire consequences, because teaching her, and dealing with her when she's unhappy, would be a chore and cause noise, and he wants a quiet house so he can read.
as a middle child, this statement feels insanely accurate. for me it was essentially my parents learning alongside my older sister, then when i came along trying to do everything the same (unsuccessfully cause we're different people) and then when my little sister came along they adjusted to her personality, as they did with my older sister. its insane how difficult that makes family discussions, cause when i say ANYTHING negative about my childhood experience, my older sister immediately shuts me down and gets annoyed, cause 'we had a very good childhood', when in reality that might have been the case for her but my childhood was consistent of fighting, crying and isolation. it often feels like my parents still hold a grudge against me cause 'i wasnt like my sisters'. i think it was even more difficult cause my older sister is only 1 1/2 years older then me and my younger sister is a whole 8 years younger then me, so my parents had enough time to observe their parenting errors. so yeah, quite the different parents
This is something that was a big wedge between my older sister and I while growing up but I'm very thankful that we were able to recognize the issue was our parents and not our own. We're very different people from a personality standpoint but I will never fail to have her back. I got to have a "good" childhood /because/ she had a "less good" one. And that's not my fault for being born but I will never invalidate her feelings by contradicting her lived experience.
The same principle is what makes your parents as grandparents so different from what you remember from your childhood. You got the young, inexperienced, stressed out version, your kids are getting the older, wiser, more patient version. As I once heard someone say "the grandfather is the horse the son tamed so the grandson could ride".
I think Mr. Bennet might be parent goals for Lizzie, but I don´t think I would rank him there on his parenting of any of the other girls, especially not on the 3 younger Bennet sisters. I would put him in bear minimum for Mary, Kitty and Lydia. He makes sure they have a roof over their heads, are fed and entertained, but he rarely even has a conversation with them.
100% agree. If looking at all five girls, I would say that Mrs. B is a better parent than her husband. She genuinely cares about how their lives will turn out when they leave home and she WORKS for it. He floats down the easy path and only takes action if he absolutely has to.
He doesn't even make sure they have a home or money after he dies, or some kind of dowry. Not even his favourite child. He looks down on his own daughters for being silly girls, and never once seems to think to himself that he ought to have been teaching them better.
@@alyssahougham6626 Yeah, she tries really hard to make sure their futures are safe, she just isn't smart or capable enough to do it. And he just does nothing, really.
We all wish that we had Olive's parents. They're laid back, open minded, and full of witty banter. Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson stole the movie!
Me too, i never felt like my mom fully trusted me and they feel like they trust her enough but are also concerned when it rightfully looks like its getting out of hand. I really hated being treated like a child when i was little, i felt useless.
Man, I can't help but bristle at Mrs. Bennett as 'weird, dark, and crazy', and Mr. Bennett as 'goals'. I feel like it's easy to overlook how much of the social burden falls on women, and she's trying to prepare her daughters for that. I know it's not ideal by current standards, but is it really weird or crazy?
Yeah. What people don’t seem to understand is that Mrs. Bennett is trying to secure her daughters' future. They have no inheritance right, so when Mr. Bennett dies they’ll be basically destitute unless they are married and have their own homes. Or dependent to Mr. Collins' kindness to not end up on the streets and that is not something a good parent would want for their child.
I agreed with Jono that she was more "you'll understand when you're older" just because she didn't seem to understand why anyone would think she was being inappropriate. Because even in that time, people were looking down on her for her behavior, but they didn't understand the pressure she was under either so...But I definitely don't see her as weird, dark, and crazy. Nor do I see Mr. Bennett as "goals". He was "doing your best" with Lizzy and Jane, but "bare minimum" with the rest. I don't dislike Mr. Bennett, they all had their societal pressures and expectations. But he certainly wasn't goals.
I have so many feelings about pride and prejudice. I think Mr Bennett is a good parent for Lizzie, but a bare minimum parent for the rest of the children.
I always interpreted Olive not telling her parents more about the situation she is getting into, as her not wanting to disappoint her parents. She seems to have been a very good child without any acting out until that point. It would also explain the laid back attitude of her parents, they have never had to be strict. I still think they did a pretty good job, they were supportive and non-judgemental. Teenagers want/need their own life, to have secrets, and they have to be given more freedom than a younger child. I don't agree that you do strict parenting up until the 18th birthday and then lay off completely. You have to let a teenager go out in life, make mistakes, come back and then you will be supportive and help them.
