Ren - Depression (Official Lyric Video) 

- What's your favourite genre of music? - Ren.

So many artists sing about "depression" but most of it ends up pretty generic and cheesy, not this, this is art

I like how it starts as a monologue and ends as a song and you go from being a victim to rebelling against your affliction almost as if music was your cure

Man, I came from Luigi singing about capitalism to an emotional roller coaster about myself, he sings so well.

I’ve now totally gone down the REN rabbit hole. Fuck, this one is harsh. Brutal, frightening and very very accurate. Not just the lyrics, even the music feels heavy and hopeless. It sounds like Ren is performing the personification of depression. Unbelievably raw, vulnerable and honest. REN has blown me away again! 😮

holy fuck. i had to listen to this twice, and each time i could feel each word even deeper. at the end when you broke down, i cried with you. thank you, for putting such deep pain, in a beautiful beautiful way. please don't stop.

*The golden age. You know those times where everything was golden? Where you were carefree and everything was golden. The hardest thing I ever had to do was come to terms with the fact that... That time never really existed...* It hurts so much, more than the most horrible physical pain I've ever felt, to realize and accept that things were never really okay.

In a Depression and Bipolar peer support group, an attendee once said, "Hoping a person will understand your depression, is like asking a blind man to describe the color blue". Ren really nails it, and all who have experienced it know it. I do wonder if a person who has not experienced actual depression (not the "I'm so depressed I can't find my glasses" kind) can come any closer to understanding thru his words. I hope so! In the meantime, the peer support groups I once scoffed at have been a life saver. No clinician has truly understood how it FEELS if they themselves have not/do not struggle with it themselves. Many do their best to learn from their patients, and I applaud them. Thank you, Ren, for having the bravery it takes to share these raw emotions. We feel seen.

Dude. This is a masterpiece. Keep it up. Listening from Argentina.

The golden age hits me hard. When I started therapy I was asked when the last time I was happy with myself was. I kept insisting that there was a time when I was younger. There must have been. I couldn’t remember it, but there must have been a time. Thinking of my childhood only makes me sad, but it must have been better than this. Surely it must have been... That realization crushed me even more.

This is beyond just music and poetry. Pure Art. This captures exactly what it feels like to go through depression. It was so nice to have words to describe what it felt like.

Took me almost a week to take strength and write this comment. I'm 25 yo now but diagnosed with anxiety and depression since I was 12. No one to talk with, not even my parents because football soccer seemed to be more important than their kid crying every night. In high school I spent my first 2 years not talking to someone, sitting alone and eating alone while lunch time. I was rapped at the age of 8, then at 13 and last time on May 2018. This song... Fck... Ren, thanks, thanks a lot for helping me on finding the words I was afraid to face to. Thanks for making this great war declaration to depression. I hate depression too. I hated it when I was been used for a fcking pervert when I was 8. I hated it while sitting alone in the school for 2 years and feeling everyone's eyes on me like "look the freak!". I hated it when soccer was on TV and my parents were paying full attention to every player and not to me. I hate it when I was alone at my room back this February and had to call the police for help because my mind was "that knife in your hand looks like will give us relief". I've been scared since then. I'm scare to attack my body, to become a murderer and that my victim will be myself. I'm really scare, so fcking scared of the power this disorder causes on people. But now I feel that I am not alone, thanks for giving voice to the inside-me who was silenced long time ago.

I’ve been dealing with depression for 25 years. It’s a ruthless cycle but I’m still here. Thanks REN!

Holy cow, “ I’ve always felt so fucking detached” that exact sentence I have used when descirbing myself. Seperate of others, no, not better, nor worse, just distant, unable to connect or relate.

Pills didnt help, therapists didnt help but the song really helps

A coworker told me to check out your music. Im never able to express my emotions, I don't understand what emotions are most of the time or how I should feel them... Then tonight, I've never wept genuine tears from hearing music that,like magic, dug my suppressed depression out from its hiding place and beat it senseless. Thank you ren for giving us a pieces of your soul with every track you record.

