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I am a woman in aerospace and when you talked about the expectations to “be/appear happy” was so triggering. We were recently told by our corporation that mask are no longer required. The first thing I said was, “great I am going to be expected to smile again.” While all the men laugh, I was being serious. These expectations still exist to an extent! Comments like, smile, why aren’t you smiling are a constant. As if it’s in my job description to smile at all times. 🙄
As a retail pharmacist and a woman, I have experienced a similar thing. I think all women have, and it's so annoying. Luckily, I don't think a coworker has ever told me to smile except as a joke, but older male customers used to do that all the time before masks. It's hard in the customer service world to say "don't tell me to smile" or ignore comments like that because we are taught to always be nice and accommodating. It's sad that masks were great for women because it sometimes served as an excuse not to wear makeup, not to smile all the time, or not to have to constantly monitor our RBF.
As a fellow woman in aerospace, instead of smiling I started nodding. A chin up bro nod for my coworkers I'm close with and a downward more respectful nod for those I don't know as well. It gets me out of fake smiling while no one can accuse you of being unfriendly because you definitely acknowledged their presence. Plus it makes me laugh when the bro nod throws them off 😂
My boyfriend has been overhearing this video and he said, "if you wanna be more masculine and make more money than me, i am NOT emasculated by that! I'd be like yes, mama, I'll be your house husband!"
I, a feminine lesbian whose fursona is a pansexual kistune, consent to be virtually and platonically bench pressed by very strong Polish American powerlifter. 🦊🏋🏻♀️
I, a feminine Polish American lesbian who can't bench press a mouse would just swoon into the vapors if I was virtually and platonically bench pressed by a very strong Polish American powerlifter. Hello, let us commence the femme ritual greeting dance.
When the book said ninety percent of the college women weren’t dating, I immediately thought they reported they weren’t dating to avoid being shamed for being “loose.” Considering societal pressures of the time, wouldn’t it be a marker of supposed virtue to not be dating?
Yeah, by 1969 the pill had been available to all women for a few years. The diaphragm was popular. The sexual revolution was a thing. It was still more acceptable for guys to be sexual creatures, but I'm hard-pressed to believe that 90% wasn't fucking bullshit. Then again, I don't know how the questions were worded. Was the word "dating" used? If so, maybe some of the survey-takers took "dating" to mean "in a monogamous relationship" as opposed to "casually seeing one or more people." Of course, this is assuming the statistic didn't come straight from Maureen's ass in the first place.
I was watching a video by people who went to BYU where they said you were expected to date around (the woman’s dating schedule looked like the schedule of my successful dogwalking business) but also not get down. Which explains why the gd dean of students knows about people’s dating lives
By emphasizing that it's perfectly okay for an older man to go after a "young girl" and making statements regarding how a "childlike" quality is attractive to men, it frightens me to think that Maurine was so deeply indoctrinated into the Mormon church that she found child SA to be acceptable. It also begs the question, though, was SHE a victim of it herself, hence the writing of this book? Was this written as her way of justifying it for herself? Either way, it's both sad and chilling.
There's a RU-vid channel called "Jordan & McKay" run by two ex Mormons. I can't remember the name of the video, because they have a billion of them, but they talk specifically about why Mormons push women and girls to act childlike. It's some weird shit I tell you. They talk about a ton of Mormon culture and how corrosive it is if you're interested in learning more about Mormons.
@@plutoh9958 I would imagine it was a Mormon thing. I've read that there are books that are by LDS authors and popular primarily in the LDS world. I bet there are some weird ones in Utah attics.
This woman dead ass put the story of grandpa groomer in this book and had it published. The lack of self awareness is thicccccer than Savy’s biceps next year.
"She is apt to have good mental health that comes from proper attitudes and a worthwhile character. If she is free from guilt over the way she has treated other people and if she has an appreciation for the blessings of life, these things will show up in her happy, relaxed facial expressions." ... Mormons believe poor mental health comes from sin. They have a scripture which states, "Wickedness never was happiness." I used to be Mormon and 7 years ago, they sent two men to my apartment to ask my husband what sin I was committing that was making me depressed. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and was living in Idaho. My husband threw them out. (We left together less than six months later over the Mormon church's homophobia and we're still together.)
If I were alive at this time I would 100% be the woman addicted to benzos because my life would be an unyielding hellscape with no escape. As an ace/aro person who actively hates all the things she’s praising, I’d welcome the benzos. Also, if we ever meet, you’ve my consent to bench press me as long as I get a pic of it.
