I am floored. As I began to watch this video, I went still and cold inside and just stood frozen, listening and watching your face. You have shared this for your own reason, it was a gift you gave to those of us that heard you. I hope you can feel the gift we give to you , the honor and caring, for telling this story. Every nine seconds.....this needs to be remembered. I received a piece of your live here and I thank you Van. You have always be self possessed, it's a trait I deeply admire.
Oh no. I went through some things when I was younger that I remember quite often when I am doing the most mundane of things and they put a knot in my throat many days. People sometimes remark that I act a certain way when I am in specific situations. I choose not to explain. I think you are a brave soul and I am proud of you for speaking about your experience. Regrettably I can say I understand wholeheartedly.
The saddest part is that I have heard stories like this, with the horrifying details like the cop's response, so many times. Generally speaking, men will never know what it feels like to be powerless like that, so they can't understand how much damage it does to you, how it changes you. It makes you fearful, paranoid, and it makes you second guess yourself and everything. As a woman, you have to go through life constantly worried that someone will try to hurt you. I have been there, too.
This is a very painful video to watch my friend. I care deeply for you, and the thought of someone hurting you infuriates me! Thank you for having the courage to talk about it on film. You can help SO many females that have also been hurt like this, just from them hearing they're not alone. I have also been assulted, and it's something that changed a part of me for the rest of my life. You're deep in my thoughts right now.
I'm so sorry Van that you went through this. Having said that I am glad that you went to the police and filed charges against him. You could possibly have saved someone's life by doing so. Thank you for sharing this story. You may empower someone else not to stand for this behavior.
thank you for sharing, for many reasons that I can not go into here. i'm sorry for the terrible response that you had at the police station-it's even more upsetting how little things have changed in that regard. the story about your dad reminds me of my dad, after I was in a terrible car wreck my mom called him and he asked how much damage had be done to the car.
Van !!! You have never told me this before.. I am so sorry for the pain you went thru and for feeling like between your dad and the police you had no support at all. You are such a deserving person and you have definitely had your share of shit dumped on you.. I totally love you and you know that.
Van.....I am so sorry that happened to you. I completely understand your feelings. I think sometimes the police and other authority figures have no clue how the questions they ask victims are offensive and the impact the implications the questions they ask may have on that person. NO ONE deserves that! I am glad you realized it was not your fault and you did nothing to deserve the abuse.
Wow...I'm so glad you stood up to him. But, so sorry you had to. It's amazing how even back in the 80's you got such an insulting response from that cop. I hope things are changing for the better... Thank you very much for sharing. You have an amazing strength of character!
2 girls lived there before me and he did say that moved away abruptly, but at the time I didn't think anything of it. I have often thought, did he do that to them too.
hi van, I'm so sorry you had to go through such a traumatizing time like that. you just never know what people has been through, ya know? and yes, you are right that I'm sure it has effected to who you are today. this was very brave of you to make this video. and thank you so much for sharing.
You stepping up and sharing this story with all of us is so much of a help. For more than you know this helps others. I too have been sexually abused but mine was by my father. I know for a fact this isnt something that is easy to talk about. I just wanted to say F**K O*F to that cop. HUGS xoxoox
I was 27, didn't have the bucks to move, so I went out and bought one of those chain locks that you can lock when you leave the house, with a key. So, he never said anything to me again, I suppose if he ever tried it after that, he just thought I was home and asleep or something. I saved the money and moved a few months after that. YUCKY people like that make me ill.
This is a terrible thing to hear. I'm sure I can't fully understand how horrible it must have been for you to experience such an attack. While you were telling your story, I couldn't help thinking that you were probably not his first or last victim.
Yeah... the cops usually don't do much to help. You should check out the book Lucky by Alice Sebold. Similar story to yours, you might like to read it.
Yes, you are a stronger person for it. I believe all the abuse and horrors I have lived through as a child make me who I am, too. I was lucky with police, though. I got one who followed me to work every day for a week when I was being stalked by a stranger when I was 22. I am furious at the questions you were asked by police. Bastards!
Everything you did was the right thing. That the authorities and your father looked upon such a violation with their apparent nonchalance is inexcusable. That this kind of thing happens at all makes me feel ashamed to be a man.
OMG! My heart goes out to you. Cops always ask that f%#king question! What were you wearing?!!!! That p#sses me off to no end! UGH! When will they learn it's NOT about what a woman is wearing?! It's a f%#king POWER TRIP! At 20, I wouldn't have done it, but at 54, I would have waited for that Mother f%#ker to come back, with my friends Smith & Wesson. I had a weird land lord one time. He gave me the willies. He told me he had been in my house on several occasions without my knowledge.
That must of been hard for you to share this story with us. What a horrible thing to have to experience. I am so glad you went to the police and sued the assh--.I hope he got what he deserved while in prison if you know what I mean. So sorry you had to experience such a horrible thing.
I wonder how many 20 year old women would have had the presence of mind to do all you did to protect yourself from a repeat? Especially after the crappy treatment by the police. That jerk was probably wishing he'd had the same opportunity. Some people think that we owe them sex based on nothing other than that we're female. It's disgusting and inexcusable & you are a brave person for telling the story. I agree, it's probably part of who you are now - the woman who fought back legally. Well done.
Thanks for your bravery. And I´m sorry about your dad. I'll save the comments. Could you please let us know what happened to the landlord? Thanks again, be well.
Omg Van ! What a heart wrenching story! "Fred" should have been castrated, the cop fired, and your Dad have a steel toed boot up his ass !!! I love you sweet lady. hugs, Chris
{{{Van}}} I thought I should ask you before I do it; I have a true story involving an incident at my school some years ago. It doesn't have the impact of yours, but I felt it coming back to me in detail as I watched your video. The story involves me and someone I met several years ago. I offered my help and although she was surprised, she accepted. May I respond to you on video? Henrik
