A lovely book. It's wonderful how his mother showed respect for his ideas and wrote them all down and together she led him to choose the best choice for himself.
The mother was so wise. Her solution was exceptional…I think her life experience was every bit as brilliant as the Torah learning was for the males. Again, you’ve brought another lesson of learning to the rest of us. Thank you.
I loved the book Frieda and I grew up a Southern Baptist. The mother’s approach to problem solving could be used in any community. It’s a calm and gentle way to solve problems with young children who are struggling with any problem. As an 81 year old grandmother, great grandmother and great great grandmother I see the wisdom in the lesson. I’m going to share this story with my family. Thank you again for teaching and sharing understanding,
I thought it was interesting that the boy's Mom helped him exclusively with his problem and not the Dad who would have had the same experience as his son.
He isn’t home. He is studying out of the house. Like the sons. Would it not be good if on Sunday fathers and sons could study at home and spend a few hours at a park?
Happy Succot, It's a shame the boy never got to help out with chores. Keeping a home clean is several full time jobs at once; The greatest mystery we'll never solve is how mum manages all that work.
Exactly my thought! It would have done him a lot of good to have had to help Mom with the chores, so that he would see that not going to Chedar is NOT the 'vacation' that he thinks it is. Although I do applaud his mother's skills, she really should have taken the opportunity to educate him on the female perspective.
All children, regardless of faith or culture, will at some time feel they are being left out. Often it is due to age because the older kids get to experience “fun” things first. In his opinion, the little boy’s sisters are getting to have “fun” because they get to stay home on Sunday. He comes to understand that he is learning things they will not have the opportunity to learn so maybe that’s better than staying home. It’s all a matter of perspective. What I liked about this story is that his mom and older brother helped him see the other side of things. His mom sweetened the deal by giving him a treat which he shared with a new friend. In his own way, and in the time he was allowed to have, he matured a little. That is what we want for all children, to learn and grow.
Thank you for your videos! I live in a Hasidic area in the UK, and now I've been here a while there are things I'm starting to observe. The one I find most striking is the seeming absence of elderly women from the bits of public life I see. The wigs make it hard to tell sometimes, but even taking that into account I see many, many more grey haired and stooped old men, usually surrounded by younger men and deep in conversation, than I do similarly supported older women. I'd be interested to know what care for the elderly is like as well. Sorry if this is the wrong place for such questions!
my grandma may she live to 120 is now turning 100, and is living with my aunt. there are a lot of elderly women with brown wigs. that’s what makes it deceptive. but also the majority of the population is young. additionally, there is a population gap between holocaust survivors and their children. like nothing between 75-95 now. that’s because the nazis killed out the children and the age range that survived was 15-25. so there are like 15 years of no Hasidim, mostly. those people, had they lived, would now be in their high 70s, 80s and up.
What a heartwarming story with a great overall message that letting a child vent and then guiding them to find solutions can empower them to do so independently in the future. Would love for you to do a series reading different children’s books from the community! Such a treat
I enjoyed this very much. Years ago I was facing many challenges in life…so I made a list and started to change the things I was able to one at a time. This was a good reminder to me to teach my seven grandchildren this method of solving challenges. Thank you, you are a treasure ❤
Thank you Frieda for such a sweet video. It really encourages me in my learning Yiddish. I could read/translate most of the words. I think I should get some children’s books to read. Awesome!
Love this. Great reading. Perfect to have the text in Yiddish on the screen. A story very well narrated and teiched out. Excellent, insightful summation!!Shkoyakh!!
I like how the Mom uses the Love and Logic parenting style. We use that technique in school and I tried to use it with my own kids. Everyone needs to be led to find solutions to their own struggles with the help of a parent or someone else who cares for us. Thanks for sharing the story.
I loved this! The two things most enjoyable to me were, first, that it focused on the jealousy/envy that the boy felt, and, second, that it presented the interaction between the mother and the boy, with her helping him figure out how to deal with such a situation and his feelings constructively.
Freida, My adult exposure to the modern orthodox Jewish community and my upbringing has always left me bewildered by what men do. I see the women working hard outside of the home and within. After working all day, the women cook, clean, and care for children. I often wonder what the men do and why the women aren't angry after a long day of work, to come home and work more with no actual partnership from the husband. Holiday prep, Shabbot prep...what exacly do men do ? They are not building sukkah all year. Your book was very interesting and serves a purpose, but makes me wonder. Thank you for the great content.