No way! I just discovered the Cinema Therapy channel a couple of weeks ago and LOVE IT and now all of a sudden you’re doing a collab with them! So crazy!
Alma from Encanto is NOT a "Bare Minimum" Parent or Grandparent. She is putting in effort for her family and the community. Where she is coming in at "Bare Minimum" is with Mirabel for the last few years after Mirabel failed to get a gift. Alma seems like that because Mirabel is the POV character that we follow. Also, even in Mirabel's life, Alma is not doing the "Bare Minimum" but she is judging Mirabel as lesser because Mirabel does not have an obvious gift to contribute to the community. (This is also a major part of many Latino families where your worth (and the love you get for that worth) has to do with what you do for the family)
As a mother to 3 teenage boys I tend to sympathize with Olive's parents and their "supportive yet somewhat hand's off" approach. I know from my own experience that once kids hit middle school they become more autonomous and begin to push back against too much parental involvement/interference. At that age their favorite lines were, "Mom! Stop Mom-ing all over me!" and "Omg, you're being such a Mom right now!" Once they reach that age they'll definitely shut you out altogether if you hover too much.
Stanley Tucci is just one of those actors who make everyting they're in automatically a bit better. That little moment right at the end of one of the family dinner scenes, where he asks his adopted son where he's from originally, always gets me. Just brilliantly foolish with a perfect delivery.
I think that we have to give Mrs Bennett a bit of a break! She definitely had bad moments but she had to marry off 5 kids! She was being realistic about her daughter's choices (marriage or poverty) and Mr Bennett was meh. There is a really cool episode of the Sentimental Garbage podcast with Cariad Lloyd where she explains the parents' relationship and their parenting styles really well.
Ellie Dashwood has a great series about all kinds of things related to P&P, and she makes a very excellent point that the dad is being *atrociously* laissez-faire with his daughters' futures, and as a result, the mom has damn good reason to panic about getting them good marriages or else they will be destitute. They say in this ep "she's doing *so* much," and yeah, it's because the dad isn't doing jack shit. :\ Easy enough to argue that the dad is actually the bad guy from a plot standpoint. He is responsible for the entire household's future, and he just doesn't seem to care.
@@ZaftiqueThere is also a P&P series of the Hot and Bothered podcast that came to the same conclusion reading through the book. Highly recommend it if you like the book. Don't know how the partens are portrayed in the movie though.
I'm gonna agree about Mr Bennett and the fact that he does just the bare minimum. He's so neglectful. Yes, he comes across being a wonderful father ... to Lizzie. But i'll remind you that he has in fact 5 daughters. You cannot tell me after what happens with Lydia that he's a good parent. And the fact that you have thoses glances of good parenting with Lizzie (she's the most like him) only means that he could be a "good" parent for his other daughters. He just won't waist his time. Because that's the thing about Mr Bennett, he's actually lazy and a product of his time and his situation with the entail. He could have done so much in terms of saving money, educating his daughters AND his wife who wasn't raise a gentlewoman. But he didn't because to him, with Longbourn being entailed and not having a son, it's a waist. He clearly loves his family and he's quite the scholar. He could have done more to improve his family situation. Mrs Bennett gets a bad wrap but this is clearly a woman of her time, who wasn't born in the gentry and who has barely been educated, being complety afraid for her daughters and her future prospects. Mr Bennett attitude doesn't help at all. So it's bleeds into her parenting style ... A LOT 😂
For the Barbie movie, I actually disagree with the portrayal of the husband; he was such a nonentity in the movie you could have written out every scene with him in it and the movie would not have changed one bit. He either needed to have more of an active but supportive presence, or just dump the character and make her a single parent. Honestly the movie would have worked better had Gloria BEEN a single parent.
I can't help feeling disappointed at the scarcity of Moms who are "Parenting Goals." You might see them a bit more often in older films (e.g. I Remember Mama, Auntie Mame), but the only ones I can think of from more recent films are in Little Women and Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret and maaaaybe Jojo Rabbit (although she might be more You're Doing Great, as in the best she can under very horrible circumstances). Just why is it so rare to find a movie mom who fits in the Parenting Goals tier?