As a woman who was raised in Mormonism, I have been so excited for this video. This book is as horrible as I imagined. The Lularich family is uniquely heinous, and also in some ways typically Mormon.(For example, I know exactly what she meant by "chastity," and I was harmed by Mormon sexual mores when I was young. It was painful to relive so many of the biases that I've spent years unpacking (homophobia, mysogyny, transphobia, engagement in or normalization of grooming, etc.). And it was painful cringing at shared historical experiences (polygamy that is clearly not consensual polyamory) that are so often contained (a la subversion and containment theory) by modern Mormons.
i'm so sorry you had to deal with that! i'm learning of many other books in this genre from Mormon families (some connected to this family) so it seems i have more reviews in the future
I.... actually read this book as a young girl. I think I was 11 or so? MY grandmother gave a copy to my mother on her 11th birthday and when my mom left, she left it in her parents' house. We were Mormon. To be fair, my mother found out my grandmother was letting me read it and told me to give it back to my grandmother. Then when she was going through her mother's things after she died, she threw the book in the trash.
On the historical point of grandpa: as is often said, an explanation is not the same as an excuse. And if we do not condemn the past, we will perpetuate it in our future.
I love how these old "how to perform femininity" type guides want to pretend this is all natural but then also like... you're instructed to do literal voice training??? amazing.
"How to naturally fake all of the natural feminine behaviors that don’t come naturally to most women because reasons that‘s why just do as you’re told.“
I definitely absorbed this kind of advice when I was younger. I thought if I presented myself as helpless, fluttered my lashes, and pouted in a "feminine" way, then I could get the things I wanted. While this "helpless act" does sometimes work in low-stakes environments, like getting a discount from a waiter or something like that, I've found the complete opposite effect in most other situations. For example, a pushy salesman would see that behaviour as weakness and would try to pressure me into buying something I don't want. Or a taxi driver will drive around in circles just to run up the meter because he thinks I will be too silly to notice and even if I do, too timid to argue. Men who want to control and abuse someone in a relationship will see that behaviour and WILL exploit it. In conclusion: for most men (and indeed most women), acting helpless doesn't trigger the need to protect you. It just makes you an easy target for the people who want to exploit you. And trust me, no matter how cute and "feminine" you act, they won't feel bad about doing it. Sorry, Momma Maureen, but that's not power. It's just a recipe to get exploited.
I used to feel sad that I never seemed good enough for Mormon men. Now, I count myself lucky that I avoided so many bullets. I did still marry a Mormon guy (we have both left now), but he wasn't like almost anyone else. He was silly, fun, musical and gentle. Now that we have left he is still all those things, but he's a healthier and happier version of himself. And we practice ethical non-monogamy...which I never thought would be our thing!
I am fascinated by this because I grew up Mormon and was friends with a family who was related to the author of another similar book, Fascinating Womanhood. It was published in 1963 and from what you’ve described here it’s nearly identical to The Secret Power of Femininity. So in addition to being horrible and sexist and abusive, if might also be plagiarized.
I am now imagining armor waving in the breeze, it is a very strange image. Also I like women who can pick me up, my masculinity is not so fragile that I can't be the horrible little goblin man to a powerful queen.
hope this doesn't come off weird but that shade of lipstick looks great on you! side note: i physically gagged at how many times 'childlike' was mentioned in the context of 'things men find attractive'- just goes to show how predatory so many of our past and present beauty standards are because in what world is a woman having childlike qualities seen as attractive? oh yeah, this one.
Dude really felt comfortable putting in a published book that he was attracted to children (or, if we take the text at face value, women who look, dress, and behave as much like children as possible). While I don't think most men had those preferences at the time, it probably says something about mid-century American culture that he said some serious pedo shit and expected no one would call him gross for it. Finally, someone did!
@@larissabrglum3856 hard agree. it's such a gross feeling when you realize that people likely didn't bat an eye at these kind of statements at the time. it's great to see that a significant number of men don't prescribe to this pedo beauty standard anymore and that more people are ready to call attention to ones that do when needed. we still have much progress to make to make though, imo.
Another title for your consideration: How to Win a Narcissist with Fawning and Deception. Also, talk business to me, mommy! I’m might be a bit too much to bench press… 😘
I haven't watched this yet, but I do not appreciate it when I hear labels like "people who menstrate", rather than "women". I am 64 and still a woman, ĺol. No phobias sponsored this çomment,
@@lisamcdonald2877 the only place I've seen anyone say "people who menstruate" is in discussions of menstruation. If you replace it with "women," that doesn't work. Plenty of women don't menstruate: post menopausal women, women who've had hysterectomies, trans women, and others. So those contexts are being specific and more accurate. I've never seen anyone say "people who menstruate" unless it was contextually relevant. And what does that even have to do with my video?