I found you so late. It sucks I found you so late. A couple days ago I got lost again and I almost went too deep into that abyss again, so it's a hell of a coincidence youtube brought me to your music. This song is so damn relatable, man. Thank you for sharing your art and your pain. Alone, the weight crushes us. It's so fricking unbearable most days. But there's many of us and together we're stronger. I don't know you, but I love you, man. I don't know if you'll read this since this is an older video, but thank you.

Seriously, Ren - you’ll prob never see this - but I need to tell you. I discovered you from “Hi Ren” I’ve shared it in every platform I have. You have caused me to weep. Not cry. But weep. finding it difficult to catch my next breath. Fucking chills when I even hear your song in my head. I’ve been a successful songwriter in music, for TV/Film with my Hollywood publishers - but your music pulls me back. Shows me what all I lack. When I heard “Hi Ren” - it felt like when I heard the Beatles for the 1st time, like when I heard the sweetness of James Taylor for the 1st time - like when I heard the angst of Tool in the early 90s. This thing that you are is simply generational. It’s something for the masses to try to understand. It is honesty, combined with the brilliance of musical talent and horrors. My life’s path as a songwriter has changed because of you. Bless you - and fuck you for making my songs feel so …. Normal. Cheers from Texas, US. Be well, man. You deserve it.

Ren you beautiful broken minded soul... Your not alone in your aloneness even though it's a lonely space there's a lot of us wandering around in the same dark fucked up place

It's such an overwhelming feeling when you find an artist who manages to make you feel so proudly alive, in sorrow as well as happiness. Thank you Ren.

Nah mate, it's scary how accurate this is... I'm 24yo man crying like a baby right now. The description made me smile tho. Thanks for caring (after breaking me into pieces😂).

honestly this song really struck a chord in me... but the part "I've danced with the devil in hell. I've sat in a prisonless cell. and here I always dwell... in this prison in myself" that part really made me look at myself and realize the prison i put myself in, but it made me realize that im the inmate and the warden... both stuck and in control of a place i cant leave

Im 22 and I started crying listening to this song, thanks to u ren i started playing the guitar again cause i was missing a passion in my life. thanks

@Ren, thank you for this. After 32 (I'm 45) years of "living" with mental illnesses, I finally decided to seek professional help. My heart skipped a beat when I heard "Running water is the state that I wish to become". One morning after a few weeks of being medicated, I woke up to my alarm. I was laying in bed, half sleep and half awake, I think ( I might have been just dreaming). I suddenly realized that my thoughts were so clear and the constant ringing in my ears had been silenced. When I finally got out of bed, I sat at my computer and wrote (something that I never do btw) this. "3/18/2022 - I wanted to write this down so I didn’t forget how I felt this morning. For a brief moment before I was fully awake my mind felt quiet. No ringing, no thoughts being bounced all over the place. No having pointless conversations with myself in my head that will never come to fruition. It felt as if my thoughts flowed with no resistance. Like water flowing calmly down a river with nothing in its path. It was as if I could make any decision immediately and it would be the right choice. I pray that this wasn’t a dream and it’s what it’ll feel like when the medicine starts to fully work..." Dang, I almost teared up after rereading this 😢😂 . Sadly, I haven't experienced it again since that day. The meds are somewhat helping and I hope that someday I can feel that way every morning when I open my eyes.

I’m so emotionless anymore. This helps me cry though. It hurts how much I relate to this. I love you Ren. Thank you.

Having never suffered from depression myself; just a mere month ago, I would not have understood the meaning of these lyrics. But 3 weeks ago I met someone online who was crying out for help. I arrived in their life just in time to avert a 4th suicide attempt. Since then, I've made myself available to help them 24/7. Most days for the first two weeks staying up all night to keep their mind off their problems. Now I understand. I recognise so much truth in this song. This past week, some progress has been made and I'm hoping that with my help, the progress will continue and they may one day see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you, Ren , for pointing it all out in this song.