OMG!!!! IS THIS THE DREAM COLAB, BEST COLAB EVER?!?!?!?!?! I've never said that before, but this is awesome! The colab I didn't know I wanted and needed! 😍
this was so fun! i think the only one i disagreed with is mr. bennet. hes one of my alltime favourite austen characters but he is SO permissive. i love that he has those more confident moments like when he stands up for elizabeth with colins and because of their circumstances it makes total sense for him to be pitted against mrs. bennet but IRL id hope for more repair between the two parents afterwards and an effort to get on the same page and balance their opposing values and desires for the kids BEFORE it affects the kids lol. this more cohesive unit where mrs. bennets anxious fears and mr. benets tendency to convince himself he has no opinions or sway would be more proactively balanced. i see him as the kind of person whos like "experience is the best teacher" and mrs. bennet is like "we MUST prepare and plan everything ahead of time" and both of those perspectives hold value. but too much in one cup is detrimental.
Loved the vid, and this is not a slight to Dan in any way, but mr bennet is a terrible parent! He isolates himself from his family to fulfil his own interests, and shows his lack of care and interest in his daughters’ problems when he is around. He favours Lizzie because she is most like him, but makes no effort to have a relationship with the rest of them (apart from maybe Jane). He dismisses his younger daughters because he thinks they’re silly, rather then teaching and guiding them to grow up a bit more. He definitely cares about his daughters, but he doesn’t care about his role as father. I think that was Austen’s point, to have the contrast of mr and Mrs Bennett clear as day to the readers that Lizzie and Jane are the only sane ones in a family of absolute weirdos, hence why Darcy is put off.
Evelyn is Bare Minimum for me. Even at the end where we as the audience are supposed to assume she's grown or learned something... she lobs every single one of the old, retraumatising insults back at her daughter. The only "growth" is that she follows the insults up with some version of, "but I guess I still choose you no matter how much you suck." That, to me, is farrrr below bare minimum. Zero lessons learned. Same for Abuela. She apologised with her words, but so many of us didn't find her believable. She also offers up a story of her own trauma, which is supposed to serve as an excuse for her abhorrent behaviour toward her family, all of whom are dealing with serious trauma symptoms of their own which stem directly from Abuela's behaviour. Not to mention how many Latin folks I've heard saying, "An abuela apologising is the most unrealistic thing imaginable. That'd never happen in my family." And it didn't feel remotely earned in the movie either.
I agree with all the comments about Mr Bennett being awful, but he is great with people he respects (ie. Lizzie, not Mrs Bennett, not his younger kids). I do feel like the Dan analogy in the video might have thrown off the ranking--hard to criticise when Hannah's just made that note. To be clear, not a comment on Dan at all--Mr Bennett does have a pretty cool side.
I am weird dark crazy, and my kids grew up with an example of that. They know that I am not perfect, but I am always standing beneath to catch them if they fall. I have told my oldest daughter, "For any family, the first kid is an experiment. I'm glad you turned out as well as you did." She's in her 30s now, a mom, and really appreciates those younger years.
I loved the Encanto portion, but I have to say maybe Mirabel herself should be on the list for her relationship with 'Tonio. Like, yeah, she's not his mom, but because she's been stuck in the nursery her whole life due to not developing powers, she's clearly been a big influence on him and a caretaker. We can see that in the scenes with her and him leading up to the ceremony to determine his gift, and it's really telling that he begs her to walk with him there. Obviously this is in a lot of ways more of an elder sibling role, but I think she should get an honorary place on that list (Mostly due to being such a *good* big sister to 'Tonio)
Coming here from Cinema Therapy's channel- Loving this collab! I'm a big fan of those dads, and hearing more from you in this video was equally a treat! Great fun 💛
very unpopular take.. but i think julieta y agustín are bare minimum. They focussed only in Mirabel, the one with the most "obvious" problem, but 100% neglected their other 2 daughters, both with deep emotional issues. Like.. Isabella was about to marry someone she didn't even knew, and said nothing about it?? And they were okay with Luisa, 19 years old, doing physical labour all day every day without taking breaks?? They may have been good parents with Mirabel, but they seem awful with Isabella and Julieta
I’m sure someone, somewhere has already said this…. But I definitely would’ve left Mrs Bennet as “ You’ll understand when you get older” BECAUSE many mothers during that time were negligent in favor of their own vanity. Instead of ensuring that their daughters were married, many saw their own 15/16yr old daughters as competition. Granted, most of the moms were in their early 30s so having an ego at 30/32 makes sense. You see the contrast in Mrs Bennet ensuring that all of her daughters are taken care of far better than she maintains herself & it consumes her. It is why she corrects Lizzie so harshly; she has no idea how monumental of a task she has with five girls all out at once. She doesn’t have time to worry about decorum, she has 1-3 yrs to get them all out of the house and to ensure that they’re taken care of before Mr. Bennet dies. She loves them dearly and wants their best chances of survival, but they allow Mr. Bennet’s somewhat distain of their mother color their lenses and it creates a lot of willful misunderstanding of her and their place in society.