The men study Torah and teach Torah and some write holy books Through their merits the wives benefit and they earn a good place in heaven after they die. Both husband and wives for supporting them. Hashem chose our nation because of the virtues of our forefathers, and our people have been loyal to the Torah through thick and thin, for thousands of years. Anything that we did that’s misdeeds, that’s natural, it’s human, we’re not angels, but no nation in the world could ever aspire to equal us in virtue. And even today the Torah observant Jew is a model of virtue, of decency that all mankind could learn could learn from.
@@lindaversil1121 Thank you for taking the time to reply. I still see such a lop-sided division of work in Jewish marriages. I see women working harder and harder yet hoping their husbands' prayer efforts raise the wife up. It was too hard for me to buy into while I was earning the money and doing all of the housework. It was too hard for me to buy into after learning how my mom lived angry daily. I am glad your experience has been better than mine. This video prompted great discouurse.
@@barbaradaley4175 I know many wives including the wives of rabbi mizrachi and rabbi anava who are busy raising their seven children each and maintaining the household thus freeing their husbands to learn and teach Torah. These rabbis and many others have said that all their Torah goes to their wives who will have a beautiful place in heaven for promoting their husbands to learn Torah They sacrifice but are happy to do so
the men in the community I cover all work. I’ve done a video about it - the hasidic economy explained. the men in this community work incredibly hard because they are the breadwinners. I can’t speak for other communities where men sit and study, I think in those situations they are extremely involved with the children and childcare duties.
Thoughtful, gentle and effective. This has universal appeal. Any parent can learn from it. Personally my take away was how pleasant was this morning when I was having breakfast with my wolf dog and Frieda was reading to me, a children's book that held a deeper meaning on coping skills. 🍬 That was my Sunday nosh.
I definitely like the kind way the mother helps her child and the story expands on how the decisions play out in other situations. Thank you for sharing this book!! ❤❤❤
Brilliant book. Thank you for presenting it to us your wide audience. The book has general application to our problem solving challenges. Excellent book for children, parents and children.
I feel like this is all childhoods, to some degree, children are curious by nature and will point out why their sibling doesn't always get the same treatment as they do. My sibling has food allergies and so as a kid I remember constantly asking why they sometimes couldn't eat what I eat.
oh that’s so sweet and empathetic of you- I guess the job for parents to work through these feelings between siblings is one of the parts of parenting I don’t get because I have one child.
I loved hearing this story. I had to listen to the end to find out what happened. ❤ 😊 I can see how separate educations are part of the social structure. The older I get, the more I appreciate social normals that help keep everything running smoothly.
Love your channel Frieda, i became interested in all things Jewish initially from following an Israeli travel vlogger, then i discovered Klezmer and wow i'm blown away.
ha ha afterwards I kicked myself for translating on the fly but I think people like these videos because they are so real and not polished to oblivion?
I liked how the book gave space for everything; the sons experience, the vocabulary for that experience, and the words on one page while the art is on another. We dont find that often in Yiddish young childrens books
A very interesting little book. As to the segregated aspects of Hasidic education, I can only speak as an outsider, so I hope I don't offend. I am not judging, only observing. It seems to me that the end result of both boys' and girls' educational journeys actually leads to the same place though it emerges from differing expectations. The boys are expected to be religious scholars and at the same time to support a family. This means that their opportunities are limited and narrow. The girls are expected to be wives and mothers and to not really use their education outside the home. This means that their opportunities are limited and narrow. Which is all well and good when life goes in a smooth path and the individual is happy and fulfilled. But when it goes another way or this path is not a good one for the individual then life, partially because of lack of education, can become very difficult. And now having said this, while this type of problem may be a bit starker or more noticeable in the Hasidic community, it is not limited to only this community. There are other communities, religious and otherwise, that struggle with this same challenge. Thank you so much, Frieda, for your efforts to enlighten, share, and bring about real and respectful discussion with your videos. You are a little spark of light for me as I enter the internet world because sometimes that world seems to be a real mess.