I am 59 years old and you are describing my life . Can't believe we are still in this place - but you are saying it and that makes all the difference X Don't ever stop Ren X

Ren ....you make every breath feel so real...so alive .... The opening to this song is the reason music exists .... Your a special special guy Ren .... I aspire to be like you one day.... Im a musician ...song writer and inspirational speaker in my tiny little town ...bobcageon.... Tragically hip sang a song about my town :)

Depression, Anxiety, Addiction, health, Loss, Fear, Pain, Failing… In life I have fell into all of these depths… I try to be the best me everyday, and always praying to still be better… Some Battles I have come through scorched, bruised, and bleeding but not beaten. Some are battles I fight daily… Thank you @Ren

Being bipolar and ADHD I have had this whole monologue in my head when I try to sleep. I love how its captured

This song is a perfect example for why I love ren’s music so much. finding something that feels real is so rare, that when you find it’s the greatest gift of all. Thank you for knowing how to speak our pain.

Ren speaks for a generation of young and old, all over the world for the ones that cant speak on it. Thank you for helping me through these past few days Ren. Been dancing with the devil since I was 12, Im 36 with a young son of my own now. Ill give him all the love I yearned for. Thank you Ren. You touch all of the lost souls of the world ❤

I think it's really important that this song DOESN'T have a swelling, inspiring section. Because that's how depression can be. You can be endlessly aware of how screwed up you are, and constantly try to fix it, but sometimes there's nothing you can do. This pandemic has driven me to just look up depression countless numbers of times, and this is the most powerful thing I've found this way. Thank you Ren.

I have never listened to an artist whose music moves me the way Ren's music does. I can't describe the love I have for this man and his music. His lyrics. His brain.

Writing this in tears. Big hugs. I feel like you just read out my diary. My dad died when I was 10 my best friend at 16. Life of therapy pills and misdiagnosis. Depression is the biggest battle I still fight to this day apart from ADHD. almost 33 and you just made me cry like a baby.

This song hits real hard. It really feels like the poem "Spleen IV" by the french poet Baudelaire. Pure art. Such great description of depression, anxiety.

Wait this song is 4 years old? No surprise you've been blowing up lately, you have always been making great art of course people would eventually catch onto this.

I like this. It isn't like, "Oh yeah, there's a cure for depression" it's "depression is here and it's not going away but I'm living with it."

As if the song wasn’t good enough, at 1:40 it was then the replay buttons been hit non stop.

yesterday I discovered you and your music, heard this song for the very first time! I connected immediately. when I heard the line "I've danced with the devil in hell(, sat in a prisonless cell, in here I always dwell in this prison in myself)" I had to pause and I decided then and there: I'm getting this tattooed. if you are okay with that. this song speaks a heavy part of my own story, my life. thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece! please never stop making music and creating art. xx

A detail I really appreciate in this song is how the tone shifts through the beginning, middle and end. The start is like the low, obsessing on the pain, struggle and helplessness of the past, the middle is the high, accepting and overcoming the overwhelming sadness, and pushing to get better, and the inevitable crash back down, sinking back into the murky ocean of depression. It's truly an amazing metaphor and I haven't heard a better description. You really are a talented lyricist Ren, you deserve so much more than you have.

All I can say through my tears is thank you thank you for making me feel understood

Most of people make music. Ren writes a most beautiful, painful and personal diary and shares it with us. Thank you Ren !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m here for everything Ren has to offer. So many levels. So much depth. Music and poetry and art: the only place where you can take solace in depression.

This is absolutely one of the most heart wrenching, yet beautiful songs I've ever heard. Feeling these lyrics wholeheartedly today, Ren. My father commit suicide and its almost the 10 year anniversary of his death so I'm thinking of him a lot recently. The only outlet I have is putting my headphones on and blasting your music. Your lyrics make give me a sense of safety and security so thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

This is genuinely some of the most beautifully written words I have ever heard, it's a raw honest representation of feelings that are weighing heavily on a person. Indeed the song succeeded in saying what many wanted to say but couldn't or did not know how to.... Just freaking wow

When you said "I had to come to terms with the fact that that time never really existed" that really hit me hard. I'm a very nostalgic person and when I look back on my memories they all have a bit of a "happy glow" of sorts. But thinking back on it alot of those times I wasn't really happy that's just how my brain chooses to remember it because it's less painful than the truth. The truth is all of those "happy" memories I was struggling with depression and my demons but now I look back on those memories and they bring me comfort

my life has been an endless line of suffering, your music helps me, calms me from doing something i'll regret, thank you ren, thank you for helping my with your art

I didn't think anyone could explain this so well. I didn't know anyone could explain how I'm feeling so well. Thanks... I've realised that it's the same feeling other people have. You're a good person and thanks for making this music. I've listened to a lot of your songs, and you seem like you've been through a lot. I just hope you see this message and realise how many feel this mutual gratitude towards you. Thanks for being alive.