If you really understood Regency England, you would know that Mr. Bennet is indeed a "bare minimum" father. And the fact that he has a favorite child and doesn't even try to hide it makes things even worse.
I think for the purposes of this video, that they were specific about which mr. Bennett they were talking out. Because the mr Bennett in the 2005 movie is very different from the book or earlier movie.
Mr. Bennet is absolutely bare minimum. He is a non-participant in his daughters upbringing. He has not set anything aside for their dowry, even after knowing he wouldn't have a son. He has not made sure that they got the expected minimum education by having a governess or sending them to a girl's school, giving them a higher chance of a good marriage. Yes, he cares about his wife and his girls, but he has not done anything to secure their futures.
As the parent of three now grown offspring, I see Olive's parents as parenting goals. Teens today are far more advanced than perhaps some realize. Her parents know her and trust her. They have given her a strong foundation and allow her to make mistakes. And through all of it, they offer unconditional love.
I think Olive hid the whole truth from her parents because she wanted to maintain their chill attitude towards her, she knew they would have been understanding but also disappointed and i think she wasn't the kind of daughter who wouldn't care. But I also agree they should have created a space where she felt like she can tell them a disappointing fact about herself.😊
If only Mirabel’s parents pushed back more. It would have been awesome. I agree with everything you said, but Mr. Bennet is not parenting goals. He’s more like you’re doing great
2 videos in 1 day??!! I'm loving sheer AMOUNT of Hannah content we're getting but I can't help thinking someone didn't get the scheduling quite right 😅 LOVE YOU HAN ❤ xx
i’ve seen easy a, idk at least 6 times… and didn’t realize till this youtube video, that their names are dill, and rosemary, and they named their daughter olive!? 🤭😅 was there some thematic reference or reason for that naming theme that goes over my head? i never read the scarlet letter
I came to the comments section to talk about Mr. Bennett, and it looks like I'm not the only one! Whether in the movie or in the book, I think Mr. Bennett's ranking really depends on which child you're talking about him parenting -- Jane and Lizzie, great, Mary, okay, and then Kitty and Lydia, negligent! I think the, "you'll understand when you're older" argument that was used about Jefferson could be applied to him here, except not in a great way -- as he continued to have girls, or children in general maybe, he gradually started caring less and less, so overall, I would categorize him in "You'll understand when you're older" or "Bare Minimum."
The whole "I'm married to Mr Bennet" conversation had me laughing 😂😂 And Jonno putting Mrs Bennet as "you'll understand when you're older" actually reminded me of a scene btwn Mrs B and Elizabeth where she really say basically the same thing to Lizzie; Lizzie is mad and is like "is that really all you care about!?" and Mrs Bennet says "come back to me when you have 5 daughters that need to be married, and then maybe you'll understand" and while I dont necessarily agree with her parenting/how she goes about that, I thought that was great that that was the tier he put her in bc she literally says that in the movie lol.
I’d assumed that the Weird, Dark, and Crazy category was made for Gomez and Tish, who honestly might be parenting goals. Weird ones, but goals. As a thought, though, Augustin does directly stand up for his daughter to his mother in law when push comes to shove. Too little too late? Maybe, but it‘s there.
I' m fan of the Grangers,Hermione' s parents. They could have easily said: You' re ging to Eton or so. Hermione would have made it at Eton and Oxford,we know that. And in Hogwarts they were outsiders. And they couldn' t relate much. But they let Hermione go. That was great and she paid it back.
I had "Crush" parents but without the friendship. I mostly just worked to not have any interactions with them. Especially once I got my license and a beater of a car, it was so much easier to just ignore them and focus on school, band, after school clubs, etc. so it was also easier to support them ignoring me.
