Cocaine deaths are on the rise - both around the country, and here in Wisconsin. Lauren Linder spoke with one man who kicked the habit years ago, and he has tips for others who want to follow in his footsteps.
As an alcoholic and drug abuser I can absolutely admit that alcohol is the gateway, you have one to many drinks and suddenly a bag of white sounds like the idea of a lifetime. Drink only on special occasions and surround yourself with people who care for you. Don't let substances destroy your life like it did mine. Anybody who suffers through similar things, I believe in you. You can do this!
Is worst when we now cocaine is a big shit but you do it on weekend for example. I try to not think about it but the inner voice man, and we or I trick myself to do it. Sometimes I just want to go to the mountains and live there because the easy access where we live. In 15 minutes I have it and this is the major problem when we are craving... Other problem is when we can´t do it just a little anymore.
Yep.coke is really one of the worst drugs you can take..i m talking from experience...it destroys everything, it destroys your Your LiFE .lucky im out of that world now.
I spent 8 long years smoking crack. I’m 2 1/2 years sober now and often find myself angry or depressed at how slow and boring my life can be at times now but when I really think hard, I realize I’m blessed and better off now.
8 years on coke and turned too mostly smoking crack for the last 2 years. I don't know how i stopped but one day I just did, I was at rock bottom and I just had a realisation that my life would be past saving if I didn't stop right then. I'm 4 years clean now and the damage I've done to my brain is not repairable but I'm in a much better place. Hope it all works out for you man just never, ever go back not even once
I'm jealous of your sobriety date man so feel blessed and empowered at your date and as low and boring g as it gmcan be at least your sober and not killl8ng your self like all the users out there still using
Did it for 2 years 8 months after a break up. I am 35. One day dealer told me how much he hates his job and ruining peoples lives. I went on a 3 day bender had first panic attack though I was dying. Scared shit out me! That day I stopped cold turkey, said in prayers wouldnt touch it again, ever. 8 years later clean wouldn't even dream of being near anyone that does it. Its vile. Since I stopped my career has flown, had a gf for 7 years solid, spend time with my family, enjoy the basics of life, nature. How to do it is go 1 week without it, then do another week, then get to 1 month. After that 1st month you feel better and better, stronger, clear thinking.
me too... i got clean for 96 days and hung around the wrong person and have a bad problem again. i dont know anyone who does as much as me. im only 20 almost 21 and have done so much of that bullshit. stay strong WE WILL WIN. trust in our god our savior brotha.🙏🏽
@@testifyxl2978 that’s the big thing who you surround yourself with, your at the prime age people do it but if you have a problem you can’t dabble just cut all ties with people who do it may be lonely but only way
can relate, I’m stuck in this cycle of addiction I’m 20 and just beginning my life but I feel as if my life is over already, I’m trying to find a purpose but each day I feel lonelier, I have no friends, I have a couple family members that I can call for ‘support’ but I’ve done so much damage already I don’t want to seek the support from them anymore because I feel a burden, I have multiple court cases weighing over me, dragging me down, I’ve lost everything due to cocaine and only have a little left, I’m trying to find a purpose to keep myself alive, if my parents were dead I would be too, I’m part of the fellowship, some great people and stories and trying to stay part of it while relapsing, anyway if anyone is reading this far I thank you.
Bro I relate to everything you said, im 21 and I was addicted for about 2 years to opiods and maybe like 4 months to coke. I felt exactly how you described how you feel. Pretty much you feel hopeless. I know how bad that shit can feel, I truly do. I lost everything too, jobs, relationships, my car, pushed away everyone and everything, got legal problems still yet to be resolved. You're probably not going to want my answer but I got to the point where I literally had absolutely nothing going for me and was soon to be homeless if I continued. I tried so hard for so long for some control, looking for some meaning, looking for a reason to stop. But while you're using your perspective of what this means is so skewed you don't even know it trust me bro. Feelings can feel very real especially in addiction but for me when I got sober I realized how irrational, selfish, and ignorant my way of thinking was. I hope you go to rehab for me that was life saving, it first showed me being sober is possible which I already knew but couldn't imagine while using, It gave me a stretch of time to truly examine rationally what I truly want, what I truly feel about things and not just act on emotions. It showed me having hope is possible again. I know you probably won't go, its the last thing an addict wants but if you are willing to do anything to stop the torment you led yourself to you'll give up trying to figure it out yourself and put yourself in better hands. If you think about it it's only your own faulty thinking that led you to this point. So why would you use even faultier skewed thinking you have now to try to guide yourself. Im telling you bro just find the courage to do it stop the cycle of defeat, of pity, of powerlessness.