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely book with us. I definitely would love you to also read it in Yiddish. The book has super cute illustrations and I love the mother's approach of writing down all sugestions. It was interesting to note the Yiddish font in the book. It looked very formal, like using Times New Roman. I would have expected text in a bigger font size and a more rounder font maybe? Children's books tend to have rounder fonts, vershtays? But what a gem sharing with us, a sheyne dank ❤
I have four boys and my youngest is a girl. She complains to me every Sunday and says she wishes she was a boy . When I ask her why that is, she’ll always answer that they get to go to school on Sundays and she doesn’t 😀. My boys always complained that they had school on Sundays and as teens they have school in the evenings too and it’s not fair that the the girls have so much free time to have fun. I think kids love to compare themselves to other kids regardless of their religion, family dynamics etc . But we hear our children out and validate them. As adults , it evens out and the complaints fade away. At least that’s my experience.
I thought it was a good story. I’m not Jewish. I read stories about Jewish people as a child and those stories meant a lot to me. I think this story shows universality about families and love and emotions and childhood. It’s not only Jewish. What I liked best was hearing it read although it was translated because the - I don’t know the right words, but the cadence of Yiddish is comforting to me and I associate it very happily with the time I spent in New York and the community in Brooklyn although otherwise they are fairly unknown to me. Yiddish always sounds cozy. Also your hair looks great even though it’s growing out and you have roots. ❤
I could not stop listening. Food for thought Indeed. If only the secular world would take a lesson from this children’s book. Also, it gives me joy to see you reading not just another language but another symbolistic language. That’s why the Orthodox Jewish life style is so wonderful. Thank you. I actually enjoyed the story book.
Very good. I don't remember either of my parents taking the time to "reason With me" in any scenario. I wish that there were mechanisms, teachings and parents like that who were around when I was young.
I speak German and can read Hebrew, so I was trying to follow along with the Yiddish while you read. It's so cool how much I can understand! I did not think Yiddish was that close to German
Rabbi mizrachi tells a similar story about his son. His ten year old son didn’t want to wake up early and go to shul with him. He wanted to sleep in like his sister. So the rabbi went to shul with his other sons and left that one home. The rabbi rewarded the other sons with treats when they got home but the one that stayed home didn’t get any. After a week that son begged to go to shul with his dad because he wanted a treat. The rabbi said that you have to bribe kids with something that they like and eventually they will want to do it without being rewarded.
Great presentation! Music is unnecessary. For me interesting, how things are presented and interpreted inside the community. Would be nice to hear more. 🤗
Very cute. Disregarding the social goals of the story, I do love how it shows patience and consideration from the mother, and respect for the child's feeling. Interesting there's no mention of the father, and interesting that the story notes mother won't always have the time to consideration solutions with the child. Really nice insight, thanks for sharing!
If, I am not mistaken, you do not hear of the Father in this story b/c the Mother is the one that cares and passes on knowledge to the children (boys) until they reach a certain age. Women, are the workers in the home and their parental job is to raise the children. It's not only Torah commanded it is Biblically commanded.
now that you mention it, it is I think really common for hasidic children’s books to almost entirely center the mother because she is so central to the emotional development of the children. the father is central in rituals. this is why leadership in the community dont want mothers to have smartphones.
It's such an interesting perspective to me because I had a lot of the same feelings as the main character going to an all-girls Dati Leumi school. Ii was jealous of non-religious schools for learning five days a week while we learned six but was glad I learned tora, neviim, halakha, and mishna (in elementary, obviously we learned more as we got older) and they barely learned tora. I was also jealous of haredi girls schools for having much shorter days but I was just happy I didn't have towear tights. And I really related to hating waking up early on Sunday in the summer. It's funny to me bc as a child I always felt sorry for haredi boys for having almost no summer vacation and learning almost no non-religious subjects. I still think it's bad that they're non given much a choice in what they wantvto work as they get older so I'm really happy Haredi Leumi schools are getting so popular now. This is too long but I wonder if you had mishnayot contests and, if you did, what you got as prizes. We just got extra points on tests lol.
the girls definitely don’t have mishnayot contests because they don’t learn mishnayos but the boys I bet do, and prizes rant from small trinkets to awards?