@@lisamcdonald2877 people who menstruate is not supposed to be a synonym for women. People who menstruate includes some people who aren't women (some trans men, for example) and doesn't apply to some women (menopausal women, for example). It's a useful phrase if you want to talk about periods and related sanitary or healthcare needs. It is not intended to replace women as a term except where it's a more accurate description of the people you're talking about
The only thing coming to mind for the whole "you mist polish his armor and make sure his flag's waving" bit was that the author just found a collection of peen-related euphemisms lol. Great analysis, Savy.
I am a non Mormon who lives in Utah and I can tell you this is basically what is taught to all Mormon women even to this day. The amount of girls I met in high school that literally said they were going to college for their MRS degree was so disappointing. I've known too many women who are now going through a faith crisis and divorces who are so angry at the fact that they fell for these lines. It is actually really depressing.
I can’t wait for part 2! I have to lower my voice two octaves when I talk to my Google home. A child-like voice might get me a man, but it won’t turn on my lights.
You can absolutely bench press me! 😆 Strength in a woman is *super* attractive - idk what Maureen is on about that. And if a man condescended to me like the ways she suggests he should I'll also get dry AF. I laughed SOOO much during this - it truly is a female pickup artist book for getting married to a toxically masculine husband. Do these pickup artist authors not understand how to actually enjoy spending time with other people??
I grew up LDS Mormon and everyone was part of some MLM. AMWAY , Fuller Brush, Tupperware, Avon...ect. I was told to dumb down to get a man. You don't want to be to smart. The MLM mentality lead to much heartache for me. I am so glad shows like yours exsist to prevent others from being abused. Keep up the good work.
Ugh the dumbing yourself down really infuriates me. If men feel intimidated by intelligence, maybe they’re dumb and they should feel that way. Why should you ever have to make yourself change, bring yourself down, insult yourself, to placate someone else? That’s ridiculous for everyone of every gender. No one should be told to do that. No one should have to.
From an entertainment standpoint, this book is amazing. For someone taking it seriously… YIKES. All the red flags. Also, the part about what women should wear (colors, soft fabrics) puts LLR in an even more sinister light…
😂 😂 😂 I died laughing when you were reading the part about pastel colors, and shiny hair, and feminine footwear. I wear a size 11.5 and I have wide feet. Mens cowboy boots it is. I'm also 5'10, built like a linebacker, and I have curly hair. I'm also country as hell, and LOUD. This woman would hate me. 😂 😂 😂
It is so interesting to me how these books, whilst teaching women how to appeal to men because you know, women are weak and need men to protect and guide them... also show how low an opinion the author has of men.
I don't think I've ever been endearing or enticing enough to have this kind of feminine power. Oh, well. Guess I'll have to settle for being a human being instead. Thankfully, I stayed in school, so I'm the primary breadwinner in my relationship. And fortunately, my lady dollars still buy the same things as man dollars.
It was actually wild to learn that Butcher Brown (the unliscenced plastic surgeon known for illegal and sometimes flawed gender affirming surgeries) was related to the creator of Lularoe
Why is half of this book a long-ass third grade word problem Maurine pulled out of her birthing hips based on … no statistics whatsoever to find a man?? Bruh
That’s it. I’m forever calling my bf a rough elephant 😂 good grief. The longer the video continues the more thankful I am being in the time I am in now.
Savy you are a QUEEN I’ve been feeling really relapsey about my ED (esp bc I’m disabled and can’t workout right now) and it’s so true that everyone likes different bodies and that it’s important we just be ourselves and love our bodies as they are!! You always always have such a good perspective which is why I continue to watch your channel after all this time!
I feel like this book could be fairly neatly summed up by that horrible catch phrase "Chase a man until he catches you". For which I have never been OK with, or good at. Also, what a hell of a lot of Mormon culture and history that shouldn't be celebrated... it shouldn't be erased either, but it sure as hell shouldn't be celebrated.
I had a shit week, and watching this video with a beer really made life a bit easier to live. Please keep making videos, and know that I am so happy that you’re feeling really good about yourself and received the care you’ve been wanting and deserve. You deserve the world and more 💕
Do I keep breaking out in a cold sweat and shuddering because I'm sick and just got out of the shower when it's 13 degrees out and I live in an old drafty house? Or is it because this book makes me want to break my glasses in frustration?
Miltown has a WILD history. I learned a lot about that drug in a psychopharmacology class I took in college. The ad campaign for it was wild too- it was prescribed so much that I think it was one of the most popular meds at the time. Definitely a good rabbit hole to get into- super interesting and unfortunate history. Super interesting video!
I know it has nothing to do with this video but I want to tell you that it is heartwarming to se and hear you being more comfortable and happy in your body and to see you experiment with different styles of clothing ❤️ By the way If I called any man I know “you big bear” or “you tiger” they would be confused AF and I called them “Walrus” or “dinosaur” they would be offended thinking I called them fat and/or stupid. So wierd.