Hey bro I'm 26 spent from 14 to 21 taking meth, cocaine and benzos. I went to prison for robbery when I was 22 it was a case from I was 20. Being on drugs I was arrested multiple times for armed robbery using a knife. I ended up doing 2 years inside, but from the age of 14 to 24 I didn't have a life cause I was an addict and I ran about with older addicts and criminals... Never give up bro it's never too late to change. When I got out of prison i had a 2 year rship that was amazing but she ended it I ended up getting back on coke and I've been battling the addiction on and off for a few months but I'll never stop fighting and neither do you bro always keep going no matter how hard it is. You'll get there mate
I’m 34 next month been doing cocaine a few times a week since I was 17. Iv lost the love of my life and numerous jobs and spent silly amounts of money. I’m 1 week clean now I’m determined to stay this way as I can’t carry on as I was before. Hope anyone else in my position finds the strength to turn their lives around. I’m not sure if it’s too late now and the damage has been done but I need to try going sober before it’s too late and I wasted my whole life
It starts with a line or 2 on the weekends. Then you start buying your own sacks. Then once you drink you automatically crave it. Then you start doing some during the weekdays. Then you catch yourself doing it everyday. I know many people that just tried it a couple of times and are good but the majority end up down this path and it’s the worst
That’s exactly how it happens, now I’m doing just enough everyday or at night. I’ll find myself stretching out whatever I got till I get back to my dealer. Once I get around the 18-24 hour mark without it, I’m tired asf and muscles ache a little bit. Stretching all the time and constantly drinking water or Gatorade to fill the space. Till I get that next bump in my system. Sitting in my car now about to start a new bag.. I’ll stop, but not right now.
@@peterinfante6187 yes, I need to just do one day at a time. there's many better things to do than drinking and getting high. Plus I start looking better, feel better, more energy.
I have a problem. Every time I have a beer, I start thinking about cocaine, and I can't stop thinking about buying a gram. When I tried it for the first time, I never imagined that I was going to be conditioned for the rest of my life like I am. I wish people would acknowledge this 'sickness' and avoid it.
This might sound crazy but research it psilocybin treatment.. aka mushrooms that arnt a party drug I was the same I came out a 14yr relationship with a women I had two kids to.. I moved in with a girl I new and her flat mate it was a big fancy house I had the loft to myself.. the girl worked in the music industry was privately educated came from a well off family.. anyway before I new it me and her clicked she was an attractive girl but she liked cocaine so I started taking cocaine I never used to like it but the contracts she had this coke was high purity and 🙄 yeah it makes your libido go through the roof then lockdown happened all wee done was take coke and have crazy sex .. but fast forward a few years it wasn't fun anymore I was used to being a dad my sons were 11 and 9 when I left my ex .. she moved stopped me from seeing the kids found out I was with this younger popular girl and she made life a nightmare.. so I took coke and was drinking like a fish .. but enough was enough I ended up taking mushrooms had this amazing experience asked plz 🙏 help me .. after the trip I didn't want cocaine I didn't want alcohol it was like my brain was rewired my anxiety had gone .. but Google it I was amazed then found out there has been studies done and its scientifically proven.. but honestly I was the same after a few beers wee would just look at each other get coke .. wee would buy a half oz 14g and it was coke that people would take and get paranoid 😮 that stuff is to strong but me and her used to have a plate of it out 3 to 4 times a week .. call it a Colombian coffee wake up have a line then roll around tolerance ended up through the roof.. but trust me psilocybin helped stop me from wanting it .. go research it and it helped me big time it got me out a bad addiction plus the money 💰 😮🫣 yeah I don't even want to think about that .. but it does fk your head up life's so much better without out ... hope you manage to stop the habit it can be done trust me ❤
Alcohol opens the door for relapses. Lowers one’s inhibitions and before you know it you’re hitting the ATM and on your way to cop once again. It’s a horrific cycle. I wish you the best in maintaining sobriety.
Bro tell me about it it sucks. I miss the days when I was 16 to 22 and I only drank with the boys now I cant sip a beer without calling the dealer for a gram 😂
Had an addiction before covid hit, I would slam an 8 ball in two days. I stopped because I starting having sharp pains in my heart. I had a 1 year old daughter. Just have to want better for yourself....
