Reading Bad 2 Sentence Horror Stories w/ Damien Haas | Smosh Mouth 2 

Damien “I’m pissed” Shayne “I’m peeing” The two sentence horror we deserve and need

29:35 I love how Damien asked if it was okay to curse in the podcast after reading a two sentence story about the devil giving infinite head to a dude.

Damien going “so I mirror people” and I was just like yeah ofc you do my fellow neurodivergent

Gotta love Damien straight up giving the autistic secrets for dealing with small talk by following the rules that neurotypicals just typically understand but aren’t conscious of.

Two sentence horror for Shayne: The doors opened to an empty elevator. When I went to press my floor, I saw the speed-walking grannies in the distance.

“Stop! Now!” “Well that’s the end of the story, I have to.” This had me dying.

The fact that Damien dropped that he has a crow he's befriended towards the end of the episode is just the cherry on the top of his casual spookiness

Damien should be a guest on ghost files. Hes got shane level lack of fear of spooky things but hes got ryan level beliefs.

Amanda saying ‘STOP, NOW’ and Damien just going ‘well that’s the end of the story I have to’ dude I was trying not to laugh on my train so badly, Damien’s comedic timing is perfect

Amanda and Shayne: I’m scared of small talk, I don’t know what to say Damien: don’t worry, I have a System

Amanda: "9/11 is untouchable" Damian: Happy puppy face at Amanda & Shayne knowing what he and Shayne have joked about for years.

the “are you familiar with wattpad?” SHOOK ME TO MY CORE

I know they're all roughly the same age, but this gives vibes of two guys explaining horror stories to their mom.

Damiens biggest fear, being misunderstood, makes alot of sense for how well spoken he is, he must put alot of effort into making sure hes always talking clearly, both audibly and intent wise

Shayne: "Satan can't talk right now... he's busy" Damian: "9000 levels of glug glug"

Damien is such a beautiful soul. I have autism and adhd (like so many in the chat here) and it’s so refreshing to hear someone speak so eloquently and openly about mirroring. That “idiot I wasn’t even mentally there” had me absolutely howling.

"I think scarecrows are scary." "Are you a crow?" Best quote 😂

Y’all have to have a creepy pasta episode with Damien back as a guest.

Every time I see and learn more about Damien I’m like, damn, this is a legit cool guy. I mean this as a compliment: He absolutely reeks of years of therapy in the best way. Someone who has gone through and learned so much about themself and how to convey themself clearly. Plus? Funny af.

Hundreds of dead mice, and dolls that make noise on their own? Damien literally grew up in a haunted house and never noticed. That demon was probably so frustrated.

"Out of everyone of Smosh you're the probably the spookiest person" "Thank uuuu 😊"

Amanda struggling to get the joke and then realizing that shes turned on by the idea, pure gold.

55:27 Shayne: “You don’t know Five Nights at Freddy’s so you are not scared” Amanda: “I’m not scared at all” 10 months later: Oh Amanda, my sweet summer child

I didn’t think Damien could get any hotter. A hilarious weeb with the best sense of humor, great sense of style, AND he loves spooky things????

the Dick Devil definitely feels like it'd be part of a classic smosh sketch.

Never thought I’d see Amanda, Shayne and Damien go feral pretending to be a demon looking for a marble statue appendage

"IDIOT, I wasnt even there mentally" is pretty much every conversation I get pulled into. Not just small talk.

Damian's reaction of "poor little thing" and then brought it to his room so it wasn't lonely when encountering the creepy porcelain clown in the attic was so wholesome 🥺.

i adore how high shaynes voice gets when he’s trying to talk while laughing his ass off, it’s so funny

26:55 The devil giving infinite head story being a turn on for Amanda is SO much funnier since I watched the Smosh D&D episode before this & was immediately like "well that explains Dolores' obsession w/ Gunther 🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️"

Honestly, I’m with Amanda with “Old Soul” being used as a good thing. Whenever I heard that phrase it was always depicted as “this person has more maturity for their age/more understanding” instead of “Oh, they’re boring”

The look on Damien and Amanda's faces the moment they had the realization of what Shayne meant by ''9/11'' is priceless

Damien is so mentally healthy and knows how to manage and articulate everything so well. Or at least he presents it so well. Wish I was on his level

The “poor little thing” is so real for neurodivergent people, I used to sleep with my bed covered in stuffed animals when I was a little kid because I didn’t want any of them to be offended that they weren’t chosen for my bed lol

We need to unpack the fact that Damien said 40:28 "A subclass of clowns that spec'd into murder" like that's just a typical path all clowns face choose over balloon animals or tightrope.