I don’t think there would be an analogous book for girls because girls see their Sundays as half days and days to clean up after shabbes but also often to go shopping (hence the jealousy of the boys)
No matter what boys get taught or not, they grow up to be the bosses of their community and the girls are expected to breed and care for the next generation.
It’s very sweet. However, it’s not all fun and games for the girls. They get to do all the menial chores that keep a home running. They get to have boring conversations about clothing, who got engaged and household chores. 😊They never get to learn Torah.
I enjoyed the story! I did not realize that there was a difference in the education of boys & girls in the Hasidic community. I am assuming that since the girls do arithmetic that they are the ones that do the budgeting in the homes as wives!?
the genders have super different education! the girls learn secular subjects mostly because they have the time and liberty to do so. boys’ time is seen as too precious to spend on secular subjects.
What I found interesting about this book is that the father is totally missing from the story. How did he feel when his son was complaining? Did the mother talk this over privately with her husband? Did they agree to let mother deal with this and help her son through this problem? Maybe it is that the mother's approach in resolving this would have gone over better because she guided the boy through with a gentler hand?
I think the mother is hands on with the children while the father is working, and the mother is the one almost entirely responsible for the emotional wellbeing of the kids.
I love the honestly! I think the men would say it’s a “yes, and” issue. They feel they missed out on fun (we couldn’t go to Brooklyn to visit family on Sundays once our son was in 1st grade and learned on Sundays), and “the system” does severely limit the options that young adults can choose from. I’m actually impressed by how the book handles it, and specifically that it’s the mother. My kids are out of the story book years - is there anything with a girl who turns to her father for help with a problem?
There is a lesson to be learned to the many governments in this scary world of today. I wonder if the publisher might translate it and send it to the leaders of the world.
I was shocked that the female characters in the story were depicted in the illustrations when so many are blacked out, pixelated, completely eliminated in many of our printed publications.
I know there is a lot of negative beliefs about the yeshiva education of boys. I don’t know if this is true in the Satmar Hasidic schools, but I know quite a few men who are strictly religious Jews who went on after yeshiva to get graduate degrees, Ph.D.s, and law degrees. One very religious man finished his yeshiva, earned a Ph.D. And then went on to law school. Study habits can be transferred. I would be surprised to learn that men who leave Hasidism didn’t have success in secular education after they left.
Frieda, I have a question and hope you or someone else in the comments might be able to answer. I live in rural Alabama in a very small town and am Catholic, 60 years old and have no particular skills. I am so upset over how people are being ugly about Israel and the way the Jews are being harassed and targeted, which I see on the news, although not very much in Alabama thank goodness. My question is how can I help and is there anything that I could possibly do? I can't afford to donate to any organization by would be happy to do what is needed to help,but I have no idea what that would be. I just want to do something because this isnt something that I think people should just ignore. I have lost touch with my Jewish friends, like I have with my Christian friends etc, so I couldn't ask them and I did call the synagogues in the two cities near me but they don't answer so I left a message with my number and an offer to volunteer to do anything that is needed. I don't even know if anything is needed here, but I am sure that there may be people who feel uncomfortable and even intimidated with the overall mood and tone nowadays and might not feel comfortable, so I'd run errands for someone who didn't want to, or whatever is needed. I know my comment sounds silly,but I do feel the need to do something to be helpful but I just don't know what. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please let me know who I should call or email etc. Thanks, and I love your content.
I know this question was addressed to Frieda, but if I could add my 2 cents: you don't need to donate money. Simply saying the truth, in person and on social media does more than any organization. Thank you for being awesome
I noticed in the video quite a lot of times, showing the page - that the definate article- der, di, dos.. which exists in grammar in Yiddish is often simply reduced to the feminine di, incorrectly. Thus I saw di gute taam.. the good taste.. which I think should be ..der guter taam.. masculine. Does this book have incorrect grammar? Has it been checked? I would appreciate your comments as to Yiddish grammar understanding in modern Satmar circles/ materials...
this is how chasidim do grammar. we don’t differentiate between di/der/dos really. my son is learning yivo Yiddish and I was surprised how much emphasis they place on genders, among other grammatical things. To us it’s kind of just not important. these things sort of are collapsed into one and it’s “pick the article you like, it doesn’t matter” kinda thing. nowadays the community’s literature is developing and it’s becoming more ambitious and some are pushing for a more streamlined grammar but… I am not feeling those sentiments personally.