In the 90s there was a book called The Rules (and some equally cringe subtitle), this gives me major Rules vibes. I volunteer to be bench pressed 😆🙋🏻♀️
!! John brown sounds like just another grifter! He did the “taboo” (at the time) surgeries because he knew those underserved people would pay him and take the risk. And he didn’t have to retake the tests. Keeping his big ol’ ego intact. Ugh. Horrible! That publication you’re looking for could be just a pamphlet?? Maybe that’s why it’s hard to find. What if it was included with that book when you bought it new? Idk!
Oh yeah my grandma was addicted to some combination of benzo and Valium. She was a mess and died when my mom was in her early 20s. That’s why I think mental health care is important!
I'm kinda old fashioned but with a twist. She'd roll over in her grave. I asked my husband to marry me. I even got down on one knee. Do I cook for him. That's a hard no!! He cooks for the family. Where I am weak he takes over and where he's weak I take over.
When I heard the 'half-girl' bit, I thought of Ranma 1/2. It's a manga with an anime adaptation about a boy pushed to be a man among men cursed to be a girl when splashed with cold water.
HOLY SHIT BEHIND THE BASTARDS DID AN EPISODE ON JOHN BROWN. It was a fascinating story and honestly heartbreaking for the women involved, but if you want to know more, there's a two part podcast episode about it
There are some much more recent books called The Rules and The New Rules (for the digital generation) if you want to read what more modern pick up artist crap for women looks like. Also...Is that bit about the flag and armour polishing about handjobs? Cause it really sounds like it's about giving his helmet a polish so his flagpole stands to attention
Me and my non binary and/or intersex siblings sitting here like ….. “question for the author - what about people who are….oh? Oh, right well what about how gender is ju…. Oh, oh okay…. SO Is the exit down this corridor or..?” 🙄🤣
I'm actually working out to lose weight and get back into running shape, so I volunteer to be bench-pressed at your 30th birthday party 🙋♀️ That's the only positive to come out of this dumpster fire of a book.
I think I have heard about the John Brown leg amputation case in true crime somewhere. Either that or someone else killed someone doing an amputation because the patient wanted it, not because it was otherwise medically necessary.
This woman reminds me of my parents when they tell me to "stop looking so depressed" when 1) I'm usually just not smiling in these situations and 2) I am literally on a waiting list to get a therapist for depression. It's fucked up and it's really dismissive and mean, whether intentionally or not. If I am not happy, why should I be forced to fake it and smile? If me being sad makes them sad they should try to help me not be sad anymore instead of trying to make me fool them into thinking I'm not sad. Shoving down negative emotions only makes them pile up and become worse. Telling someone to just smile and stop being sad is not helpful, it's condescending and mean.
I'm so glad you were able to get that book, I can't wait for part 2 and I really hope you'll find a way to get your hands on that surgeon's book! Another great video, Savy!
"How is that not in a true crime dokumentary?" - I am fairly certain I HAVE seen a true crime video about this! I think there is a video by Stephanie Harlowe that at least mentiones this case! O.o Also yes, benchpress me Savy! ^^
the comment about "ideal women" being "free from guilt over the way they have treated people" is so insane because you just KNOW this is a response to the fact that she's been horrible and nasty to people and is deciding not to burden herself with guilt over it lollll
There's a lot to comment on with this this book, but one part that really annoys me is how she tells women to pretend to be interested in a man's hobbies instead of trying to find someone who has similar interests. In my freshman year of college, I tried so hard to like football because that's what guys are into and I was a thirsty ho. Yeah I got guys but never any meaningful relationships. Fast forward 10 years and my partner and I have the strongest friendship and relationship that I could ever imagine. We don't have all the same interests, but we really bonded in the early years of our relationship over our mutual love of video games and music. Actual good guys like my fiancé want someone who's a partner, and everyone deserves a partner, not some weird father-daughter power dynamic that she describes in this abomination of a book.
I think I have similar hair type to savy and I’m realllllllyyyy starting to want to shave the sides. The urge to do so increases every time I see savy which is every weekday
People who want to be feminine should be feminine. People who want to be masculine should be masculine. People who want to be neither should be neither. People who want to be a blend of both should be a blend of both. I'm a masculine man. I enjoy it, but if given the chance, and it was an instant thing, I'd be 100 percent feminine, permanently. The authors of this book that is referred to in the video harken back to a time that is never to be again. The Bible is never again going to be seen as capital T Truth. Good. Liberty must prevail, and that entails people being whoever the hell they want to be in this regard. The author of this book length tract on femininity is equally as ugly philosophically as red pill manosphere bullshit. Whether you wish to be feminine, masculine, a mix of both or neither, just be it. Go ahead and be it. I'll fight the bastards who say it's wrong. Savy, you're one of my new favorite content creators
