I'd like to add a comment on DV/DA, as a survivor myself. One of the things that gets brought up when discussing this topic is "Why don't they leave when they have the chance?" or "Why do they defend their partners?". The reason is because they don't believe they will be able to get away for good. If there's any chance that they escape attempt won't succeed and they end up back in the hands of the abuser then their life will be made even worse for making the attempt. One of the tactics of abusers is to isolate people from their support network so that they believe they have no one who cares about them or who would help them. Usually people who know the abuser won't suspect anything because these people are manipulative and clever, they'll be on their best behaviour around others. That's the only thing I found slightly unrealistic about the story line, otherwise it was very good. Abuse victims will make all the excuses under the sun for the behaviour of their abuser but the words have been put there, if they didn't defend it they'd be punished for that.
@@hunterG60k What about where kids are involved. Why do some victims choose to have kids with someone abusing them? Why do some parents not do everything in their power to protect their kids and take them away from being abused or witnessing abuse? That is what I don't get.
@@vg7735 This is something that I've struggled to get my head around in the past. Personally I think this would be the point where I had to get out, the alarm bells would ring too loud. But you never really know what you'll do until you're in that situation. I was lucky, some people have no support and may never have had any. I can only assume that they are so traumatised as to be in pure survival mode and unable to comprehend the consequences of exposing their children to it. I try to be as generous as I can to victims. We should be asking how can abusers bring children into such an environment, or treat children the way they do.
@@vg7735 Sometimes, they don't get much of a choice when it comes to having kids with an abuser. There is a large component of psychological/emotional/financial control in a lot of abuse cases, and as mentioned in this video almost 30% of these DV cases _begin_ when pregnant. Those DV cases that begin before pregnancy often have a large sexual abuse component too. As far as protecting or removing children from the situation, it was made abundantly clear to my mother that if she fled with us kids she would be hunted down (by her abuser) and every one of us would be killed. The risks of running (having her children killed) outweighed the risks of staying (being beaten and manipulated). It's not as easy a decision as you're making it out to be, and I think you're _highly_ underestimating how deeply and thoroughly an abuser undermines every aspect of a victim's life subtly and over time. Once you realize you're in it, it's often too late. Without significant evidence, the police aren't going to protect you. There are always going to be times at which you or your children are not protected from the abuser you ran from. There's a good chance that the abuser has control over your finances, your (and your children's) legal documents, and has cut you off from any source of aid. Yes, you can get out; but people who look in from the outside and go "Well, I just don't know why they didn't get out sooner" have _no_ idea the choices that have to be made.
This show seems to bring a lot of key moments that really make me appreciate the medical field and its staff even more. Although, you’ve already teaching this for a while now, Dr. Hope, so I’m not surprised ;) thank you.
Yay I really love watching your reactions to this series. It is truly fantastic. I worked in the NHS in London for 9 years and this programme is the most accurate depiction of real life in the NHS I've ever seen. Can't wait for your next reaction.
- it's crazy the amount of realism in this show. I don't think I've seen a show closer to modern hospital workings and that fact that it doesn't hold any punches with its episodes is also brilliantly eye-opening. Loving your take on the episodes!
Like many life changing decisions, leaving an abusive relationship is a process and coming to point where one chooses to embrace the uncertainty that seeking a safer life often takes time.
So happy you keep doing more episodes! Really, really insightful commentary about a wonderful(ly acted) show. Would absolutely be wonderful if you did more (the whole series preferably :)). I'm especially curious about your reaction to the final episode of the series.
I think Adam summed it up nicely at the end of the video, you'd go private for routine procedures/minor ops. The NHS is more equipped to handle emergencies because emergencies are going on all the time.
Having worked within the ICU environment for many years I can only agree with your very clear analysis of the show. My medical mates tend to agree the show is true to life, and dare I say death!