Ren, with your music I feel less alone. Thank you

"Depression brings us lessons" it does, they're just lessons no one wants, needs, nor deserves to have to learn

For 38 years, I suffered from depression and anger due to childhood and military trauma. Diagnosed in 2019 with bipolar disorder type 2, depression, anxiety/panic disorders, and intermittent explosiveness; and then PTSD in 2020 I know the struggle. And to hear someone as talented as you sing about issues that many of us relate makes it possible to feel as if we are not alone. Praying for you and your journey brother. Never stop the fight; or as you put it in "Hi Ren," the eternal dance.

This is the deepest and most honest song I have heard in so long...wow...just wow your capacity to put your emotions into those hurting words. As you say, this is your art, this is who you are and I am very grateful to be able to hear you. Thanks for sharing this

You are probably by far my favourite artist. Your lyrics speak everything I feel and you make me feel like I'm not alone. I love you so much Ren and it's not fair you must know this shit life throws at us, and I'm sorry you go through it. It fucking sucks, alot. You're music gets me through some of the darkest of days. I appreciate you and your lyrics

Life’s been rough ren. Since birth sure, but shits on a different level these last couple years. These traumas hammer at my soul so I turn on some music, load another bowl , extend my workable hours and dive deeper into my great unknown. My greatest fears appear to be unraveling right before me. I struggle dialectically so upon protecting myself and my family from danger can’t help but wonder just how nuts I still am and if this is really all happening just because of me??? Im unclear the last time I cried actual tears of empathy for myself when it was well fkn earned but recently discovering YOU and your music helped me breakthrough. I can not even explain how much I adore your honesty, vulnerability, and accent 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I cry for you and I cry for me and I cry for anyone silently living in similar misery. I advocate for our kind, I try to help to lead the blind, maybe i don’t know- maybe I can change their mind?? I advocate for my predators because I know their poor souls have got it even worse. That empty core curse. People feel through music and I believe you are becoming a huge part in our humankind’s evolution. Thanks for being real af and turning your shame into share. I 🖤 your aching heart, homie!!! Keep them coming🖤

I knew I had to steel myself before experiencing this work of art because I was afraid it would hit too close to home. It's not something I'll be able to listen to often because it's so raw, but I really appreciate Ren for putting this out. It hurts my heart, but it also provides that solidarity that I and so many others crave when we're going through hard times.

Wow, I cant find the words to describe how this song and insomnia have pervaded my mind and soul. The more i dig the more I feel awakened. Thanks for sharing.

wow even after having improved my life so much this still touches my heart, Ren you're incredible I hope you find success. not necessarily fame but just success, whatever that means to you, and overall, thanks.

I’ve tried singing this song about 30 times now. I can’t do it without tears surfacing. Great job REN

This is amazing. A beautiful song as well as insomnia, would love to see an ep of these spoken word - ish songs.

I myself struggle with depression, and my grandfather killed himself thanksgiving. This song, for the first time in a while, made me really feel something. It sent chills down my spine- for the first time ever. I used to think that the idea something could make you feel that way was a figure of speech. The chill and the way it just opened up the things I had locked inside... Thank you Ren, for sharing.

OMG Ren. 💔😭💯 I feel you. I love you so much. You put into words what so many people hold inside as it drowns us, but opening up yourself in this way helps us connect as your words cut into our hearts and help release our own pain as it flows down our cheeks, from your soul to ours

25 years listening to hiphop but this came at the right time REN is talking bout things no one wants to. thank you i needed this today

I just come across this singer guy. Hrs singing about his real day to day depression and his life. I just love him.