For some reason this video did not show up on my RU-vid channel even though k am subscribed. I am shocked by how few views this has had. Very strange !
Betty dear! Thanks for the comment! I actually didn't mark this video as public. That's why. It's on my playlists which means anyone who looks at my, let's say, education playlist, will see it but not otherwise. I haven't finished it. I just did the english subtitles for it and I need to do a thumbnail. It's a process!
Slightly off topic, I happened to see an interview with a singer who left the Hasidic community but then returned, for the music closeness and family. The young man is very talented but it pains me to see how much he does not know. He did not know about the internet before he left the community. He did not know who Bob Dylan is. I find studying the Hasidic community fascinating, but I find the deliberate blinding of generations of children to science etc and the sex segregation very disturbing.
Because we try to live holy Godly lives and secular musicians don’t promote this Jewish law has always segregated men and women to prevent sex sins and so we can concentrate on Torah and not be allured by the opposite sex. When we marry we are modest and don’t hold hands or kiss in public. We don’t need to know all the foolishness of the secular world. We do very well in our lives not knowing who Bob Dylan is or Taylor swift. We listen to orthodox Jewish musicians who are terrific and have lots of joy in our lives. Most of these orthodox and chassidic families have more than ten kids so they know about sex. We love the segregation. When I pray to God in the synagogue I don’t want a man looking me over and thinking thoughts about me. And men shouldn’t be distracted when praying to God by a woman sitting next to him. Modesty is very strong with us. Women have a lot of laws to obey. We run the house and take care of all the kids. It’s not easy.
So out of everything it pains you that he didn’t know of the internet and bob dylan? I think kids in this community are way better off precisely because they’re not exposed to the internet and because they aren’t being taught together with the opposite sex. I’m sure you know the pitfalls of both.
@@Faigyfeig so they don’t know Bob Dylan and pop culture but they know every holy rabbi of all generations and their works What’s more important. The secular people don’t know who the chofetz Chaim or the vilna gaon were. They are much more important than pop singers
Hashem chose our nation because of the virtues of our forefathers, and our people have been loyal to the Torah through thick and thin, for thousands of years. Anything that we did that’s misdeeds, that’s natural, it’s human, we’re not angels, but no nation in the world could ever aspire to equal us in virtue. And even today the Torah observant Jew is a model of virtue, of decency that all mankind could learn could learn from. Avigdor miller
I don't know if you have made a video about Jewish literature in general, so I have been thinking if merely entertaining literature exists for Hasidic readers. So many homes seem to have huge bookshelves, but is there detective stories or high quality fiction too? Literature that is aimed to present human issues without any dogma?
Not Haredi literature per-se. The joy of learning should be sufficient entertainment. The Talmud does have several romance stories: R'Akive and Rachel Beruryah and El3azar ben Terradion(?) Drama is found in Sanhedrin and Hagiga. Fantasy in Qabalah/Reb Nahman's stories. Besides that we have lives of saints.
this literary scene is in its infancy. when were kids there were a handful of entertainment books. the big books in the house are not for entertainment. nowadays there are so many books, I saw for Sukkos so many new books came out, including detective books!
I love this!! women in this world are so powerful in their own way, I hate it when the world tells them they are just little objects in a world of men.
@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn There's a saying "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." Women care for the next generation when it is in its most vulnerable, impressionable state. This gives mothers enormous influence over their children to shape their frame of reference and values.
it’s very common. this is not the first comment I get about blonde hair illustrations but a lot of kids in this community are quite blonde as kids. My son was also very blonde as was I and most of my siblings. It’s like a blonde that turns dark in adulthood. I wonder if it’s because we are Hungarian largely v polish. I’m sure the internet commenters looking to scream at us that we are not the real Jews would latch on to this.
Most likely much of it has to do with the subject matter. Since the Lubavitcher Rebbe is speaking on religious topics, that Yiddish will have much greater religious terminology, Hebrew, and Aramaic.