I started with alcohol. I did them all. Sober for over 10 years. But had a few slips in the beginning. But I kept trying until I got it. I'm lucky to be alive
@@Ben-ks5bm done it twice since the hospital, but that’s twice in month. It was every day! So it’s progress. It’s not easy mate not going to lie. When you come off it you’re constantly on a downer wanting to do it again.
“It gave me the ability to do more than I could without it” - this hits home so deep and it is the most dangerous trait. I’ve done in 2 weeks what I was postponing for 2 years since my mothers death. Grief is no more, sadness is no more but with them other feelings are gone too. I feel how I lose myself bit by bit.
The thing with me Is how can a drug that depresses the crap out of u b so freaking good, cause that’s what it did to me, felt euforic 4 a min or two but then the drepression and the anxiety came, it’s very sad
Lost my sister back in October 2018 to cancer. My dumbass-self though getting some coke would make me feel better.. I’m a fucking fool. Been doing coke everyday/every other day since.. blew through my savings. Sold priceless shit I’ll never see again. Fucking sucks. Y’all have a good day.
@@73THUNDERDOME73 glad to hear, appreciate the reply. Do you have any systematic steps to get off it? For example to stop smoking weed breaking away from the culture of it will change your perspectives on it. Like if you don't pull a bong cos the lung pain isn't worth the high anymore then you'll detach yourself from it
@@josephhayward3763yeah man for me right before I quit I found a few things that peaked my interest. -I got a gym membership -downloaded a new video game -And started a show I hadn’t watched before(the office) When I officially decided to stop. I blocked the couple people I bought my stuff from. And deleted their number, basically severed all contact ability on both sides. Then I settled in for about 4 days of basically being in a depressive state; just dealing with the withdrawal feelings. I just watched the office and laid around. Once I felt myself coming out of that and boredom started setting in, I began going to the gym late at night and played my game In the evenings before and after my workout. Fill my days with cleaning and bonding with my family and my dogs. I know this isn’t the best advice ..but I did end up using delta 8 and all the legal hemp variants of thc to catch a smol buzz while gaming. Before I knew it; it was 2 months out from when I did blow. So I started looking for a job. Then I stopped using the delta 8 etc and got that out of my system. Got my job and never looked back. It was hard, I won’t lie. But I’m so thankful I made that hard choice.
What’s terrifying is how seamlessly it all transitions from you being a recreational user and something fun you do every now and then (ie the textbook weekend warrior) to becoming someone who must keep doing it over and over and over to the point of it turning into a necessity. By that point, it’s not about having fun anymore, but avoiding sobriety, avoiding the damage caused by the drug use (ie strained relationships, dwindling funds, losing jobs), leading to MORE drug use to not face the horror that you yourself, the user, are responsible for. Better to not open that can of worms, only to realize that you’ve made a grave mistake and now must work furiously to undo all the harm, so yes, don’t give into the world of drugs. It’s a big, massive lie. All of it.
For God in heaven sake don't? It will ruin your timely walk on this earth my brother. People will offer it to you for free to get you hooked, run away from them? They are not your friends.
@ Jorge Loya - That is a very smart way to go about life. It's best to learn from the examples of people who have already traveled down these roads in life, and if we see that they come to a dead end we can choose not to go down that route instead of wasting years of our lives finding out for ourselves.
I spend all my money available when I do crack. then I stop for a couple weeks try get some money saved and it lulls me back 😞 it's something unfit for humans 😞
never do coke. try it once and realize it's about as fun as jumping off a cliff without realizing you're jumping off a cliff. anybody have any details on this guy? like, how long he took it for? anyway, if you do coke, quit, eat fruits and vegetables, improve your relationships, and eclxercise every day
I think I’m one of the “lucky ones” who did it many times over the span of several years and never got hooked. I’ve read that it sometimes comes down to how one is physiologically composed (ie some people have it in them to have a sweet tooth for certain drugs, others don’t) It wasn’t until I tried pure cocaine and after just two bumps felt like my heart was going to punch it’s way out of my chest that it hit me that I shouldn’t touch this sh1t anymore - ever - even on a recreational level like I used to do it (I’ve been clean of that trash for 6-7 years now) I have a very good friend though who wasn’t so fortunate, who’s currently in detox for the next couple of months because he grew hopelessly dependent on the stuff. I too don’t recommend this filth. Not worth it at all.