I love you Ren. Thank you for putting it into words dear friend

I am thankful and disturbed finding your music. I was “diagnosed” as manic at 12….. manic? Or bad parents? Hmm…. Doesn’t matter now. I’m an adult and the job is mine right? I refused all the pills at 19. Decided then to feel everything instead of nothing. 5 therapists later….. I stopped. I will make it or I won’t. Thank you for your music, your stories, your voice. You are a gift and I AM glad I found you. Be well and hopefully heal swiftly

I can't explain it but i just know i'll never get tired of this song. It's literlly my cup of tea, it has monologue no cheesy overused lines, originalitty,instruments, and to top it all off wonderful timed background music..and aswell acting(like the crying at the end.)

why why why are people just finding you now ?? Such raw talent every word you were saying had feeling and meaning , and most people with depression will relate .

I rated this from the first listen - the composition is beautiful. I am always taken when each part is played just enough, each note feels essential and the silences are played with as much skill as the rest. BUT the spoken words are incredible. It’s so realistic and raw. I can only admire the commitment to telling your truth on something so difficult to speak at all, about anything, let alone the demon itself. You’ve made me feel less alone, I’ve grappled with the discomfort of my reality being put before me by this and can identity all of my guilt and shame and anger and resignation and submission to it. To hate something means there is energy to change it, to fight. Thank you

Well I’m quite speechless. When all of the contents of a song are something you can relate to, you kind of feel understood and validated. And what’s more, you give a voice and an understanding to this life that most are so embarrassed to tell people about. I’ve written so many songs about depression but this is far more than I could ever do. I love the spoken word vibes in it especially. Thanks for crafting this so beautifully. And thank you for sharing your gift with us. 💕

Arrrgghh i cant conjur words in any language with enough expression and meaning to express how i feel about this piece of art real art.

This is absolutely heart wrenching. I truly didn’t know other people felt this way. I was misdiagnosed for years and the therapists never help, the medication never helped. Spent so much of my youth in a psych ward. The only thing that helps is being in that “flow” state while creating. Later to find out I am actually AuDHD. I can never relax, yet so detached from everything surrounding me. No better way described as a concrete slab. Thank you for making me feel.

This song is so raw.. I cried all the way through & then BAWLED when he cried at the end of the song. I want anybody and everybody who related to this to know that I care about you and your shattered heart, I care that you care enough about this shitty world to feel depressed in the first place & although it’s such a fucking cliché but you really aren’t alone and it really helps to hear these things being sung in words I wouldn’t even have been able to think of.. thank you so much Ren, your words carry a sort of magic and this kind of song is so important to hear when your head is in the ‘concrete` ♥️✌️

The golden age lines hit hard and made me do some self reflection. Glad I stumbled upon your music and wish you the best in your treatments in Canada!

man, i keep getting back to this everytime i slide from reality, i know my feelings i know where i am but sometimes i need this. thanks i hope you are doing good Ren, been following your music for a while now i just hope is helping you as much as it's helping others...

I needed to hear this. I want to share this with every person who ever looked down at me as I struggled to explain how it felt to be inside my head. To those who have told me "get over it" "just dont be sad" "chill out" "its not that bad" .. get yourself educated. Depression is ruthless. Fuck depression.

Its a shame that this was taken off of Spotify, because damn this song just rocks. Like every thought flew out and into this song that brings peace whenever I listen to it.

This speaks to me on an other level....it feels strange...that someone else knows what it feels like to be so low.... I hope you're doing good Ren, here if you need. ❤️

The beat on ‘dismatched’ is honestly amazing. Ren you are such an amazing talented singer. Your music is so good, I love listening to it especially this one is just something else!

Down the Ren rabbit hole I went. Here I sit crying again to myself. Can't live without ren anymore

There's something about this song that settles down into the deepest pit of your stomach. It's beautiful, and hypnotising, but it hurts because it conveys that specific feeling so perfectly it's like opening a fresh wound with words and sound alone.