Very interesting... makes me curious... Implication seems that Hasidic women grow up with much greater ability to live in the secular world than the men. Does that not create risk of women fleeing the community? Also notable how that's the polar opposite of Islam, where the men are uncaged animals & the women are slaves
I am not able to comment about the Satmar community today or in the past but historically it was a serious problem among religious Jews in Eastern Europe although today largely forgotten. While the sons of wealthy Hasidic Jews received a traditional religious education and were sent to yeshiva, no such educational options existed for the daughters who were allowed exposure to secular education.
@@Faigyfeig yeah I just read my comment & noticed that myself ... what I had in mind was "abandoning" the community, but in retrospect probably a more neutral term like "leaving" would be best
A shocking but fascinating book by Rachel Manekin is The Rebellion of the Daughters: Jewish Women Runaways in Habsburg Galicia. (Quoted From Amazon): The Rebellion of the Daughters investigates the flight of young Jewish women from their Orthodox, mostly Hasidic, homes in Western Galicia (now Poland) in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. In extreme cases, hundreds of these women sought refuge in a Kraków convent, where many converted to Catholicism. Those who stayed home often remained Jewish in name only. Relying on a wealth of archival documents, including court testimonies, letters, diaries, and press reports, Rachel Manekin reconstructs the stories of three Jewish women runaways and reveals their struggles and innermost convictions. Unlike Orthodox Jewish boys, who attended "cheders," traditional schools where only Jewish subjects were taught, Orthodox Jewish girls were sent to Polish primary schools. When the time came for them to marry, many young women rebelled against the marriages arranged by their parents, with some wishing to pursue secondary and university education. After World War I, the crisis of the rebellious daughters in Kraków spurred the introduction of formal religious education for young Orthodox Jewish women in Poland, which later developed into a worldwide educational movement. Manekin chronicles the belated Orthodox response and argues that these educational innovations not only kept Orthodox Jewish women within the fold but also foreclosed their opportunities for higher education. Exploring the estrangement of young Jewish women from traditional Judaism in Habsburg Galicia at the turn of the twentieth century, The Rebellion of the Daughters brings to light a forgotten yet significant episode in Eastern European history.
@@sixfiftyfive2386 same difference. No one leaves the community because they learned secular subjects. Just like no one who grows up secular learns Hebrew or watches Frieda’s videos and suddenly goes “now I can finally join this community”.
Heard some men saying a Jewish prayer on RU-vid : Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman. ( Most of them don't care about that book , they dance and sing )
Yes, indeed, it is part of the morrow blessings; However, it relates to a woman haveing many difficulties men don't have to deal with. I do half the chores at home, it's a full time job!
Thats because women don’t have the joy of learning Torah all day because of their respon to their families and all the children they have. Jewish law exempts women from studying Torah although if they have the time they should too, but they don’t have to like men are commanded to. Thats why men say they are happy they are not women so they can study Torah all day which they love
Whay strikes me is the amount of text and the number of details that are presented for a child of that age. This is not a childrens book. It is a little grown-up book, with reasoning, generating possibilities, making informed choices and dealing with realities that cant be changed but can be reframed. This book has way too much text and to few pictures for regular children. It also has no free flights of imagination. Bottom line. One can impressed by the level of reasoning that a hasidic child can perform, but it is also quite sad to me, because there is no room "just having free time" and, apparently, no room for free flights of imagination.
like Faigy said you learn nekides and reading Hebrew to Daven even if you don’t learn loshen kodesh. first thing they teach to young children is the Alef bes and nekidos
She has 13 brothers and sisters who I suspect are still part of the Hassidic community, so it's not that simple and not altogether necessary to make a complete break with the past.
this is the present for me, this is my work. video making and cultural translating is fascinating, stimulating enjoyable work. people who do work in a niche aren’t living in a past or future, this is no different
As a feminist, I find the concept of boys only things and girls only things anathema, but equally I don't want to dismiss someone else's culture. I just hope that for those boys who don't want to be, or can't be, the traditional male, there is room made, and for girls who don't want or can't be the traditional female there is room made. Because otherwise those kids when they grow up have no option but to leave their community and as someone who left the Church because of fixed views on certain things, well, it's incredibly hurtful
Well, God created a man and a woman. Jewish boys go to school on Sunday, Jewish girls stay in bed on that day .To be honest as a male I would be fuming about that a lot WHAT AN INJUSTICE !!! So the moral you need to find an attractive hansome man in your life ,so he could make you happy and warm at night.