Just Remember "EVERYONE IN THIS COMMENT SECTION IS LOVED BY SOMEONE!" Your still here brothers and sisters im not telling you to seek a higher power but you here means a light above is still shining looking out for ya! I'm glad you all exist show the world who you are!
First tried when I was 16 just for partying I often find myself only being able to stay away from it for week and a half max now at 25. 😢I only seek help, like this video, when I’m high on the drug.
It’s fucked how they keep wanting to talk about cocaine even though he says alcohol was the most addictive for him, I assume it’s cause it’s socially acceptable
Or maybe because you can tan £800 worth of coke in 2 days and only spend £25 on alcohol coke ruins you financially and when you start selling to make a way out and you sniff all your product it’s a different ball game because now you have drug debts you can’t clear you can’t get an alcohol debt that’s that serious
The interview was badly conducted, its like she has a script in her head and when he replies slightly differently she loses the flow. She needs to practice a bit more and she will do fine!
@@scoo637 Addiction NEVER goes away. Once it sinks its teeth into you, it become a matter of managing it. And that requires a tremendous amount of work at all times. Addicts relapse at a rate of about 80%. So, the odds are not in your favor. There is no magic bullet. Get & stay clean/sober or die. It’s really that simple.
me too. 😔. I spent so much money on drugs I need go to AA NA although you have to take addiction seriously each day seriously about stopping. But I'm disgusted with myself. 😔
brother i as well im struggling i drink and do cocaine so much money and time you cant get back and you realize it. on the road to being sober and i wish the best for you as well. 🤞🏻
I been battling cocaine and alcohol for years I been sober for this long I'm happier and mind is clearer I wish I never tried yayo in the first place Anyone who is thinking about trying DONT DONT PLEASE
I wasted so much money on that shit for a quick high, I was addicted to vodka and that led to a cocaine addiction. I’ve been clean and sober for 6 months now and life couldn’t be better. This guy hit the nail on the head, I could continue to drink and not pass out after doing a few lines but I wrecked friendships and my relationship with my family. I’m grateful that I’m doing well now, for AA, for my sponsor and I have restored my relationship with my family and friends!
It’s okay , coke is not a problem unless you want to die 💯 tell yourself that every time you do it because you will do it soon ... I proMise you that your drug demons will eventually subside .. but if your energy isn’t positive then your better off not being alive in the first place ..
@@highliferinaldi5095 your so wrong man Better off not being alive in the first place? Anyone can change including there attitude. Your messed up for saying that
@@kylejarvis2517 I said if your energy isn’t positive then your better off not being alive... which means create positivity in your life... I shouldn’t even have to explain what I meant tho .. get rid of your victim mentality & take charge of ur own life .. I’m 5 months clean & feel better then ever ... I can admit that I was better off not alive when all I cared about was negativity and misery
All I can see on the comments is 20/21 year olds commenting saying “this helped me so much” but the people that really need this is people that’s been hooked from 18,19 to 30/40 because it fuels confidence
If the 20/21 years don’t get the help now, they’ll be just like you, 30/40 years old and still addicted. Though it’s never too late for help with the older people.
I lost my whole family. Lost all my friends lost all my money because of alchohol and cocaine combination. Im trying to find clarity and its not easy. 😢
Haven’t done coke in months but now I’m craving it hard. But I know if I do it I will feel like shit. But I still want it. Faak it’s scary and stupid. And I’m a n active alcoholic. Why do I want this stuff so bad? Guess it’s my addition personality
It certainly sounds like you have addictive personality..maybe you need kinda hobby. Or start doing sports to divert your attention elsewhere..good luck to you buddy..
No offense this interviewer really drains the value from the video. Sheesh she needs to go!!! Big respect to the gentleman in this video for sharing honestly. Incredible wisdom and speaking the truth. Thank you.
Aug 9 2008 I quit until last week and the first time after having quit for so long I spent 750$ on crack the first night and 400 the next. This weekend I fought it off successfully but I have urges again tonight. The paranoia came back immediately before you know it I was locked up in my own bathroom thinking the cops were digging through the walls to get me. I am so better off without it why do I keep thinking about it?
that's a lot of money to spend and have nothing to show for it. I do the same thing if I start drinking alcohol I once spent $800 in 1 night hanging out with a girl and buying to share with her. Stupid.