I loved the book and I wasn't disappointed with the telly show. I don't work in the NHS but I have spent a lot of time in hospitals. The NHS staff are amazing and do a very hard job. Well done Dr Hope 💕
Having worked as an interpreter for hospitals and the police I have witnessed many times that situation. Unfortunately abuse victims rarely speak up, it's hard and painful sometimes, because you really want to help them, but you can break the boundaries of your job, and you have to respect their decisions as well.
Brilliant reaction. This series is the most real depiction of the everyday life in the nhs, and i really seldom watch hospital dramas because of the exaggerations of it. Well done to the team who made this series. And yes i worked in the NHS and i know how it feels like
I went to a grand rounds presentation that was all about new guidelines for physicians that are called on for emergencies on flights. The physician giving the presentation warned that there is probably a much higher chance that you will be recognized as a physician than you might appreciate (especially as emerg docs), and that getting found out for doing that can be a shitty situation.
The curtain being soundproof rings true unfortunately for me just before a kidney biopsy the nurse the other side of it saying I've never assisted on one before I'm really nervous😳
@@ZED2.0 well not particularly she had to move the equipment to the other side of bed didn't unplug it and pulled the heavily pregnant doctor onto me plus dr said I had to lie on that side for so many hours half way through nurse insisted I had to alternate so turned me despite me saying what I had been told just settled dr came back told me I had to get back on the other side 😂🙄 just one of a few incidents during that stay thankfully just one or two people of a fantastic otherwise team
I really hope this show lights a fire in people suffering from domestic abuse. Just talking to someone about it and what happens can go a long way to help. Don't let your abuser decide what is and isn't okay, regardless of who they are.
I loved the book and I think the show though very much a different beast is good. Fun watching these though don’t eat during them, which goes for the show too. Dr. Hope is obviously one of the very nice doctors, I haven’t seen many health care professionals but I’ve had my share of rude ones and condescending ones basically there are all kinds. I’ve also had great ones who cleaned me up after my appendix ruptured all over. I’ll remember my surgeon and anesthesiologist for the rest of my life. I think they have the Dr. Kay character voice a lot of things that he probably kept to himself irl? It’s clear watching him that Adam Kay is very intelligent. He knows when arguing with a mad person is a waste of breath.
Huh, weird, at my hospital it seems like wet paint is just sorta a normal thing. I swear every other month there's signs all over the place warning of wet paint (and of course the halls smelling of wet paint). The walls are painted a basic beige over the incredibly normal appearing undercoat of basic beige. Honestly, I have no idea why the walls get painted as much and as often as they do, but I swear the walls have to be like 75% paint and only about 25% wall at this point.
I do not understand how DNR is ever in a patient's best interests (unless they specifically ask for it) - for example: an elderly woman with an aortic aneurysm. Yes, there's a 99% chance that defibrilation or CPR will burst the damn thing, and even in the lucky 1% they come round in absolute shit state, but how is it really better to just let them bloody die‽ If this seems oddly precise for a medical Muggle, it's because I'm describing my mother. Or was describing her, as she was allowed to die about a fortnight ago.
Its difficult to end or get out of domestic abuse, they are someone you have built a life with massively in any situation. You dont necessarily start with it being abusive or sometimes the methods of abuse cause difficulties in realising it or pulling away from it. Specially after being able to talk about it, maybe for the first or even generally, you want to go back to something that feels normal, safe because you know how to act and what to expect, so you go back. A lot of overlapping with the language of addiction to, where something is just for now, while something is going on, until something gets better, its not permanent. The positive is each yime these things happen, each moment talking about it or confiding or getting space,is one step closer to leaving it behind forever, for getting past the difficulties and getting away from the active inflicting of pain and trauma, both emotional and physical. Then you get to live again, it takes so much time to heal these wounds, and be able to be a person again, its difficult, but its wasier without the cause of the pain. Sorry for the long comment, went on a thing.
0:44 The author of the book, Adam Kay himself, wrote every episode and I don't think he wrote his character to lie to make him look cool. What I think is happening is that because his boyfriend has already given him an earful too many times about overtime, he refused to help out of guilt.