This song just hits you. Today i played this song for my mom and dad. We all cried in the car while hearing it on replay. It's just such a real song, with real feelings. You are a beautiful soul Ren 🖤 Absolutely amazing artists. Completely in love with everything you make 🖤

Oh man this is so good! Fellow adhder here who also lived through depression and anxiety. You find words and music that expresses exactly what it feels like. You are an inspiration! ❤

I've been living with major depression, anxiety, and cPTSD since 8 and now agoraphobia. This just made me bawl. Thanks, Ren, for describing it. I'm sorry, you also know how it feels, though. Much love to anyone and everyone that gets it! 🙏❤

My thought patterns are composed by a time-bomb for an author Like pigs to the slaughter A symphony of self doubt sings out Breath starts getting shorter Running water Is the state that I wish to become Instead concrete envelopes my movement And I am rendered deaf and dumb Unable to heed the advice of others Don't tell me things will get better 'Cause so far things haven't got better I've got the sweater Poster child Bipolar ADHD, Therapists wet dream I don't wanna talk about my father I don't wanna talk about my dead friend I don't wanna talk about myself I'm sick of talking about my self I'm sick of talking about my self And realising that talking about myself never, ever helps Still...I call for help 'Cause I really want help But the pills didn't seem to help And the therapists didn't seem to help But still... I want help I've danced with the devil in hell I've sat in a prisonless cell And here I always dwell In this prison in myself I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age You know those times where you were carefree And everything was Golden? The golden age You know those times where everything was golden? Where you were carefree and everything was golden The hardest thing I ever had to do Was come to terms with the fact that... That time never really existed I've always felt so fucking detached And broken, bruised and mismatched Find it hard to relax Living under the cracks Try to fill in the gaps Lying here on my back Still, I can't find it Sense of peace, yeah? My mind declined it Pulse increased and my sweat combines with A feeling so deep I fall inside it Depression I hate you, Depression Your constant oppression Respond with aggression They say depression brings you lessons Constant stressing conceals blessings You will grow in broken settings Fuck those lessons, fuck Depression I've been living in your shadow for so long That I forgot how I can shine How I can find a refuge in my mind How am I meant to sit here and unwind? The planets align I feel like I'm cursed Feel like im cursed to just be here to hurt I feel like im cursed just to be here to bleed with my demons Been feeling this way since birth

damn ... i never saw an artist approaching the same topics even with the same imagery as i did... never heard an artist saying that there had never been a golden age to remember upon. thank you, thank you for making me, and all of the other people feeling left out, don't feel alone with their portrayal of depression, that is never shown that way by all the other people, who try to find the right words for their state.

Well I have just found you and yeah wow. It's so spine tingling original. Words couldn't describe you..

Listening from 1:32 until the end, I couldn't breathe properly. When I listen to music, most of the times, I just want to feel. But when I listen to your music, it strips me of all the façades I've put up. Like I'm itching to take off my skin. It's scary. Thank you for your lyrical honesty, Ren.

"Don't tell me things will get better..." Many of us have been there and felt the same... but healing has to start from somewhere :'(

This is a high form of poetry. Love from Italy! Keep it up mate!

I love that golden age part. How he repeats it as if he is trying to convince himself that it is real. That in itself is golden

Thank you so much for sharing your mental health issues with the world. I've been struggling a lot recently and this song embodies what is going on in my mind. Your music is so beautiful. I am so glad that I recently found you.

“Sat in a prisonless cell” what a great way to describe it.

Yours can't be called music, it can't be called art, none of those even do it justice.... you're a fucking genius bro. I am so in love with your work, I hope there's a lot more to come.

Wow! Everything I want to say out loud, but can never properly express. Thank you so much, Ren! 🩵

The only artist that actually makes me feel something

another song that I've bawled through... thank you for expressing this pain 💜

Wow, i'm 57 and that made me cry like I was a lonely child again. Painful to listen to but I'm glad I have found your channel. You are very special.

It's refreshing to hear this after shushing my demons and finally being able to shine again

One week ago today my mom's heart stopped. I feel like mine did too. I miss her so much even though I can feel her here with me I want to be with her.