The Problem is partially those who make money from selling Cocaine. These people can ask how much they want and the addicts will meet their requirement because they are so needy. The sellers will ask more and more and the needy people will get it come what may. It is indeed extremely difficult to wean yourself off it. Cynthia Allen-McLaglen.
I did bro. And honestly best decision of my life. I was a hardcore addict for 2 years. Getting clean has been the best decision of my life. If you need motivation just look up how coke can fuck up your nose bro🖤 all love and hopefully you get clean. Believe me your family will be hurt at first but after time they’ll understand.
Do it privately and just don't tell em if they need to know tell em your go8ng on a 2 week vacation with friends to somewhere in a cabin and you ll come back healthier look8ng and and feeling and they won't find out a thing unless you want to be honest with them and let one of them in on your dirty little secret and have help and support from one of them to at least have them help you out with a ride get to and from detox. Trust me your parents will appreciate the truth better and would love to help you help your self because they love you
Hah I caught that too approaching the end of the vid. The demon remains and lays dormant, waiting to pounce and make an opportune return. Addiction is so fvcking tragically ruthless. Takes an enormous amount of will power to push through and not only get clean, but STAY clean.
Gotta stop the triggers: alcohol and friends. Also replace the habits with other habits. Weed edibles are a better alternative. Keep challenging yourself to switch the habits into slightly healthier alternatives. Or just stay on the level you are comfortable with.
I still struggle with cocaine. I was 6 months clean then all of the sudden boom again. Until now I have done it 3 weekends straight Saturday and Sunday and as I’m writing this I’m kinda high on cocaine. Right now it feels like I need one more line. And as everyone know the party stops when there’s nothing left on the bag
I've tried Coke a couple times and it feels good don't get me wrong, but it doesn't really live up to the hype for me and I don't like the anxiety, I can see how people get addicted to it tho. However to me at least it does not even COMPARE to the cravings and the euphoria alcohol provides me. It's not even close. And alcohol is so cheap and easy to come by whereas good clean Coke takes some work to find and it's not nearly gratifying enough to be worth the price.
@@riordanhanan3203 not like acid or molly euphoria that's for sure. That shit feels so good if the trip is going well that you can cream your pants right then and there
@@devinmcwhorter8717 I've done the 3 day binges on night shift, but I never did end up using coke to keep drinking, it has always been concurrent with it
Coke is never clean dude , cocaine contains sulfuric acid gasoline drano and cement in its highest potency . Get addicted and see how it will ruin your brain as a n addict myself 107 days sober i can assure you cocaine will ruin your fucking life if you let it . Take care people
What a shame that the question that this articulate man raised - «understanding me » , what was it that needed understanding? - was not dealt with by the interviewer.... who, very ironically, seemed to be interested in results, not causes
He said that he required a higher level of understanding, and this is something you’ll never understand if you weren’t an addict, or at least someone who’s dealing with them for years ...
My addiction started innocently enough-just a weekend thing, a party drug with friends. But soon, I was buying it for myself, using it alone. I stopped going out, not because I didn’t want to party, but because I didn’t want to share. Slowly, I began neglecting everything that mattered-my relationships, my responsibilities, my life. When my cousin passed away, instead of facing the grief, I drowned in cocaine. I spiraled out of control, and eventually and understandably, my girl dumped me. What followed was a two-year bender that consumed everything-my time, my money, my friendships. I was stuck in a cycle of destruction, unaware of how much I was losing with each passing day. Then one morning, I woke up and realized: two years of my life were gone, spent chasing a high that gave me nothing but emptiness in return. The damage was done. But today, I stand here, one year clean-rebuilding, healing, and finally learning how to live again.
My buddy is addicted bad, he lost his girlfriend he can’t keep a job cause he stays up til 6-7 am and sleeps all day, he steals from him mom trades her medicines for coke, I didn’t notice anything was wrong until he wanted to play poker every day instead of once a week, turns out he needed the money to keep up his addiction he has a 11 month year old and CPS is already involved. My life is completely different from this I’ve only done coke once for my 30th birthday and vow to never do it Again I just don’t know how to help my friend. I have a family and have to worry about them first but I feel bad for my friend.