Doc, have you ever had an experience with that red dots? With a patient in a domestic abuse? And what's the most hostile patient/S.O. experience you've had?
I don't think he's trying to be cool he's going through something really bad. If u whent through what he did. would u want help someone knowing what happened
Probably something I should have mentioned that he is no doubt beyond burnout so lacking empathy and also not doing things he'd ordinarily do, i.e. stopping to help.
0:50 I do not know about your country.. but even here it is quite "norm" advice for doctors to not help outside their work. If I understood it correctly.. it is because they are "doctors" it is their "job" basically.. and if the "patient" dies under their care.. outside or inside the hospital, they will be in quite sh*tty problems thanks to it. Not exactly sure if it is correct.. but I would not be surprised.
I feel like you don't really get the character at times. They're not trying to make Adam look cool. This is a story about a doctor who chooses to leave medicine and what lead to that. He's not cool, he's burnt out.
14:22 "She should have got out of the room quicker, It's not your job to put yourself in danger." No, and I would not ask/expect that of any healthcare worker. Nor would I expect that to be part of my job if I worked directly with patients. I know you're coming at this review from a professional standpoint but a lot of people would see saving someone (and their child) from a life of misery, no matter how unlikely the outcome, worthy of risk to their own personal safety or even career.
I’m really enjoying your take on such an amazing show. Its interesting to hear real perspective and experiences relating to it. For all the barbed jokes, pitch black humour, tragedy and outright cynicism in some scenes, it’s also bloody hilarious, sweet and very emotional too.
Dr Hope - I love your channel (found it in 2020 as we hit the first lockdown) and want to say that 'This is Going to Hurt' was one of the most incredible shows I ever saw, and your response videos to it are fantastic and given even more fascinating insight. Thank you. Please, please, please keep going. The series has way more to give and I can't wait to hear your response to some of the events ahead. Thank you.
This is an excellent dramatisation of Adams life. I found it compelling viewing. He has not rewritten his character to be a paragon of virtue. Very warts an all story telling. Excellent break of the 4th wall to let us in to his inner thoughts. I'm left with complete admiration for NHS staff and wanting to do something constructive, but not sure what would be meaningful (the clapping during covid19 seems particularly useless)
In short, no. A DNR must be requested and signed by a doctor. I believe you must be confirmed to be of sound mind. And the DNR needs to be filed. A DNR can be rescinded if you change your mind but a tattoo cant, so doctors can't be sure that its relevant to your current circumstances. There was a case of a young man who got DNR tattooed on him as a drunken dare and then everytime he went into hospital he had to explain he wasnt actually DNR. Its cases like this where validity comes into play. Also theres no guarantee that DNR doesnt stand for Daniel Neil Roberts (for example) or another loved ones name. Therefore most of the time its completely ignored. If you are thinking of getting DNR tattooed on you, my advice would be dont.
@@aliciaclark7264 thank a lot for amount of efforts to answer a drunk question, it's just, I've lost some physical privilege already. it just occur to me if even something happens again and turns the situation worse, can one make a pre-decision to just gone with the easy way.
Thanks for another great reaction vid. I’m just loving this series. About one of the hardest watches I’ve seen in a long time. I honestly don’t know how you guys do it.
Where I'm from even if the patient is reluctant to report it the hospital has to and in this case the case against him involves a third party. Also, we would NOT let the son stay with either parent unless the mother and father agrees to living at separate locations, usually monitored by an ankle monitor until trial starts. We've had far too many "accidents" happening after we spotted this type of abuse so we changed our laws.
8:00 literally the check list of denial. I don't know about the curriculum these days, but learning about signs of an abusive relationship should be taught right along with sex ed. It's every bit as important.
Love your reactions on this show. It makes me wanna see this whole series. I like how you explain/compare things in these episodes from your own experiences. Now i really wanna watch this show!
I really have great respect for Doctors. These reaction videos show us how difficult situations can be in your day to day life. Really appreciate you sharing it with us!