OMG!!! So this is like when 2 worlds collide :) My 2 favorite YT channels met each other :D I've been following you for almost 10y and Cinema Therapy for around 2y. Thanks a lot. Awesome! I would be curious where would you put the Addams family :) I would put them to "Parenting goals". Even they are "weird, dark, and crazy". :D
Aside from Pride & Prejudice, I've not seen any of these movies (probably because I'm single and childless), but I had so much fun watching y'all rank these movies! And now I want to see several of them. X) This made me wish y'all had explored the crazy relationship between the mom and daughter in Lady Bird, but I barely remember the dad in that movie, so not sure it'd be "parents" so much as just the mom you'd have ended up discussing. Lol. Anyhoo, loved this! I enjoy both channels, and it was a treat to see y'all team up! :D
Love the collab videos you guys have been doing!!!!!!! Two of my favourite youtube channels, never would have thought your worlds would collide but it makes so much sense!
I know there isn't a tier for them, also it's a TV show, not a movie, and also they're never shown, but the absolute under-the-bottom-of-the-barrel parents is Will Grellos's parents from "Tim And Eric Awesome Show: Great Job!". Let's just say if you're in your 40s screaming about past actions your father did and involuntarily wetting your pants from it, you probably did something wrong.
I think in these you are kind of overlooking something and that is the culture and enviroment of the characters in the movie, like having parents that have to grow in a not so good childhood or decade or neighborhood will change the way you see thing as a prent and also the thing you will prioritize when teach them about the world and stuff. In Latin America it is said that the home is sedimented in its women, exposing that men are normally not part of raising a child but also the lack of support that women have in household matters such as raising something and managing the other, So most women who are heads of the family cannot afford the 'luxury' of not being strong and making you have fear of them. 😅
A film that absolutely blew me away with parenting and its complexities, especially surrounding neurodivergence, is Xiavar Dorans film in Mommy. Also his autobiographical film "I killed my mother" is moving and also focuses on a mother's struggle. Both absolutely incredible.
I love both channels, but it's like two separate worlds. I was so surprised to suddenly see them in a video together! But it worked well, so fun and insightful!
I have to strongly disagree on Mr Bennet and also Peppa and Felix. Mr Bennet is Bare Minimum. The only reason Mrs Bennet is so crazy is that he’s been so lackadaisical in the management of his family and finances that, despite having a more than adequate income and knowing for at least a decade that a male heir was unlikely to be forthcoming, he’s set nothing aside to provide for his children after his demise. He married an unsophisticated woman for her beauty and then was mad that she wasn’t a genius so he treated her like crap. The only child he likes is the one who shares his sharp sense of humor and will join him in “laughing at their neighbors.” He’s entirely dismissive of his 3 youngest daughters, even Mary whose studiousness is an obvious attempt to gain paternal approval. He even mocks Jane’s heartbreak. For me as the child of a bipolar mother, Pepa is TRIGGERING; especially the scenes with her son Camilo (whose gift, and I don’t think this is a coincidence, is the ability to shapeshift). There was one in particular where Camilo is trying to placate and calm her by offering her tea while she continues to be volatile and it was all-too familiar. Recall also that Dolores is one of her children, and while Dolores’s gift of super hearing may not seem immediately related, it does cause her to adopt a very meek, quiet, walking on eggshells affect that’s perfectly suited to appeasing a volatile and unsafe parent. Felix, while he may be a wonderful partner to Pepa, is not a great parent. He’s lots of fun as long as his wife doesn’t need him to be her emotional crutch, but whenever she becomes unstable (which she seems to do daily) he drops everything, stops parenting and requires the kids to go into “pamper mom” mode. It’s a realistic depiction of something that happens in families, and I don’t doubt that Felix loves his family (and especially Pepa) very much, but it’s not a healthy model and certainly not “parenting goals.”
I've managed to skip the parenting module of life. I just stayed with the DINKY install. So, of course, I am a expert in child raising as I have never had any of my knowledge and assumptions proven wrong. So if anyone wants to the correct answer to your given problems, feel free to ask 🙂
Ooooo I’m surprised mr Bennett got such a high ranking. I love him as a character but mmmmm he’s kind of only a good parent to Lizzy and sort of Jane and maybe Mary but like he’s kind of dismissive of all of them. He is only warm and caring to half of them and arguably only lizzy like i dont know he’s kind of doing bare minimum.