Your friend sounds like me to be honest. With coke addiction comes lying, deceit and hurt to everyone around you. The addiction just takes over and you don’t even realise how bad you are. Does your friend know he has a problem? If he doesn’t then there would be very little you can do to help him until he realises. I would recommend to look at your local Cocaine Anonymous. It’s a great first step To take
It's interesting. I've never experimented with any drugs and rarely drink. I do wonder what it's like, but I really think that I would find it far too easy to get in to and far too hard to get out of. I remember a line from Tasha Yar in Star Trek. It was something like "you stop taking drugs to feel good and start having to take them to stop from feeling bad"
@@gilgamesh7055 it really wasn't for me lack of euphoria infact somewhat anxious however it worked for resetting your drunk level better stimulants out there I suppose after yrs of amphetamine sulphate use cocaine don't cut it sometimes there was euphoria usually on first or 2nd dose after that feels bad man
True that statement worst part is it doesn't stop ya feeling bad but rather raises to baseline and extending the comedown its only euphoric on 1st or 2nd dose if taken sparingly same for alot of stimulants as your are getting high on your own brain chemicals
Doin 8 balls everyday started my senior year in high school when I finally was considered “popular” which feels great at that time but is really meaningless I stopped for 4 years and recently relapsed. I didn’t even really realize why in the beginning of my relapse until recently in these past couple weeks it’s jus so I could just feel nothing. And be comfortable. I’m going to bounce back from it, I didn’t wanna deal and address with myself that I’m jus running away from problems I don’t wanna deal with it. Crazy thing is back when I started I would always buy a ball and want to do it with people I was with. Now just by myself. I gotta take a step back and really realize why. The hardest part is the sudden urges for me honestly. Pretty disappointed in myself aswell that I relapsed. I’m going to have to stop. Or I’m going keep deluding myself thinking it’s fine and that’s the worst position to be in. I will stop.
People get addicted bc of the euphoria and the escape from reality. It really really makes you feel good better than talking out your issues no one can resolve.
I have lost count of the amount of times that I’ve been in my bed praying begging god to help me quit . Counting backwards from 1,000 singing lullabies in my head. Pimple popping for hours neck hurting trying to fall asleep but my mind won’t stop thinking about how bad I feel how anxious, paranoid, ashamed, depressed. But not even hrs later I find myself using again. I’m confident that if the damn cocaine was not just sitting around in my environment as normal and consistent as your household pet walking around your house and you inevitably pet it. MAYBE JUST FREAKING MAYBE I WOULDNT RELAPSE SO FREQUENTLY. I’m an addict. I’m full of excuses and I’m weak I give in every time. I NEED TO KNOW IF IM JUST WEAK AND FULL OF EXCUSES OR IS IT NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP IF ITS RIGHT THERE DAY AND NIGHT. I know some people are thinking why don’t you take yourself out of that situation? Why don’t you change your environment? I can’t and I’ve tried speaking and explaining how hard it is for me to stay away from it and not touch it but I’m not being heard I think it’s a strategic tactic from the narcissist I love. I am 100% positive that I would not relapse so frequently and so much if that wasn’t in my house or in front of me every day there’s no way in hell I wouldnt spend all my money on it and go looking for it every day all day. But it’s literally there every day. It’s in my face every day and it’s free. It’s like a be set up for failure if I manage to finally get sober stay sober and stop being weak I would feel like the strongest person in the world. I would feel like nothing can stop being in this world because for me to stop doing it while it’s in my face every day all the time that takes a lot of self-discipline, but I’m just being told not to be nosy or not to look for it or touch stuff in the house.
I need advice/help. I make decent money, have a beautiful family, I handle my duties and am I reliable person to the people in my life. But I’ve been drinking 13 drinks a day on average for 10 years and mixing adi/blow most days for 6 years. I don’t know how to go without it anymore. I’ve lost control and am barely holding it together now.
