Remember that day with absolute clarity I would still make a deal with the devil to bring him back. 

I wrote this a year ago, and a year later it still rings true. “One year ago today the Universe decided it would be the most devastating day to date by taking Finley away from me. I remember everything about that time and day with absolute clarity like it was last week. I would still make a deal with the devil to bring him back. I’ve experienced tremendous loss and disappointment in my life, more than anyone should, and yet for reasons I can’t explain losing him remains the hardest. I miss him just as much today as I did a year ago…not a day goes by I don’t think of him.” And now at least once a day, a call Lennox Finley; which is weird because they are nothing alike. His death announcement showed up in my FB memories and as I read the comments from 2 years ago someone said, he will always be with me. I think there’s truth to that. In a field that I spend almost every day in, I have never seen a kestrel until 2 days after Finley died. Just as I was getting into the car something made me look up; and high above me was a male kestrel hovering. I didn’t see the bird again until nearly 2 years later just before his tribute in Sedona. Devin and I saw a male kestrel 3 times in two days. I have not seen him since. Was it Finley? I don’t know but being from Sedona I believe differently than most so I will choose to believe it was his doing. It confuses me that a bird weighing only 6 cookies can leave such grief behind. Maybe one day this day won’t be such a memory. #imissfinley

So you let him go and he didn't come back. What's wrong?