Damien identifying as a RECOVERING PEOPLE PLEASER makes my heart so happy ❤

at 11 minutes i love Damien just explaining that he has autism and autistically mirrors others in social settings as a way to communicate with people

I've never agreed more with Amanda than when she said that Damiens deep voice is hot ngl 👀

11:08 the neurodivergent mirroring, scripting, and genuine kindness is my fav part of this podcast so far. I LOVE YALL SO MUCH my adhd social worker brain can’t stop loving on all of you

Amanda, Pink friend Damien, Purple friend Shane, other friend Literally how 3 person friendship always work

Amanda is such an aunt, I love her

That's a two sentence horror story right there: Damien was having a great time on the podcast with his friends Shayne and Amanda. Until he told the story of the clown in the attic.

I think Damien is genuinely the funniest person in the group in terms of straight up jokes, maybe other than Tommy. The others are funny in their own ways, but Damien just kills me with like a single well timed sentence all the time.

This is such a good video to watch when you’re sleep deprived and have been studying geology for six hours. “I went to the beach that makes you old. I got old.” Just hits so much more at half brain capacity

Damien's "well that's the end of the story i have to" to Amanda's "STOP NOW" is by far my favorite thing in the entire world now and i will be using it 24/7 😭

I relate to Damien's fears of being misunderstood so much. As a kid, some people would get really angry at me where I really couldn't understand why. It always stuck with me.

Damien describing his fear of being misunderstood is literally on point to my personal experience with growing up with autism I swear, he’s so good at describing things- him having autism makes so much sense now.

I love that they cut between Amanda talking about how 9/11 is an untouchable topic to Damien still kinda laughing, which in my mind, implies one of them made such a good 9/11 joke that they couldn't keep it in.

Amanda saying in front of Damien that DnD is like the biggest joy in her life right now when he's sort of the catalyst for her playing at all is so wholesome. Imagine how good it must feel to bring joy to Amanda's life? haha I love them both so much.

We DEFINETLY need an Episode for Creepypasta and especially with Damien, it would be AMAZING

"i went to the beach that makes you old. I got old." and "It only 5 night, It only five night. Freddy Fazbear." absolutely killed me.

For anyone in a hurry, the two sentence horror starts here 19:05

Damien is really preaching to the neurodivergent choir with this one

Damian took me out when he said, "I have to. That's the end of the story. They didn't get up and start dancing." 😂

35:36 fun fact, pythagoras, the creator of the pythagorean theorem, was “scared” of fava beans because he believed they contained the souls of the dead

“dad i made two new friends at school today,” my daughter excitedly said my daughter’s homeschooled 🫵😳

The clown boat joke killed me. I want a movie horror-comedy where they keep thinking they've escaped the clowns, then, like, a tiny door opens an clowns just pour out of a cabinet.

"Let's talk about our characters" is perhaps the most D&D thing ever said on Smosh.

Amanda "I think scarecrows are scary." Damien "Are you a crow?" so seriously is one of the funniest things I've heard in so long🤣

Damien counseling shayne and amanda on social anxiety on the elevator was the sweetest thing. It reminds me of his twitch streams when he helps people with anything theyre going through. Hes just so sweet. Also I think he should start a podcast helping people and he could call it Helping People as an Anime Character podcast. He could dress up as his favorite anime character and help people with their problems.

Okay, but Damien telling Amanda to go on Wattpad was a great little moment. I love Damien!

I opened the SmoshCast and start listening to the second episode, thinking I was safe. Then a whisper came from the pipes; “Your not safe” said the Podcast Stabber.

Based on the description, I think my grandmother had the same clown doll that tilted its head in a circle and played a music box version of "it's a small world" 😂 it was just this cute lil guy in a rainbow suit and rainbow hat

28:37 Amanda accidentally made the prompt way funnier by switching Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson! 🤣🤣🤣

LMFAO i just imagine shayne at the doctor’s office filling out his medical history forms and sweating profusely

amanda's increasing panic and "i doN'T GET IT!!!?!"s are killing me someone give her a hug

Shayne's laughter while saying "I don't either!" is priceless hahaha

I doubt anyone cares but Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is about a son who’s father died in 9/11 and does star Tom Hanks. Amanda is probably thinking of the movie Wonder. Remember Me starring Robert Pattinson is the movie where the plot twist is revealed in the last five minutes that 9/11 is about to happen and the main character is standing in his father’s office looking out the window of the WTC. They’re all three different movies

Shayne finding the funny two sentence horror instead of the scary ones and not explaining what he’s doing is great. 😂

have they done a bad two sentence horror story try not to laugh?!?! 😭 i need to see it happen bruh

The 9/11 Robert Pattinson movie is called Remember Me. Without the twist in the end, it is already heartbreaking and emotional, and then his sister is in school, they show the date on the board, and then they show him waiting for his dad in one of the towers, and just a shadow of the first plane. I was broken when I watched it.