All the comments who don't get it - listen to me. I did cocaine recreationally for 10 years. I did not even understand how someone would even want to do it so much. I thought it was impossible funny. One day I changed it from partying to "geting work done" or feeling powerful - I still passed my MBA. I make 250K a year and my entire life is slowly being destroyed. Oh and guess what - the cocaine feels needed, because being a money hungry Sales Executive I prioritize my ego over my health, family, soul. So I think taking a week off makes me a "bitch" and I am just being sad.... It is a slow burn man, for those saying I am 25 and did it alot - so was I - I am 29 now now. Started at 17. In fact I think its cool, Glamarous, I can afford it - how awsome right? one day it will change. If you not there yet run
Good for him...wish I was that strong but I've allowed my coke use to ruin most aspects of my life but still just can't stop despite wanting too...probably did soothe abuse I've done to myself but can only blame myself...hope maybe someone
Basically , as a time goes by, and u start building confor zone in that state of mind started by naive motives which u basicly don't find so joinfull as a first time or second, as particular purpose of usin it, start developing addiction to something what you start hating in deepest part of your heart. when u start realising that , one expensive "sport" is a pure devil and bullshit (current emotional booster) who brings u to unsleepless nights, depression, anxiety, loneliness and feeling being helpless and truly alone ,when all the fun start wanishin... fear talking about it or askin for help and realizing there's no one who u can truly talk to about it or trust, who will not judge u and use it against you more then u do, despising every meeting with a dealer, hating them and actually hating yourself for sending that message again. when purpose of usin become invisible, when u stop enjoy in it, when u know that one more unsleepless night is coming ,sitting alone ,hating yourself for checking a traces of leftovers ,smokin bunch of cigarettes,drinking beer, being pissed off for not having for a joint,or something for sleeping, knowing that in few hours there's a job waiting u for, or something serious waiting for u,and u feel that feeling and inner question how I gonna do it ,and u search for "temporary good known solution" getting it again and starting the loop knowing that u are going deeper in to machine, and knowing that the same thoughts of self critics'and pain will start over again...(but,I'll deal with it, tomorrow,maybe day after, maybe next morning,hahha) when u hit that feeling of disappointing yourself with having no answer for finding a way out and admitting u took a dance with a 😈 who's unfortunately already leading a dance, depression and darkness starts consuming you... I never enjoy in it. maybe first few minutes, afterwards was starting being nervous, and as I was getting more nervous, high as Fuck,with some retard theory was using more in hope will put me back on normal ride, not mentioning that I'm working in a kitchen of a good restaurant as a cheff, doing a shifts of 14 hours per day. those shifts started my loop. almost always doin it alone,in a secret, from purpose keeping up concentration and energy for high level of working hours, till realization that u are chasing your tail, spending money for buying it again so u can work and repeat the same over and over.... cutting a roots, reason why u started, finding preocupation, getting isolated from toxic environment, being ready for couple weeks of craziness, dark thoughts, paranoiac attacks, insomnias, is crucial. bitting a bullet of true that no one fucked us up as we did it,and no one can helps us out except us by realizing that we give opportunity to the supstance to drive us, is crucial. patience, get away from toxic environment and people, preocupation, another source of dopamin and seratonina, and talk with someone who will not use it against u, more important honest conversation with ourselves.("ass I leaving this comment, selfishly reminding my self on the bettle I fight) we put ourselves in the cage,only we can find a way out. build another confor zone, remind yourself who you were and who u wanted to be,before u get a wrong street on that foggy night. we don't have better friend or bigger enemy then ourselves. being aware and accepting that on the right way is a biggest step, everything else is excuse of approving a mistake, or searching for excuses... everything is a chemistry another natural source of seratonin,preocupation, healthy environment and self-awarnes. good luck to all fighters. don't give up,and don't forget who u are, and don't stop believing!
till the moment your own body can't handle the apstnencia and crises... like the Rolling Stones .. more posobilities of OD cause from sudden cutting abused supstance, then continuing it. it's called , depending on your own long use medications. most likely,you will get fucked up cutting it suddenly then continue usin it with strategy and discipline. understand your self,your body, and your mindset... on the end,your are the master. or just master of disaster. roots and purpose are important
I STRONGLY recommend looking up a NA/AA meeting close to you. Find a sponsor and work the STEPS. When you hear others sharing their stories, especially from those that have many years of clean time, it is such an inspiration.
The crazy thing is that I wasn't looking up anything about Dane county or WI. And I happened to click on this. Shout out WI. AA does work. But not for me. They have a problem with cannabis. And that doesn't work for them. So whatever. I'll become a stoner dry drunk if I have to. No one can tell me I can't smoke a fucking plant. Are you aloud to smoke cigs in AA? Yes I see it. People need to realize that it's a medicine and telling people not to do it is not going to help anything
I do both, yayo and beer but I haven't gotten to the point where I need to do it everyday. I am to the point where if ima drink I have to make sure ima be able to get some yay or If I have some saved up. 2 grams lasts me like 4 months. I dont drink lften but when I do I abuse it.