I agree with others who have commented on Mr. and Mrs. Bennett. To me, Mrs. Bennett is "you'll understand when you're older" because she just doesn't understand why anyone would think she's being inappropriate when she has so much to worry about. She also plays favorites between her daughters, which I don't think I've seen anyone comment about yet. Mr. Bennett pays no attention to anyone unless he has to. With Lizzy and Jane, he's "you're doing great", but with everyone else he's doing the bare minimum. What Jono said about there being a difference between how you treat the oldest and youngest kids, that's on full display here. Lizzy and Jane were well taught and are good mannered, even Mary is for the most part as well. But by the two youngest, they just gave up lol. Neither of them were taught well and it bites them in the ass.
I think you guys are a little hard on the Easy A parents…. As the movie isn’t about them. & the movie wouldn’t be the film if they saved Olive. They also have another child & seem to be parenting him fine (& you guys sort of ignored that). I also read it as they were trusting Olive to come to them when she needed them (along with being part of the plot demands). Also embarrassing your children on purpose is so weird…
Only thing that would have made this better wouldve been Steve Martin, Rick Moranis characters and the mother whos daughter is dating Keanu Reeves in Parenthood
Just had an additional sudden realisation that what really rubs me up the wrong way about Mr bennet at this point in my life is that he is a "Not like other girls father". He loves Lizzy exactly for that side of her and he despises his other daughters for all other traits a stereotypical woman might have. As well as Mrs Bennet herself (not that is is a positive role model)
I feel like this is a major mis-categorization of Gloria, even though the category was named for her. They mention that her personality and outside life "seep" into her parenting... AS THOUGH THAT'S A POINT AGAINST HER. WTF. No. Your parenting absolutely is going to be shaped by your own life and who you are. SHE is weird dark and crazy, but her parenting is 100% goals. She is not over-sharing, she's not forcing her child to be her support, she's not overstepping boundaries. She's RESPECTING her child, treating her as a full person worth listening to, trusting her to handle what she has proven she's capable of handling, and letting her take the lead when appropriate. Her daughter having informed opinions on feminism isn't evidence that mom's "weird dark" life is infecting her... that's evidence of a healthy relationship despite normal age-appropriate pushback. She's a pre-teen at the age where she is actively asserting her independence from her parents (something that can be very difficult for parents, but totally developmentally typical), but she's still embracing her mom's influence and fully loving her mom for who she is, AND is willing to appropriately criticize and call her out. How is that not all goals? Parenting goals definitely should not require a person to keep all their personal stuff out of their relationship... that's kind of messed up. That was sort of the whole point of the "weird dark and crazy" monologue. She's parenting goals BECAUSE she's weird dark and crazy. Evelyn was the perfect pick for "weird dark crazy" because she is figuring out a way to parent through her toxic traits. She's breaking all sorts of patterns just to get to the point of approaching parenting in a way that might not be quite ideal, but she's making it work because she loves her daughter. It's sort of the opposite of Gloria... There's no sense that Evelyn is just a "weird dark crazy" person, she's just a "normal" person. She moves to a "weird dark crazy" zone in order to fix a very strained relationship and to correct her own behavior. Gloria's character arc is just learning to embrace who she really is... she never really needed to change anything about how she was parenting.
Oh and for Encanto... I think there was a lot more information on their parenting then they really picked up on. Mirabel's parents should be in goals. You guys are complaining that they don't push back against the family system... but they totally do. Repeatedly. We outright see them talk to Abuela repeatedly about treating her better. No, they're not successful, and no they're not always spot on with their messaging. But within the cultural expectations and family structure they live, I think they're doing fantastic. Pepa and Félix are more interesting because we don't see as much directly about how they interact with their kids. However we DO see a fair amount of their kids interacting with them. We see that when Antonio needs comfort and reassurance, he depends on his cousin. We see that Camilo constantly has to switch between acting as a caregiver (to his mother and to random villagers apparently) and a tension breaking jokester. We see that Dolores is always compelled to "tattle," but at the same time she's not self confident enough to speak up when it's important or to disturb the status quo. I don't think Pepa and Félix are necessarily bad parents, but I do get the sense that they are much more focused on themselves and each other than their children, and their children have either learned that it's their job to safeguard the feelings of everyone else and/or they've learned alternate ways to get their own needs taken care of.
What do people think for Uncle Ben in Spider Man with his iconic advice: With great power comes great responsibility. Goals? Understand when you're older?
I would’ve liked to have seen Ladybird in this list. I don’t know how to feel about Laurie Metcalf and I loved Tracy Letts, but I’m also not a parent. I have, however, been a teenage girl at odds with her mother.