I can't get over how much I love Damien like i love them all but he validates my existence and I wish we could be best friends lol

The amount of joy I got hearing the “This dude’s eating beans” meme again is beyond compare. Sad that they didn’t get it tho

Gotta love Amanda explaining to Shayne and Damien that once upon a time, stories were found in books.

I put this on to fall asleep to, but now I'm laughing and my sleep deprivation is getting even worse. (Two sentence horror. Nailed it)

“The lake didn’t had any fishes in it. Because all of the fishes were walking on LAND” IM WHEEZING 💀💀💀💀

I love how supportive they are in Amanda's confusion

I love Amanda hosting, she says whatever is on her mind and is so charming. No shame in not knowing wtf is going on lol

I love Damien explaining that he likes elevator small talk and then going on to perfectly describe following a social script - I feel so seen

I want to give Damien a big hug. Just really respect his authenticity and vulnerability here.

I’m glad I’m not the only one simping for Damien’s deep demon voice 😂

Damien really speaks to the overly self-aware ADHDer within me 😂

“Not Kill You Man” has me choking and sputtering and crying and pissing

How Shayne and Damian met: “Hi I’m Shayne Topp”. “Cool I’m Damian bottom”.

absolutely love the subgenre of smosh content where very online cast members explain internet humor to cast members who have clearly missed at least the last like 10 years of meme culture

Possessed Entity: *Exists* Damien: I shall adopt you and make you my child forever. That strangely made me love Damien even more. Great guest for this episode!

i have so much appreciation for when damien does neurodivergent things (as a fellow ND lol) because it validates my everyday experiences that i sometimes beat myself up over

Of course it's the DS Devil, no other creature is such an absolute legend.

Boo! 👻 Don’t be scared, I’m just here to give you some spooky timestamps: [0:04] 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 [0:36] 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁 [1:23] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘀 [2:16] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟭: 𝗗𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘆 > 5:43 Clown in the attic story > 30:55 Mice in the wall > 55:47 Scarecrows (& crows) [8:30] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟮: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿? > 8:37 Shayne's fears - 8:45 Paperwork - 8:55 Social anxiety?? #1 - 15:02 Shayne's `cringe` twitter story > 9:38 Amanda's fears - 9:38 Social anxiety #2 - 12:35 Amanda is a people pleaser > 13:32 Damien's fears - 13:48 Social Anxiety #3 (missunderstanding) - 17:14 thalassophobia [19:02] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟯: 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀 > 20:50 Similar to a two sentence story: The Golden Arm story [23:34] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟰: 𝗕𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀 (𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳) [PG 14] > 25:40 The best story... 🏆 32:29 Damien's beauty salon story ~ 33:51 𝘉𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘍 𝘋&𝘋 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 [see bellow for more information] 🎲~ [35:13] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟰.𝟮: 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀 [PG 14] [59:02] 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 #𝟱: 𝗗&𝗗 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗺𝗼𝘀𝗵 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗔𝗙 🎲 𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘟𝘛: 𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝑮𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 > 59:39 Characters presentation - 59:48 Amanda's character - 1:01:00 Shayne's practice session character - 1:01:17 Shayne's character > 1:03:15 Pitch of the D&D [1:03:46] 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐨 👋 > 1:03:53 Spooky ending question for Damien: Who is your favorite SmoshCast host? Boo! 👻 Did I manage to scare you this time?? What are you scared about anyways? 😈 PS: Feel free to give me feedback on those timestamps!

27:31 Amanda and Shayne's in-unison laughter at Damien's normal statement LOL.

Damien’s neurospicy Small Talk Game is the exact reason why I loved being a barista- you play that stupid little game with your customers like 100x day and you’re dead by the end of the shift but it was so fun being all the different characters

Shayne’s laugh gives me a boost of serotonin. I’m loving every moment of this.

I love hearing Shayne and Damien talk in these less structured/informal situations because it highlights how genuinely hilarious they are

21:40 I love how Amanda is telling a story from "scary stories to tell in the dark." Then Damien says he's never heard of it but then asks if they have read the book "scary stories to tell in the dark."

I always go back to this episode every once in a while because the two horror sentence stories were interesting alone, but having Damien as a guest in this (and anytime) is always a delight.

We need a smosh pit theatre of 2 sentence horror stories

Amanda is the Deadpool of Smosh, where every video everyone is just regularly talking around a table as Amanda is constantly staring the camera dead in the eyes, breaking the 4th wall 😅

Having Shayne explain the reddit to Amanda and then immediately choosing ridiculous ones is on brand.

that one about the evil beans actually made me crack up

I love how Shayne and Damien have such an immature humor (the best) and are great guys with big hearts. You guys rock.